Dear fellow feminists: you DO NOT have to always back your fellow women. You are supposed to back whoever you think is in the right, no matter their gender.
@@noodlepoodlegirl yeah…that will happen when a small subsect of women lie to ruin a man’s life Those women who throw around false SA accusations make it 10x harder for actual SA victims to be heard
@@noodlepoodlegirl no. No. I am not going to subscribe to that either, just because I've seen so many women blatantly lie to try to get back at men they dont like about some incredibly disgusting stuff. I'm not always going to believe a woman. Im not going to believe anyone who says anything to discredit someone else unless they have proof. Women are constantly believed when it comes to stuff like SA (not always but most of the time they are), its been that way since the MeToo movement and it's to the point now where lots of women use it as a weapon against innocent men (and sometimes other women!). It doesn't matter if a group of people "are not supported a lot", if someone has no proof about something that has happened and they are making outlandish claims about someone else then I refuse to believe them. Simple as that.
We had a foster cat, who was given to us by another foster and was labeled by her as "extremely aggressive". All the cat did in our apartment was hiding under our bed, which is why I put a bed for it under there, fed her there and let her be. She used her litter box, whenever we weren't in the apartment or at night. It worked. After a while, I noticed her licking her mouth profusely and only licking the sauce from food, but never taking anything solid. I decided taking her to the vet and this was, when she turned aggressive. She bit and scratched so extremely bad, that bandages and antibiotics were necessary. At the vet, it was discovered that she was so badly taken care of, that her whole mouth was completely inflamed and filled with pus, teeth were missing because of it and she was in horrible pain the whole time! Once she got painkillers and antibiotics and the inflammation went down, she suddenly came out under the bed and started to open up. She liked sleeping on the couch and getting pets and treats.
@@Inklicker1999 yes! she even got adopted, despite being an older cat and having already some health issues with her kidneys, no more teeth and almost no tail. She lived like a queen and got pampered a lot! :)
It's amazing how often cats are seen as too aggressive to be adopted when it turns out they have issues with their teeth or gums. I have an impacted wisdom tooth and when it really hurts, I feel like I could rip the whole arm off a person.
@@SwampVVitch unfortunately, this also sometimes goes for other pets too, like dogs, rats etc. If the behavior of an pet drastically changes, a vet visit should always on top of the list. I'm sorry about you tooth! I had to get all four removed, because they were way to big for my jaw. Can yours be removed?
That sounds like an issue my car had. Apparently their gums can re-absorb their teeth and it leads to those infection issues. I don’t think there’s anything you can do to prevent it, you just have to get the teeth pulled when it happens
Vet tech here: Heads up folks! A cat suddenly showing aggression can be a sign of visceral pain. A vet visit and diagnostics are very called for. Be safe, y'all ❤
Any sudden change in behaviour is a cause for concern and you should get the animal checked out. For us, it was the previously skittish cat becoming snuggly all of a sudden. Like, nothing gradual, we'd had him for years at that point and just accepted that maybe he preferred to be left alone with the cat toys apart from around food. Then, one day, he started being snuggly. Anyway, turned out he'd contracted something, likely from a stray in the neighbourhood. Ended up taking him to the vets every two months for years till he finally passed away just a week ago. (He was happy right up till that couple of days. After that first visit and the drugs kicked in, he went back to normal behaviour before gradually becoming more comfortable around us, you know, spending more time in the same room and eventually snuggling. Maybe covid also had something to do with it: we were around more so we were probably seen as safer. I wasnt at the final vet visit, but apparently he purred so hard in my mum's arms whilst he was going.) But even if it turns out nothing is wrong, getting them checked out anyway is a good idea. Could be the difference between a long happy life with a peaceful death and a short painful life with a sudden death.
Especially since he died suddenly like that. For some reason I don't think it was OP's doing, but some kind of illness, especially since he did manage to run away at first.
Very true! I had a cat change her entire personality because there was a tumor pressing on her lower back. It is sad to watch and without going to the vet you don't know what to do.
@@bethanybrookes8479my old pup had to be put down bc he had kidney cancer (i think?), he had been strangely sweet the entire day as though he knew he was gonna die and stayed in my arms while they gave him the shot. i will always miss you, oscar ❤️
Update on the Nair-girl: the police got involved but she didn’t press charges against her former friend. The friend STILL ended up in handcuffs because she attacked the police officer who questioned her about the incident…
@@daisyjoy242 Why would you try to get your best "friend" to lose their hair?! I agree, she needs help, but attacking a cop wasn't the worst thing she did.
Slipping into someone's bed while they are asleep (and cannot object) is a giant invasion of privacy and raises some weirdo flags. Not to be a conspiracy theorist, but it almost sounds like the friend wanted to start some weird drama by invading the couple's room when she knew they were going to be intimate.
Who _wouldn't_ expect random party guests to stay the hell out of a couple's bedroom? I feel like that's a weird thing to need to specify in the first place.
When I first started going to therapy, my family would tell me not to say anything bad about the family while I was there. Then they would grill me as soon as I got out about what I said during my visit. I couldn't reap the full benefits of therapy until I moved to the other side of the country and stopped speaking to them on a regular basis.
THERE'S AN UPDATE ON THE NAIR POST. Her mom found out and flipped her shit because apparently it was a few days before OP's 20th birthday. When OP tried to confront her "friend" she found out she had been blocked everywhere. OP has no idea why this happened cause they've never had any obvious jealousy or boy drama, but admits she's autistic and might not have picked up on it. The most popular theory is that she was jealous of OP's hair (which is beautiful) so she did this in the hopes that OP would show up to the birthday party bald and chemically burned, essentially humiliating her for life out of jealousy. The friend has been cut out and and all of their mutuals are on OP's side OP still has her beautiful hair. 💕
Found another update on that one, apparently when the police went to talk to the "friend"' she hit an officer and got arrested despite OP not wanting to press charges in the first place.
@@TwinMamaCrafts Dang... Does she realize she could've been permanently blinded? I am not as forgiving as her... Though I also kinda see that as not being as stupid. Granted, she wasn't actually blinded, so there is that. Just wow.
In regards to the therapist story: My mom was incredibly unsure about taking me to therapy and when I did go, she'd always ask about what we talked about. I'd try keep it very simple so as to not give her info I was uncomfortable with but also, that she would be somewhat satisfied. One day, I was talking to my therapist and at the end of every session, she would take out these cards. My mom walked in on this (everything was done on video-call due to COVID) and immediately started going off at the therapist for using 'Tarot cards', as it's a demonic ritual and we're meant to be a Catholic family. I ended up losing my therapist and even after finding out what the cards actually were, she didn't apologise. Instead, she still felt she did the right thing by being 'concerned'. And when I reached out to my therapist again, I never got a response. What were the cards? They were *motivation flash cards.* You pick one out and it says a quote to follow your life by, eg. "Don't sweat the small stuff". Demonic, my ass.
Wow, sorry that happened to you, man. But I find it weird the therapist just ghosted you without even trying to see if you were ok. She acted like you were the one that threw a tantrum on her and not your crazy mother. Idk, it seems off to me that someone in the mental health field would just leave you to deal with that awful situation, no suggestions to make your sessions more secure, re-direct you to someone you can see in person without your mother knowing, just nothing? I am not gonna say you were better off, because you definitely weren't, but its a little suspicious that you got no follow up at all.
@@QuietRage I did try to get into contact with my therapist through email and she was happy to hear from me and said she'd make an appointment with me soon. That was almost two years ago. Never got another reply from her since and I don't know why. I can safely say though that I've managed to do pretty well and despite how the cards were dealt (no pun intended), I feel pretty good about my life. As for my mom, it's a bit estranged but at least we have a mutual relationship and have been trying to get closer (I'm okay with this).
Isn't religion great? Looking at some of my broader family, I'll happily admit I'm glad my direct family (my parents, their siblings and my still living grandparents) are the sinful atheists of the bunch.
Fun animal fact: Some corvids (crows, rooks, ravens etc,) can understand physics. Corvids are highly intelligent. They can use tools, solve puzzles, recognise faces, and even understand physics. Tests show that rooks have the same level of understanding of physics as a 6-month-old baby, which is higher than some apes.
Yeah where I live they sometimes drop nuts with hard shells on the streets hoping that the cars passing by would break them. Or even in front of people hoping that they would step on them. They're really amazing birds!
I once watched a magpie try to place a walnut on a sloped roof and every time it would roll away it would catch it and carry it back up and try placing the nut again. I don't think this was the smartest bird in the bunch. I have seen magpies sliding down roofs in the winter like a slide though.
I guarantee the people that say this are the same people that pressure their own kids into giving them grandchildren so "all of their work wasn't for nothing."
I have a kid and i literally wouldnt ever say this. It makes no sense to me. Sure there may be stuff that's more complicated and some childfree time can be nice but i genuinely enjoy being a parent. I would rather spend my time with her than most people
As a child that grew up always hearing my parents say “You’re so lucky you don’t have children!” That shit sticks with you and genuinely ruins your self-esteem. I spent every moment of my childhood trying to be independent and mature in hopes of making my parents proud and happy. Anytime I actually behaved my age (crying over “small” stuff, getting a little cranky, meltdowns, etc.) they would yell at me and tell me that I was always super mature for my age and that I had no reason to behave that way. Yes, mom. Yes, dad. I *did* have a reason to behave that way. I was a small child, still very much in my developmental stages. I think that’s reason enough to act a little “childish.”
the fact that she slipped into the middle of the bed next to her husband and cozied up to him gently, not disturbing any one, obviously not drunk plopping down in with them and making a ruckus which would woken them up, she meticulously creeped into the bed and was conscious the whole time and didn’t wake the wife up when she felt “violated” and said nothing the night of when confronted. Yeah, all around shady woman and best to not be bothered with any more
My thoughts exactly! Like who climbs into bed with married couple anyway, especially when told not to. Id bet good money that she wanted this to happen, theres no other explanation. Obviously she wasnt blind drunk, otherwise she wouldnt know what happened there. Some peeps just need constant drama around them, super sad and pathetic.
This situation is one of many that would be considered as EXTREMELY inappropriate if the roles were reversed, but because it's a woman people are willing to back her. It's so gross on so many levels
@@bombdotcom2168 You know, you can just call out bad behavior and don't have to make this a useless "what if the roles were reversed thing" which isn't helping anyone
"My mom has changed therapists for me because the previous one refused to tell her what I said during our sessions." That's... that's the law, op's mom
Being a feminist also means respecting women enough to hold them to moral, legal, and ethical standards. Women are just as capable of being wrong or callous or thoughtless or mean as men. So are the non-binary folks. Because we are all human beings.
@fedethegreat88 then you're a human being that identifies as a toaster :) as to whether I accept your toaster-claim depends on how perfectly you make toast :p
You didn't have the update to the nair story. OP had her mother involved too and pretended they were going to use it first, then sent a text to the so called friend and asked if it was supposed to burn since they tried it on their arm. The friend blocked her everywhere after that text. It was also revealed that everything took place a week before OP was supposed to have a birthday party. The friend was jealous of OP's long hair and wanted to ruin her birthday.
1. This would blind someone. Easily. Instant permanent disability. 2. The "friend" was still handcuffed because she assaulted the police officer I guess? 3. Never tolerate this kind of person. They really will be the death of you because they "didn't know it was DEADLY?!"
About the aggressive cat. We had a neighbor that I visited often as a child. That neighbor had a cat which was always chill, but at some point it started targeting me. Whenever I came over it attacked me and I stopped visiting the neighbor because it caused me too much stress and panic attacks. 2 weeks later the neighbor brought the cat to a vet and it was diagnosed with a huge brain tumor and had to be put down.
