I’m an 8w7, my girlfriend is a 5w4, and it works perfectly. In almost three years of dating we’ve argued maybe once - and it was scheduled for after work “when it could be constructive.” Once there, we communicated our frustrations, identified what we could change to avoid the issue in future, and then committed to actioning the changes. Worked great!
TIMECODES: Overview (0:00) Type 1 (0:52 ) Type 2 (1:35) Type 3 (2:33) Type 4 (3:43) My secret weapon, Skillshare! (4:21) Type 5 (5:29) Type 6 (6:16) Type 7 (6:54) Type 8 (7:30) Type 9 (8:22)
right there with ya, as a fellow 5w4. Do you find that your often torn, as the 5 part of me wants someone who matches my values and needs, but the idealistic 4 part of me attaches those values and needs to a perfect dream?
I also did this. Types as chocolate 1. Ginger flavoured chocolate Ginger sounds about right. 2. Strawberry flavoured chocolate It's sweet. It's fruity. 3. Mint flavoured chocolate The most popular chocolate. 4. Chilli flavoured chocolate Very unique and very different. 5. Dark chocolate I heard that dark chocolate is good for the brain. 6. Plain milk chocolate You can't go wrong with simple milk chocolate. 7. Popping candy flavoured chocolate Popping here. Popping there. 8. Chocolate covered biscuit It's tough. It's bold. 9. White chocolate Milky and creamy.
I’m a 8, but I love getting flowers! We love practical and meaningful gifts! Focus more on gifts and activities that have a purpose (but flowers are always welcome because of their thoughtfulness).
I just made this. Types breaking stereotypes. Type 1 'I am fun' Type 2 'Do it yourself for once' Type 3 'I understand people love me for who I am not what I have' Type 4 'I don't care what people think of me' Type 5 'I don't need to be on my own' Type 6 'I can take risks' Type 7 'I can take things seriously' Type 8 'I can accept my vulnerabilities' Type 9 'I can make my own decisions'
In my eyes, one danger for 5s in relationships is the ease with which we can disconnect and be contentedly reclusive makes it all that much easier to be too harsh in debates and arguments... because we know we can deal with the consequences if what we say makes you not want to talk to us anymore. Other types will make cutting remarks they later say they "didn't mean," seemingly unaware of the repercussions during heated moments, then beg for forgiveness after the inevitable fallout. I say what I mean and mean what I say. So if I say something mean or harsh, sorry, but I meant it. I say so being fully aware of the potential consequences in the moment, and being okay with those consequences. If it ever comes down to a battle of cold shoulders and silent treatment, I know that I will likely outlast you and be able to go longer than you can without giving in and reaching out. Now that I write this, I realize it probably sounds emotionally immature, or at least cold. But I do wish other types could learn to be responsible for what they say in anger, think about the effect of their words, and say what they actually mean. Anyway, my point was that this tendency can be rather self-sabatoging in the long run. It's too easy to think "Screw you; if you can't handle the truth, then you can't handle me, and I'd rather be alone than have to censor myself." Problem is, like you said, Abbey, 5s actually do flourish in relationships, and on some levels we really need that interaction to draw us out of our shell, teach us how to communicate tactfully, teach us how to share, and give us the intimacy I think we all crave on some deeper level. Also, even the most cerebral type has physical needs. Maybe this is related more to the instinctual variants sx/sp (sexual vs self-preservation), but I've always felt like there's a war inside me between the need for intimacy and the need for personal space and privacy. It's like, "Come closer... Whoah whoah whoah not that close..." ... "Go away... but not too far" ... "Leave me alone, but don't leave" I want to know people on a very deep level and be able to share secrets, but at the same time can only handle so much talking and interaction, and am very guarded and reluctant to open up. I once saw a meme along the lines of "All I ask is that you get to know me on a deep, intimate level, while I resist and obstruct your every attempt to do so." lol Fitting. Any other 5s here who aren't wholly self-preserving have any idea what I'm talking about?
@@julinaonYT Ahhh, yes. I am also criticized for almost never apologizing, even though it's because I rarely regret what I said and won't lie to their face and say I'm sorry if I'm not. You'd think they'd appreciate the honesty, at least. But one thing I've learned is that people interpret the word "sorry" different ways. To me it means you regret something and take responsibility for its consequences (e.g. "I'm sorry I lied"), but to others it's merely how they communicate empathy, even if it's not their fault, more along the lines of condolences (e.g. "I'm sorry to hear that"). I won't say "sorry" for things that are outside of my control. But one tip I can offer you is that people tend to feel offended by the phrasing "I'm sorry you feel that way," because it seems patronizing or like a half-assed apology where you're shifting the burden of responsibility onto them. Even if their emotions are technically their responsibility, believe it or not, some people will assume that however they feel is how you intended to make them feel. You might only be trying to make a point, but if hearing it makes them angry, they will assume you were actually trying to make them angry, intentionally... I know it's not very logical, but it's how some people think. So instead of saying "I'm sorry you feel that way," sometimes just communicating that you weren't trying to make them upset is better.
