I dated a narcissist for two months. It could have went on for years if I played a long. But thanks to RUclips I already saw the red flags. Thank you. I'm so happy I didn't sleep with him .
As mentioned in the video, the narc will continue to raise expectations to ensure that you always fall short. I’ll never forget being baffled by the complaints. One day I calmly said, “You’ll never be satisfied.” That simple statement incensed her. She yelled, “Take that back!” I didn’t realize it at the time but she was angry because the statement was true. I was discarded shortly after. This was after several years of trying to live up to the narc’s expectations.
Bro same thing happened with me. When I told her I keep jumping over all the hurdles she’s setting and she continues to find something new so she’ll never be satisfied she just blankly stared at the wall. We didn’t break up until almost a year later though.
Same here, only thing was i never knew what her expectations where. Sometimes I never knew that I was trying to meet her expectations. Not once did i ever meet expectations. PTSD after 30 yrs divorced.
I just had to contribute a comment. I've just begun a relationship with a fantastic woman who recently threw her narcissist out. Listening to what you say, now I know what to do to build her back up to the outstanding woman she always was. I thank you for this series!
She is obviously trauma bonded to him. I've broken up with a covert narc, I KNOW what he is and how I was used...it was 20 months of hell, yet I'm still grieving for him and I'm scared he will suck me back in. God help me !!
@@jimgriffiths9071 read your first comment and was about to say let her tell you what she needs but....read this - yep she's messed up sadly - they have a hold on you - the narc....i would move on -
That’s amazing!!! We have deep deep wounds that takes years to heal!!! 🙏🙏. That’s amazing that your a builder!!! We need more builders in this world! 🙏❤️
You have no responsibility to fix someone who is trauma bonded to an abusive partner. They can only figure this out for themselves and it takes an awful lot of time and healing, and many dark days to see that the good side of a narcissist is only manipulation. Having healthy boundaries means saying to yourself, if a potential new partner doesn't have their $hit together, and has healed from trauma, then they have no place in your life.
The ex always made it seemed as if sex was always on his mind and that he needed a lot of it. In my stupid thinking, I thought part of the cheating was because he was so sex driven. I was always open to satisfy his needs. There were times I was the initiator and he always rejected me, made comments about I was to aggressive. I’m starting to understand that it was all a part of him being in control. And yes I felt undesirable, ugly and terrible at sex. After the discard, his story was I wasn’t interested in sex with him that much. It’s really crazy🥵
Same. Was literally thinking about this today - how when I used to initiate, my husband always made me feel ugly and undesirable. But, when I don’t want it, his sexually aggressive (borderline abusive) behaviour is excusable. Disgusting.
I’m sorry Lisa. That is exactly how it was for me. That is so crazy looking back when they’d say we were to aggressive but yet we now recognize it was about the control. I hope things continue you get better for you
That's an interesting parallel. Mine took a similar route. I have always been a very sexual person and, in the beginning, that was great for both of us. But as time went on and I kept wanting the same physicality, it became a regular source of contention with him saying I had zero sexual boundaries in a bad way i.e. he basically called me a whor3 because of this even though he was my first and only actual sex at this point in my life. Even though I wasn't really asking for anything crazy (like this argument where he called me a whor3 happened because I wanted to make out with him, my husband, in our car, on a dark mountain road near where he had made out with and even initiated topless things with his recent affair in the middle of broad daylight and with her toddler son in the back, but he was paranoid about a cop seeing us as a married couple parked there making out and getting into trouble for it). But, nonetheless, he made it out to be my problem that I wanted the same physical connection that he'd given me in the beginning, that I sometimes wanted sex more than he did, that I was more adventurous than he felt like being a few years in, that I was always there for him sexually and felt used that in spite of that sex was completely on his schedule i.e. whenever he wanted it but never when he didn't. Even if I tried to say no, or set specific lines with him, especially after our divorce, he would covertly push my boundaries until he seduced me into it, and then be sure to make it clear that it was ME who ultimately made the call and not him (because he'd push and seduce even as I resisted and said no, even getting irritable with me "accusing" him because he "wasn't going to cross any of my lines," but at the last second of doing literally everything else up to that point, and pushing against any of my resistance with "it's not what you said was off limits," even though I'd initially been uncomfortable with it because I knew where it was leading even as he denied it and said it wouldn't, would put the final last second choices all on me) but anytime I tried to do anything close to the same in our marriage if he wasn't in the mood, to see if I could seduce him into it, it was "disrespectful" to him and HE felt used. It wasn't an equal playing field so I never really knew the rules and what was okay or not. Why could he do that and think it was a fun and sexy game but got angry at me for doing the exact same thing? But my sexual assertiveness and knowing what I wanted and when I wanted it was the problem. I was too much. But I see now that it was about control and how much he had in the situation. I wanted more than he wanted to give me, so me and my sexuality were the problem; not his lack of reciprocity and consistency. And he couldn't control me sexually because I had such a strong sense of my own desires and what I wanted so that was the real problem for him. And the real kicker is that since then he's now created this hyper sexual persona of being a Dom, carrying handcuffs around, being called daddy by all his polyamourous lovers etc. But I, who introduced him to those types of things in the first place (elements of BDSM, light bondage, etc.) and kept wanting that same vibe and passion in our marriage was made to feel like I was too much by him. I feel like he first belittled my sexuality and what I wanted with it, and then hijacked it as his own to further his current love life as soon as I was out of the picture. It's a case of giving the next supply everything you asked for and wanted after fighting you on it and taking pieces of you to further their next relationship(s). However, in spite of all of these red flags of selfishness and narcissism, of our sex life being all about him and only his desires and needs at that particular moment, he wasn't a selfish lover per se in the actual act. He did care if I was satisfied and would make sure it was mutually pleasurable. But the context around an otherwise "good" sex life was all about him.
@@frozenrose87 Listen to some Sam Vaknin's videos. Narc men want you to be their mom once you are married. If you want sex, it is discusting (what kind of mother sleeps with his son...) and they shame you. Then there are the ladies he considers as whor3s and wants to sleep with them.
I was in a constant state of confusion for 48yrs because this narc enjoyed playing mind games. I am seeking professional help for cpts and trauma bonding. I'm not sure if I will ever be right again!
