Something similar happened to me at a job quite a while back. I trusted someone and got outed. She didnt understand that it wasnt her place to do that. She kept saying “so what who cares? No one does. Stop worrying”…she had it ALL wrong! I did quit that job the next day. Like you, I was humiliated and embarrassed. I wasnt afraid of people knowing. I was (and still am) afraid of being beaten up or killed. I can walk away from name calling but not necessarily violence and you just never know what outing someone can cause for that person. I still am very selective about who gets the PRIVILEGE of knowing my soul. Thanks for your video!
Same. Then everyone started me of sexuallyHarassing men at work. Everyone started looking at me like I was aRapist. I felt so uncomfortable. I had to quit.
The Exact same thing happened to me in 1981. Rather than run from the “gossip”, I embraced it. I even had a teacher try to have me removed from a Christian School Club, that I was President of. She lost, my Principal stood up for me. My ex bestie even told our Quaterback that I had a crush on him. He called me out about it. And I told him yes. That became my highest ranking in H.S. Popularity. My father had always told me, to not give the bullies the reaction that they were after. It worked, for me.
Currently looking at other peoples stories because I got outed last week. I’ve never felt more judged and ashamed than I do now. It feels violating to have someone share something so personal about you, I’m happy I’ve got supportive friends but my parents are 50/50 about it. Being outed has put me in an uncomfortable and almost dehumanising position where I feel my identity has been taken away from me, and I’m not a person anymore to many of my peers. Thank you for sharing, it feels good to know I’m not alone.
I hope you're doing, and feeling, a bit better now. Just remember Dr. Suess: Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind. I wish you well.
remain true to yourself, you'll find your tribe, it gets better....it does. be honest with yourself, honest with other people and you'll have nothing, nothing, to be ashamed of. much love on your journey.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, and I hope you’re in a good place these months later. I don’t know where you live, but make it a goal to move some place progressive where gay people are accepted, and if you can’t do that then seek them out online like you’re doing now. Don’t let a bully define you or take away your hope for building the community that you need. You can see from Luke’s example that it gets better!
I wish you didn't have to experience that and it breaks my heart that someone could be so cruel! The world needs less bullies who cause so much pain and more people like you. So proud of you xxxx
@@Inthemiddleofit that’s in your mind. Acceptance doesn’t imply anything in particular other than that it’s something someone has an attitude of allowing for, as opposed to rejection. I accept that I’m a human breathing air right now, it’s not because I think air is immoral. Your shadows don’t define how other people live, they define how you perceive and they can be worked on.
It's disgraceful for someone to out you without your permission, particularly since they were supposed to be your friend. Some people make your life better when they enter, others make it better when they leave. I hope you have removed this toxic person from your life. I'm much older, but I was accused of being gay at school in the 70s, even when I wasn't sure myself. The accusation was enough to make everybody hate me. I was bullied constantly and was declared by the headmaster to be the most hated boy in the school. I have suffered PTSD ever since. Fortunately, I have a husband who has loved me dearly for the last 22 years.
I’m so sorry . You went through so much to be able to be your authentic self and I send you much respect and love . In the 70’s (USA) I was soft spoken, skinny , effeminate and shy . I got called a f*g practically everyday even before I came out. The one out gay kid in my school stood at my locker with my best friend (still best after 47 yrs) and shouted ‘Jon you have homosexual tendencies ‘ to the entire quad of students passing by. He was comfortable with himself . I didn’t want to be gay because my dad hated gays. My classmates hated gays . I didn’t want to lose my straight friend (and yeah, he was all game for hot girls all the time which was somewhat irritating ) I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into the hall by the bathroom and screamed in his face ‘don’t say that about me Clyde!’ I was shaking and I knew I could be killed by those students and the teachers would ignore my body lying on the ground d because that’s how it was in a fundamentalist small town like ceres, ca in 1976. I survived but the cost was brutal. I abused alcohol, drugs, and even hurt myself with a knife trying to please society , my classmates, my psycho fundamentalist father .. finally came out at 19 and fell for a Frenchman . Painful breakup . An amazing relationship at 25 with a Castro clone (San Francisco muscle daddy) for 8 years. I met my husband of 25 in 1998 and we were registered DP’s in 1999 . We were finally married in 2020 at the palace of fine arts in SF, CA. What a loving and amazing life we have had. Glad you have found your prince as well 🙏😊
Some things can not be walked back. There is no excuse for intentionally hurting someone this way. You are right to have taken him out of your life. I recently dropped a platonic friendship of several decades because of her sudden shift to toxic behavior towards me. Moving on is essentail. Best to you.
It’s very hard when you lose the confidence to confide in someone who you put total trust in when you were trying to be completely honest in sharing a very personal part of your life. You truly find out who is or is not your friend. Thanks for sharing your story!
I'm so glad you were able to come out to your parents at 15 y/o. I'm older and grew up with a dad who was a career Army officer and a very Catholic mother. I eventually ended getting married after the first man, who was my lover, was killed in a small plane crash. Well, my wife ended up outing me to my parents and siblings. Not a happy time for me as you can imagine. Enough of me. You sure developed into a wonderful, interesting, very handsome and beautiful man. Hugs
You don't think that was a happy time for your wife, do you? She outed you? How did she knows? You just tell her 'Oh, dear, don't forget to buy milk and also I'm gay, surprise! Please don't tell my mother'. Or she eventually caught you on the parking lot with the mormon boy?
I’m so sorry that happened to you Luke. You’re a beautiful , strong man with a clear understanding of who you are . That ‘friend’ was clearly uncomfortable with who he was and his insecurity lead him to try to hide by hurting you and perhaps ‘covering his own tracks’ if that’s fair . Sometimes I had people who would introduce me as their ‘gay’ friend . That told me loads about how insecure they were and wanted everyone to know that ‘they weren’t gay’ but I was . Those unhealthy , toxic people leave an opening for good , healthy people who love and respect you to come into the open space they left . Don’t let the door hit ya is the old saying 🙏. So glad I found your channel . Let the good people come . Encourage the toxic ones to hurry on out . Be well ❤
I came out to a friend, a really good girl friend after my first year of college. We had been great friends through all years of school. She seemed quite taken aback. Years later, I ran into a friend from high school coming out of a gaybar in Toronto. we had a long lovely chat. He told me that she had told everyone that I knew. I haven't seen her since but I hope she has had a miserable life. It really had an effect on a lot of friendships.
