This is what gets me about some of the 'but i disagree!' comments. It's a little rich to say 'I have more important things to care about' when...you commissioned a style consultant to help you with your looks?
I needed this, I'm 41 and have WASTED so many years trying to be the "not like the other girls/ tomboy/ cool girl" when my truth is I envied the "glamour girls". everything you said hit deep. Time to change.
Doing my hair makes me feel good. Better than choosing my outfit or doing my makeup even. Misogyny has really made us believe that spending time on our appearance is wasteful, when our bodies have to exist in this world, which in turn affects how we feel and how others see us. It’s not something that you can just tell yourself to ‘get over’ either. We care because we are human and it even directly impacts our survival. It’s in our nature. I would even go as far to say that it changes your attitude in regards to life for the better. We are part physical beings and we should embrace that fact.
I didn’t take this as tough love: I took it as permission and validation. Thank you so much. I have significant chronic illness which really limits my energy each day. I’ve always felt guilty if I use some of that precious energy on my appearance but it does matter to me. Thank you for this. 💖
You hit the nail on the head! So many things are like this in life. (No time to sleep, exercise, ect yet those are the groundwork for feeling good and productive!) I dont fit my clothes well at all right now bc i gained pregnancy weight, bought some larger clothes, lost that weight but don't fit in my old pants, can't afford to keep buying clothes that don't work out. So i end up feeling pretty shabby a lot of the time. And you're right i feel worse, think about it more, and I'm not as confident. I don't want my baby girl to grow up and think about herself the way i do about myself. I've gone back through many of your old videos for inspiration/ instructions. (Soft beveled, cool/neutral muted). Your approach to color/ body type has been the only one that really clicks for me. Thank you for the encouragement in this video ❤
As a mom, I can 100% say I have become a better mom since I started taking time to fill up my own cup. I am blessed with naturally curly hair that I can just wash and go with. I will spend the time diffusing and all when I know I will want to have a more polished look, and it is always worth the time. Children learn by example that self care is important.
Exactly right, I always put my kids first; there are 5 of them. I get up, get them off to school, then focus on myself in the time I have spare before I leave for work or go about my house work, but it’s so worth it. I take them to school hiding behind my sunglasses, but by the time I pick them up, I am a different woman. And the best thing in the world is when your own kids say “you look nice today mum” I appreciate that more than when a stranger says it. You have to love yourself in order to be the best version of yourself. Disclaimer: this is my opinion only and in relation to myself 😊
This is so real for me. I realized if I’m struggling with my hair for whatever reason, I can invest in my mental health by just paying someone else to wash and blow dry it for me. I understand that’s a HUGE privilege. It changed everything!!
I struggle with mental illness and health issues and my hair overwhelms me so I wear wigs when I want to look good, and it makes me feel so much better and less insecure. One time when i was out someone mocked my hair and how it looked. My hair was tangled and I couldn't afford to get it detangled and styled. Even now i cant afford professionals but i do what i can to look presentable. Thanks for this message. We really can suffer a lot in our heads and never take action
@@pelephant2024 it still doesn't mean you can just go and say something like that to a total stranger. Just keep your opinion to yourself. What that person accomplished was just ruining someones day for no reason
Speaking of hair, I have actually always thought your old parting style suited you best Merriam! Your hairstyles in old videos looked so good on your face
Doing something about your problems really is great life advice in general. Feeling like crap really is a waste of time if you can help it, and especially in that case, it affects us in several ways. Great hair on you btw!
I don't do my hair because it's so thick it takes over an hour to dry with a hair dryer, over an hour to curl, to do almost anything with it. I exercise every day and I'm a sweaty person and I don't have the time to do this every day. It takes over half an hour to deal with in the shower, just to wash and detangle(it's really thick and curly), and still have to do styling after the shower. In the summer, the humidity is so high, anything I do with it will be undone and it turns into frizz. I wear it long so the weight of it can tame it a bit, otherwise I have exactly one nice hairstyle with it "up" that I can do in a short amount of time and it looks decent.
I've been regularly and consistently doing my hair since mid-2020. It really has made a difference in how I feel and how others see me. Doing color typing with you has been a game changer - I receive a lot of compliments, smiles, kind gestures, etc. I feel good every day, and these experiences motivate me to do better, and I feel more confident.
It's funny, isn't it? If you watch any old school videos on looking presentable, they talk about the importance of the hair and that you need to style it in order to go in public. We went little backwards now that we've become veer comfortable with not putting effort before going outside
There's quite a few low maintenance haircuts, if someone doesn't want to spend much time doing their hair, a well taken care of, well thought out basic cut will do. It gives a fancy causual vibe for the everyday stuff, and can be styled by a professional in a hair salon on special occasions, to up your game. As for being a mother, it should be part of the basic hygiene routine, a part of your children education. No needs to take hours everyday, but still part of the looking presentable routine.