For almost 50 years ? You will figure it out, and you will be able to feel peace and being solid with yourself. It just will not be easy. After few months od gaining knowlege you will be ale to tell the difference. Take care
30 years for me. We are strong. We lived and survived their mental and emotional torture. Just take baby steps. One step at a time, you've got this. Be kind to yourself and remember to give yourself lots of love ❤️. You are not alone ❤️
This is reality!!! My Narcissist husband got to a point that he could not preform anymore? He had developed Peronies Disease He had been a Serial Adultor for a very long time. Maintaining multiple partners! He also was diagnosed with HPV. CANCER OF THE THROAT .... DIED IN 2022. I REMEMBER A Comments he made a few years before died. He stated he was not the man he use to be......almost apologising for inability to perform anymore. I just laughed. He had a terrible ending...KARMA SERVED. Living an entire life of EMPTYNESS UNTIL THE END!!! VERY SAD!! PITTABLE TO SOMR EXTENT. YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT ON ALL POINTS. THANK YOU!! RECOVERED.....RECONCILED....AND MOVING FORWARD IN N.C..
Thankful to seeing more men standing up to this evil! Women can be narcs too. Again we are describing a person not diagnosing them and mine was a con artist!
So much of this resonates. Unfortunately. 😕 Thank you for making these videos. I feel validated in my experience. I needed this today to remind me of why I deserve so much better than how I've been treated for so many years, especially after giving so much, always being made to feel my best was never good enough and that I was the problem. I am free from the abuse now. I need to focus on my own needs and my healing as my number one priority.
This content is so enlightening. I’m still stuck in a relationship with my covert narcissist husband but now I can (almost) laugh at the (now) obvious tactics he’s been using for over a decade to belittle me. Getting stronger by the day 💪
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Towards the end after 5 months of no sex. I said this to my wife I need sex. I need loving. She would say to me. I'm going through things. What do you want me to do. Do you want me to lye there like a piece of meet. I said no but I feel we are not connected no more. I then found out she was having an affair for 2 years. Horrible toxic person. Brilliant video.
i watched part 1 and started to think I was the narcissist....until I got to the end, so I had to come to part 2. and its so spot on with my situation.
My narc husband is so weird that he tells me the only way he’d leave me and leave me alone is if I go out and cheat otherwise he’ll never leave me alone. He cheats and cheats and wants me to come out of character and I won’t, I think about it just so he’ll leave me alone but someone I don’t think it’ll work that way and im not trying to beat myself up because he can’t be an adult and listen that I want a divorce. He’s getting more out of control with behaviors and outbursts though because he knows im getting closer and closer to leaving.
This is so true and people are living it every day. The game they play is too fold. They put you on a Pedestal, compliment you, act like they love and are proud of you. Then one day, you become a victim, one who isn't good enough, pretty enough, smart enough and the belittling begins. Then its back and forth. Like a fish caught, then thrown back in. You try harder and harder to be what they want but never quite measure up. They just tapped in to your secret feelings. They had their radar up and spotted you right away like Narcs and Victims do. Both need help!
I would literally disassociate during so my mind didn’t have to face the painful reality that my own husband was using me. It’s devastating to think about. I was an object that happened to be there. Nothing more.
im talking to someone who is using sex to control & manipulate only hes witholding for (various reasons) so glad im healed from a former narc so im noticing these things earlier on to not waste my time.
Thanks you! So much came full circle with this video. Thank you! Glad your on your Path to help your life and those who are around you. Thank you for answering the "call" and making this platform for the Survivors of this type of abuse🙌🏿🦋💪🏿
Boom 💥 the truth 👏👏👏 you just described the story of my 24 years of marriage to my ex narcissist husband. I finally got my divorce. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ son of God for delivering me 🙏 and my family 🙏 and for people like you that tells us how it is. Now I know the truth he never loved me but now I know why my body didn't want nothing to do with him. I felt a sense of release when he was out my life. Praises to the most high God is the greatest 🙏🙏🙏
Praise be to God that you were delivered from your ex narc husband. I pray that one day I will also be delivered from this toxic marriage relationship. I just don't know how to leave.
My ex made me feel like I had an unusual high libido which made me question myself. Before him I had a high sex drive but being with him and not getting my emotional needs met I felt like my inner goddess died. If only I knew that he was having an affair which lasted our entire relationship! And no he wasn’t that good. In fact he was insecure about his size lol if u know what I mean! I’m having toxic withdrawals but I’ll make it! Never turning back!
Oh man, this sounds like my husband to a T. But I am stuck and dont have proof of an affair but highly suspect he cheat and has cheated throughout our marriage. I get UTI infections EVERY time I have sex with him….so I try to avoid it as it is unfulfilling to begin with….then having to deal with the pain of infection is not worth it at all.
When we were first married, my husband called me a nymphomaniac/slut. Then, when I pulled away, he got mad and tried to guilt me into sex “the Bible says…” Then, it became, for several years, me feeling like a blow-up doll that supplied a hole. For the most part, the sex is amazing and he [almost] always makes sure I’m done. But I wonder with all the back and forth, is it his pride that he does that or does he really care?
When we were first married, my husband called me a nymphomaniac/slut. Then, when I pulled away, he got mad and tried to guilt me into sex “the Bible says…” Then, it became, for several years, me feeling like a blow-up doll that supplied a hole. For the most part, the sex is amazing and he [almost] always makes sure I’m done. But I wonder with all the back and forth, is it his pride that he does that or does he really care?
I was blamed for silent treatment the last 2 years of a 19 year marriage. I later noticed my body was doing self protection. I became so stressed I got autoimmune psoriasis on my hands. I was torn between what i thought was a life of love, and the realization after all those years she was fuggin with me. I remember the look in her eyes when she realized I could see her. Found she had been "keeping in touch" with a married man for all of our marriage. She full blown cheated when I traveled to take care of my mother after her stroke. I was juggling so much I was losing my hair. She was homemaker our entire marriage. Raised 3 children and her daughter from previous. She nuked the whole family. Introduced her friend to my 14 year old son one week I was away, told my son he couldn't sleep on Daddys side of bed and had to sleep on couch. Slept with the married man a bed I built by hand. My son was traumatized. She told him it was none of Daddys business. I filed for full custody immediately. I have custody and rights to my boys now. Ages 14 & 5. It's been so traumatic. My hands still haven't healed. She never had remorse.
Funnily enough I developed psoriasis and fibromialga while living with a narc. I didn't realise the stress and anxiety from the relationship was the cause of it. Been in another relationship with a narc and developed polymialga, pain throughout my whole body and lost my enthusiasm for life. We recently separated and im hoping to regain my strength, my health and my emotional well being. Its awful to think they deliberately pull you down emotionally and physically for their own enjoyment.
He uses sex as a weapon. He gives it and takes it away at his leisure. But he behaves like he is jealous of me which is weird. I'm afraid he is moved up to trying to hurt me without my knowledge. I'm quietly trying to get proof and leave this relationship. Everytime I try to leave he finds a way to keep me in place.
