I found out I was INFJ today and have been surfing vids on youtube ever since. My heart is bursting with joy.I've seen more authentic people in the last two hours than I have in my previous forty seven years on earth.Finally there's a name for who I am. Thank you for your videos. Peace
I am in INF J, I am visually impaired/Legally blind, and it's so strange to hear a similar tone of voice and someone else. I can almost hear the mixture of hesitation and deep compassion and interest for the things you're talking about in this video. I thank you so much for your effort, consideration, time and courage. Take care.
I think MBTI is like Porn for us INFJ's ; ). Seriously though, I think at times it can also be what spins us into an Ni/Ti loop of trying to think through the perfect system for seeing and understanding others and ourselves. It puts language to what we already observe.
Doug Roberts ...and having a language makes it easier to organize our thoughts and thus further define our knowledge base, and remember it easier. Its like hearing a symphony of of our thoughts. Our thoughts have notes now. It all makes sense.
Omg yes when I was 5 I remember thinking I was an adult stuck in a child's body - I didn't have any frame of reference for what being a child was meant to feel like and couldn't relate well to my peers at all. I was confident talking to adults but not to those my own age.
I relate a lot to this. I remember that when I discovered my type, so much that I thought was just me being different was shared with other people with the same type. It's a rare type, so many people misunderstand. So, instead of framing my personality as 'I'm weird', it feels much better to say 'I'm normal but rare.'
Thank you, Emerald! I think that is a great perspective to take. "I'm weird" barricades us from other people..it's more "me vs. the world". "I'm normal but rare" still highlights our individuality, but it still gives us a feeling of belonging. Interesting concept to think about.
I feel the exact same way. I was really confused as a child of my personality and I just recently (like last week recently) discovered my type so now it's just like 'oh okay, so I'm not a freak. I am the way I am because it's my personality type.'
+solohouette Can an mbti obsession be unhealthy for infj's? I have developed a huge interest in this in the past couple of days and I'm not sure if it's doing good or harm. As an infj I have always sought after purpose and am driven by that desire to find meaning behind who I am. Since I have always felt like an outsider, it's kind of weird to think that a personality profile can define who I am. I've always felt like my personality is undefinable. I'm not sure what I'm trying to get at, but hopefully you can relate and share your thoughts! I'd appreciate it. Great video btw :)
Normal but rare. hmmmm. I think that in today's world that is a rare and profound (INFJ) observation. I would imagine that you have certain outputs and results that skew this perception. perhaps we INFJ'S are normal most of the time and rare (per results and impact) during certain moments.
I was SHOCKED when I discovered that I was normal for my type. Suddenly all of these things that I was told that I needed to "fix" turned out to be totally normal for my personality. It was very liberating.
When you struggle your entire life with the feeling of being different and feeling like a outsider. It is AWESOME to learn why that is, and that there are others. I feel special, instead of feeling like I'm less than others. And we are always learning, and trying to better ourselves, so these vids help us grow.
Hi ~ I want to say that I was nodding all the time while watching your video :) I am an INFJ, who, just like you, never really convey my ideas, opinions, or even dreams with my family, at least not genuinely. Sometimes my family would tell me to change my personlity and open up more, tell them more about what my true thoughts are, but I would find myself losing my temper whenever I try to tell them how I think or feel about something and why I feel that way. Not sure if other INFJ have similar experience like this, but It's much more natural and comfortable for me to express myself through writing or doing something artistic. Anyway, nice video!!
I think for us as a group we find the words to express ourselves when we have the time to mull it over. Words mean things and we can be exact in our expressions or conveyance of an idea. I find my command of language is bigger when writing and the fact we read a lot there are so many more words at available than in our common speech.
I loved this video so much! I knew MBTI in last november and it was like if I was freed from a burden that had upon me for a long time (precisely, since I can remember...). Now I feel like I'm relieved. MBTI helped me to become more self-confident and to not care of what other people think about me. Moreover, I am not obliged anymore to do things that I don't want to do just to please others and avoid conflict. I'm still a courteous, gentile and sympathetic man, but I perceived that I am not worse than anyone in this planet, then I can stand up for my desires and dreams. In resume, after knowing MBTI, I realized that I am a likable person and that I deserve love for being who I am.
@ 14:00 ish, I like that you pointed this out. I let my close friends know, the ones I'm comfortable sharing my MBTI nerdyness with, that MBTI should be looked at as a spectrum where no two people of the same type will be exactly the same in behavior/personality. I also let them know that the functions behind the four letters are infinitely more important than the four letters themselves.
The INFJ label is also a convenient and concise term to sum up our complexity. You could call it a crux for us. Those instances which cause is frustration, we can now think “that’s due to being an INFJ “. It stops us from getting so stressed due to knowledge of self and others in relation to us.
I would like to tell you a HUGE THANK YOU for what you said in the video. My childhood and adolescence were not easy at all. I wanted to have friends but they always misunderstood me. My teachers were the ones who inspired me a lot. 16 years later, I am now a teacher and I know that I shape my students' characters. Unfortunately... I cannot save every little human being :( It is very complicated to juggle between your own self and being a social chameleon. "Be the change you want to see in the world." I am sure you must relate :) Thank you again. From an INTJ (girl stucked in woman's body)
God bless you you are beautiful this was so relatable. I love the chart you made, that is so true. Also lithiumenergy's quote is amazing. I find myself dropping hints all the time.
Man, that low risk/high risk chart is so true, and also what you said about the amount of energy it requires. Doing small talk is so exhausting to me. But when I talk to someone and the conversation gets really deep, if we talk about crazy theories for example; it's almost like I get energy from those conversations even though I'm an introvert, and I feel like I don't want the conversation to end.
