Longterm - Sex Is Hard (NO pun intended..or maybe it is) feat. Kev On Stage and Mrs Kev On Stage
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- Опубликовано: 5 фев 2025
- Does sex HAVE to get less passionate as time goes on in a relationship? Is it possible to keep that “can’t keep your hands off each other” feeling in a marriage? In this episode we explore these questions and share the depressing/ hopeful truth about the secret to good sex in a long relationship.
DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN ALSO WATCH FULL EPISODES OF LOVERS AND FRIENDS? CLICK HERE TO SEE OUR RUclips CHANNEL / @loversbyshan
Fun fact, falling in love is stressful on the body, but being in love is healthy for the body. When we are falling in love we experience an increase in cortisol, the stress hormone, but studies show that when we develop an attachment to someone oxytocin can actually work to inhibit cortisol production and stress response. That’s why researchers say that true love probably begins when the hormonal cocktail stops working.
So long story short maybe the loss of passion in our sex life as we know it, is not such a bad thing
Meet the guests of this episode!!!
Kevin Fredericks aka KevOn Stage is an actor, stand-up comedian, entrepreneur, podcast developer and host and filmmaker. Kevin is part of a generation of comedians who gained fame online and has accumulated hundreds of millions of views on social media. He is currently on his 3rd SOLD OUT national comedy tour and he is a New York Times bestselling author with his book Marriage Be Hard that he co-authored with his wife Melissa Fredericks who you might know on the internets as Mrs Kevon Stage.
Melissa hosts The Love Hour podcast and is best known for her betterment campaigns and advocacy for self-love.
Together, Kevin and Melissa provide a hilarious and fresh master class on what it takes to build and maintain a healthy and lasting relationship.
Follow KevOnStage:
/ kevonstage
/ kevonstage
kevonstage.com
Follow Kev’s streaming service:
Kevon Stage Studios
Follow Melissa aka Mrs.KevOnStage
/ mrskevonstage
/ mrskevonstage
www.mrskevonst...
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/ @loversbyshan
loversfriendspodcast@gmail.com
Thank you for having us, Shan!
Thank you for being so open. You're really an inspiration.
I didn’t expect you guys to be so open. I enjoyed it and it was also helpful.
This setting, with your outfit, is such a vibe Liss!
You are so beautiful
Great show!!
This was a great time. Thank you for having us!
Great show!!
You guys were amazing, thank you for having come to Shan's podcast and letting us know about you!
This was so good, Kev.
Kev could you answer the 37:33 question Shan asked about"do you get turned on by the parenting version of eachother?" ?
Melissa's answer was so good, and it created an opportunity where y'all poured your wisdom into Shan. But I was curious as to your answer too!
Oh the pleasure was all mine!!
Always great to see a Christian couple talk candidly about sex👏🏾 So glad Kev & Melissa came on
@Joe-I agree I ❤ them period
These two worlds colliding is the collab I never knew I needed 🙌🏾
YES!!!!!!!💯
That part! 💯
That’s exactly what I said!!
They have a collab episode together on the Love Hour as well 🔥
RIGHT?? 😅
Hearing Liss be so candid is WILD! Like who is this woman?!!! Cause Liss used to squirm a little bit at sex talk on camera. Love to see her stepping even more into her Light.
Yeah this ain’t even 2.0 Liss…..she DIFFERENT different! 😍🙌🏾🔥👏🏾❤️😩
…and she’s STILL a Proverbs 31 woman! 💪🏾 #AllTheThings
@@everythingalyb Im telling you!! I'm looking at my phone, like, who is this?!Liss was in command of her own story here. If anything, it's Kevin who was squimish with some questions.
Period! I’m here for her growth! HERE FOR IT!
Absolutely amazing to see her bloom
@@everythingalyb this is giving Liss 3.0! 🥰😎
I am so proud of Melissa! The transparency and vulnerability is on 1,000 especially knowing her journey. Kev too!
Great job!!!
Shan I never knew this- but Christian folks need u to moderate these types of convos! You were so open minded… the convo felt so free and freeing for me ❤
So open minded and genuinely curious. This conversation had all the right ingredients.