"A good woman will do this for her man, even when she's not in the mood. If you really loved me, you would get over yourself and just let it happen. I'll be quick anyways." I really did believe that I was the problem, because you know, I'm "damaged goods", too crazy and weird, and no one else loves or wants me if it wasn't for him taking me as "the love of his life".
I can relate to what you've shared. In this last relationship I was in, I thought that I was the messed-up in damaged one, and he was so kind for being with me and being patient with me. But it turned out he was a pathological liar so he was really messed up and he just never admitted to any of his flaws because he needed to be seen as perfect. Now I know to be wary of feeling like damaged goods when I'm with someone. It is probably because they're not being vulnerable and exposing themselves as an imperfect human
He was right. A good woman would do that for her man but you are not my man because we have papers or share a roof. Being my man has actions that go along with that tittle. It requires deep intimacy.
Hi! I need help the videos are so helpful. It’s a like a light was turned on with these videos. He always hooks me. I need help get out of this terrible marriage. I’ve been married to my narcissist husband for 25yrs. He is getting worse and demeaning me and our kids don’t even exist to him. I’m done. I know he cheated and I told him that is not acceptable, but he crossed every line I asked him not to do. Can you please reach out?
You're explaining my life to a T my narc stopped touching me the day I had my daughter 9 yrs ago. Im sure hes cheated lots of times, and ive been loyal I want out but cant afford to leave. But I legit feel like you recorded conversations in my home. Everything is my fault, I know hes got new supply cause hes treating me horribly, I lost my job so hes using her for what I used to provide. Im in a living hell.
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging situation. It's not easy to feel trapped in a relationship where you're being mistreated and unable to leave due to financial constraints. Remember that you are not alone, and there are resources and support available to help you navigate this difficult situation.
I've been there. It will only get worse. I pray you find peace. I had to move in with my sister and never looked back. I left when my daughter was 1 month old
@@TinasEZrecipesthank God you escaped with your daughter and your life-not everyone does. And you're right about it only getting worse if she chooses to stay. That's when "accidents" start to happen if they're not already physically abusing you and breaking and/or killing your things, pets, plants etc.
Do some coverts literally say; "There's always something wrong (with you!)" ?? I had multiple autoimmune conditions so did he, but he told me to "suck it up". He got angry I was always sick or tired. Though many years have passed I am still left feeling like the villian.
It feels like you are speaking directly to me about my 6 year relationship. We are engaged, not married, but we have a 4 year old and a 6 month old together. I know I need to get out but I literally can't.
I exposed my covert narc wife. She's trying soooo hard to paint me as the abuser because I react to her incessant narcissistic behavior. It's pretty sad.
I’m nearly 2 years separated and he’s still trying to make me feel not good enough always moving the goal post Sex was not good ever I’m finally detaching and see things for what they were he did the angry and calm after he provoked me and I would react I hate him
I'm done with sex! Leaving sex behind has helped me gain back personal and emotional space. Sex was good when it was offered but it only added to the confusion in the relationship giving a false sense of intimacy.
I often felt in bed having sex, Ok it felt good, but whereas before because I trusted him I felt it in my heart and soul and in my being, I couldn't risk feeling like that with him so I DIDN'T feel it that way. Part of my spirit died when he messed up my mind with threats of infidelity. It'll be a long time before I put my trust in someone again. 🍒
Please continue speaking about this subject. As a teenager I was a rape survivor who was attacked by an ex-boyfriend I was ending an exploitive relationship with, for the sake of embarking on a new relationship with a seemingly gentleman-like, kind, warm, committed young man. Once I disclosed the attack (that occurred when I attempted to sit down with the ex and respectfully conclude the relationship), the new gentleman-like young man did not at-all see me as having had something horrific happen to me, but he saw it as something I had permitted, and which infringed upon his relationship with me. He responded like HE had been the one compromised. I did everything I could, to protect him from the effects of my having been attacked. I was diminished in my own eyes and his response served to further diminish me. In time I began to experience a lot of flashbacks with this gentlemanly boyfriend that I had for 7 years. It was like my body just shut down I didn't understand why. And I worked very hard to try to heal. And for those 7 years he presented as a very caring guy but I began to see slowly that he was extremely, subtly, punishing me within the sex act and in other ways that I later recognized were extremely low-key and covert throughout the relationship. I had a dream, and eventually I told him that I sensed with him that our relationship was like he and I walking through a forest together and my suddenly realizing that I've been mauled on my arm and wondering where the injury came from and asking him "did you see anything"? To which he responded no. And then it was like I continued to walk through the forest of our relationship with him and again I would see that I'd been painfully mauled on some part of my body and I would ask him "did you recognize or see anything that's injuring me that's harming me"? And he would respond no and continue to walk with me slowly through the forest; and I told him that I had gotten this sense or a dream that had told me that HE was the one who was mauling me.... That HE had been the unrecognized monster. (concealing antagonism, envy, resentment towards me that he inflicted in a manner so as to assure it would not be recognized, and so that the relationship and it's benefits to him would continue). I now more clearly see that he encouraged the continuation of our relationship while persisting in this never-ending retaliatory cycle of punishment towards me. Needless to say as a survivor of assault this would have been tremendously injurious and harmful to my mental health, the opposite of comforting, encouraging or healing, which is what I thought he had been in my life. Actually it was gaslighting and devaluing. Like being starved to death by a very gracious host. Only now as an older adult am I able to Iook back at that relationship and begin to truly realize that this "great guy" who I just couldn't seem to grow with, was actually gleaning pleasure and satisfaction from my pain. Pain that he very likely was deliberately inflicting. Pain that was interfering with my healing in recovery which I believed incorrectly that he wanted. Thank you for these posts. Please continue them. This is very valuable, scarcely acknowledged or discussed information.
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No safety and trust worst vibe imaginable and discovered the narcissist is a malignant sadist too I promised myself this person is never ever stepping in my house
My thankfully now ex partner, justxwanted things done to himself, and a lot, wouldn't recipricate, didn't want me to feel pleasure, it was just about him. When i had cancer, and a mastectomy, he rejected me. After i couldn't take anymore abuse, i chucked him out, found out he'd been cheating. I didn't know what he had been doing to me until i saw someone at the Domestic Abuse and Safety Unit. It all made sense, but 12 years, plus he's told anyone that will listen, all the violent things he did to me, i did to him, and there are so many people believing him.
We never felt good enough and then we’re still trying to be in good enough I mean everything from years of therapy to physical change in our bodies too or how we dress, which is ironic, because he always complain that I didn’t need to dress nice, or do any of that stuff he love me for who I was. But then later change to I like the way you look, but I don’t like who you are!!!!! Then they tear apart your looks too and very insidious ways by looking at other women, making comments about their bodies, even in front of their children!!!!!