Damn you are fantastic! Hope to find someone or rather even MORE people like you in real life soon. Really need that intelligence and depth in my friendship and overall relationships.
For me an adult male at 52 I found out I am INFJ this year. The amount of clarity offered in understanding this is huge. Nevertheless I know God made me this way just as he made everyone else. The beauty I found in Christ is even more amazing as I continue to to walk the narrow path grounded in the truth. He is the true Love in a loveless world and peace beyond understanding. In my early walk I found much wisdom in Proverbs as the foundation for life in dealing with others yet I am still amazed how so many do not understand selfless kindness by their reactions Anyway I will continue because I can and God wants me too, yet not to the extent of abuse or outside of my moral bounds. Would be a wonderful world if all treated others as they desire to be treated. Life is a journey back to God may you all find your way to Him.
All true! Number 3 is because the MBTI gives us a framework to understand ourselves and others, thereby, providing the data needed to improve ourselves. Let’s face it if we weren’t struggling in our relationships, we wouldn’t be on MBTI sites looking for answers. For me it is not getting butt-hurt every time my ideas or personality are misunderstood and/or rejected. We are old souls and as small children we all have probably heard adults say that we talk like little adults. I think it’s because we desire deeper communication at all times through our lives. As children deeper and more meaningful communications were readily available because we just looked towards adults. As adults, deeper communication is not as easily obtained. Yes most of the SJs and SPs will be unwilling and/or unable to get into deeper and more meaningful discussions.
With Lithiums final comment about romanticizing speech, We INFJ speak in metaphors, symbols, abstract etc so to sensors we come off as being cryptic because they don't pick up on our connections relayed via speech. This attributes to us always feeling misunderstood because others don't understand us from the same perception.
I like the fact that you brought up the haircut as an example. I don't like getting a haircut, but not necessarily because I don't want my hair to be shorter, but because I know that I *have to* do this small talk. If I would be honest and wouldn't care about others' feelings, I would probably tell the barber something like "Sorry, but I don't want to talk, just cut off this damn hair of mine and be done with it."
A1den PlayinAr0und I completely understand and agree with this sentiment... To the point that I never talked to the person cutting my hair. It probably looked rude. Only recently, after finding a barber who does a great job, and who I have visited about 8 times in the last year, have I started to talk at all.
I personally enjoy that you speak about whatever is on your mind. I relate to a lot of what you discuss as an INTJ. You have given me so much inspiration to keep developing myself and not to give up! I feel very connected with you despite never having met.
OMG so relatable to me, especially when i need to talk to a hairstylist, but now i'm kinda okay with that because i go to the same hairstylist recently.
When I was younger, before I learned about personality typing, I became a hairstylist, to "work on" my social skills: I wanted to become someone else. Worst 10 years of my life LOL small talk all day, every day, made me suicidal...
Wow! I relate to all these reasons for liking MBTI alot! Honestly there is so much in our minds that goes on that most other people wouldn't have any idea about. I don't know about others but I often get taken as a person who is not only quiet but also as a guy who could get fooled easily by their facades; and when I do even tell anybody that I know of somebody's intentions (to protect myself or somebody else), they look at me like how could this guy who is so quiet (so definitely also dumb) have such an insight. I often feel very apart from others and misunderstood, so it was a very good feeling to know that there were others out there who shared similar experiences and feelings as mine...
Very articulate, thanks for sharing. I found for me that also learning about the ennegram. There's a lot of free online assessments that rank order possible ennegram types that might apply to you, offering a starting place for reading about specific types. I initially mistyped myself, so take care. It's not for everyone as it conveys how we learned to cope and it's negative implications. But it also conveys the way out of our unconscious conditioning.
I agree it is often used in very limiting and abused ways. It's been almost a year since I participated in a forum. After enough time, I needed to let go of the tool and reconnect in ways that are intuitive and not prescribed. I found my brain held on too tightly to the impressions that come from study. I have enjoyed the break. 😊
As the others I totally agree with what you've said. Only one difference : as was in a very bad mental condition when I learnt about mbti functions n stuff, and i learnt it, at first, to protect myself from the harm people could do to me. It became an obsession and i forced myself to stop for several months. Now I'm into mbti to better learn about people, and because it's quite fascinating. Btw I love your videos! Can't wait for the next ones ;)
When it comes to conversation, facts have a wonderfully magnetic riptide effect which can greatly assist transition from small talk to deep insights. :-)
Liked this video. I am relatively new to this, understanding of being an INFJ. MBTI results were astonishing for me as to how accurate they were in describing me. I very rarely comment in any of the videos I watch, but this one has compelled me to comment, as you have provided a very profound understanding of INFJs. I am now getting to understand the adaptability part of my personality, as I used to think I was more of a pushover (used to get upset about it that I wont ever be able to show the rich opinion I have based on my knowledge) , even though I used to have good knowledge and insight about a topic , especially in front of a group of more than 5-6 people. Now I understand why do I get easily influenced by others opinion externally even though I would remain in conflict inside and eventually be misunderstood. This test and this video has helped me . I would ask you to keep on making such nicely introspected , read and thoughtful videos on INFJs and their compatibility with other 15 personalities.
This is a phenomenal video. One of the best INFJ videos I've seen. I feel like I can share this video to some family members who just don't get me. I ultimately know that the MBTI test should be taken with a grain of salt. At the end of the day, everything should be evaluated on a spectrum. It still doesn't change the reality of how my brain works. Thanks for this video!
Great video. Even as an INTJ I can relate to all 3 reasons completely. The feeling of pre-mbti alienation & the desire to understand ourself and others ultimately is driven by the Ni thirst for knowledge and the abstract ways in which it goes about doing so.
