"If ayahuasca really worked, you would come back to your house in LA and burn it to the ground & leave the state." -Dillon Fact #333 *shout out to Morgan & Morgan Law, good choice.
It does work, its just most people aren't willing to do their part of the work. Self development is cold and brutal. Psychedelics dont mix with laziness.
Saw Tim at the Comedy Mothership yesterday and he LIT UP a stiff 4pm crowd. Truly, an absolute force of nature live. Just give him the Daily Show already, for Christ!
What makes Tim’s ketamine rant even more hilarious is that Whitney Cummings is supposedly one of his best friends and she’s openly used ketamine for years 😂😂😂
The Daily Show AIN'T that kinda show..of you haven't noticed Hell would have to freeze over for a Time Dillon to be allowed anywhere near that pretend "edgy" annoyance
I’m at my job on holiday shifts around terrible coworkers and this episode is making the entire shitshow pass by like a fart in the wind. TOP TIER TIM. 💯
I knew this. It usually happens late at night. Another fun fact. When Santa needs a sip from his whiskey and water. He has to lift his beard. His mouth starts out under his beard. And ends above it. Santa is magical.
Oh Tim we love ya so. Thx for all the good times this year. Have a fantastic xmas and new year. Take care and we look forward to seeing you next year. All the love xx
41:39 the bit about thinking everyone is a process server is spot on. I grew up with my deadbeat dad who taught me at a young age never to admit who I am or who my dad is, don’t respond when someone calls out, in case they’re a process server
I saved watching this episode till Xmas morning, while I got morning drunk w/ the kids opening presents & chopping cheese for family later w/ a healthy pour of Baileys & coffee….and it did not disappoint 🤣🤣🤣. Merry Christmas Tim & Co. You are the highlight of my year always!
It’s crazy how Tim speaks such deep truth especially for people who have had a crazy drug filled life. And yet does it in such a simple comedic way. This guy is such a genius of comedy. 😂
Woke up to this after a night of drinking and doing drugs. Time to do more of the same. But now a new Timmy D video to listen to? What? Havent even played his latest JRE episode either so this is gonna be a good weekend with the sound of my boi Tim Dizzles keeping me company and keeping my teeth off the twelve gauge for another day 🎩🍻
I hope one day you can get to a place where you are happy without having to do that everyday and night. Happy enough where you don't have to joke about blowing your own head off. The world needs you man your life has purpose beyond just getting messed up. I say this to you because I'm in the same spot and it helps me feel hopeful I guess
This Santa Claus used to plow through Colombian snow 7 days a week and his 9 reindeer didn't pull his sleigh at night, He used to pull and slay 9 dudes at night... Thanks to Ketamine therapy Santa Claus now has a successful podcast, is clean, married to Mrs Claus and appears frequently on the JRE 👏👏
Matthew Perry, the beloved "Friends" sitcom star, died from the "acute effects of ketamine," according to an autopsy report released Friday by the Los Angeles County medical examiner.
I had a day where the barista at Starbucks got my order wrong and then my mom asked me why im still single and live alone, so I can totally relate to people who do this Ketamine therapy to rewire their neural networks to erase past trauma. So much trauma that it’s hard to even breathe at times.
This is Santa Claus if his beard was actually a parasitic life form that slowly takes over your entire face until it eventually turns you into Cousin Itt
The funniest thing about a bad trip is not knowing anything about those clichés and you yourself end up rattling off every single one of those notes bar for bar 😂😂
Ketamine is not like trip drugs. As a hard-core drug user even Tim knows that you remember doing most drugs. Ketamine, doing drugs isn't a concept, being human isn't a concept. It's not a bad trip, you turn into a non entity. I thought I was an avatar on the super Mario world map, and the fender of a car was the entire universe. I lived an entire life being a icon in a videogame about a car fender.