My ex narc we started out married at 55 and her 45 sex was nearly every night it was honestly wearing me out. I was more stressed from the control she demanded that at the time I bought her load of crap that a husband should do this and do that by that I mean she devalued me and my body often didn’t want to perform. Sex with her felt like she wasn’t a person but a woman thing. Maybe it’s because I was shut down from the constant devaluing I don’t know. But I think it was her too she would say “where do you want me?” It wasn’t said sexual at all more like “where do you want to hang the picture?” That’s exactly how she would say it. She was raped at 15 as her first sexual experience so I figured the strange sex stuff was because of that and could be to be fair. But what was weird on our first couples counseling she started bragging to the counselor that we have sex every night. She had never been to counseling and I guess thought she was going to impress the counselor. Sex with her was as strange as the relationship there was never no real communication. I often told her I felt like there was no us.
For my husband’s situation it was learned by his father when he was young(watched spousal abuse), high school settings are gross mingling settings for teens, then he grew up watching porn so it became an addiction, led to a threesome I wasn’t invited to with the neighbors. It’s social standards dropping. Culture-less and sex driven. All you get is excuses. One day I’ll unstick myself from his love bombing and the fact he took my virginity.
@@Speaktruthordontspeak what would you tell your best friend if they were going through the same thing? Would you let your daughter date someone like your husband? That's all it took for me to realize it was over and have the courage to leave my first marriage. I got into counseling simply because I knew something was wrong but didn't know what. If my daughter got involved with someone like him, they'd never find the ( his) body. I would tell my best friend you are loved and you don't deserve this. In truth if he's stepping outside the marriage, you have no marriage. The trust is gone. I'm not sure about witnessing anything , perhaps learned behavior from Dad or Mom? My brothers.were coddled and could do no wrong. I was the scapegoat. My dad was considered "the bad guy " and mom was the constant victim.( Along with my brothers of course). I was neglected and blamed, even when I wasn't involved. I would be told to do.something by mom and when dad got mad about it I got lectures and beatings from them both. I came out normal ( as much as possible) but my brothers are both jail birds who made.my mother work until she dropped dead.from.supporting them. I left a long time ago with very little.contact. I was continually blamed even though I didn't live near them or talk to them hardly. I don't.understand the nature of it. It's like they were never told."no, stop throwing fits."
The first time someone so much as raises the subject of sex; and I'm out the door, into a cab and down the road before that sentence has been completed. Everyone looking for love, sex and relationship is narcissistic, toxic and to be avoided. Be alone and self-sufficient. You'll live a longer, healthier and happier life.
I'm stuck too. I've been in a relationship with a narcissist for six years with two kids, and I want to get out, but I have no plan. I don't know how to leave. I just can't submit to being sexually used anymore. I can't take it anymore. 😭
I told him I don't want to have sex with him no more cause he doesn't make me feel happy. It always have Tobe him what he wants all the time I live with for 4 years soppusely we are just friends with benefits he always put me down. It really hurts and sçared.im crying right now don't know what todo I'm tired I need to leave him and take my dog with me. He use to come and see me after work and waseven call in at work just to stay with me we use todo all crazy fun thingd and happy spending time. with me all the time he know doesn't just egnore me and treats me bad and shows he doesn't care now he tells me I'm fat and need to lose weight.
Sex was/is great. When we were together he did not touch me for 8 years. Then he discarded me. A month later he came onto me. I gave in. He had withheld for so long. Now he comes to my bed at least 3 times a week. He tell
But I'm definitly going to take the the the disability and the abuse because I really just my anxiety PTSD horrible I actually wake up in the middle of the night screaming yelling at and I have always I have really bad psychosis sometimes and I don't know when is going to come it's usually pretty bad when he's around when he calls cuz I have a Goa when he's I don't buy do fine when he's like when he doesn't call but when he starts to call and he does this a hole like he's like hey come and you know come see me and you know whatever and then as soon as I'll get there and he'll ice me out and go cold and then I'll I'll go through a couple of days of like of messaging him freaking out because of the the trauma Bond so this is my last one and he won't get me again but he enjoys watching go to the mental anguish and the distress that causes me. And all he I just learned that he gets off on that those days that I'm I'm blowing up and I thought I was I was at source of narcissistic supply his his emotional supplies. I wasn't asexual supply checked up with his girl and he has sex with anyting that's walking and I'm just thinking about back to the woman that he met and what I had to offer and now what I what this what I look like and what I am and the five years that he took for me and all that the house the money that my confidence I have brain damage from the abuse I have, I have reactive abuse and definitely experienced a trauma Bond pretty bad and then ptsd but I've experienced through this whole process
What drove you to becoming a person with NPD? I appreciate this video, but I still believe in the good of my pwNPD. There’s a reason they do this, and it’s not because they’re evil to the core. It’s because their needs were not met as children. And it shatters my heart.
I dated a narcissist for two months. It could have went on for years if I played a long. But thanks to RUclips I already saw the red flags. Thank you. I'm so happy I didn't sleep with him .
i am glad to just happen to me too my body sensed tgat something is not right. I got out after 5 Month
You didn't sleep with him in TWO months of dating? LOL
@@poseidon5003I think that’s great
As mentioned in the video, the narc will continue to raise expectations to ensure that you always fall short. I’ll never forget being baffled by the complaints. One day I calmly said, “You’ll never be satisfied.” That simple statement incensed her. She yelled, “Take that back!” I didn’t realize it at the time but she was angry because the statement was true. I was discarded shortly after. This was after several years of trying to live up to the narc’s expectations.
Ask them to put it in writing and you’ll see what happens. They won’t do it because they always move the bar.!!!!
Bro same thing happened with me. When I told her I keep jumping over all the hurdles she’s setting and she continues to find something new so she’ll never be satisfied she just blankly stared at the wall. We didn’t break up until almost a year later though.
Same here, only thing was i never knew what her expectations where. Sometimes I never knew that I was trying to meet her expectations. Not once did i ever meet expectations. PTSD after 30 yrs divorced.
I remember saying, “you always move the goal post” and for once she didn’t have a response 🫡🇺🇸🦅
Oh man ,i love it when you say that" sex is the truth of ones relationship",could not be better expressed😊
ABSOLUTELY 👌
Sex is used to capture, control and punish
I just had to contribute a comment. I've just begun a relationship with a fantastic woman who recently threw her narcissist out. Listening to what you say, now I know what to do to build her back up to the outstanding woman she always was. I thank you for this series!
Postscript: very confused woman stayed with her abusive boyfriend and sent me packing. Go figure....
She is obviously trauma bonded to him. I've broken up with a covert narc, I KNOW what he is and how I was used...it was 20 months of hell, yet I'm still grieving for him and I'm scared he will suck me back in. God help me !!
