Tana and Brooke unpack their childhood trauma together.. - Ep. 82
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- Опубликовано: 3 май 2024
- On this episode of the Cancelled podcast Tana and Brooke breakdown on their childhood traumas after Tana’s mom makes a surprise visit while she’s at her poker tournament.
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Not Tana having her feet censored 😂
Omg I thought I was just losing my eyesight. Lmao
lmao right not for free
@@christina9721 I’m over here thinking it’s because her feet are usually black underneath but maybe that’s why 😂
Sis is in her bag and I love it
So funny
Being disowned by my own parents, your conversation made me emotional 💔 It’s clear how much healing, therapy, and processing you’ve both done in regard to your parents- I’m a firm believer that family is chosen! I’m so happy you have each other & people who stepped up to fill the void your parents left. Thank you so much for this episode! 🫶🏼
Very well said, I couldn't agree more! Sending (((healing vibes))) your way!
Beautifully said. Love you hyram! You fixed my skin lol
omg didn’t expect hyram in the comments 🖤 love this crossover. and beautifully said!
Awwww King ❤
always knew you were a real one ✊
tana saying, “I’M TANA’S MOM!” was so powerful. great episode. ❤
Was so symbolic of her whole life.
Soooo powerful
"we dont know what to talk about"....continues to make the best episode of Cancelled to date
indeed
This vulnerability and willingness to talk about real shit is hands down the reason why the Cancelled podcast is so successful and why many listeners find relatability in the content
Agreed!! 🌻
Exactly!
it feels more human than any other podcast i know
100%!
"im tanas mom" broke my heart, youre so strong
Urgh same! My eyes filled with tears!
That made my heart hurt ;( she is very strong
“I’m Tana’s mom. Deborah is Tana’s mom. Brooke is Tana’s mom.” This brought me to tears-Tana put to words what I think so many people have been trying to for centuries. Tana you deserve your flowers for how incredibly well-spoken you are
I’m constantly so impressed by Tana’s emotional intelligence, maturity and wisdom when she talks about her situation with her parents. Tana, you’re incredible ❤
This is sooo big for Brooke, she treads so carefully when talking about her mum... I hope she's ok, this would've been such a release ❤
she’s said before that her mom watches her stuff, it makes me sad that she protects her mom’s feelings over her own it seems.
@@liljo9088well it’s difficult, her mum was an addict
I think it’s so sweet how Makoa reacted by immediately grabbing Tana away, and understanding that she needed to be away from that etc. He’s sooooo good to her 🥹
25:46 when tana said “I am not rewarding the behavior” I FELT that. Thank you for speaking on this and being vulnerable. Can’t wait to read your book 🫶🏼
Brooke sobbing was actually such a eye opening experience. Just watching someone finally realize that they aren't the problem, and all of their feelings inside their head are VALID. Feeling like you're the only one going through something is mental torture. I'm happy she was able to relate to someone else 🤍 Yay, so adulting and healing childhood traumas, I love this for you both 💕
I think anyone who can sit in front of a camera and talk about anything so personal and vulnerable is one hell of a strong person❤
It’s been up for 2 minutes 🤣🤣🤣🤣
@@crystallily4640They do it weekly
For real. I don’t even have my name or face in anything online cause I’m so scared of people 🥰
@crystallily4640 and here you are just like us.
@@crystallily4640what does that have to do with anything lol
love how y'all went from crying about your relationships with your mothers to discussing dinosaurs to calling some girl out for being a narc. best podcast ♡
Don't forget about the vibrator convo! 😂
I wanna know who the narc is 👀
girlhood
yessss lmao we gotta find out who the narc is ‼️
i feel sad that brooke can’t fully talk about what she’s going through because she’s still in contact with her parents.. it just feels like she’s hurting so badly. and i’m so glad tana can fully articulate how she’s doing and how far she’s come with setting boundaries for herself 🥲 love you girls so much
Following this episode Debbie being a pod guest and running through old stories of Tana and Imari would be such a cute complete ep. I know it would probably never happen, for Debbie and privacy sake but WOULD LOVEEE to see it. Their relationship is so special and comforting
the full quote of "blood is thicker than water" is actually "The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb" which means the family we choose can be stronger than the family we're born to I think you guys are a great example of that
You watch Shallon Lester, huh?