@@spacebar9733 If it was me, I would go buzzcut for the lower half and as long as it can grow but still be manageable on the upper part. The buzzcut part makes it look intentional and makes the upper part looks longer in comparaison. But it may not suits every body type...
Wow, fantastic thoughts here. I love that you tell people what we NEED to hear, and with such a melodious voice. You are one of the few young American women whose voice is a pleasure to hear. On hair: When I was taking care of my mother who was in my home on hospice, there were many unbelievable days. She had dementia and COPD. For those who don't know what dementia is like, I am not talking about forgetting car keys or calling me by her sister's name. I am talking about dealing with a psychotic, argumentative, incontinent, destructive, vitriolic person who is also delicate and fragile, all 88 pounds of her, deathly ill, and who is your mother. Literally a nightmare. The point is...through all this misery, through all the 24 hour round the clock care, two things held me together: prayer and hair. Funny that they almost rhyme. Constant prayer, and every single night setting my hair in one of those robe curler dealies. I seriously could not leave the house because of her and of course no hair appointments, so my hair got longer and longer and after a year I realized, hey I am almost sixty and my hair is waist length. It's naturally very wavy and wild, but the robe curler contraption took about two minutes a day and gave me MERMAID hair every day. Doing my hair every night meant that through all the misery, the mess, the sheer agony that was my life for a year and a half, my HAIR LOOKED BEAUTIFUL. Like a mermaid Barbie because it happens also to be blonde, dark blonde. No, it's not superficial. It gave me a good thing in my world every day. If your days are spent changing adult diapers and stripping beds two or three times a day, and your nights are spent hearing your mother scream, you need a good thing. Now my hair is long and wavy. Part of me says I should cut it because of my age. But. No. Having super long wavy hair takes me back psychologically to when I was a kid, and somehow it makes me feel more like my real self than the sensible bob I had all the years I taught ever did. The prayer worked, too, mirabile dictu, my mother had a rally (dementia patients near death often experience a week or two of lucidity, very weird) and accepted Baptism twelve hours before she died. Praise God.
This is honestly so real. When I wasn’t doing my hair I was going through a hard time in my life. But my hair is long so I was just putting it in a bun.
You are so right. Unfortunately many people do actually have more pressing concerns than doing their hair. They are struggling to simply get out of bed every day. (Writing an email from bed is easier than getting up and doing your hair.) Maybe you should make a video of super simply hairstyles that always look put together, for people with autoimmune disorders. I cut my hair shoulder length and wear it in a low, short ponytail every single day because that's the best I can do. I wash it once a week, it takes 60 seconds to brush and it looks great.
Taking care of how we look should always come from the right place. If anyone is too sick to do it, it wouldn't be very self loving to force themselves. I'm talking about people who deny to themselves how important it is to them.
@@merriamstyle I get it. If it's simply someone saying they don't have time but then they complain about how they look, that's different. It's pretty easy for most of us to be in denial about things like this. 😂
I’m with her on that with the hair. I have very thick, wavy almost waist length highlighted and color treated hair that is fine textured and tangles easily. Oily roots on top of that. And no, not washing it doesn’t normalize the oil. Dry shampoo is a lifesaver when you’re just too darned tired. Went three weeks without a wash when I got Covid, and had to get a special stripping shampoo from the salon to get it clean. It’s a workout to wash, detangle, blowout and flatiron it in the best of times. Keratin treatments make it easier but very expensive ($400)
After some introspection, I realized that I’d been suppressing my own desire to want to dress up. This topic revealed what I’d been feeling all along but I had rejected it out of a belief that I shouldn’t do these things because it was “shallow.” Now I’ve given myself permission to. I agree, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, and it doesn’t make you shallow. Beauty and style are forms of self expression. It is an extension of who you are and your personality, more than skin-deep. I also want to take a moment to say sorry for my behavior, it was uncalled for, and for misunderstanding. With all that said, thank you for this video.
I love listening to your perspective. ❤ I did have you color type me and I want to get the body typing as well. It’s important, and not frivolous to want to look your best at any age! 69 years old and looking fabulous!
I ran some studies, imaginary studies” 😂💕 yes I started prioritizing my hair and nails looking nice and doing 5 minute make up routine daily - it has helped my self esteem so much.
You're absolutely right. Doing my hair really gives me boost. As a Romantic I look great in curls and I discovered that my minimum effort pin curls give me better results than any modern style that takes too much time, damages hair and frankly I don't have skills to make it. So in my case it was either a ponytail that makes me look dowdy or curls that I get complemented on and make me feel feminine.
Here in France, we dont do our hair. We do our skin, our clothes , but not our hair, hair is natural. We like it effortless, not blow dried and styled like the run way.
Update: this message got me to try again to sort out my unending hair problems. Thought out and got some new hair products. Success! Best hair of my adult life!
