Let's Talk: Does Age Matter On The Social Dance Floor?
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- Опубликовано: 13 сен 2024
- It's time to talk about age and older generations on our social dance scene. Recently I have heard more and more people talking about younger crowds taking over our dance scene, and the fact that as someone older than the average age of the crowd, it's more difficult to get dances, and that people aren't getting asked anymore. This is especially prevalent in bachata with the rise of sensual bachata, and more intimate movements. I decided to talk about it and share some points that were on my mind!
What is your experience of this? If you're someone older than the average age of a dancer, do you feel that this is the case? And if you're younger, would you have any issues with dancing with people older than you? Let me know in the comments!
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The older the dancer the more time they've had to develop grace, confidence, technique and a variety of moves and that's why they're beautiful and fun dancers. It's a pleasure to learn from them. I'm in my early 20s and I love to dance with all ages, all abilities, and as a follow and a lead. A smile when asking for dances and while dancing goes a long way with me.
I love that, I'm the same 💗
I'm 64 and started Salsa at 55. I noticed right away hardly anyone would dance with me. So I learned moves I can do alone and have no problem dancing with myself!
That's absolutely amazing 👏
Ciao Rasa, 30 years old leader from Italy here. In the Italian scene you can also see the separation between younger and older crowd, but I don't care and dance with everybody. I have to say, usually older women are nicer and really enjoy the dancing while younger ones tend to have more of a snobby attitude. And as you said, many have decades of experience and it really shows on the dancefloor.
@@pachinkothemachine612 well done ! And I completely agree 👍
I mostly agree with 30 year old leader from Italy...and I am 70 year old leader from the U.S. So, I like to dance with all ages, but feel annoyed at the young 20 to 35 year old follows, who reject me when I ask them to dance, because of my age...and the irony is that many times, with my 30+ years of dancing, I have more experience, than they have been alive on the planet!
Hi I started going to salsa classes in my early fifties with no previous dancing experience around 2019. I didn’t have the courage to goto social until after Covid. My personal experience is that salsa scene is more age inclusive. I moved to UK early this year and found it really hard at socials. It was sensual bachata heavy, my bachata skill was more at a basic level and the dance scene was dominated with young people. It really got me down for a while. In the end, I decided if I can’t beat them, I’ll join them. I started bachata lessons twice a week and got to know some students. Body isolations and bending are easier for young agile bodies of course but they are not impossible for us. I still don’t get as many dance as i would like but it has improved massively.
Don’t give up, keep doing lessons and keep going to socials.
Very inspirational 👏 thank you for sharing 🙏
It’s important to dance with everyone especially beginners who are our future whether old or young it’s a great community to be in and you are a great advocate of dancing with those who may not have had a dance yet ❤
@@evertondod absolutely 💯
I actually love dancing with older women. They were the ones who welcomed me when i started out m. So now i forward the favour by dancing with any older follows i meet at a social.
They’re also usually really good at following with the lightest of guidance.
@mma93067 absolutely, very good attitude 👌
Just Beautiful :D
@thediamondpropertyservices5265 thank you 😊
Thank you for flying the flag for older dancers. I started salsa in my late forties and still love it now. I agree that you become ‘invisible’ in life as you get older but I don’t let that happen on the dance floor!. I have studied hard to hone my skill and enjoy the look on the leaders faces when they are pleasantly surprised by this oldie. I’m not so experienced in bachata but ensure that what I do know - I do to the best of my ability. Yes I get overlooked for the younger (bachata) followers but I don’t let that hold me back.
Perfect !
You are strong and so inspirational ❤️
The only problem I have dancing with older men in my bachata community is that they’re the ones that are more often looking for company than the younger men. They are the ones from who I get the bedroom eyes, the face touching, the requests, but also harsh and sometimes inappropriate leading. They stopped going to dance classes a long time ago already. I just feel icky dancing with them. Luckily there are ones that are, like you said, great as well! But in my experience many are like described above.. and as a 20+ woman it’s even worse when I occasionally get the comment ”are you even 18?” followed by this obviously sexual demeanour.
Hello, how old are the guys you have bad experiences with ?
You may feel better as you dance more and gain more experience. How long have you been dancing? Dance with who you want to, of course. Also ask the men who you actually like dancing with and be more proactive.
I understand what you mean, I have experienced that too, but they are, thankfully, not the majority 😉.
I think she's just talking about experiences that happen to all women on the dance scene 😉.
What I like with older women is that they have more life experience and confidence than younger women. They are more present in the dance and they dare to add more of a flair of themselves to the dance.