Unfortunately that claim is not true, there are no sources supporting it. But I love to look at it this way, too :)
Haha @@brionnachristine4674
@@verenaw.8376this quote is from 12th century German texts. Much like the Bible, these texts have been translated in many ways. So, there IS proof. You just have to look for it, and there is some conflicting evidence you must sift through. Hope that helps!
some guys just made that up, theres no evidence that that’s the original phrase. but either way, all sayings that are seen as “true” are just words some guys made up. so it doesnt matter anyways!
This is BY FAR the best episode so far. The opening convo, the way Brooke compared water to drywall, the vulnerability of the trauma, the banter, LOVE IT.
Not to take away from the depth of this episode but the blurred feet added a nice comic relief lmao
Brooke: “What’s wrong with me? - something crazy” *stares into void as existential crisis starts to begin* I FELT that deep in my chest, Brooke 🥺❤️ we all love you!! Just saw you guys in Chicago yesterday. Amazing show!! Love your guys’s vulnerability on this podcast. Keep it up!! 👑
How was it? I wanted to go, but didn’t have anyone to go with!
❤
the way makoa reacted also to go find and like shield tana is so telling of how he feels about tana and incredibly thoughtful
I really hope he’s the one for her she honestly seems so happy and seeing them in videos he seems like he really does love her
@@nikeleclemente8602hopefully she allows herself to continue to be happy.
@@anubisthacutest4752that’s exactly it. I hope she knows she’s worthy of and deserves a love like this
this was such a good episode i personally needed. when tana said "I AM tana's mom!" i broke ;(
Brooke expressing her fragile & vulnerable feelings hits on a personal level for so many of us and is so appreciated - more than words can say 🥹🙏
Oh man full body fucking chills “IM TANAS MOM” “WHERE WERE YOU WHEN I NEEDER YOU” we’re all bawling with yall. My parents split when I was 13 and my mom moved out. I was left to fend for my teenage self while taking care of my broken alcoholic dad. Thank you for talking about this stuff.
Same for me mom left at 11, ppl don’t understand yeah I had my mom growing up but these adolescents young teen years are almost what matter most
Tana still being able to feel sadness and compassion for her mother's feelings shows how she's nothing like her parents and has byfar the biggest heart in the world. Tana deserves the most unconditional Love that life can give. ❤
Not the universe sending me this episode exactly when I needed it. Thank you both.
“I’M Tana’s Mom” 😭 😭 😭
so powerful. i never felt so proud of Tana
This podcast episode was HEAVY. The realest and most vulnerable episode to date. I could not stop crying and I wanna thank Tana and Brooke for opening up, being honest and getting personal with us. Also a HUGE thank you to Debby and her husband (I don’t know how to spell his name) for taking Tana in and loving her like she was their own child. We wouldn’t have the Tana we have today, if it weren’t for you two. So proud of you all ❤
from someone who also was raised by narcissist parents, i can relate to tana sooo much that it hurts. that constant back and forth of "should i reach out to them?" "should i give them another chance?". however, i realize that if i talk to them again it will only bring back toxic energy and i know they're the same as they've always been, and i don't have time for negativity that they will bring. it's so hard, but i feel relieved accepting the fact that i may never speak to my parents again. part of the reason why i love tana so much is because her story is so relatable to me. ❤
This was so heavy. It takes a lot of guts to open up about deep childhood trauma. My heart breaks for both girls)’:
It was the adderall hittting
agreed
It doesn't take guts, people overshare and emotionally trauma dump all the time
@@p.c1892 they you post for millions to see.