The cliche that “‘hurt people’ hurt people” exists for a reason. If she had been happy with her own life, she never would have betrayed your confidence. She was probably reacting to some pain in her own life that you’ll never even discover the details about.
I like your attitude. F- em because they aren’t going to be there when you need them. Also, you said you were 15 when this happened, I would surmise your “friend” was around your age too. That being said, reality is you were both growing, learning about life. So, though your friend was wrong you both learn lessons about life. Happy for you, knowing what you want in life is very important.
I’m 74 in back in my day it was very difficult to come out. I was in a relationship for 11 years with a police officer, and he was killed in the line of duty. No it’s 74 I’m looking again……. Is this wrong…❤ this is the gay life. You are your own best friend and remember that people come and go best friends come and go and someday you will come and go. Be kind to yourself and others.
I went through high school as a closeted young man. I didn't have any obvious mannerisms so it was easy. I can only think of one other guy (out of 1400 students at this school) who was known to be gay. He wasn't a big flammer but it was talked about, especially by the sports/jocks guys. He was a real good looking guy too. I often though of making advances towards him. Amyway, I'm in my 50s now and pretty much still am not out at work nor to my family. Mom and dad have passed away and we never had the conversation. Not sure I feel about that. But I will say that gay haters are still out there in massive numbers. I work with many of them.
I know this is a really old video, but I agree with other commenters - I wish you would have a follow up and talked about how you are now. That is SO horrible what your friend did to you! I can't imagine that happening at that young age (or any age when you aren't ready). How awful. I'm glad you are apparently doing well now. All the best to you. 🙌🏽 ❤
I agree with you completely. If someone doesn’t accept you then you don’t need them in your life. When I was a teenager I always tried to explain why I was gay and my experiences in dealing with it in hopes people would be more understanding. For some people they already had there mind made up and were hateful no matter what I said. I desperately wanted to be accepted for who I was. Now, at forty years old, I don’t care. I’m not going to justify my identity to anyone. You either like me as I am or you don’t. That’s the healthy attitude to have. I just wish I would have figured it out when I was younger. It would of saved me some heartache and stress. Thanks for making the video. I think there are people out there that need to hear it.
Jeremiah Fawver thanks for watching dude. It’s a hard lesson to learn and put in practice. I still struggle with it from time to time. I’m glad you’re happy. That’s the most important thing
Not sure how a 6y old video got recommended to me but I’m glad it did. Other comments say you haven’t been seen since then so I really hope you’re doing ok and life is treating you well. Truly wishing you the best.
You did well on this, Luke. You described your feelings so clearly. It is obvious you have spent a lot of time processing the pain. You didn't have to make this video, so I am assuming you did it to help others. Thank you on behalf of the many who will find hope in your story. Peace, brother.
Luke, I had a similar experience in the 1970's, except they also burned a cross in my yard! I never saw the burning cross. Somehow, my parents kept it from me. The experience of an entire school knowing about the conspiracy but me was deflating. I did not stop participating in things that interested me, but I did not socialize with but a few of my peers. You are quite brave and I respect your decision to reveal these sour moments as it will be cathartic to many who hear your heartfelt words. Be you Luke, the world thanks you for your authenticity. Blessings always!
Never mind got over it became a genuine person, and lived the life of your dreams , thanks for the story certainly something to mull over , all the best .
Sorry you had to go through that. About that age one of my friends asked if I was gay, but I denied it. At that time it was the right thing to do because I really hadn't accepted myself. I'm glad you accepted yourself at that age when you came out. Too bad your friend really didn't accept you. Thank you for sharing your story.
I'm sooooo sorry that happened to you. Being outed is the worst. I will never understand why people have a hard time with simple common decency, you just don't share stuff told to you with other people....I'm so sorry. If we ever meet, I'll give you a hug.
Thank you! I'm glad you made this video because I'm sure it has saved many lives, and will save more in the future. Bless you for your kind heart and beautiful personality. 😍😍❤❤
I’m sure you are tired of this he wasn’t/isn’t your best friend. You are so strong without realizing it then or now. I can definitely relate to the comment about crying reading this. I had a friend a year younger than me, while walking home. Halfway he was approached by 3 delinquents, that curb stomped him. He lost all of his teeth. I’m not telling you to hide, I am saying you are absolutely correct. By being cautious as we all should. I’m very proud of you.
Nothing worse than a betrayal of trust especially by someone you considered a best friend. At the time it’s hard but when you look back he did you a favour! Now you can live your life!! How do I know this - take a guess!! 🙂 Thanks for sharing your story 👌👍 Hope all is good with you 🤝
Oh Luke, as I listened with tears rolling down my face, I totally got you. I was always the school clown, it covered so many things. I had a lot of friends, especially girls. Because I understand them. I remember on my last day of high school, walking home with a couple of the girls. One said “ Geoff I reckon your going to be homosexual or a dirty old man. Well the latter was never going to be, and I had had feelings for guys since the age of 10 years old. Although in the 60s I never knew what those feelings were, and mucking around with other guys was quite natural. As it was kissing girls. I’m now 63, been in a relationship for 42 years, worked in gay bars. Got so many loving friends, that I’m so blessed. Life is a journey, a learning experience to embrace. May your life be filled with joy Luke. With a few curved balls thrown in there, cause without them, we never grow to really appreciate our wonderful our world really is. Much love and hugs my brother. Geoff ❤️❤️❤️
Have watched several of you posts on yt. A pity that you’ve not had any new posts since that time six years ago. Was fun and entertaining to watch your posts. Would be interesting to see where you are six years later.
Same thing. It's what children do. To compound things, I went to a small country school of a total of only 500 students, and for the remaining three years was physically, verbally and emotionally tormented by both the faculty and students. What it did, was make me tough and helped me appreciate how great life became when I left that country town. It also forced me out, which in my generation I am certain I never would have done. In employment, I always used it to my advantage. I would tell one person, and before I got back to my desk full well knew the entire organization knew! No more questions about "who are you dating?" lol Stay strong, beautiful boy. Nothing in this life happens by accident.