@@jimgriffiths9071 read your first comment and was about to say let her tell you what she needs but....read this - yep she's messed up sadly - they have a hold on you - the narc....i would move on -
That’s amazing!!! We have deep deep wounds that takes years to heal!!! 🙏🙏. That’s amazing that your a builder!!! We need more builders in this world! 🙏❤️
You have no responsibility to fix someone who is trauma bonded to an abusive partner. They can only figure this out for themselves and it takes an awful lot of time and healing, and many dark days to see that the good side of a narcissist is only manipulation. Having healthy boundaries means saying to yourself, if a potential new partner doesn't have their $hit together, and has healed from trauma, then they have no place in your life.
The ex always made it seemed as if sex was always on his mind and that he needed a lot of it. In my stupid thinking, I thought part of the cheating was because he was so sex driven. I was always open to satisfy his needs. There were times I was the initiator and he always rejected me, made comments about I was to aggressive. I’m starting to understand that it was all a part of him being in control.
And yes I felt undesirable, ugly and terrible at sex. After the discard, his story was I wasn’t interested in sex with him that much. It’s really crazy🥵
Same. Was literally thinking about this today - how when I used to initiate, my husband always made me feel ugly and undesirable. But, when I don’t want it, his sexually aggressive (borderline abusive) behaviour is excusable. Disgusting.
I’m sorry Lisa. That is exactly how it was for me. That is so crazy looking back when they’d say we were to aggressive but yet we now recognize it was about the control. I hope things continue you get better for you
This is textbook for them, but guess what? Once you figure one out, you can figure them all out. ✔
That's an interesting parallel. Mine took a similar route. I have always been a very sexual person and, in the beginning, that was great for both of us. But as time went on and I kept wanting the same physicality, it became a regular source of contention with him saying I had zero sexual boundaries in a bad way i.e. he basically called me a whor3 because of this even though he was my first and only actual sex at this point in my life. Even though I wasn't really asking for anything crazy (like this argument where he called me a whor3 happened because I wanted to make out with him, my husband, in our car, on a dark mountain road near where he had made out with and even initiated topless things with his recent affair in the middle of broad daylight and with her toddler son in the back, but he was paranoid about a cop seeing us as a married couple parked there making out and getting into trouble for it). But, nonetheless, he made it out to be my problem that I wanted the same physical connection that he'd given me in the beginning, that I sometimes wanted sex more than he did, that I was more adventurous than he felt like being a few years in, that I was always there for him sexually and felt used that in spite of that sex was completely on his schedule i.e. whenever he wanted it but never when he didn't. Even if I tried to say no, or set specific lines with him, especially after our divorce, he would covertly push my boundaries until he seduced me into it, and then be sure to make it clear that it was ME who ultimately made the call and not him (because he'd push and seduce even as I resisted and said no, even getting irritable with me "accusing" him because he "wasn't going to cross any of my lines," but at the last second of doing literally everything else up to that point, and pushing against any of my resistance with "it's not what you said was off limits," even though I'd initially been uncomfortable with it because I knew where it was leading even as he denied it and said it wouldn't, would put the final last second choices all on me) but anytime I tried to do anything close to the same in our marriage if he wasn't in the mood, to see if I could seduce him into it, it was "disrespectful" to him and HE felt used. It wasn't an equal playing field so I never really knew the rules and what was okay or not. Why could he do that and think it was a fun and sexy game but got angry at me for doing the exact same thing? But my sexual assertiveness and knowing what I wanted and when I wanted it was the problem. I was too much. But I see now that it was about control and how much he had in the situation. I wanted more than he wanted to give me, so me and my sexuality were the problem; not his lack of reciprocity and consistency. And he couldn't control me sexually because I had such a strong sense of my own desires and what I wanted so that was the real problem for him. And the real kicker is that since then he's now created this hyper sexual persona of being a Dom, carrying handcuffs around, being called daddy by all his polyamourous lovers etc. But I, who introduced him to those types of things in the first place (elements of BDSM, light bondage, etc.) and kept wanting that same vibe and passion in our marriage was made to feel like I was too much by him. I feel like he first belittled my sexuality and what I wanted with it, and then hijacked it as his own to further his current love life as soon as I was out of the picture. It's a case of giving the next supply everything you asked for and wanted after fighting you on it and taking pieces of you to further their next relationship(s).
However, in spite of all of these red flags of selfishness and narcissism, of our sex life being all about him and only his desires and needs at that particular moment, he wasn't a selfish lover per se in the actual act. He did care if I was satisfied and would make sure it was mutually pleasurable. But the context around an otherwise "good" sex life was all about him.
@@frozenrose87 Listen to some Sam Vaknin's videos. Narc men want you to be their mom once you are married. If you want sex, it is discusting (what kind of mother sleeps with his son...) and they shame you. Then there are the ladies he considers as whor3s and wants to sleep with them.
I was in a constant state of confusion for 48yrs because this narc enjoyed playing mind games. I am seeking professional help for cpts and trauma bonding. I'm not sure if I will ever be right again!
For almost 50 years ?
You will figure it out, and you will be able to feel peace and being solid with yourself.
It just will not be easy.
After few months od gaining knowlege you will be ale to tell the difference. Take care
❤ almost 45 years for me. We will get through this!!
30 years for me. We are strong. We lived and survived their mental and emotional torture. Just take baby steps. One step at a time, you've got this. Be kind to yourself and remember to give yourself lots of love ❤️. You are not alone ❤️
Highly recommend you try EMDR therapy if it's available in your area. Been a big help for me. Hope things keep getting better. 😊
This is reality!!!
My Narcissist husband got to a point that he could not preform anymore?
He had developed Peronies Disease
He had been a Serial Adultor for a very long time. Maintaining multiple partners! He also was diagnosed with HPV. CANCER OF THE THROAT ....
DIED IN 2022. I REMEMBER A Comments he made a few years before died. He stated he was not the man he use to be......almost apologising for inability to perform anymore. I just laughed. He had a terrible ending...KARMA SERVED. Living an entire life of EMPTYNESS UNTIL THE END!!! VERY SAD!! PITTABLE TO SOMR EXTENT. YOU WERE ABSOLUTELY RIGHT ON ALL POINTS. THANK YOU!!
RECOVERED.....RECONCILED....AND MOVING FORWARD IN N.C..
Thankful to seeing more men standing up to this evil! Women can be narcs too. Again we are describing a person not diagnosing them and mine was a con artist!
I was always told that I needed to go to anger management. As she always gaslighted me.