This is easily one of my favourite videos on myers briggs ^^ What you said rings true to me since I had similar if only exactly same reasons as the ones you gave, it feels good as a confirmation of my thoughts. And what you said in the end gave me a really good reminder of the ways to use mbti, so thank you! :D INFJs are a mystery to most people, and even to those who know me well, I may still seem mysterious. But I just want to say how much of a mystery, that even I feel about myself. Because only after discovering mbti, have I known that I didn't really know myself as much I thought I did, and the reason was that most of my attention was placed on others (which I have no idea, at all, of.) made me lose sight of what I actually want. (This all similar to one reason you've said)
Wow, thank you for the sweet compliment! And yes..I think the worst advice anyone could give an INFJ is "Just be yourself". Most people will never understand how difficult it is for us to define ourselves on our own terms
I purposefully avoid going to the same hair dresser more than a few times because I don't want to have to build a relationship with them. Making small talk with a stylist for 4-5 hrs while they do my hair is something I can handle, but since I have sort of a minimal "set" of Me-Hairstylist conversation topics, they can only stretch through a few appointments before I run out of material. Also, I tend to (accidentally?) coerce my hair stylists into having deeper conversations with me, so they usually DO remember me if I come back in... and then there is this weird continuity to the relationship that I'm uncomfortable with... become defense about talking to them about my life... etc.. I want a hair stylist who is mute. I'll read my book... you focus on styling my hair... OR I would also accept a step-by-step instructional lesson on how to style my hair... but please don't tell me a passing tidbit about your horrible marital problems if you don't want me to engage you conversation about it for the rest of the appointment. As usual content is great. Thanks!
Hi Solohouette, I like your chart with the different levels of communication. It describes my path-finding in the world of communication during my life journey! When doing military service, communication was mostly small talk and humor. At University (Tech), communication was full of ideas and opinions. Those days, I interacted with many NTs but I guess I didn't appreciate the dept of Ni and the creative thoughts of Ne fully yet. During marriage and work, I became more comfortable with the communication of Feeling types. And today I really like the mind-bending ideas and perspectives of the INFJs and the deep insights of the INTJs. Greetings from an adaptive Se-nsing fan. :)
I took the Briggs test in college. I didn't think much of it until recently that I've been seeing videos of it....before I just thought I needed meds now I guess we just have some kind of "gift" that not many people have.....
Excellent video. I've re-framed my thinking from "I am an INFJ", to "I am a unique person with an INFJ personality." I loved that concept of the different levels/layers of communication. I use small talk and humour most of the time, since either I don't want to 'go deep' with a particular person, or I intuit (correctly or falsely) that they won't understand what I'm saying or where I'm coming from, or that they won't be interested, or that it may lead to conflict or misunderstanding. Thus using Ni and Ti I gage what they're interested in, assisting this process by reading their body language with Se, and then communicating via Fe. Yet such small talk/humour/facts is generally more abstract bent - especially humour. Thus I find even in the 'low risk' communication categories traces of my 'deeper side' shine thru - enough so that one might pick up, like your relative, that I'm not wholly superficial. If someone can't do the abstract small talk 'dance' (on random things, satire, etc) it's twice as wearying, and quickly turns to awkward silences if they don't meet me 50% of the way! Although such 'agony' is a necessary act of loving others as a social creature within a society. Hence seeking to love others through whatever means of communication, as opposed to trying to 'get into deeper levels' I've tried to make my focus these days. It's a selfless and freeing thing, and I'm happy to 'go deep' when the opportunity arises, but I've got myself and the Good Lord anyway! (Soz, sooo long). A thought provoking video!
"If someone can't do the abstract small talk 'dance' (on random things, satire, etc) it's twice as wearying, and quickly turns to awkward silences if they don't meet me 50% of the way!" Yes! It's beyond exhausting to be the one putting in more effort to keep the conversation alive. I don't seem to have that problem with many extroverts, though. Thank you for the thoughtful comment - glad you could relate!
I just discovered I am an infj I'm still shocked. But the tests don't lie. I have a close female friend infj she thinks im an extrovert lol. But I know me
Yeah, people think I'm an extrovert too. I'm an INFJ and so is my dad and my two brothers. My mom and sister are INFPs. None of us are extroverts, but people often think that my parents and I are extroverts---though my siblings dont socialize with people outside the inner-circle.
The MBTI didn't mean too much to me right out of high school. I mistyped back then for ISTP, which happened for several reasons. 18 yrs later, my newest results helped me connect with others. The people online aside, I had already known 2 INFJ's from the meditation center I go to. 1's an empath like me, & we have a lot in common. A week after getting my results, I asked her if she was an INFJ, and she said yes. Our other friend, a massage therapist, is also an INFJ. I've always felt a natural connection with them. During that same time period, I started dating someone and we had an immediate easygoing connection. She's an INTJ, and knowing this helps me understand our interactions, especially in regards to us using Ni.
Great advice. I (INTJ) see so many people acting out their stereotypical MBTI type . MBTI is quite accurate,but there are so many variables that a single description can not encompass a person. For instance the INTJ stereotype doesn't consider the rare INTJ born into a mesomorph body type. I still have the innate social anxieties,but I didn't spend my teenage years playing Dungeons and Dragons,or watching Star Trek. I hear so many young INTJ's claim that they don't care what others think of them and I call bullshit on that. That is part of the defense mechanism of being misunderstood and avoiding vulnerability. INTJ's are so secretive of their personal lives (other than those select few close enough to share their inner self), that it is impossible to really classify them as accurately as those types that show their true self outwardly. Also, I personally fall somewhere in between an INTJ (predominate) and INTP with MBTI and only Socionics "The Critic" describes me accurately.
Any personality type can be insecure. But I used to be one of them "I don't give a shit about what other people think" but actually did for the longest, though I don't give two damns about D&D or Star Trek either, and I'm INFJ.