@@Gman0440-Gamer That's actually an interesting observation. 5 moves to 8 in growth, and 8 moves to 5 in stress. So in some ways, it makes sense. I've once heard it summed up nicely that 8s exert control over others with their presence, while 5s exert control over others with their absence. So I do see the disappearing act (as well as withdrawing in general) as more 5-ish. But I can totally see the parallels in 8s. Both fear dependence on other people, though I think 8s have more of a pervasive fear of being controlled (to the extent it comes across as paranoid to me). I sort of see an 8 more as puppeteering the strings to stay in control, while I see a 5 silently withdrawing to maintain independence. I see 8s as being more assertive about their boundaries and having less fear in directly ending a relationship face to face. While I aspire to that, I struggle with it. I'm more likely to sneak out and disappear for a few days, refusing to answer my phone or give an explanation, to force them to learn what it's like to live without me, to put them through the uncertainty. Maybe in some ways that is more cruel. But I imagine an 8 would also think it cowardly. My tendency to dig my heels in deeper when someone pushes too hard has only come with age. I used to buckle more easily. I'd like to think that's growth. As a 5, there is that "8 voice" inside of me saying "don't be weak." But it's something we have to work on. Any thoughts or anything you wish to elaborate on?
I’m a 6w5.... and I feel seen 😬 I told my 9w8 husband I wouldn’t believe that he’s not going anywhere until we had a legally binding document saying he’s stuck with me 🤷🏻♀️
6w7 and feel attacked tbh. I don't think I'll believe my partner isn't going anywhere even after we've gotten married (we've already been together four and a half years). 😭
I also made this Types of Anger Personifications Type 1 - Rice being boiled Type 2 - Campfire Type 3 - Fireworks Type 4 - Flood Type 5 - North Pole Type 6 - Storm Type 7 - Volcanic Eruption Type 8 - Forest Fire Type 9 - Popping Candy
The more of your videos I watch, the more I relate to the 'person who has to interact with all these different types'. More than my own number sometimes! I'm always like "Yeah, I feel you clear glasses hoodie wearing Abbey." Love your vids, keep doing what you do :)
Ooh!! This video was released on my birthday!! Which is funny, because I'm very, very much what you said Twos are in relationships. I've got this friend (a One) that we joke would be the "friend wife," acting as if you're just friends, even if she's your wife. In addition, we've agreed I am the "wife friend," your friend that acts like your wife. Lol. ALL OF THESE WERE SO FUNNY!! Honestly, it's two years old, but it still hits hard! You never fail to do quality AND quantity!
In my experience with 6s, or at least male 6s, the insecurity is more likely to come out as, "Are you mad at me?" Heaven forbid you take an hour to respond to a text or all of a sudden they think you're mad at them. That, or defensive comments out of the blue, defending themselves against allegations you weren't even thinking, nevermind alluding to or insinuating. The frustrating part is when it takes hours of arguing to get to the bottom of the defensiveness and uncover the mystery of what they assume you're assuming about them :/
6:07 has me laughing. I'm a five and that's legitimately one of my favorite random fun facts to share with people!! 😂 So far, no one has found it nearly as amusing as I did when I first found out...
As a 4w3, I love it when my boyfriend does the little things. In our relationship, I am the one who can't cook, but he is so amazing at it. Can you do the types as boyfriends?
I'm a 2, I know I have a tendency to do this, so I try to control it on the outside, but this is how manic I feel on the inside. JUST LET ME LOVE YOU!!! 🤣
I would like to see another video like this where we see the enneagram types in alignment as healthy girlfriends, to see a more positive perspective/example and not just the annoying parts of dating them.
I’m dating a 6 (I’m a 7) and this was so relatable lol. She is always like “do you still love me” at least once every time we see each other . Also you make great videos, so keep up the good work 👍👍👍
Lol, as a 5, having never seen this video, I got the girl I'm dating (an 8 or a 5, she's not sure. I think she's a 5 with 8 tendencies like me ) an orchid plant. Also, I'm a very romantic 5 and love when I'm able to find someone who I can be my romantic, cheesy self with. Tell me your love languages, and I will make them my mission.