YES!
“He over here lying on your podcast Shan.” 😂
Yo Kev face when Shan was telling her story about liking to watch others have sex was HILARIOUS😂 Kev wasn’t ready!
Kevin's explanation (around 28:00) about Melissa 2.0 actually being a RETURN to her pre-marriage powerful self was 💡!! The church needs to work on delivering the message that is possible for a Christian wife to be both empowered and submissive, assertive and yet catering to her husband. 🙏🏾🙏🏾
33:22 Been asking for this from my husband for years. Sent this 2 min clip to him just yesterday and guess what....I was "serviced" and left alone to rest in my orgasmic-ness for the 1st time ever in 12 years 😢. The absolute best I have ever experienced. It's like staying sleep after yoga 🧘🏾♀️ the peace and tranquility. I am so gonna rock his world later!!! Thanks guys for letting me know I'm not the only one who want to feel good and just sit in it once in a while without having to immediately return the favor. This is gonna be my birthday present every year from now on!!!
Around 28-29min when Melissa reflects on the puritanical teachings for women in marriage. She then says Kev's reflection [on her taking charge] is empowering and affirming for her but still hearing that voice saying "girl chill".Phew this resonates so much. I'm not married but the ideology influencing her experience is so relevant. I feel like this is why Beyonce wrote church girl... Those lyrics say so much of this. Thank you for such a fun and insightful conversation. I love Kev and Melissa. 💞
Well said and I completely agree ✨
Yes that is so relevant. And that makes me sad because my research into to the Proverbs 31 woman makes me think of her as a boss.
44:42 ALL OF THIS. The early sex is nothing compared to the sex several years deep into the marriage. The transition to parent hood and all the other life changes we go through - all while growing together, loving and serving one another. It's such a beautiful thing and I'm thankful to experience it with my best friend.
Such a good episode!!!
Awwww 🥹🥰
The hand job to life insurance transition is crazy to me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 And did the OnStages admit to leaving their juices in the church van 😳 😅 DDDDDAAAAANNNNNNGGGGG 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I AM HERE FOR IT ALL 🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬
I love when Liss & Kev are laid back and open like this! So down to earth 💯🎬🎬🎬🎬
As a woman who has been married for 14 years (together 18), I can 100% agree that the sex we have now is so much better than what we had in the beginning. That's a really BIG thing because we had AMAZING sex in the beginning ... like, butterflies in your tummy the next day, GREAT! There is something about KNOWING your partner and unwinding all their new desires while incorporating the old.
Speaking on the Kids bit: I LOVE watching my husband love on his children. Maybe it's because my childhood was so broken but that makes me love and want him more. Lean in to the things that remind you WHY you love him now and why you first loved him and the spark will still continue to burn bright. I don't care if my husband is just making sure I never touch a door or cutting grass ... imma reward him for that later because it speaks to how much he loves me and I love the way he loves me.
What a beautiful post. Thank you for that.
Unwinding their new desires is such a lovely poignant description
Thank you for having Kevin and Melissa.
I love them!
Trying to reply back to everyone but huge thank you for all the love on this episode! Having Mr and Mrs Kevon Stage was a joy!
This was so good!! I think the Ellises (Devale and Khadeen) would be great on this podcast too ❤
Yees!!!
Omg!!! Please 🙏 🙏 🙏 Bring them on..
Yessss💯
Good call. Jared and Shan did feature them in Shan's podcast about Khadeen not wanting sex as often as Devale.
This was my absolute favourite episode thus far !!!!!!! Great job Shan and Kev and Melissa were amazing guests
Shan, who is running your podcast bookings? The guests this season have been STELLAR!
This is the fastest I ever clicked. All of my favorite Podcasters in one place. 😍😍😍❤️❤️❤️🎉🎉🎉🎉 Stage Krew in the building!!!! Of course Shan I adore you!!! ❤️❤️❤️
Stage Krew in the building!!! 🤘🏽🎬🎬🎬🎬
Same!
SAME!!