@@alfacentauri3686 love that 💓
I feel quite lucky in the North East .. I ask leaders all the time and very rarely does anyone say no!
Of course I notice that the young girls are asked more often but I accept that .. I was young too once 😂 .. it was fun being asked more, but now tbh I like to choose who I ask 😊 If someone does ask me I never turn them down, but I'm happy to ask most of the time.
I like it when a guy I don't know starts to dance with me, and I can see his face thinking at first it might be boring, but coming to the realization that I can dance, I can move and follow well .. and have fun on the dance floor! 😊 I think it gives me confidence to ask more people I don't know so well! It's a great topic .. everyone will age at some point .. but you don't have to get old! 😊
You are so strong 💪 absolutely fantastic 👏
@@DanceWithRasa thank you! 😎🙏🏽🙏🏽
@@lynnephillips5689 😉
I'm a man that's just retired and hasn't danced since 2020. I went back for classes a few months back, to my old dance teacher. The fact the teacher welcomed me back and introduced me by name softened the blow but it took weeks for the students to accept me. I felt that they viewed me with suspicion because I'm much older than them. I understood that and just went back every week. I'm fit and athletic and young at heart. I also have 10 years of experience. The older women started dancing with me and enjoyed it. After months i started dancing with the young girls and they actually told me that it was very nice to dance with me. I think if they see, and experience, that you are only there to enjoy the dancing and that you can actually dance, then they start to accept you. It was quite a journey for me though. Thanks for this video.
That's an amazing story, that's exactly why I made this video ❤️
Fab topic Rasa … when I was a younger dancer … I really liked the guys who danced with older women … I held them in high regard for looking for a great dance … rather than trying to ‘meet’ women … I also loved their respect for all …
Now I’m an older woman who has danced for decades … and never struggle for a dance with any age … but I think it’s more about the energy you project and nothing to do with age … if you’re warm and kind and a decent dancer … there’s no issue … leaders also like to try out new moves with you because you will help them to get it right and they don’t feel silly … because you have that lovely maturity and acceptance … own your age !! 😂
Absolutely 😉
There's a lot of truth to that, too 😇.
Very interesting topic, thanks Rasa for raising it. I'm 63 and it's not just dancing, the older you get, the more invisible you become in life in general I find. There's a more older generation in modern jive compared to salsa in my experience which is one of the reasons I moved to Salsa .... I prefer to be around younger ... but the problems you highlight are making me feel like moving back to MJ and be with the oldies again 🤔
@@juliahutchinson4542 definitely not, don't move, youngsters have to adapt 💓
Good video. You are being a good human, good citizen of the dancing community. 👏
Thank you, I do try 😇
Bravo Rasa and well said! This is why more and more of us "older" ladies who came on the dancing scene at the start when we were indeed young and nimble fee
Ll soooo disillusioned and left out on the sideliness now, when we know how to dance well but are never asked when we eventually go out! I have gradually over the years stoped going out as what's the point of going to the expense when you end up sitting for most of the night and only dance when some accepts you asking. It would be good to see if there is a change in behaviour on the dancefloor....
@@budgiebird1 that's why we need to talk about it to make sure we see the change 💓
Love the topics. Please can make podcast and invite the best dancers to know their dancing experience
I dance with anyone regardless of the age and as a follower, I have learnt not afraid to ask the leaders for a dance. Only people I don’t want to dance with are the creepy ones, the ones they are not there for pure joy for dancing…that is again, regardless of the age.. And I agree, some older salsero/a are dancing so many years so that they are generally very good dancers and they dance with anyone even if you are advanced/beginner and pleasure to dance with. Whereas, some younger dancers only tend to dance with you if you are a ‘good’ dancer.. well this may be different topic though..😅
@@mt2599 exactly right ✅️
Thank you for raising the issue! It’s definitely a problem for older salseras/bachateras.
@@anjamcbrien1033 absolutely 💯
Thanks for this Rasa. I'm sorry to hear that ageism seems to be creeping onto the salsa dance floor. The young ones don't know what they're missing out on! I didn't start dancing salsa until I was 40, a good while ago now and I was delighted to find that no one seemed to care how old you were. Yes, don't wait to be asked and everyone should follow the rule of never refusing a first dance with anyone. If you are enjoying the dance show it! You'll be asked again. So many of my dance partners say they wanted to dance with me because I look like I'm enjoying myself. It also helps if you attend a class at the event. I look like I wouldn't necessarily be a reasonable dancer but they find out otherwise in the class!
Fully agree.