Thank you for this. I've been postponing dying my hair for weeks, despite getting mad at my greys every time I passed by a mirror. Now I'll go buy a couple box kits and replace my broken cosmetic mirror!
This could be me. I don't ever do my hair but i do like style in general. For me it's more that i seriously don't even know what to do with it than that I refuse or believe I shouldn't have to. I never grew up in the habit of it. No one ever taught me how. Whenever I've tried I've failed - styling products made my hair tacky and sticky. Straightening makes it even flatter. Curls often don't hold and it takes so much time. I also have a chronic illness which takes it's toll on my hair - my hair is extremely fine. So i feel gross about my hair permanently 🙃 It is a point of self consciousness. I wear wigs for photos sometimes but i feel self conscious wearing wigs out in public. I know this video is truthful and it's inspired me to look up some videos on hairstyling. I'm sick of it dragging me down.
Anything I think I “want” but can’t bring myself to actually act on is proof to me that I don’t really want it - so I just resolve to get over it and decide it doesn’t matter to me. We don’t have to have societies priorities if we hear all the reasons people give, and they aren’t motivating enough just let it go.
Omg ! I was just thinking this! I am 51 and I am not attractive like I was when I was younger and I think why bother it won’t make a difference and my hair is thinner and hard to manage but I know what you are saying is true…I have not run across a subject like this before🙏🏼this was perfect timing!
Oh my god, I am this girl who wrote the email, except I didn't write it, but I do write it in my head everyday (cry wink lol). Thankfully I can now write Merriam's advice into my head :)
People have no idea how much POWER hair has. Even with men… they go into a salon very average and come out quite attractive. It’s so important. One of the most important parts of looking good! In my finishing school there was a HUGE emphasis on how important HAIR is. I remember even being in an office and talking to one of my supervisors and she had a dress and makeup on but a messy bun and I just remember thinking how unprofessional she looked and how the hair completely disregarded the WHOLE look! JUST DO YOU HAIR.
this is so true. I resisted doing my hair for years because I wanted it to be "low maintenance". I often disliked how it looked and would preen and touch and adjust it all day. Now I take the time to style it after every wash, the style lasts for days and I love that my hair just looks good every day without me having to think about it!
HA the title is already flooring me! I am sharpened soft and without lusciously large shapes in my hair (if I wear it straight or crinkled) I look like a wet dog.
For those that are minimalists, there are plenty of easy care hair styles that one can get. It's important to know your style and what one is willing to do to keep up with personal appearances.
I understand what you’re saying. If you have curly hair like me then it’s not easy to style. If I brush it comb it I’ll just have frizz. But sometimes do a slight smooth or derangers. After washing I just towel dry and give it a scrunch. It’s been many years since I blow dried my hair. Depending on what it’s doing on the day but I often just twist it up and into a bun or in lot a ponytail, especially on hot days. Usually only takes a couple of minutes to do my hair.
Please can you do a comparison video of a blended top vs a naturap top. Sometimes you recommend a button down shirt for blended that (to me) looks quite flowy. A comparison would be super helpful, thanks!
The world judges us based on our physical appearance, this fact will never change because it’s just how people are. Pretty privilege is real and it’s never going away, it’s part of life, so we should do our best to look our best. When on a dating site, the first thing that attracts someone to another is the photo, not the long bio they wrote. When you look well groomed the world treats you better, you get doors opened for you, both literally and figuratively. Physical appearance matters. Our hair is our naturally built in accessory, it can make or break our look. I’ve seen some people well dressed but their hair is a frizzy mess, they spend money on designer hand bags or silk shirts but not money on hair treatments 😆 the most simple style hack is to do your hair!
I don't like doing my hair lol my hair is long and fairly thin. I like to brush it out and focus on getting it healthy but I don't use any product in my hair aside from aloe and jojoba for moisture and smooth follicles. I've also been focusing on my skin. I look forward to my little facial after a shower. No make up. I braid my hair and put it in a top knot.
I'm a guy with medium length hair and I always blow dry it, even if I leave it curly wavy I'll always use a diffuser and hair dryer. I don't care that people will stare and laugh and say I have blow dried hair, I HATE to have air dried frizzy limp crap hair
I think we would feel better about spending time putting on make up, doing our hair or whatever if it was considered as a hobby. I still feel a little embarrassed comparing my passion for make up to reading or drawing. Mamy people consider these as passions, but society just make us feel ashamed about it for no reason at all
As someone who swims 5x a week (with a lot of hair) I appreciate a good haircut, and well maintained hair care routine. For me “doing my hair” mean I slap a baseball cap onto my wet hair and let is air dry. 😅
I love my natural hair, it suits me the best!!! What I struggle with is traction alopecia - completely my fault. But I don't think it's worth going trough the risk and the cost of a hair transplant :( I wish there were alternative solutions.