Indeed!! Stage Krew representing per usual🧡
🎬🦋🎬🦋🎬🦋🎬
SK! 🎬🎬🎬
I met someone while dating who told me they don't enjoy having much sex and I thought I hit the lotto cause me too! 🤣I barely like being touched and so do they. These are important convos to have upfront. It's unconventional but our convos & bond is much deeper because of the less emphasis on sex.
I resonate with this so much. I'm like you but my husband is the opposite and always wants sex and wants to be touched. It's been a big issue in our marriage and we are in counseling b/c of it.
Interesting, I have friends who feel the same way but they have past tramas that plays a part into the why's.
@@nnedichristian6706 Some people just aren’t very sexual, although I’m sure that may be prominent in those with past traumas. I simply prefer an actual connection over a physical act that typically doesn’t mean much to men.
@@inyourdreams444 Why do you say that sex doesn't mean that much to men?
@@rejectionisprotection4448 Well, when you hear it on every podcast from men's mouths directly when the topic comes up and watch how they typically use women as sexual objects, it's not hard to come to this conclusion. When I do have sex, I value that moment therefore, I don't want to share it with someone who can do it freely with no emotion/feelings involved & become another "number" in their list. I've had men tell me personally that sex is just sex to them. I need a connection to even be turned on so that doesn't work for me.
To hear Liss and Kev be so candid was surprising. I loved this. 🎬🎬🎬
Great episode! Seeing Kev and Liss here talking about the journey to liberation in the bedroom within marriage after being taught "sex is bad", is such a necessary conversation to have for the super religious community. Love it!
🦋🦋🦋🎬🎬🎬
I love Kev but that button on his shirt is struggling 😫 😂😂🤣🤣
Watching Kev cringe talking about sex is hilariously ironic! The same man who wrote the renowned c00chie song squirms at the idea of afternoon sex in New York. 😂😂😂 I love these people so much!!! ❤️🎬
Lol thats a Taurus for ya😂we freaks in our comfort zone but prudish in public at times
"Lick me on the outside, lick me iiiiin..." 😂
@@oh_thats_netta2754 I never thought I’d hear that again, now it’s stuck in my head. 😩
@@TamiaPeach It's lived in my head since he sang it! 😂
@@oh_thats_netta2754 😂😂😂😂😂
I’m so happy your sponsor was life insurance, my grandma passed this year and I found out she had a Gerber policy in my name since I was 5yrs old- LIFESAVER that more of the black community needs to take serious. We shouldn’t have to gofundme for funerals when there’s life insurance! To add, my policy is only $12/mo 🥹 PLEASE GET LIFE INSURANCE EVERYONE ❤
I agree , my grandmother passed away a week ago. She had insurance on all us. I will continue the family values as well
Shan is a wonderful interviewer. This was unexpectedly insightful. I think because Kevin is a funny guy, I expected to just be entertained but I got that and much more.
This was beautiful 🥲 I love Shan’s intrigue, Liss’ openness and Kev’s hilarity as always. Y’all have been so instrumental in my sexual health/growth. Finding the right words/actions/ sentiments to express myself over the last 5+ years 🫂 thank you 🙌🏾💓
I THOROUGHLY enjoyed this interview! Love Kev and Liss and how open they are about how their sex life has evolved. They seem to be in a great place right now and that is truly lovely to see.
Never ever ever ever in a million years expected this collab!!! I love Liss and Kev and love Shan too! Can’t wait to watch!
These two were great! Their relationship is clearly so fun-loving and comfortable. And I really relate to Melissa's struggle with her real sexual desires competing against her conditioning of what a woman "should" be like.
I love this so much. Melissa has really inspired me. I relate so much with the lady-like construct during sex. It's definitely a mental challenge to let go of it during sex, and if you don't manage to do it, having sex feels cold and detached. It's truly awful. Thank you for another amazing video.
Oh, so we're coming through with the switch up in the intro! Come on, Liss!!! Yes, make him do it 😂 Seriously though, thank you, Kev and Liss, for being so open and transparent throughout the years! Y'all are helping us and I know it hasn't been easy. {In my Tupac voice} You are appreciated! 🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬
He needs to honor his pledge/coupon book, and I'm gonna need a part 2.
