the male gaze, body image & reacting to old pictures of me
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- Опубликовано: 18 окт 2024
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The struggle of having bad body image and also having an Irish mammy who agrees with your insecurities is something that’s been really hard for me personally atm. Passing on this toxic mentality of hating your body to your daughters it fully needs to be talked about more in conversations about gender inequality.
@@miadowling1317 That’s so true. We can be the change of not passing our insecurities on to our daughters. It’s just such an interesting conversation I’ve had with my friends and for the majority of them it’s the exact same experience.
In my opinion, there comes a point where you have to do some mental work, stop playing the blame game and take responsibility for your own relationship with yourself and your body. Yes there is a lot of toxicity around body image and pressure on females to have certain qualities and look a certain way (been this way since forever) but there is also a lot of positivity and acceptance now of things that were previously unacceptable and self love is being preached more than any previous generation. We have to choose what to focus on - the positive or the negative - society will never be completely fixed and perfect because humans are deeply flawed so don’t cling on too much into society changing but rather focus on changing on a purely individual basis. If everyone did this, society would improve a lot faster. We are all aware at this point that the digital images we see on social media are highly manipulated and not real representations, so if girls are still choosing to indulge in comparisons with altered edited images and feeling bad about themselves it’s really quite silly and a waste of energy?? also most people who are successful on social media are wealthy and we all know money can take you from a 2 to a 9 REAL quick. When you actually get out there and speak to real normal everyday guys (I’m talking actual guys not repulsive immature teenagers) you realise they don’t hold nowhere near as high of a standard as most girls think they do. Sure they like tits and ass (I’m referring solely to straight guys here as it’s all I feel qualified to speak on) they are hardwired to enjoy the female form but they also like a girl with nice legs, a pretty face, long hair, slim bodies, toned bodies, curvy bodies, good fashion sense, cute smile, good teeth, pretty eyes and that is just the physical traits! You don’t have to have all of them to pass as attractive lol! Let go of “perfect” accept what you have and make the best of it. There’s so much more to this life than physical appearance.
I honestly think body neutrality and gratitude towards your body is the way forward. rather than focusing on the appearance and having to "love" the way it looks. You can give and show love to your body without having to consider the appearance at all. just acceptance and gratitude for how your body functions and keeps you alive everyday
Big yes to this !!
Babe this is what I keep telling people! We are mammals and people forget that bodies exist to keep us alive and everything else is just accidents and extra
i think the best thing would be for ppl to actually read up on fat phobia. at the end of the day this stems from us being afraid of fatness, and not to be corny but knowledge is power
this !! spot on
read "fearing the black body" !! it talks about the history of this systemic issue
Very true !!
I am obsessed with watching you grow!! and contradict yourself and change opinions in the healthiest most honest way!! you are a gem!!!
Evolving and changing opinions is a sign of progressing as a human!! And I have no problem admitting my mistakes !
@@KeelinMoncrieff it’s honestly so refreshing to see, i think the more people show that real life is where our opinions grow and change the more people on the internet will understand that people aren’t the same as they were even 6 months ago, because we’re not supposed to be
I have never run so quickly for a video
Genuinely I feel like you would make a great radio host. Like such good chats and seems to come very natural, and you make the listener feel like they are apart of it even when we just sitting here listening XD
This is such a nice compliment, thank u!
@@KeelinMoncrieff sure it was all I could think about watching the vid gurl so had to share it with you :)
@@KeelinMoncrieff more podcast episodes pleaseeeee
omg i agree
Honestly I relate to this a lot, I think lots of girls have this internal arguments between wanting to be obsessed over and girls to want to be you and men who want to be with you, but at the same time having a feeling that we shouldn’t be aspiring to that
I SWEAR down I've been going through exactly these same realisations over the past few months and its actually so hard to process - I've also realised that I value myself a lot more now than I did say a year ago. I do a lot more for myself like reading, wearing what I want, saying what I want, but with that comes intense feelings of embarrassment in addressing the past (ie. feeling pressures to always look 'good', having casual sex because I felt the need to prove something to myself etc)
It's actually horrible to realise that you have spent so much energy attracting people who ultimately are probably the best not to attract anyway. It is equally hard to digest that in no longer playing up to these things, you will have to commit to letting go of a quick source of validation you had the ability to tap into. It definitely affects your confidence even though you feel weirdly far more confident with the person you have become...its actually so fucked but so refreshing to hear that so many are realising this rn