@@p.c1892 on a podcast with millions of subs idk about that
When Tana was talking about her blood mom and said “where were you when I NEEDED you” puts it all into perspective. I am grateful to see Tana healthy, happy and thriving. She really did it on her own and it’s refreshing to see her leaning into this new era. The vulnerability on this episode is much appreciated and inspiring. Love you cancelled girlies 💫💜🌱🦋✨
The narcissistic abuse / no contact / just this whole conversation about the surrounding was so refreshing/emotional/relatable. Feel free to get deep and cry like this any episode girlies we love you both
Hearing Tana talk about her parents and her mom showing up made me cry. I went no contact with my narcissistic father 5 years ago and he does the same things like show up places I am. I know how hard it is and to hear her talking about it broke my heart. Love u tana
When Tana said that her mom will probably die longing for a relationship with her is sad but at the same time Tana longed for a relationship with her mom as a child and a few years as an adult is more sad! I feel like this podcast was one of their best episodes yet...must of been very therapeutic and a major release of emotions for both Tana and Brooke that have been bottled up for so long! I see SO MUCH growth from these 2 amazing, strong, beautiful, awesome women! 💜💪❤
YES GIRLS. Sober vibes will NEVERRR make you boring. So proud of you two
As someone who has always struggled with having a toxic relationship with her mom, this episode had me BAWLING 🥺. I’m pregnant now and it breaks my heart knowing that parents have all the power to give their kids so much trauma & choose to do exactly that. Here’s to breaking our generational curses and rewriting history as being the greatest moms ❤️
So, I know you guys have said multiple times "our fanbase is 90% women/gays and 10% men that are dragged into it"
I have 4 sisters, im the oldest of 5, straight dude who listens to yall talk. Ive listened to Tana since.... I was in highschool? im 29 this year. Youve always reminded me of two of my sisters and when I cant be there with them, listening to you guys has always been like listening to my sisters. We had a pretty big shit show of a childhood and all we had was eachother, a father that went to jail and an emotionless mother who spent most her time working just to keep lights on, then coming home and treating us like it was our faults for being born. We all had to look out for eachother, open books all the way around no matter what it was, but as adults the closest thing I have to some of the conversations wed have is listening to you guys, and hearing yall upset 100% made me upset too. Just know yall arent restricted to what you think it is, youve also managed to reach us straight dudes who just respect the fuck outta yall.
the emotional range of this podcast is so special. we went from an open and honest conversation about family to contemplating the existence of different species. the DUALITY!!
one might even say.. dichotomy 😏
Tana talking about wall gripping $h!ts is my favorite part of this podcast… I love the aggressive shit lore
Girl I’m-😂😂😂😂😂🤣
It’s repulsive she needs probiotics enzymes and a doctor
The aggressive shit Lore!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣 LMAO!
Me too, as an IBS girly I love her realness 😂
lmao SO REALLL cuz damn me and that toilet have a love hate relationship
If a girl acts like she dislikes you, hooks up with you, and then is out to get you, that girl wants to be you, she's jealous cause she can't be you so she tries to bring you down. This was SUCH a good episode btw, I teared up at the I'm Tana's Mom part
Brooke saying “i would love to touch on that” as she is crying was hilarious 😂the way y’all can laugh through the pain and your outlook on life is so inspiring ❤️
Brooke I can tell you needed to hear everything Tana said in that moment. I don’t think it’s just about tour. I hope that you can heal and grow from whatever you’re going through.
the way i ran
fr I teleported
So fast
omg me too
literally gasped, clicked, saw ur comment, and replying .
RAN
I want to let you both know that as someone who has shared similar experiences in their childhood....I really appreciate the vulnerability that you both shared. You guys helped us out here. I feel like we're not in the life boat alone! Thank you
this episode really helped me feel like someone understands my experience. thank you for being vulnerable & validating for those who have extremely hard relationships with their parents.
brooke amber schofield i am so proud of you for opening up to us. we love you. you are so important and valued
THIS
This❤
Tanas feet being blurred is hilarious
Tana & Brooke this episode made me so emotional right alongside you both, LOVE you both and you two are so inspiring don’t think you have to have it all figured out either!! 😭
Tana thank you for being so vulnerable and sharing this with us. I can see the hurt in Brooke’s eyes for you and trying not to cry. You both are so good talking about funny stuff… but THIS is why I love you guys. Thank you so much
take a shot every time tana says “big one” and “lore”. but seriously i relate to you so much on the mom stuff it’s not easy but im glad we are strong enough to put down those boundaries.
I’m only 28 minutes in and I just completely feel for Tana. I know it’s a long shot you’ll see this but Tana, I am so proud of you. If someone cannot understand or respect your boundaries that is confirmation that they should be established in the first place. It took me 25 years to finally cut off my parents. I did so recently in February. The reason wasn’t even for myself at this point, it was for my daughter. It took having a baby to make the vision clear and my daughter healed me. I am so happy you get to start the healing process sooner before you have a baby. You will be a great mother one day! It’s hard what we went through, but I would do it 10000 times over just to know what I know and know that my daughter will never have to.