I understand all to well that chart of communication! I will go as far as to research small talk type stuff just to have some ammunition in guess of silence. I visit the infj subreddit often and it's kind of therapeutic for to read the posts' and comments.
I collect "ammunition" as well. It depends on the person though. If I've made plans with someone who has proven to be a low-level communicator I'll usually invite other people to keep the small talk going while I recharge though observation.
You know what's weird? I'm hugely into synchronicities and the word ALIEN has been making huge rounds in my life and you said it at 4:01. But I was watching an interview of Jung and they asked how he got interesting in being an ALIENIST. I thought maybe it was his weird accent and he was saying 'analyst'. Nope, it's an old term for psychologist. But here's something weird. I'd been wanting to quit my job for a while at work and finally, unexpectedly did so. My employee number was 4239. A few mths later, which was about 2 days ago, I was watching Z Nation episode, RoZwell, and the marksman on there was keeping count of his Zombie kills and he took out his 4239th Zombie, matching my employee number. He did this in Roswell, the most famous alien place there is.
There could be plenty of reasons, but the main is probably the fact that MBTI offers an explanation why we've felt so weird all our lives, and we previously couldn't put a finger on it to save our life..
I have a descent amount of close friends but I did not realize that only a few know the deep me. some reason my deep side is only shown to a few. I guess on a subconscious level I have hidden that side of me. Not all infjs are the same. We may have a similar psychological makeup but our colors are different.
Hmm, a lot of types, SPs, SJs, etc like to share their unsolicited political opinions. When I systematically begin to dissasemble their argument, they get quite upset. I do notice how Ni deficient people make bold statements about "big picture" social issues like homelessness or gridlock traffic, without bothering to engage in some rudimentary root cause analysis...the Ni dom's forte... I have even gotten into it with sensing types who believe we can fend off an alien invssion a la Avengers Superhereos. When I enumerate all of the vastly superior technologies they would posess and the numerous ways they could kill us off, they get quite upset. We Ni doms understand our sensing deficiency since it is shoved in our faces everyday. However, sensing types rarely encounter an Ni dom who can call them on their BS.
Hi I really like how you explain things you do a great job. Have you typed your mom and dad an the rest of your family; also does your understanding about the different aspect of each type how has knowing this stuff effect you all relationships?
the part at (:46 where the INFJ who has written that text says "the other persons *deserves* to know about deeper parts...blabla"...is soo typically INFJ. Like they're the ultimate judge...I mean..just be honest. As an INTP i do not get why wants to play such a fake superficial persona, unless the other person has 'proven to them' to be 'worth'their inner feelings. It has this kinda stuck up thing where they are the ones who judge whether one is ' worthy of their inner feelings', while the other person is already being honest with you (or not) ..It feels like a princes who says the knight can get a kiss if he kills her dragon or something..like a princessy type of thing
If I had a dollar for every time an extrovert or proud parent openly shared one of my creations (which was sent to them privately and/or intended for a specific audience)... I'd be a much rich man. :D Well done.
so how do INFJs take care of our selves? and not mold or make life decisions for others? in short HOW do we become more selfish?? I need this skill and I lack it.
I think the first step is to recognize when you're being influenced by other people. Then try to decide who that decision will benefit more in the long-run: you or the person that's influencing you. It will be more uncomfortable for you to "rip off the baindaid" by saying "no" right away, but it's better than teaching people that you have no boundaries.
I swear, I've been told to be more selfish, but I can't.. I guess it's not in our nature to be selfish.. But the world is so selfish, and we get drained from how much is taken from us..I guess it's important to learn the importance of boundaries and also embrace the dark side of our nature, to bring balance to our inner core.. We can't be too good and we can't be too bad..
Actually I hate it. The language is very problematic I think because we talk about things that we can’t actually see. I think this is a recurring pattern with stuff people like to think about. Basically 50% of all philosophy is talking about stuff that doesn’t exist and even modern linguistics (my field of study) talks about a lot of things that I believe don’t exist. The thing with the functions and stuff makes a lot of sense and it feels like it’s so true, but in the end it’s just a story. It might be very possible that a lot of the patterns that MBTI assumes are real and exist in the real world, but as long as we don’t have an actual methodology to measure the functions it is scientifically worthless. I think MBTI is a very compelling story, it gives you patterns that you can look for in your own personality you can work with, but I don’t think it tells you who you really are. And if you search for a pattern, you are going to find it wether it’s been there before or not. I would encourage everyone who enjoys MBTI to move beyond it.
![I.N "HALLUCINATION" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/n5B5q1Hwt_U/mqdefault.jpg)
I found out I was INFJ today and have been surfing vids on youtube ever since. My heart is bursting with joy.I've seen more authentic people in the last two hours than I have in my previous forty seven years on earth.Finally there's a name for who I am. Thank you for your videos. Peace
LOOVE!! Same here just a few days ago. I'd be curious about how your last 2 years going. God bless you!
I am in INF J, I am visually impaired/Legally blind, and it's so strange to hear a similar tone of voice and someone else. I can almost hear the mixture of hesitation and deep compassion and interest for the things you're talking about in this video. I thank you so much for your effort, consideration, time and courage. Take care.
From one INFJ to another- you are VERY attractive!
I think MBTI is like Porn for us INFJ's ; ). Seriously though, I think at times it can also be what spins us into an Ni/Ti loop of trying to think through the perfect system for seeing and understanding others and ourselves. It puts language to what we already observe.
It might be Ti-Fe because this ESTP also likes to see MBTI as a good system for seeing and understanding others and ourselves.
