the sounds that Mikey starts to make when Lee is being an asshole are really heartbreaking. I know he’s trying to antagonise him, but he just sounds like a wounded animal
The part where he was literally telling him to throw the fork? Yeah what a jerk. 🙄 I mean it’s one thing to keep telling a story over and over again yea that’s annoying to me but that other guy was a huge jerk and it was so inappropriate to bring it up on Christmas
I almost feel like that's the sound rotating and rotating around kn his head rather than him actually vocally making that noise - as if he's imagining that's the noise he's expressing, but really, it's just all in his head: pure, incomprehensible chaos. He's screaming into the void if you will.
Dat part. Right when she said go get the gun so I can blow my h*** off! I said oh.. this is hereditary.. and that’s when I knew this episode will get an Emmy. EVERYBODY WAS ACTING DOWN.
@@Mayonaise55I’ve had a few thanksgivings like this worse BPD mom and her dad took his life on thanksgiving. So it was always a mess and mom made Amazing food and now as an adult bachelor my whole life I do / all the cooking which I’m happy for the ptsd no not really but the meals were good mom always made at-least 5 pies her dad studied baking at France so she taught us and made exquisite pie crust
@@agentcooper4627PTSD makes one very vulnerable to developing other mental health concerns. PSTD is a diagnosable mental illness. I agree that Carm likely has PTSD and hopefully he gets support otherwise he’s vulnerable to developing the issues we saw with other members of his family.
As intense as this episode was, one cannot say there is no love between them. They just are too internally incapacitated to show it in healthy ways. I've never seen family dysfunction and generational trauma displayed with so much dignity, ironically
as someone who had a mother that was on her way to being at the level of Donna. I saw so much of my own mother in Donna and holy fuck I applaud her acting. I applaud EVERYONE's acting in this episode. I've been in Carmy's position. It's just such a well written episode. So anxiety inducing and uncomfortable. so fucking good.
Yes, she was. I thought at first Donna was a raging alcoholic then later while watching her performance, it became clear it was much more deeper than that. Especially in Episode 10.
@@naturistfredyes. You nailed it. Alcoholism can be a disease in itself. However, in this case it strongly appeared that Donna had a severe mental illness and the drinking/smoking were her attempts to self-medicate. They were symptoms of the problem. I say this because Donna was hauntingly, heartbreakingly like my own Mom. My two sisters and I experienced this growing up. Our Mom drank for a short time, but extreme chain smoking was her coping mechanism of choice. We always knew shit was about to go down when her drags on her cigarette got longer and more dramatic and when her sighs got deeper and shaky. This episode… damn.
Donna likely experienced trauma as a child. Perhaps in her household. It’s partly why she seems to seek out love in a childish “attention-seeking” manner. Her inner child is trying to get its needs met but doesn’t know how to do so in a functional way. This is how intergenerational trauma works and Donna was likely a victim before she became a victimizer.
This episode was brilliant and triggering for me, especially coming from a family with folks dealing with undiagnosed mental health issues. Mid-way through the episode I stopped it and told my partner I needed a breather because I really felt like I was in the story because of how similar it felt art times ny family’s holidays. In the dynamic I’m definitely similar to Carmy and his aunt. His aunt especially, where I get the sense she moved away and has a stable relationship/life but feels a sort of survivors guilt about it because it’s honestly only possible with boundaries and distance. 😢
I f’ing hate Christmas. Poor Americans get two holidays right beside each other! I don’t know how you do it. I tried so hard at Christmas and I’m done. It’s a nightmare if your family,like mine, are damaged alcoholics. I found this episode very tough going.
Gah so true boundaries and distance. Yeah the show kind of gives me anxiety even though my family wasn’t this bad my boyfriends dad was like her and abusive I’ve been trying to get him to watch the show I’m like omg he’s Carmy basically. 😩 and Camrys mom ugh….I don’t think her own mother or father loved her which is why she is the way she is
Lee I had to do the same pauses to take a breath because this triggered me … as I have experienced this too in my family life growing up. I made the decision many years ago to live initially 2000+ miles away from my siblings & home town for just this same reason. My mom would act out just like this (to get attention by acting like she was a victim) only difference she didn’t drive & was not an alcoholic.
3:10 I didnt realize this. This gives a lot more power to why in the season finale when Carm and Richie are arguing, why Richie is telling Carm that he loves him, and Carm doesnt take it. Also, a significant reason why Carm doesnt say I love you back. Its been used as a power move against him.
Sorry for the copyright! One of the most stressful tv episodes I have ever seen. Great analysis, especially Berzatto women's choice of husband, I could never see that relevance. Keep up with your good work!
This episode is superb and every actor/actress were flawless. This one fired on all cylinders from start to finish. I was thrilled to finally get some good screen time for Mikey/Jon Bernthal! I hope we still get some more flashbacks with him in Season 3, and I have to find out what the hell it is that Uncle Jimmy does.
This is gonna go down with the greatest episodes in television history. Every actor in the insane cast was off the charts but Jamie Lee Curtis holy s$&@. Absolutely mind blowing performance
I was thinking Donna probably has bipolar disorder from what I could pick up. Edit: I commented before you mentioned Bipolar. I’m a licensed mental health therapy and I think you did a great job identifying Donna’s possible disorder.
My mother also named Donna, suffered from bipolar disorder and the kitchen scene could have been any holiday in my youth. Before I was born in the 50's, she had suffered a nervous breakdown, which was kind of a generic term for "we don't understand what is wrong with her". She was treated with "tranquilizers" that left her numb and depressed so she would often skip them leading to manic episodes not quite as severe as driving a car into the house, but she did chase me into the yard with a knife when I was 12. She never really got the help she needed. So yeah, that whole episode hit me hard.