What about those whose sf esteem has taken knock because of the lack thereoef of hair. Wigs just don’t do it when compared to natural hair and how it flows
Here's a thing, if you spend time doing your hair, you become more and more proficient at doing it over time, because you figure out what works and what doesn't work, you found the "art" the way of doing it efficiently, and the more experience and skills you'll gain from doing your hair, if you spend time to actually not just hair but also applicable to everything, you're experimenting it.
Nah, short hair takes so much effort to make it look nice. I have good hair even if it's simply clean when it's waist length as it's wavy enough to look done. But made the mistake to cut it short and I never had a low effort nice hair day.
I'm not a native speaker, what do you guys mean when you say DO hair? It's like saying "do skin!" Am i supposed to be curling it or ironing it or making buns and braids or doing haircare? Do you guys really do that every day? I heard that you should not use heat every day so if thats true i can't curl or straighten it daily so what exactly am i supposed to be doing when I'm "doing hair"?? Of course I wash and brush my hair but i dont think thats what you mean by doing hair. I come from a culture where we dont even have a concept of "wash and go" hair since that's so normal...
I think it's basically: take care of the condition of your hair and put some effort into styling it. For me personally I found that curls work best for my body type. I could get a perm or use heat, but I don't want to damage my hair. I opted for heatless pin curls that I sleep in and in the morning it takes me literally 2 minutes to brush my hair and I'm ready to go. Sometimes I use one clip on a side to make it more fancy. I am not skilled, I prioritise my comfort and that's what I discovered works for me. You may have a different style that looks great on you and if you figure out how to do it efficiently you may surprise yourself. What's your body type? Sometimes it's just a question of for example "should my bun be messy, or sleek?" For some people a ponytail will look put together if they adhere to some principles for body type.
I watch you on my phone at full volume but its never loud enough. Its not yoyr soft voice, its just the volume. Other channels i can put my phone down and hear it from several feet away just fine.
I would like to "do" my hair and I do at least brush it but I have autistic hypersensitivity and I really hate the feeling of putting clips and stuff in it. Any tips?
I love your videos! You are so great! Haven't heard your perspective. Have you thought about parting your hair on the side? Middle parts are most of the time making peoples faces look more harsh because it forces the brain to look at imperfections. Anyway just a thought how ever you feel more comfortable with yourself! ❤
@@christinec2625 It was not meant condescendingly. This is literally a channel where she takes pictures of celebrities and talks about what looks good and what doesn't. She is a big girl she can take it. If you get your feelings easily hurt mabey this isn't the channel for you.
I am not irritated by “ok”, she might be just using that as a connection between the sentences and that gives her time to think what to say next. I think we all have words that we overuse, sometimes, especially if when nervous giving a speech and being recorded. I don’t think she means to talk down to anybody. At least I never felt this way.❤
Thank you for this ❤ you inspired me to create a feelgood/ self care playlist to remind myself that is it important to look after myself 🫶 I've struggled with many of the things you mentioned basically all my life so this was really a good wakeup call
“I want to look put together, but I don’t want to do my hair” is akin to “I want to be healthy, but I don’t want to take care of my body” 🤷🏼♀️
True :(
This is what gets me about some of the 'but i disagree!' comments. It's a little rich to say 'I have more important things to care about' when...you commissioned a style consultant to help you with your looks?
I needed this, I'm 41 and have WASTED so many years trying to be the "not like the other girls/ tomboy/ cool girl" when my truth is I envied the "glamour girls". everything you said hit deep. Time to change.
Doing my hair makes me feel good. Better than choosing my outfit or doing my makeup even.
Misogyny has really made us believe that spending time on our appearance is wasteful, when our bodies have to exist in this world, which in turn affects how we feel and how others see us. It’s not something that you can just tell yourself to ‘get over’ either. We care because we are human and it even directly impacts our survival. It’s in our nature. I would even go as far to say that it changes your attitude in regards to life for the better. We are part physical beings and we should embrace that fact.
I didn’t take this as tough love: I took it as permission and validation. Thank you so much. I have significant chronic illness which really limits my energy each day. I’ve always felt guilty if I use some of that precious energy on my appearance but it does matter to me. Thank you for this. 💖
You hit the nail on the head! So many things are like this in life. (No time to sleep, exercise, ect yet those are the groundwork for feeling good and productive!) I dont fit my clothes well at all right now bc i gained pregnancy weight, bought some larger clothes, lost that weight but don't fit in my old pants, can't afford to keep buying clothes that don't work out. So i end up feeling pretty shabby a lot of the time. And you're right i feel worse, think about it more, and I'm not as confident. I don't want my baby girl to grow up and think about herself the way i do about myself. I've gone back through many of your old videos for inspiration/ instructions. (Soft beveled, cool/neutral muted). Your approach to color/ body type has been the only one that really clicks for me. Thank you for the encouragement in this video ❤
As a mom, I can 100% say I have become a better mom since I started taking time to fill up my own cup. I am blessed with naturally curly hair that I can just wash and go with. I will spend the time diffusing and all when I know I will want to have a more polished look, and it is always worth the time. Children learn by example that self care is important.
