Timestamps 1). You don't feel "seen" 1:31 2). Your values become compromised 2:04 3). You feel responsible for other people's reactions 2:38 4). You're terrified of making decisions for others 3:14 5). You feel guilty about getting angry 3:50 6). You over-apologize 4:21 7). You don't know how to say no 4:54 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
@@A55a551n No problem I just saw three videos of you doing it and I was sure you only did it once So I asked because I have seen you in many videos So no problem I just checked And I remembered you because of the 💙
For me, its not about trying to be a people pleasure, but when im stressed i tend to isolate from my surroundings. Theres been countless times i droned off into my head because im dealing with overwhelming problems. Its not me trying to please people, but i stay occupied to myself to avoid any drama.
@Psych2go Usually, it does. Sometimes, I regret it a lot because sometimes I zone out for hours if stress gets overbearing. And isolating causes me to lose touch with reality. And at that point, i forget to remember certain things.
@@insertwordshere6952The exact same thing happens with me and usually when I forget things my family criticizes me about it and I'm stuck to deal with the overbearing thought of why I can't get myself together.
I’ve always felt like I was too nice. And all the things listed is 100 percent me. I remembered my senior year asking people if I was too nice because I was thinking about the way I was being towards other. But seeing these videos make me understand that it’s not the case at all.
i dont know what happened. my childhood was awful, tbh i forgot most of what i felt, all i know is that i may have had depression or a really, really bad sadness. i somehow did get over it, and became the opposite - social, extroverted, popular, i befriended so many people but then... i changed. completely. i became a people pleaser. i became 'introverted', shy, quiet, i pushed my friends away, and i.. dont know why. what caused the change? the only thing i can think of is what happened in my childhood which was way before both of these events, so i dont get it
I really used to be like this, and carried deep down anger and resentment for others, but i kept smiling. I think i just wanted love and acceptance and i knew i had toxic people that would leave if i didnt comply. Sure enough, as i grew and started to say no, the circle thinned out and now i am "mean" because i speak up for myself. I know this earlier behavior started in childhood living with 2 narc parents and just trying to survive without being put down all the time. I am much better now, but my suggestion is good therapy, and starting the discovery of listening to your inner voice to find out who you are minus what you have heard and been told about yourself. And never ever fear being alone ❤.
This is WAY TOO relatable for me. Like they actually just deticated an entire video to making me realise all of my problems. I never knew what was wrong with me until now.
It can be both eye-opening and sometimes challenging to see aspects of ourselves reflected in content like this & It's perfectly okay not to have all the answers immediately, that's why discussing your insights with someone you trust can be even more helpful.
I can literally relate to every single one of them I started noticing such things about myself over past few years but couldn't figure out what was wrong with me I was blaming myself for reacting in certain ways but couldn't help it I called myself a coward for not being able to stand up for myself and literally beat myself up for it till I started having mental breakdowns I just couldn't figure out whome to ask for help as I just didn't know what kind help I was looking for and what was actually wrong with me
It's addictive, and thoroughly upsetting, to beat up on myself when I get frustrated or overwhelmed, and yes, it does cause mental distress. Please take care of yourself as best you can! If that means getting outside help, do so, because you clearly are a good person who deserves so much better.
I relate to this video very much but I have never thought of it as a ptsd symptom. I hope that there is another video explaining what kinda of trauma might lead to this because that might help me and others find out why there are people pleasers and how to grow past the issue.
@@Psych2go Yeah. I can't think of anything very traumatic in my life and having examples of different kinds of trauma or what traumatic experiences would most likely lead to this condition would help me understand it and improve my chance on changing for the better. Thanks
I just shared the link to this video with a very close friend of mine who really needs this information in its entirety. And once I’ve finished typing this acknowledgment of my undying gratitude, I shall share it with my mother as well, since we both suffer from a lesser degree of of this very phenomenon.
i never even knew fawning was a thing, and i now realise i relate to like all of these points. the weird thing is, it's kinda like an alter ego. at home, i am the complete opposite, im like a sociopath/narcissist, kind of, i at least act like it to my family. yet, to everyone else, im a fawn. does this mean anything?!
Realizing that I'm fawning suddenly made me so mad. I don't have any trauma but I've always been like this and it's been getting worse over the years. I thought I was just handling things the right way
Maybe you are just kind to people because you expect reciprocation? I was like that for way too long before I realised maybe 1 in a hundred will reciprocate.
I've noticed that whenever your videos speak on trauma, its always associated with childhood or in this video you showed a baby and said "early in life." I just think it's important to consider that trauma can happen at any age, and I could see how it would make someone who's been traumatized as an adult feel like their trauma isn't valid. Especially with CPTSD. If I remember correctly, this type of trauma happens over time. It's not just one traumatic event, it's your body not knowing when you're going to experience another difficult situation and over time it will cause you to shut down to try to avoid triggers altogether.
So it could actually be linked to high masking autism! I would kinda make sense since high masking autism is all about a neurodivergent person trying to hide their quirks. Living with repetitive small traumatic and stressful social interactions could end up making someone develop fawning as a way of socially trying to fit in somehow…
I agree, it feels like adult trauma is not valid at all. I had also get traumatized during adulthood and it´s still quite tough to get out of this. Especially when therapists keep saying: “what happened to you thorough adulthood does not really matter so much, if you had a good childhood this will not hurt you.” Really? I don’t think so. If doctors make a mistake, it is a real threat. No one when going thorough this would feel like: “well, never mind. It’s just wrong pills, no big deal. I am just feeling worse after them. Never mind that doctor doesn’t believe me that. Who cares.”
Cinema Therapy did an episode reviewing the Hunger Games movies as related to CPTSD. I don't remember the specifics, nor could I explain it nearly as well as they do--I highly recommend that YT channel as much as this one.
