Yes and no. My wife and I don't give gifts to anyone but our kids, even though two are grown now. It took a ton of pressure off of us to get off that crazy train of shopping and wrapping and hoping that it's what the person wanted. This was a great video and countercultural to be sure!
I would embrace a no gift Christmas. I would so much rather celebrate the birth of jesus, breaking bread and quiet meals with family and friends, and a more relaxed, quiet, introspective season. There is just so much pressure to do all the gifts, the shopping, the abundance of presents and money spent. As I get older, the thought of a quiet , non rushed , hassle free holiday sounds blissful.
Same here but in our early 60’s we have adopted our granddaughter who will be 8 in January. We are starting all over and truly getting more enjoyment with her than our original children but at the same time we are homeschooling and raising her in Sunday school and in a strong Christian Faith. 🙌🏼. I plan to let this be her last Santa year then prepare her for a more meaningful celebration of Christ’s birth next year. She knows the true meaning this year, I just mean next year the true meaning will be our focus and not the commercialization of it.
As a mama of 9 and family of 11, we are doing things differently this year. I'm only doing 1 gift per child and a favorite snack or treat. I think after 17 years of family christmases I'm more aware of the waste that comes from Christmas. I am focusing and changing our life to one more simple and free from chaos 😊
I have asked both of my children what they look forward to during this season and neither of them mentioned gifts. One looks forward to the different kinds of foods that we share together and the other looks forward to putting up a live tree together. Their responses opened my eyes to the fact that it is usually adults who are worrying more about gifts than the children. Kids really, really want to spend time with their parents. Your Christmas day sounds wonderful!
Yes one year, we didn't have the $ for gifts, i was a single mom. So we did a 'gift exchange', of some thing each of us liked or appreciated about of each other. My daughter used to borrow a top of mine to wear for special occasions. So I wrapped it up and gave it to her for her to own for special occasions. She was thrilled it now was hers. My son appreciated when his sister baked cookies, so she baked his favorite chocolate chip cookies, wrapped them up and put them under the tree. My church friends gave me 'hand me down' clothes for my children, that they really appreciated. But then the special occasion for us was volunteering at a different church, Christmas Eve day preparing a Christmas dinner feeding over 150 people, then going on Christmas Day to serve it! My children got a gift as did the other children there. What was best was we got to bring home leftover turkey and all the rest! As I couldn't afford to shop for a Christmas dinner, i couldn't afford food. My church collected food for the needy and told us to take whatever I needed from the donations, weekly. Some ladies taught me how to make bread and gave me flour and yeast. We spent special time together christmas eve going to church, candle light service too! Hugging each other, playing games, listening to music, and having their friends drop in. ✝️🍪👍
Oh my son gave me a list of special chores he would do for me. He also made a Christmas ornament at school for me. I gave them a Christmas card, and in it my love and appreciation written all over it! Naming it explicitly!
Wow! What an incredible story! So thoughtful for everyone involved - and what could have been a ‘bad memory’ of a hard time, was turned into something beautiful! ❤️
@@ArrowHillCottage Bless you and your family this Christmas and always! Thank you for your teachings to live with minimal in our lives and surroundings! I grew up with very minimal in my life as a child. I was very happy and appreciated all that I had. Never wanting for more. Very few clothes in my closet, 3 outfits for school, 3 dresses for church. One outer winter, apparel. 2 sets of winter hats, mitts. 4 sets of pants, or shorts, tops etc for playing in. My closet was not full. My clothes got exchanged as I grew out of them. Today I still have some clothing from 10-15 years ago, my favourites 😍. Shoes, boots do get replaced. I also give to and shop at thrift stores for something different each year. Wear it awhile then give it back.
This year we cute way back...three gifts per child and for the grandmothers. It was a simple hour to wrap everything too which was nice. My husband and I only do stockings for each other.
Love it. I decided my gifts will be cooking and baking favorites of my family. To be thankful and grateful for what I have that I need. Listening and singing along with Christmas music and dancing. To give my time, and to play their favorate reindeer games. No stress, just the presence of your loved ones is present enough. Its the best!
Very proud of you. You're teaching your children the true meaning of Christmas. It would be nice if more people thought like you.....I'm on your side. Christmas has become too commercialized and the true meaning is lost with many people. 💪🏻🙏🏻
It was really eye opening to us when we were giving gifts that next year. It hadn’t really dawned on us until that point how commercialized even we had been accustomed to! It was kind of scary to be honest! Happy to now feel like we have some control on the situation at least! ❤️
In the Netherlands it is not a tradition to give gifts, but there are more and more people who see gift giving around us and start doing it themselves. Our family does not and I have no intentions to start giving gifts. For us, that is not what Christmas is all about. We will be going to church on Christmas eve. We have 2 days on which we celebrate Christmas, the first day we will be at home, doing fun things as a family and the second day we will be visiting my mother. Great video and I think your family has created very fine and intentional traditions to celebrate the season. ❤ Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family.
My [divorced] son lives with me. We have his 2 daughters every other week. We have intentionally fallen into the tradition of celebrating Christmas Eve with the Girls. After all, Santa needs to start early if he’s going to make it around the world in 24 hours. 😉We get up and treat the day like it’s Christmas, complete with a nice dinner. Later, I go to Midnight Mass and have a very relaxing December 25th. It’s not traditional, but it works for us.