Oh god, my auntie’s dog had the same thing. He was a past abused victim before she got him and had some aggression problems. He end up getting stomach cancer and was violent the last month of his life, likely due to the pain/Trama. He wasn’t big and we didn’t think he woold do hospital worthy damage but he got into my sister room/bed one night and bit her face. Her lip was shredded and off to the doctor we went. They put him down a day or so later because they had me (8 ) and my sister (12) living with them and were worried what he might do if left alone with us.
holy shit- my family's old cat bit down on my dads thumb to where he had to go to the hospital- we figured the cat was just aggressive cause he was a stray and then he ran away so uh-
I was thinking the same thing about the brain tumor. The cat may of been attacking him to get his attention for help since the fiancé seemed to not being to aware of the cats behavior.
My first thought was that. Okay, the cat is acting unusually weird, so take it to the vet. Cats are tough and don't show if they're ill, meaning when odd behavior occurs consistently. You go to the vet
I actually asked my therapist once about the lesbian porn stuff. She said, it’s because heterosexual porn can show quite the power dynamic and the same sex feels ‘safer’ and if you are trying to masturbate as a woman, many want to feel comfy. So, no, it does not necessarily mean anything for their sexual orientation. Many women especially enjoy porn between two men, she said, for the same reasons.
Oddly enough, I like heterosexual porn but I’m gay. I always find men attractive, date them and more. Never have with women. But gay porn?!? Idk, it doesn’t get me going at all. *shrug* This was part of the reason why It took me so long to realize I was gay… it wasn’t until a gay man flirted with me and I giggled like a girl, completely naturally and then my face flushed red from being called a “cute boy” and from embarrassment from giggling like a girl… as time went on, I ended up dating him and my world opened up 😂
Honestly I watch a lot of solo stuff for basically the same reason. So much porn has weird dynamics going on that just ick me out. And honestly the sex usually looks so bad in hetero stuff. No intimacy at all.
Thanks for the answer. Tbh I've been wondering what's up with my preference there for a while. Tho I think my sexuality being asexual plays a role in it too. I (as woman) don't wanna be part of the whole thing, and since I can't see myself as man (like, you could imagine yourself being the woman in one of these videos, but by two men that's not really possible) so that makes it more comforting to me.
as for the cat one-as a pet owner, it is your responsibility to make sure that your pet is a safe animal to be around. If you notice sudden changes, please please please take them to the vet. Situations like the one in the video ARE preventable (no hate to the fiancée)
Genuinely, if my cat was starting to be that aggressive towards family, I may love him and be very forgiving of his actions, but I would def force my mom to take him to the vet (I'm 17, so no can do on my own) and get him looked at. I feel like it's a big red flag that the cat owner in the story didn't do that pretty soon after the behaviour got like that. An owner should know their pet and realize when their personality is off. Perhaps the other person dodged a bullet if he didn't marry her.
I had a cat that was super sweet, but a bit jumpy. He purposefully scratched me a few times, but they were completely my fault (I didn't see him and stepped on him lol). But apparently, when my half-sister's dad came to visit, he acted extremely skiddish and aggressive. From all the stories I heard about that man, and how the cat acted while living at his place, I'm convinced he abused the poor thing. Cats just don't act like that unless they're given a reason to. I think OP is purposefully leaving out a lot of info.
This sounds like what happened with my cat. She was the most loving,sweetest, little cuddly cat; then one day out of the blue she started growling at nothing and attacking me. We took her to the vet and they gave her some medication that helped a little bit, but she just kept getting worse. Not long after, we decided that her quality of life was more important. The vet wanted to do an autopsy, he was afraid it might be rabies. It turned out that she had a tumor in her brain.😿
Girl… you got into his bed non-consensually with a drunk couple, then got angry when he touched her thinking he was touching his wife. This girl is a terrible, terrible woman. As a woman, I don’t back her at all. Edit: guys why the hell was this an argument? She’s obviously at fault and the people defending her in the replies definitely did not watch the whole thing
It's weird that they even had to say "hey, don't get in bed with us, we might be naked." Isn't "don't get in other people's beds without their knowledge or explicit consent" just a given!?
Exactly. As a woman, I don't back her either. She went in there, after being asked NOT to, they were both drunk and ASLEEP. Had she not gone in there, nothing would have happened. It's like she was trying to set this drama up which is disgusting and a real shame to victims of SA out there.
My mom literally got angry and abusive af when she thought that I looked "too sad" in the school when she came to pick me up or smth. She said I was doing it on purpose to make her look bad to others by insinuating that I'm sad about her coming to get me. Like the fuck. I tried to explain that I was just tired or it was my normal face but nah. Well, I guess looking backwards I was sad and scared to go home from school because who wouldn't with a psycho like that in your home?
Something similar actually happened to me. A wore a cheer skirt to a cheerleading event, even asked the coach if it was okay. Apparently, mom had “left the paper on the table” for me to “see what I should wear”. Everyone thought I was beautiful and showered me with compliments. That was the start of my decent in self esteem, and later, when I told her I felt like I needed to go to therapy, she was shocked to find out that I only felt sad at her house. She also later made me apologize to the coach, and when I obviously cried, she said I was “Trying to get the teacher on my side”.
I remember my mom threatened taking away therapy from me in 8th grade because I talked to my therapist about her when I “should’ve been talking about [my] anxiety and depression”, as though those weren’t connected 🙄
Sounds like we have identical moms. It's been a cloud over my life since I was about 12. I'm sorry we had to go through that, narc moms can really eff a kid/adult/person up. Trauma siblings!
Wahey! Or.. something 😅 Mine's not quite right either, and to this day she refuses to take the blame for anything. She just starts crying and lobs the blame over on to me. Lady, go tho therapy smh. Been messed up for as long as I can remember, which luckily is to about 4-5yo, where the cutoff is supposed to be, but that still means I've been messed up for over two decades and counting. I just had a very stressful situation at uni, and during the time it occurred, I realized that that paralyzing feeling of just surviving, that was my life, all of it, for as long as I lived with her, and only recently has begun to abate. The stress in uni has passed now, but realizing that now from a healthier frame of reference my life has been a living hell, I am livid. You can't be "less interested in activities than normal" when you've been chronically depressed since about 6 years of age. So of course I never scored well on those depression tests. I wasn't more depressed than usual. It's just that my usual was, well, depressed.
If I knew you, any of you, I'd be reporting your mothers for emotional abuse. *_NOBODY_*_ is allowed to interfere with the patient-therapist relationship!!!_ That is an *_UNFORGIVABLE Crime_* in my book. Anyone who attempts this is on My Permanent Sh1tlist.
21:44 I'm not a vet, but I definitely agree with that vet student. That cat sounded like it had some kind of brain tumor or something causing the aggressive behavior and sudden death. Also, yeah, it really sucks when your pet doesn't get along with someone and is aggressive towards them, but multiple hospital visits is definitely the time to consider giving up the pet.
It’s also possible that the cat was schizophrenic, and it’s death may have been caused by accidentally breaking a blood vessel or artery Not a vet though so I have no idea
@@UwUImShio yes, it causes paranoia, and usually hallucinations and voices in someone’s head, it can make someone think everyone is against them, make them terrified or aggressive, and usually is resolvable via medicine, but it can be hard to make someone use medication because they may believe the doctor is trying to hurt them.
Update on the cheating "friend" with the 50 yr old man: He was not only caught with op's former friend, but some other women. Homewrecker broke down in tears bc she thought apparently she was the only one for some weird reason??? Op and their friend group basically disowned toxic former friend bc they were worried if she was going to try to steal their boyfriends. Lost Genre has the full update on the story, his and Mark Narrations almost always have the full scoop if ya'll wanna check them out
I feel bad for that girl. She was 20, and clearly had deep-rooted self-esteem issues (and potentially daddy issues). A 50 year old would be aware of that and exploit it. She probably really believed that she was the only mistress. I hate guys like that.
TBH to go for a married person you have to have some pretty severe holes in your self esteem. You're willing to be second. Nevermind that he was literally twice her age and she was so inexperienced with life she had no reference points; it's possible she never even had a real relationship before. It is no surprise that a cheater knew exactly what lies to say to convince her that she was special and the only one, despite the glaring evidence to the contrary. Being afraid to leave your family and being trapped in an unhappy, sexless marriage is the evergreen story that frankly is believable. Girl was barely 2 years legal, it's insane to put half the blame on her. Hope she was able to move forward from it and grow. Let's be honest, the girl is hardly a homewrecker. That home was already wrecked. People have some strange lack of empathy.
The fact some people see feminism as "you have to believe women and back them up always" is so annoying. Edit: To be clear, what that lady did was wrong, obviously. I just see that attitude a lot, not that is applies 100% here.
The couple literally told her "don't climb into our bed, cuz we might do stuff together and want to be alone for that." She ignored it and went anyway and in the dark they drunkenly did stuff and she's like shocked pikachu face that something actually happened. That's on her for ignoring the warning to stay out of the married couple's bed.
The one at 13:50 was ridiculous, being a feminist does not require you validate the poor behaviour of another woman just because they are a woman. It means standing up for your fellow women when they are in the right and not backing down at such a time.
If anything, it's the opposite. Backing a woman just for being a woman is sexist as all hell and completely against the equality feminism is trying to achieve.
I've got news for the mom of therapy teen: The new therapist isn't going to tell you shit. Its not the fifties anymore, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists all function under pretty strict confidentiality that can only be broken if someone is a threat to themselves or other people.
I'm very happy for you. Hoping you get/got the help you need and do/are doing better. Best of luck to you. It's always relieving to even just see victims online that have survived and can tell their story. Makes me a little less scared.
Also trying to recover being a rxpe survivor so content warning are very important and i always appreciate the folks that take the time to ensure everyone is comfortable and feels safe ❤ sending much love to all of us who survived ❤
23:33 That girl's Dad, assuming he even heard her, was just like: "Oh shit, she's doing stuff to her parts! What do I do? Should I just sneak out the house?" (bumps into kitchen chair) "Oh shit, now she knows I'm here! If I don't go and say hi, she'll know I know...shit, I have to say hi, get out of here, then pretend it never happened. Oh God, what if she wants to talk about it!?" Like Father, like Daughter.
Once, the first time a particular bf and I did the naughties, he had...... let's call it performance anxiety. He was absolutely mortified. Being "offended" or whatever genuinely did not occur to me in that moment. I was just happy to be with him, and I reassured him repeatedly that I really was just content to be with him -- and that reassurance lead to other forms of... adult fun time. If anything, I think that event brought us closer. I didn't know it at the time but I'm demisexual/gray-ace; for me, that means that I don't feel attraction unless I have an emotional connection with someone, and even then most of the time I prefer just snuggling or being around my partner. Intimacy isn't just naughties, people
It would be nice if the OP in that story could find a partner who would prefer a micro p because of painful fun time with someone who's average size or larger. I think women have bought into the hype that bigger is better, but in this instance that's not necessarily the case.
one time my mom literally threw a tantrum and sobbed in my face because she thought it was unfair that I refused to tell her what I talked to with my therapist. she kept insisting that she was "just worried for me" and that me not telling her anything meant I didn't trust her. luckily she didn't try to stop me from seeing my therapist, but I feel like it was a close call. parents can be wild sometimes
reminds me of the time a few years ago i asked my mother if i could talk to a therapist and she laughed and made fun of it for a while. Now my mother thinks i have depression and keeps trying to get me to talk to one... the irony
I actually don’t have therapy. I probably should since at one point I had a panic attack and woke up with a knife in my hand. But I never told them that. Because it never happened again. But still. I actually snapped at my mom before. Instead. She had me go to a psychiatrist. But has sat in on all of my appointments. Either that or has had my dad do that. One thing about them. They are against the LGBT community. And I’m gay and a trans female. So I can’t say what’s actually wrong with me. So basically these sessions have been more for them than for me. Then again. I’ve found out that I’m autistic. So that’s a good thing. But still.