This is definitely me for sure! One day I asked a kid if he wanted to be friends with me and then I was like "Wait what if he finds it weird?" so then I said, "Sorry if i'm being weird by just randomly asking you to be my friend"
Gosh… I’ve been trying to work on this for some time now. I actually lost friends when I finally quit fawning. It’s only looking back now that I realize one of the friends was someone who seemed out people who fawn in order to take advantage of them, because a mutual friend was also a fawner who was extremely conflict avoidant. It just sucks that the moment I started sticking up for myself I became the villain for everyone they had a connection with. But while it sucks, I’m glad to realize all of this now because it means I took some toxic people out of my life. I need to focus on me and my own healing from trauma. If those people I once called friends won’t support me because I’m the bad guy for sticking up for myself, then I never needed them. Thank you guys for making these videos. They really help me a lot :)
Time stamps! ------------- sign 1 : You don't feel " seen " 1:33-2:05 sign 2 : Your values become compromise 2:06-2:38 sign 3 : You feel responsible for other people's reactions 2:39-3:13 *sign 4: You're terrified of making decisions for others 3:14-3:49 sign 5: You feel guilty about getting angry 3:50-4:21 *sign 6: You over-apologize 4:22-4:54 *sign 7: You don't know how to say no 4:55-5:37 Thank you so much Psych2Go!! This was extremely helpful!! :D ( if anyone who sees this please feel free to tell me what/if you relate to any of these. I'm so sorry I won't be able to help but hopefully just a talk can help 😭👍 )
This was me my entire life but this year I've taken a deep dive into the world of psychology and have been changing for the better. But of course as soon as I grow a back bone and start prioritizing my own mental health above the needs and wants of others I'm seen as "self-centered".. Selfcare is NOT selfish! Dont ever feel guilty for prioritizing YOU!
This explains a few things. My trauma is due to a car accident in which i sustained a traumatic brain injury. My partner had trained me into saying "I apologize" rather than "I'm sorry," and into asking whether I actually want to do something when someone asks me to do something, and I've been aware for a while that fawning is probably something I do. This video shows me that it's more of an issue than i was aware. That gives me a starting point-- thank you!
Because of the abuse I went through I decided that it is better to be alone rather than always being put down. I got worse with mental help because I kept getting overdosed and had to learn on my own how to cope and stop medication because the mental medication affected my physical health.
You're deserving of love and care. Take the time you need for yourself, and prioritize what feels right for your overall well-being. You have the strength within you to navigate through anything. Take care and continue to be kind to yourself. 💖
I never knew this existed until now. I’ve always thought that I’m being too much of a people pleaser but after watching this video, I have all the signs mentioned in the video and I realised that I am the fawning type now. 😮
1, 3, 5 and 6 are me to a tee - 7 use to be but coming out of an abusive relationship made me reevaluate a lot about myself, it's taken a hell of a time but slowly I'm learning to say no when I'm not comfortable with something.
I have always been told i am too nice. I try to put myself in others peoples shoes and talk kindly to them. That usually leads to people taking advantage of me. I still am learning to still be polite but if i am being mistreated walk away. That part is hard because i dont wanna hurt people's feelings. But i gotta protect myself
I realized I've always been a people pleaser, agreeing to everything being said. Alot of this video reflects my hollow personality, due to rejection trauma. I always get talked down or 'it's not true' if I try to talk about this kind of subject, so I end up bottling it and resenting parts of myself. Thank you, this really helped this lost person, unsure of her own sense of worth. I'll try to see a psychiatrist.
Trauma fawning is something I've never heard of. My trauma is from childhood and an abusive narcissitic alcoholic mother. I'm going to run this term by my therapist whom I've been with for over three years now and see if she's heard of it. I'm tending to think that even she is taking advantage of me because she charges my Medicare more than what her profile on Psychology Today says and she gets every penny. She seems to forget a lot of the things that I've told her and repeats herself and doesn't seem to listen at times - we do my therapy through the computer so I notice that her mind isn't always there and I find myself having to repeat things in the same session. I may be "fawning" because I'm afraid to change therapists because it's been so long and I don't want to hurt her feelings. Thank you for your video, I now see another clear side of the effects of my emotional trauma. It's time to change therapists, hopefully I can find one.
I mean... wow. This is what I watch first thing in the morning, and I get personally attacked. I can't tell if I should thank you for the knowledge or not.
There is no such thing as being too nice, sometimes people in life just don't just have your kindness, and that's not on you, being nice and caring is an incredible thing to have don't let anyone wither that down ♡
#1 is me, but I don’t necessarily need to be seen just because I do for others, although a little recognition and checking up on me from time to time would be nice……#2 has been me to a degree since a recent break up, especially when the person who broke it off tries to put all the blame on you. I kinda look at my ways and values a little different. I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that I was somewhat the blame, but not hardly as much as the person who left….I’ll be fine…..#5. Feeling guilty about being angry also is a response to rejection, as so you don’t upset others, even if you’re right in your decision…..#5 ties in with #6, as you lose a relationship (intimate or otherwise), you tend to think all of the blame is yours…IT PROBABLY IS NOT, or even close…..Take time to assess how to move on in a new way in your life, and think of the most brilliant and authentic you BEFORE you met the person that may have abandoned you. And yes, a mental health professional may, or may not be helpful for you, but should be an option.
Signs You're Not Too Nice, It's Your Trauma ∥「 Fawning 」∥ Time stamps: 1. You don't feel "seen" 1:31 2. Your values become compromised 2:04 3. You feel responsible for other people's reactions 2:38 4. You're terrified of making decisions for others 3:14 5. You feel guilty about getting angry 3:50 6. You over apologize 4:22 7. You don't know how to say No 4:54 "Kindness is not equivalent to being a doormat, erasing your sense of self, or never speaking up for yourself."
I related to all of these….and I have had a lot of neglected trauma. I started off in in orphanage in Russia and then I was adopted. Shortly after I was adopted, I was thrown outside. Since then, I have been fawning.. that’s basically in a nutshell.
this is a very eye opening experience. I never know there's an actual term for this kind of behaviour. I've always been told and get lectured by everyone of how I am being too nice for my own good when it's just me not wanting to lose friends and getting rejected by people. While I am very grateful of them for looking out for me but I couldn't just help it when some of them keep on making me go on fawn mode with their behaviour. and so the cycle continues. Maybe because I am just too afraid of letting people go let alone if they're one of my close friends. It's very pathetic of me but I don't think I'll ever change the way i think until I get a professional help . Pray for me 🙏
This explains allot of my life, all these points hit really close to home. I do tend to go out of my way to people please for validation ignoring my own needs. I never had a full understanding on why I was like this in general, now I have some clue that I have some un resolved trauma.