Never feel ashamed of who you are ! I came out at aged 16 to my parents whilst in a psychiatric unit. They didn’t quite understand it and being Roman Catholic and voting Conservative, they thought it was a passing phase. Six months later, I’d gone to speak a my parish priest regarding raising funds for the church organ fund and I ended up coming out to him because I needed extra support. When I got home and told my mum, she cried, so I cried with her, then she asked me if I’d like to tell my dad or her - I let her ! After about an hour I came down feeling as though I’d brought shame on the family and I expected my dad to throw me out. He told me to never be ashamed for what I am and that I was still his son and that he will always love me for that ! My parents had meetings with that priest I’d come out to and they accepted me for who I am. I told my older siblings over a period of about 2 years only because not all of them are local to me. They’ve both long since passed away now, dad 32 years ago and mum 24. I’ll be 55 this year.
I had something like this happen to me after I hit on my best friend in high school. He told my whole year and by the next morning I had been completely ostracised, even by the few friends I had. I was already being bullied, at an all boy Catholic school (go figure), but this incident made my life even worse. I hated going to school and was almost suicidal by the time I left. It has had a significant impact on my adult life and now, over 20 years later, I am learning just how much a decade of bullying has framed my life, the way I trust, how I interact with people and why my daily life is riddles with self-doubt. If I could go back and change those years I would do it in an instant. People need to take full responsibility for the way they treat others and more importantly, they need to think deeply before they speak or act, even if they don't immediately understand the affect it might have on person on the receiving end.
You were the kind of 15 year old I'd've befriended in a heartbeat because of what had happened to you. I'm just the kind that was always found among the outcast, weird, isolated, or "undesirable" or "unpopular". They make for the BEST friends ever.
We should all get to choose when we come out. It’s nerve wracking. Even in these new times. I think you are totally right. You don’t need people in your life who will judge you for things you can’t help or can’t change. It’s a big favour they are doing for you actually, weeding out those numpties who aren’t going to value add to your life and only bring you down.
I have no clue of your age my Niece I raised from the time I was 14. I finally shared with a past high school friend. How because of how nice, fun, and friendly she was. It saved me from taking the stairs to the Interstate Toll Bridge to jump. Also, my Niece 😊 being born saved me. I’ve experienced a lot of experiences many people never will. However, I find myself trying to deal with my feelings of not doing enough. I just got off the phone with my doctor’s receptionist. She told me thanks 😊 for making her laugh so much today. I try my best to do that everyday there’s so much unnecessary hurt, sorrow, and feelings of inferiority. Always share your stories and make at least one person’s day brighter day. Thank you so much 😊 for having the courage and strength to share. Daniel
@@abdeton1899 Such an unfair opinion. Everyone is allowed their beliefs. If you don’t constantly dwell on it, it comes back much faster. (I have made other comments and had them deleted. So feel free to rid this as well).
Luke, I'm sorry that you had that experience. While not desirable, it's good that your "friend" showed you who he really is sooner than later. The truth is that he betrayed you and is not the man that he misrepresented himself to be. Good on you for moving forward and being able to openly share about this experience pkus expose insecure individuals like this guy.
That's shit, and you're right. Coming out is a personal choice. Im very glad your family was there for you. Did anyone at school step up to support you? I was kinda outed in college, but only to friends of my roommate (whod found a playgirl). Luckily for me, those friends must have kept it a close secret so it didnt go viral. But, you so go around expecting to be hurt, which as you've said, is horrible at any age, butcespecially at the beginning of being an adult. Kudos for getting through that.
I came out to my sister first when I was 19, then my mum, they were OK, my family supported me. In the early 70’s it was tougher then than now, I think. After that I lead my life and only if asked I said, no reason to say otherwise. I’ve worked in the Middle East for many, many years and I’ve been OK, don’t believe all you read or hear about the Middle East (Gulf). Thanks for sharing your story.
You made it through. Thanks! I outted a dear friend our senior year in high school to his mother for completely different reasons. My friend had begun seeing a much older adult man in his late 30s. This was in 1989 and the HIV/ AIDS epidemic was rampant in America (still is). I was terrified because my friend began living with this guy who was known in all the bars as very sexually active man. My friend was experimenting with drugs and had just spun out of control. One day I summoned the courage to call his mother who was very kind to me and just a wonderful woman in general. I debated it for weeks but I was so afraid for my friend. I remember calling her and telling her everything-everything!! She thanked me but I felt horrible-like I betrayed my friend. I remember him phoning me and saying I ruined his life. I was in tears but we actually managed to remain friends. Now, over 30 years later we’re still friends though not best friends like we were in high school. Looking back I have no regrets. I did what I did because I cared not because I was jealous or mean spirited. Thanks for your very different story. Btw I was outted in college by the one and only guy I had fooled around with. It was the best thing because all these handsome “straight” guys began coming on to me randomly at school and it ended up with me making very nice friendships with guys who couldn’t come out but wanted to have some kind of intimacy without fear. So there’s that. 😂. Be well and thanks again.
So sick of the drama of coming out - I did it decades ago and it's heartbreaking some peeps are STILL having a tough time of it. I wish I were younger and in your circle - we'd have gotten on famously Don't worry about being flamboyant, express it, integrate it - you'll learn when it's appropriate to let it shine with your hot, handsome self - you're wonderful and don't let anyone tell you different
I remember my sister outing me to 2 other family members after I had a mental health breakdown. Not the best of times to tell them, but thank god she didn't tell everyone in my homophobic neighbourhood. The best of luck to you buddy. 👍
That happened to me at work when I was in my 20s. I moved to another state to get a fresh start, because everything became intolerable after that. It sucks!
2015. Mine happened in 1995 at 15 in KY. The only thing I had going for me was I was 6'2, had a huge ego, & could fight. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Mine was just a friend, not my BFF. That sucks! Screw him. I'd love to know where they both are now. I know I'm 1000x better off. Thanks for the story!
For every negative thing that happens to you, you can alway looks back and see the positive. They help shape the person are now. They make you know what not to do and how to treat others. It creates a greater sense on empathy. The kindest, most generous, compassionate people in the world has the highest sense empathy. He may have done you a favor.