Parents having their OWN therapy sessions may not be a bad idea... Also, the therapist never brought up having a private session...for ANY of the participants? REALLY? Honestly, if it were me, I'd mention it to an online/free service & see what their take on it was, or talk to a school counselor about it. A "second opinion" of sorts.
What I don't understand is people don't seem to realize if you don't push your kid to talk to you. , there's a good chance that they may feel comfortable to talk to you eventually. I know when I have a kid someday, and if they ever need therapy, I'm not going to pry. I'm just going to ask if everything's ok, how did it go, and move on from that. if they want to talk to me then they're more than welcome to, but i'm not entitled to their story
It definitely sounded like the cat needed a full vet work up before the 1st attack, when he went from accepting OP to suddenly loathing and fearing him after they got the new kitten(yes some behavior issues will arise when Introducing a new animal but in theory shouldn't effect already established human relationships) it really sounds like it was a in balance in the brain or maybe something else happening on a biological level effecting him.
Exactly. Change in behavior, that's a vet visit. Animals don't change their habits unless something causes them to. If your animals is doing something different, there's a reason why.
As someone who has grown up with cats their entire life, exactly this, the fact that the cat owner didn't ever take the cat to the vet after such a stark change in personality and behavior is extremely disheartening and frankly not cool. One of my grandma's dogs had a similar thing happen to her and they took the dog in for a vet check and found a large tumor in her.
I've read some comments on videos with cats suddenly becoming extremely aggressive and hospitalizing people that those cats could actually be in incredible pain. Like they're in so much pain they become distressed and want to defend themselves and will attack anything. I've also seen people say that sometimes pets could have bad tempers to certain groups of people like men, children etc because of something bad in the past that they have experienced with that certain group
I was thinking that there must have been some pre-existing condition, as well. Maybe an undetected illness, chronic pain, or like you said: a brain imbalance or something. That cat wasn't happy, not a good quality of life.
The Therapy story particularly set me off. I know several professional psychologists, and know enough to know that 'what happens in therapy stays in therapy' isn't just a catchy cliche, it's CRITICAL TO THE PATIENT-THERAPIST RELATIONSHIP and ENSHRINED IN LAW. Had the therapist talked about it, she would almost certainly lose her license in VERY short order.
I get seriously irked by parents who think they have a right to know what was talked about in their child's therapy session. It's not your business, and the parents that actively look for these things are the controlling type and for sure know in the back of their minds that they're the reason their kid goes to therapy
The role of a therapist is to focus _on the patient_ and what _the patient_ is saying, without judging the patient. Breaching confidence is the Height of Unprofessionalism, if not a reportable offense to a state ombudsman. Any parent who is worried about "what their child is saying in therapy" about them _has just told me that they _*_ARE GUILTY_*_ of something._
The "changing therapist" story at around 26 minutes in: The one and only time I have gone to a therapy session was because my mom wanted to "set me straight", aka making the therapist change my mind so I would admit that my mom was right about some things in her behavior. The whole session ended up with the therapist actually getting increasingly mad at my mom xD no therapy ever for me again
Your mom might be a narcissist, borderline personality is also on the table. I dont know how old you are or if you still live at home, but I think youre better off knowing that anyway. Read up, the interweb is full of good knowledge and advice on how to act around these guys. I wish you luck, if you need help, Im here. (Your name gave me the giggles and flashbacks to 90s radio, fellow countryman..)
If I knew you, I'd be reporting your mother for emotional abuse. *_NOBODY_*_ is allowed to interfere with the patient-therapist relationship!!!_ That is an *_UNFORGIVABLE Crime_* in my book. Anyone who attempts this is on My Permanent Sh1tlist.
As a transgender man, I really related to the man who struggled with his micro size. It's hard finding someone to accept you and your body. It's hard because you don't feel like a "real man" (whatever that is) and it's hard when you feel defective. Sometimes life just is hard, and people are cruel and make it harder than it needs to be.
I’m non-binary and have been dealing with really bad chest dysphoria lately and I also really related with that post a lot. Guess I’m some way I’m glad to see I’m not the only one.
Having dated a trans man and a trans woman, the struggle is really real. I did my best to be a supportive and loving partner to both of them. I'm part of the LGBTQIA family as well. I've never understood the preoccupation people have with what someone's genitals are, what they look like, and how big/small/"realistic" they are. Intimacy is so much more than fucking.
I think it would be nice to find a partner who is looking for more other things than the traditional way, but it's also always good to find someone that will allow experimenting, as a lot of guys with micro's are often treated like the guy in the story and have had little experience and wanna try a lot of things they previously never got to try, like doing it the traditional way once just to see what it's like, or maybe even more than once, on occasion, with a toy involved as well while also being very open to experiment for her pleasure. We all want to feel like fully functional people and not feel defect, so being open to things like that can be more important than people might realize. I can see the mood dying completely after your partner says "no, that's not working" and that can even make it harder than it necessarily had to be, and in some smaller guys cases could be what leads to it not working at all just because they didn't get the time to figure out their position or moves etc.
You're not supposed to ALWAYS believe women BLINDLY, you're just supposed to make it comfortable for the victim to speak up and not say things like "you asked for it/you dressed the wrong way" etc and provide an atmopshere where they can share their story.
Exactly. Blindly believing women basically reverses the inequality, the whole thing feminists fight with. I have pretty often heard the stories where feminists go too far, instead of trying to make women and men equal, they make women better. You should support women, but only if they're right. In the example talked about in the video there is no problem in taking the man's side, because he was right.
Yes, it's also important to make sure the "victim" is actually a victim without invalidating them during the process in the more likely instance that they are a victim.
If someone told me they slipped in my bed while I and they were drunk, after I specifically said to stay out, and I touched them, thinking they were my SO, and they felt violated...I would totally feel like projection going on, as nah...I would be the victim. She don't even get what she did is literally what she claims happened to her. She's just trying to make the claim first so he will look like he's copying if he does now.
@@Rhaenarysthere is a guy who is in jail and has to pay child support to a girl who, at the the was underage, who slipped into his bed while he was black out drunk, got him hard, had sex with him and got pregnant because of it. He never consented...
The way they described their self-defense against the cat made me go "Huh. I don't think that would have been enough to kill the cat." Like, cats aren't made of marshmallows. They have bones like humans do. They can definitely withstand someone pinning them to the ground (within reasonable limits, of course). The fact that he suddenly died like that definitely points to some illness, and an illness would absolutely explain the behavior. I hope they saw the comment by the vet student and went for the autopsy.
Exactly what I thought, I volunteer at a kitten shelter and had basically the same incident happen once, it was some kind of illness or neurological problem I think, the cat was very aggressive for about 1-2 weeks and then she just died… I hope they found out what caused the cat’s death…
my cats have fallen badly before. and one was dipped in motor oil (we think they tried to set him in fire) they're shockingly resilient. my youngest had a severe eye infection as a kitten, she ended up with an ulcer on her eye and she almost needed it removed. she's now fully healed and her eyes are perfect. my eldest two are both 15, and one is in spectacular health, the other is starting to succumb to old age but he's still kicking. another one of my cats had cancer. but after having his eye removed he's perfectly fine. unless that cat was super ill, it wouldn't've died from what op said. it reminds me of my old cat, who got hit by my moms car, then ran off and fell off a fence, and then started dying. the vets didn't know why she was dying. it was mostly just her being hella old.
'I feel like a bad feminist because we're supposed to believe all women 100% of the time, but now that my husband is the one being accused I find that I do NOT in fact believe her because she did something we EXPLICITLY told her NOT to do.'
My therapist quit 😗 we showed up at her office for my appointment and it was cleaned out. I was thirteen and even now as an adult, i dont know why. To make matters worse, my last appointment with her was discussing my abandonment issues. I wish her well and hope nothing bad happened.
She's now living in Albuquerque under Witness protection lol. That's the only way I can think she'd just close shop without sending a notice to her patients. Usually it's just a "I'm outta here, here's a referral to my colleague." but it's usually something.
i feel like there might be some gaslighting from your parents/ legal guardian (money paid to therapist) or hanlon's razor- your therapist died, or got evicted from her office over unpaid rent.
26:02 My mom used to call my therapist multiple times a week, demanding that we talk about something, or reporting a change in my behavior, and ALWAYS DEMANDING that my therapist tell her what we talked about in session. Every therapist I've ever had, up until I turned 18. Five therapists, all fending off my mom. Bless them, honestly. Edit: My mom got SO ANGRY when I was diagnosed with PTSD. I was 15, maybe 14, and she started believing I was lying to my therapist and psychiatrist then.
I'm glad they stood up for you. I didn't get my CPTSD diagnosis until I was 25, and I'm not sure I'm done grieving for my lost childhood yet, let alone being able to work through the issues. At least mine was the more kind of distant neglectful than helicopter neglectful, so she didn't actively bother me like it sounds yours did with the therapist. I hope you've gotten away and can actually build your life to some degree. I don't know exactly what you went through, but I know for a fact that it hurt. And then not being believed about being in pain? That hurts even more.
The role of a therapist is to focus _on the patient_ and what _the patient_ is saying, without judging the patient. Breaching confidence is the Height of Unprofessionalism, if not a reportable offense to a state ombudsman. Any parent who is worried about "what their child is saying in therapy" about them _has just told me that they _*_ARE GUILTY_*_ of something._ Frankly, if I knew your family and found out this was going on, I'd be reporting your "mother" to the authorities.
My previous psychiatrist saw my mom as well and she got angry when he went off on her because she hand wanted one of my brothers stealing my adhd meds and then lied to me about giving him money and paying his bills, but I found out anyway and felt completely betrayed. The doctor was very angry and read her the riot act, but I think she was afraid I or the doc would press charges and didn't try to get in the way of my treatment or stop seeing the doctor herself, but she hated the doctor after that.
@@madalice5134 In your case, that was a breach of ethics on that psychiatrist's part. He probably shouldn't have been seeing both of you if he couldn't keep confidentiality and impartiality for both of you.
I literally went thru 5 therapists because “they took my side”, up to and including one who went off on my Dad with “I have never met anyone who so desired to label and categorize their children” and “you’re more emotionally intelligent than he will ever be” when I was like 13 (spoiler, I was in constant hypervigilance from trauma and not, actually, emotionally intelligent, I was just perpetually self-critical and shamed into having to manage everyone *elses* emotions towards me)
The one about a childless sister. Had a lot of people tell me over and over again "Why aren't you a parent? You'd be great at it! You are so good with kids." I always tell them, no I'm not great with kids. I'm fun to be around for a short period of time, the best part of interacting with your kids is knowing when I leave they stay with YOU and I don't have to deal with them when they are being annoying.
Thank goodness, when you reach a certain age, @ least for women, they stop asking. They Also stopped asking me when I replied, "Yes, I DO love children. I also love monkeys. That doesn't mean I want them in my house." UTTERLY priceless facial expressions.