My then boyfriend helped support me when I went back to college and finished my degree. We are now married and he told me much later that he thought that I was going to dump him once I graduated. He should have known better! I'm a 6!
As a 6, I gave my (now fiancé) 3 separate chances to leave me. After the 3rd time, he was like “I’m not going anywhere.” To which I replied, “Well now if you leave, I’ll be even more wrecked” 😂 thankfully he hasn’t and has no plans to He’s a 7
This is too funny & spot on 😂😂 I am a 6 and I’m always asking my husband whose a 9, if he still loves me 😂😂 after 10 yrs he’s still puzzled why I always ask lol
You debunking the myth about fives, I can only say Thank. 👏 You. 👏 For the longest time I didn’t think I could be a five because of the stereotype of being cool, unfeeling Spocks, which I’ve never identified with. Being nervous and uncomfortable with strong emotional reactions from others or expressing my own deeper emotions doesn’t mean I don’t have them or wish for close, meaningful relationships. It just means I’m easily overwhelmed and need to take it slow and steady ❤️.
As a 4, YES. When things don’t live up to what I have in my head I start getting the ick and I just don’t feel excited anymore. It didn’t take a lot and I would change my mind about someone so quickly. HOWEVER when I found someone that did check all of the major romance boxes I had, I was SO ready to be swept off of my feet. I “knew” he was the one after two dates and I said “I love you” about a month into the relationship! We have been together for 3 1/2 years and are getting married next October!
I’m a 6 and I can say this is so true! My boyfriend and I broke up not to long ago and he got very annoyed with me because I was always asking for reassurance that I wasn’t annoying or that he still cared or what ever it might Be!
Great video!! This one made my day!As a probable 5, I completely agree with your analysis of type 5 in a relationship. I'm sure the other types are equally accurate. Two thumbs up!!
Over the last decade I, a 9, have become much better at managing my natural tendency of passive-aggressiveness at home with my 5 significant other. He very much just wants me to communicate in a straightforward way so I've learned that beating around the bush with him creates more conflict which of course I don't want! I still want him to figure out what he did or said wrong, but I don't feel like giving him the cold shoulder too much anymore. 😉
Yep, 9 is totally accurate lol. I'm a 9w1 and so is my girlfriend, and sometimes it's nearly impossible to get each other to open up about emotions. We're both definitely getting better about it though, at least.
Pretty sure my brother is a 4 and he’s always telling me what I should be eating. Like several times he’s given me lists of foods that I should be eating. 😂
IM CACKLING AT THE FOUR!! That’s literally so me… took me an entire year of “OMG idk if this is right or not!!” To finally realize that I was being too hard on my boyfriend 🥲
I’m a 2 but I relate to 3s so much. I always hide my imperfections and pretend to be cheerful and bubbly all the time around my romantic partners or friends
I feel like as a self preservation 1 the way 1s are perceived is a bit more on the other two subtypes. For me anyway it's less about what they're doing wrong and more about keeping myself to a high standard of righteousness to deserve the love I receive and getting frustrated with myself if I don't meet those standards and needing reassurance from my partner that what I'm doing is enough.
Also, loved the video (obviously). The 6 girlfriend seems really cute but exhausting. I have a feel for it considering my w6 but I gotta say I try to turn dates into experiences rather than invite others in because as a 7 with a 3 fix, I kinda need the attention to be on me.
@@AbbeyHowe Hey Abbey, I know the comment section is not for problem solving but could you help a gal out here? My boyfriend is a 3 and I may have accidentally offended him by claiming something wasn't that hard to study. How do I make this up to him? I don't want to make him feel less than but I feel lost :/
@@TheKgal89 Shoot, I'm sorry you're going through that. I would say just prioritize communication. Maybe have a sit-down talk where you explain where you were coming from, apologize, and use words of affirmation!
@@AbbeyHowe Thanks. So the dumb thing I said was "No, really? That was not hard to read at all. I found it fine." How do I walk back from this? I don't want to put myself down or dumb myself to lift him up but he is being a bit morose.
4 here! And I'm a serial dater. I want everything and nothing all at once. I understand my tendencies aren't healthy, and I'm at the point where I just want to be alone so I don't continue to hurt people 😬 should I get help? Lol
#2 is TOTALLY my husband and I love him so much but sometimes the over giving drives me nuts and the downside is sometimes I can get used to him doing way to much for me and I literally have to make myself do more for myself so he can do more for himself. Lol
I've made several videos about what to do if you're struggling with finding your type! ruclips.net/video/Forb08YD8co/видео.html, ruclips.net/video/CZ3A-gnE7v4/видео.html, ruclips.net/video/5ubZPIsokA8/видео.html
As a 9, I think the biggest challenge is to get in touch with my own feelings and, most importantly expressing this to the other person. Can a type 9 be in a successful relationship with a type 1?