Doug Roberts ...and having a language makes it easier to organize our thoughts and thus further define our knowledge base, and remember it easier. Its like hearing a symphony of of our thoughts. Our thoughts have notes now. It all makes sense.
Omg yes when I was 5 I remember thinking I was an adult stuck in a child's body - I didn't have any frame of reference for what being a child was meant to feel like and couldn't relate well to my peers at all. I was confident talking to adults but not to those my own age.
omg yessss me too
I relate a lot to this. I remember that when I discovered my type, so much that I thought was just me being different was shared with other people with the same type. It's a rare type, so many people misunderstand. So, instead of framing my personality as 'I'm weird', it feels much better to say 'I'm normal but rare.'
Thank you, Emerald! I think that is a great perspective to take. "I'm weird" barricades us from other people..it's more "me vs. the world". "I'm normal but rare" still highlights our individuality, but it still gives us a feeling of belonging. Interesting concept to think about.
I feel the exact same way. I was really confused as a child of my personality and I just recently (like last week recently) discovered my type so now it's just like 'oh okay, so I'm not a freak. I am the way I am because it's my personality type.'
+solohouette Can an mbti obsession be unhealthy for infj's? I have developed a huge interest in this in the past couple of days and I'm not sure if it's doing good or harm. As an infj I have always sought after purpose and am driven by that desire to find meaning behind who I am. Since I have always felt like an outsider, it's kind of weird to think that a personality profile can define who I am. I've always felt like my personality is undefinable. I'm not sure what I'm trying to get at, but hopefully you can relate and share your thoughts! I'd appreciate it. Great video btw :)
Yes. I totally agree with you. I think the same. Haha. I used to think I'm weird.
Normal but rare. hmmmm. I think that in today's world that is a rare and profound (INFJ) observation. I would imagine that you have certain outputs and results that skew this perception. perhaps we INFJ'S are normal most of the time and rare (per results and impact) during certain moments.
I was SHOCKED when I discovered that I was normal for my type. Suddenly all of these things that I was told that I needed to "fix" turned out to be totally normal for my personality. It was very liberating.
When you struggle your entire life with the feeling of being different and feeling like a outsider. It is AWESOME to learn why that is, and that there are others. I feel special, instead of feeling like I'm less than others. And we are always learning, and trying to better ourselves, so these vids help us grow.
Hi ~ I want to say that I was nodding all the time while watching your video :) I am an INFJ, who, just like you, never really convey my ideas, opinions, or even dreams with my family, at least not genuinely. Sometimes my family would tell me to change my personlity and open up more, tell them more about what my true thoughts are, but I would find myself losing my temper whenever I try to tell them how I think or feel about something and why I feel that way. Not sure if other INFJ have similar experience like this, but It's much more natural and comfortable for me to express myself through writing or doing something artistic. Anyway, nice video!!
I think for us as a group we find the words to express ourselves when we have the time to mull it over. Words mean things and we can be exact in our expressions or conveyance of an idea. I find my command of language is bigger when writing and the fact we read a lot there are so many more words at available than in our common speech.
I loved this video so much! I knew MBTI in last november and it was like if I was freed from a burden that had upon me for a long time (precisely, since I can remember...). Now I feel like I'm relieved. MBTI helped me to become more self-confident and to not care of what other people think about me. Moreover, I am not obliged anymore to do things that I don't want to do just to please others and avoid conflict. I'm still a courteous, gentile and sympathetic man, but I perceived that I am not worse than anyone in this planet, then I can stand up for my desires and dreams. In resume, after knowing MBTI, I realized that I am a likable person and that I deserve love for being who I am.
@ 14:00 ish, I like that you pointed this out. I let my close friends know, the ones I'm comfortable sharing my MBTI nerdyness with, that MBTI should be looked at as a spectrum where no two people of the same type will be exactly the same in behavior/personality. I also let them know that the functions behind the four letters are infinitely more important than the four letters themselves.
You have all The INFJs.I was so amazed when I first discovered that I wasn't alone.Also how inteligent we all are.
MB TI is amazing because it create a new world in your mind that you can relate to subconsciously when you fully understand it.
The INFJ label is also a convenient and concise term to sum up our complexity. You could call it a crux for us. Those instances which cause is frustration, we can now think “that’s due to being an INFJ “. It stops us from getting so stressed due to knowledge of self and others in relation to us.
I would like to tell you a HUGE THANK YOU for what you said in the video. My childhood and adolescence were not easy at all. I wanted to have friends but they always misunderstood me. My teachers were the ones who inspired me a lot. 16 years later, I am now a teacher and I know that I shape my students' characters. Unfortunately... I cannot save every little human being :(
It is very complicated to juggle between your own self and being a social chameleon.
"Be the change you want to see in the world." I am sure you must relate :) Thank you again.
From an INTJ (girl stucked in woman's body)
What a sweet comment :) I really appreciate that
+solohouette I mistyped it's INFJ, lol. 100%! And you are welcome :) Take care.
Do you have telegram were looking for people whod like to join our mbti based rather small group, we talk about all kinds of things alongside it
God bless you you are beautiful this was so relatable. I love the chart you made, that is so true. Also lithiumenergy's quote is amazing. I find myself dropping hints all the time.
Man, that low risk/high risk chart is so true, and also what you said about the amount of energy it requires. Doing small talk is so exhausting to me. But when I talk to someone and the conversation gets really deep, if we talk about crazy theories for example; it's almost like I get energy from those conversations even though I'm an introvert, and I feel like I don't want the conversation to end.
Damn you are fantastic! Hope to find someone or rather even MORE people like you in real life soon. Really need that intelligence and depth in my friendship and overall relationships.