Very good points 👉
Thank you Rasa for dancing with this older fan at Bachaturo ☺
You so sweet 😇😇😇always my pleasure 🙏
As always, your words of wisdom are refreshing and enlightening. Thank you, Rasa❤
@@solitarygal341 💓💓💓
Thanks Rasa. I love your outlook and advice.
Thank you for watching my videos 😇
A very good and current topic to discuss! I often just go to lessons now and not the social due to the this very subject. It is so disheartening when you are overlooked. It is a shame as I just love to dance to latin music. I appreciate leaders have a choice of whom they dance with but we are only asking for 3 minutes of the leader's time. It's not a lot to ask for really and who knows the leader could have a lovely dance with us aging ladies. Sure as you age you may not be as energetic but perhaps more elegant and a little more graceful on the dance floor. Thank you Rasa for approaching this subject with such sensitivity xx. P.S. love your videos! x
Thank you for your comment 🙏 and I completely agree with you 👍
Totally agree ,but one point is a lot of the ladies don't ask the guys ton dance. Also as an older lead I tend to pass on the younger girls too
Fair enough 😉
As a lead I try to dance with everyone, though when dancing with older followers I tend not to do sensual moves or moves that require greater flexibility. Mainly since I'm worried about potentially hurting them.
@DrKaill I think that's great, you adapt to the people you dance with but you still dance with everyone 😉
I started dancing at 18/19 in a dance place were a lot of the people were 40+. i could not imagine not dancing with everyone i have had fabulous dancers with people who are older and i have been told it brought them joy to dance with me but i felt the same way with them :)
I have absolutely the same experience 😉.
'Don't mistake popularity for ability'
Absolutely 💯
Great video, Rasa, very important topic. I think the "Dance with me" stickers from the Newcastle Congress should be used more widely and encouraged. It can help give people courage to ask others to dance if there is that signal that they won't say no. I've heard of other places that use wrist-bands for the same purpose, but also with colour-codes for leader/follower/both.
I can assure you that when you get to 50, you’ll still have people queuing to dance with you. But that’s not going to be an issue for, what, another 20 years at least? So no need to worry about it now!
Oh I don't worry , I just want to remind people the importance of being inclusive 😉. Stickers is definitely great 👌
Said this before, think a lot of the older girls smoke the young ones-especially on Salsa up in the North East and North West at Salsa in Cumbria and Yarm, you all know who you are! 😎.
I try and dance with as many followers as possible, trying to build stamina right now. Sure everyone may have subconscious biases but if you're not aware then you deprive yourselves of the good fun you could be having. Another good video, love ❤😊 x
Absolutely 💯
Hi Rasa, I am now 66 years old. I have been a Modern Jive Dancer for over 20 years where I dance with older dancers and younger alike. I started trying to learn Batcha in about 2018 in London. I am a very slow learner and have found it a very difficult dance to learn but since I have moved away from London for my work to Leeds I have attended some batcha dance classes but I do not get many dances. I try to ask the women for a dance but seem to get rejected a lot of the time. I have become very disheartened with and have now stopped going as I cant keep facing rejection. It is a shame as I absolutist love the Latin music and style of dancing.
I'm so sorry for your experience. That's exactly what I'm talking about. But I hope you come back 💗
@@DanceWithRasa Thanks Rasa! 💗
@@dynamic-davereflex-videos4411 😉
Brilliant Rasa 👏
@@agatamikolajova8721 thank you 😊
Some of this is a bit too idealistic. As a man, it is up to me to impress and more importantly make a woman feel comfortable and interested when I am dancing with her. My bachata level is quite a bit lower than my salsa so my options are less. To age gracefully on the dance floor I think you should understand where you are and make connections with dancers. Concerning age, so much of it is in the mind. I see older dancers with energy and vibes that seem much younger.
Thank you for your insightful comment 👍
As an almost 70 year old leader who started dancing at 58, I can tell you for sure that I get turned down much more now than 10 years ago even though I'm a much better dancer.
Re sensual bachata - I truly do not feel comfortable doing it with someone young enough to be my granddaughter.
Some communities are more age-mixed than others. Some are very "age-centric" and unless they know the older person, they're not very welcoming. In others, it usually does not matter.
Thanks for the discussion. Interesting.