I enjoyed your plans, and believe we need to reset every so often. This year we didn’t have a tree, and only a handful of decorations. We were getting our home ready for selling, but medical issues has taken priority, even not having everyone around, which is quite stressful at the best of times! But in saying that, we really need to enjoy every moment and less busyness at this time. Next year maybe different, but I’m not going to stress about it!
My BEST Christmas as a teen was a no gift year with my family. Sparked by financial reasons, we opted instead to forego the gifts and w/o that pressure we shared memories and laughed and focused our attention on the blessings of Family and the birth of Christ. Now we are regenerating that again as my mom and I have very limited resources and my nieces and nephews are into adulthood. My friends have also agreed that the gift of friendship is more than enough, and all our stress levels are lower. When I taught PK, we did a secret friendship gift. They each picked a name and wrote 3 things they liked about that peer and 1 thing they could do together along with a picture. They wrapped up their gift and added candy. Every day of December we pulled out a gift, read it aloud, and exchanged thanks. We all loved it ❤ Sounds so like your sibling game it makes my heart smile. I love that you’re doing this so intentionally. What fabulous lifetime memories your family are creating ❤
Sounds wonderful and fun and meaningful. We have a large extended family. There will be 29 of us this year. We all share in a pot blessing with all the traditional trimmings. As far as giving the adults one gift and do an open exchange. Lots of laughs as we play the game. Same with the teens. The aunt's and uncles give small gifts to the younger children. One year I gave $10.00 to everyone with a small gift. The $10.00 was to be given to charity of their choice of the six charities list in envelopes. It was well received by adults and children alike.
Do you play the game where a person can ‘steal’ the gift from another? We have played that in the past and it is so fun! I really like your idea of gifting money to be applied toward charity. Very thoughtful! ❤️
I think children put on a brave face for parents sometimes. It’s our responsibility as parents to make sure our children don’t feel our financial pressures or our mental loads. We have 12 months to prepare. When you tell your kids you have no money, they will of course put on a pretend brave face because they know you can’t afford it. Children love gifts and Santa and the magic of Christmas. I guess I just couldn’t imagine taking that away from my child because I didn’t financially plan correctly. Your children might not seem sad to you, but I’m sure they feel a bit hurt.
It took us 18 months to build our house - it was stressful and draining. The kids noticed. They love us, and realized right away that gifts, that first year, would be an additional stressor. You can assume that they were hurt or sad - but that is NOT what we witnessed! It was absolutely the best Christmas we have ever had together as a family! ❤️
We were all stressing about what to get each other for Christmas that we decided to give ourselves the gift of taking the pressure off and buying nothing. We'll just spend a bunch of time together, enjoy good food and laughs, and do some fun activities to make some special memories.
hey there! There are NO gifts this year just for our 2 boys that´s it! I hate spending money on crap and useless stuff!! I love minimalism and and living with less, less spending, less debt, less mess and so on and so forth! Happy holidays with good food and family.
У нас в России чаще дарят подарки на Новый год, а не Рождество. Последние несколько лет я тоже отказалась от подарков для всех, дарю только детям небольшую сумму денег чтобы купили себе сладостей. Очень стало экономить бюджет, а то родственников много, а ерунду дарить не хочу.
No gift Christmas for first time this year. I always stressing about gifts for the adult children who generally do not have needs and they know that I am trying to minimize our “stuff”. Gifting money seemed so generic and lame on my part but they also do not need useless items. For once I am excited about Christmas!
Beautiful!! I’ve really been struggling with whether or not the whole gift giving / Santa thing is sacrilegious!!! I can’t stand that by allowing our little girl to believe in Santa that we are in essence teaching her sometimes it’s “ok” to lie! 😩😩😩. Her birthday is a couple of weeks after Christmas so I think we could more easily transition to a no gift Christmas because she will still have her own birthday coming soon after. This year, we have done it up fairly big again and I’m exhausted and wanting to kick myself. 😢 Thank you for the encouragement and wonderful ideas for hopefully next year for us! God bless you and your family and Merry Christmas! 🙏🙌🏼🎄
I would love to do this. I think the year on/year off routine you have strikes a great balance. But I know I personally would always prefer the years off. Even as a child I was always overwhelmed by gifts at Christmas. Very grateful, but still very overwhelmed. I crave(d) traditions and quality time with my family over gifts. And you are right - for some reason it is hard to focus properly on ANY of the other love languages when gift giving is involved.