Okay so I don’t have a big sister so I cld do with some advice if anyone wld like to help lmao. Baso I’m going thru what ur “past” was. I struggle with valuing myself and I also have a FWB situation with this guy. And I just know it’s not good for me, but I don’t know how to move forward and change things for myself :// any words of wisdom wld be appreciated lol x
@@Anon-mx7db okay I'm 20 and an older sister to a 16 year old and i have older sisters (as old as 40 years old) and i love sister talks with all my heart, because we are literally the same person just from different generations but going through the same phases like we can look at each other and see ourselves at a certain time period its like a weird fucked up mirror but its so insightful and beautiful to be able to hear from your older and younger self ANYWAYS
so to reply to your comment i just wanna say that you don't have to worry about getting to the next step because whatever is meant for you will happen BELIEVE ME, growing out of things and learning to love yourself and other lessons will not come from a youtube video or any comment or advice (at least any genuine lessons), it will come from inside you and it will happen so subtly and spontaneously until one day you're like wtf when did this happen!!! it feels like two days ago i was a completely different person and had so many different aspirations and now I'm at a point where I'm transcending the whole idea of being a person and just merging with the one solid constant thing that is my soul and just letting my "self" (personality, identity, attachments to external things) go and just being sooooo peaceful by realising none of this shit really matters at all like this whole ride called life is one big movie and we're all just characters being played by the same entity which is the all encompassing absolute consciousness that brought this world into manifestation! like you and i are the same thing!!! by talking to you im talking to myself! we're just in a dream rn where we think and believe that we are different people and just experiencing life like that and its so fun just to see and understand that from that space of oneness OMG this is a huge tangent rn my brain is on fire so much is going on i never write comments but i felt so drawn to you and wanted to reply to you and tell you that im your sister! we're all sisters and brothers! we're all one big family! we're all one and the same and there's so much love that i have for you because you are me and i love me therefore i love you omg YOU DONT UNDERSTAND !!!! please don't worry about anything i promise you none of it matters and everything will be okay ! i know that was so cliche but cliches are cliches for a reason!!!! THEY'RE TRUE! trust me trust yourself trust the universe everything is happening for you, you are being taken care of ! fuck this guy he can't hurt you because you are the universe and you're perfect nothing i mEAN NOTHING can take that away from you not even your own demons no matter how loud they get they are here because you are the space that allows them to exist therefore yoy are bigger than them and have power over them!
I'm not a crazy psycho on the internet i promise I'm just overwhelmed with the joy of this miraculous existence and wanted to share it with your beautiful soul im sorry if it overwhelmed you i love you and wish you alllllllll the best!!!!! take care of yourself please
@@الروحالتىروتبالندى wow this was so sweet to read. This was honestly the most thoughtful thing I’ve read or heard in a long time lol. Thank you so much, I love you too and hope you live a happy fulfilling life :)
I recently found a diary entry from when I was 8 years old & I wrote in it” I wish I could stop comparing myself to those magazines girls” . I was 8 years old... it’s taken me 14 years to realise that enough is enough. I’m fed up of hating myself and my body. I owe it to 8 year old me to accept myself for who I am. Otherwise i will get to 70 and wonder why the hell iv have let such superficial 💩 occupy my mind and ruin my peace
Aw that’s awful, I’m glad you’ve found peace ❤️
@@KeelinMoncrieff it is awful. & thank you, although I definitely still have a really really long way to go. I think realising how messed up it is to hate ourselves in the first place is the first step 💞
I feel this, I went through my old diary from when I was 9 upwards and I was talking about diet plans and would draw before and afters of myself, it’s so sad to see. I’m almost 20 now and recovered from an ED and have accepted my body as it is. I didn’t want to go my whole life obsessed with what I looked like, or what I didn’t look like and how people saw me and what I ate. Accepting yourself or trying to in a capitalist society is a radical thing 🤍 our bodies are meant to change and be lived in, they support us and aren’t the enemy
When I was 18 I would wear short dresses and lots of makeup. I got quite a bit of attention from men but people assumed I was ‘girly’. I was raised by a strong feminist and have always identified as one myself. So my exterior didn’t match who I was. When i was 20 I stopped wearing dresses and makeup and stopped shaving and it was one of the most freeing things. My confidence built up so much and it came from things other than my appearance. It’s hard sometimes though as just because you’ve decided to not care doesn’t mean it’s changed society or how people perceive you. People might just think you’re not pretty or approachable. Men don’t approach me in bars nearly as much as they used to. but the boyfriends I end up with now are amazing, feminist, intelligent and deep. And they love that I have real confidence that doesn’t come from my appearance.
Sexuality makes it complicated. I think heterosexual women struggle because I don’t think the most of us really identify as being ‘feminine’ we just want to be ourselves. But we are sexual beings and we know being ‘feminine’ sadly turns men on. So I think it’s not just a validation thing, it’s a sexual thing. We want a good sex life and men do tend to be more turned on by ‘femininity’. But perhaps we can re-shape what femininity means.