I think she's bipolar, but possibly has a personality disorder as well. On account of her emotional manipulation of those around her and especially her children, her attention seeking behavior, her constant need to pursue conflict for no reason. Valaritas speculated about whether her remarks about no one appreciating her and no one helping her are born of a deep resentment or just a guilt-tripping pity party for the sake of attention and sympathy, I think both things are true. I think she means what she's saying at least in the moment, but is also using guilt to manipulate people even if it isn't fully conscious. People offer her help about a million times and she loudly rejects it, but still she claims that no one helps her. She has to know on some level that what she is saying is unfair or false.
I think she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder with Bipolar. Especially when she didnt go into the restaurant. She made it about her and passed it off as doing her kids "a favor". She couldnt take their success not revolving around her. She knew she couldnt fake it and just sit there for them. She walked away.
This is my new favorite show right now. I’m so glad you did a breakdown of it. Um, it was an amazing break down I hope you get a chance to deep dive further into specific characters and moments in other episodes.
Carmy: this is why i didnt want to come home. This is why-- Mikey: hey! Donna: FK YOU! Carmy: what!? What the fk! 😂 I dont know why i found this scene so funny and anxious. Maybe because it reminds me of my family. it was such a great scene and what i love is the tidbits of comedy. I laughed at the carefully placed funny dialogue and felt anxious the whole time. 😅
This episode hit me in the feelings hard, I ended a relationship last year that had become toxic and emotionally abusive. My therapist specializes in BPD and had said while she can't diagnose someone who isn't her patient, the signs of BPD were there from my ex. This episode triggered so many deep-seated feelings and nailed it. The anxiety as you realize they're drinking more and more, the pendulum swing of emotion, then the terror as it erupts into an outburst. Then maybe you find some peace and they calm down, it seems okay, only to be followed by something even bigger and scarier. When Donna was grabbing Sugar's face and screaming at her... I burst into tears. I haven't seen anything on film capture that kind of pain before so relatably for me.
This episode was so well done. You could feel the tension in the room. As a child of a narcissistic, drug addict, alcoholic father (Geez that’s a mouthful) I resonate with the Berzatto children all too well.
One thing I am a bit confusing is that, the Berzattos are with chaos, but it seems many people like to join their family gathering / or being part of their family. Ex: Richie, Fak (even asks if they can stay over on Christmas Eve). Stevie seems likes this family a lot. Pete said "thank you for let me being part of this family" in S01. It's like the Berzattos have some kind kind of magic attraction?! It would be nice to see your opinions/analysis in another video. 🙂
Yes. Good food is the magical attraction. Food is what nourishes us and makes us feel love even if it’s created voraciously. Think about a bear hunting and eating as a metaphor. I’m just obsessed with these deep dives right now. Thanks everyone. ❤
I wonder if there might be a mob or organized crime connection. Def is hinted at that Unc Jimmy has some pull, and with the father not being around I wonder if Lane might be someone as a older leader in the family that their father might have been involved in. Even in season 1 Richie def knows a number of street members. It seems like a very closed off protective atmosphere that I associate with that type of life style. Everyone also seems to be somewhat afraid of or respectful to Lee except for Michael when he his high and even then it seems like there is a lot of resentment and not just upset about Lee being a jerk. Total speculation
They don’t have to live it constantly. It’s amusing, or entertaining, or somewhat endearing in those doses once or twice a year. I can tell you for a fact growing up in something strikingly similar, it is not. It is psychologically terrorizing and insidious- no one knows how to use guilt like Italian mothers. It creates massive damage, one that takes a lifetime to recognize and recover from, if at all. I ended up in the restaurant industry for 18 years. Most of us have a similar backstory. This show is scary accurate.
at first michaels comment about carmen only ever helping mom felt like throwing shade, but now that im seeing it again i feel like he actually said that to comfort and remind their mom that carmen is trying to help. i think he was genuinely trying to calm donna down. it also explains why he was taken aback when carmen asked if it was a shot. it wasnt
This episode should come wIth a preemptive warning for all those potential viewers who may be unduly triggered by seeing their familial dysfunction, writ large, displayed by a troupe of entertainment professionals, engaged in a joint endeavor cloaked as pop culture entertainment, that packs the heft of a cinematic neutron bomb, while delivering truths so powerful they leave craters in the hearts of anyone who innocently stumbled into it. Which is to say anyone who ever had or didn't have a family...
This was a hard watch. My own mother is a borderline personality alcoholic. I have anxiety because of childhood (eg my mother killed our dog with a punch; my mother chased me with a knife and I hid under the bed for a day). Christmas was hell and i don’t do it. I have GAD & PTSD. I tried to kill myself twice. I understand the sister desperately trying to keep her mother ok, even though the mother is a human nuke. I was blown away by this episode. I’ve never seen anything like it. Not even the Sopranos. It was horrible. I got triggered & 5 minutes later I was laughing at John Mulaney. It was exhausting! I don’t talk to anyone in my family. People who cut ties are not bad people. They just can’t take it anymore & are usually the people who tried hardest and family meant most to. What an epic episode of tv.
The generational trauma exposed here and its ongoing effects into the next generation is truly masterfully portrayed. There is a want to end it, but no-one person know how - pride, control, and a refusal to surrender is of biblical proportions and one only the true christmas story can solve. What a brave and potentially healing piece of communication this is for many broken and scarred families. Should be compulsory viewing for parents and older teens.