For me an adult male at 52 I found out I am INFJ this year. The amount of clarity offered in understanding this is huge. Nevertheless I know God made me this way just as he made everyone else. The beauty I found in Christ is even more amazing as I continue to to walk the narrow path grounded in the truth. He is the true Love in a loveless world and peace beyond understanding. In my early walk I found much wisdom in Proverbs as the foundation for life in dealing with others yet I am still amazed how so many do not understand selfless kindness by their reactions Anyway I will continue because I can and God wants me too, yet not to the extent of abuse or outside of my moral bounds. Would be a wonderful world if all treated others as they desire to be treated. Life is a journey back to God may you all find your way to Him.
All true! Number 3 is because the MBTI gives us a framework to understand ourselves and others, thereby, providing the data needed to improve ourselves. Let’s face it if we weren’t struggling in our relationships, we wouldn’t be on MBTI sites looking for answers. For me it is not getting butt-hurt every time my ideas or personality are misunderstood and/or rejected.
We are old souls and as small children we all have probably heard adults say that we talk like little adults. I think it’s because we desire deeper communication at all times through our lives. As children deeper and more meaningful communications were readily available because we just looked towards adults. As adults, deeper communication is not as easily obtained. Yes most of the SJs and SPs will be unwilling and/or unable to get into deeper and more meaningful discussions.
With Lithiums final comment about romanticizing speech, We INFJ speak in metaphors, symbols, abstract etc so to sensors we come off as being cryptic because they don't pick up on our connections relayed via speech. This attributes to us always feeling misunderstood because others don't understand us from the same perception.
I like the fact that you brought up the haircut as an example. I don't like getting a haircut, but not necessarily because I don't want my hair to be shorter, but because I know that I *have to* do this small talk. If I would be honest and wouldn't care about others' feelings, I would probably tell the barber something like "Sorry, but I don't want to talk, just cut off this damn hair of mine and be done with it."
A1den PlayinAr0und I completely understand and agree with this sentiment... To the point that I never talked to the person cutting my hair. It probably looked rude. Only recently, after finding a barber who does a great job, and who I have visited about 8 times in the last year, have I started to talk at all.
I personally enjoy that you speak about whatever is on your mind. I relate to a lot of what you discuss as an INTJ. You have given me so much inspiration to keep developing myself and not to give up! I feel very connected with you despite never having met.
OMG so relatable to me, especially when i need to talk to a hairstylist, but now i'm kinda okay with that because i go to the same hairstylist recently.
When I was younger, before I learned about personality typing, I became a hairstylist, to "work on" my social skills: I wanted to become someone else. Worst 10 years of my life LOL small talk all day, every day, made me suicidal...
Wow! I relate to all these reasons for liking MBTI alot! Honestly there is so much in our minds that goes on that most other people wouldn't have any idea about. I don't know about others but I often get taken as a person who is not only quiet but also as a guy who could get fooled easily by their facades; and when I do even tell anybody that I know of somebody's intentions (to protect myself or somebody else), they look at me like how could this guy who is so quiet (so definitely also dumb) have such an insight. I often feel very apart from others and misunderstood, so it was a very good feeling to know that there were others out there who shared similar experiences and feelings as mine...
Very articulate, thanks for sharing. I found for me that also learning about the ennegram. There's a lot of free online assessments that rank order possible ennegram types that might apply to you, offering a starting place for reading about specific types. I initially mistyped myself, so take care. It's not for everyone as it conveys how we learned to cope and it's negative implications. But it also conveys the way out of our unconscious conditioning.
I agree it is often used in very limiting and abused ways. It's been almost a year since I participated in a forum. After enough time, I needed to let go of the tool and reconnect in ways that are intuitive and not prescribed. I found my brain held on too tightly to the impressions that come from study. I have enjoyed the break. 😊
I always felt like I just function around people way older than me or way younger, that way there is less ego tension going on
As the others I totally agree with what you've said.
Only one difference : as was in a very bad mental condition when I learnt about mbti functions n stuff, and i learnt it, at first, to protect myself from the harm people could do to me. It became an obsession and i forced myself to stop for several months.
Now I'm into mbti to better learn about people, and because it's quite fascinating.
Btw I love your videos! Can't wait for the next ones ;)
Idc what u talk about....... you are sooooooo beautiful that I could sit here and watch you talk about the weather.
When it comes to conversation, facts have a wonderfully magnetic riptide effect which can greatly assist transition from small talk to deep insights. :-)
Liked this video. I am relatively new to this, understanding of being an INFJ. MBTI results were astonishing for me as to how accurate they were in describing me. I very rarely comment in any of the videos I watch, but this one has compelled me to comment, as you have provided a very profound understanding of INFJs. I am now getting to understand the adaptability part of my personality, as I used to think I was more of a pushover (used to get upset about it that I wont ever be able to show the rich opinion I have based on my knowledge) , even though I used to have good knowledge and insight about a topic , especially in front of a group of more than 5-6 people. Now I understand why do I get easily influenced by others opinion externally even though I would remain in conflict inside and eventually be misunderstood. This test and this video has helped me . I would ask you to keep on making such nicely introspected , read and thoughtful videos on INFJs and their compatibility with other 15 personalities.
This is a phenomenal video. One of the best INFJ videos I've seen. I feel like I can share this video to some family members who just don't get me. I ultimately know that the MBTI test should be taken with a grain of salt. At the end of the day, everything should be evaluated on a spectrum. It still doesn't change the reality of how my brain works. Thanks for this video!
Great video. Even as an INTJ I can relate to all 3 reasons completely. The feeling of pre-mbti alienation & the desire to understand ourself and others ultimately is driven by the Ni thirst for knowledge and the abstract ways in which it goes about doing so.