Really agree with this!
oh I love this ! so true
You’re one of the only people I could listen to for hours on end and not be bored
If I'm in a bit of a slump with my physical appearance I tend to not look in the mirror, take a break from social media and focus on the inside more than anything. I journal, do a bit of yoga and try to really figure out what I'm feeling and why! Can be super helpful to understand where your feelings are coming from and what systems are put in place to maintain that "competition" you were talking about!!
Really good tips thank u ❤️
10/10 sincerity with that ad girl x
All work is degrading work and I stand by that
@@KeelinMoncrieff phaha honestlyy! made me cackle x
the old pictures oh my god that gave me so much serotonin i can’t
Keelin I think you’d love “Happy Fat” by Sofie Hagen, such a good read on the reality of fatphobia and body politics 😊 and I think once you start to recognize fatphobia everywhere and unlearn it for yourself you start to realise that being fat is not the worst thing in the world and that feeds into your body image. Also think it’s important to not just acknowledge pretty privilege but think privilege too ☺️☺️ love how openly you talk about body politics, thanks for being so honest 😘
really liked ur lil bit of bein straight up bout how u dont know everythin n ur not trynna be puttin urself higher up than others n shtuff, good shi
❤️❤️❤️
how do you always make a video on the exact topic i'm struggling with!!!! obsessed with listening to you talk could literally listen to you talk about this kind of subject for hours and be so happy. the subject of male validation is something I've really been struggling with lately, like it's so toxic and yet i've been conditioned to only consider myself attractive if I'm receiving validation/attention from men...so utterly fucked and i've really been trying to retrain my brain to validate from myself from within, and try to focus on things other than appearance but fuck it's hard...even if none of us have the answers I just love listening to you talk about these kinds of subjects xx
i’ve been so obsessed with your videos lately!!
Thank u so much!! ❤️❤️❤️
I'm watching this while selling strawberries on the side of the road in swords 🙃 funnnnnnn
hey im sat at a skatepark, chilly n shivering, watching my boyf skate round !!
I don't know how to express how much comfort you provide me! You are so special, and I am learning so much from your thought processes.
Thank u so much ❤️
The way that your mug, face mask and T-shirt match
This is therapy for me
I’m so glad
This funniest vid in a while loling at the alien bit rant
Honestly your perspective on body image is so insightful! The fear to differ from the image you've cultivated to fit the male gaze is something I've struggled to put into words myself. Mega wise older sister vibes xx
This is such a confirming video for me. It’s exactly how I feel! I’ve been really heavy in the past and really skinny. I’m now in between and still feel awful and huge but I’m trying to feel confident in myself and not for other people! Thank you for making me feel less alone
healing my hangover thanks queen
same girl, same. literally been pmsing bawling all morning at the prospect of how the bar is so fucking low like is there a man out there who's willing to put in the work to acknowledge and unlearn their expectations for us to be their fucking barbies pls
Yeah I just got my period so I’d say a lot of the pent up self deprecation stemmed from that
@@KeelinMoncrieff even so, hormones aside we have a point lol
Ahhhh I smiled all the way through this you’re such an amazing woman. All your vids but particularly this one feel so relatable ur hands down my fav person to listen to on this app. Thanku
Needed this more than I knew. You’re a legend Keelin my son
this is exactly what i needed this morning
thank-you for everything you've vocalised and expressed, I felt as if you've spoken from my mind for many years. Poor body image has navigated my life, created an anxiety that has stopped me from so much life, completely debilitating. The male gaze stopped myself from learning and loving, I just needed validation from men daily, in every way possible. Your food for thought has comforted and calmed my mind, I'm so grateful x
Love love your authenticity
The sex shop in the back of the 3rd picture is my favourite part
Me and Saoirse had the same top from the last pic. Think it was a wardrobe staple across Ireland
This spoke to me so much cause I’ve struggled with perfecting my appearance, that my personality has gone to the dump. Great video!!
😭 the ghost thing omg! So relatable
i just discovered your channel recently and im in love with your videos, listening to you talk is like being with a friend :)
also totally relate to what you said about not feeling like myself the more i try to be sexually attractive or whatever, i just rather be myself.
This video brought me so much unbridled joy, thanks!!
Ur so welcome !! ❤️
your room looks so cozy and calm
It is my depression cave
This is quite possibly the best video for self image that I’ve ever seen and I needed it so much, love you xxxxx
i was thinking about the male gaze so much recently cos i know im sexy as hell and i dont wanna post body pics cos then the perception is completely different even tho i love my body for myself and am sexy for myself but the male gaze is so frustrating cos now i dont wanna be sexy anymore :((((
NO ! U KEEP BEING SEXU FOR U !