Omg what a triggering episode! Each character played their part brilliantly! I hate chaos, especially family chaos (having grown up with it for several years), but the actors nailed it. BTW, was that one of the forks Mike through that was stuck in the cannolis?? Brilliant!!
That’s a true alcoholic. The scene was intense.. she def suffers from alcoholism which essentially creates a lot of chaos and trauma that they likely grew up with hence the chaos.. dysfunction, always worrying about mom never feeling good enough. They all likely suffer from severe trauma and may have ptsd which is common in children growing up in such advisements
This episode is so insanely relatable that watching certain scenes was like getting punched in the gut. I already fight the anxiety the show gives, but this episode was chef's kiss. Their mother is so much my mother-in-law. Sadly, she watches this show and this was her favorite episode because of the mother. In my head I'm thinking, "you know thats you right? Its not cute."😅 I can never tell if that woman is evil or just oblivious.
Yeah the sounds Mikey made damnn tht shit hurts me too now , it feels like a bear mocking the individual who trapped it trying to fight as it slowly descends to death
The timer def serves as a powerful metaphor for the mounting tension and chaos within the restaurant and, more broadly, within Carmy's life. As the timer ticks down, the pressure on everyone involved intensifies, mirroring the emotional and mental strain Carmy's mother's explosive behavior places on him. The countdown can be seen as a countdown to a breaking point, both for the restaurant and for Carmy's relationship with his mother. It's a visually and emotionally striking way to represent the overwhelming stress and the potential for a catastrophic outcome.
The episode reminded me in palces of Shameless, inwhich of course Jeremy allen White also excels there. Anyone who saw the unforgettable Thanksgiving episode from its season 2 will know how utterly hard hitting and heartbreaking that show could be amidst the comical chaos. The constant feeling that something is gonna go down leading to a boiling point eruptive finale. This episode of The Bear was an exhilarating hour of television.
@@theredalpha7290 There are 11 seasons of it for you to lose yerself in. 👍 It is a remake of what was originally an English show about a family in Manchester living on social welfare benefits, and their ups , downs and more downs. But it was also fantastic and funny. The US Remake initially mimics some of the UKs original episides in its first season , albeit on a much bigger scale and budget. Then, it completely goes off on its own tangent with all new seasons of new stories. I love both versions. But hellyeah, if you like Jeremy in "The Bear"- just wait till you see him in Shameless.👍 The show is both hilarious and heartbreaking all and often at once. I cant recommend it enough, you will Love it!👍
I’ve just realised what this reminds me of, from when I lived in a high rise (mercifully, not forever) On Sunday afternoons, there were couples who you could set your watch by… No work…a ‘nice’ break…a ‘nice’ meal…a ‘ nice’ drink …just everything…so…’nice’ Actually, either too nice, or not nice enough? Why, they might have to practice real communication with each other! A friend is into the movies of Michael Heneke - very dark humour - & he’s quite familiar with the scenario of people beating the shit out of each other - to the strains of Jennifer Rush (why her, I don’t know - it just always is!) It’s Michael - his violence is to stop himself breaking under the strain: Carmy - the Creative - does what I think empaths do…he pulls back into himself (& away from his family), so that he’s ‘just looking at it’…& the coldness that replaces empathy is what tears him apart - survival mechanism though it is: I enjoyed your commentary - especially the stop-motion: but can you please lose the ‘music’ - it’s just an unpleasant distraction. Thanks 🙏🏽💔🙏🏻
Thanks, I quite enjoyed the vid and subscribed. I’m no psychologist either but to me, and this comes from watching friends I know who have the diseases, Donna has narcissistic personality disorder rather than borderline personality disorder, because she is more concerned about feeling offended rather than feeling anxious of offending others. Some fans said bipolar disorder because her heightened moods pitch and swing. I can see that. And you’re so right. Michelle’s and Nat’s marriage to their gentle partners really seem to anchor them. They anchor them. I suppose this is why so many of them are pushing Carmy toward Claire. But Syd is Carmy’s anchor. I don’t know if that means they’ll end up a romantic couple. But I’m glad they have each other the way they do now. And their dynamic is so interesting because both of them are fiery, but they still work.
Man, I would pay top money to see your reactions/reviews of Succession and The Sopranos. Generational family trauma shows FTW. I know there are a million-and-one analysis videos of them, but would love to see your take on those shows.
It’s hard to not have mental issues as an adult when you grow up in a such a toxic family (especially an alcoholic mother that does extreme negative things to get attention because she feels she deserves / entitled to it)!
Mom going crazy over cooking dinner is very familiar. My mom would always work herself into a frenzy over everything being perfect. But she would calm down after everything was made.
Holy actual dog fuck, Batman. This was an excellent video. I deeply enjoyed your take and I legitimately feel like it helped the way I watch the show. Thank you. Thank you. ❤
John Bernthal is freaking amazing actor. Of the i say newer generation of actors going back to mid 2000s. Jon Bernthal and Paul Dano are couple of my favs. Obviously there are lot of bigger names. Of the bigger names Joaquin phoenix Christian bale and Michael “freaking”Shannon are my top 3. John Bernthal thought damn. Loved him in walking dead. But his speech in court scene of daredevil when he was punisher blew him up to top of most talented actors. He can show his emotions like freaking crazy. I so hope we do get him back a the punisher one day. Just powerful actor. If havnt seen the court scene in daredevil series with him look it up.
Def giving my wife a big warning before this episode. All of Donna’s shit would definitely hit way too close to home. Her treatment of Nat was so disgusting, and too familiar.