My ketamine experience wasn't fun,and I've lived every misery there is to endure, hard-core alcoholic and heroin addict for 15 years. Had a girlfriend with a dark sort of death wish thing going on who was really into dissociatives,pcp ketamine and triple cs were her jam and I tried to follow her daily routine but one time. Turned into a red hexagram in a black void for an indeterminate length of time,a black infinity from which I emerged only able to crawl and somehow seeing in all directions at once,as if I had eyes all the way around my head,which made it very difficult to orient or pick a direction to move in. Knowing that's what she sought out every day made me very sad for her, though not as if my daily descents into an empty stupor were happy times either lol.
"If ayahuasca really worked, you would come back to your house in LA and burn it to the ground & leave the state."
-Dillon Fact #333
*shout out to Morgan & Morgan Law, good choice.
It does work, its just most people aren't willing to do their part of the work. Self development is cold and brutal. Psychedelics dont mix with laziness.
@@bigmeatswangin5837keep your mouth shut
@@bigmeatswangin5837you sound like a hoot to be around. It's called comedy not to be taken literal or serious my guy
'Holidays are not for poor ppl'. Tim Dillon = modern philosopher.
"Get back to work please!" -Tim Dillon
😂😂
Factz, retail work this time of year will turn anyone into a grinch
“summer is not for poor people.” tim dillon
Saw Tim at the Comedy Mothership yesterday and he LIT UP a stiff 4pm crowd. Truly, an absolute force of nature live. Just give him the Daily Show already, for Christ!
Dude!!!! Hell yeah!!!
😮🤯
Then he couldn't tour
No thanks
His stand up is mediocre, i prefer just him talking.
Was at the 7pm show and he roasted me for being from Pflugerville lol
It's the most wonderful Tim of the year.
It sure is 🎅🥰
Severely underrated comment
Well done, sir. Well done.
Tim Dillon is the only news source I can trust
Sweet dreams.
disturbingly true
It's true
he has herpes if u look closly tho
at this point i'm like is he my brother? or my pastor? or my best friend? or am i in love?
Drinking a bottle of Jack Daniels alone while Tim confirms my biases. Truly an American hero
We wish your liver well
Cheers
Go to rehab.
@@grizzlywidow Rehab is not for the poor😥
Cheers m8. Merry Christmas. 🎉
Honestly, thank god for this. Tim comes through for Xmas.
The talking through the beard really got me lol
This is just fantastic. :)
@@DIIIIIIIIIIIIIIILaloha snackbar
Xmas sucks so hard this year, but with the pig gracing us with his presence makes it bearable.
Why does it suck
tell me youre jewish without telling me
@@mmr0221family
@@mmr0221bidenomics
@nordics834 for reals, I think this the best CHRISTmas ever !
I didn’t think we were getting this, it’s a Christmas miracle 😆
"Thank God Santa's dead." -Tim Dillon 😂😂😂
Merry Christmas! I wish all of you well.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JESUS!
Happy holidays.
I wish you well too 😏
Uncle Tim came through with the greatest Christmas gift, his unfiltered satire of the state of our society.
😂
Thanks Dad!🎁
Tim always brings us back to reality once a week
This cheered me up immensely. Thank you Tim. I was having a super hard day and when I saw the new episode drop my day was made.
I love the Santa hat Princess Diana Bear is wearing. Glad she’s in a festive mood.
She makes sure everyone knows she's Christian.
Tim’s rants are a sweet wet dream come true. Thanks for making this Christmas in America bearable.
“I will not live in a post Awkwafina blaccent world”. We had to draw a line in the sand somewhere.
What makes Tim’s ketamine rant even more hilarious is that Whitney Cummings is supposedly one of his best friends and she’s openly used ketamine for years 😂😂😂
Oh she deffo starts every sentence with I. Usually ‘I need more Botox’.
She just birthed Brendan Schaubs child
And his friend Annie Lederman is always going on about Ayahuasca and her shaman
Best friends? Come on now
That explains a lot
"Emmit Till On Ice"...
Holy sht man this wins the whole fkn year.
One of the funniest things ever said.