So much of this resonates. Unfortunately. 😕 Thank you for making these videos. I feel validated in my experience. I needed this today to remind me of why I deserve so much better than how I've been treated for so many years, especially after giving so much, always being made to feel my best was never good enough and that I was the problem. I am free from the abuse now. I need to focus on my own needs and my healing as my number one priority.
EIGHT YEARS.
Eight years since he's touched me.
Not a single hug.
Not a pat on the shoulder.
Just....
...nothing.
If you're not married to him. What is still keeping you stuck dear friend😢?
@@bronwynsimons7028Married or not!! 😂 Just LEAVE!
Same,
This content is so enlightening. I’m still stuck in a relationship with my covert narcissist husband but now I can (almost) laugh at the (now) obvious tactics he’s been using for over a decade to belittle me.
Getting stronger by the day 💪
Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at www.rawmotivations.com
We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic, break the bond and empower yourself once more. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
Towards the end after 5 months of no sex. I said this to my wife I need sex. I need loving. She would say to me. I'm going through things. What do you want me to do. Do you want me to lye there like a piece of meet. I said no but I feel we are not connected no more.
I then found out she was having an affair for 2 years. Horrible toxic person. Brilliant video.
i watched part 1 and started to think I was the narcissist....until I got to the end, so I had to come to part 2. and its so spot on with my situation.
My narc husband is so weird that he tells me the only way he’d leave me and leave me alone is if I go out and cheat otherwise he’ll never leave me alone. He cheats and cheats and wants me to come out of character and I won’t, I think about it just so he’ll leave me alone but someone I don’t think it’ll work that way and im not trying to beat myself up because he can’t be an adult and listen that I want a divorce. He’s getting more out of control with behaviors and outbursts though because he knows im getting closer and closer to leaving.
Are u alright?
The one I married told me he was going to break me.... I told him he would never break me..He said I know
This is so true and people are living it every day. The game they play is too fold. They put you on a Pedestal, compliment you, act like they love and are proud of you. Then one day, you become a victim, one who isn't good enough, pretty enough, smart enough and the belittling begins. Then its back and forth. Like a fish caught, then thrown back in. You try harder and harder to be what they want but never quite measure up. They just tapped in to your secret feelings. They had their radar up and spotted you right away like Narcs and Victims do. Both need help!
Did you know when your body doesn't feel safe during sex it shuts down.
Thank you for sharing ths
@@RawMotivations np you're welcome along with everyone else whom reads.
I would literally disassociate during so my mind didn’t have to face the painful reality that my own husband was using me. It’s devastating to think about. I was an object that happened to be there. Nothing more.
@@meeganricketts9449 I did the same.
Did you know that sometimes it's the complete opposite. They use your natural physical biology. Endorphins.
im talking to someone who is using sex to control & manipulate only hes witholding for (various reasons) so glad im healed from a former narc so im noticing these things earlier on to not waste my time.
Thanks you! So much came full circle with this video. Thank you! Glad your on your Path to help your life and those who are around you. Thank you for answering the "call" and making this platform for the Survivors of this type of abuse🙌🏿🦋💪🏿
INTRO TOO L O N G
Boom 💥 the truth 👏👏👏 you just described the story of my 24 years of marriage to my ex narcissist husband. I finally got my divorce. I thank the Lord Jesus Christ son of God for delivering me 🙏 and my family 🙏 and for people like you that tells us how it is. Now I know the truth he never loved me but now I know why my body didn't want nothing to do with him. I felt a sense of release when he was out my life. Praises to the most high God is the greatest 🙏🙏🙏
Praise be to God that you were delivered from your ex narc husband. I pray that one day I will also be delivered from this toxic marriage relationship. I just don't know how to leave.
My ex made me feel like I had an unusual high libido which made me question myself. Before him I had a high sex drive but being with him and not getting my emotional needs met I felt like my inner goddess died. If only I knew that he was having an affair which lasted our entire relationship!
And no he wasn’t that good. In fact he was insecure about his size lol if u know what I mean!
I’m having toxic withdrawals but I’ll make it! Never turning back!
Oh man, this sounds like my husband to a T. But I am stuck and dont have proof of an affair but highly suspect he cheat and has cheated throughout our marriage. I get UTI infections EVERY time I have sex with him….so I try to avoid it as it is unfulfilling to begin with….then having to deal with the pain of infection is not worth it at all.
When we were first married, my husband called me a nymphomaniac/slut. Then, when I pulled away, he got mad and tried to guilt me into sex “the Bible says…” Then, it became, for several years, me feeling like a blow-up doll that supplied a hole.
For the most part, the sex is amazing and he [almost] always makes sure I’m done. But I wonder with all the back and forth, is it his pride that he does that or does he really care?
When we were first married, my husband called me a nymphomaniac/slut. Then, when I pulled away, he got mad and tried to guilt me into sex “the Bible says…” Then, it became, for several years, me feeling like a blow-up doll that supplied a hole.
For the most part, the sex is amazing and he [almost] always makes sure I’m done. But I wonder with all the back and forth, is it his pride that he does that or does he really care?
I was blamed for silent treatment the last 2 years of a 19 year marriage. I later noticed my body was doing self protection. I became so stressed I got autoimmune psoriasis on my hands. I was torn between what i thought was a life of love, and the realization after all those years she was fuggin with me. I remember the look in her eyes when she realized I could see her. Found she had been "keeping in touch" with a married man for all of our marriage. She full blown cheated when I traveled to take care of my mother after her stroke. I was juggling so much I was losing my hair. She was homemaker our entire marriage. Raised 3 children and her daughter from previous. She nuked the whole family. Introduced her friend to my 14 year old son one week I was away, told my son he couldn't sleep on Daddys side of bed and had to sleep on couch. Slept with the married man a bed I built by hand. My son was traumatized. She told him it was none of Daddys business. I filed for full custody immediately. I have custody and rights to my boys now. Ages 14 & 5. It's been so traumatic. My hands still haven't healed. She never had remorse.
Funnily enough I developed psoriasis and fibromialga while living with a narc. I didn't realise the stress and anxiety from the relationship was the cause of it. Been in another relationship with a narc and developed polymialga, pain throughout my whole body and lost my enthusiasm for life. We recently separated and im hoping to regain my strength, my health and my emotional well being. Its awful to think they deliberately pull you down emotionally and physically for their own enjoyment.
i’m t
He uses sex as a weapon. He gives it and takes it away at his leisure. But he behaves like he is jealous of me which is weird. I'm afraid he is moved up to trying to hurt me without my knowledge. I'm quietly trying to get proof and leave this relationship. Everytime I try to leave he finds a way to keep me in place.