💚💚💚
so happy for you seriously
wishing happy days to you and the new family 🤍🤍 super proud of you stranger
Thank you for your support 💖
i’m really really happy for you. I’m going through something similar with my dad. Feeling like your parents don’t care about you is such a mind fck.
Thank you for being real, for not creating a false image, and for being so raw. This episode most definitely healed so many people… were so proud of both of you ❤️
as a fan of tana’s for SOOOO many years, i cried the second she started to choke up. i’m so proud of her 🩷
I’ve been wanting them to talk about this. A lot of us are raised with less than ideal parents.
Tana is a successful hardworking loving person. If she can overcome her traumatic childhood, so can others. This is why Tana and Brooke are queens.
as a long time fan doing my skincare routine, I HAD to pause when tana said MAKOA SAID "your mother is here" so I could watch when i'm done and completely focused. oh my god
Babe, same.
literally just paused while doing skincare to watch when focused
It’s the feet being blurred for me 👏😅💰 Love you gal’s and mad respect for being so open with your viewers.
You guys have no idea the impact you have on so many lives ✨ long live Cancelled!
I did the exact same thing! LOL!
I was washing dishes, dried my hands to pause, finished the last dish and then took a seat 🪑
I've held onto my best friends childhood trauma for almost 25 years and still havent came out with it. I admire you both for being so open with yours . Thank you.
Feeling immensely grateful for this episode. Growing up and going through trauma is deeply impactful to almost everyone, and getting older and experiencing not just PTSD, but post traumatic GROWTH has been such a formative time. Thank you for being open about things, it makes these things easier to talk about ♥️
15:02 NOT TANA YELLING AT THEM TO STOP AND THEY ACTUALLY DID 😭😭😭❤️
Just finished packing a bowl with some food next to me. Im living rn
Omg same 😊
@@ariparty76yall about to cryyyy
Same bestie
It’s the little things 🥰
this was such an impactful episode. you both were so open and honest, but you also kept it light hearted by having a small laugh at unhinged times. this podcast is so unmatched to any others. thank you both this was such an incredible episode.
This was so emotional, the vulnerability and the fact that you guys put this on the internet willingly this is literally the reason why i love you guys so much theres no beating around the bush you guys keep it real, i just wanted to say that both of you are so strong ❤️
brooke, red faced and teary eyed, saying "i'm so sad i'm not getting the boob attention anymore :(" was incredible. no but seriously, your conversation about family relationships and going no contact made my heart ache and i'm so glad you guys have found the love and security from your found families and each other. having to mourn how your childhood should've been is so incredibly hard and the way both of you can still find so much sympathy for your abusers is very telling of where you are in life. i hope you continue to find peace and community with other no contact people, and that brooke gets to that place of not feeling so guilty too. incredible episode, top 10 of all time for sure 💖
tana, i’m going through something so similar with my parents right now and it is so nice to hear someone talk about how conflicting it is. my dad stopped
talking to me for years and now he calls me when he is lonely and tells me he calls suicide hotlines to try to guilt me into reaching out more. he was never there for me as a kid & left me with my mom who had no clue what she was doing. raising yourself is so so hard.
Head up girl I promise you have this 💖
I’m so sorry that you go through that. No one deserves that kind of manipulative behavior. My mom has done the same and it is so painful and anxiety inducing. Sending you so much love and healing ❤
Crying so much I just felt so alone for so long being no contact and being able to have you guys speak on something that has been so hard for me just makes me so grateful for this podcast. Thank you so much.
i LOVE this open vulnerable episode. these deep topics are so relatable to so many of us and, idk about anyone else but, sometimes the things you guys say truly help me work through it all
tana and brooke deserve the world and i stand by that
my dad has always been a “woe is me” “i had it worse then what i put you through” type of person and is always begging for a relationship with me but refuses to apologize for the past. Listening to this makes me feel so seen:) i love you girls
Blows my mind that they demand access to you with no accountability. Like they are entitled to treat you badly and you're just supposed to take it. Not to mention unable to extend empathy past their own traumas.