1 to 5 for me, no.6 I heard too much sorry are annoying so I tried to stop, no.7 learn about recovering, I did my best to say no. before watching this video, I thought what I did was never enough since I'm surrounded by good people so I need my best to always be good too. never thought there's something like trauma fawning. thank you for the video
I knew I'm a people pleaser, but I didn't think I was the "fawning" type. Once I said no to letting someone borrow my drawing pencils, this ruined my mood for a few days
I guess that does apply to me. During most of my life, I was mentally abused by my mother and step-father, and when I tried to assert myself, they always called me out for being wrong. And now because of that, when someone tells me I'm wrong, sometimes I'll stand my ground, but I often take a step back and try to not hurt their feelings and not oppose them too directly. I'll often concede things to them so that they don't get upset, even if I don't entirely agree. But in the end, their feelings aren't hurt, but mine are. I'm starting to wonder if a group of friend I've been in contact with for years isn't taking advantage of that. I won't enter too much details but basically once I made a vent OC that included my kinks, including unbirth. I decided to show them because I was very proud of the design and thought they could understand. I was wrong. They said that my character unbirthing people against their will was r*pe. I mean to be fair they had a point. Maybe I shouldn't make inappropriate OCs like that, but it's fictional. It's an vent OC for myself only and I wouldn't actually do that irl even if I could ! They got extremely mad, so I apologized, removed that part of my OC, and kept apologizing but they were still made and became quite rude at some point. I'm not entirely innocent in this, making this OC the way it was probably was a mistake, even for a vent OC (though I disagree that unbirth is r*pe, it's still not the best I guess), but the way they treated me really made me lose trust in them. They're long time friends and I thought I could be open to them about anything, even the kind of 18+ stuff I like (our private Discord server literally has a 18+ channel). But I was wrong, and it took me a while to gather the courage to talk to them again. This is behind us now, but I still feel like they don't understand nor care for my own feelings and want to assert their own into what I do, because there were a few similar (but smaller) incidents here and there between then and now.
Your not in the wrong to have made that OC and it's not a mistake. Especially since it's an OC you made specifically for venting. I believe vent art should never be judged, but studied for meaning and emotion. I know I have many dark kinks and fantasies, and I think the general population would be disgusted by those ideas. But people need to learn there is a difference between having dark impulses and urges and actually doing them. I still even get confused sometimes. Also, I'm confused on what exactly you mean by "unbirth" Do you mean killing or another concept entirely?
@@cakeghoul No no killing. Well it's a bit embarassing to get into ^^' Maybe you should look it up yourself. But thanks for the support, I agree with what you're saying.
Number 5 is relatable for me because of my experience with my dad. When I try to correct him, he gets absolutely furious at me and says I am nothing but disrespectful (I did not want him to look at my phone wallpaper, but he insisted to look at it). he also yells at me "DO YOU SEE HOW YOU'RE BEHAVING?!". after that, he emotionally gave up on me and told me "GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!", "LEAVE ME!". Because of this, I am just doing what he wished (he is now a shadow in my life). If you meet my dad, he can come off as friendly and talkative, but if you get to know him, he has a bad temper and always insists he is right.
7 Signs You’re Not Too Nice, It’s Your Trauma 1. You don’t feel “seen” 2. Your values become compromised 3. You feel responsible for other people’s reaction 4. You’re tired of making decisions for others 5. You feel guilty about getting angry 6. You over-apologize 7. You don’t know how to say NO
Really a great video I have many of these qualities and I am working on them and I am not ashamed to say this and I can change them without going to take a consultation, sometimes we just need to accept ourselves first, then monitor our thoughts and implementation may take time is okay but you will find out if you are really loyal Your brothers do this in order to please others,, no one, even a doctor, can know your personality more than you, we just need to accept and then correct Thank you for the beautiful video🙂❤️❤️❤️
I feel like I used to be like this a lot when I was younger. It was easier to just be quiet and do whatever anybody else wanted because when I expressed myself, I would be ignored, shut down, or yelled at.
This is soooooo me. But what I wonder, is is it fawning when you were taught to be that way? Granted, I was taught to be this way by my abusive family members. They always expected me to be sorry for everything, to say yes to everything others asked, to ignore my own wants and needs (even telling me I was selfish if I didn't want to do something), to do everything for everyone else as the cost of myself while being completely invisible (children are to be seen and never heard, they're showpieces afterall). Not wanting to be responsible for others is the prime reason I avoided becoming a lawyer (and am glad (yet sad) I don't have kids), which, to this day, I have people telling me I'd be good at (including legal professors I had for classes). I mean, I'm barely responsible for myself, how can I possibly hold someone else's wellbeing in my hands? I've learned not to stretch myself too thin, not by saying no, but by avoiding people so I don't have to say yes because only my few family members (yes the abusive ones) ask me anything now and I have to say yes to them even when I really don't want to. Avoidance for the win! Oh, and as for my values? I've never been allowed to have my own values around other people. If I had any value, belief or idea that goes against my family, I'm verbally abused for it. I have to be from their mold and agree with them about everything, or I'm nothing but a punching bag. In my mid 40s and I'm finally starting to figure out who I am, even while still dealing with this abuse (I can't get away from it). Who am I? A total loser who's intelligent but everyone sees as stupid, and I'm completely unemployable which makes me more of a loser.
I was thinking this was me about 10 years ago, with lots of counselling and the love of the right person, who challenges me daily, just enough. I no longer feel like a doormat and its okay to say no. Its still a struggle daily with my ACES (Adverse Childhood Events) and CPTSD but changing my job to non person facing as well as everything else has helped tremendously.
I knew this all along, but this fully describes me. However, I've also often been told I've always a kind nature. One story my mum told me was when she was crying for some reason and I handed her my dummy/pacifier because I knew that stopped me from crying, I was a toddler. I think half of my kindness stems from trauma and the other half from the "kind nature" thing.
It sounds like you've had a complex journey, and your kindness shines through even amid challenging circumstances. Your early gesture as a toddler, offering comfort to your mom, reflects a compassionate nature that seems to have been a part of you from a young age. It's common for our experiences, both positive and challenging, to shape different aspects of our personalities.
I feel like I'm only a decent person today because of my trauma. I ruined my own friendships and my actions started a chain of events that gave me this trauma. I was scared into bettering myself to have any hope of making or keeping any friends in the future, to not have it all happen again. I still don't have any friends or a way of making them. My personality has improved tenfold, but at the biggest cost for my mental health in general. I'm slowly getting better while still maintaining the kindness I've built up. Though it feels selfish of me to say I'm even traumatized because what I went through seems so small from the outside.
After my parents daily fights, I felt like I had to make sure they were both ok, by any means necessary. It felt like a lot of responsibility, and it was, because nobody told me that it wasn't my job
..i've been experiencing these symptoms a lot, the weird thing is that i used to be social and know what to say, i was popular. yet.. i completley changed, i lost my confidence, i pushed them away, i became the quiet kid. i also became a people pleaser. .. but i dont know what couldve traumatised me other than my childhood, which happened a long time ago, and i didnt have any problems with it until recently
Oh wow I can so relate to this. It explains so much of my life but getting help is not as easy as it sounds, where I live very few doctors are willing to take on PTSD sufferers, and those that have aren't taking anymore. That's Life I guess.