"A good woman will do this for her man, even when she's not in the mood. If you really loved me, you would get over yourself and just let it happen. I'll be quick anyways." I really did believe that I was the problem, because you know, I'm "damaged goods", too crazy and weird, and no one else loves or wants me if it wasn't for him taking me as "the love of his life".
I can relate to what you've shared. In this last relationship I was in, I thought that I was the messed-up in damaged one, and he was so kind for being with me and being patient with me. But it turned out he was a pathological liar so he was really messed up and he just never admitted to any of his flaws because he needed to be seen as perfect. Now I know to be wary of feeling like damaged goods when I'm with someone. It is probably because they're not being vulnerable and exposing themselves as an imperfect human
He was right. A good woman would do that for her man but you are not my man because we have papers or share a roof. Being my man has actions that go along with that tittle. It requires deep intimacy.
Hi! I need help the videos are so helpful.
It’s a like a light was turned on with these videos. He always hooks me.
I need help get out of this terrible marriage. I’ve been married to my narcissist husband for 25yrs. He is getting worse and demeaning me and our kids don’t even exist to him. I’m done. I know he cheated and I told him that is not acceptable, but he crossed every line I asked him not to do.
Can you please reach out?
Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at www.rawmotivations.com
You're explaining my life to a T my narc stopped touching me the day I had my daughter 9 yrs ago. Im sure hes cheated lots of times, and ive been loyal I want out but cant afford to leave. But I legit feel like you recorded conversations in my home. Everything is my fault, I know hes got new supply cause hes treating me horribly, I lost my job so hes using her for what I used to provide. Im in a living hell.
I'm sorry to hear that you're going through such a challenging situation. It's not easy to feel trapped in a relationship where you're being mistreated and unable to leave due to financial constraints. Remember that you are not alone, and there are resources and support available to help you navigate this difficult situation.
I've been there. It will only get worse. I pray you find peace. I had to move in with my sister and never looked back. I left when my daughter was 1 month old
@@TinasEZrecipesthank God you escaped with your daughter and your life-not everyone does. And you're right about it only getting worse if she chooses to stay. That's when "accidents" start to happen if they're not already physically abusing you and breaking and/or killing your things, pets, plants etc.
Thanks for doing another segment on this! It explained things a little bit more. I love that book btw...
Do some coverts literally say; "There's always something wrong (with you!)" ?? I had multiple autoimmune conditions so did he, but he told me to "suck it up". He got angry I was always sick or tired.
Though many years have passed I am still left feeling like the villian.
I wish this was around 20 years ago... I just learned this year I married a covert, if not malignant, narcissist.
It feels like you are speaking directly to me about my 6 year relationship. We are engaged, not married, but we have a 4 year old and a 6 month old together. I know I need to get out but I literally can't.
Amen we Forget a lot of what happens but we know we feel it
I have used those exact words that I did not feel safe with him. Little did I know that was why I viewed myself as an "under performer".
I exposed my covert narc wife. She's trying soooo hard to paint me as the abuser because I react to her incessant narcissistic behavior. It's pretty sad.
how are u doing now? hope u are able to manage your reactions towards that
@@RawMotivations horribly. I've acted in ways that are not like me at all.
I’m nearly 2 years separated and he’s still trying to make me feel not good enough always moving the goal post
Sex was not good ever
I’m finally detaching and see things for what they were he did the angry and calm after he provoked me and I would react
I hate him
Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at rawmotivations.com/one-on-ones
I'm done with sex! Leaving sex behind has helped me gain back personal and emotional space. Sex was good when it was offered but it only added to the confusion in the relationship giving a false sense of intimacy.
I often felt in bed having sex, Ok it felt good, but whereas before because I trusted him I felt it in my heart and soul and in my being, I couldn't risk feeling like that with him so I DIDN'T feel it that way. Part of my spirit died when he messed up my mind with threats of infidelity. It'll be a long time before I put my trust in someone again. 🍒
Please continue speaking about this subject. As a teenager I was a rape survivor who was attacked by an ex-boyfriend I was ending an exploitive relationship with, for the sake of embarking on a new relationship with a seemingly gentleman-like, kind, warm, committed young man. Once I disclosed the attack (that occurred when I attempted to sit down with the ex and respectfully conclude the relationship), the new gentleman-like young man did not at-all see me as having had something horrific happen to me, but he saw it as something I had permitted, and which infringed upon his relationship with me. He responded like HE had been the one compromised. I did everything I could, to protect him from the effects of my having been attacked. I was diminished in my own eyes and his response served to further diminish me. In time I began to experience a lot of flashbacks with this gentlemanly boyfriend that I had for 7 years. It was like my body just shut down I didn't understand why. And I worked very hard to try to heal. And for those 7 years he presented as a very caring guy but I began to see slowly that he was extremely, subtly, punishing me within the sex act and in other ways that I later recognized were extremely low-key and covert throughout the relationship. I had a dream, and eventually I told him that I sensed with him that our relationship was like he and I walking through a forest together and my suddenly realizing that I've been mauled on my arm and wondering where the injury came from and asking him "did you see anything"? To which he responded no. And then it was like I continued to walk through the forest of our relationship with him and again I would see that I'd been painfully mauled on some part of my body and I would ask him "did you recognize or see anything that's injuring me that's harming me"? And he would respond no and continue to walk with me slowly through the forest; and I told him that I had gotten this sense or a dream that had told me that HE was the one who was mauling me.... That HE had been the unrecognized monster. (concealing antagonism, envy, resentment towards me that he inflicted in a manner so as to assure it would not be recognized, and so that the relationship and it's benefits to him would continue). I now more clearly see that he encouraged the continuation of our relationship while persisting in this never-ending retaliatory cycle of punishment towards me. Needless to say as a survivor of assault this would have been tremendously injurious and harmful to my mental health, the opposite of comforting, encouraging or healing, which is what I thought he had been in my life. Actually it was gaslighting and devaluing. Like being starved to death by a very gracious host.
Only now as an older adult am I able to Iook back at that relationship and begin to truly realize that this "great guy" who I just couldn't seem to grow with, was actually gleaning pleasure and satisfaction from my pain. Pain that he very likely was deliberately inflicting. Pain that was interfering with my healing in recovery which I believed incorrectly that he wanted. Thank you for these posts. Please continue them. This is very valuable, scarcely acknowledged or discussed information.
I'm happy to hear that you're finding our content valuable! I'd like to extend an invitation for you to join our free masterclass. In it, we'll explore methods for breaking free from toxic relationships. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.
@4:25 WOWWWWW
I can totally relate.