Update about the cat story: OP added that the cat was indeed checked up by a vet several times, and was intended to be brought to a behaviourist after the wedding, his sister is a vet too and checked him when she was guarding him. They never found anything. The necropsy was performed, he updated when he didn't had all the details, just that no trauma was found on the cat. One comment say they were vet themselves, and that cats can have a cardiac malformation that can kill them pretty much anytime, sometimes just by walking, and is not detected easily. Anyways, he doesn't seem to ahve really killed the cat, it's just a weird coincidence ^^'
If it was a heart condition that caused it I'm sorry but yeah he did kill it, the compression on the chest and high BP/HR of the situation (when coupled with the restricted movement) would mean that without the dude and his actions it would be alive. I'm not saying he should feel bad, it was defense against effectively a wild aggressive animal he was perfectly right to do what he did but I don't think we should pretend that what he did didn't have anything to do with the cats passiv, it was unfortunately necessary but yeah
@@ConstantChaos1 'Heart malformation' is way too vague to determine that his actions had anything to do with it. There are plenty where sudden compression wouldn't mean a thing, but just regular use could open a hole that REALLY shouldn't be there or the like.
Can doesn't mean the cat had the malformation. It's far more likely the cat died from sheer stress. Lots of animals can die from stress and that cat was put under a lot of it over a long period of time. Convincing yourself it was some unproven medical issue may be more comfortable but I think it's better long term to acknowledge the ways the whole situation was mishandled due to inexperience. It wasn't intentional and they're not some evil pet killer and there's not much they can do about what's already happened but they can also learn what could be done better if they find themselves encountering a similar situation in the future.
Re: The guy who thought he killed his fiancé's cat. Yeah absolutely there was some health issue with that cat. I'm amazed in no part of the story did they ask a vet what could be wrong. I definitely think the cat died of the underlying health issue, and I'm shocked that the woman who cared so much for the cat didn't even consider asking a vet to have the cat checked out before that point. Oh and side note, I also own bite-proof gloves specifically for cats. But that's because we regularly do TNR on ferals. None of our pet cats need the bite proof gloves.
He have bite proof gloved for the cats. But it's only for getting them to the vets. We try our best to make is as stress free and untraumatic as possible, and even leave the carrier out full time (they sleep in it). But I swear they are telepathic: the only time we need them in there, and they'll refuse to go in. Heck, they could be sleeping quite happily in the carrier, and on any other day, you could approach them just fine and even shut them in without issue. But when we need to take them to the vets, the minute they hear you're footstep enter the room, they wake up and scarper from the carrier. Then it's a case of scooping and placing them in, and we'll, Fred is a pretty big cat, he has the claws to match, and he looks after those claws. They're sharp. And he has a full mouth of pretty sharp teeth (he prefers the biscuits over the wet food.) So if its his turn, unfortunately, the gloves have to come out.
The therapist thing is real, man. I grew up with undiagnosed autism, adhd, and learning disabilities - as well as bullied by EVERYONE - so by high school i was a traumatized, angsty ball of anger who couldn't figure out how to make anyone understand me. Mom finally had enough and sent me to a therapist, who scolded me for refusing to talk at first, then when I did open up, she told my mother everything, who punished me for everything from the bad words i said during sessions to infringements I may have admitted to. Between that and the school counselor who made me share personal shit in a room full of my bullies for them to spread around the school, I didn't go back to therapy until I was nearly 30 years old.
Thats highly unethical, highly isnt even strong enough word for it. Your mom doesnt sound awesome either.. Im so sorry that all the adults failed you, thats unfair and unfortunate. I hope you have found some peace of mind and good coping mechanisms, you are worth it. As a fellow ADD-scatterbrain, I wish you all the best. Ps. Here you can be yourself, thats why we have the best community in the whole web!
This is illegal in the United States! This is a violation of HIPAA. Unfortunately, minors can’t do much about situations like this, since they generally can’t afford to sue a physician on their own without parental assistance. I’m so sorry you had such an awful experience with therapy. As someone who grew up with ADHD and autism that went undiagnosed until I was 17, I understand feeling angry and confused about why people didn’t understand me and bullied me. I hope you’re doing better now and you have a strong support system that respects your privacy and treats you right.
It's the Click. Everything he does, he does it in the most cursed way possible. It's why we subbed to his channel. Did you expect anything less? Shame... :( Lol.
He’s also wasting water by doing this, since if he showered with them on *like a normal person,* then his clothes would be washed at the same time, and he wouldn’t have to wash them separately.
Crazy cat lady here: this person was actually cleaning the litterbox and extremely happy when the cat showed affection for a few seconds. He only ever "hurt" the cat while being very viciously attacked by it and even then only enough to get the cat to stop destroying his hand or leg. That's more patience and understanding than most people would have under these circumstances.
Yeah, it’s incorrect to say “you should never hurt another animal” because if you’re being violently attacked by an animal, and you can’t get away, you can only do so much to defend yourself. This sounds like a fight-to-the-death on the cat’s part and is not normal whatsoever. I feel so bad for the cat and really feel for OP. It hurt so much to listen to that story because something was clearly wrong
As someone studying for a masters in rehabilitation counseling, that new therapist is going to tell the parents the exact same thing. And if they do agree without the child's input, that's unethical and a red flag.
I honestly hope they'll agree but only tell them irrelevant/not exactly true things. I'm not one for lying if it's not needed, but even my therapist told me to lie to my father if I need a break and get out of the house (my father and I are taking care of my mom after she had a stroke but he's not there that much, doest do any house work, and gets angry pretty easily and shouts a lot)
i, too, shower naked. i never felt comfortable enough to say it out loud, or even type it. i always had a fear of being judged about it. but thanks to you Click, i feel safe enough to write this comment.
I'm not saying I agree with it, you do you, I guess. Just don't go forcing your beliefs on me. I'm a proud American shower-clothes wearer, through and through.
My mom started taking me to her own therapist. Every week I would suffer the ride home being berated for something I had said the week prior. I grew up and told someone about it amd was told that therapist could have lost her license for that.
Hell, she should have lost her license for agreeing to see you at all. A therapist shouldn't see both parent and child, that all but guarantees spilling shit they say about one another.
Some abusers only agree to therapy in order to validate their abusiveness. They think the therapist will convince their victims that they are in the right and get mad when it doesn't happen. They also don't understand "privacy" either, yet another reason why they change/get rid of therapist because they believe they have a right to know what their victim said.
My mom couldn't fire my therapist because it was mandated that I see one by DCFS (Pretty much CPS) but she often ignored a lot of the clear signs of mental illness I had, lied to my therapist to get me out of being taken to the hospital and accused me of lying to my therapist about how severe my mental illness was- In reality, I was opening up to my therapist and telling him that I felt I really needed help and she prevented me possibly being able to meet with a psychiatrist about medication or specific therapy to help me get better. Narcissistic parents are just the worst. They're the worst. They can't handle imperfections in themselves, nor in their children so when the children become mentally ill as a result of their awful behavior they refuse to let them get help. A lot of the time it's because they don't want a child that can fight back against them in an argument. It sucks living with them.
Breaching confidence is the Height of Unprofessionalism, if not an actual legal offense. Any parent who is worried about "what their child is saying in therapy" about them _has just told me that they _*_ARE GUILTY_*_ of something._ I hope you have recovered and cut off so contact with that b1tch that birthed you, because it sounds like that's all she did. Abusive cvnt…
I feel that. My father’s a narcissist, physically abused me growing up and manipulated me and others into never letting it get out. I was diagnosed on my parents request with ADHD and social anxiety, and potential Autism but they didnt look into that (it took 3 diagnoses and potential diagnoses to explain my behavioural issues) and forced to take ADHD pills, which, at the time, were not well researched and not much was known about them so I was on concerta at a really high dose as a physically underweight 8 year old, which made me sick. I told them it made me sick and they continued to force me to take it. I fully believe that they were trying to cover up clear symptoms of child abuse by calling it ADHD and making it look like they were taking care of it by having me on that medication. At this point bith my therapist and my family doctor, who was part of prescribing that ADHD medication to me when I was a child, are relatively convinced I have Complex PTSD due to solely what my parents did to me in my childhood and probably linked to and worstened by being forced to take medication that made me sick and was actually unhealthy and potentially even dangerous to me (concerta ruins your appetite and makes you lose weight, and I was already dangerously underweight, not due to an eating disorder or anything but due to likely stress and the fact that we never really had much food in the house and when we had meals the portions were too small and we were told to satiate our appetites by finding or making more food after dinner though there was no food like that in the house). I’m in my 20s now and i dont speak to my father anymore, in fact, I dont consider him my father. I live on my own, hours away from my home town, I feed myself with the amount of food I need, i am still underweight to this day, but my doctor has accepted that that’s just the way I am now and will likely always be. Im on a waiting list to see a psychologist or psychiatrist who can diagnose me with potential C-PTSD and hopefully clear the air about that misdiagnosis in my childhood
@@cheesethekoala8756 that's really messed up, you seriously didn't deserve any of that. Glad you're away from them and finally starting to get some real help I also have complex PTSD, and yeah that kinda shit you describe basically guarantees C-PTSD tbh
I love how this subreddit flips between the three sides of completely horrible and awful, then something so embarrassing I feel embarrassed for the poster, and then something so heartwarming that revives my faith in humanity. Until I remember my life goals, that is.
For the cat one, I'm almost certain that cat had some disease. Cats will often become aggressive if they're in pain and suffering. It's not always obvious that they're sick, but the fact that they died so easily, you barely put pressure on them, tells me there was something else going on with them. Also the fact that the bites caused a such bad infection probably means that they were sick. Edit: oh yeah, someone mentioned that
It sounds like the cat was seen by a vet over the broken jaw. Considering that and the fact that the cat only hid from the author and only attacked them when they got too close. I don't think the person is telling the whole truth.
I feel so bad for the girl dating that plus sized girl and her friends are bullying her partner. It’s terrible to see someone you love be treated so poorly, especially by people you held important to you. But it also sucks because the way they talked implied their friends were all okay with her dating a girl. Even a younger generation has homophones scattered around and it’s so hard to find a friends group willing to accept you for who you are especially when it comes to lgbt issues. She has to choose between dropping toxic friends that were otherwise willing to accept her for who she is, or keeping them around and walk on eggshells knowing you couldn’t include all the people you love into one event because the person you’re dating will be trash talked. It’s so hard to start from scratch and find more people willing to accept you as an lgbt person, and I just feel so bad for her. I’ve been through similar things and I just hope she finds a good friend group that cares about her and won’t shame her girlfriend for being overweight.
I've had partners whose friends acted that way. Even as grown ass adults and not stupid teenagers playing mean girls. Ruined more than one relationship because their friends or family were "embarrassed". 🤷
Gotta be honest: I finally managed to make myself shower after having a pretty long depressive episodes, and hearing click’s normal intro (the you smell good today part) really made my day today.
Same here, took my first proper shower (that wasn't just a thirty second pits and bits rinse at least) yesterday since a family members funeral. Good on you for managing that, depressive episodes suck but I hope things start looking up for you. You aren't alone.
congrats! i struggle with the same thing a lot but with brushing my teeth instead of showering, but im slowly getting better. i hope things improve more for you soon
That's great for you! I've had trouble taking showers in the past myself, I still only do it weekly, sometimes a week passes, but it's gotten better. I believe in you too. And, look, don't be ashamed if your depression holds you back. If I may suggest something, if taking a shower is too much, it's okay to just take wet wipes or wet some paper and clean under armpits and such places =) It's completely understandable.
@@rhaeasoul8531 hypothyroidism, sleep apnea, Diabetes type 1, Diabetes type 2, arteriosclerosis, Polycystic ovary syndrome, hyperthyroidism, cancer, pulmonary cachexia, birth control, anorexia and intestinal diseases have left the chat -just to name a few that cause either underweight or overweight or sometimes can be cause of both-
The aggressive cat was probably dealing with some kind of significant medical or mental health issue that wasn't being addressed. My first thought is some sort of territorial anxiety due to the addition of both a new person and the kitten. There are actually medications for cats dealing with mental health issues like anxiety. I don't know what all they tried of course, but it's sad that some people just punish or throw out or kill cats that misbehave when there's always a reason behind their behaviour. It sounds sort of like what Jackson Galaxy would refer to as a Napoleon cat: extremely aggressive and defensive behaviour due to severe anxiety over their territory feeling threatened.