I never knew that most of my behavioral traits were trauma related. When I started setting conditions when there weren't any before, that's when people realized they didn't really need me around. Depressing at first, but it cleared my evenings for other things.
I’m all of those things you mentioned. I give in and hold my frustrations until… I can’t anymore. Then I get really angry and walk away from the relationship. No way to fix it. It’s a really bad way of existing. 😞
I relate to this way more than I should. And I think a good part of it is the ramifications of being a fake "nice person" (just watched your video on that).
I hate that I have this. I am trying so hard to reveal who I truly am- but I get scared of being rejected for the actions I do for my own happiness... My mental health is so screwed.
I know it's my trauma. But goddamnit its so hard to correct 😭 I've been being told im too nice for my own good my whole life and i know its my trauma. Ive been trying for the last six years to undo whats been done to me and its soooo hard 😭 Especially because on the rare instance i have gotten myself to stop fawning people DID turn on me. I lost my best friend and pretty much every other friend i had when i first tried to stop. And now its come back stronger than ever because i now have proof that if i stop people WILL turn on me and they WILL leave me
I think I do fawn and people please a lot but I'm slowly trying to set boundaries and not care about what people may think. The part about not feeling responsible for other people... I haven't got over it or rather let me say I haven't grown past it.
Oh wow, the “you feel responsible for other people’s reactions” applies to me quite a bit, I tell my girlfriend how I feel and if they seem saddened by it at all I feel horrible and go have a mini meltdown in private
I'm so thankful for this channel and its videos. You are doing an amazing work with all of these. In this video and so many more i see myself, i wish my close people could understand all of that too. I have supportive parents and friends but they wouldn't really understand these topics and conditions. I hope i feel better soon😥💙
It doesn't have to be like physical abuse, it can be like being scolded when you're angry, or someone being angry at you when you don't want to do what they told you to do, someone blaming you for their problems, etc. I know it from experience.
I realised today that the majority of my personality is the polar opposite of my father’s, some of which may have been a consciously driven attempt to “train” myself not to be like him at all. This has been something of a triple-sided approach. On the one hand, I’ve rejected his negative traits and flaws (too many to mention without trigger warnings), instead developing their objectively beneficial counterparts. On the other hand, the realisation that I basically chose to be the opposite of his negative traits for reasons that may have been borne by preteen angst and rebellion (even with the obvious-in-hindsight traumatic childhood that still lingers to this day in a vestigial capacity) means my motivation was in some way a self-driven, perhaps slightly selfish, endeavour, which feels a little “means to an end” and out of character… But on the third hand, it means my Dad has been something of an “inverse role model,” as in he’s taught me what NOT to be, which in an ironic way has guided me to become the kind of person who’s apparently rare in this society… and yet even with the compliments and support from others, there’s still an undercurrent of humility bordering on impostor syndrome that still leaves me feeling a bit undeserving of such praise. Maybe I still have some growing to do… 🤔
I feel like I relate to 6 out of the 7... The worst part? I don't even know how to start talking to a professional. I just show up and answer their questions, but I don't feel that there is ever any progress being made to recovery. Instead, I just go hide in my room whenever I can to avoid putting myself in situations where this happens. I really just want to get far enough away from this to be able to make a friend.
More or less I can relate to these. I like to help others and give people nice things as gifts, proving that I am their friend. But other day, even I have given greeting on my friends birthdays and invested on gift-cards for all of them during this year (3 of my friends and they invested with me together for each other), this week I had birthday but NONE of them even send a text like "Happy birthday"! I feel betrayed and now I have anxious feeling about it. Am I equal with them or not? Was I too nice ?!
Well now I'm confused. I go from fawning to depression and rejecting everyone at work due to something like not showing up or being punished for getting sick. Then once I'm at work I'll go above and beyond every day for people I don't like
Timestamps
1). You don't feel "seen" 1:31
2). Your values become compromised 2:04
3). You feel responsible for other people's reactions 2:38
4). You're terrified of making decisions for others 3:14
5). You feel guilty about getting angry 3:50
6). You over-apologize 4:21
7). You don't know how to say no 4:54
Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙
You do it in every video right
But thanks it helps 👍
@lovelumity Yes! @A55a551n consistently helps out with his quick time stamps. Thanks again!
@@lovelumity yes why and not a problem happy to help
@@Psych2go happy to help
@@A55a551n No problem I just saw three videos of you doing it and I was sure you only did it once
So I asked because I have seen you in many videos
So no problem I just checked
And I remembered you because of the 💙
For me, its not about trying to be a people pleasure, but when im stressed i tend to isolate from my surroundings. Theres been countless times i droned off into my head because im dealing with overwhelming problems. Its not me trying to please people, but i stay occupied to myself to avoid any drama.
Does it help you de-stress when you isolate yourself?
@Psych2go Usually, it does. Sometimes, I regret it a lot because sometimes I zone out for hours if stress gets overbearing. And isolating causes me to lose touch with reality. And at that point, i forget to remember certain things.
@@insertwordshere6952The exact same thing happens with me and usually when I forget things my family criticizes me about it and I'm stuck to deal with the overbearing thought of why I can't get myself together.
I’ve always felt like I was too nice. And all the things listed is 100 percent me. I remembered my senior year asking people if I was too nice because I was thinking about the way I was being towards other. But seeing these videos make me understand that it’s not the case at all.
What were people's responses when you asked them if you were too nice?
@@Psych2go they just responded no
i dont know what happened. my childhood was awful, tbh i forgot most of what i felt, all i know is that i may have had depression or a really, really bad sadness.
i somehow did get over it, and became the opposite - social, extroverted, popular, i befriended so many people
but then... i changed. completely. i became a people pleaser. i became 'introverted', shy, quiet, i pushed my friends away, and i.. dont know why. what caused the change? the only thing i can think of is what happened in my childhood which was way before both of these events, so i dont get it
I really used to be like this, and carried deep down anger and resentment for others, but i kept smiling. I think i just wanted love and acceptance and i knew i had toxic people that would leave if i didnt comply. Sure enough, as i grew and started to say no, the circle thinned out and now i am "mean" because i speak up for myself. I know this earlier behavior started in childhood living with 2 narc parents and just trying to survive without being put down all the time. I am much better now, but my suggestion is good therapy, and starting the discovery of listening to your inner voice to find out who you are minus what you have heard and been told about yourself. And never ever fear being alone ❤.