I'm part of the "outed" club. My late-ex-brother-in-law outed me to my family. I survived. Sometime later I told him not to feel bad for outing me... it was the best thing that ever happened to me. He cried. I really don't know how long it would have taken me to put myself out of my misery by coming out myself. He was worthless and had ill-intent towards me but my family's love for me foiled his efforts. I like to think that I kinda took the high-road on that one. Food for thought. Lot of healing in forgiveness.
I'm sorry such a rotten thing happened to you. I'm sure that it made you a stronger person. Looking back at my high school years, I remember how cruel kids can be at that age. I think the best thing you can do is to forgive that guy who you thought was your friend...not for his sake but for your own. This does not mean you need to involve him in your life again. Karma will eventually catch up with him. God made you who you are. Be proud!
Came out at 16 back in the 80s . Have only hid my sexuality once and it was for about a week at a new job but now everyone knows. I have had old friends that didn't like it and new friends that could care less about it. I have found that the ones who stick by your side are worth keeping and the ones who worry about what it means to have a gay friend are not worth keeping. You definitely are right and hopefully it helps someone.
I am so sorry you had to experience that mean and nasty treatment by your friend that you trusted and also all of the others who treated you differently. Makes me angry. Wishing you well!
Well Mr Luke, if you're still here and I hope you're all fit and well? It IS a despicable thing to do and it IS a big deal to get betrayed in that manor. Kudos to you and anybody going through that.
You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are who you are. I am sure it is very difficult to be gay when you are 15 years old and are not ready to reveal yourself. I hope you keep moving forward in life. I hope you find someone to love and enjoy life with.
I know how you feel. Interesting accent you have there! I was wondering your background. A bit of Aussie in there perhaps? You deserve all that’s good that life delivers. All the very best.
I'm sorry that happened to you. I myself have never been able to pass as straight. Even in pre-pubes😂 I was tortured in the late 80s early 90s. High school was rough
My brother was the first one to do that crap to me. He would find my my friends and tell them, then he and my friends were friends, and they wouldn't speak to me. Then my sisters started doing the same things. I'm now 71 and have been totally ignored by my "family" every Christmas and on my birthday for over 20 years. I hate every one of them. I have no friends left because of them. I took the attitude of "fuck you" and I am so happy I did. They are some of the most cruel people on earth, and I do not want or need them in my life.
I came out to my best friend over the phone and he said, "That's ok. We're still friends." - Thought it extremely sweet at the time that he was so accepting. He was getting divorced, so I didn't call him. I didn't want to add to his current turmoil. Called him a few years later. He told me that it was MY turn to call him and that I hurt his kids. And so we were no longer friends. Took me decades to get over the heartache. Do not bother being friends with anyone who doesn't love you back. And he did not. Decades later, I now view the "We're still friends" as going from best friend to "still hanging onto friendship".
I was forced to out myself to my family by my sister. She is so horrible. For many years, she has been a living nightmare to me, still am tbh. And at one point, she actually threatened to out me to my whole family. They had a feeling I might be bi or something, I was caught a long time ago and I got away with it telling them it was just a phase. But years later, she decided to she would tell my family. Boy was I pissed. I decided enough was enough. I told my whole family I was bi, leaning more towards gay since I have a boyfriend and I never forgave her since. Never will either.
You are a very handsome and sane young man. Hope you find (0r have found) someone to love you. I’d be so honored if I was with someone one as sensitive and intelligent as you. Hope life brings you what you want and need. Growing up gay isn’t easy.
Hey man I'm really sorry that happened to you. That must have really sucked. I wonder if he ever thought about what pain he caused you. I also wonder if you ever talked to him years later.. or maybe you will. Maybe write him a letter and let him know that his actions really caused you pain. You really cared about him as a friend. When we're young we all do stupid things. But I can tell you got a good head on your shoulders now. And by the way.. your cute AF. So.. Take that! former friend!! Haha.
Something similar happened to me at a job quite a while back. I trusted someone and got outed. She didnt understand that it wasnt her place to do that. She kept saying “so what who cares? No one does. Stop worrying”…she had it ALL wrong! I did quit that job the next day. Like you, I was humiliated and embarrassed. I wasnt afraid of people knowing. I was (and still am) afraid of being beaten up or killed. I can walk away from name calling but not necessarily violence and you just never know what outing someone can cause for that person. I still am very selective about who gets the PRIVILEGE of knowing my soul. Thanks for your video!
NEVER tell girls. They ALWAYS tell someone. Especially, it the guy is "hot". They consider it a waste.
Good for you man...stay strong and brave.
@@geraldj3623……….or a challenge……….
Same. Then everyone started me of sexuallyHarassing men at work.
Everyone started looking at me like I was aRapist.
I felt so uncomfortable. I had to quit.
You are deranged. Be out, loud & proud or GTFO. You sound like you grew up in the 1950s or something…get a grip.
The Exact same thing happened to me in 1981. Rather than run from the “gossip”, I embraced it. I even had a teacher try to have me removed from a Christian School Club, that I was President of. She lost, my Principal stood up for me. My ex bestie even told our Quaterback that I had a crush on him. He called me out about it. And I told him yes. That became my highest ranking in H.S. Popularity.
My father had always told me, to not give the bullies the reaction that they were after.
It worked, for me.
I think I will keep your father's words
Yeah totally ❤❤
Currently looking at other peoples stories because I got outed last week. I’ve never felt more judged and ashamed than I do now. It feels violating to have someone share something so personal about you, I’m happy I’ve got supportive friends but my parents are 50/50 about it. Being outed has put me in an uncomfortable and almost dehumanising position where I feel my identity has been taken away from me, and I’m not a person anymore to many of my peers.
Thank you for sharing, it feels good to know I’m not alone.
I hope you're doing, and feeling, a bit better now. Just remember Dr. Suess: Those that mind don't matter, and those that matter don't mind.
I wish you well.
remain true to yourself, you'll find your tribe, it gets better....it does. be honest with yourself, honest with other people and you'll have nothing, nothing, to be ashamed of. much love on your journey.
And now that you’ve been outed none of these people have any kind of control over you. You we’ll see what I’m talking about.
What other people think of you ....is none of YOUR business. Don't absorb bullshit
I’m so sorry that happened to you, and I hope you’re in a good place these months later. I don’t know where you live, but make it a goal to move some place progressive where gay people are accepted, and if you can’t do that then seek them out online like you’re doing now. Don’t let a bully define you or take away your hope for building the community that you need. You can see from Luke’s example that it gets better!