This is easily one of my favourite videos on myers briggs ^^ What you said rings true to me since I had similar if only exactly same reasons as the ones you gave, it feels good as a confirmation of my thoughts. And what you said in the end gave me a really good reminder of the ways to use mbti, so thank you! :D
INFJs are a mystery to most people, and even to those who know me well, I may still seem mysterious. But I just want to say how much of a mystery, that even I feel about myself. Because only after discovering mbti, have I known that I didn't really know myself as much I thought I did, and the reason was that most of my attention was placed on others (which I have no idea, at all, of.) made me lose sight of what I actually want. (This all similar to one reason you've said)
Wow, thank you for the sweet compliment! And yes..I think the worst advice anyone could give an INFJ is "Just be yourself". Most people will never understand how difficult it is for us to define ourselves on our own terms
solohouette You're much welcomed ^^ And yes, exactly what you said. I agree :))
I purposefully avoid going to the same hair dresser more than a few times because I don't want to have to build a relationship with them. Making small talk with a stylist for 4-5 hrs while they do my hair is something I can handle, but since I have sort of a minimal "set" of Me-Hairstylist conversation topics, they can only stretch through a few appointments before I run out of material. Also, I tend to (accidentally?) coerce my hair stylists into having deeper conversations with me, so they usually DO remember me if I come back in... and then there is this weird continuity to the relationship that I'm uncomfortable with... become defense about talking to them about my life... etc..
I want a hair stylist who is mute. I'll read my book... you focus on styling my hair... OR I would also accept a step-by-step instructional lesson on how to style my hair... but please don't tell me a passing tidbit about your horrible marital problems if you don't want me to engage you conversation about it for the rest of the appointment. As usual content is great. Thanks!
Hi Solohouette, I like your chart with the different levels of communication. It describes my path-finding in the world of communication during my life journey! When doing military service, communication was mostly small talk and humor. At University (Tech), communication was full of ideas and opinions. Those days, I interacted with many NTs but I guess I didn't appreciate the dept of Ni and the creative thoughts of Ne fully yet. During marriage and work, I became more comfortable with the communication of Feeling types. And today I really like the mind-bending ideas and perspectives of the INFJs and the deep insights of the INTJs. Greetings from an adaptive Se-nsing fan. :)
I took the Briggs test in college. I didn't think much of it until recently that I've been seeing videos of it....before I just thought I needed meds now I guess we just have some kind of "gift" that not many people have.....
Your eyes are so spiritual! Another reason INFJ's might like MBTI is that the creators are also said to be INFJ's. :)
Excellent video. I've re-framed my thinking from "I am an INFJ", to "I am a unique person with an INFJ personality." I loved that concept of the different levels/layers of communication. I use small talk and humour most of the time, since either I don't want to 'go deep' with a particular person, or I intuit (correctly or falsely) that they won't understand what I'm saying or where I'm coming from, or that they won't be interested, or that it may lead to conflict or misunderstanding. Thus using Ni and Ti I gage what they're interested in, assisting this process by reading their body language with Se, and then communicating via Fe. Yet such small talk/humour/facts is generally more abstract bent - especially humour.
Thus I find even in the 'low risk' communication categories traces of my 'deeper side' shine thru - enough so that one might pick up, like your relative, that I'm not wholly superficial. If someone can't do the abstract small talk 'dance' (on random things, satire, etc) it's twice as wearying, and quickly turns to awkward silences if they don't meet me 50% of the way! Although such 'agony' is a necessary act of loving others as a social creature within a society. Hence seeking to love others through whatever means of communication, as opposed to trying to 'get into deeper levels' I've tried to make my focus these days. It's a selfless and freeing thing, and I'm happy to 'go deep' when the opportunity arises, but I've got myself and the Good Lord anyway! (Soz, sooo long).
A thought provoking video!
"If someone can't do the abstract small talk 'dance' (on random things, satire, etc) it's twice as wearying, and quickly turns to awkward silences if they don't meet me 50% of the way!"
Yes! It's beyond exhausting to be the one putting in more effort to keep the conversation alive. I don't seem to have that problem with many extroverts, though.
Thank you for the thoughtful comment - glad you could relate!
I just discovered I am an infj I'm still shocked. But the tests don't lie. I have a close female friend infj she thinks im an extrovert lol. But I know me
Yeah, people think I'm an extrovert too. I'm an INFJ and so is my dad and my two brothers. My mom and sister are INFPs.
None of us are extroverts, but people often think that my parents and I are extroverts---though my siblings dont socialize with people outside the inner-circle.
The MBTI didn't mean too much to me right out of high school. I mistyped back then for ISTP, which happened for several reasons. 18 yrs later, my newest results helped me connect with others. The people online aside, I had already known 2 INFJ's from the meditation center I go to. 1's an empath like me, & we have a lot in common. A week after getting my results, I asked her if she was an INFJ, and she said yes. Our other friend, a massage therapist, is also an INFJ. I've always felt a natural connection with them. During that same time period, I started dating someone and we had an immediate easygoing connection. She's an INTJ, and knowing this helps me understand our interactions, especially in regards to us using Ni.
Great advice. I (INTJ) see so many people acting out their stereotypical MBTI type . MBTI is quite accurate,but there are so many variables that a single description can not encompass a person. For instance the INTJ stereotype doesn't consider the rare INTJ born into a mesomorph body type. I still have the innate social anxieties,but I didn't spend my teenage years playing Dungeons and Dragons,or watching Star Trek. I hear so many young INTJ's claim that they don't care what others think of them and I call bullshit on that. That is part of the defense mechanism of being misunderstood and avoiding vulnerability. INTJ's are so secretive of their personal lives (other than those select few close enough to share their inner self), that it is impossible to really classify them as accurately as those types that show their true self outwardly. Also, I personally fall somewhere in between an INTJ (predominate) and INTP with MBTI and only Socionics "The Critic" describes me accurately.