Your last two sentences say it all. They’re pure gold. ❤
@@gardenernut5 😊 thanks
I literally just finished the book CPTSD From Surviving to Thriving! I've very much identified with the fawning type.
I think I've heard of the book before. Did you enjoy it?
Getting help in therapy is scary at first but it's worth it. I finally can say after 12 yrs I'm healed. ❤
🫂🩵💙💜
This is WAY TOO relatable for me. Like they actually just deticated an entire video to making me realise all of my problems. I never knew what was wrong with me until now.
It can be both eye-opening and sometimes challenging to see aspects of ourselves reflected in content like this & It's perfectly okay not to have all the answers immediately, that's why discussing your insights with someone you trust can be even more helpful.
I can literally relate to every single one of them
I started noticing such things about myself over past few years but couldn't figure out what was wrong with me
I was blaming myself for reacting in certain ways but couldn't help it
I called myself a coward for not being able to stand up for myself and literally beat myself up for it till I started having mental breakdowns
I just couldn't figure out whome to ask for help as I just didn't know what kind help I was looking for and what was actually wrong with me
This is me rn,it really sucks to be so confused and mentally tired
That sounds like a very tough cycle.. Have you had a chance to seek help from a mental health professional?
It's addictive, and thoroughly upsetting, to beat up on myself when I get frustrated or overwhelmed, and yes, it does cause mental distress. Please take care of yourself as best you can! If that means getting outside help, do so, because you clearly are a good person who deserves so much better.
I relate to this video very much but I have never thought of it as a ptsd symptom. I hope that there is another video explaining what kinda of trauma might lead to this because that might help me and others find out why there are people pleasers and how to grow past the issue.
Thank you for the suggestion. Do you mean what kind of trauma would lead to someone being too nice? Could you elaborate a bit more?
@@Psych2go Yeah. I can't think of anything very traumatic in my life and having examples of different kinds of trauma or what traumatic experiences would most likely lead to this condition would help me understand it and improve my chance on changing for the better. Thanks
your vids never fail to be eyecatching and then i end up watching ur whole channel
I just shared the link to this video with a very close friend of mine who really needs this information in its entirety. And once I’ve finished typing this acknowledgment of my undying gratitude, I shall share it with my mother as well, since we both suffer from a lesser degree of of this very phenomenon.
i never even knew fawning was a thing, and i now realise i relate to like all of these points.
the weird thing is, it's kinda like an alter ego. at home, i am the complete opposite, im like a sociopath/narcissist, kind of, i at least act like it to my family. yet, to everyone else, im a fawn. does this mean anything?!
Realizing that I'm fawning suddenly made me so mad. I don't have any trauma but I've always been like this and it's been getting worse over the years. I thought I was just handling things the right way
Maybe you are just kind to people because you expect reciprocation? I was like that for way too long before I realised maybe 1 in a hundred will reciprocate.
I've noticed that whenever your videos speak on trauma, its always associated with childhood or in this video you showed a baby and said "early in life." I just think it's important to consider that trauma can happen at any age, and I could see how it would make someone who's been traumatized as an adult feel like their trauma isn't valid. Especially with CPTSD. If I remember correctly, this type of trauma happens over time. It's not just one traumatic event, it's your body not knowing when you're going to experience another difficult situation and over time it will cause you to shut down to try to avoid triggers altogether.
So it could actually be linked to high masking autism! I would kinda make sense since high masking autism is all about a neurodivergent person trying to hide their quirks. Living with repetitive small traumatic and stressful social interactions could end up making someone develop fawning as a way of socially trying to fit in somehow…
I agree, it feels like adult trauma is not valid at all. I had also get traumatized during adulthood and it´s still quite tough to get out of this. Especially when therapists keep saying: “what happened to you thorough adulthood does not really matter so much, if you had a good childhood this will not hurt you.”
Really? I don’t think so. If doctors make a mistake, it is a real threat. No one when going thorough this would feel like: “well, never mind. It’s just wrong pills, no big deal. I am just feeling worse after them. Never mind that doctor doesn’t believe me that. Who cares.”
@@springtwigz Wait I'm sorry... what are you referring to? CPTSD is linked to high masking autism?
@@MorgueInTheVoid Im just wondering if it could be linked…
Cinema Therapy did an episode reviewing the Hunger Games movies as related to CPTSD. I don't remember the specifics, nor could I explain it nearly as well as they do--I highly recommend that YT channel as much as this one.
This is so relatable for me. People always say im too nice but im really am not 😢
This is definitely me for sure!
One day I asked a kid if he wanted to be friends with me and then I was like "Wait what if he finds it weird?" so then I said, "Sorry if i'm being weird by just randomly asking you to be my friend"
Gosh… I’ve been trying to work on this for some time now.
I actually lost friends when I finally quit fawning. It’s only looking back now that I realize one of the friends was someone who seemed out people who fawn in order to take advantage of them, because a mutual friend was also a fawner who was extremely conflict avoidant.
It just sucks that the moment I started sticking up for myself I became the villain for everyone they had a connection with.
But while it sucks, I’m glad to realize all of this now because it means I took some toxic people out of my life. I need to focus on me and my own healing from trauma. If those people I once called friends won’t support me because I’m the bad guy for sticking up for myself, then I never needed them.
Thank you guys for making these videos. They really help me a lot :)
This video feels like a gut punch as these signs were exactly how I was when I was younger. Now I just thug it out and call it a day to my problems.
Time stamps!
-------------
sign 1 : You don't feel " seen "
1:33-2:05
sign 2 : Your values become compromise
2:06-2:38
sign 3 : You feel responsible for other people's reactions
2:39-3:13
*sign 4: You're terrified of making decisions for others
3:14-3:49
sign 5: You feel guilty about getting angry
3:50-4:21
*sign 6: You over-apologize
4:22-4:54
*sign 7: You don't know how to say no
4:55-5:37
Thank you so much Psych2Go!! This was extremely helpful!! :D
( if anyone who sees this please feel free to tell me what/if you relate to any of these. I'm so sorry I won't be able to help but hopefully just a talk can help 😭👍 )
I relate to all 7 signs.
Thank you so much! Your time stamps are extremely helpful :)
Absolutely true!
I’m scared to be left alone!!😭😭😭😭😭
This was me my entire life but this year I've taken a deep dive into the world of psychology and have been changing for the better.
But of course as soon as I grow a back bone and start prioritizing my own mental health above the needs and wants of others I'm seen as "self-centered"..
Selfcare is NOT selfish!
Dont ever feel guilty for prioritizing YOU!