I feel so bad for the cat. They don’t attack ppl out of spite, it’s bc of an underlying issue. What a terrible ending to its life. 💔 If it’s a brain tumour or mental health issue, it’s just so sad that it was left untreated and then died like this. Poor thing.
I just can’t believe that after the first “attack”, that only ended by the cats body being smashed against the floor for 1/2 a min … that no one took the cat to the vet?? It doesn’t matter if the fiancé was doing it in defense. You still hurt an animal. I would at least be concerned enough to have a professional check that they were okay. It’s really on the pet parent AND their partner for not doing something sooner and letting it get to this point.
@@butterflypooo exactly... and after the check up get the claws cut (not declawing, never declaw, just a bit shortened) just to make sure that future "strikes" are not as nasty, until you find out how to handle it. I also think, that the home was probably not at all cat friendly if the cat chose a kitchen cupboard as hiding spot. Cats need elevated hiding spots that are not invaded by accident.... especcially when they deal with anxiety.
That last story sorta reminded me of my relationship. My partner is asexual, while I am not. It wasn’t exactly easy for her to get into stable relationships with what people might consider a “limitation.” It really isn’t. It’s just how she is, and it’s just part of what makes her perfect.
As an Ace myself, i was also thinking about this dynamic. We need to normalize having those convos well ahead of the activities. Saves a lot of pain when both parties actually know what's up.
Genuine question, is it possible to be in a relationship while being Ace? I gave up trying because I asume no one would want me if there isn’t any intercourse involved…
@@DoritoBot9000 may not be ace but from what I’ve learned- yes. There are 2 things, asexual and aromatic! Asexual is no sexual attraction while possibly having a romantic attraction. Sorry if I got anything wrong btw
ReemTheTheme is right- romantic and sexual attraction are two different things. It's entirely possible, and has been done, to be an Ace in a romantic relationship
The cheating friend story is baffling on too many levels. Why give the tea to a friend, ESPECIALLY one that’s so openly against cheating in the first place? How is she OK with doing it with someone old enough to be her dad? Why is she bragging about it? It’s just baffling and wrong on far too many levels.
I already heard of dogs and horses that went on to aggressive rampages and turned out to have brain tumors so yeah, that would be my guess for the cat too. I still like how OP and their partner still tried to work with the cat and OP didnt made it into some "its me or the cat" situation despite all that have happened. This both shows some serious dedication and i hope they can get past this together. (But still its strange that the cat didnt get checked out, isnt that a normal thing to do?)
Yeah, unless OP and their fiancé were in a very tight financial crunch, it's absolutely normal to take sudden unexplained changes in behavior straight to the vet. It could be anxiety, it could be a tumor. Either way, it's more than you're likely to deal well with on your own.
I mean, if your cat acts like that you need to get it checked by a vet. But this cat was not rampagning, it showed classical territorial defensive aggression. a bit over board maybe, but also not that unusual if a cat has to first accept a new human, then gets relocated, and befor it can settle down gets another cat into the house. Most cats would freak out at least a little under this circumstances
Im not entirely sure I agree with how it was handled though. I think OP deserves to feel safe in his home and not risk being sent to hospital. Its *completely valid and ok* to say "I don't want to live with an animal that sends me to hospital". The cat wasn't taken to the vets or a behaviourist, and there doesn't seem to be any compromise either like restricting the cat to certain rooms so it didn't attack OP. So OP was just expected to deal with being attacked, without any effort made to make him safe. And his partner also didn't consider the cats safety either, as these interactions also had the potential to hurt the cat. The cat also seemed to be living in fear and/or discomfort. She neglected both of them. I have 8 dogs myself, grew up with cats, horses, ducks and chickens. My little sister still has a scar on her face from when the family dog attacked her worse than usual. The dog had bitten her before but each time it was forgiven until it finally got too far. I stepped in and took the dog. I wish something was done much sooner, it should never have happened. No one deserves to be attacked in their own home. Both her partner and the cat were suffering because of the decision to do nothing.
@CiElBie I agree with you here, my family owns five dogs, one if which is a parvo survivor, who has some pretty bad neurological damage (we aren't exactly sure if it is a tumor or nerve issue but we know it's probably made worse by him having been so sick as a puppy). He bit someone once. We had been noticing some aggression issues leading up to that but weren't exactly sure what to do. After he lashed out like that we completely altered how we handled the dog - including putting him in our parents bedroom when we have guests, leashing him when we let him out and we know people are nearby, getting him medicated, etc...- we don't have money to find out exactly what is wrong with him, and we know he's inevitably going to get to a point where our methods won't work and we'll have to put him down. It's hard as hell to deal with especially if you love the pet, our dog in my case, but it is just as much about keeping the people safe as much as the pet. I have sympathy for the fiancée in the story about the cat but I agree it should have been handled much different than it was.
@@cielbie8251 oh, absolutly. They did themselves AND the cat dirty. Alone that the cat obviously chose a cupboard to hide in shows that they did neither consider the cat's need for a safe undisturbed place to hide in (if possible at an elevated place with good view over the room), nor the safety of the humans involved. The same with the litter box: When a get is that anxiouse about their territory you have the litterbox only ever touched by a person the cat trusts until you were able to establish a less stressed situation. Cleaning the litterbox, while necessary, for the cat is like removing their territorial marking, they do accept this and probably even appreciate it for having a cleaner space to poop and pee, when done by a trusted person (or when they feel safe in general). But this cat obviously saw this act by this person as a gross violation of an intruder into one of the few spaces this cat considered their own.
The cat thing fucks with me on so many levels. The poor thing probably had a horribly painful condition that for some reason or another was aggravated by OP. I don’t really blame OP for this animals suffering as much as I do their fiancé. OP had little experience with cats so they likely had no idea exactly how unusual behavior like that is. OP seemed like they were genuinely trying their best based on what they did know while also trying to prioritize their safety. The fiancé should’ve known better and should’ve taken her cat to the vet immediately after that first attack. Yes sometimes cats can just be that aggressive but it’s almost always due to poor socialization as kittens (aka being feral) and/or past abuse in their life. That cat from the sounds of it had neither of those experiences. I’m by no means an authority on animal health but I did grow up with cats, volunteer in animal shelters, and foster cats and kittens. I work specifically with a lot of medical cases because as someone with disabilities I love to help animals with both permanent and temporary disabilities get to a point where they are ready for a forever home. Based on my experience it kinda sounds a little like this cat might’ve had some sort of brain tumor that was pressing up against an major artery/vein. OP might’ve accidentally slammed the cats head when they pulled him off and pinned on. That impact was likely enough to finally make that vein or artery burst which is why it took only a few minutes for the cat to die. I will also note that when the cats jaw was broken the vet should’ve 100% started trying to find out the cause of the aggressive behavior. It’s possible OP and her fiancé just said he’s always been like this with OP so the vet didn’t think that it was a drastic change. I will say I’ve also met dozens of vets who only care about treating the specific thing the animal came in for and completely ignore what caused the injury or illness. The number of times a vet has just thrown drugs at me and kicked me out is appalling so it’s entirely possible something similar happened to OP and their fiancé. Ultimately multiple people failed this cat and his death was more than likely preventable or at the very least could’ve been much more peaceful.
Apparently the cat had been declawed at some point in the past. So that gives a pretty accurate idea of what kind of “owner” the poor thing had. Some people shouldn’t be allowed to have pets, I swear!
That cat story broke my heart into a million pieces. I have three cats and I cannot imagine not running a whole ass CSI investigation if my cat behaved that way suddenly to try and understand what has them so frantic. I feel sick hearing about how that poor cat was treated. Not faulting the fiance, but as humans who the cat is depending on, even they should have acted on behalf of the cat. I hate people who get pets and then don't even try to understand them.
The woman that snuck into the couple's bed after they told her not to assaulted the husband, not the other way around. She should be damn grateful they took it as an honest mistake
My mom tried to make me stop talking to my school appointed councillor because she agreed with me that I could not finish college while living with her. My mom literally went from "I really like her" to "I thought we didn't like her" as soon as she said something that went against my Mom's thoughts, so I really relate to the thumbnail, lolol
Gosh, that story with the cat is really concerning. I have two cats and they would NEVER EVER attack someone like that aggressively. This story is just not how normal, happy, healthy cats act. My cats have only ever hurt us by accident. I also would be willing to bet that it wasn't OP's actions that killed the cat. It will have been a long time coming. Something was definitely up.
It's interesting how people are ignoring that OP in that story is describing their reactions to all of the cat's behaviors as strong physical violence, the final being putting their body weight on the cat's neck, and then being shocked that the cat is aggressive and distrustful towards them. Sure the cat could be sick, but the first reaction to the cat reacting negatively was throwing the cat, hitting it's head against the tiles.. Does not sound like a quiet nice home either.
@@CommissionerC from what it sounds like, the OP was using physical violence to try and pry the cat off of him since he described the cat as "shredding his arms." I've never had a cat come anywhere close to shredding my arms before, only scratched, and marks like that scar anyway. I can't imagine the panic and pain that could actually be caused if a cat genuinely tried. regardless, I do really hope there isn't something sinister in the background of that story that could explain the cat's behaviour like a history of abuse or something.
@@CommissionerC Dude. The cat latched on and shredded their arm. They fucking lost use of their hand for 2 months. Wtf did you expect them to do? Lullaby the cat to sleep to make him let go? Although we don't really know the whole story as it usually is with these posts.
Me and my brother had to go through this type of thing. It stopped after my brother committed suicide. I don’t really go to therapy anymore because my mother is afraid I will kill myself. She thinks it was the therapy that pushed him over and not her actions. Some people will never learn. Rip Domm 2001-2020😢 26:22
When you get the chance to make your own calls... look for a good trauma therapist. Exposure therapy suuuucks, Im not here saying it's an easy ride. But I am sure it could start your healing process. TL;DR - I think it could really help you. As a bit of a motivator for you: I lost my mom to suicide as a young child, and never got a chance to properly deal with it. My father... mhm. Wasn't the greatest Dad of all times. As I grew older, I started to notice some really poor behaviours. Agressive ones. Paniced ones. Anxious ones. Often 'without any reason'. Went to a literal dozen of thereopists over the years. Finally, after my doctor and I tried to find 'the right meds' for over four years, I just broke down in her office, saying the golden words of "I am just too broken to be helped". She sent me to a trauma specialist. It was 5 months of very, very hard work, but I got to a place where my mom's death was finally unpacked to the point that I could deal with a few things. Friends noticed changes bit by bit. For example, my inability to deal with sudden negative things. Car window was smashed? Instead of a meltdown and the inability to take action, I sighted, was annoyed at the hassle, and called a company to get it fixed. Things of that nature. Am I right as rain? Nope. Might never be. There are countless triggers in my system that might never be gone, my therapist warned me. But I am so, so much better now. And you deserve to be as well.
23:55 this whole story right here. I couldn't agree more. Children are a massive commitment. If you choose to have them earlier, whether it be from irresponsibility or as an actual choice, you forego things like having a night out. My parents did the exact same thing as OP. They both got PHDs. They got to live in Paris for several years. They traveled. They had fun during their 20's. The lived a little. Once they were both settled down. Had stable jobs and all that. THAT is when they had kids. First my sister when they were around 35 then me four years later.