Any personality type can be insecure. But I used to be one of them "I don't give a shit about what other people think" but actually did for the longest, though I don't give two damns about D&D or Star Trek either, and I'm INFJ.
your aunts words made me emotional.
Rodney Leon , me too!
I understand all to well that chart of communication! I will go as far as to research small talk type stuff just to have some ammunition in guess of silence. I visit the infj subreddit often and it's kind of therapeutic for to read the posts' and comments.
I collect "ammunition" as well. It depends on the person though. If I've made plans with someone who has proven to be a low-level communicator I'll
usually invite other people to keep the small talk going while I recharge though observation.
You know what's weird? I'm hugely into synchronicities and the word ALIEN has been making huge rounds in my life and you said it at 4:01. But I was watching an interview of Jung and they asked how he got interesting in being an ALIENIST. I thought maybe it was his weird accent and he was saying 'analyst'. Nope, it's an old term for psychologist. But here's something weird. I'd been wanting to quit my job for a while at work and finally, unexpectedly did so. My employee number was 4239. A few mths later, which was about 2 days ago, I was watching Z Nation episode, RoZwell, and the marksman on there was keeping count of his Zombie kills and he took out his 4239th Zombie, matching my employee number. He did this in Roswell, the most famous alien place there is.
I loved Lithium Energy's quote.
There could be plenty of reasons, but the main is probably the fact that MBTI offers an explanation why we've felt so weird all our lives, and we previously couldn't put a finger on it to save our life..
I have a descent amount of close friends but I did not realize that only a few know the deep me. some reason my deep side is only shown to a few. I guess on a subconscious level I have hidden that side of me. Not all infjs are the same. We may have a similar psychological makeup but our colors are different.
I'm friends with an estj as well. he was nerdy as a kid so couldn't do typical estj things. we also both like some of the same things.
Yes. Yes. Yessss. I too felt like an older person in a Childs body.
Yes, yes, and yes. - fellow INFJ
Thank you very much for this vídeo. Keep up the good work.
Can relate. Awesome video. Thanks.
very insightful! thanks for sharing
I appreciate your videos (:
Enfps also love mbti
great video. greetings from INFP
Hmm, a lot of types, SPs, SJs, etc like to share their unsolicited political opinions. When I systematically begin to dissasemble their argument, they get quite upset.
I do notice how Ni deficient people make bold statements about "big picture" social issues like homelessness or gridlock traffic, without bothering to engage in some rudimentary root cause analysis...the Ni dom's forte...
I have even gotten into it with sensing types who believe we can fend off an alien invssion a la Avengers Superhereos. When I enumerate all of the vastly superior technologies they would posess and the numerous ways they could kill us off, they get quite upset.
We Ni doms understand our sensing deficiency since it is shoved in our faces everyday. However, sensing types rarely encounter an Ni dom who can call them on their BS.
I annoy people about MBTI lol whoops
Good job.
Hi I really like how you explain things you do a great job.
Have you typed your mom and dad an the rest of your family; also does your understanding about the different aspect of each type how has knowing this stuff effect you all relationships?
I hung out with a loud mouth who made bad jokes and followed suit ugh damn me lol
the part at (:46 where the INFJ who has written that text says "the other persons *deserves* to know about deeper parts...blabla"...is soo typically INFJ. Like they're the ultimate judge...I mean..just be honest. As an INTP i do not get why wants to play such a fake superficial persona, unless the other person has 'proven to them' to be 'worth'their inner feelings. It has this kinda stuck up thing where they are the ones who judge whether one is ' worthy of their inner feelings', while the other person is already being honest with you (or not) ..It feels like a princes who says the knight can get a kiss if he kills her dragon or something..like a princessy type of thing
Personally I just go deep with everyone. If they can't handle it I just let them fall away.
If I had a dollar for every time an extrovert or proud parent openly shared one of my creations (which was sent to them privately and/or intended for a specific audience)...
I'd be a much rich man. :D
Well done.
so how do INFJs take care of our selves? and not mold or make life decisions for others? in short HOW do we become more selfish?? I need this skill and I lack it.
I think the first step is to recognize when you're being influenced by other people. Then try to decide who that decision will benefit more in the long-run: you or the person that's influencing you. It will be more uncomfortable for you to "rip off the baindaid" by saying "no" right away, but it's better than teaching people that you have no boundaries.
true, man I am not good at boundaries. is this a common INFJ problem?
I swear, I've been told to be more selfish, but I can't.. I guess it's not in our nature to be selfish.. But the world is so selfish, and we get drained from how much is taken from us..I guess it's important to learn the importance of boundaries and also embrace the dark side of our nature, to bring balance to our inner core.. We can't be too good and we can't be too bad..
love it
As a INFJ I know how hard it must be to make these videos. I guess you are okay I hope.
are you coming back?
Are you the same person as the Thinker?
❤
What’s you’re enneagram ?
Actually I hate it. The language is very problematic I think because we talk about things that we can’t actually see. I think this is a recurring pattern with stuff people like to think about. Basically 50% of all philosophy is talking about stuff that doesn’t exist and even modern linguistics (my field of study) talks about a lot of things that I believe don’t exist. The thing with the functions and stuff makes a lot of sense and it feels like it’s so true, but in the end it’s just a story. It might be very possible that a lot of the patterns that MBTI assumes are real and exist in the real world, but as long as we don’t have an actual methodology to measure the functions it is scientifically worthless. I think MBTI is a very compelling story, it gives you patterns that you can look for in your own personality you can work with, but I don’t think it tells you who you really are. And if you search for a pattern, you are going to find it wether it’s been there before or not. I would encourage everyone who enjoys MBTI to move beyond it.