My husband’s dad is like that and it makes me sad that he feels so guilty cutting off his parents. They are both so selfish and put him through more than he deserved.
i love how real you two are, you help so many people with how vulnerable and honest you are about the things you've been through! thank you
This episode meant a lot to me because my relationship with my dad is similar to Tana’s situation & my relationship with my mom is similar to Brooke’s. Made me feel understood & heard, like a little therapy session 🤍 thank you for being open & vulnerable
Little Tana and little Brooke would be so proud of you both for standing up for yourselves. Always praying for you guys 🙏🏼
Amen to that....🙏
Psalm 97 31:23: Ye that love the Lord, hate evil: he preserveth the souls of his saints: he delivereth them out to the hand of the wicked.
Tana and Brooke's parents must of denied the Lord's delivery and accepted the Devil's delivery instead!
Those big tears, the shock, the sadness, the anger is grief and it's a natural process that we have to go to. Please remember grief is just love with nowhere to go. The depth of the emotion's you feel is the amount of love you have to give. You two are doing great and have so many people that love, admire and cheer you on
Thank you so much for always being so honest and open about everything that you guys are going through. Binge eating is one of my biggest battles right now and to hear your guys talk about it is very re assuring that I’m not alone, and everything with your mom and family because I can also relate to that so much. Seriously, thank you guys please don’t ever change.
Love you guys so much, was crying with you as Im in your tour merch. Cannot believe how far you guys have come. Thank you for being an outlet and safe space for people with similar situations
It’s so wild to me how Tana has really been doing this since the dawn of her channel… like solo podcasting doing her story times. So full circle. Gahhh love you both so much.
OMG I had the same realization!!! when she began the story about her "mother" with "i'm about to talk about something I don't know if I wanna talk about" I immediately thought of her other intros and realized "we've been longing for 'old tana', meaning sit down storytime videos, but this angel has evolved into co-hosting a storytime podcast. this is new tana :)"
@@aferfera 😭😭😭 she deserves the world
this ep brought me to tears. as someone with a distant relationship with my parents, it was cathartic to hear you guys talk about this topic. I was a child of physical, verbal, mental and emotional abuse, and as I grew into an adult, my parents tried to gaslight me into thinking none of it ever happened. it traumatized me and was the root of anxiety and depression. I’ve done a ton of healing, and as an almost 30 year old, it still jerks on me from time to time that I have never and will never have an emotional connection with the people who created me. Thanks for being so vulnerable ladies 🫶🫶🫶
🫶🏻
I have literally NEVER related to two people more than I do you guys during this podcast. This made me emotional and it also made me realize that i’m not alone while feeling this way. Thank you both for showing us your emotional and vulnerable side, I appreciate it and i truly needed it ❤️
Tana! I remember the first video I seen of you when we were teenagers, you were talking about your home life and I was shocked how similar our lives were. I’m grateful for your videos and you willingly sharing your life. It has helped me so much!
INCREDIBLE episode. Anyone who's been following Tana since the 2016 era can see the growth, and it's insane.
I just attended my fiancee's cousin's wedding and had to embarrassingly leave because I started crying at the father daughter dance after my dad died last year. I cannot tell y'all how bad I need someone else's trauma dump rn to disconnect, thank you guys so much for this.
don’t feel embarrassed! thank you for sharing this and being vulnerable
Babes I’m glad that you got this connection and got to release. I think it’s sad that the trend is now to feel ashamed of relating to influencers or trauma dumping bc it’s “parasocial”. But it is healing and nice to connect with someone like this.
it’s not embarrassing to feel your feelings love! grief isn’t linear, it can hit you again at any time❤️
Tysm y'all 🥹 ngl this episode helped more than I even expected it to, my dad is a carbon copy of Tana's dad (couldn't sue me for millions, but consistently picked up my life saving prescriptions from pharmacies to sell them and shit like that), and he died before I ever got to make my peace with him. Hearing Tana talk about how she realizes some day they'd die and coming to terms with the fact that she doesn't need last words was really moving, and really made me rethink some things. My fiancees family took me in the same way Imari's family did Tana, right down to buying me Christmas presents as one of their kids, and as much as I feel resentment towards my parents for never being parents, I'm trying to get to Tana's place of just loving the people with her and leaving behind people who are bad for her.