I'm now fully in the Christmas spirit. I wish you all well. ❤
I’m drinking my poppin’ pill slush and now ordering my Churro Frappe, this is what Christmas means to me
That's a privilege and you can consider yourself lucky. Move to palestine if you don't like it
Hell yeah
Honesty stay slumped playuh. Also try the shaken oat espresso
That’s a life in the big city
Lol 😂 designed to help you rest 6 feet under
I remember Tim's Christmas show last year. So glad it's a tradition.
what a guy
From the river to the sea Tim Dillon’s fans will have coal under their tree 🌲 🎅
From the river to the sea Tim's beard smells like pee.
My dog left me a coal...wait
My favourite episode this year!!!! Thank you father Tim for all the joy you’ve given us this year 🙏⭐️🎅🫡
Immense joy.
Perfect Gift for the holidays . A Tim Dillon podcast . Princess Diana is proud
tim dressed as santa with cold sore is all i really wanted for xmas
also reporters trip is def fake lmao sounds like a virgin tryna prove theyve had sex
We wish him well
This was almost a spiritual sermon 🙏🏼🤍 Love you Tim & crew, Merry Christmas! ✨✨✨
Now I feel that Christmas spirit!! 🎅 🎄 🎁
Should try lifting sometime little guy
@@Cole____ 😂
Literally just finished the Rogan episode an hr ago and now this. Work day going good today
Dammit, I needed this today. Getting crazy here at the border. The laughs make the day go by so much smoother.
Merry Christmas Tim! All I want for Christmas is for you to host The Daily Show
The Daily Show AIN'T that kinda show..of you haven't noticed
Hell would have to freeze over for a Time Dillon to be allowed anywhere near that pretend "edgy" annoyance
What a gift from the Pigma male himself, a visit from Santa Pig.
You just gave me Starfox flashbacks
I’m at my job on holiday shifts around terrible coworkers and this episode is making the entire shitshow pass by like a fart in the wind.
TOP TIER TIM. 💯
Got to see Timmy D rant for 45 minutes at the mothership last night. Got a free ticket in the standby line. Merry Christmas!
man, I am out of touch: Aquafina is a bottled water to me.
You always learn something: I never knew that Santa's beard starts from above his nose downwards
😂
I knew this. It usually happens late at night. Another fun fact. When Santa needs a sip from his whiskey and water. He has to lift his beard. His mouth starts out under his beard. And ends above it. Santa is magical.
Just seen Thanksgiving.. hilarious your cameo
The greatest holiday gift is Tim wearing the $98,000 sunglasses. Merry Christmas, Pig!! ✨🚬🐷🎄✨
Is that true?!
@@elizabethmahoney83 He's had a running gag about how expensive his sunglasses are. ✨🕶️✨
my biggest wish for next year and the years to come, is that you keep these podcasts coming! you're amazing. Happy new year Tim! Best from Austria
Oh Tim we love ya so. Thx for all the good times this year. Have a fantastic xmas and new year. Take care and we look forward to seeing you next year. All the love xx
41:39 the bit about thinking everyone is a process server is spot on. I grew up with my deadbeat dad who taught me at a young age never to admit who I am or who my dad is, don’t respond when someone calls out, in case they’re a process server
Tim, you’ve just embodied the “Spirit of Christmas Present” for me. Bless your cotton heart! 😊❤
Amazing ep. We’re in the Tim screaming while the world literally burns era.
I love Tim . Super smart and makes you think while being too funny
Merry Christmas to my fellow Tim Dillon fans!!! ❤ 🎄 😂 Much love, and thanks for it all, Tim D.
😂
So much respect for you doing this. Spot on. From New Zealand.
Tim is the gift that keeps giving 🎄🎅👍🏻
Brother you delivered the hell out of this one * applause *
I wonder in what regards the concept of “diffusion of responsibility” can be applied
the moment I get on RUclips Tim posts... wonderful!
What a feeling. Christmas is saved.
I saved watching this episode till Xmas morning, while I got morning drunk w/ the kids opening presents & chopping cheese for family later w/ a healthy pour of Baileys & coffee….and it did not disappoint 🤣🤣🤣. Merry Christmas Tim & Co. You are the highlight of my year always!