There was a lot of bologna in this analysis, but a lot of truth, too. I'd say the notion that traumatized people leave room for others to lean on them but not enough room to lean on others is dead-on accurate.
That’s what I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and I can see myself in her at times but looking back I see my grandma in her ugh then we wonder why we have a mental illness lmao it’s like well yeah generations of our crappy family upbringing. But does she really have BPD or is it just the addictions Donna has? If she were to get sober would she change? I think it would be possible
In season 3 - it is implied Donna's mum may have been abusive. That's the thing with generational trauma - it passes down one generation to the next. Carmy himself was called 'Donna', and that hurts because it's true - his trauma has lead to him unable to emotionally connect to the people he's close with, so he ends up hurting them.
generational trauma. yeah this show definitely highlights what it does... now think about some of these communities out here in the very city this show takes place, with mfs shooting each other, its generational trauma on steroids. anyway, really amazing show. everyones so real and I love it in its entirety
You should see the trauma in the African countries then, mfs cannot find water to drink, earning $20 in a month, its generational trauma on steroids x10.
i mean this in the nicest way possible, please find new music and add more excitement or SOMETHING to your voice i kept double checking if your voice-over was one of those bogus ai reviews that plague this site
I'm confused by anyone liking this episode I love the show and I get the idea of making you feel the chaos they felt. I thought it was a cheap way to go into gear 5 and it was so over-the-top, unrealistic. I've hung out with every Walk of Life and I've never seen people act this way it was just trying to push your buttons and it was so contrived
You are incredibly lucky and I am truly very happy that you’ve never experienced this. That is a very good thing. This was my childhood. That was my Mom. While watching this episode I cried. Afterward I was sick to my stomach and physically drained.
I thought the same at the beginning of the episode and was starting to actually get a headache so I stopped the episode and continued later on. When I re watched this ep again it triggered me cuz my childhood was filled with chaos and people yelling and throwing stuff at each other, and having a mom who would breakdown at the slightest convenience but when me and my sisters would try to help she would either get mad or defensive that we were trying to help her so we would stop. So yeah this episode is TOTALLY RELATABLE to anyone who grew up in an unpredictable and chaotic childhood.
Lucky you. I grew up in such family. I moved overseas as soon as I can and I avoid visiting my parents as much as I can because of that. My 'holidays' with family just triggers anxiety and stress.
It was boring for me in the sense that this is the worst case scenarios that are playing in my head when my family get together. It took me 3-4 times to get through this episode.
the sounds that Mikey starts to make when Lee is being an asshole are really heartbreaking. I know he’s trying to antagonise him, but he just sounds like a wounded animal
like a bear??
@@soondslashoh damn
The part where he was literally telling him to throw the fork? Yeah what a jerk. 🙄 I mean it’s one thing to keep telling a story over and over again yea that’s annoying to me but that other guy was a huge jerk and it was so inappropriate to bring it up on Christmas
I almost feel like that's the sound rotating and rotating around kn his head rather than him actually vocally making that noise - as if he's imagining that's the noise he's expressing, but really, it's just all in his head: pure, incomprehensible chaos. He's screaming into the void if you will.
@@mariahconklin4150you know both Lee and Michael were equally wrong right
Michael and Carm inherited Donna's cooking skills, and her mental illness. ☹️
Dat part. Right when she said go get the gun so I can blow my h*** off! I said oh.. this is hereditary.. and that’s when I knew this episode will get an Emmy. EVERYBODY WAS ACTING DOWN.
I don't think Carm is mentally ill. He just has PTSD.
@@agentcooper4627at the very least, he's mentally unhealthy and he aknowledged it in the last episode.
@@Mayonaise55I’ve had a few thanksgivings like this worse BPD mom and her dad took his life on thanksgiving. So it was always a mess and mom made Amazing food and now as an adult bachelor my whole life I do / all the cooking which I’m happy for the ptsd no not really but the meals were good mom always made at-least 5 pies her dad studied baking at France so she taught us and made exquisite pie crust
@@agentcooper4627PTSD makes one very vulnerable to developing other mental health concerns. PSTD is a diagnosable mental illness. I agree that Carm likely has PTSD and hopefully he gets support otherwise he’s vulnerable to developing the issues we saw with other members of his family.
As intense as this episode was, one cannot say there is no love between them. They just are too internally incapacitated to show it in healthy ways. I've never seen family dysfunction and generational trauma displayed with so much dignity, ironically
Jamie Lee Curtis was phenomenal...
as someone who had a mother that was on her way to being at the level of Donna. I saw so much of my own mother in Donna and holy fuck I applaud her acting. I applaud EVERYONE's acting in this episode. I've been in Carmy's position. It's just such a well written episode. So anxiety inducing and uncomfortable. so fucking good.
@@forthrightjaguar3271
It reminds me my family too. I was terrified but also relieved that seeing there are other family's like mine...
Yes, she was. I thought at first Donna was a raging alcoholic then later while watching her performance, it became clear it was much more deeper than that. Especially in Episode 10.
Totally! At the end of the episode I thought two things-- she's getting awards and I cannot believe this acting was in television!
@@naturistfredyes. You nailed it. Alcoholism can be a disease in itself. However, in this case it strongly appeared that Donna had a severe mental illness and the drinking/smoking were her attempts to self-medicate. They were symptoms of the problem.