I personally view it as a manifestation of self-respect, not selfishness. Here's to a healthier, happier you! 💪💕
Wow. When I saw the title of this Video I thought like, well maybe 1 or 2 signs could be me, but in the end I saw myself in EVERY sign mentioned
Yes I've been told that I try to be too nice and to be more careful..
Can you guys make a video about the connection between disorganization and childhood trauma? It’s a good subject that could help a lot of people 💗
This might be a pretty interesting topic! Is this something that you're personally experiencing?
I second this request :)
That would be helpful to me too
This explains a few things. My trauma is due to a car accident in which i sustained a traumatic brain injury. My partner had trained me into saying "I apologize" rather than "I'm sorry," and into asking whether I actually want to do something when someone asks me to do something, and I've been aware for a while that fawning is probably something I do. This video shows me that it's more of an issue than i was aware. That gives me a starting point-- thank you!
Because of the abuse I went through I decided that it is better to be alone rather than always being put down. I got worse with mental help because I kept getting overdosed and had to learn on my own how to cope and stop medication because the mental medication affected my physical health.
You're deserving of love and care. Take the time you need for yourself, and prioritize what feels right for your overall well-being. You have the strength within you to navigate through anything. Take care and continue to be kind to yourself. 💖
I never knew this existed until now. I’ve always thought that I’m being too much of a people pleaser but after watching this video, I have all the signs mentioned in the video and I realised that I am the fawning type now. 😮
1, 3, 5 and 6 are me to a tee - 7 use to be but coming out of an abusive relationship made me reevaluate a lot about myself, it's taken a hell of a time but slowly I'm learning to say no when I'm not comfortable with something.
I have always been told i am too nice. I try to put myself in others peoples shoes and talk kindly to them. That usually leads to people taking advantage of me. I still am learning to still be polite but if i am being mistreated walk away. That part is hard because i dont wanna hurt people's feelings. But i gotta protect myself
I realized I've always been a people pleaser, agreeing to everything being said. Alot of this video reflects my hollow personality, due to rejection trauma. I always get talked down or 'it's not true' if I try to talk about this kind of subject, so I end up bottling it and resenting parts of myself. Thank you, this really helped this lost person, unsure of her own sense of worth. I'll try to see a psychiatrist.
Trauma fawning is something I've never heard of. My trauma is from childhood and an abusive narcissitic alcoholic mother. I'm going to run this term by my therapist whom I've been with for over three years now and see if she's heard of it. I'm tending to think that even she is taking advantage of me because she charges my Medicare more than what her profile on Psychology Today says and she gets every penny. She seems to forget a lot of the things that I've told her and repeats herself and doesn't seem to listen at times - we do my therapy through the computer so I notice that her mind isn't always there and I find myself having to repeat things in the same session. I may be "fawning" because I'm afraid to change therapists because it's been so long and I don't want to hurt her feelings. Thank you for your video, I now see another clear side of the effects of my emotional trauma. It's time to change therapists, hopefully I can find one.
Yay...don't let people disrespect you. ❤
@@johenderson3742 🥰
I mean... wow. This is what I watch first thing in the morning, and I get personally attacked. I can't tell if I should thank you for the knowledge or not.
There is no such thing as being too nice, sometimes people in life just don't just have your kindness, and that's not on you, being nice and caring is an incredible thing to have don't let anyone wither that down ♡
#1 is me, but I don’t necessarily need to be seen just because I do for others, although a little recognition and checking up on me from time to time would be nice……#2 has been me to a degree since a recent break up, especially when the person who broke it off tries to put all the blame on you. I kinda look at my ways and values a little different. I’m slowly coming to the conclusion that I was somewhat the blame, but not hardly as much as the person who left….I’ll be fine…..#5. Feeling guilty about being angry also is a response to rejection, as so you don’t upset others, even if you’re right in your decision…..#5 ties in with #6, as you lose a relationship (intimate or otherwise), you tend to think all of the blame is yours…IT PROBABLY IS NOT, or even close…..Take time to assess how to move on in a new way in your life, and think of the most brilliant and authentic you BEFORE you met the person that may have abandoned you. And yes, a mental health professional may, or may not be helpful for you, but should be an option.
Signs You're Not Too Nice, It's Your Trauma
∥「 Fawning 」∥
Time stamps:
1. You don't feel "seen" 1:31
2. Your values become compromised 2:04
3. You feel responsible for other people's reactions 2:38
4. You're terrified of making decisions for others 3:14
5. You feel guilty about getting angry 3:50
6. You over apologize 4:22
7. You don't know how to say No 4:54
"Kindness is not equivalent to being a doormat,
erasing your sense of self, or never speaking up for yourself."
Thank you for the time stamps :)
Oh I was noticed! You're welcome, I wanted to do it for my own reference, but I'm glad that it can help others as well (◍•ᴗ•◍)
I thought these were a part of my depression, not ptsd. I appreciate the video
Here before this video is made public
Naur.
Same
@@BuzzennBeeewho
Keep this as the main comment.
yuh
I related to all of these….and I have had a lot of neglected trauma. I started off in in orphanage in Russia and then I was adopted. Shortly after I was adopted, I was thrown outside. Since then, I have been fawning.. that’s basically in a nutshell.
this is a very eye opening experience. I never know there's an actual term for this kind of behaviour. I've always been told and get lectured by everyone of how I am being too nice for my own good when it's just me not wanting to lose friends and getting rejected by people. While I am very grateful of them for looking out for me but I couldn't just help it when some of them keep on making me go on fawn mode with their behaviour. and so the cycle continues. Maybe because I am just too afraid of letting people go let alone if they're one of my close friends. It's very pathetic of me but I don't think I'll ever change the way i think until I get a professional help . Pray for me 🙏
This explains allot of my life, all these points hit really close to home. I do tend to go out of my way to people please for validation ignoring my own needs.
I never had a full understanding on why I was like this in general, now I have some clue that I have some un resolved trauma.
1 to 5 for me,
no.6 I heard too much sorry are annoying so I tried to stop,
no.7 learn about recovering, I did my best to say no.
before watching this video, I thought what I did was never enough since I'm surrounded by good people so I need my best to always be good too. never thought there's something like trauma fawning.
thank you for the video
I knew I'm a people pleaser, but I didn't think I was the "fawning" type. Once I said no to letting someone borrow my drawing pencils, this ruined my mood for a few days
I guess that does apply to me. During most of my life, I was mentally abused by my mother and step-father, and when I tried to assert myself, they always called me out for being wrong.