I had the same feeling as you did as a child with gifts - overwhelmed! Everyone looking at you, and then if you didn’t really care for the gift having to make it look like you did. Ha ha! ❤️
ty for your good thoughtful words, I like modesty and a good bit of humility- it's interesting what you said about the gift-giving years- how the gift-giving seems to blanket the experience- I suppose it could be like the difference between shopping at a store together or going on a walk on a trail in the woods together certainly different things are going to be experienced and shared- what's felt and exchanged on a nice walk will not be experienced while shopping and buying EVER! Is homeschooling on recessed for the holidays?! 🌤🌈🌟🌠
Great analogy - And so much truth! The experiences will be very different indeed! For homeschooling at the moment we are doing a Christmas unit study - but will take the week of Christmas, into the New Year, off for a relaxing break! ❤️❄️❤️
How do your kids feel when they return to school and other kids are talking about the gifts they received? Have they ever experienced sadness about not getting gifts? Or ever embarrassed about doing Christmas the Arrow Hill Cottage Way? (I would love to try to do your no gift Christmas idea with my family... but my kids are 14 and 10 and 4 months. )
When other kids ask ‘what did you get?’ They say something along the lines of ‘the entire day with my family doing fun things together. We went sledding, baked cookies, watched a movie, etc. etc.’ It has not been embarrassing for them at all. By the way- that was one of my worries when we opted to do this the first year…and now looking back I can see how silly it is. Imagine adults standing around comparing salaries or the things they buy. I suppose in some regards they do when trying to ‘keep up with the Jones’s’ - but…kids being worried about comparing with other kids can set in motion a lifetime of feeling inadequate. Someone will ALWAYS have more….always. ❤️
It's wonderful that you're going against the grain of our society and the commercialization of Christmas. Thanks for speaking out and showing us that it can be done.
What a beautiful way to celebrate jesus and his birth your children will love every min and realize when there oldr and talk to friends about this tradition how very special there parents are God bless you and all your family Merry Christmas 🎄
One thing that I have really enjoyed doing this year was our scavenger hunt advent calendar that I made. All of the gifts were either books that I had from when I was teaching or a Hershey kiss for each kid. They have absolutely loved it and figuring out the clues has been a lot of fun!
I think I’m doing ok despite the toxic challenges of the season. Hah. My deadline is Jan 1. 😅😅 (When all the so called enthusiasts drop the holiday like a hot potato and forget all about it. So fickle. Claiming it’s so “special” but it’s clear to me that it’s not as special to them as they make it out to be during the season. To me it’s rather like some shallow infatuation people have and then after they move on so fast. I also wonder if I’m the only one who notices such things. Lol). I wonder if they ever think about how maybe Father Christmas doesn’t really like being put on the shelf 11 months out of the year and then paraded around like a trophy for a month with everyone claiming to have such great devotion to him. Like if it’s really just a fling, get real about that. Don’t call just a seasonal fling “true love.” Lol. Well anyways. It’s just one part of why I think “Bah humbug 🙄” is often an appropriate sentiment. Or grumpy cat “Ho Ho NO.” Lol. The big future in law dinner went well. They brought the whole crew. Parents, aunt, sister. Lol. Strangely my mother backed off. (Playing nice. What is she up to now, I wonder? Lol. I want to say outright something like “Don’t think we’re friends now. Why are you always trying to compete with me? Why envy your own daughter like that? What are you? 13? But most of the time I just don’t say it). I wound up spending about half an hour at their house with them. On my game tho. Detected in that short span one “joke” aka insult/put down at my expense (From the “step father” which was as easy as swatting a fly-I got facetious about it like I often do lol) and a reference to my kid having a “room” at their place (which is like a bad memory for me when they basically hijacked my kid all through high school-things I don’t usually tell folks Bcuz they tend to wonder how bad I was that my kid moves in with them….although it wasn’t like that at all. I was just brainwashed back then when I believed maybe he’d be better off with them and not me. It’s not like I couldn’t see my kid but it was like I had to take their abuse with it and there was at least some low level parental estrangement for me. My “crime” was being “poor” and having the single mom struggle and battling bouts of depression. If that was legit cause to take a kid from their mom’s home, then a ton of moms wouldn’t have their kids under their own roof anymore. And the outrage is that they were the main cause of my emotional disturbances and at least the partial cause of my poverty. So I mean that’s what’s coming up now for me. New and deeper realizations about that. So this really is just me taking back what belongs to me. Better late than never). Anyways. I gave her a look to kill and she started backpedaling about oh he had a room with his mom too etc. So you know. I’m just saying. Evidence. And this is only a casual 1/2 hour around them. Always I wind up thinking why did I even go? But the dinner was all mine. Selfish or not, I think it’s my right anyways. Well thanks again for bearing with me. I guess for me that was it. Already over. It’ll be another long distance Christmas which will be easy compared to all of that. Lol. For me I want to get a deal on an ideal new tree after. I haven’t had a “green” one in a long time. I want one of those fluffy cashmere trees with the fake white snow and built in white lights. My latest new personal thing was cooking a 17lb Turkey that I got after Thxgiv for .99/lb. It was my first time cooking a big bird like that. What a fiasco trying to inject the bird. Such a mess. We shall see tho. 😅😅 Today is when we cut and eat on some of it. And I’m thinking that for me next time a smaller bird and just make the juice a kind of separate add on for the meat. As the only goal was not bland and not too dry. Lol. What I think of your plans. Lol. (Which ya know doesn’t really matter. It’s not my life lol). But yah. I admire your courage to not just be stuck in some traditional program that has no real meaning to you. Or that even goes against your values. That I can def relate to. We should not be ashamed to be what we wanna be. Others should be ashamed for trying to make us be some kind of way (or be told we are weird or wrong Bcuz we refuse etc) that isn’t true to ourselves or our own hearts. I’m just going to give my two young cousins gift cards and a little something for my fave cousin and her hubs (their parents). But visiting them all is my main thing, as they are my REAL fam that I can trust. My adult kid (if he can ever figure out what he wants lol) and his gf. A few little small trinkets for my two female tenants. That’s about it. Might decorate. Might not. Lol. One year my son wanted to do the genealogy thing and that was fun. I may gift myself that this year. Find out my own DNA profile. Lol.