This is actually kind of difficult for me to bring up again as a 9, but here goes... Were you still planning on doing a How to Love a Type 9 video? You said you had it scheduled for the 14th and it’s the 24th now. I’ve really been looking forward to it and I’m a little sad that it seems like it’s been forgotten.
I am so proud of you Yvonne for speaking up and getting your needs met! I had some schedule conflicts that pushed it back HOWEVER I PROMISE it will be released this Monday 9/28!!!! I hope it lives up to your expectations. 😚
@@AbbeyHowe This 9 and his 5 husband are looking forward to it, too! We enjoyed "How to love a 5," and he very much agreed with your take on loving his type. ❤👍
It’s not true for me. I’m a 4, and INTJ. People always paint us as loners and stone cold people but I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year now and have never thought anything about breaking up with him because he wasn’t what I imagined. Imagination can’t always be reality. Nobody is perfect, and I’m okay with that. I love my bf and wouldn’t try to change him
![Blox Fruits Dragon Rework Update [Full Stream]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EqDAp8udhm0/mqdefault.jpg)
Next watch Enneagram Types as Boyfriends! ruclips.net/video/oz55p9CtDPo/видео.html
As a 4, the most Romantic relationships have occurred in my head. When they are always around, they don't live up to the Romantic expectation at all.
the ones in your head are probably very romantic and exciting!!
As a guy type 5, this means a lot. When I lean on my 4 wing in romance, and want to be super romantic and "cheesy". Gives me hope
Holy shit youre so right
Ooooohhhh!!!!! SAY IT LOUDER!!!!!!
Yep... Sounds right.
I’m an 8w7, my girlfriend is a 5w4, and it works perfectly. In almost three years of dating we’ve argued maybe once - and it was scheduled for after work “when it could be constructive.” Once there, we communicated our frustrations, identified what we could change to avoid the issue in future, and then committed to actioning the changes. Worked great!
TIMECODES:
Overview (0:00)
Type 1 (0:52 )
Type 2 (1:35)
Type 3 (2:33)
Type 4 (3:43)
My secret weapon, Skillshare! (4:21)
Type 5 (5:29)
Type 6 (6:16)
Type 7 (6:54)
Type 8 (7:30)
Type 9 (8:22)
I'm really impressed with your forethought of putting the skill share ad right before the type 5. Perfect!
I am a 9... and I suppressed years of anger and didn't even know it... I'm much more in touch with my anger now... I'm very grateful to the ennegram.
As a sexual Type 5w4 I appreciate you addressing the stereotype of us not wanting a relationship. Like, all I want is a relationship lol!
right there with ya, as a fellow 5w4. Do you find that your often torn, as the 5 part of me wants someone who matches my values and needs, but the idealistic 4 part of me attaches those values and needs to a perfect dream?
I also did this.
Types as chocolate
1. Ginger flavoured chocolate
Ginger sounds about right.
2. Strawberry flavoured chocolate
It's sweet. It's fruity.
3. Mint flavoured chocolate
The most popular chocolate.
4. Chilli flavoured chocolate
Very unique and very different.
5. Dark chocolate
I heard that dark chocolate is good for the brain.
6. Plain milk chocolate
You can't go wrong with simple milk chocolate.
7. Popping candy flavoured chocolate
Popping here. Popping there.
8. Chocolate covered biscuit
It's tough. It's bold.
9. White chocolate
Milky and creamy.
ooooh love this!!
@@AbbeyHowe Thanks.
Im DEFENEAFLY 9 NOW
Oooh, I'm a Type 5 and I love dark chocolate!
You nailed the chocolate for a 4!
I’m a 8, but I love getting flowers! We love practical and meaningful gifts! Focus more on gifts and activities that have a purpose (but flowers are always welcome because of their thoughtfulness).
I just made this.
Types breaking stereotypes.
Type 1 'I am fun'
Type 2 'Do it yourself for once'
Type 3 'I understand people love me for who I am not what I have'
Type 4 'I don't care what people think of me'
Type 5 'I don't need to be on my own'
Type 6 'I can take risks'
Type 7 'I can take things seriously'
Type 8 'I can accept my vulnerabilities'
Type 9 'I can make my own decisions'
oooh I love this!! could I post it on my Instagram?
Yes
I'd love it.
@@Robin_Hood_X_Beast_Boy_Forever oh yay! I will give you credit in the caption!
@@AbbeyHowe Awe.