And now because of that, when someone tells me I'm wrong, sometimes I'll stand my ground, but I often take a step back and try to not hurt their feelings and not oppose them too directly.
I'll often concede things to them so that they don't get upset, even if I don't entirely agree. But in the end, their feelings aren't hurt, but mine are.
I'm starting to wonder if a group of friend I've been in contact with for years isn't taking advantage of that.
I won't enter too much details but basically once I made a vent OC that included my kinks, including unbirth. I decided to show them because I was very proud of the design and thought they could understand.
I was wrong. They said that my character unbirthing people against their will was r*pe. I mean to be fair they had a point. Maybe I shouldn't make inappropriate OCs like that, but it's fictional. It's an vent OC for myself only and I wouldn't actually do that irl even if I could !
They got extremely mad, so I apologized, removed that part of my OC, and kept apologizing but they were still made and became quite rude at some point.
I'm not entirely innocent in this, making this OC the way it was probably was a mistake, even for a vent OC (though I disagree that unbirth is r*pe, it's still not the best I guess), but the way they treated me really made me lose trust in them.
They're long time friends and I thought I could be open to them about anything, even the kind of 18+ stuff I like (our private Discord server literally has a 18+ channel). But I was wrong, and it took me a while to gather the courage to talk to them again.
This is behind us now, but I still feel like they don't understand nor care for my own feelings and want to assert their own into what I do, because there were a few similar (but smaller) incidents here and there between then and now.
Your not in the wrong to have made that OC and it's not a mistake. Especially since it's an OC you made specifically for venting. I believe vent art should never be judged, but studied for meaning and emotion.
I know I have many dark kinks and fantasies, and I think the general population would be disgusted by those ideas. But people need to learn there is a difference between having dark impulses and urges and actually doing them. I still even get confused sometimes.
Also, I'm confused on what exactly you mean by "unbirth" Do you mean killing or another concept entirely?
@@cakeghoul No no killing. Well it's a bit embarassing to get into ^^' Maybe you should look it up yourself. But thanks for the support, I agree with what you're saying.
This behavior ties right in with my Avoidant Personality Disorder, which also stems from childhood rejection trauma.
Number 5 is relatable for me because of my experience with my dad. When I try to correct him, he gets absolutely furious at me and says I am nothing but disrespectful (I did not want him to look at my phone wallpaper, but he insisted to look at it). he also yells at me "DO YOU SEE HOW YOU'RE BEHAVING?!". after that, he emotionally gave up on me and told me "GET OUT OF MY SIGHT!", "LEAVE ME!". Because of this, I am just doing what he wished (he is now a shadow in my life). If you meet my dad, he can come off as friendly and talkative, but if you get to know him, he has a bad temper and always insists he is right.
Wow
7 Signs You’re Not Too Nice, It’s Your Trauma
1. You don’t feel “seen”
2. Your values become compromised
3. You feel responsible for other people’s reaction
4. You’re tired of making decisions for others
5. You feel guilty about getting angry
6. You over-apologize
7. You don’t know how to say NO
Thank you for the quick summary!
Waiiit this is too relatable 😭😭
This is me all day everyday. I am so glad there is a name for it.
All 7
Really a great video I have many of these qualities and I am working on them and I am not ashamed to say this and I can change them without going to take a consultation, sometimes we just need to accept ourselves first, then monitor our thoughts and implementation may take time is okay but you will find out if you are really loyal Your brothers do this in order to please others,, no one, even a doctor, can know your personality more than you, we just need to accept and then correct Thank you for the beautiful video🙂❤️❤️❤️
I feel like I used to be like this a lot when I was younger. It was easier to just be quiet and do whatever anybody else wanted because when I expressed myself, I would be ignored, shut down, or yelled at.
This is soooooo me. But what I wonder, is is it fawning when you were taught to be that way? Granted, I was taught to be this way by my abusive family members. They always expected me to be sorry for everything, to say yes to everything others asked, to ignore my own wants and needs (even telling me I was selfish if I didn't want to do something), to do everything for everyone else as the cost of myself while being completely invisible (children are to be seen and never heard, they're showpieces afterall). Not wanting to be responsible for others is the prime reason I avoided becoming a lawyer (and am glad (yet sad) I don't have kids), which, to this day, I have people telling me I'd be good at (including legal professors I had for classes). I mean, I'm barely responsible for myself, how can I possibly hold someone else's wellbeing in my hands? I've learned not to stretch myself too thin, not by saying no, but by avoiding people so I don't have to say yes because only my few family members (yes the abusive ones) ask me anything now and I have to say yes to them even when I really don't want to. Avoidance for the win! Oh, and as for my values? I've never been allowed to have my own values around other people. If I had any value, belief or idea that goes against my family, I'm verbally abused for it. I have to be from their mold and agree with them about everything, or I'm nothing but a punching bag. In my mid 40s and I'm finally starting to figure out who I am, even while still dealing with this abuse (I can't get away from it). Who am I? A total loser who's intelligent but everyone sees as stupid, and I'm completely unemployable which makes me more of a loser.
I was thinking this was me about 10 years ago, with lots of counselling and the love of the right person, who challenges me daily, just enough. I no longer feel like a doormat and its okay to say no. Its still a struggle daily with my ACES (Adverse Childhood Events) and CPTSD but changing my job to non person facing as well as everything else has helped tremendously.
I knew this all along, but this fully describes me. However, I've also often been told I've always a kind nature. One story my mum told me was when she was crying for some reason and I handed her my dummy/pacifier because I knew that stopped me from crying, I was a toddler. I think half of my kindness stems from trauma and the other half from the "kind nature" thing.
It sounds like you've had a complex journey, and your kindness shines through even amid challenging circumstances. Your early gesture as a toddler, offering comfort to your mom, reflects a compassionate nature that seems to have been a part of you from a young age. It's common for our experiences, both positive and challenging, to shape different aspects of our personalities.
My sister, a therapist, said I might have C-PTSD, this video nailed everyone of these... i'll have to talk to my therpaist about this...
This was very enlightening and helpful. I was way too nice growing up as a child.
Thank you for the information. ❤
I feel like I'm only a decent person today because of my trauma. I ruined my own friendships and my actions started a chain of events that gave me this trauma. I was scared into bettering myself to have any hope of making or keeping any friends in the future, to not have it all happen again. I still don't have any friends or a way of making them.
My personality has improved tenfold, but at the biggest cost for my mental health in general. I'm slowly getting better while still maintaining the kindness I've built up. Though it feels selfish of me to say I'm even traumatized because what I went through seems so small from the outside.