Happy to hear that the dinner together went ‘mostly’ ok! And that you were able to participate for just as much as you wanted to. Crazy price on the turkey you bought. Wowza! Apparently post holiday is when the real savings can be made! We are looking forward to a week off of school and other responsibilities- but I have a feeling the grocery expenses during that time will be insane! I hope you can have a happy, intentional holiday - whether with decorations or not. ❤️
@@ArrowHillCottage Aw thank you. Yeah. I mean ugh. The things I should’ve done a lot sooner. But better late than never. Lol. It was Aldi day after thanksgiving. Lol. Well idk. Maybe God gives me these weird “talents” to make up for the other stuff that wasn’t so good (like “deal sniffer” lol). Well I mean the main thing is you get to eat good food and be with the ones you love. A deal on stuff and food would be some yummy icing tho. Lol. But I think that’s the ironic thing about it. Finding joy in that ya know. Little things just making my day like that. Lol. (Except the Turkey was big lol). It was a new experience for me. A big one like that and “injecting” it. 😂😂 (what a clumsy mess that was lol). Turns out I might have some cooking skills I never knew I had. Lol. But that’s what it’s all about to me for now tho. Trying new things. Learning. Etc. Sad I can’t enjoy stuff like that with my “mother” (there would be envy and she would poop on my skills) but still happy it’s there and happy trumps sad now. And whatever eh? Poor thing. She’s really missing out ya know. I personally think that “wealth” should not be measured in dollars and cents. I think it should be measured in contentment levels. Lol. Them going around showing off their new Tesla. Lol. And all I got is this Turkey deal. Oh well. I still think I’m better off than them. Ha ha. And I’m not sure people even know the magnitude of what enjoying a simple dinner without having to “be on guard” or keep “checking my perimeter.” Or shrink yourself by default or unconsciously revert back to a child or robot state. It’s just the kind of relaxation and freedom I needed. Lol. I said I needed cheese for my eggs. Lol. Room for my legs. As some say…don’t be afraid to take up space. Grateful for that Bcuz it’s not always a given. I did sit in the car for a sec with my kid and said should I even go in or not? Lol. And he was like well it’s up to you. I don’t always get “attacked” but there is always a risk of it happening. And it doesn’t always get to me, but sometimes it does.
This is a curated rather than a chaotic Christmas in 2023. Putting Advent candles in the window (2 for now, will add as Advent 3 and 4 arrive.) Donating to a charity in the names of family members - this year it is Undies for Everyone. For friends it is donating to Doctors Without Borders. Planning to sing The Messiah along with a professional choir. First time owning the score! Today is a new moon so it is a good time for setting an intention for the rest of Advent and Christmastide. Prioritizing sleep, turning off devices for the evening at supper time, eating with no distractions, and revisiting the “O Antiphons” which are beautiful recognitions of the season’s attributes. Doing a bookstore crawl with friends just to see what is out there.. may or may not purchase anything!
![State of Play | September 24, 2024 [ENGLISH]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/fVs0suPHAX8/mqdefault.jpg)
Have you ever tried a No Gift Christmas?
In our family we have been celebrating Christmas and birthdays without gifts for many years. To us it’s all about spending quality time together.
No. I think it's shitty. Gifts don't have to be many nor expensive.
Also, kids are GOOD at lying and hiding their emotions. They LOVE gifts.
Yes and no. My wife and I don't give gifts to anyone but our kids, even though two are grown now. It took a ton of pressure off of us to get off that crazy train of shopping and wrapping and hoping that it's what the person wanted. This was a great video and countercultural to be sure!
I would embrace a no gift Christmas. I would so much rather celebrate the birth of jesus, breaking bread and quiet meals with family and friends, and a more relaxed, quiet, introspective season. There is just so much pressure to do all the gifts, the shopping, the abundance of presents and money spent. As I get older, the thought of a quiet , non rushed , hassle free holiday sounds blissful.
It really is a completely different vibe on the no gift years! I would encourage you to give it a try! ❤️
Same here but in our early 60’s we have adopted our granddaughter who will be 8 in January. We are starting all over and truly getting more enjoyment with her than our original children but at the same time we are homeschooling and raising her in Sunday school and in a strong Christian Faith. 🙌🏼. I plan to let this be her last Santa year then prepare her for a more meaningful celebration of Christ’s birth next year. She knows the true meaning this year, I just mean next year the true meaning will be our focus and not the commercialization of it.
As a mama of 9 and family of 11, we are doing things differently this year. I'm only doing 1 gift per child and a favorite snack or treat. I think after 17 years of family christmases I'm more aware of the waste that comes from Christmas.