I say this because Donna was hauntingly, heartbreakingly like my own Mom. My two sisters and I experienced this growing up. Our Mom drank for a short time, but extreme chain smoking was her coping mechanism of choice. We always knew shit was about to go down when her drags on her cigarette got longer and more dramatic and when her sighs got deeper and shaky. This episode… damn.
the looped royalty free rock beat over the entire video made me wanna drive through my living room
THIS
Copyright
*starts video* hey, cool song
*immediately sees this comment* oh no
I can't unhear it.
First world problems lmao. Chill.
Donna likely experienced trauma as a child. Perhaps in her household.
It’s partly why she seems to seek out love in a childish “attention-seeking” manner. Her inner child is trying to get its needs met but doesn’t know how to do so in a functional way.
This is how intergenerational trauma works and Donna was likely a victim before she became a victimizer.
what you describe can be interpeted as a personality disorder
@@tonimedlen5371being childish isn’t a personality
@@brandon.dbeing childish can be a personality, but that’s not even what they said
This episode deserves all the awards.
This episode was brilliant and triggering for me, especially coming from a family with folks dealing with undiagnosed mental health issues. Mid-way through the episode I stopped it and told my partner I needed a breather because I really felt like I was in the story because of how similar it felt art times ny family’s holidays. In the dynamic I’m definitely similar to Carmy and his aunt. His aunt especially, where I get the sense she moved away and has a stable relationship/life but feels a sort of survivors guilt about it because it’s honestly only possible with boundaries and distance. 😢
This 💯 describes how I felt as well - too close to home. Brilliant episode.
I f’ing hate Christmas. Poor Americans get two holidays right beside each other! I don’t know how you do it. I tried so hard at Christmas and I’m done. It’s a nightmare if your family,like mine, are damaged alcoholics. I found this episode very tough going.
Gah so true boundaries and distance. Yeah the show kind of gives me anxiety even though my family wasn’t this bad my boyfriends dad was like her and abusive I’ve been trying to get him to watch the show I’m like omg he’s Carmy basically. 😩 and Camrys mom ugh….I don’t think her own mother or father loved her which is why she is the way she is
The brilliant camera work made you feel like you were right there in the middle of all that crazy chaos!! 😱
Lee I had to do the same pauses to take a breath because this triggered me … as I have experienced this too in my family life growing up.
I made the decision many years ago to live initially 2000+ miles away from my siblings & home town for just this same reason.
My mom would act out just like this (to get attention by acting like she was a victim) only difference she didn’t drive & was not an alcoholic.
This episode hit a spot which was honestly really specific. It legitimately felt like someone filmed one of the "bad" days at my place growing up
I couldn't agree more. Terrifyingly excellent acting!
Curtis’s performance is one of the more accurate portrayals of alcoholism I’ve seen on tv and hits way too close to home.
3:10 I didnt realize this. This gives a lot more power to why in the season finale when Carm and Richie are arguing, why Richie is telling Carm that he loves him, and Carm doesnt take it.
Also, a significant reason why Carm doesnt say I love you back. Its been used as a power move against him.
Sorry for the copyright! One of the most stressful tv episodes I have ever seen. Great analysis, especially Berzatto women's choice of husband, I could never see that relevance. Keep up with your good work!
This episode is superb and every actor/actress were flawless. This one fired on all cylinders from start to finish. I was thrilled to finally get some good screen time for Mikey/Jon Bernthal! I hope we still get some more flashbacks with him in Season 3, and I have to find out what the hell it is that Uncle Jimmy does.
This show is a masterpiece fr
This episode was so brutal I had to pause several time to take a break.
This is gonna go down with the greatest episodes in television history. Every actor in the insane cast was off the charts but Jamie Lee Curtis holy s$&@. Absolutely mind blowing performance
I was thinking Donna probably has bipolar disorder from what I could pick up.
Edit: I commented before you mentioned Bipolar. I’m a licensed mental health therapy and I think you did a great job identifying Donna’s possible disorder.
My mother also named Donna, suffered from bipolar disorder and the kitchen scene could have been any holiday in my youth. Before I was born in the 50's, she had suffered a nervous breakdown, which was kind of a generic term for "we don't understand what is wrong with her". She was treated with "tranquilizers" that left her numb and depressed so she would often skip them leading to manic episodes not quite as severe as driving a car into the house, but she did chase me into the yard with a knife when I was 12. She never really got the help she needed. So yeah, that whole episode hit me hard.
I think she's bipolar, but possibly has a personality disorder as well. On account of her emotional manipulation of those around her and especially her children, her attention seeking behavior, her constant need to pursue conflict for no reason. Valaritas speculated about whether her remarks about no one appreciating her and no one helping her are born of a deep resentment or just a guilt-tripping pity party for the sake of attention and sympathy, I think both things are true. I think she means what she's saying at least in the moment, but is also using guilt to manipulate people even if it isn't fully conscious. People offer her help about a million times and she loudly rejects it, but still she claims that no one helps her. She has to know on some level that what she is saying is unfair or false.
I think she believes it and no, does not know on some level. @@moonlily1
I think she has Narcissistic Personality Disorder with Bipolar. Especially when she didnt go into the restaurant. She made it about her and passed it off as doing her kids "a favor". She couldnt take their success not revolving around her. She knew she couldnt fake it and just sit there for them. She walked away.
I thought that she was cycling too quickly and it seemed more like BPD.
This episode hit deep. Welcome to Christmas Eve dinner with my Italian family (thankfully minus the car.)
When he brought the tuna casserole I almost died!! Pretty sure my heart stopped. Great show, great commentary from this channel! ❤
Thank you so much!