Exactly right, I always put my kids first; there are 5 of them. I get up, get them off to school, then focus on myself in the time I have spare before I leave for work or go about my house work, but it’s so worth it. I take them to school hiding behind my sunglasses, but by the time I pick them up, I am a different woman. And the best thing in the world is when your own kids say “you look nice today mum” I appreciate that more than when a stranger says it. You have to love yourself in order to be the best version of yourself. Disclaimer: this is my opinion only and in relation to myself 😊
This is so real for me. I realized if I’m struggling with my hair for whatever reason, I can invest in my mental health by just paying someone else to wash and blow dry it for me. I understand that’s a HUGE privilege. It changed everything!!
you're like an older sister giving us the stern, loving advice we need!
I struggle with mental illness and health issues and my hair overwhelms me so I wear wigs when I want to look good, and it makes me feel so much better and less insecure. One time when i was out someone mocked my hair and how it looked. My hair was tangled and I couldn't afford to get it detangled and styled. Even now i cant afford professionals but i do what i can to look presentable. Thanks for this message. We really can suffer a lot in our heads and never take action
There is no "we", speak of yourself
Damn that person being mean to you was being an ass. Wtf
@@sonder2874 Facts aren't "mean"
@@pelephant2024 it still doesn't mean you can just go and say something like that to a total stranger. Just keep your opinion to yourself. What that person accomplished was just ruining someones day for no reason
@pinkopallinu9084 Facts are true or false the way you spoke to that stranger was mean ₍ᐢ. .ᐢ₎⋆⭒˚.⋆
Speaking of hair, I have actually always thought your old parting style suited you best Merriam! Your hairstyles in old videos looked so good on your face
Doing something about your problems really is great life advice in general. Feeling like crap really is a waste of time if you can help it, and especially in that case, it affects us in several ways. Great hair on you btw!
I don't do my hair because it's so thick it takes over an hour to dry with a hair dryer, over an hour to curl, to do almost anything with it. I exercise every day and I'm a sweaty person and I don't have the time to do this every day. It takes over half an hour to deal with in the shower, just to wash and detangle(it's really thick and curly), and still have to do styling after the shower. In the summer, the humidity is so high, anything I do with it will be undone and it turns into frizz. I wear it long so the weight of it can tame it a bit, otherwise I have exactly one nice hairstyle with it "up" that I can do in a short amount of time and it looks decent.
I've been regularly and consistently doing my hair since mid-2020. It really has made a difference in how I feel and how others see me. Doing color typing with you has been a game changer - I receive a lot of compliments, smiles, kind gestures, etc. I feel good every day, and these experiences motivate me to do better, and I feel more confident.
If there's one thing that makes me feel amazing, it's getting my hair done. Time spent getting ready and presentable is never wasted. Great video!! 💯
This is a great tough love peptalk. I'll sign up for any imaginary study at imaginary Merriam University. I wish I'd heard it when my kids were young.
Saw Dolly Parton being interviewed on BBC breakfast TV. The female presenter was mocking her about the amount of time she'd taken to get ready.
It's funny, isn't it? If you watch any old school videos on looking presentable, they talk about the importance of the hair and that you need to style it in order to go in public. We went little backwards now that we've become veer comfortable with not putting effort before going outside
There's quite a few low maintenance haircuts, if someone doesn't want to spend much time doing their hair, a well taken care of, well thought out basic cut will do. It gives a fancy causual vibe for the everyday stuff, and can be styled by a professional in a hair salon on special occasions, to up your game. As for being a mother, it should be part of the basic hygiene routine, a part of your children education. No needs to take hours everyday, but still part of the looking presentable routine.
If you have very curly hair it’s not an option unless you have a buzzcut
Edit: I guess there are “protective” styles too for some
@@spacebar9733 If it was me, I would go buzzcut for the lower half and as long as it can grow but still be manageable on the upper part.
The buzzcut part makes it look intentional and makes the upper part looks longer in comparaison.
But it may not suits every body type...
Wow, fantastic thoughts here. I love that you tell people what we NEED to hear, and with such a melodious voice. You are one of the few young American women whose voice is a pleasure to hear.
On hair: When I was taking care of my mother who was in my home on hospice, there were many unbelievable days. She had dementia and COPD. For those who don't know what dementia is like, I am not talking about forgetting car keys or calling me by her sister's name. I am talking about dealing with a psychotic, argumentative, incontinent, destructive, vitriolic person who is also delicate and fragile, all 88 pounds of her, deathly ill, and who is your mother. Literally a nightmare. The point is...through all this misery, through all the 24 hour round the clock care, two things held me together: prayer and hair. Funny that they almost rhyme. Constant prayer, and every single night setting my hair in one of those robe curler dealies. I seriously could not leave the house because of her and of course no hair appointments, so my hair got longer and longer and after a year I realized, hey I am almost sixty and my hair is waist length. It's naturally very wavy and wild, but the robe curler contraption took about two minutes a day and gave me MERMAID hair every day. Doing my hair every night meant that through all the misery, the mess, the sheer agony that was my life for a year and a half, my HAIR LOOKED BEAUTIFUL. Like a mermaid Barbie because it happens also to be blonde, dark blonde. No, it's not superficial. It gave me a good thing in my world every day. If your days are spent changing adult diapers and stripping beds two or three times a day, and your nights are spent hearing your mother scream, you need a good thing.