I am focusing and changing our life to one more simple and free from chaos 😊
Wonderful! ❤️ merry Christmas to you and your family!
One gift and a favoirite snack! I love the simplicity!
I have asked both of my children what they look forward to during this season and neither of them mentioned gifts. One looks forward to the different kinds of foods that we share together and the other looks forward to putting up a live tree together. Their responses opened my eyes to the fact that it is usually adults who are worrying more about gifts than the children. Kids really, really want to spend time with their parents. Your Christmas day sounds wonderful!
That is very true! I think the responses of your kids would be echoed by many! Merry Christmas! ❤️
Yes one year, we didn't have the $ for gifts, i was a single mom. So we did a 'gift exchange', of some thing each of us liked or appreciated about of each other. My daughter used to borrow a top of mine to wear for special occasions. So I wrapped it up and gave it to her for her to own for special occasions. She was thrilled it now was hers. My son appreciated when his sister baked cookies, so she baked his favorite chocolate chip cookies, wrapped them up and put them under the tree. My church friends gave me 'hand me down' clothes for my children, that they really appreciated. But then the special occasion for us was volunteering at a different church, Christmas Eve day preparing a Christmas dinner feeding over 150 people, then going on Christmas Day to serve it! My children got a gift as did the other children there. What was best was we got to bring home leftover turkey and all the rest! As I couldn't afford to shop for a Christmas dinner, i couldn't afford food.
My church collected food for the needy and told us to take whatever I needed from the donations, weekly. Some ladies taught me how to make bread and gave me flour and yeast. We spent special time together christmas eve going to church, candle light service too! Hugging each other, playing games, listening to music, and having their friends drop in. ✝️🍪👍
Oh my son gave me a list of special chores he would do for me. He also made a Christmas ornament at school for me. I gave them a Christmas card, and in it my love and appreciation written all over it! Naming it explicitly!
What an absolutely beautiful and creative way to celebrate. You all clearly have a heart of service as well as all your other gifts.
Wow! What an incredible story! So thoughtful for everyone involved - and what could have been a ‘bad memory’ of a hard time, was turned into something beautiful! ❤️
@@ArrowHillCottage yes it was! A memory that was imbeded in our life! One that reminds us how God a d Jesus taught us to live.
@@ArrowHillCottage Bless you and your family this Christmas and always! Thank you for your teachings to live with minimal in our lives and surroundings!
I grew up with very minimal in my life as a child. I was very happy and appreciated all that I had. Never wanting for more. Very few clothes in my closet, 3 outfits for school, 3 dresses for church. One outer winter, apparel. 2 sets of winter hats, mitts. 4 sets of pants, or shorts, tops etc for playing in. My closet was not full. My clothes got exchanged as I grew out of them.
Today I still have some clothing from 10-15 years ago, my favourites 😍. Shoes, boots do get replaced. I also give to and shop at thrift stores for something different each year. Wear it awhile then give it back.
This year we cute way back...three gifts per child and for the grandmothers. It was a simple hour to wrap everything too which was nice. My husband and I only do stockings for each other.
I bet it feels great to already have everything prepared and ready! Not rushing around to buy things last minute! ❤️
Love it. I decided my gifts will be cooking and baking favorites of my family. To be thankful and grateful for what I have that I need. Listening and singing along with Christmas music and dancing. To give my time, and to play their favorate reindeer games. No stress, just the presence of your loved ones is present enough. Its the best!
An amazing gift of your time and talents wonderful! ❤️
Very proud of you. You're teaching your children the true meaning of Christmas. It would be nice if more people thought like you.....I'm on your side. Christmas has become too commercialized and the true meaning is lost with many people. 💪🏻🙏🏻
It was really eye opening to us when we were giving gifts that next year. It hadn’t really dawned on us until that point how commercialized even we had been accustomed to! It was kind of scary to be honest! Happy to now feel like we have some control on the situation at least! ❤️
Have a Merry Christmas and a Blessed New Year. Enjoy the moments and the memories.
Thank you so much! Merry Christmas to you and your family as well! ❤️
In the Netherlands it is not a tradition to give gifts, but there are more and more people who see gift giving around us and start doing it themselves. Our family does not and I have no intentions to start giving gifts. For us, that is not what Christmas is all about. We will be going to church on Christmas eve. We have 2 days on which we celebrate Christmas, the first day we will be at home, doing fun things as a family and the second day we will be visiting my mother. Great video and I think your family has created very fine and intentional traditions to celebrate the season. ❤ Merry Christmas to you and your beautiful family.
That is interesting to hear that gift giving isn’t typical in the Netherlands. I really think America has gone over the top with that concept! ❤️
My [divorced] son lives with me. We have his 2 daughters every other week. We have intentionally fallen into the tradition of celebrating Christmas Eve with the Girls. After all, Santa needs to start early if he’s going to make it around the world in 24 hours. 😉We get up and treat the day like it’s Christmas, complete with a nice dinner. Later, I go to Midnight Mass and have a very relaxing December 25th. It’s not traditional, but it works for us.
That sounds perfect! ❤️
My husband and I have never exchanged gifts at Christmas!