You're a lovely man. I'm so sorry that happened to you. Hugs. ❤
I wish you didn't have to experience that and it breaks my heart that someone could be so cruel! The world needs less bullies who cause so much pain and more people like you. So proud of you xxxx
fabulous50s thank you so freaking much. That means a lot.
I had person that did that to me five years ago
Out at 15? What accepting kind parents you must have had to feel safe in that way.
This is 2024 parents are more accepting now than ever before
I was out at 11.
Can we stop using the word “acceptance”. It insinuates there is something wrong with being gay. C’mon it’s 2024.
@@Inthemiddleofit Got it. Like the word "Tolerance" I don't like that word
@@Inthemiddleofit that’s in your mind. Acceptance doesn’t imply anything in particular other than that it’s something someone has an attitude of allowing for, as opposed to rejection. I accept that I’m a human breathing air right now, it’s not because I think air is immoral. Your shadows don’t define how other people live, they define how you perceive and they can be worked on.
Look how well you turned out. You make us all look good.
It's disgraceful for someone to out you without your permission, particularly since they were supposed to be your friend. Some people make your life better when they enter, others make it better when they leave. I hope you have removed this toxic person from your life. I'm much older, but I was accused of being gay at school in the 70s, even when I wasn't sure myself. The accusation was enough to make everybody hate me. I was bullied constantly and was declared by the headmaster to be the most hated boy in the school. I have suffered PTSD ever since. Fortunately, I have a husband who has loved me dearly for the last 22 years.
I’m so sorry . You went through so much to be able to be your authentic self and I send you much respect and love . In the 70’s (USA) I was soft spoken, skinny , effeminate and shy . I got called a f*g practically everyday even before I came out. The one out gay kid in my school stood at my locker with my best friend (still best after 47 yrs) and shouted ‘Jon you have homosexual tendencies ‘ to the entire quad of students passing by. He was comfortable with himself . I didn’t want to be gay because my dad hated gays. My classmates hated gays . I didn’t want to lose my straight friend (and yeah, he was all game for hot girls all the time which was somewhat irritating ) I grabbed him by the collar and dragged him into the hall by the bathroom and screamed in his face ‘don’t say that about me Clyde!’ I was shaking and I knew I could be killed by those students and the teachers would ignore my body lying on the ground d because that’s how it was in a fundamentalist small town like ceres, ca in 1976. I survived but the cost was brutal. I abused alcohol, drugs, and even hurt myself with a knife trying to please society , my classmates, my psycho fundamentalist father .. finally came out at 19 and fell for a Frenchman . Painful breakup . An amazing relationship at 25 with a Castro clone (San Francisco muscle daddy) for 8 years. I met my husband of 25 in 1998 and we were registered DP’s in 1999 . We were finally married in 2020 at the palace of fine arts in SF, CA. What a loving and amazing life we have had. Glad you have found your prince as well 🙏😊
same situation as me in Australia
Accused
Lol❤❤❤❤
Thanks for sharing your story
That was a total dick move from your "friend". Thankfully, you were strong enough and had support to help you through it. Much love.
Kathi Cipriano thank you!
Sorry you had to go through that, breaks my heart. i too know that feeling, keep your head up baby!!!
Rasheed thank you, and I will!
Some things can not be walked back. There is no excuse for intentionally hurting someone this way. You are right to have taken him out of your life. I recently dropped a platonic friendship of several decades because of her sudden shift to toxic behavior towards me. Moving on is essentail. Best to you.
It’s very hard when you lose the confidence to confide in someone who you put total trust in when you were trying to be completely honest in sharing a very personal part of your life. You truly find out who is or is not your friend. Thanks for sharing your story!
I'm so sorry you experienced that. Truly!
I'm so glad you were able to come out to your parents at 15 y/o. I'm older and grew up with a dad who was a career Army officer and a very Catholic mother. I eventually ended getting married after the first man, who was my lover, was killed in a small plane crash. Well, my wife ended up outing me to my parents and siblings. Not a happy time for me as you can imagine.
Enough of me. You sure developed into a wonderful, interesting, very handsome and beautiful man. Hugs
You don't think that was a happy time for your wife, do you? She outed you? How did she knows? You just tell her 'Oh, dear, don't forget to buy milk and also I'm gay, surprise! Please don't tell my mother'. Or she eventually caught you on the parking lot with the mormon boy?
I hope you divorced her.
Well bro ,you're not alone it takes one to understand one,i was too,but I just don't care of what they think of me and be happy, hope you do too❤❤
Same here. It was Jr High. Worst thing that EVER happened to me, ruined my life, and now I'm 70 y/o. Thanks Luke. You made me cry.
I’m so sorry that happened to you Luke. You’re a beautiful , strong man with a clear understanding of who you are . That ‘friend’ was clearly uncomfortable with who he was and his insecurity lead him to try to hide by hurting you and perhaps ‘covering his own tracks’ if that’s fair . Sometimes I had people who would introduce me as their ‘gay’ friend . That told me loads about how insecure they were and wanted everyone to know that ‘they weren’t gay’ but I was . Those unhealthy , toxic people leave an opening for good , healthy people who love and respect you to come into the open space they left . Don’t let the door hit ya is the old saying 🙏. So glad I found your channel . Let the good people come . Encourage the toxic ones to hurry on out . Be well ❤
I came out to a friend, a really good girl friend after my first year of college. We had been great friends through all years of school. She seemed quite taken aback. Years later, I ran into a friend from high school coming out of a gaybar in Toronto. we had a long lovely chat. He told me that she had told everyone that I knew. I haven't seen her since but I hope she has had a miserable life. It really had an effect on a lot of friendships.
Let it go. She did u a favor in that u found out who your real friends were. Moving on...
The cliche that “‘hurt people’ hurt people” exists for a reason. If she had been happy with her own life, she never would have betrayed your confidence. She was probably reacting to some pain in her own life that you’ll never even discover the details about.
I like your attitude. F- em because they aren’t going to be there when you need them.
Also, you said you were 15 when this happened, I would surmise your “friend” was around your age too. That being said, reality is you were both growing, learning about life. So, though your friend was wrong you both learn lessons about life.