@@musicneurons right! And it better not be 7 years 🤣
🗣We in here!! 🎬🎬🎬 This was so good! It was almost too short! I could have listened to more of where this interview could have gone for hours! Amazing job!!
I love this!!! I didn’t even know you knew about each others’ worlds !! Such an unexpected interview but I love it! 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽
Right!!!
They interviewed Shan on The Love Hour a couple years ago. I appreciate that they know how to add value to each others' platform while being mindful of their audience 😌
I appreciate hearing this informed and honest conversation about sex and marriage, particularly from a person in the relationship who did wait to get married to have sex, and the experiences surrounding learned behaviors and beliefs from religious influence versus finding your own footing with respect to them. 🎬🎬🎬
Thank you!!! Being able to say No is powerful!!! I’m almost 40 with a 20yr old 6yr old and a 3yr old and I have just recently learned to say No!!! You are doing a wonderful job as juggling all hats and doing what is best for you and your family!!! That’s what’s important and it shall all fall in place in time!!! ❤❤❤
Good talk. Shan, I just had my second baby at 42 this year after having a 9 year old. It will get better take your time, you will get your flow in time.
I really enjoy seeing Kev and Liss speaking so freely. Not so conservative.😊💜 #SK 🎬🎬🎬🦋
Shan, this episode was amazing. And I am so happy and proud you're giving yourself some slack with your commitments, because you deserve to rest and do things at your own pace, whatever that pace becomes. You're amazing!!
This was really good. Surprised how open the conversation was, and how squirmish Kev can get about certain sex situations haha! 🎬🎬🎬
24:24 The most mature, insightful conversation of "blue balls" I've ever heard. Its just a patience thing?! Good to know.
KEV AND LISS!!! 🎬🔥
Never would’ve thought I’d see you here!! Love Shan and it’s surreal to see y’all having this convo 🔥🔥🔥
I loved watching Kev pay attention to Liss needs. He is ready to put in some work lol marriage can be fun, but it's work!!
No wayyyyy!!! 😭😭 Shan is feeding us!!!
This was great!! The transparency is much appreciated!! The revelation of how most are wanting to get that old thang back is the complete opposite for y’all, is top tier! It really shines on what happens when you grow and learn each other throughout your relationship!! Thank you!!💜🎬🎬🎬🎬
Loved this episode so much!! Melissa and Kevin are so genuine and generous with their time and talents. They really are coming into their own as individuals and as a couple and I love to see it. 🎬🎬 and these stories have tickled me good! 😂
My first time here! Lived it and its so nice to continually see the Fredericks on the other side ❤👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
I love to see married couples(brought up in the church) speak openly about their sex lives. Also being a church kid, we NEVER knew married couples had sex until children came. Lol
The end message gave me such a beautiful peace within myself. Thank you for always being so transparent and honest with your feelings. I thought I was doing something extremely wrong with my life, my schedule, or just wrong overall. Not that you are God, but you are a voice that I cherish. Thank you 🙏🏽
“Now we have Phd in each other…” bars! Now that’s a goal to strive for in a relationship ♥️
The Onstages look freaking amazing! Great show!❤
This is why I love this couple! The transparency is so needed regarding sex in mature relationships.
Shan, you're an incredible interviewer. You’re thoughtful and your mind processes so quickly.
This was an AMAZING interview. Intimacy in all ways in long-term relationships are definitely very worthy content to explore more deeply.
LISTEN there must be a Part 2!! I feel like you guys only scratched the surface. Loved this episode 💞
As a fellow Christian i so appreciate this. It opens up up the fact that we all have the same traumas n experiences concerning sex. I realize its conditioning to man of us. Its was engrained in so may of us which is not Christianity it was just "rules" disgusted as Godly.... Its so hard to overcome that n be free even when u really want it, the rules are always in the back of ur head even when u know they were toxic. Thank you!
Literally my favorite podcasters in one room!! So excited to watch
LITERALLY 🥰
I truly can not get enough of this podcast!!! A sacred and emphatic YES!! Please keep them coming 🤓🤓🤓
This was such a good pod ! So good to see Mel and Kev be so open.....they are helping a lot of us "christian" married folks !!