In my eyes, one danger for 5s in relationships is the ease with which we can disconnect and be contentedly reclusive makes it all that much easier to be too harsh in debates and arguments... because we know we can deal with the consequences if what we say makes you not want to talk to us anymore. Other types will make cutting remarks they later say they "didn't mean," seemingly unaware of the repercussions during heated moments, then beg for forgiveness after the inevitable fallout. I say what I mean and mean what I say. So if I say something mean or harsh, sorry, but I meant it. I say so being fully aware of the potential consequences in the moment, and being okay with those consequences. If it ever comes down to a battle of cold shoulders and silent treatment, I know that I will likely outlast you and be able to go longer than you can without giving in and reaching out. Now that I write this, I realize it probably sounds emotionally immature, or at least cold. But I do wish other types could learn to be responsible for what they say in anger, think about the effect of their words, and say what they actually mean.
Anyway, my point was that this tendency can be rather self-sabatoging in the long run. It's too easy to think "Screw you; if you can't handle the truth, then you can't handle me, and I'd rather be alone than have to censor myself." Problem is, like you said, Abbey, 5s actually do flourish in relationships, and on some levels we really need that interaction to draw us out of our shell, teach us how to communicate tactfully, teach us how to share, and give us the intimacy I think we all crave on some deeper level. Also, even the most cerebral type has physical needs. Maybe this is related more to the instinctual variants sx/sp (sexual vs self-preservation), but I've always felt like there's a war inside me between the need for intimacy and the need for personal space and privacy. It's like, "Come closer... Whoah whoah whoah not that close..." ... "Go away... but not too far" ... "Leave me alone, but don't leave" I want to know people on a very deep level and be able to share secrets, but at the same time can only handle so much talking and interaction, and am very guarded and reluctant to open up. I once saw a meme along the lines of "All I ask is that you get to know me on a deep, intimate level, while I resist and obstruct your every attempt to do so." lol Fitting. Any other 5s here who aren't wholly self-preserving have any idea what I'm talking about?
I do 🙃
100% living that inner war every day
@@julinaonYT Ahhh, yes. I am also criticized for almost never apologizing, even though it's because I rarely regret what I said and won't lie to their face and say I'm sorry if I'm not. You'd think they'd appreciate the honesty, at least. But one thing I've learned is that people interpret the word "sorry" different ways. To me it means you regret something and take responsibility for its consequences (e.g. "I'm sorry I lied"), but to others it's merely how they communicate empathy, even if it's not their fault, more along the lines of condolences (e.g. "I'm sorry to hear that"). I won't say "sorry" for things that are outside of my control. But one tip I can offer you is that people tend to feel offended by the phrasing "I'm sorry you feel that way," because it seems patronizing or like a half-assed apology where you're shifting the burden of responsibility onto them. Even if their emotions are technically their responsibility, believe it or not, some people will assume that however they feel is how you intended to make them feel. You might only be trying to make a point, but if hearing it makes them angry, they will assume you were actually trying to make them angry, intentionally... I know it's not very logical, but it's how some people think. So instead of saying "I'm sorry you feel that way," sometimes just communicating that you weren't trying to make them upset is better.
Lol seems more 8 than anything
@@Gman0440-Gamer That's actually an interesting observation. 5 moves to 8 in growth, and 8 moves to 5 in stress. So in some ways, it makes sense. I've once heard it summed up nicely that 8s exert control over others with their presence, while 5s exert control over others with their absence. So I do see the disappearing act (as well as withdrawing in general) as more 5-ish. But I can totally see the parallels in 8s. Both fear dependence on other people, though I think 8s have more of a pervasive fear of being controlled (to the extent it comes across as paranoid to me). I sort of see an 8 more as puppeteering the strings to stay in control, while I see a 5 silently withdrawing to maintain independence. I see 8s as being more assertive about their boundaries and having less fear in directly ending a relationship face to face. While I aspire to that, I struggle with it. I'm more likely to sneak out and disappear for a few days, refusing to answer my phone or give an explanation, to force them to learn what it's like to live without me, to put them through the uncertainty. Maybe in some ways that is more cruel. But I imagine an 8 would also think it cowardly. My tendency to dig my heels in deeper when someone pushes too hard has only come with age. I used to buckle more easily. I'd like to think that's growth. As a 5, there is that "8 voice" inside of me saying "don't be weak." But it's something we have to work on. Any thoughts or anything you wish to elaborate on?
I’m a 6w5.... and I feel seen 😬
I told my 9w8 husband I wouldn’t believe that he’s not going anywhere until we had a legally binding document saying he’s stuck with me 🤷🏻♀️
😂 amazing!!