Happy for you, knowing what you want in life is very important.
God Bless you young man!! I know you will find better friends in your life.
I’m 74 in back in my day it was very difficult to come out. I was in a relationship for 11 years with a police officer, and he was killed in the line of duty. No it’s 74 I’m looking again……. Is this wrong…❤ this is the gay life. You are your own best friend and remember that people come and go best friends come and go and someday you will come and go. Be kind to yourself and others.
I'm so sorry for your loss. I can only imagine the hurt you experienced. I ❤️you.
I'm sorry for this
Thank you for the story
I went through high school as a closeted young man. I didn't have any obvious mannerisms so it was easy. I can only think of one other guy (out of 1400 students at this school) who was known to be gay. He wasn't a big flammer but it was talked about, especially by the sports/jocks guys. He was a real good looking guy too. I often though of making advances towards him.
Amyway, I'm in my 50s now and pretty much still am not out at work nor to my family. Mom and dad have passed away and we never had the conversation.
Not sure I feel about that.
But I will say that gay haters are still out there in massive numbers.
I work with many of them.
I know this is a really old video, but I agree with other commenters - I wish you would have a follow up and talked about how you are now. That is SO horrible what your friend did to you! I can't imagine that happening at that young age (or any age when you aren't ready). How awful. I'm glad you are apparently doing well now. All the best to you. 🙌🏽 ❤
I agree with you completely. If someone doesn’t accept you then you don’t need them in your life. When I was a teenager I always tried to explain why I was gay and my experiences in dealing with it in hopes people would be more understanding. For some people they already had there mind made up and were hateful no matter what I said. I desperately wanted to be accepted for who I was. Now, at forty years old, I don’t care. I’m not going to justify my identity to anyone. You either like me as I am or you don’t. That’s the healthy attitude to have. I just wish I would have figured it out when I was younger. It would of saved me some heartache and stress. Thanks for making the video. I think there are people out there that need to hear it.
Jeremiah Fawver thanks for watching dude. It’s a hard lesson to learn and put in practice. I still struggle with it from time to time. I’m glad you’re happy. That’s the most important thing
God bless and love you dear bro.😊❤
Not sure how a 6y old video got recommended to me but I’m glad it did. Other comments say you haven’t been seen since then so I really hope you’re doing ok and life is treating you well. Truly wishing you the best.
I understand how you feeling about that. Hey, keep your head up and stay strong! HUGS🫶🏽🤟🏼💪🏾💋
It made perfect sense. Thanks for opening up. It's the bad experiences that we survive, that temper us, like steel.
You did well on this, Luke. You described your feelings so clearly. It is obvious you have spent a lot of time processing the pain. You didn't have to make this video, so I am assuming you did it to help others. Thank you on behalf of the many who will find hope in your story. Peace, brother.
Luke, I had a similar experience in the 1970's, except they also burned a cross in my yard! I never saw the burning cross. Somehow, my parents kept it from me. The experience of an entire school knowing about the conspiracy but me was deflating. I did not stop participating in things that interested me, but I did not socialize with but a few of my peers. You are quite brave and I respect your decision to reveal these sour moments as it will be cathartic to many who hear your heartfelt words. Be you Luke, the world thanks you for your authenticity. Blessings always!
Never mind got over it became a genuine person, and lived the life of your dreams , thanks for the story certainly something to mull over , all the best .
Sorry you had to go through that. About that age one of my friends asked if I was gay, but I denied it. At that time it was the right thing to do because I really hadn't accepted myself. I'm glad you accepted yourself at that age when you came out. Too bad your friend really didn't accept you. Thank you for sharing your story.
Sweet, sweet man whose warmth and sincerity shines through.
Thank you for sharing your coming out story. Sorry you were outed. I am 68 and came out at 19 in 1975.
I'm sooooo sorry that happened to you. Being outed is the worst. I will never understand why people have a hard time with simple common decency, you just don't share stuff told to you with other people....I'm so sorry. If we ever meet, I'll give you a hug.
This randomly pops on my timeline, and i'm happy for it ❤
Thank you! I'm glad you made this video because I'm sure it has saved many lives, and will save more in the future. Bless you for your kind heart and beautiful personality. 😍😍❤❤
I’m sure you are tired of this he wasn’t/isn’t your best friend.
You are so strong without realizing it then or now.
I can definitely relate to the comment about crying reading this.
I had a friend a year younger than me, while walking home. Halfway he was approached by 3 delinquents, that curb stomped him.
He lost all of his teeth.
I’m not telling you to hide, I am saying you are absolutely correct.
By being cautious as we all should.
I’m very proud of you.
Nothing worse than a betrayal of trust especially by someone you considered a best friend. At the time it’s hard but when you look back he did you a favour! Now you can live your life!!
How do I know this - take a guess!! 🙂
Thanks for sharing your story 👌👍 Hope all is good with you 🤝
I hear you. Was a bit like this in Royal Navy when all I wanted be was a regular sailor.
Oh Luke, as I listened with tears rolling down my face, I totally got you. I was always the school clown, it covered so many things. I had a lot of friends, especially girls. Because I understand them. I remember on my last day of high school, walking home with a couple of the girls. One said “ Geoff I reckon your going to be homosexual or a dirty old man. Well the latter was never going to be, and I had had feelings for guys since the age of 10 years old. Although in the 60s I never knew what those feelings were, and mucking around with other guys was quite natural. As it was kissing girls. I’m now 63, been in a relationship for 42 years, worked in gay bars. Got so many loving friends, that I’m so blessed. Life is a journey, a learning experience to embrace. May your life be filled with joy Luke. With a few curved balls thrown in there, cause without them, we never grow to really appreciate our wonderful our world really is. Much love and hugs my brother. Geoff ❤️❤️❤️
I"m so Sorry that happened to you Luke. YOU look and sound like an Amazing Man.
Have watched several of you posts on yt. A pity that you’ve not had any new posts since that time six years ago. Was fun and entertaining to watch your posts. Would be interesting to see where you are six years later.
Great to hear...life gets better..choose your friends carefully.