Absolutely loved this episode, Melissa & Kev are always a joy to have & their transparency is everything!!
Yay! I really do enjoy The Fredericks and this was a great topic for them to discuss! This is the 3rd episode I have watched of "Lovers and Friends" so I decided it was time to subscribe. Great episode Shan & team. Oh, and Jared, I don't think you're supposed to do ANYTHING for like a week or two after a vasectomy ... we're gonna pray that everything remained in tact, Amen. LMAO!
This was so good and insightful!!! I appreciate this conversation soooo much. As a person who's marriage ended at the 7 year mark, I'm a little envious that you all partners that are willing to understand and work through these issues. It also help that I was married to a narcissist. Keep up the good, and open dialog y'all. I appreciate it so much.
Omg!!! Why? I never knew I needed this collaboration. My favorites 😍 💛 💓
So glad you had kev and Melissa on! I love when some of my fav podcasters collide!!! Its always a good time!!!
Love the openness of Kev and Liss during this episode! 🎬
Essssssss Kaaaaaaayyyyyyeeeeee 🎬🎬🎬🎬🎬🦋♥️ We in here!! Talk about the secks!! This is a durn good interview!!
Kev and Melissa brought me here 🎬🦋, but I am a new fan.
Shan is why I’m staying! I love your perspective and insight! This was a great interview
I LOVE THIS ENTIRE CONVERSATION!
Shan. YOU ARE SOOOO GOOD AT WHAT YOU DO! You handled this conversation so well. LOve you girl!
Great conversation, loved the host, very authentic. Kev & his wife is always real & transparent...
Excellent! The transparency is pure gold! 🎬🎬🎬
loved seeing Kev and Liss discuss this side of their relationship 🎬🦋
I love hearing that Melissa has a green where Kev has a yellow. The time has come!!
Wow your lighting is perfect! Their appearance looks great hear.
That was a really great episode! The Stages 😁 are awesome! Thanks for your honest sharing on this topic, Melissa and Kevin!
So happy to see Kev and Melissa here! Great interview 🎬🎬🎬
Great episode! So much understanding patience and wisdom
You know we came to support! #StageKrew 🎬🎬🎬🦋🦋🦋
That was such a lovely podcast. Informations and opinions were so nicely put. Thank you.
This was amazing !!! Love them so much and you were and are phenomenal !
iconic crossover here!!! StageKrew checking innnnn
I never thought these people would be in a video together love it‼️
This lighting is the best I’ve ever seen! I mean, the fact that I’m even noticing is amazing.
omg KevOnStage and Shan crossover i never expected but loved this!
Can't believe you've been married for 4 years and that I've been following your channels and career since before you were with Jared. You inspire me, I'm in awe and extremely proud of your personal and professional growth Shan. Loved the episode and I appreciate that the podcast is on RUclips now it makes it more accessible
Thank you for this convo. It's enlightening to see the different flavors of sex and communication, especially in marriage.
I lovveeeed tthhiisss. I wanted it to be longer. Y'all unpacked so much!! I'm going to watch with my husband!!
Love that you have the Fredericks!!
P.s I love the earnest 'half smile/half wanna laugh' intent look you have when you're enjoying what you're listening to and way in which your guest/s engage and meet your energy!
Sex doesn't get less passionate inside a long-term marriage.....It becomes like anything else, you know that person's body & their love language so it's easier to read their mind and know what turns them on.
Yessss I’ve been waiting for this as soon as I saw the notification from my podcast app 😍 love you all dearly😭🦋🎬👏🏾❤️🔥
Im so excited they’re on this podcast/video!!!! MY FAVORITE RUclipsRS !!!
🎬🎬🎬 this is a great convo! Love the church van 😂😂
These open conversations are so refreshing and insightful.
Loved the episode. ❤️ Kev and Liss were great as always. 🎬🦋And having my 2nd son 9 months ago, I’m slowly accepting that this season requires less perfection and more presence.
#seasonoflessismore
Love watching anything with Kev and Lis, this was good!
Love Love Love, Kev and Liss Fredricks❣️❣️👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾 Great interview Shan!!💕✌🏾
I really enjoyed this chat. Please do more like these.