I would argue that OP is still incredibly lucky to be able to afford to travel because there are plenty of childless people that can barely afford to live in a crappy apartment
@@normalhuman9878 yeah sadly we dont live in those times anymore where you could have both family and wealth. I remember my family went on holidays multiple times a year and we weren't rich, just normal. And now my self i cant do shit because i pay as much rent for a small apartment as friend back then for a huge house and massive garden.
For anyone curious there was an update to the Nair in the conditioner story! OP told her friend that "her mom" stopped her from using it because it smelled funny/wrong...and then the friend blocked OP
"it's a harmless prank!" First of all, it can cause serious issues like chemical burns. Second, the fact her "friend" blocked proves it wasn't a prank but an attempt at revenge.
That one with the cat reminded me of the dog my parents had since before I was born. He started to become aggressive randomly but because my parents were struggling since it was the 2008 crisis they didn't take him to the vet. In to end he ended up backing me, a 6 year old, up into a corner and attacking me. They then had to take me to the hospital and the dog to the vet to be put down. He had so much cancer in his body that it was about 20% of his body weight. He was a small dog thankfully so I was fine but as I am now grown and thinking of studying to be a vet tech I have learned just how much the whole thing could have been avoided. Animal behavior doesn't change like that and it is sad that someone feels like they were responsible for the death of an animal that was probably just hurting. My family now has a current dog that is old and thankfully my parents have listened to me about watching her behavior so something doesn't happen to my little siblings. It is not the animals fault and it is more human to let them go happily and without that pain and to give those around lasting good memories. I am currently working on sketching a tattoo sleeve that I can add to that will have portraits of all my past pets. The one for on my wrist is that first dog I had.
I’m glad you were able to learn and help your parents now with the new dog and protect your siblings! It’s definitely rough when a pet acts out and has to be put down because of a medical issue, and watching for the signs helps both the family and the pet
I feel this for sure. I worked in rescue for 16 years and through that entire period, there was only one dog that had to be put down for behavioral reasons, and of course it ended up being a brain tumor. It wouldn't have been something we could have afforded to deal with, but it was never the dog. She would systematically stalk and attack the person who tried to adopt her, coming up silently behind him. Poor guy tried for more than a month before returning her, and she bit him 5 separate times. We knew it didn't come from her background because we pulled her from a hoarding situation with 7 siblings at 2 months of age, and at worst, one of the other siblings was very timid for most of her life, none were aggressive. On a happier note, the rescue had this fully declawed cat, Tortilla (we did not declaw her, of course). She ran really hot and cold because she was both affectionate and terrified for her safety. If you reached for her, she was liable to go straight for the bite, but if you came up sideways and let her come to you, she was all cuddles and purrs. She was adopted by this tiger mom of a woman. We were careful to provide full disclosure and I was still really worried she'd be back in a week or so to return Tortilla. Low and behold, she came into the store looking really frustrated and came up to me. I was already getting ready to bring up the special contract she signed where she acknowledged the cat was a bite risk. I was so pleasantly surprised to learn that she was just frustrated because she couldn't find a vet who knew how to work with Tortilla to provide her routine care. We gave her contact information for vets we knew who were comfortable working on feral cats. She was very happy to hear it and cheerfully admitted that Tortilla had chomped her, but it hadn't been super hard, and she was fully prepared to help her through the behavior so at least if bites happened, they wouldn't be severe. Tortilla is still happily in that home and it's been several years.
We euthanized one of our dogs, also a small dog, in 2007 because she was also "full of cancer" and had turned very aggressive. When we found out what the situation was and knew we couldn't afford to try to treat the very advanced cancer, we spoiled her for a week and then took for her last vet visit. I'll never forget the look on our other dog's face when we came home without her. He just knew.
The cat suddenly getting aggressive was likely something that needed to be taken to a vet. Many animals often get aggressive when they get old (going senile) and the situation is so unfortunate. It's horrible that it passed, but the fact that it happened out of self-defense from such violent attacks makes it even worse. My cat is getting older and while he's not getting wildly aggressive, he has started to bite more, stay inside more (he's an indoor/outdoor cat), and even needs soft food because he has weaker teeth. I'm so grateful that this is all that has changed, and if it gets more extreme I will force my parents to take him to a vet, which OP's fiancee should have done long ago, especially after OP's hand was mangled and temporarily disabled by an attack. I feel so bad for the cat, he really deserved to have gotten help or been moved to a home that could care for an aggressive pet.
22:00 Can confirm this, please please please, who(m)ever is reading this, if you ever notice your pet, cat or anything else behaving irregularly or downright strange, take it to the vet ASAP. 2 years ago my cat started peeing all over the house, couches, bootrack, floor, rug, bathroom tub. At first we thought it was that we got new litter, nope. Then we went towards thinking that it was stress, because we do also have a dog, though they've lived together 7 years at that point so we didn't see why. All of a sudden he was super docile, didn't eat or leave excrements, solid or liquid. My mom took him to the vet that night, and the vet (who happens to be my sister, coincidently) said that if we didn't bring him that night, he would've passed away in his sleep. He had a UTI and blockage in the urinary tract. I wouldn't have been able to handle losing him that early. That was November 26th 2021, now he is doing well, 9 years old(ish). TL;DR, please bring your animals to the vet the INSTANT that something strange is going on. Losing a few hundred dollars in the emergency room is better than losing your best friend.
To the guy with the micro penis. Please don't beat yourself up about it or sink into depression. You really just met up with the wrong girls. As a gay guy I really go for the smaller penis over the larger and I know of many that feel the same. There are whole blogs on NewTumblr devoted to the small penis and at least a few exhibitionists' that enjoy showing off their smaller endowment. Be proud of what you have, learn to love it and to love yourself.
The cat story hits hard for my. I lost my cat 3 years ago to a brain tumor. For more than 6 months before the end, I knew something was wrong because of her behavior and eating habits changing. She did not become violent, but when you have lived with an animal for over a decade, you know when something is off. After several appointments and then a change in vets, I was finally referred to a neurologist who did an MRI, and that's when the tumor was found, unfortunately too late to really do anything about it. But at least I got to spend a last few weeks with my kitty and not have her be in pain any more. It's so sad that the cat in the story wasn't taken to a vet (so far as we know) when there was such a behavioral change. Maybe nothing could have been done, but maybe there would have been the option for a more peaceful ending for the poor kitty.
The cat would've had to be taken to a vet for the broken jaw, but even then, if it was, they should've investigated further into what caused it since apparently the cat didn't start acting up toward OP before the kitten that was mentioned was introduced into the mix.
20:45; I don't think either Kitty or OP are to blame in this situation, it sounds like the kitty was batteling something undiagnosed, either cat 41ds, Rab1es or even an anurism or Tum0r. Kitty was trying as hard as OP was to get along, but maybe it was OP's scent that Triggered kitties reaction to whatever was wrong. Sometimes scent is a key trigger in somethings & it doesn't sound like Either Kitty or OP wanted to hurt eachother. Condolences for the GF, rip Kitty.
Under American law, the therapist is to never tell anything to anyone unless by court order or if the patient is a danger to themselves or others. So... that mother should never be able to find one. However, there are tales of therapist who failed that legal requirement on Reddit, so she might get lucky.
This was a great…and often horrifying…set of stories, but I just wanted to comment on the one with the mother changing her kid’s therapist because they wouldn’t share what’s meant to be CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION with her. No therapist should agree to her terms, as it’s a profound breach of ethics. My kid knows that I’m here IF they want to talk about anything that came up (and sometimes this happens), but that at no point will I pry into the therapeutic relationship between them. I want them to know that they can talk and complain about anything - even if that thing is me. The therapist isn’t there to be a tool for the mother to pry into her kid’s secrets, and it really makes me angry that she’d treat the situation that way.
With entitled parents and narcissistic parents, this is what therapists are for apparently and must have full control, normally I would say some obvious things like "they should know better" or "wonder why their child/children hate them" but they never learn and are so infatuated with themselves and live in a self-sustaining echo chamber that there is no hope for these people.
That's the way it is with my adult niece (28) and me(39f)/my parents (both 76). My niece is my late sister's daughter, and my sister was a mean drunk at the end of her life to the point that I'm not even sure she _liked_ me at the end, let alone loved me. She used my niece as an emotional punching bag and was very narcissistic and abusive toward her. My sister passed in 2018 from liver failure (cirrhosis) and my niece has been in therapy ever since. She has FLOURISHED and we couldn't be more grateful to her therapist. My parents have happily paid for it so she can continue to go without financial worry. That being said, we NEVER ask her for specifics about what happened during therapy beyond "Was therapy good?" or if we know she's going through a hard time, "Did talking to Melissa help?" She gladly tells us a lot of specifics about what was talked about because she's comfortable doing so, but we never pry for anything more than she volunteers to us because we know it's a privilege for us that she shares anything at all. She also tells me a lot more details than she tells my parents because we are INCREDIBLY close and I had my own issues with her mother at the end which I have confided in her about in return. My parents know she tells me more than them, and they understand and never ask me for details. I'll give them vague answers if she's struggling at the time (so the questions are out of genuine concern, and the answers are enough to let them know that she's okay), but she KNOWS that I give them vague answers. She knows I give vague answers, she's given me permission to give vague answers, and she knows that I'll never violate anything she tells me in confidence. I don't understand why so many families have such deep seeded problems with basic boundaries and mutual respect, but needless to say I feel blessed to have the family that I do in that regard.
As a person who's suffered early erectile dysfunction due to an assault and a surgery, i understand the micro-p guy and agree that it hurts to feel like you're less than others. So many people do put a lot on size and will mock and mistreat you if they realize you have issues downstairs. We're more than just our parts though. Trauma has made things hard for intimacy in general but there are options for it. And people will find you attractive no matter what your issue may be.
It's horrible that it's the norm to reject people for not being born/looking a certain way. I hope you, and OP or anyone else in a similar position, find someone who loves you for who you are. I (a transman) haven't decided yet if I want THE surgery yet, but being 160 centimeter in height is probably also going to give similar problems if I ever started dating again.
@@Nathan_Bookwurm You have your own physical preferences, right? The same thing applies to others. Someone rejecting you politely is not inherently malicious. If you are a trans man of way below average height, you are going to have issues. A cis man of that height would have those issues as well. Focus on other areas of your life, which may compensate for your shortcomings and make you more desirable to cis women. Women are very picky, it is to their benefit, but rarely as visually oriented as males, so I wouldn't rule out a successful relationship in your future. Whiny victimhood is not a winning strategy on the dating market. That's just realistic advice.
I read the update posts on reddit of the hair conditioner one, she played dumb, with things like “my mum says it smells weird, is that normal?” “We tried a patch test on our arms and it removed the hair”, she ended up getting blocked by her, she then contacted the police, but not to press charges, and the police and the offenders mother, had a talk to the offender, and the talk got heated and she ended up hitting a police officer so she’s probably going to go to jail anyway
I saw the thumbnail and was instantly reminded of when I was 12 and my mom had me stop going to therapy cause my therapist was "scolding" my mom ( what she was actually doing was telling my mom to not let me drink alcohol on a daily basis and to not verbally abuse me )
13:40 I'm sorry, but can we - as women - stop believing that feminism is the act of "supporting your fellow woman, no matter what"? Women are people - people make mistakes, they lie, they cheat, they do bad things, they hurt people. Feminism is EQUALITY between men and women; part of that equality is taking responsibility for our own actions as human beings. When someone does something of their own volition, it is not your place as a "feminist" to support the woman just because you're both women; most importantly if what they did was wrong. If we want equality, we should be able to take equal responsibility for the things that we do.