Same thing. It's what children do. To compound things, I went to a small country school of a total of only 500 students, and for the remaining three years was physically, verbally and emotionally tormented by both the faculty and students. What it did, was make me tough and helped me appreciate how great life became when I left that country town. It also forced me out, which in my generation I am certain I never would have done. In employment, I always used it to my advantage. I would tell one person, and before I got back to my desk full well knew the entire organization knew! No more questions about "who are you dating?" lol Stay strong, beautiful boy. Nothing in this life happens by accident.
Never feel ashamed of who you are !
I came out at aged 16 to my parents whilst in a psychiatric unit. They didn’t quite understand it and being Roman Catholic and voting Conservative, they thought it was a passing phase.
Six months later, I’d gone to speak a my parish priest regarding raising funds for the church organ fund and I ended up coming out to him because I needed extra support. When I got home and told my mum, she cried, so I cried with her, then she asked me if I’d like to tell my dad or her - I let her ! After about an hour I came down feeling as though I’d brought shame on the family and I expected my dad to throw me out.
He told me to never be ashamed for what I am and that I was still his son and that he will always love me for that !
My parents had meetings with that priest I’d come out to and they accepted me for who I am.
I told my older siblings over a period of about 2 years only because not all of them are local to me.
They’ve both long since passed away now, dad 32 years ago and mum 24. I’ll be 55 this year.
I had something like this happen to me after I hit on my best friend in high school. He told my whole year and by the next morning I had been completely ostracised, even by the few friends I had. I was already being bullied, at an all boy Catholic school (go figure), but this incident made my life even worse. I hated going to school and was almost suicidal by the time I left. It has had a significant impact on my adult life and now, over 20 years later, I am learning just how much a decade of bullying has framed my life, the way I trust, how I interact with people and why my daily life is riddles with self-doubt. If I could go back and change those years I would do it in an instant. People need to take full responsibility for the way they treat others and more importantly, they need to think deeply before they speak or act, even if they don't immediately understand the affect it might have on person on the receiving end.
❤❤ I completely agree with you, I was outted similarly. Thank you for sharing!❤
You were the kind of 15 year old I'd've befriended in a heartbeat because of what had happened to you. I'm just the kind that was always found among the outcast, weird, isolated, or "undesirable" or "unpopular". They make for the BEST friends ever.
Thank you for sharing your story-❤ God bless you on your way dearest brother! Sisterly greetings from Berlin
This delightful young man has an intriguing blended accent. I can’t place him at all
We should all get to choose when we come out. It’s nerve wracking. Even in these new times.
I think you are totally right. You don’t need people in your life who will judge you for things you can’t help or can’t change. It’s a big favour they are doing for you actually, weeding out those numpties who aren’t going to value add to your life and only bring you down.
I love how this just randomly popped on my feeds.
Love and peace to you, Friend. Your story is my story, but my story happened in 1980 when I was 22. It does get better.
I have no clue of your age my Niece I raised from the time I was 14.
I finally shared with a past high school friend. How because of how nice, fun, and friendly she was.
It saved me from taking the stairs to the Interstate Toll Bridge to jump.
Also, my Niece 😊 being born saved me.
I’ve experienced a lot of experiences many people never will. However, I find myself trying to deal with my feelings of not doing enough.
I just got off the phone with my doctor’s receptionist.
She told me thanks 😊 for making her laugh so much today.
I try my best to do that everyday there’s so much unnecessary hurt, sorrow, and feelings of inferiority.
Always share your stories and make at least one person’s day brighter day.
Thank you so much 😊 for having the courage and strength to share.
Daniel
Some “friend “. Karma will take care of that betrayal.
@@abdeton1899
Such an unfair opinion.
Everyone is allowed their beliefs.
If you don’t constantly dwell on it, it comes back much faster.
(I have made other comments and had them deleted.
So feel free to rid this as well).
Luke, I'm sorry that you had that experience. While not desirable, it's good that your "friend" showed you who he really is sooner than later.
The truth is that he betrayed you and is not the man that he misrepresented himself to be.
Good on you for moving forward and being able to openly share about this experience pkus expose insecure individuals like this guy.
That's shit, and you're right. Coming out is a personal choice. Im very glad your family was there for you. Did anyone at school step up to support you? I was kinda outed in college, but only to friends of my roommate (whod found a playgirl). Luckily for me, those friends must have kept it a close secret so it didnt go viral. But, you so go around expecting to be hurt, which as you've said, is horrible at any age, butcespecially at the beginning of being an adult. Kudos for getting through that.
I came out to my sister first when I was 19, then my mum, they were OK, my family supported me. In the early 70’s it was tougher then than now, I think. After that I lead my life and only if asked I said, no reason to say otherwise. I’ve worked in the Middle East for many, many years and I’ve been OK, don’t believe all you read or hear about the Middle East (Gulf). Thanks for sharing your story.
Being outed is bad enough. The betrayal ramps it up. It really hurts when someone whom we consider to be a friend shows they aren't.
Luke, I love you for sharing this intimate story.
You made it through. Thanks! I outted a dear friend our senior year in high school to his mother for completely different reasons. My friend had begun seeing a much older adult man in his late 30s. This was in 1989 and the HIV/ AIDS epidemic was rampant in America (still is). I was terrified because my friend began living with this guy who was known in all the bars as very sexually active man. My friend was experimenting with drugs and had just spun out of control. One day I summoned the courage to call his mother who was very kind to me and just a wonderful woman in general. I debated it for weeks but I was so afraid for my friend. I remember calling her and telling her everything-everything!! She thanked me but I felt horrible-like I betrayed my friend. I remember him phoning me and saying I ruined his life. I was in tears but we actually managed to remain friends. Now, over 30 years later we’re still friends though not best friends like we were in high school. Looking back I have no regrets. I did what I did because I cared not because I was jealous or mean spirited. Thanks for your very different story. Btw I was outted in college by the one and only guy I had fooled around with. It was the best thing because all these handsome “straight” guys began coming on to me randomly at school and it ended up with me making very nice friendships with guys who couldn’t come out but wanted to have some kind of intimacy without fear. So there’s that. 😂. Be well and thanks again.
Wow, I understand your conflict but you made the right decision! I’m glad you were able to somewhat restore the friendship.
@magnostadt341High schooler dating someone 20 years older than him doesn’t raise any red flags?
So sick of the drama of coming out - I did it decades ago and it's heartbreaking some peeps are STILL having a tough time of it.