Now my hair is long and wavy. Part of me says I should cut it because of my age. But. No. Having super long wavy hair takes me back psychologically to when I was a kid, and somehow it makes me feel more like my real self than the sensible bob I had all the years I taught ever did.
The prayer worked, too, mirabile dictu, my mother had a rally (dementia patients near death often experience a week or two of lucidity, very weird) and accepted Baptism twelve hours before she died. Praise God.
This is honestly so real.
When I wasn’t doing my hair I was going through a hard time in my life. But my hair is long so I was just putting it in a bun.
You are so right. Unfortunately many people do actually have more pressing concerns than doing their hair. They are struggling to simply get out of bed every day. (Writing an email from bed is easier than getting up and doing your hair.) Maybe you should make a video of super simply hairstyles that always look put together, for people with autoimmune disorders. I cut my hair shoulder length and wear it in a low, short ponytail every single day because that's the best I can do. I wash it once a week, it takes 60 seconds to brush and it looks great.
Taking care of how we look should always come from the right place. If anyone is too sick to do it, it wouldn't be very self loving to force themselves. I'm talking about people who deny to themselves how important it is to them.
@@merriamstyle I get it. If it's simply someone saying they don't have time but then they complain about how they look, that's different. It's pretty easy for most of us to be in denial about things like this. 😂
@@wildeevolutionOn some level, if someone says that, there's probably something else preventing them from doing it.
@@alicequinn505 That’s the trick, to stop and look at the real reasons we do what we do.
This also applies to a lot of other things like cleaning!!
You're amazing! I'm a mom and REALLY needed to hear this.
I just love these recent videos. I love your no nonsense/tough love professional input.
I’m with her on that with the hair. I have very thick, wavy almost waist length highlighted and color treated hair that is fine textured and tangles easily. Oily roots on top of that. And no, not washing it doesn’t normalize the oil. Dry shampoo is a lifesaver when you’re just too darned tired. Went three weeks without a wash when I got Covid, and had to get a special stripping shampoo from the salon to get it clean. It’s a workout to wash, detangle, blowout and flatiron it in the best of times. Keratin treatments make it easier but very expensive ($400)
After some introspection, I realized that I’d been suppressing my own desire to want to dress up. This topic revealed what I’d been feeling all along but I had rejected it out of a belief that I shouldn’t do these things because it was “shallow.” Now I’ve given myself permission to. I agree, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to look your best, and it doesn’t make you shallow. Beauty and style are forms of self expression. It is an extension of who you are and your personality, more than skin-deep. I also want to take a moment to say sorry for my behavior, it was uncalled for, and for misunderstanding. With all that said, thank you for this video.
Thanks for your caring video. I have learned so much from you. God bless you and yours.
I love listening to your perspective. ❤ I did have you color type me and I want to get the body typing as well. It’s important, and not frivolous to want to look your best at any age! 69 years old and looking fabulous!
I ran some studies, imaginary studies” 😂💕 yes I started prioritizing my hair and nails looking nice and doing 5 minute make up routine daily - it has helped my self esteem so much.
I'm so happy that you started posting more often in this channel 😊
You're absolutely right. Doing my hair really gives me boost. As a Romantic I look great in curls and I discovered that my minimum effort pin curls give me better results than any modern style that takes too much time, damages hair and frankly I don't have skills to make it. So in my case it was either a ponytail that makes me look dowdy or curls that I get complemented on and make me feel feminine.
Here in France, we dont do our hair. We do our skin, our clothes , but not our hair, hair is natural. We like it effortless, not blow dried and styled like the run way.
I think I must be French 😊
I am French and I looove doing my hair haha
@@sugarplumk2381😂😂😂
Moi aussi!
You guys have a style where messy hair looks edgy or effortless
This was a really good, needed video
I enjoy clothes, makeup, exercise, etc…. But my hair is difficult to manage. Even after trying to style it , I am not happy with it.
Update: this message got me to try again to sort out my unending hair problems. Thought out and got some new hair products. Success! Best hair of my adult life!
Thank you for this. I've been postponing dying my hair for weeks, despite getting mad at my greys every time I passed by a mirror. Now I'll go buy a couple box kits and replace my broken cosmetic mirror!
What do you mean, “do your hair?” Is your hair “done” for example?