And you don’t resent each other for it either, right? Why people believe that you can only show love to one another through gifts is beyond me. ❤️
I enjoyed your plans, and believe we need to reset every so often. This year we didn’t have a tree, and only a handful of decorations. We were getting our home ready for selling, but medical issues has taken priority, even not having everyone around, which is quite stressful at the best of times! But in saying that, we really need to enjoy every moment and less busyness at this time. Next year maybe different, but I’m not going to stress about it!
It sounds like you have a lot on your plates right now! Simplifying the celebration is very wise this year! Merry Christmas! ❤️
My BEST Christmas as a teen was a no gift year with my family. Sparked by financial reasons, we opted instead to forego the gifts and w/o that pressure we shared memories and laughed and focused our attention on the blessings of Family and the birth of Christ. Now we are regenerating that again as my mom and I have very limited resources and my nieces and nephews are into adulthood. My friends have also agreed that the gift of friendship is more than enough, and all our stress levels are lower. When I taught PK, we did a secret friendship gift. They each picked a name and wrote 3 things they liked about that peer and 1 thing they could do together along with a picture. They wrapped up their gift and added candy. Every day of December we pulled out a gift, read it aloud, and exchanged thanks. We all loved it ❤ Sounds so like your sibling game it makes my heart smile. I love that you’re doing this so intentionally. What fabulous lifetime memories your family are creating ❤
So happy to hear that! I feel like these will be wonderful memories that our kids will be able to cherish for years to come! ❤️
@@ArrowHillCottage and hopefully they will relive those memories for generations and continue this legacy of love 💕
Sounds wonderful and fun and meaningful. We have a large extended family. There will be 29 of us this year. We all share in a pot blessing with all the traditional trimmings. As far as giving the adults one gift and do an open exchange. Lots of laughs as we play the game. Same with the teens. The aunt's and uncles give small gifts to the younger children.
One year I gave $10.00 to everyone with a small gift. The $10.00 was to be given to charity of their choice of the six charities list in envelopes. It was well received by adults and children alike.
Do you play the game where a person can ‘steal’ the gift from another? We have played that in the past and it is so fun! I really like your idea of gifting money to be applied toward charity. Very thoughtful! ❤️
Sounds perfect 👍🏼
We are really looking forward to it! ❤️
I think children put on a brave face for parents sometimes. It’s our responsibility as parents to make sure our children don’t feel our financial pressures or our mental loads. We have 12 months to prepare. When you tell your kids you have no money, they will of course put on a pretend brave face because they know you can’t afford it. Children love gifts and Santa and the magic of Christmas. I guess I just couldn’t imagine taking that away from my child because I didn’t financially plan correctly. Your children might not seem sad to you, but I’m sure they feel a bit hurt.
It took us 18 months to build our house - it was stressful and draining. The kids noticed. They love us, and realized right away that gifts, that first year, would be an additional stressor. You can assume that they were hurt or sad - but that is NOT what we witnessed! It was absolutely the best Christmas we have ever had together as a family! ❤️
We were all stressing about what to get each other for Christmas that we decided to give ourselves the gift of taking the pressure off and buying nothing. We'll just spend a bunch of time together, enjoy good food and laughs, and do some fun activities to make some special memories.
I promise you will not regret it!!! ❤️
Vid starts at 2:00
💖💖💖
Thanks for watching! ❤️
❤
Thanks for watching! ❤️
👋🏾;)😘😘😘😘😘😘😘🇫🇷
We are just doing 2 gifts per child this year.
And I’m sure you were quite thoughtful in your selection! ❤️
hey there! There are NO gifts this year just for our 2 boys that´s it! I hate spending money on crap and useless stuff!! I love minimalism and and living with less, less spending, less debt, less mess and so on and so forth! Happy holidays with good food and family.
I hope you have a wonderful, relaxing celebration together! ❤️
У нас в России чаще дарят подарки на Новый год, а не Рождество. Последние несколько лет я тоже отказалась от подарков для всех, дарю только детям небольшую сумму денег чтобы купили себе сладостей. Очень стало экономить бюджет, а то родственников много, а ерунду дарить не хочу.
Great idea! I’m sure the children appreciate the tread money! ❤️
I love the whole idea
Thank you! It works great for our family! ❤️
No gift Christmas for first time this year. I always stressing about gifts for the adult children who generally do not have needs and they know that I am trying to minimize our “stuff”. Gifting money seemed so generic and lame on my part but they also do not need useless items. For once I am excited about Christmas!
Yes!! Excited for you and this new chapter! ❤️
My family we never exchange gifts
It must work well for you! ❤️
I love this idea! Great video
Thanks so much! ❤️
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤
Thanks for watching! ❤️
Beautiful!! I’ve really been struggling with whether or not the whole gift giving / Santa thing is sacrilegious!!! I can’t stand that by allowing our little girl to believe in Santa that we are in essence teaching her sometimes it’s “ok” to lie! 😩😩😩. Her birthday is a couple of weeks after Christmas so I think we could more easily transition to a no gift Christmas because she will still have her own birthday coming soon after. This year, we have done it up fairly big again and I’m exhausted and wanting to kick myself. 😢 Thank you for the encouragement and wonderful ideas for hopefully next year for us! God bless you and your family and Merry Christmas! 🙏🙌🏼🎄
I’m sure you will find the perfect balance for your family! Merry Christmas! ❤️
I would love to do this. I think the year on/year off routine you have strikes a great balance. But I know I personally would always prefer the years off. Even as a child I was always overwhelmed by gifts at Christmas. Very grateful, but still very overwhelmed. I crave(d) traditions and quality time with my family over gifts. And you are right - for some reason it is hard to focus properly on ANY of the other love languages when gift giving is involved.