@@ValaritasYT you’re welcome! 🤗
This is my new favorite show right now. I’m so glad you did a breakdown of it. Um, it was an amazing break down I hope you get a chance to deep dive further into specific characters and moments in other episodes.
A full character analysis about Richie is on the way!
Also don’t forget, this episode is renowned for being shot with one take. That constant going take is what increases the tension and chaos too
Carmy: this is why i didnt want to come home. This is why--
Mikey: hey! Donna: FK YOU!
Carmy: what!? What the fk!
😂
I dont know why i found this scene so funny and anxious. Maybe because it reminds me of my family. it was such a great scene and what i love is the tidbits of comedy. I laughed at the carefully placed funny dialogue and felt anxious the whole time. 😅
This episode hit me in the feelings hard, I ended a relationship last year that had become toxic and emotionally abusive. My therapist specializes in BPD and had said while she can't diagnose someone who isn't her patient, the signs of BPD were there from my ex. This episode triggered so many deep-seated feelings and nailed it. The anxiety as you realize they're drinking more and more, the pendulum swing of emotion, then the terror as it erupts into an outburst. Then maybe you find some peace and they calm down, it seems okay, only to be followed by something even bigger and scarier. When Donna was grabbing Sugar's face and screaming at her... I burst into tears. I haven't seen anything on film capture that kind of pain before so relatably for me.
This episode was so well done. You could feel the tension in the room.
As a child of a narcissistic, drug addict, alcoholic father (Geez that’s a mouthful) I resonate with the Berzatto children all too well.
One thing I am a bit confusing is that, the Berzattos are with chaos, but it seems many people like to join their family gathering / or being part of their family. Ex: Richie, Fak (even asks if they can stay over on Christmas Eve).
Stevie seems likes this family a lot. Pete said "thank you for let me being part of this family" in S01.
It's like the Berzattos have some kind kind of magic attraction?!
It would be nice to see your opinions/analysis in another video. 🙂
Why not, I'd like to make more videos about the Bear!!
Yes. Good food is the magical attraction. Food is what nourishes us and makes us feel love even if it’s created voraciously. Think about a bear hunting and eating as a metaphor. I’m just obsessed with these deep dives right now. Thanks everyone. ❤
@@PIAZZAMel Thanks for your nice explanation 👍 Love it!
I wonder if there might be a mob or organized crime connection. Def is hinted at that Unc Jimmy has some pull, and with the father not being around I wonder if Lane might be someone as a older leader in the family that their father might have been involved in. Even in season 1 Richie def knows a number of street members. It seems like a very closed off protective atmosphere that I associate with that type of life style. Everyone also seems to be somewhat afraid of or respectful to Lee except for Michael when he his high and even then it seems like there is a lot of resentment and not just upset about Lee being a jerk. Total speculation
They don’t have to live it constantly. It’s amusing, or entertaining, or somewhat endearing in those doses once or twice a year. I can tell you for a fact growing up in something strikingly similar, it is not. It is psychologically terrorizing and insidious- no one knows how to use guilt like Italian mothers. It creates massive damage, one that takes a lifetime to recognize and recover from, if at all. I ended up in the restaurant industry for 18 years. Most of us have a similar backstory. This show is scary accurate.
at first michaels comment about carmen only ever helping mom felt like throwing shade, but now that im seeing it again i feel like he actually said that to comfort and remind their mom that carmen is trying to help. i think he was genuinely trying to calm donna down. it also explains why he was taken aback when carmen asked if it was a shot. it wasnt
This episode should come wIth a preemptive warning for all those potential viewers who may be unduly triggered by seeing their familial dysfunction, writ large, displayed by a troupe of entertainment professionals, engaged in a joint endeavor cloaked as pop culture entertainment, that packs the heft of a cinematic neutron bomb, while delivering truths so powerful they leave craters in the hearts of anyone who innocently stumbled into it. Which is to say anyone who ever had or didn't have a family...
i second this. i was very unprepared and very triggered. i will be talking to my therapist about this episode and the emotions it left me with.
@@tatianawalters2299 did not even experience this but was so triggered every second felt like a horror movie
Yep.@@definitelynotvj
This was a hard watch. My own mother is a borderline personality alcoholic. I have anxiety because of childhood (eg my mother killed our dog with a punch; my mother chased me with a knife and I hid under the bed for a day). Christmas was hell and i don’t do it. I have GAD & PTSD. I tried to kill myself twice. I understand the sister desperately trying to keep her mother ok, even though the mother is a human nuke.
I was blown away by this episode. I’ve never seen anything like it. Not even the Sopranos. It was horrible. I got triggered & 5 minutes later I was laughing at John Mulaney. It was exhausting!
I don’t talk to anyone in my family. People who cut ties are not bad people. They just can’t take it anymore & are usually the people who tried hardest and family meant most to.
What an epic episode of tv.
The generational trauma exposed here and its ongoing effects into the next generation is truly masterfully portrayed. There is a want to end it, but no-one person know how - pride, control, and a refusal to surrender is of biblical proportions and one only the true christmas story can solve. What a brave and potentially healing piece of communication this is for many broken and scarred families. Should be compulsory viewing for parents and older teens.
Omg what a triggering episode! Each character played their part brilliantly! I hate chaos, especially family chaos (having grown up with it for several years), but the actors nailed it. BTW, was that one of the forks Mike through that was stuck in the cannolis?? Brilliant!!
That’s a true alcoholic. The scene was intense.. she def suffers from alcoholism which essentially creates a lot of chaos and trauma that they likely grew up with hence the chaos.. dysfunction, always worrying about mom never feeling good enough. They all likely suffer from severe trauma and may have ptsd which is common in children growing up in such advisements
Oh my goodness, this is very similar to my generational trauma.