As usual. well said. Keep up the good work!
This could be me. I don't ever do my hair but i do like style in general. For me it's more that i seriously don't even know what to do with it than that I refuse or believe I shouldn't have to. I never grew up in the habit of it. No one ever taught me how. Whenever I've tried I've failed - styling products made my hair tacky and sticky. Straightening makes it even flatter. Curls often don't hold and it takes so much time. I also have a chronic illness which takes it's toll on my hair - my hair is extremely fine. So i feel gross about my hair permanently 🙃 It is a point of self consciousness. I wear wigs for photos sometimes but i feel self conscious wearing wigs out in public. I know this video is truthful and it's inspired me to look up some videos on hairstyling. I'm sick of it dragging me down.
Anything I think I “want” but can’t bring myself to actually act on is proof to me that I don’t really want it - so I just resolve to get over it and decide it doesn’t matter to me.
We don’t have to have societies priorities if we hear all the reasons people give, and they aren’t motivating enough just let it go.
Omg ! I was just thinking this! I am 51 and I am not attractive like I was when I was younger and I think why bother it won’t make a difference and my hair is thinner and hard to manage but I know what you are saying is true…I have not run across a subject like this before🙏🏼this was perfect timing!
I’m 59. I’m not attractive in the way I was, but now I am chic and elegant in a way I wasn’t. Aging is not all loss; it’s also finding new things.
Totally agree with you, Merriam... it's self-respect, simply put...
8:20 If it's important to you, if not doing it is distressing...then do it! Yes!
Oh my god, I am this girl who wrote the email, except I didn't write it, but I do write it in my head everyday (cry wink lol). Thankfully I can now write Merriam's advice into my head :)
People have no idea how much POWER hair has. Even with men… they go into a salon very average and come out quite attractive. It’s so important. One of the most important parts of looking good! In my finishing school there was a HUGE emphasis on how important HAIR is. I remember even being in an office and talking to one of my supervisors and she had a dress and makeup on but a messy bun and I just remember thinking how unprofessional she looked and how the hair completely disregarded the WHOLE look! JUST DO YOU HAIR.
this is so true. I resisted doing my hair for years because I wanted it to be "low maintenance". I often disliked how it looked and would preen and touch and adjust it all day. Now I take the time to style it after every wash, the style lasts for days and I love that my hair just looks good every day without me having to think about it!
HA the title is already flooring me! I am sharpened soft and without lusciously large shapes in my hair (if I wear it straight or crinkled) I look like a wet dog.
For those that are minimalists, there are plenty of easy care hair styles that one can get. It's important to know your style and what one is willing to do to keep up with personal appearances.
I understand what you’re saying. If you have curly hair like me then it’s not easy to style. If I brush it comb it I’ll just have frizz. But sometimes do a slight smooth or derangers. After washing I just towel dry and give it a scrunch. It’s been many years since I blow dried my hair. Depending on what it’s doing on the day but I often just twist it up and into a bun or in lot a ponytail, especially on hot days. Usually only takes a couple of minutes to do my hair.
Love the tough love!
Please can you do a comparison video of a blended top vs a naturap top. Sometimes you recommend a button down shirt for blended that (to me) looks quite flowy. A comparison would be super helpful, thanks!
Love this message! Merriam is teaching us all about life. ❤
Spot on Merriam🎯🤓
This was definitely a video I needed!
Wow I really needed this 😞 really ignoring my hair rn
The world judges us based on our physical appearance, this fact will never change because it’s just how people are. Pretty privilege is real and it’s never going away, it’s part of life, so we should do our best to look our best. When on a dating site, the first thing that attracts someone to another is the photo, not the long bio they wrote. When you look well groomed the world treats you better, you get doors opened for you, both literally and figuratively. Physical appearance matters. Our hair is our naturally built in accessory, it can make or break our look. I’ve seen some people well dressed but their hair is a frizzy mess, they spend money on designer hand bags or silk shirts but not money on hair treatments 😆 the most simple style hack is to do your hair!
100% agree!!❤❤❤
I don't like doing my hair lol my hair is long and fairly thin. I like to brush it out and focus on getting it healthy but I don't use any product in my hair aside from aloe and jojoba for moisture and smooth follicles. I've also been focusing on my skin. I look forward to my little facial after a shower. No make up. I braid my hair and put it in a top knot.
if that's how you feel the most beautiful then that's amazing.
I'm a guy with medium length hair and I always blow dry it, even if I leave it curly wavy I'll always use a diffuser and hair dryer. I don't care that people will stare and laugh and say I have blow dried hair, I HATE to have air dried frizzy limp crap hair
I think we would feel better about spending time putting on make up, doing our hair or whatever if it was considered as a hobby. I still feel a little embarrassed comparing my passion for make up to reading or drawing. Mamy people consider these as passions, but society just make us feel ashamed about it for no reason at all
I love your hair on you. Very pretty
As someone who swims 5x a week (with a lot of hair) I appreciate a good haircut, and well maintained hair care routine. For me “doing my hair” mean I slap a baseball cap onto my wet hair and let is air dry. 😅
A good haircut can do wonders for effortless wash and go hair also!