I had the same feeling as you did as a child with gifts - overwhelmed! Everyone looking at you, and then if you didn’t really care for the gift having to make it look like you did. Ha ha! ❤️
ty for your good thoughtful words, I like modesty and a good bit of humility- it's interesting what you said about the gift-giving years- how the gift-giving seems to blanket the experience- I suppose it could be like the difference between shopping at a store together or going on a walk on a trail in the woods together certainly different things are going to be experienced and shared- what's felt and exchanged on a nice walk will not be experienced while shopping and buying EVER! Is homeschooling on recessed for the holidays?! 🌤🌈🌟🌠
Great analogy - And so much truth! The experiences will be very different indeed! For homeschooling at the moment we are doing a Christmas unit study - but will take the week of Christmas, into the New Year, off for a relaxing break! ❤️❄️❤️
How do your kids feel when they return to school and other kids are talking about the gifts they received? Have they ever experienced sadness about not getting gifts? Or ever embarrassed about doing Christmas the Arrow Hill Cottage Way? (I would love to try to do your no gift Christmas idea with my family... but my kids are 14 and 10 and 4 months. )
When other kids ask ‘what did you get?’ They say something along the lines of ‘the entire day with my family doing fun things together. We went sledding, baked cookies, watched a movie, etc. etc.’ It has not been embarrassing for them at all. By the way- that was one of my worries when we opted to do this the first year…and now looking back I can see how silly it is. Imagine adults standing around comparing salaries or the things they buy. I suppose in some regards they do when trying to ‘keep up with the Jones’s’ - but…kids being worried about comparing with other kids can set in motion a lifetime of feeling inadequate. Someone will ALWAYS have more….always. ❤️
It's wonderful that you're going against the grain of our society and the commercialization of Christmas. Thanks for speaking out and showing us that it can be done.
Yes- we definitely want to teach our kids that it’s ok to not put such an emphasis on gifts and all the material things. ❤️
What a beautiful way to celebrate jesus and his birth your children will love every min and realize when there oldr and talk to friends about this tradition how very special there parents are God bless you and all your family Merry Christmas 🎄
Thank you! Merry Christmas to you as well! ❤️
One thing that I have really enjoyed doing this year was our scavenger hunt advent calendar that I made. All of the gifts were either books that I had from when I was teaching or a Hershey kiss for each kid. They have absolutely loved it and figuring out the clues has been a lot of fun!
Ooooh! That sounds like a fun idea! ❤️
Awesome concepts! Have a Blessed Christmas!
Thank you! Blessed Christmas to you as well! ❤️
I think I’m doing ok despite the toxic challenges of the season. Hah. My deadline is Jan 1. 😅😅 (When all the so called enthusiasts drop the holiday like a hot potato and forget all about it. So fickle. Claiming it’s so “special” but it’s clear to me that it’s not as special to them as they make it out to be during the season. To me it’s rather like some shallow infatuation people have and then after they move on so fast. I also wonder if I’m the only one who notices such things. Lol). I wonder if they ever think about how maybe Father Christmas doesn’t really like being put on the shelf 11 months out of the year and then paraded around like a trophy for a month with everyone claiming to have such great devotion to him. Like if it’s really just a fling, get real about that. Don’t call just a seasonal fling “true love.” Lol. Well anyways. It’s just one part of why I think “Bah humbug 🙄” is often an appropriate sentiment. Or grumpy cat “Ho Ho NO.” Lol.
The big future in law dinner went well. They brought the whole crew. Parents, aunt, sister. Lol. Strangely my mother backed off. (Playing nice. What is she up to now, I wonder? Lol. I want to say outright something like “Don’t think we’re friends now. Why are you always trying to compete with me? Why envy your own daughter like that? What are you? 13? But most of the time I just don’t say it). I wound up spending about half an hour at their house with them. On my game tho. Detected in that short span one “joke” aka insult/put down at my expense (From the “step father” which was as easy as swatting a fly-I got facetious about it like I often do lol) and a reference to my kid having a “room” at their place (which is like a bad memory for me when they basically hijacked my kid all through high school-things I don’t usually tell folks Bcuz they tend to wonder how bad I was that my kid moves in with them….although it wasn’t like that at all. I was just brainwashed back then when I believed maybe he’d be better off with them and not me. It’s not like I couldn’t see my kid but it was like I had to take their abuse with it and there was at least some low level parental estrangement for me. My “crime” was being “poor” and having the single mom struggle and battling bouts of depression. If that was legit cause to take a kid from their mom’s home, then a ton of moms wouldn’t have their kids under their own roof anymore. And the outrage is that they were the main cause of my emotional disturbances and at least the partial cause of my poverty. So I mean that’s what’s coming up now for me. New and deeper realizations about that. So this really is just me taking back what belongs to me. Better late than never). Anyways. I gave her a look to kill and she started backpedaling about oh he had a room with his mom too etc. So you know. I’m just saying. Evidence. And this is only a casual 1/2 hour around them. Always I wind up thinking why did I even go? But the dinner was all mine. Selfish or not, I think it’s my right anyways.