6w7 and feel attacked tbh. I don't think I'll believe my partner isn't going anywhere even after we've gotten married (we've already been together four and a half years). 😭
I also made this
Types of Anger Personifications
Type 1 - Rice being boiled
Type 2 - Campfire
Type 3 - Fireworks
Type 4 - Flood
Type 5 - North Pole
Type 6 - Storm
Type 7 - Volcanic Eruption
Type 8 - Forest Fire
Type 9 - Popping Candy
nice!!
Thanks. ♡♡♡
Are most fives icy cold when angry? I tend to hold it in until I explode! (I'm a five)
Flood. As in... tears? Cause I do be sobbing lol
I’m an 8 and I DEFINITELY ACT LIKE THIS OMG💀 every time someone gets flowers I’m like bruh they die. Wuts the point.
The more of your videos I watch, the more I relate to the 'person who has to interact with all these different types'. More than my own number sometimes! I'm always like "Yeah, I feel you clear glasses hoodie wearing Abbey." Love your vids, keep doing what you do :)
hahah, honestly! I call her "Yebba" (Abbey backwards 😂)
@@AbbeyHowe Haha! "Yebba", I love it!!😂👌
Ooh!! This video was released on my birthday!! Which is funny, because I'm very, very much what you said Twos are in relationships. I've got this friend (a One) that we joke would be the "friend wife," acting as if you're just friends, even if she's your wife. In addition, we've agreed I am the "wife friend," your friend that acts like your wife. Lol.
ALL OF THESE WERE SO FUNNY!! Honestly, it's two years old, but it still hits hard! You never fail to do quality AND quantity!
In my experience with 6s, or at least male 6s, the insecurity is more likely to come out as, "Are you mad at me?" Heaven forbid you take an hour to respond to a text or all of a sudden they think you're mad at them. That, or defensive comments out of the blue, defending themselves against allegations you weren't even thinking, nevermind alluding to or insinuating. The frustrating part is when it takes hours of arguing to get to the bottom of the defensiveness and uncover the mystery of what they assume you're assuming about them :/
The 8 response - Even though you're wrong... I have said that!!!! 😂😂
My husband is a 5 and the most wonderful partner... and yes they love relationships.
6:07 has me laughing. I'm a five and that's legitimately one of my favorite random fun facts to share with people!! 😂
So far, no one has found it nearly as amusing as I did when I first found out...
wait... really??? that's amazing!!
@@AbbeyHowe No joke!!
As a 4w3, I love it when my boyfriend does the little things. In our relationship, I am the one who can't cook, but he is so amazing at it. Can you do the types as boyfriends?
absolutely! I want to make one soon!
Omg 2 stresses me out! I'm a 4
I'm a 5 and it's true... I feel like I start my day at 50% and love to research things so I come off as a grumpy anti-social nerd
I'm a 2, I know I have a tendency to do this, so I try to control it on the outside, but this is how manic I feel on the inside. JUST LET ME LOVE YOU!!! 🤣
"JUST LET ME LOVE YOU!!" 😆 😂
I'm a type 2 and last week I literally baked a whole tray of chocolate muffins for my boyfriend to bring to work and his family. I feel ~exposed~
I would like to see another video like this where we see the enneagram types in alignment as healthy girlfriends, to see a more positive perspective/example and not just the annoying parts of dating them.
I’m dating a 6 (I’m a 7) and this was so relatable lol. She is always like “do you still love me” at least once every time we see each other . Also you make great videos, so keep up the good work 👍👍👍
Oh wow! Thanks for sharing!!
@@AbbeyHowe it's true you do. You're really good at your job, great acting skills, cuteness and a really nice voice...
I really love the way you explain the enneagram types. You are one of the few people who really know your stuff. 👌
I appreciate that Priscila!
I just laughed out loud when you said ‘it’s time to sync our google calendars’ 😂😂😂😂 it’s mee
omg! I would have spit my water out with that first shot of the skit for type 5. hilarious!!
Lol, as a 5, having never seen this video, I got the girl I'm dating (an 8 or a 5, she's not sure. I think she's a 5 with 8 tendencies like me ) an orchid plant.
Also, I'm a very romantic 5 and love when I'm able to find someone who I can be my romantic, cheesy self with. Tell me your love languages, and I will make them my mission.
Learn new skills and create! The first 1000 people to use the link will get a free trial of Skillshare Premium Membership: skl.sh/abbeyhowe09201
I'm going to take the self care journaling one!
Julianna Tennefoss yay!! Let me know how you like it!!
@@AbbeyHowe I'm loving it so far!!! So fun!
@@AbbeyHowe I'm also a 3 and when I heard you vouch for it I was like, ok let's do this!