If I may suggest - a microphone would improve your audio. At 70, my hearing isn't great and the sound has a lot of echo. Inexpensive mike..... ;)
I did use a microphone , just in the edit. Maybe I need to do a better job. Thank you for your feedback 😊
Good video❤
@@juratepetrikauskiene9908 💓💓💓
Sex is a big part of dancing.'The vertical expression of horizontal desire.' For teens and twenties, it's a mating ritual The problem is that desire, and the need to be desired, persist into middle age and beyond.As we become less and less attractive as a prospective mate. It's nature's way of saying 'leave the young 'uns to it.'The clothes and moves that work for twenty-somethings work less and less well as the years roll by. But there's plenty out there for mature dancers. AT for the confident. Ball-room.Sequence. MJ for all and sundry.There's still the joy of music. Conviviality. Gentle exercise. The simple pleasure of knowing that you don't have to dress or dance to impress. Like-minded folk in your own age-group will be happy to share these pleasures with you.
As a female salsa follower, I genuinely don’t care about the looks or age - few of my favourite leads are well in their 50s and not in the most sellable condition 😂 However, I do observe the crowd at the socials and noticed too many times how some 60+ leads NEVER ask older women to dance and exclusively going after younger girls. I’m terrible at saying no to a dance but I’m avoiding those men at all cost. On the other hand, if older women are active and look like they’re ready to dance (not just sitting around far away from the dance floor) they get asked to dance a lot and usually by younger guys. These observations are from London salsa scene which I understand can be different from other places. So I think there’s also a different side to the problem :) no comments about sensual bachata though - I’m too prude for it despite still being “age appropriate” 😅
Very good feedback 👍
I'm a young male leader, i made my better to make the social dance scene in my area as inclusive as possible. You spit some truth, but i want to point out some hypocrisis from the older ladies, they are the firsts that don't attend events where the older men are, because they prefer the younger and more advenced leader that dance sensual bachata.
One more point, I speak for the local dance scene, the main factor is not the appearance but the level of dancing. Many older women don't study dance, they just go out and dance with such poor technique. So they can't expect, that some male dancers who invest many hours and money in lessons, workshops and congres. Will enjoy dancing with them
Interesting perspective , definitely valid. However, your point is not really relatable to older ladies, I think it goes to all ladies 😉.
Not sure if last comment went through as was in train,
Short version from the other side.of the why?
1) it looks comical, guys see this and avoid this.
2) they just not as attractive in a market where attractive dominates
3) the above do not apply to me but this one does, thier attitude.
Alot of times it's Karma, when.they were .younger they were not so nice to many men. The younger one should learn what's happening to the older crowd otherwise it will be them.
My opinion alone can't change or impact anything but the results supports this so many men evidently feel the same, I can't speak of older.men issues as have not encountered this in Kiz or Kizomba ❤
Hi Rasa, your always going to be young and beautiful to me.
You are so sweet, thank you 😊
"Everybody should be bending over everybody" 🤣🤣🤣One time at a bachata festival, I walked in to the main room and observed an older woman (best guess 60+) asking men to dance. Not a single one accepted her offer. I wanted to give her a "pity" dance, not purely for pity but I wanted her to feel accepted. I didn't have the guts and I regret it to this day. However I do feel this segregation is natural. The dance floor is naturally "stratified"; good dancers over here, beginners over there, drinkers here, old people there, snobs over here, etc. Seems to me, the real tension is between organizing a profitable promotion vs one that is all-inclusive. I suspect that "all inclusive" socials run thin margins or no profit. If I prioritize profit, I want the young, hot, drinking crowd 🤷
So true, and things will always be that way, but we need to keep trying to make people more inclusive 😇
Hi Lovely Rasa, what age are older dancers ? Please give numbers 🤣 … 58+ is older, old or whatever? Let me share my 15 years experience as a Salsa female follower (and still learning): in my 40’s male dancers 25 to 45 years would invite me (and I personaly would invite them too). But now in my 50’s I definitely invite dancers from all ages, otherwise most of the time sadly I almost receive zero invitation! « Maybe it has something to do with seduction … » I am not available (and wasn’t before) … I fully understand that guys and girls may have affective goals too 😆 (I remember my 20+ 😜). Feedbacks I receive now from young leaders 25+ are: connection is nice, dance is relaxed and joyful, and they appreciate my benevolent mind … I stopped dancing sensual bachata (less flexible 👻 and unconfotable with the sensual/sex connection 😲). I am now dancing moderna bachata (my female friends too) with few 45+ leaders. About kizomba … tough topic! I am dancing with « traditional kizomba » leaders: the connection is rather safe and I prefer portuguese speaking songs musicality. Sometimes I can dance some Urban Kiz with respectful dancers (see what I mean 🧐).
Hey girls and boys, don’t hesitate to invite the silver dancers. 🤩 Please take in consideration I’m not judging anyone! Thanks Rasa for one additional so interesting topic. 😘
Thank you do much gor your comment, you are awesome 👌