Love your hair parted the way you have it 👩🌾👑
I love my natural hair, it suits me the best!!! What I struggle with is traction alopecia - completely my fault. But I don't think it's worth going trough the risk and the cost of a hair transplant :( I wish there were alternative solutions.
If it’s from traction doesn’t it stop if you just leave it alone? Gen/
@@spacebar9733 no, it's permanent. I have bold spots since at least 6 years and my hairline has receided
What about those whose sf esteem has taken knock because of the lack thereoef of hair. Wigs just don’t do it when compared to natural hair and how it flows
Here's a thing, if you spend time doing your hair, you become more and more proficient at doing it over time, because you figure out what works and what doesn't work, you found the "art" the way of doing it efficiently, and the more experience and skills you'll gain from doing your hair, if you spend time to actually not just hair but also applicable to everything, you're experimenting it.
Nah, short hair takes so much effort to make it look nice. I have good hair even if it's simply clean when it's waist length as it's wavy enough to look done. But made the mistake to cut it short and I never had a low effort nice hair day.
Are you a beveled/natural type?
@@Rachael91 I can't type myself, I'm quite new to this, but I know I look absolutely worse with short hair even tho I love it on other people.
I'm not a native speaker, what do you guys mean when you say DO hair? It's like saying "do skin!" Am i supposed to be curling it or ironing it or making buns and braids or doing haircare? Do you guys really do that every day? I heard that you should not use heat every day so if thats true i can't curl or straighten it daily so what exactly am i supposed to be doing when I'm "doing hair"??
Of course I wash and brush my hair but i dont think thats what you mean by doing hair. I come from a culture where we dont even have a concept of "wash and go" hair since that's so normal...
I think it's basically: take care of the condition of your hair and put some effort into styling it.
For me personally I found that curls work best for my body type. I could get a perm or use heat, but I don't want to damage my hair. I opted for heatless pin curls that I sleep in and in the morning it takes me literally 2 minutes to brush my hair and I'm ready to go. Sometimes I use one clip on a side to make it more fancy.
I am not skilled, I prioritise my comfort and that's what I discovered works for me. You may have a different style that looks great on you and if you figure out how to do it efficiently you may surprise yourself.
What's your body type? Sometimes it's just a question of for example "should my bun be messy, or sleek?" For some people a ponytail will look put together if they adhere to some principles for body type.
I am a native speaker, and I also have no idea what this means in this video!
I watch you on my phone at full volume but its never loud enough. Its not yoyr soft voice, its just the volume. Other channels i can put my phone down and hear it from several feet away just fine.
I noticed that YT just rolled out a new feature in the Settings called "Stable Volume". Hope that helps make the volume more consistent for you?
You could use cordless blue tooth headphones as it sounds like you wish to listen handsfree
she didn't want to do her hair but paid for color analysis?
okay but how do you ‘do’ your hair?
U took your advice and did my hair.
I love these videos
I would like to "do" my hair and I do at least brush it but I have autistic hypersensitivity and I really hate the feeling of putting clips and stuff in it. Any tips?
this👏
01:39 😃
Thank you!! 🖤
Interesting🤔
Haha yes more time worrying about it
I love your videos! You are so great! Haven't heard your perspective.
Have you thought about parting your hair on the side? Middle parts are most of the time making peoples faces look more harsh because it forces the brain to look at imperfections.
Anyway just a thought how ever you feel more comfortable with yourself! ❤
Imperfections are beautiful and unique.
Delete this comment .
@@damsels2923no.
@@SolutionsWithinpeople can try to improve the themselves especially if they’re giving advice in a condescending tone
@@christinec2625 It was not meant condescendingly. This is literally a channel where she takes pictures of celebrities and talks about what looks good and what doesn't.
She is a big girl she can take it. If you get your feelings easily hurt mabey this isn't the channel for you.
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Very irritating when you end every sentence with Ok? Sounds patronizing.
It’s just her way of talking and I think it adds personality. Hope she doesn’t change it because of one annoying comment
You don't have to watch her.
Vicky nobody is after you! Especially not Meriam offering FREEE advice
Just take the core of the message
Grace costs you nothing.
-in this case keeping this thought to yourself.
I am not irritated by “ok”, she might be just using that as a connection between the sentences and that gives her time to think what to say next. I think we all have words that we overuse, sometimes, especially if when nervous giving a speech and being recorded.
I don’t think she means to talk down to anybody. At least I never felt this way.❤
Thank you for this ❤ you inspired me to create a feelgood/ self care playlist to remind myself that is it important to look after myself 🫶 I've struggled with many of the things you mentioned basically all my life so this was really a good wakeup call
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