My then boyfriend helped support me when I went back to college and finished my degree. We are now married and he told me much later that he thought that I was going to dump him once I graduated. He should have known better! I'm a 6!
6:16 well, I'm definitely a 6, I'm going to stop doubting it now 😂😂😂
I’m a 5. Your description was very accurate in my opinion.
As a 6, I gave my (now fiancé) 3 separate chances to leave me. After the 3rd time, he was like “I’m not going anywhere.” To which I replied, “Well now if you leave, I’ll be even more wrecked” 😂 thankfully he hasn’t and has no plans to
He’s a 7
This is too funny & spot on 😂😂
I am a 6 and I’m always asking my husband whose a 9, if he still loves me 😂😂 after 10 yrs he’s still puzzled why I always ask lol
You debunking the myth about fives, I can only say Thank. 👏 You. 👏 For the longest time I didn’t think I could be a five because of the stereotype of being cool, unfeeling Spocks, which I’ve never identified with. Being nervous and uncomfortable with strong emotional reactions from others or expressing my own deeper emotions doesn’t mean I don’t have them or wish for close, meaningful relationships. It just means I’m easily overwhelmed and need to take it slow and steady ❤️.
As a 4, YES. When things don’t live up to what I have in my head I start getting the ick and I just don’t feel excited anymore. It didn’t take a lot and I would change my mind about someone so quickly. HOWEVER when I found someone that did check all of the major romance boxes I had, I was SO ready to be swept off of my feet. I “knew” he was the one after two dates and I said “I love you” about a month into the relationship! We have been together for 3 1/2 years and are getting married next October!
I’m a 6 and I can say this is so true! My boyfriend and I broke up not to long ago and he got very annoyed with me because I was always asking for reassurance that I wasn’t annoying or that he still cared or what ever it might Be!
Great video!! This one made my day!As a probable 5, I completely agree with your analysis of type 5 in a relationship. I'm sure the other types are equally accurate. Two thumbs up!!
Glad you enjoyed it!
The 6 🤣🤣🤣🤣 sponge Bob
Over the last decade I, a 9, have become much better at managing my natural tendency of passive-aggressiveness at home with my 5 significant other. He very much just wants me to communicate in a straightforward way so I've learned that beating around the bush with him creates more conflict which of course I don't want! I still want him to figure out what he did or said wrong, but I don't feel like giving him the cold shoulder too much anymore. 😉
I heard you on liron’s podcast! Nice job on 20k
Yep, 9 is totally accurate lol. I'm a 9w1 and so is my girlfriend, and sometimes it's nearly impossible to get each other to open up about emotions. We're both definitely getting better about it though, at least.
the first 20 seconds already proved how accurate this is
😂
5 is very accurate 😂
I am a type 2w3 and my significant other is a type 8 😂!
So true
I've realized ppl don't really know what to put for 5s, and I'm not totally sure myself
Pretty sure my brother is a 4 and he’s always telling me what I should be eating. Like several times he’s given me lists of foods that I should be eating. 😂
IM CACKLING AT THE FOUR!! That’s literally so me… took me an entire year of “OMG idk if this is right or not!!” To finally realize that I was being too hard on my boyfriend 🥲
Everyone in the comments is a 5 is that because 5’s are common or because 5’s are drawn to learning about things.
Six sounds so much like me
Oh my gosh the #9 is 100% me!!!
Wow, no wonder I’m always breaking up with guys. I’m a 4. :’(
I always love your videos!!
I’m a 2 but I relate to 3s so much. I always hide my imperfections and pretend to be cheerful and bubbly all the time around my romantic partners or friends
Nailed 6.
OMG I'm such a 9!!! "Fine!" LOL
omg Abbey I'm laughing so hard watching this
Love the video!❤️
Elizabeth Davidson yay! Glad you like it, Elizabeth. ♥️
Wow, I'm literally the 4, I have a boyfriend now for 3 months and that's exactly what I say XD
heyyy im a 4 too and we have the same name ahahahah
Lmao this a day in the life of dating all my girlfriends personalties
So funny and so true!
The accuracy of a 3 wanting to sync google calendars 😳
You should continue the types in relationships!
It's in the works!
Request: Types as parents or types as children!
Good ideas! I did do one about siblings: ruclips.net/video/hZ3KwiSkyMM/видео.html
I almost spit my drink out. 4 on point 😂😂
I’m an 8. I dated a 2 before.... hahaha yessss so much smothering 😂
Five is quite accurate
I feel like as a self preservation 1 the way 1s are perceived is a bit more on the other two subtypes. For me anyway it's less about what they're doing wrong and more about keeping myself to a high standard of righteousness to deserve the love I receive and getting frustrated with myself if I don't meet those standards and needing reassurance from my partner that what I'm doing is enough.