It’s crazy how Tim speaks such deep truth especially for people who have had a crazy drug filled life. And yet does it in such a simple comedic way. This guy is such a genius of comedy. 😂
Tim I love you, thank you for helping the year slip by less grittily. 💋
I am soooooooooooooo thankful for all of the generous content frm the king of comedy in the last 2 weeks 💟💟💟💞🥰
Woke up to this after a night of drinking and doing drugs. Time to do more of the same.
But now a new Timmy D video to listen to? What?
Havent even played his latest JRE episode either so this is gonna be a good weekend with the sound of my boi Tim Dizzles keeping me company and keeping my teeth off the twelve gauge for another day 🎩🍻
We wish you well
@@jawlinejawlinejawline 🏌🏻♂️
Holy shit I didn’t even know he had a JRE feature this week.
Time to fire up the Vitamix for some kratom + Kalhua smoothies!
I hope one day you can get to a place where you are happy without having to do that everyday and night. Happy enough where you don't have to joke about blowing your own head off. The world needs you man your life has purpose beyond just getting messed up. I say this to you because I'm in the same spot and it helps me feel hopeful I guess
@@hoursdays1572 Dont tell a stranger on the internet "the world needs you" or "your life has meaning"
Tim always gets round to the realism by this time of year. Thank you Tim.
Amazing episode. Thanks Timmy.
Καλά Χριστούγεννα !!! ❤️🧑🎄🌲
I needed A Hollywood Christmas rant. Thank you Tim.
Thanks for this gift Tim, I’ll open it on the ride home from work
Anybody else remember surfing Erowid as a teenager just getting into drugs?
2007-09, oh yes. Thank you for the memories of innocent times
Erowid archives are still dope af
Happy Christmas Tim! Thanks for another uplifting episode. Heres hoping for next year 💪🥹
Emmet Till on Ice! I’m dying 😂
I’m alone this Christmas; this made it way better.
Merry Christmas. I’m with family but there was just a giant falling out so I’m sitting in my car watching this. The grass is not greener!
@@bruhice6058 yea ; I realize some people out there WISH they could dodge the family party ; so I feel grateful for that
Somehow Tim never disappoint
Somehow Tim always disappoints.
I disagree.
Ketamine kits need to have a hottub warning
One of those Prop 65s, for hottubs
Or just use common sense 🫡
@@BubbaabbuBcommon sense? Then there’s no money from lawsuits.. stfu about that common sense, that’s really hating on the hustle dude
WAITING PATIENTLY FOR THAT BOOK MR DILLON
Merry Christmas Tim! Yes I am a woman & yes, I am a loyal fan- thank you for speaking truth ♥️
No girls allowed
Me too
Me too
We need to make group...ladies for tim 😜
Well I am not. Stop the discrimination please.
There is a god!!! Rogan and a Christmas episode! I’m having a happy Christmas now!🎄🎄🎄🎄🎄❤️
this will go down as one of his most historic rants. I too do not want to live in a world without awkwafinas blackcent.
ket makes you piss crystals if you do it enough I've heard. maybe they're just being festive!
Having a ketamine addiction is like living life on hard-mode. If you’re a true gamer you’ll boof til your handwriting is unreadable
My handwriting is already unreadable without drugs, with that kind of motor control i can only assume ketamine would make me literally shit myself
TIM: the cold sore isn't that bad
COLD SORE: elicited me to unironically say "oh my god" out loud
This Santa Claus used to plow through Colombian snow 7 days a week and his 9 reindeer didn't pull his sleigh at night, He used to pull and slay 9 dudes at night... Thanks to Ketamine therapy Santa Claus now has a successful podcast, is clean, married to Mrs Claus and appears frequently on the JRE 👏👏
It wasn't just ketamine, he also had Christ's grace on his side.
The greatest way to get over depression in this generation is to get offline not ketamine
Yeah chances are you've done neither 😆👍
Wrong and wrong, it’s all about only going online while on K.