People misinterpreting feminism as "Female superiority" instead of "Gender equality" is a real problem... So much of the "Feminism" happening nowadays is literally just Misandry (aka hatred of men)
I'm glad I'm not alone with a mom interfering with therapy. Mine would try to make me seem like a liar and claim I was just trying to make her look like a bad person (I was like... 9 and trying to share how I felt) I stopped going since my therapist would tell her what we talked about, and then when I was about 12 or so, I went to a different one who thankfully didn't tell my mom anything. Problem was that now, my mom would get mad that I didn't tell her what I talked about. Stopped going again shortly after that and have never regularly gone back for therapy since.
Big appreciation for the person who loves her sister being child-free! Uncles and aunts are very important for children's development. Also, your house turning into a "moshpit of Squishmallows" isn't really a problem in my opinion! :D
Okay complete honesty, when the post about killing the cat came up I was ready to get very angry. Because how in the world could you mess up that severely!? Had it been intentional??? But the description of the injuries, how long it took for their fingers to work properly again... that must have been an absolute nightmare to experience. So much blood, pain, the cat not letting go, panic- I can understand that it ended up the way it did.... damn. Terrifying, horrible. I feel bad for everyone involved in that one 😰
The cat story reminded me of my own kitty. My cat was found under a bridge when she was only two days old. I was in the middle of my vet tech externship at the time so I had easy access to medical care for her. I bottle fed her and basically became her mom. She even sometimes tries suckling from my belly when I'm laying on my side, that's just how much she imprinted on me. However, there's an unintended side effect in that she's terrified of other humans and she tries to murder other cats who come near me. When I was gone for a week and my sister was babysitting, apparently my cat would scratch and bite her and was miserable the entire time. I think I accidentally gave my cat separation anxiety.
If this is a behavior you would like to stop and have your cat be okay around other humans and cats, it is completely treatable over time with patience. There's many articles online that go over the process in detail with suggestions for different living situations and means. I definitely recommend looking into it because there will be times you'll have people over or need someone to take care of her for you, so it would make her life a lot easier to not be scared of everyone. I have a feral rescue myself who does not like other people, but it's turned from complete terror into reluctant acceptance that there will be strangers in her space sometimes. What really helped jump her progress was getting a second cat to be her friend that was a house cat his whole life. Through demonstration she is learning that humans are not that scary. I can only hope she doesn't pick up his hatred of the vacuum. He tries to defend me from it and cried inconsolably outside my bedroom door for an hour after I pulled it in there last week.
That last story was heartbreaking. I can't imagine turning someone down for their "peepee" size. I could imagine wanting some time to process the idea, as it would mean that some expectations will have to change. But the nasty comments are simply not okay. Honestly, I'm glad your reaction to this has been so compassionate. And I agree that therapy will be helpful for OP and others who struggle with self acceptance.
Me neither. It just seems so shallow and meaningless to date someone based on what that person could provide in a sexual relationship. There are other facets of a relationship that don't involve sex, so having a micropenis is by no means a deal breaker, especially if you intend on marrying that person
@@Doryzitter and even then, sexuality is not just coital activity, the good part about sexuality is that it's so rich in diversity with practices and interests, that there are hundreds of other ways to enjoy sexual interaction that don't involve penes-vagina intercourse and are very satisfing as well. (Erotic sensation play, erotic massages, roleplaying, oral, tantric sex, the exploration of different fetiches, even they can add the use of toys if they still want experiencies similar to coital's, as many other activities that people can try and enjoy).
Okay, woman here for you reddit losers /pos I like micropp. I'll admit that. Tiny's pretty cute. I've had partners be all anxious about their size, because a lot of pressure from other men and some women as well makes them feel inferior. I prefer when guys are super open about it. I mean, I may be biased because obviously I'd wanna know, but still. Having a tiny one doesn't need to be a negative. Don't look for someone who tolerates it. Look for someone who thinks it's a plus. Trust me, we exist.
The therapist story has to qualify as Child abuse. Like how can a mother who is identified to be the cause of a child's mental distress be allowed to remove them from that support system
20:50 what i'm betting probably happened is that when the cat was pinned to the floor, his trachea(wind pipe) was accidentally crushed due to the pressure. OP probably wouldn't have noticed because the cat was most likely already fighting and screaming. the cat may have gone into shock as well, which can very quickly kill small animals in high stress situations. a crushed trachea would have prevented the cat from being able to breathe and can also cause an animal to go into shock, especially if he was as stressed out as it sounds like he was. I feel bad for the cat that he felt so unsafe around OP that he continued to lash out to that extent and it's really unfortunate that it ended the way that it did. I wouldn't blame OP at all as one, it is very easy to accidentally kill a housepet that size and two, OP was trying to protect himself from an animal that was actively trying to kill him. I hope that their situation with their fiancé gets better
According to another comment, the autopsy found no trauma on the cat; it just died. Apparently they also had taken it to the vet multiple times to see if there was something wrong, and they were planning on taking it to a cat behavior expert as well
My ex kept switching family counselors, saying they didn't feel right. I finally figured out that she was searching for one that would side with her. Being neutral was not good enough for her.
"Size doesn't matter" story: if this resonates with you, just remember this please. The way you were born is not defective. You are not lesser of a person because of a physical trait. The only thing that has the right to determine your worth is your character. And if someone shows their true character by laughing at you at a vulnerable place or just being plain mean, that isn't a reflection of you. It's a reflection of them. And you have the right to choose not to be around them.
It was SO nice to hear that post about the woman TRULY appreciating her younger sibling who chooses not to have kids....after the post of the person tired of being told they are "Lucky" cause they chose not to have any. Sounds like a dose of what that guy needs.
@@DestinyKiller seriously....i dont understand why american culture seems to always be one of one person on the defensive thinking they are being attacked and someone...just talking......or someone verbally attacking someone and they are like....um i thought we were just talking? ....its sad its almost like the worst parts of the 2 party system have infected basic communication. and the whole lets not talk about politics to avoid argument has just led to people gettting polarized and ignoring elephants in the room. it is what it is is one of my most hated saying....cause that only is so if people ALLOW it. if we actually TRIED to change...it WOULDNT be that way and it would be the way we actually tried....rather than lazily saying it is what it is and allowing the societal problems we have to just grow and continue.....we have to DO something about it eventually....i just think the singular feeling of helplessness against a larger system makes people give up before trying. Before looking for groups of other like minded individuals so maybe actual protests can be made.....though i dont wanna get into how scared i am of how much legitimate non violent protest has been almost.....villified and targeted recently...but i just want the world to try to get along again.....WE ARE ALL HUMANs.....WE ALL BLEED RED. why are we all so divisive?
@@joshuawargo6446 unfortunately confirmation bias exists, echo chambers, and vast generalizations about "the other side" (whoever it may be) has made us more divided before. And anyone leaning to one particular side or another is not going to want to talk when told that the entire "other side" of them just called them nasty names or made nasty accusations. It's a self degrading and defeating circle In short vote me as you're next dictator. I've got plans, just need people
To add to the demon cat story: The cat was declawed, apparently as a requirement for a previous apartment. That could certainly be a reason why the cat was angry.
That would certainly explain some of the biting attacks. When cats are declawed, they no longer have a secure defense and so tend to begin biting and behaving more aggressively when stressed. Jackson Galaxy has made several good videos discussing the psychological / behavioral repercussions of "declawing" cats. Which is a total misnomer as it's not just like claws are removed, their toes are chopped off at their knuckle.
Dear fellow feminists: you DO NOT have to always back your fellow women. You are supposed to back whoever you think is in the right, no matter their gender.
Yeah, it's _equality_ you want, not to flip the inequality over and "get yours." That doesn't help anyone.
(but believe women. they're consistently not believed, therefore not supported.)
Female and if you want equal rights, you get equal responsibility
@@noodlepoodlegirl yeah…that will happen when a small subsect of women lie to ruin a man’s life
Those women who throw around false SA accusations make it 10x harder for actual SA victims to be heard
@@noodlepoodlegirl no. No. I am not going to subscribe to that either, just because I've seen so many women blatantly lie to try to get back at men they dont like about some incredibly disgusting stuff. I'm not always going to believe a woman. Im not going to believe anyone who says anything to discredit someone else unless they have proof. Women are constantly believed when it comes to stuff like SA (not always but most of the time they are), its been that way since the MeToo movement and it's to the point now where lots of women use it as a weapon against innocent men (and sometimes other women!). It doesn't matter if a group of people "are not supported a lot", if someone has no proof about something that has happened and they are making outlandish claims about someone else then I refuse to believe them. Simple as that.
We had a foster cat, who was given to us by another foster and was labeled by her as "extremely aggressive". All the cat did in our apartment was hiding under our bed, which is why I put a bed for it under there, fed her there and let her be. She used her litter box, whenever we weren't in the apartment or at night. It worked.
After a while, I noticed her licking her mouth profusely and only licking the sauce from food, but never taking anything solid. I decided taking her to the vet and this was, when she turned aggressive. She bit and scratched so extremely bad, that bandages and antibiotics were necessary.
At the vet, it was discovered that she was so badly taken care of, that her whole mouth was completely inflamed and filled with pus, teeth were missing because of it and she was in horrible pain the whole time! Once she got painkillers and antibiotics and the inflammation went down, she suddenly came out under the bed and started to open up. She liked sleeping on the couch and getting pets and treats.
Poor kitty! I'm glad her story got a happy ending.
@@Inklicker1999 yes! she even got adopted, despite being an older cat and having already some health issues with her kidneys, no more teeth and almost no tail. She lived like a queen and got pampered a lot! :)
It's amazing how often cats are seen as too aggressive to be adopted when it turns out they have issues with their teeth or gums. I have an impacted wisdom tooth and when it really hurts, I feel like I could rip the whole arm off a person.
@@SwampVVitch unfortunately, this also sometimes goes for other pets too, like dogs, rats etc.
If the behavior of an pet drastically changes, a vet visit should always on top of the list.
I'm sorry about you tooth! I had to get all four removed, because they were way to big for my jaw. Can yours be removed?
That sounds like an issue my car had. Apparently their gums can re-absorb their teeth and it leads to those infection issues. I don’t think there’s anything you can do to prevent it, you just have to get the teeth pulled when it happens
Vet tech here: Heads up folks! A cat suddenly showing aggression can be a sign of visceral pain. A vet visit and diagnostics are very called for. Be safe, y'all ❤
Any sudden change in behaviour is a cause for concern and you should get the animal checked out.
For us, it was the previously skittish cat becoming snuggly all of a sudden. Like, nothing gradual, we'd had him for years at that point and just accepted that maybe he preferred to be left alone with the cat toys apart from around food. Then, one day, he started being snuggly.
Anyway, turned out he'd contracted something, likely from a stray in the neighbourhood. Ended up taking him to the vets every two months for years till he finally passed away just a week ago. (He was happy right up till that couple of days. After that first visit and the drugs kicked in, he went back to normal behaviour before gradually becoming more comfortable around us, you know, spending more time in the same room and eventually snuggling. Maybe covid also had something to do with it: we were around more so we were probably seen as safer. I wasnt at the final vet visit, but apparently he purred so hard in my mum's arms whilst he was going.)
But even if it turns out nothing is wrong, getting them checked out anyway is a good idea. Could be the difference between a long happy life with a peaceful death and a short painful life with a sudden death.
My thought was also the possibility of something neurological. But, I'm not a vet tech, I am a people tech though lol
Especially since he died suddenly like that. For some reason I don't think it was OP's doing, but some kind of illness, especially since he did manage to run away at first.