I wish I were younger and in your circle - we'd have gotten on famously
Don't worry about being flamboyant, express it, integrate it - you'll learn when it's appropriate to let it shine with your hot, handsome self - you're wonderful and don't let anyone tell you different
You are so brave to share your story. I'm so sorry you were betrayed by your friend. That was a douche move for him to do what he did.
Totally distracted by your tats.... they are fantastically awesome!!
I remember my sister outing me to 2 other family members after I had a mental health breakdown. Not the best of times to tell them, but thank god she didn't tell everyone in my homophobic neighbourhood. The best of luck to you buddy. 👍
Thanks for sharing your story.
That happened to me at work when I was in my 20s. I moved to another state to get a fresh start, because everything became intolerable after that. It sucks!
I hear you Luke! Were I in your shoes, I would have been mortified. Thanks for this video!
2015. Mine happened in 1995 at 15 in KY. The only thing I had going for me was I was 6'2, had a huge ego, & could fight. I'm so sorry this happened to you. Mine was just a friend, not my BFF. That sucks! Screw him. I'd love to know where they both are now. I know I'm 1000x better off. Thanks for the story!
For every negative thing that happens to you, you can alway looks back and see the positive. They help shape the person are now. They make you know what not to do and how to treat others. It creates a greater sense on empathy. The kindest, most generous, compassionate people in the world has the highest sense empathy. He may have done you a favor.
I'm part of the "outed" club. My late-ex-brother-in-law outed me to my family. I survived. Sometime later I told him not to feel bad for outing me... it was the best thing that ever happened to me. He cried. I really don't know how long it would have taken me to put myself out of my misery by coming out myself. He was worthless and had ill-intent towards me but my family's love for me foiled his efforts. I like to think that I kinda took the high-road on that one. Food for thought. Lot of healing in forgiveness.
My hugs luke! I feel u.. new subs here from middle east. A filipino watching your vlogs.❤
I'm sorry such a rotten thing happened to you. I'm sure that it made you a stronger person. Looking back at my high school years, I remember how cruel kids can be at that age. I think the best thing you can do is to forgive that guy who you thought was your friend...not for his sake but for your own. This does not mean you need to involve him in your life again. Karma will eventually catch up with him. God made you who you are. Be proud!
My experience has been, don't share secrets with ANYONE!
Came out at 16 back in the 80s . Have only hid my sexuality once and it was for about a week at a new job but now everyone knows. I have had old friends that didn't like it and new friends that could care less about it. I have found that the ones who stick by your side are worth keeping and the ones who worry about what it means to have a gay friend are not worth keeping. You definitely are right and hopefully it helps someone.
I understand. My very best friend wasn't anymore after he found out.
I am so sorry you had to experience that mean and nasty treatment by your friend that you trusted and also all of the others who treated you differently. Makes me angry. Wishing you well!
That does suck. Thanks for sharing a difficult time in your life.
His lost. Forget him.
ty, I appreciate you sharing that.
Well Mr Luke, if you're still here and I hope you're all fit and well? It IS a despicable thing to do and it IS a big deal to get betrayed in that manor. Kudos to you and anybody going through that.
What a handsome guy, in so many ways.
You have nothing to be ashamed of. You are who you are. I am sure it is very difficult to be gay when you are 15 years old and are not ready to reveal yourself. I hope you keep moving forward in life. I hope you find someone to love and enjoy life with.
I know how you feel. Interesting accent you have there! I was wondering your background. A bit of Aussie in there perhaps?
You deserve all that’s good that life delivers. All the very best.
out since 1979 at 17. I outed myself. family friends or workplace couldn't care less.
Like you said,” fuckem” life is too short. It hurt like hell at first but live here, live now!!
Sending a big hug. Thanks for sharing.❤
There is a golden rule. We should never OUT anyone anytime for any reason. It not their news to tell.
Good Lord! With friends like that, who needs enemies?
I'm sorry that happened to you. I myself have never been able to pass as straight. Even in pre-pubes😂 I was tortured in the late 80s early 90s. High school was rough
So sorry he betrayed you. You should only come out when you’re ready to do so.
I hope he sees this and feels sorry about it.
My brother was the first one to do that crap to me. He would find my my friends and tell them, then he and my friends were friends, and they wouldn't speak to me. Then my sisters started doing the same things. I'm now 71 and have been totally ignored by my "family" every Christmas and on my birthday for over 20 years. I hate every one of them. I have no friends left because of them. I took the attitude of "fuck you" and I am so happy I did. They are some of the most cruel people on earth, and I do not want or need them in my life.
Exactly, eradicate the toxicity before it consumes you.
I came out to my best friend over the phone and he said, "That's ok. We're still friends." - Thought it extremely sweet at the time that he was so accepting. He was getting divorced, so I didn't call him. I didn't want to add to his current turmoil. Called him a few years later. He told me that it was MY turn to call him and that I hurt his kids. And so we were no longer friends. Took me decades to get over the heartache. Do not bother being friends with anyone who doesn't love you back. And he did not. Decades later, I now view the "We're still friends" as going from best friend to "still hanging onto friendship".
I was forced to out myself to my family by my sister. She is so horrible. For many years, she has been a living nightmare to me, still am tbh. And at one point, she actually threatened to out me to my whole family. They had a feeling I might be bi or something, I was caught a long time ago and I got away with it telling them it was just a phase. But years later, she decided to she would tell my family. Boy was I pissed. I decided enough was enough. I told my whole family I was bi, leaning more towards gay since I have a boyfriend and I never forgave her since. Never will either.
Be strong ! What a nice experienced of coming out!
You are a very handsome and sane young man. Hope you find (0r have found) someone to love you. I’d be so honored if I was with someone one as sensitive and intelligent as you. Hope life brings you what you want and need. Growing up gay isn’t easy.
Thanks for your story.
Hey man I'm really sorry that happened to you. That must have really sucked. I wonder if he ever thought about what pain he caused you. I also wonder if you ever talked to him years later.. or maybe you will. Maybe write him a letter and let him know that his actions really caused you pain. You really cared about him as a friend. When we're young we all do stupid things. But I can tell you got a good head on your shoulders now. And by the way.. your cute AF. So.. Take that! former friend!! Haha.