Just seeing and hearing about her life helps me feel so much less alone, and I may not be a millionaire but the fact that she's found peace and happiness gives me so much hope 😭
Got me crying watching these now😭 love you two and the vulnerability on a platform like this is so inspiring frl
Thank you both so much for being vulnerable with us. As much as I wish you both weren’t hurt by people who were supposed to just love you and be there for you. More of us relate than you guys understand. Family is the people you choose who choose you back. Sending so much love ❤️
dude ever since I cut off my mom at 15 all everyone has ever said to me is "but thats your mom!!"
listening to my 2 favorite influencers relate makes me feel so validated
we do not owe them anything . they are the ones who chose to have children and when something has been broken like that there's no "rekindling" or "reconnectong" its too late
when Tana said people told her they felt bad for her mother (for not being given a second chance to reconcile etc), i literally almost asked out loud "who's gonna feel bad for Tana?"
Tana made a solid point in this episode, if no one showed up for her the way they should have, then she sure as shit owes it to no one to take care of anyone.
Not everyone can come back from a childhood like that, but look at you two. You're killing it and you're healing.
i would just like to say a massive thank you to both of you for opening up about your situations. you have no idea how many people this will resonate with - at the very least, it resonated with me and gave me some peace of mind
thank you for being so open about having narcissistic parents and being manipulated, it really helps me to come to terms with my feelings and not feeling guilty. i really love to hear how you to grew and still are it gives me hope❤
ugh this episode made me cry so much. we’re so lucky to be able to access this level of vulnerability from our idols/role models 🥺the realest
I was FINALLY able to get away from my narcisstic abuser just this past Monday and I’ve been struggling to find things to watch that I can relate to. The way that I NEEDED this. Thank you you ABSOLUTE QUEENS for your vulnerability and openness, you both deserve the entire world sm🫶🏼😭
You should start coloring. I went so deep into coloring when I escaped mine. Along with watching Trish on repeat. Stay strong
I am so proud of you. Sending the biggest hug and so much love your way.
Thank you both for being so vulnerable & sharing something so deep & so hard that not everyone is able to speak openly about. You both are loved & have a family within the people who choose you day in & day out. I choose you both. Xo
I love you guys for being so vulnerable to us. I’ve had major mother issues growing up. It’s not the same but I can relate so hard with you guys. Thank for opening up to us ❤
I don’t personally know you two, but I feel a sense of overwhelming pride and joy when you two get vulnerable. The strength, growth and courage is incredible. Lovely ladies ❤
This podcast was really, really validating. As someone who has had a horrible relationship with my mom from the beginning of my life - I see you Tana. And I feel for you always in that regard. You are so strong for standing by your boundaries and speaking your feelings no matter WHAT ❤ love u girly. They never knew us & they don’t deserve to.
The discussion about your parents is so real Tana and touched me to the core. I have always connected with you on that point and you truly inspire me, watching you be so independent and creating a chosen family has been so important for my own healing. Please keep talking about it if it doesn’t hurt or trigger you to do so because it helps many, especially in our generation. We are far more emotionally intelligent than our parents and with that comes alot of sadness due to the heightened awareness. Love you
The fact that Makoa is so young and grabbed Tana privately to remove her rather than make a scene or fight her mom is such a green flag.
i first started watching tana when we were teenagers, she was still a kid.
her story speaks for itself. she had to act as an adult so young it was noticeable for all of us. i always admired her for smiling and being so strong. joking around, making all of us laugh.
thank u tana and brooke ❤️
Just when I need it the most cancelled is uploaded 🙏🏼
I’m so proud of you guys for being so vulnerable and sharing your emotional growth , you truly are an inspiration Tana n Brooke💕🤧
Tana I am so damn proud of you. I am like ten years older than you and have been here since close to the beginning and have always been cheering for you and have given you a grace due to knowing what it is like to have a narcissistic parent. You have been so damn strong with the nonsense you were dealt, and I am so proud to see where you are at with it now. Wishing you all the love, successful an fulfillment as you continue on your journey!!
Idk why but when I read the title and clicked the video, I really wasn't expecting that first minute LMAO
As a person still struggling with my narcissistic mom this episode made me realize that I'm not alone in this struggle. Thank you for talking about this
One of my favorite episodes in awhile, but for a diff reason. Thank you both for being so vulnerable. It's not easy for you both I'm sure... but so good.
this is exactly what i needed, i just cried with my sister about the most similar parental stuff, i love seeing you guys so vulnerable and raw it helps i love you guys