Reminds me of my mom & my family. So very sad. It destroys people, families & generations.
This episode is so insanely relatable that watching certain scenes was like getting punched in the gut. I already fight the anxiety the show gives, but this episode was chef's kiss. Their mother is so much my mother-in-law. Sadly, she watches this show and this was her favorite episode because of the mother. In my head I'm thinking, "you know thats you right? Its not cute."😅 I can never tell if that woman is evil or just oblivious.
Yeah the sounds Mikey made damnn tht shit hurts me too now , it feels like a bear mocking the individual who trapped it trying to fight as it slowly descends to death
I powered through the series in the last two weeks and I was glad this episode was given enough time to spill out.
Really like your explanations about Stevie & Pete, and their relationships with Michelle & Nat.
If Valaritas making a video essay about any TV show or movie, you definitely see that and this is what I am gonna do!
You won't be disappointed.
This episode got me more stressed than The Red Wedding from Game of Thrones.
Minus the smoking and alcohol, i saw my own mother in this episode...
The timer def serves as a powerful metaphor for the mounting tension and chaos within the restaurant and, more broadly, within Carmy's life. As the timer ticks down, the pressure on everyone involved intensifies, mirroring the emotional and mental strain Carmy's mother's explosive behavior places on him.
The countdown can be seen as a countdown to a breaking point, both for the restaurant and for Carmy's relationship with his mother. It's a visually and emotionally striking way to represent the overwhelming stress and the potential for a catastrophic outcome.
The episode reminded me in palces of Shameless, inwhich of course Jeremy allen White also excels there. Anyone who saw the unforgettable Thanksgiving episode from its season 2 will know how utterly hard hitting and heartbreaking that show could be amidst the comical chaos. The constant feeling that something is gonna go down leading to a boiling point eruptive finale. This episode of The Bear was an exhilarating hour of television.
Oh god I need to watch shameless. Heard so many good things and I love Jeremy Allen White.
@@theredalpha7290 There are 11 seasons of it for you to lose yerself in. 👍 It is a remake of what was originally an English show about a family in Manchester living on social welfare benefits, and their ups , downs and more downs. But it was also fantastic and funny.
The US Remake initially mimics some of the UKs original episides in its first season , albeit on a much bigger scale and budget. Then, it completely goes off on its own tangent with all new seasons of new stories. I love both versions.
But hellyeah, if you like Jeremy in "The Bear"- just wait till you see him in Shameless.👍 The show is both hilarious and heartbreaking all and often at once. I cant recommend it enough, you will Love it!👍
The episode got so fucked I forgot the episode started off so wholesome
great video, you are gonna be huge one day.
1 word: TRAUMA. THE MOTHER SUFFERED TRAUMA. UNBEARABLE TRAUMA.
I’ve just realised what this reminds me of, from when I lived in a high rise (mercifully, not forever)
On Sunday afternoons, there were couples who you could set your watch by…
No work…a ‘nice’ break…a ‘nice’ meal…a ‘ nice’ drink
…just everything…so…’nice’
Actually, either too nice, or not nice enough? Why, they might have to practice real communication with each other!
A friend is into the movies of Michael Heneke - very dark humour - & he’s quite familiar with the scenario of people beating the shit out of each other - to the strains of Jennifer Rush (why her, I don’t know - it just always is!)
It’s Michael - his violence is to stop himself breaking under the strain: Carmy - the Creative - does what I think empaths do…he pulls back into himself (& away from his family), so that he’s ‘just looking at it’…& the coldness that replaces empathy is what tears him apart - survival mechanism though it is:
I enjoyed your commentary - especially the stop-motion: but can you please lose the ‘music’ - it’s just an unpleasant distraction. Thanks
🙏🏽💔🙏🏻
Just made the connection between that scene at the table, with Mickey screaming like an animal and the first bear dream sequence in the season 1
Thanks, I quite enjoyed the vid and subscribed.
I’m no psychologist either but to me, and this comes from watching friends I know who have the diseases, Donna has narcissistic personality disorder rather than borderline personality disorder, because she is more concerned about feeling offended rather than feeling anxious of offending others.
Some fans said bipolar disorder because her heightened moods pitch and swing. I can see that.
And you’re so right. Michelle’s and Nat’s marriage to their gentle partners really seem to anchor them. They anchor them. I suppose this is why so many of them are pushing Carmy toward Claire. But Syd is Carmy’s anchor. I don’t know if that means they’ll end up a romantic couple. But I’m glad they have each other the way they do now. And their dynamic is so interesting because both of them are fiery, but they still work.
All the guest actors this ep killed (Jaime Lee, Bob O, Sarah P) they all crushed It.
Man, I would pay top money to see your reactions/reviews of Succession and The Sopranos. Generational family trauma shows FTW. I know there are a million-and-one analysis videos of them, but would love to see your take on those shows.
It’s hard to not have mental issues as an adult when you grow up in a such a toxic family (especially an alcoholic mother that does extreme negative things to get attention because she feels she deserves / entitled to it)!
I just got done Watching Both Seasons and... Holy Shit This is Easily My Favorite Episode.
It was just So Fucking Crazy.
My favorite show!
Mom going crazy over cooking dinner is very familiar. My mom would always work herself into a frenzy over everything being perfect. But she would calm down after everything was made.
There were a few episodes that gave me intense anxiety and this was one of them.