@@wadeboggs5163instructions unclear snorted an adderall and drank a 5th of Tito's. It's a real knife fight out here.
that's not going to get you a netflix special
Medication is the only solution. This message brought to you by Pfizer.
Love these shows!
This is the only Christmas gift I need. Thank you Tim, national treasure.
Perry didnt die of ketamine, he died of drowning
Matthew Perry, the beloved "Friends" sitcom star, died from the "acute effects of ketamine," according to an autopsy report released Friday by the Los Angeles County medical examiner.
@@poshweevil2960 oh so NOW we believe the LA country sheriff?
@@nedrobinson7490i havent trusted them since Cobain
43:32 fav part on
Not gonna lie, I was feeling a bit depressed but seeing this episode pop-up with big Santa Dillon made me chuckle. :)
Love you Tim! Merry Christmas!
Thanks Tim merry Christmas
Tim straight from the smash&grab.
That cold sore is big enough to get it’s own Christmas present 😂
😂😂😂😂😂
Lol, I got a cold sore from a massage and it was the worst 2 weeks ever- ps take the blowjob but don’t let her sit on your face- just wish her well
This is the best xmas gift I ever got. Im dying 😂
The dude that wrote that article deff didn't even do the ketamine
@@Dtom32😢j❤ NJ❤❤a 🎉great 😊u
I had a day where the barista at Starbucks got my order wrong and then my mom asked me why im still single and live alone, so I can totally relate to people who do this Ketamine therapy to rewire their neural networks to erase past trauma. So much trauma that it’s hard to even breathe at times.
I dunno, I think crack would be better for you
Earlier today a webpage took longer than 0.05 seconds to load. So much trauma
Caffeine doesn't work and ketamine is losing its appeal. You can always sink deeper, don't worry .
@@jumbolumps666 Rooting for you. Our past doesn’t have to define us. We can overcome.
🤣🤣
Tim Dillon is an American treasure, I love him.
RIP Santa, we wish him well
Give him the crown already
Tim gets a coldsore soon after appearing on JRE. Interesting.
Like throwing darts at an elephant
Love Tim 😂 Such a great show
Tim rocked it with Joe Rogan on JRE again! Awesome 👍🏻
This is Santa Claus if his beard was actually a parasitic life form that slowly takes over your entire face until it eventually turns you into Cousin Itt
I'm cooking Christmas food and drinking beers with my 83y/o grandma and listening to Tim Dillon with her, and she's laughing. Merry christmas
Dang. That sounds awesome.
0:43, this is the best format for shows to date.
The funniest thing about a bad trip is not knowing anything about those clichés and you yourself end up rattling off every single one of those notes bar for bar 😂😂
Lol that’s what makes them clichés! 😂😂
Ketamine is not like trip drugs. As a hard-core drug user even Tim knows that you remember doing most drugs. Ketamine, doing drugs isn't a concept, being human isn't a concept. It's not a bad trip, you turn into a non entity. I thought I was an avatar on the super Mario world map, and the fender of a car was the entire universe. I lived an entire life being a icon in a videogame about a car fender.
@@realDonaldTrump420 Yea it's a dissociative, same class as PCP, but sedating, numbing and overall less bad
My ketamine experience wasn't fun,and I've lived every misery there is to endure, hard-core alcoholic and heroin addict for 15 years.
Had a girlfriend with a dark sort of death wish thing going on who was really into dissociatives,pcp ketamine and triple cs were her jam and I tried to follow her daily routine but one time.
Turned into a red hexagram in a black void for an indeterminate length of time,a black infinity from which I emerged only able to crawl and somehow seeing in all directions at once,as if I had eyes all the way around my head,which made it very difficult to orient or pick a direction to move in.
Knowing that's what she sought out every day made me very sad for her, though not as if my daily descents into an empty stupor were happy times either lol.
@@whitekony1006you guys need weed jesus christ just stick to weed. weed should be free for this very reason lol… wont turn u into a hexagram…
Dude is talented!! Love the controversy