After my parents daily fights, I felt like I had to make sure they were both ok, by any means necessary. It felt like a lot of responsibility, and it was, because nobody told me that it wasn't my job
People need to learn the word NO. Having to say it over and over gets old
..i've been experiencing these symptoms a lot, the weird thing is that i used to be social and know what to say, i was popular. yet.. i completley changed, i lost my confidence, i pushed them away, i became the quiet kid. i also became a people pleaser.
..
but i dont know what couldve traumatised me other than my childhood, which happened a long time ago, and i didnt have any problems with it until recently
Oh wow I can so relate to this. It explains so much of my life but getting help is not as easy as it sounds, where I live very few doctors are willing to take on PTSD sufferers, and those that have aren't taking anymore. That's Life I guess.
I never knew that most of my behavioral traits were trauma related. When I started setting conditions when there weren't any before, that's when people realized they didn't really need me around. Depressing at first, but it cleared my evenings for other things.
This video was a mirror. Every one of these is me!
3, 5, 6 and 7 for me... I went through counseling because my Mom died, but we also uncovered all the problems
I've experienced these fawning signs😢
Thanks. I needed this. Will take this to my next therapy session.
I’m all of those things you mentioned. I give in and hold my frustrations until… I can’t anymore. Then I get really angry and walk away from the relationship. No way to fix it. It’s a really bad way of existing. 😞
I relate to this way more than I should. And I think a good part of it is the ramifications of being a fake "nice person" (just watched your video on that).
I hate that I have this. I am trying so hard to reveal who I truly am- but I get scared of being rejected for the actions I do for my own happiness... My mental health is so screwed.
i know im a simp for this but im not lying when i say she has a very cute voice - also the animations are also very cute
I know it's my trauma. But goddamnit its so hard to correct 😭 I've been being told im too nice for my own good my whole life and i know its my trauma. Ive been trying for the last six years to undo whats been done to me and its soooo hard 😭 Especially because on the rare instance i have gotten myself to stop fawning people DID turn on me. I lost my best friend and pretty much every other friend i had when i first tried to stop. And now its come back stronger than ever because i now have proof that if i stop people WILL turn on me and they WILL leave me
Hello! Thank you for your videos! They help me out a lot.
I've never had a word for what happens to me during those moments.
Great video! Thanks for sharing
I used to do all of these , but now I say and think in my head ,”eff that !”
I relate to everything but i dint remember having trauma, and a lot have said im to nice and i hate it being to nice but i cant help it
I think I do fawn and people please a lot but I'm slowly trying to set boundaries and not care about what people may think. The part about not feeling responsible for other people... I haven't got over it or rather let me say I haven't grown past it.
Oh wow this is totally me especially not being able to say no
Oh wow, the “you feel responsible for other people’s reactions” applies to me quite a bit, I tell my girlfriend how I feel and if they seem saddened by it at all I feel horrible and go have a mini meltdown in private
Thanks for this! I relate to it a lot!
Istg these videos is literally like therapy
I'm so thankful for this channel and its videos. You are doing an amazing work with all of these. In this video and so many more i see myself, i wish my close people could understand all of that too. I have supportive parents and friends but they wouldn't really understand these topics and conditions. I hope i feel better soon😥💙
Sometimes I feel like I need therapy especially after watching a video like this but it costs money to get therapy 😕
what could this trauma be? like does it have to be as serious as physical abuse, or could it just be something like a friend abandoning you?
It doesn't have to be like physical abuse, it can be like being scolded when you're angry, or someone being angry at you when you don't want to do what they told you to do, someone blaming you for their problems, etc. I know it from experience.
Depends on what you can tolerate. A traumatic experience is subjective.
@@nurulkharisma8096 oh okay ty
@@buggus0034 ah okay ty
People who have been near me for a long time or just meet have always said I'm too nice, most of these are true, not all & some I have worked through.
This is pretty eye opening for me.
I also always feel like I have to justify my actions to others and I'm trying to get over that
the one time i got into a WHOLE PANIC ATTACK just because my friends were upset of me
My current reality🍃
I realised today that the majority of my personality is the polar opposite of my father’s, some of which may have been a consciously driven attempt to “train” myself not to be like him at all.
This has been something of a triple-sided approach. On the one hand, I’ve rejected his negative traits and flaws (too many to mention without trigger warnings), instead developing their objectively beneficial counterparts.
On the other hand, the realisation that I basically chose to be the opposite of his negative traits for reasons that may have been borne by preteen angst and rebellion (even with the obvious-in-hindsight traumatic childhood that still lingers to this day in a vestigial capacity) means my motivation was in some way a self-driven, perhaps slightly selfish, endeavour, which feels a little “means to an end” and out of character…
But on the third hand, it means my Dad has been something of an “inverse role model,” as in he’s taught me what NOT to be, which in an ironic way has guided me to become the kind of person who’s apparently rare in this society… and yet even with the compliments and support from others, there’s still an undercurrent of humility bordering on impostor syndrome that still leaves me feeling a bit undeserving of such praise.
Maybe I still have some growing to do… 🤔
Holy shit I feel the exact same way, just with my mum instead of my dad. You just put something huge I'm going through right now into words thank you.
@@cakeghoul You’re welcome. 😅
I feel like I relate to 6 out of the 7...
The worst part? I don't even know how to start talking to a professional. I just show up and answer their questions, but I don't feel that there is ever any progress being made to recovery. Instead, I just go hide in my room whenever I can to avoid putting myself in situations where this happens.
I really just want to get far enough away from this to be able to make a friend.
You just described me 😢
I'm crying 😭
More or less I can relate to these. I like to help others and give people nice things as gifts, proving that I am their friend. But other day, even I have given greeting on my friends birthdays and invested on gift-cards for all of them during this year (3 of my friends and they invested with me together for each other), this week I had birthday but NONE of them even send a text like "Happy birthday"! I feel betrayed and now I have anxious feeling about it. Am I equal with them or not? Was I too nice ?!
You expected reciprocation... but they don't think that way. Sorry.
Your kindness and generosity are wonderful qualities, but it's essential for friendships to be built on mutual appreciation and support.
Thanks for the lesson
This is literally me..thank you for this video..
i just got called out so hard
Dang I have some friends that may fawn! A best friend, even!
I relate to all of them, but i'm forcing myself to work on them but its too hard, there is a guilt, deep inside me, and it hurts very bad :(
Great video but holy hell that beep scared the shit out of me
Well now I'm confused. I go from fawning to depression and rejecting everyone at work due to something like not showing up or being punished for getting sick. Then once I'm at work I'll go above and beyond every day for people I don't like