No safety and trust worst vibe imaginable and discovered the narcissist is a malignant sadist too I promised myself this person is never ever stepping in my house
My thankfully now ex partner, justxwanted things done to himself, and a lot, wouldn't recipricate, didn't want me to feel pleasure, it was just about him. When i had cancer, and a mastectomy, he rejected me. After i couldn't take anymore abuse, i chucked him out, found out he'd been cheating. I didn't know what he had been doing to me until i saw someone at the Domestic Abuse and Safety Unit. It all made sense, but 12 years, plus he's told anyone that will listen, all the violent things he did to me, i did to him, and there are so many people believing him.
Another area in my relationship that I felt it was my fault. If I knew then what I know now!!
this is why im still single most people now a days are all about themselves including during sex. no connection
It was never enough he was horrible specially when we first had our daughter he’s very inconsiderate man evil
Hope you are healing!
He did what i asked him but half effort so that it wudnt be as pleasurable as it shud have been and then went back to what he wanted to do.
We never felt good enough and then we’re still trying to be in good enough I mean everything from years of therapy to physical change in our bodies too or how we dress, which is ironic, because he always complain that I didn’t need to dress nice, or do any of that stuff he love me for who I was. But then later change to I like the way you look, but I don’t like who you are!!!!! Then they tear apart your looks too and very insidious ways by looking at other women, making comments about their bodies, even in front of their children!!!!!
which book is this you're reading from please?
Debbie Mirza: The Covert Passive Aggressive Narcissist
@@SAM-od7oh thank you
My ex narc we started out married at 55 and her 45 sex was nearly every night it was honestly wearing me out. I was more stressed from the control she demanded that at the time I bought her load of crap that a husband should do this and do that by that I mean she devalued me and my body often didn’t want to perform. Sex with her felt like she wasn’t a person but a woman thing. Maybe it’s because I was shut down from the constant devaluing I don’t know. But I think it was her too she would say “where do you want me?” It wasn’t said sexual at all more like “where do you want to hang the picture?” That’s exactly how she would say it. She was raped at 15 as her first sexual experience so I figured the strange sex stuff was because of that and could be to be fair. But what was weird on our first couples counseling she started bragging to the counselor that we have sex every night. She had never been to counseling and I guess thought she was going to impress the counselor. Sex with her was as strange as the relationship there was never no real communication. I often told her I felt like there was no us.
What I dont get is why?
Did they learn it?
They all have the same indicators. What is the pattern here?
For my husband’s situation it was learned by his father when he was young(watched spousal abuse), high school settings are gross mingling settings for teens, then he grew up watching porn so it became an addiction, led to a threesome I wasn’t invited to with the neighbors. It’s social standards dropping. Culture-less and sex driven. All you get is excuses. One day I’ll unstick myself from his love bombing and the fact he took my virginity.
@@Speaktruthordontspeak what would you tell your best friend if they were going through the same thing?
Would you let your daughter date someone like your husband?
That's all it took for me to realize it was over and have the courage to leave my first marriage. I got into counseling simply because I knew something was wrong but didn't know what.
If my daughter got involved with someone like him, they'd never find the ( his) body.
I would tell my best friend you are loved and you don't deserve this.
In truth if he's stepping outside the marriage, you have no marriage. The trust is gone.
I'm not sure about witnessing anything , perhaps learned behavior from Dad or Mom?
My brothers.were coddled and could do no wrong. I was the scapegoat. My dad was considered "the bad guy " and mom was the constant victim.( Along with my brothers of course). I was neglected and blamed, even when I wasn't involved.
I would be told to do.something by mom and when dad got mad about it I got lectures and beatings from them both.
I came out normal ( as much as possible) but my brothers are both jail birds who made.my mother work until she dropped dead.from.supporting them.
I left a long time ago with very little.contact. I was continually blamed even though I didn't live near them or talk to them hardly.
I don't.understand the nature of it.
It's like they were never told."no, stop throwing fits."
The first time someone so much as raises the subject of sex; and I'm out the door, into a cab and down the road before that sentence has been completed. Everyone looking for love, sex and relationship is narcissistic, toxic and to be avoided. Be alone and self-sufficient. You'll live a longer, healthier and happier life.
lol. You are so right!
I hope you find everything you're looking for in the decision you made for yourself.
I’m stuck… I don’t know how to get out
I'm stuck too. I've been in a relationship with a narcissist for six years with two kids, and I want to get out, but I have no plan. I don't know how to leave. I just can't submit to being sexually used anymore. I can't take it anymore. 😭
Intros don’t always need to be 3 min long.
Repost - New ones aren't sorry about hat.
❤
I told him I don't want to have sex with him no more cause he doesn't make me feel happy. It always have Tobe him what he wants all the time I live with for 4 years soppusely we are just friends with benefits he always put me down. It really hurts and sçared.im crying right now don't know what todo I'm tired I need to leave him and take my dog with me. He use to come and see me after work and waseven call in at work just to stay with me we use todo all crazy fun thingd and happy spending time.
with me all the time he know doesn't just egnore me and treats me bad and shows he doesn't care now he tells me I'm fat and need to lose weight.
Sex was/is great. When we were together he did not touch me for 8 years.
Then he discarded me. A month later he came onto me. I gave in. He had withheld for so long.
Now he comes to my bed at least 3 times a week.
He tell
Sorry to hear that, hope you are doing well. It can be pretty tough to be in those situations.
Love the content but hate the 3 min introductions
👍
But I'm definitly going to take the the the disability and the abuse because I really just my anxiety PTSD horrible I actually wake up in the middle of the night screaming yelling at and I have always I have really bad psychosis sometimes and I don't know when is going to come it's usually pretty bad when he's around when he calls cuz I have a Goa when he's I don't buy do fine when he's like when he doesn't call but when he starts to call and he does this a hole like he's like hey come and you know come see me and you know whatever and then as soon as I'll get there and he'll ice me out and go cold and then I'll I'll go through a couple of days of like of messaging him freaking out because of the the trauma Bond so this is my last one and he won't get me again but he enjoys watching go to the mental anguish and the distress that causes me. And all he I just learned that he gets off on that those days that I'm I'm blowing up and I thought I was I was at source of narcissistic supply his his emotional supplies. I wasn't asexual supply checked up with his girl and he has sex with anyting that's walking and I'm just thinking about back to the woman that he met and what I had to offer and now what I what this what I look like and what I am and the five years that he took for me and all that the house the money that my confidence I have brain damage from the abuse I have, I have reactive abuse and definitely experienced a trauma Bond pretty bad and then ptsd but I've experienced through this whole process
What drove you to becoming a person with NPD? I appreciate this video, but I still believe in the good of my pwNPD. There’s a reason they do this, and it’s not because they’re evil to the core. It’s because their needs were not met as children. And it shatters my heart.
The problem is that they never grow up and never move past it and they are always only the broken child who only knows selfish childish behavior