Well thanks again for bearing with me. I guess for me that was it. Already over. It’ll be another long distance Christmas which will be easy compared to all of that. Lol. For me I want to get a deal on an ideal new tree after. I haven’t had a “green” one in a long time. I want one of those fluffy cashmere trees with the fake white snow and built in white lights.
My latest new personal thing was cooking a 17lb Turkey that I got after Thxgiv for .99/lb. It was my first time cooking a big bird like that. What a fiasco trying to inject the bird. Such a mess. We shall see tho. 😅😅 Today is when we cut and eat on some of it. And I’m thinking that for me next time a smaller bird and just make the juice a kind of separate add on for the meat. As the only goal was not bland and not too dry. Lol.
What I think of your plans. Lol. (Which ya know doesn’t really matter. It’s not my life lol). But yah. I admire your courage to not just be stuck in some traditional program that has no real meaning to you. Or that even goes against your values. That I can def relate to. We should not be ashamed to be what we wanna be. Others should be ashamed for trying to make us be some kind of way (or be told we are weird or wrong Bcuz we refuse etc) that isn’t true to ourselves or our own hearts.
I’m just going to give my two young cousins gift cards and a little something for my fave cousin and her hubs (their parents). But visiting them all is my main thing, as they are my REAL fam that I can trust. My adult kid (if he can ever figure out what he wants lol) and his gf. A few little small trinkets for my two female tenants. That’s about it. Might decorate. Might not. Lol. One year my son wanted to do the genealogy thing and that was fun. I may gift myself that this year. Find out my own DNA profile. Lol.
Happy to hear that the dinner together went ‘mostly’ ok! And that you were able to participate for just as much as you wanted to. Crazy price on the turkey you bought. Wowza! Apparently post holiday is when the real savings can be made!
We are looking forward to a week off of school and other responsibilities- but I have a feeling the grocery expenses during that time will be insane!
I hope you can have a happy, intentional holiday - whether with decorations or not. ❤️
@@ArrowHillCottage Aw thank you. Yeah. I mean ugh. The things I should’ve done a lot sooner. But better late than never. Lol.
It was Aldi day after thanksgiving. Lol. Well idk. Maybe God gives me these weird “talents” to make up for the other stuff that wasn’t so good (like “deal sniffer” lol). Well I mean the main thing is you get to eat good food and be with the ones you love. A deal on stuff and food would be some yummy icing tho. Lol. But I think that’s the ironic thing about it. Finding joy in that ya know. Little things just making my day like that. Lol. (Except the Turkey was big lol). It was a new experience for me. A big one like that and “injecting” it. 😂😂 (what a clumsy mess that was lol). Turns out I might have some cooking skills I never knew I had. Lol. But that’s what it’s all about to me for now tho. Trying new things. Learning. Etc. Sad I can’t enjoy stuff like that with my “mother” (there would be envy and she would poop on my skills) but still happy it’s there and happy trumps sad now. And whatever eh? Poor thing. She’s really missing out ya know. I personally think that “wealth” should not be measured in dollars and cents. I think it should be measured in contentment levels. Lol. Them going around showing off their new Tesla. Lol. And all I got is this Turkey deal. Oh well. I still think I’m better off than them. Ha ha.
And I’m not sure people even know the magnitude of what enjoying a simple dinner without having to “be on guard” or keep “checking my perimeter.” Or shrink yourself by default or unconsciously revert back to a child or robot state. It’s just the kind of relaxation and freedom I needed. Lol. I said I needed cheese for my eggs. Lol. Room for my legs. As some say…don’t be afraid to take up space. Grateful for that Bcuz it’s not always a given. I did sit in the car for a sec with my kid and said should I even go in or not? Lol. And he was like well it’s up to you. I don’t always get “attacked” but there is always a risk of it happening. And it doesn’t always get to me, but sometimes it does.
This is a curated rather than a chaotic Christmas in 2023. Putting Advent candles in the window (2 for now, will add as Advent 3 and 4 arrive.) Donating to a charity in the names of family members - this year it is Undies for Everyone. For friends it is donating to Doctors Without Borders. Planning to sing The Messiah along with a professional choir. First time owning the score! Today is a new moon so it is a good time for setting an intention for the rest of Advent and Christmastide. Prioritizing sleep, turning off devices for the evening at supper time, eating with no distractions, and revisiting the “O Antiphons” which are beautiful recognitions of the season’s attributes. Doing a bookstore crawl with friends just to see what is out there.. may or may not purchase anything!
I love the advent candle idea! And I agree…a curated approach really helps to blot out the chaos! ❤️
Thank you Angela for your always out-of-the-box inputs! 🤍
You’re welcome! Thanks for watching! ❤️