Holy actual dog fuck, Batman. This was an excellent video. I deeply enjoyed your take and I legitimately feel like it helped the way I watch the show. Thank you. Thank you. ❤
Actually Shane was mad at Saul Goodman became he wouldn't let him tell him something
I’m guessing this hit home with many. Maybe not to this degree, but maybe so. What did Hemingway say about being broken?
This is what addiction does to families.
Great video
Please change the background song whenever it finishes
Disney should learn about this
John Bernthal is freaking amazing actor. Of the i say newer generation of actors going back to mid 2000s. Jon Bernthal and Paul Dano are couple of my favs. Obviously there are lot of bigger names. Of the bigger names Joaquin phoenix Christian bale and Michael “freaking”Shannon are my top 3. John Bernthal thought damn. Loved him in walking dead. But his speech in court scene of daredevil when he was punisher blew him up to top of most talented actors. He can show his emotions like freaking crazy. I so hope we do get him back a the punisher one day. Just powerful actor. If havnt seen the court scene in daredevil series with him look it up.
Nice to be your member!
Welcome aboard!
Such sad and relatable content here… but… Jon Bernthal is so hot
I was waiting for Donna to go shoot herself up stairs or at the table
Sounds like classic alcoholic family trauma.
This show is considered a comedy. Just baffling lol
I know, right?!?
@@samfan3117 I think I have smirked a few times watching this show but it is clearly a drama series.
I also think Mickey has BPD as well you can just tell
Great insights as always! I wish you could talk about Richie tho... :(
I want to dedicate a full video essay on Richie!
@@ValaritasYT Waiting sirrrr!
👌
You may find it interesting too. "The Bear Season 2 Did Something Different, Subtly."
ruclips.net/video/ISCk-b7Vw3M/видео.html
I think Carmy blocked out what Lee said in this fight because of what happened around it.
And remember this season has a 99% on rt cause a guy thought the season was noisy and boring.
I've hear this is a show about a Mom who is narcissistic and the result of that.
Def giving my wife a big warning before this episode. All of Donna’s shit would definitely hit way too close to home. Her treatment of Nat was so disgusting, and too familiar.
There was a lot of bologna in this analysis, but a lot of truth, too. I'd say the notion that traumatized people leave room for others to lean on them but not enough room to lean on others is dead-on accurate.
That’s what I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder and I can see myself in her at times but looking back I see my grandma in her ugh then we wonder why we have a mental illness lmao it’s like well yeah generations of our crappy family upbringing. But does she really have BPD or is it just the addictions Donna has? If she were to get sober would she change? I think it would be possible
thats good
What’s all the damage from? The dad?
In season 3 - it is implied Donna's mum may have been abusive.
That's the thing with generational trauma - it passes down one generation to the next. Carmy himself was called 'Donna', and that hurts because it's true - his trauma has lead to him unable to emotionally connect to the people he's close with, so he ends up hurting them.
It was certainly triggering!
Parts of this episode felt too familiar
generational trauma.
yeah this show definitely highlights what it does... now think about some of these communities out here in the very city this show takes place, with mfs shooting each other, its generational trauma on steroids.
anyway, really amazing show. everyones so real and I love it in its entirety
You should see the trauma in the African countries then, mfs cannot find water to drink, earning $20 in a month, its generational trauma on steroids x10.
Donna, the mother, is a textbook narcissist. I know this dynamic pretty well, unfortunately.
Great analysis.
I have to say, your choice of music really takes away from the rest of your video.
That house probably hot af with all those people in there
👏🏻👏🏻❤️❤️❤️
My only problem with this video, very short
💖💖
👍👍
Let it rip
The actress who plays Claire looks exactly like Jenna Ortega it is wild
To me, Donna seemed like a narcissist. Reminded me of my own mother. Amplified ofc, because Donna also struggles with alcoholism.
👍
i mean this in the nicest way possible, please find new music and add more excitement or SOMETHING to your voice i kept double checking if your voice-over was one of those bogus ai reviews that plague this site
good thoughtpiece tho
BOOK
I'm confused by anyone liking this episode I love the show and I get the idea of making you feel the chaos they felt. I thought it was a cheap way to go into gear 5 and it was so over-the-top, unrealistic. I've hung out with every Walk of Life and I've never seen people act this way it was just trying to push your buttons and it was so contrived
You are incredibly lucky and I am truly very happy that you’ve never experienced this. That is a very good thing.
This was my childhood.
That was my Mom.
While watching this episode I cried. Afterward I was sick to my stomach and physically drained.
I thought the same at the beginning of the episode and was starting to actually get a headache so I stopped the episode and continued later on. When I re watched this ep again it triggered me cuz my childhood was filled with chaos and people yelling and throwing stuff at each other, and having a mom who would breakdown at the slightest convenience but when me and my sisters would try to help she would either get mad or defensive that we were trying to help her so we would stop. So yeah this episode is TOTALLY RELATABLE to anyone who grew up in an unpredictable and chaotic childhood.
Lucky you. I grew up in such family. I moved overseas as soon as I can and I avoid visiting my parents as much as I can because of that. My 'holidays' with family just triggers anxiety and stress.
I’m 34, my dad is 80. When I recently visited, I had to run out of my house because he was trying to hit me. Lucky you.
The music in the the background of yout video drowns out anything you're saying or any point you're trying to make.
They’re italians, “Berzatto”.
Pronounce, more or less: Birds- at -tall
please
Most boring episode ever they lost me.
It was boring for me in the sense that this is the worst case scenarios that are playing in my head when my family get together. It took me 3-4 times to get through this episode.