Also, loved the video (obviously). The 6 girlfriend seems really cute but exhausting. I have a feel for it considering my w6 but I gotta say I try to turn dates into experiences rather than invite others in because as a 7 with a 3 fix, I kinda need the attention to be on me.
Thanks for watching, M! And dates with you sound like a fun time!
@@AbbeyHowe Hey Abbey, I know the comment section is not for problem solving but could you help a gal out here? My boyfriend is a 3 and I may have accidentally offended him by claiming something wasn't that hard to study. How do I make this up to him? I don't want to make him feel less than but I feel lost :/
@@TheKgal89 Shoot, I'm sorry you're going through that. I would say just prioritize communication. Maybe have a sit-down talk where you explain where you were coming from, apologize, and use words of affirmation!
@@AbbeyHowe Thanks. So the dumb thing I said was "No, really? That was not hard to read at all. I found it fine." How do I walk back from this? I don't want to put myself down or dumb myself to lift him up but he is being a bit morose.
Gosh dang it I'm such a 3 😂 gotta synch those Google calendars
Abbey~ can you do a series on the anti-types of each enneagram? for example, the self-preservationist 2?
I'm a 2 and this is true for me!! I just want to make other people happy😊
Oh man I’m type 4 and I feel personally attacked 😭 but you right. You right. 😩
As a 6w5 I feel so called out 😂
Skillshare sounds wonderful! I will try it out.
Hilarious. I am an 8 and this was SPOT ON
4 here! And I'm a serial dater. I want everything and nothing all at once. I understand my tendencies aren't healthy, and I'm at the point where I just want to be alone so I don't continue to hurt people 😬 should I get help? Lol
That was so funny, especially the 8, lol
#2 is TOTALLY my husband and I love him so much but sometimes the over giving drives me nuts and the downside is sometimes I can get used to him doing way to much for me and I literally have to make myself do more for myself so he can do more for himself. Lol
i loved the spongebob inspired titles
8w7 *"even if the thought is wrong"*
As a 6, that was TOO REAL!!!
As a 3 with a strong 4 wing, I relate to both so much. I want to be perfect for my perfect partner (the one that lives in my head).
i feel like i’m a mixture of enneagram 4 and 9...how can i be sure? thank you
I've made several videos about what to do if you're struggling with finding your type! ruclips.net/video/Forb08YD8co/видео.html, ruclips.net/video/CZ3A-gnE7v4/видео.html, ruclips.net/video/5ubZPIsokA8/видео.html
@@AbbeyHowe sorry i’m new tobthe channel, thank you so much😊😊😊
lol as an 8, that rose situation is something I have gone through in the past 😂
Thank you for reading my comments 💙
always!
Would you believe that I have like so many Notifications?
Type 5 is ideal gf -type 7
As a 9, I think the biggest challenge is to get in touch with my own feelings and, most importantly expressing this to the other person. Can a type 9 be in a successful relationship with a type 1?
I'm 5. Everyone keeps telling me that I'm cold and I don't like people. WROOOOOONNNGGG.
Too funny!
This is actually kind of difficult for me to bring up again as a 9, but here goes...
Were you still planning on doing a How to Love a Type 9 video? You said you had it scheduled for the 14th and it’s the 24th now. I’ve really been looking forward to it and I’m a little sad that it seems like it’s been forgotten.
I too was looking forward to it. Still am...
I am so proud of you Yvonne for speaking up and getting your needs met! I had some schedule conflicts that pushed it back HOWEVER I PROMISE it will be released this Monday 9/28!!!! I hope it lives up to your expectations. 😚
Samy, thank you for your anticipation! It will be out September 28th!
@@AbbeyHowe This 9 and his 5 husband are looking forward to it, too! We enjoyed "How to love a 5," and he very much agreed with your take on loving his type. ❤👍
Abbey Howe Thank you for the update!
Pretty crappy for fours... "I want to break up with you."
That was my thought too. Paints a very poor picture of fours and makes it seem like they'll be alone forever...
I know lol but it's true about us....
@@punkseth1 Maybe you...
It’s not true for me. I’m a 4, and INTJ. People always paint us as loners and stone cold people but I’ve been with my boyfriend for a year now and have never thought anything about breaking up with him because he wasn’t what I imagined. Imagination can’t always be reality. Nobody is perfect, and I’m okay with that. I love my bf and wouldn’t try to change him
Omg two is my boyfriends mom for sureeeee hahah
The type 4 was not fair
Could you do types as friends?
Seeing this i think i´m a 9