Literally been hating myself all week queen this video couldn’t be better x
im so obsessed with u rn
🥲🥲🥲 thank u
t shirt matching the mug matching the face mask matching the cushion
Already know im gonna love this
I relate sooo much to your message in the beginning, thank you for sharing - your words really helped to paint a clearer picture for me :)
I’m so glad, thank u ❤️
i really needed this tonight. been feeling kinda shitttty xo thank u girl
Thank you, this was just what I needed
I really needed this video this week:( struggle with this so bad
I’m so sorry, I hope this can help ❤️
This is what I needed in my life 💗
This is so good more content like this please sir
Coming right up ✅
this and a psych evaluation
keelin I needed this you're such a fookin legend xxxxx
No same I have the biggest ducking ego but good it is SO fragile
You are so comforting aw:):)
😭😭😭 this is such a nice thing to say thank u ❤️❤️❤️
So excited for this video!!
My day just got 100000x better omg
i love your claddagh ring. it’s so pretty, i have a silver one too
this video is literally my brain
the pic of u holding the baby (assume cora) is gorg
ur vids bring me so much joy
😭😭😭 this makes me so happy
I agree with most of what you said, you made your points clear and it was refreshing that you didn't just dish out a lot of hate against men in general, but rather argued your case in a fair manner. This creates dialogue, and we can discuss issues productively, instead of just trying to put down those who disagree or are in other ways different from us. Anyways, you lost me at: men are always going to disappoint because they've been conditioned that way. What? That's just unfair if you ask me, overgeneralizing. Just expecting someone to be shit or to disappoint you, merely based on their gender, could qualify as sexism if you ask me.
Love, love, love the videos. Keep it up 👍
Watching your videos I acc feel like we’re friends
Friendship confirmed
I look like a maths teacher on a day off hahahaha
Love your accent!
sorry but I love how in the background of that third picture it says sex center iconic
Cora looks like makka pakka in that picture
Thanks for this video loved it 💕💕
I’m glad, thank u for watching ❤️
this video is my bible
I loved this video
You r a gift from God
🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺
Love this keelin! 🍸✨🐛👌🏻🦈🌈
Please can you write a book I think it would be amazing to read
Ugh I can't imagine never having body issues🙁
Also I HAD THE 'PARENTAL CONSENT' JUMPER TOO😩😂
You are so brill, I love your vids! X
Thank you so much! ❤️
Living for the honesty :’)
Speaking factttsss
Also random q. What’s ur opinion on ironing ur clothes before u leave the house. Genuinely curious
I love you yesssss omg. I hate cat calling but back when I was on accutane and went out without makeup on I walked through downtown Oakland and didn't get catcalled which is like unheard of, but I'm normally snatched with a full face of glam makeup and i was like wooooow makeup really does effect how men treat me lol shit why was i offended i didn't get calcalled lololol i already thought i looked rachet but i was like wait the men of the streets agree that I'm rachet?? aw man haha
I died at your commentary on your old pics 😂 I was kinda living for some of your looks honestly. Girl why do we all secretly want everyone we pass on the street to be in love with us I'm glad I'm not the only psychopath why are we like this
kee preaching ab subverting standards helps cure the sadnessin themedia as a before for nose jobs or nose filler so its hard to accept as "normal" or pretty
I have ptsd and it always seems to affect how I view my body the most. I've put on some weight and every time I look at myself I feel disgusted. It doesn't help that I'm pale Irish living in Spain. I swear the women here are just born with model genetics. With summer approaching every woman I see has the perfect tan and body.Because it's so hot they're all half naked. I feel like a swollen tomato most of the time. I also wear baggy clothes too and now it's getting so hot I'm freaking out because I don't want anyone else to see my body :(
I don't think the message of "all men will disappoint you" is a healthy message to send out....... Like, I get where you're coming from but it just feels icky to leave that out there.
loving the mid video oscar acceptance speech hahahahah
Random but where did u get ur mug keelin?? I have been on the hunt for one like that for agesss
It’s my housemates it’s from anthropology!
@@KeelinMoncrieff thank u u wee legend x
This is unrelated, but do you have any supernatural experiences? I just wandered after what you said about ghosts judging you for doing affirmations! If you have any stories I’d love a video
Yes my original family home was haunted!! So I have loads
omg the universal sex center in the background of the second photo
could you do a video on book recs
or just talking about good books
1:24 Justin beiber moment
The Universal Sex Centre lmao what 16:16
Hahahahahahaa
Brilliant
love you
Love u 🌸❤️
15:20 you look like britney spears :o
wtf happened in the middle of this video ahahahahah
Wait what happened
@@KeelinMoncrieff no no I just mean like the segment where u start thanking everyone it’s so random I love it it’s hilarious
What’s your personality type?
omg the last pic is how u identified other brit girls on holiday between like 2009/11
Yehaw
neck scarf :P
Is no one gonna talk about the sex centre at 15:19
Wtf y’all look older on those pics? You broke the law of time I tell y’a
Yeah I think it might’ve been Cus I smoked Marlboro reds and my skincare routine was non existent, glass of water? Never heard of her till recently