Very true! I had a cat change her entire personality because there was a tumor pressing on her lower back. It is sad to watch and without going to the vet you don't know what to do.
@@bethanybrookes8479my old pup had to be put down bc he had kidney cancer (i think?), he had been strangely sweet the entire day as though he knew he was gonna die and stayed in my arms while they gave him the shot. i will always miss you, oscar ❤️
Update on the Nair-girl: the police got involved but she didn’t press charges against her former friend. The friend STILL ended up in handcuffs because she attacked the police officer who questioned her about the incident…
I'm sorry, WHAT?
Do you have more detail??
Well, that escalated 😮
oof not making good life choices is she?
The friend sounds like she get help because why would you attack a police officer
@@daisyjoy242 Why would you try to get your best "friend" to lose their hair?! I agree, she needs help, but attacking a cop wasn't the worst thing she did.
Slipping into someone's bed while they are asleep (and cannot object) is a giant invasion of privacy and raises some weirdo flags. Not to be a conspiracy theorist, but it almost sounds like the friend wanted to start some weird drama by invading the couple's room when she knew they were going to be intimate.
Who _wouldn't_ expect random party guests to stay the hell out of a couple's bedroom? I feel like that's a weird thing to need to specify in the first place.
Like, the only possible reason I can think the friend went into the bedroom, is because she was ALSO drunk, and did the wander move.
But even then!
Ikr? She's so stupid or selfish, I really can't decide which.🤦🏼♀️
In actuality, the couple were the ones who were violated.😮
@@lorifiedler13 This, if someone is to be accused of SA It is the friend.
12:00
''I feel assaulted!''
YOU SNUCK INTO THEIR BED WHILE THEY WERE DRUNK AND ASLEEP, THIS IS ENTIRELY YOUR FAULT.
If anything, she assaulted him
she assaulted them
And after being explicitly told not to!
My mom did the same thing. When i eventually found a therapist i liked, she stopped letting me go, saying i was "fixed"
I'm sorry to hear that.. ♥️
I’m sorry that happened to you
The funny thing is that i absolutely did not want to go to therapy, so it took like, 4 therapists before i found one that i was willing to talk to.
When I first started going to therapy, my family would tell me not to say anything bad about the family while I was there. Then they would grill me as soon as I got out about what I said during my visit. I couldn't reap the full benefits of therapy until I moved to the other side of the country and stopped speaking to them on a regular basis.
she's not your mom she's a controlling a-hole
hope you're doing well and get whatever help you need despite this❤🧡💛💚💙💜
THERE'S AN UPDATE ON THE NAIR POST. Her mom found out and flipped her shit because apparently it was a few days before OP's 20th birthday. When OP tried to confront her "friend" she found out she had been blocked everywhere. OP has no idea why this happened cause they've never had any obvious jealousy or boy drama, but admits she's autistic and might not have picked up on it. The most popular theory is that she was jealous of OP's hair (which is beautiful) so she did this in the hopes that OP would show up to the birthday party bald and chemically burned, essentially humiliating her for life out of jealousy. The friend has been cut out and and all of their mutuals are on OP's side OP still has her beautiful hair. 💕
That monster was never really her friend to begin with. Toxic friendships suck.
Not to mention how if that stuff slipped down into her eyes, she would go blind.
Found another update on that one, apparently when the police went to talk to the "friend"' she hit an officer and got arrested despite OP not wanting to press charges in the first place.
@@TwinMamaCrafts
Dang... Does she realize she could've been permanently blinded? I am not as forgiving as her... Though I also kinda see that as not being as stupid. Granted, she wasn't actually blinded, so there is that. Just wow.
@@TwinMamaCrafts I'll call that trash taking itself out. Hopefully she doesn't see sunlight for a few years.
In regards to the therapist story: My mom was incredibly unsure about taking me to therapy and when I did go, she'd always ask about what we talked about. I'd try keep it very simple so as to not give her info I was uncomfortable with but also, that she would be somewhat satisfied.
One day, I was talking to my therapist and at the end of every session, she would take out these cards. My mom walked in on this (everything was done on video-call due to COVID) and immediately started going off at the therapist for using 'Tarot cards', as it's a demonic ritual and we're meant to be a Catholic family. I ended up losing my therapist and even after finding out what the cards actually were, she didn't apologise. Instead, she still felt she did the right thing by being 'concerned'. And when I reached out to my therapist again, I never got a response.
What were the cards? They were *motivation flash cards.* You pick one out and it says a quote to follow your life by, eg. "Don't sweat the small stuff".
Demonic, my ass.
Wow, sorry that happened to you, man. But I find it weird the therapist just ghosted you without even trying to see if you were ok. She acted like you were the one that threw a tantrum on her and not your crazy mother. Idk, it seems off to me that someone in the mental health field would just leave you to deal with that awful situation, no suggestions to make your sessions more secure, re-direct you to someone you can see in person without your mother knowing, just nothing? I am not gonna say you were better off, because you definitely weren't, but its a little suspicious that you got no follow up at all.
@@QuietRage I did try to get into contact with my therapist through email and she was happy to hear from me and said she'd make an appointment with me soon.
That was almost two years ago. Never got another reply from her since and I don't know why.
I can safely say though that I've managed to do pretty well and despite how the cards were dealt (no pun intended), I feel pretty good about my life. As for my mom, it's a bit estranged but at least we have a mutual relationship and have been trying to get closer (I'm okay with this).
Isn't religion great? Looking at some of my broader family, I'll happily admit I'm glad my direct family (my parents, their siblings and my still living grandparents) are the sinful atheists of the bunch.
your mom is so controlling jfc
@@sebastianb.3978 I cant tell if you agree with atheism or not
Fun animal fact: Some corvids (crows, rooks, ravens etc,) can understand physics. Corvids are highly intelligent. They can use tools, solve puzzles, recognise faces, and even understand physics. Tests show that rooks have the same level of understanding of physics as a 6-month-old baby, which is higher than some apes.
Yeah where I live they sometimes drop nuts with hard shells on the streets hoping that the cars passing by would break them. Or even in front of people hoping that they would step on them. They're really amazing birds!
It's a higher understanding than some adults I know! 🤣
@@mostlyfunctional These birds are smarter than me
Yeah but no thumbs, so L
I once watched a magpie try to place a walnut on a sloped roof and every time it would roll away it would catch it and carry it back up and try placing the nut again. I don't think this was the smartest bird in the bunch.
I have seen magpies sliding down roofs in the winter like a slide though.
"You're so lucky you don't have children!"
Yes, Karen. I'm sure your child would be happy to hear that they're in your way.
I guarantee the people that say this are the same people that pressure their own kids into giving them grandchildren so "all of their work wasn't for nothing."
I'm so lucky I don't have them as parents too ☺️ they sound horrible
I don't even want kids but it would definitely feel weird to have someone with kids say that to me
I have a kid and i literally wouldnt ever say this. It makes no sense to me. Sure there may be stuff that's more complicated and some childfree time can be nice but i genuinely enjoy being a parent. I would rather spend my time with her than most people
@@minni_sung9437 those ones aren’t parents they are spawnpoints
As a child that grew up always hearing my parents say “You’re so lucky you don’t have children!” That shit sticks with you and genuinely ruins your self-esteem.
I spent every moment of my childhood trying to be independent and mature in hopes of making my parents proud and happy. Anytime I actually behaved my age (crying over “small” stuff, getting a little cranky, meltdowns, etc.) they would yell at me and tell me that I was always super mature for my age and that I had no reason to behave that way.
Yes, mom. Yes, dad. I *did* have a reason to behave that way. I was a small child, still very much in my developmental stages. I think that’s reason enough to act a little “childish.”
the whiplash from “you’re lucky you don’t have kids” to “why haven’t you given us grandchildren” is going to be severe
I'm in this post and I don't like it
the fact that she slipped into the middle of the bed next to her husband and cozied up to him gently, not disturbing any one, obviously not drunk plopping down in with them and making a ruckus which would woken them up, she meticulously creeped into the bed and was conscious the whole time and didn’t wake the wife up when she felt “violated” and said nothing the night of when confronted. Yeah, all around shady woman and best to not be bothered with any more
that's a very good point! imo she's the one who could be accused of SA, not the other way around
My thoughts exactly! Like who climbs into bed with married couple anyway, especially when told not to. Id bet good money that she wanted this to happen, theres no other explanation. Obviously she wasnt blind drunk, otherwise she wouldnt know what happened there. Some peeps just need constant drama around them, super sad and pathetic.
This situation is one of many that would be considered as EXTREMELY inappropriate if the roles were reversed, but because it's a woman people are willing to back her.
It's so gross on so many levels
Sounds to me like _she_ was the one doing the violating, crawling into someone else's bed like that!
@@bombdotcom2168 You know, you can just call out bad behavior and don't have to make this a useless "what if the roles were reversed thing" which isn't helping anyone
"My mom has changed therapists for me because the previous one refused to tell her what I said during our sessions."
That's... that's the law, op's mom
Well obviously op is property and doesn't have legal rights to privacy /s
oh well that just makes it worst
Yeah, that's the whole point of the therapy. bringing up stuff you wouldn't talk with your parents.
Yeah, was that mom trying to get the therapist fired for a HIPPA violation or something?
GOD WHY ARE PEOPLE LIKE THIS?
Being a feminist also means respecting women enough to hold them to moral, legal, and ethical standards.
Women are just as capable of being wrong or callous or thoughtless or mean as men. So are the non-binary folks.
Because we are all human beings.
What if I identify as a toaster?
@@fedethegreat88 just imagine a toaster burning the toast, not because it's broken, but because it has personal grudges lmao
@@fedethegreat88 transphobes have one joke and it's never funny
@@spiritwolf6498 this comment has me giggling
@fedethegreat88 then you're a human being that identifies as a toaster :) as to whether I accept your toaster-claim depends on how perfectly you make toast :p
You didn't have the update to the nair story. OP had her mother involved too and pretended they were going to use it first, then sent a text to the so called friend and asked if it was supposed to burn since they tried it on their arm. The friend blocked her everywhere after that text. It was also revealed that everything took place a week before OP was supposed to have a birthday party. The friend was jealous of OP's long hair and wanted to ruin her birthday.
holy 💩what a psycho.😱
holy heck, im really glad they're a former friend now, that's some absurdly vindictive behavior.
If someone's jealous BECAUSE of long hair and ATTEMPTS to ruin someone's hair, they are legally obligated to get a beating
I'm pretty sure this legally counts as an attempt at assault or maming someone.
1. This would blind someone. Easily. Instant permanent disability.
2. The "friend" was still handcuffed because she assaulted the police officer I guess?
3. Never tolerate this kind of person. They really will be the death of you because they "didn't know it was DEADLY?!"
About the aggressive cat. We had a neighbor that I visited often as a child. That neighbor had a cat which was always chill, but at some point it started targeting me. Whenever I came over it attacked me and I stopped visiting the neighbor because it caused me too much stress and panic attacks. 2 weeks later the neighbor brought the cat to a vet and it was diagnosed with a huge brain tumor and had to be put down.
Oh god, my auntie’s dog had the same thing. He was a past abused victim before she got him and had some aggression problems. He end up getting stomach cancer and was violent the last month of his life, likely due to the pain/Trama. He wasn’t big and we didn’t think he woold do hospital worthy damage but he got into my sister room/bed one night and bit her face. Her lip was shredded and off to the doctor we went. They put him down a day or so later because they had me (8 ) and my sister (12) living with them and were worried what he might do if left alone with us.
Glad I'm not the only one who was thinking brain tumour
holy shit- my family's old cat bit down on my dads thumb to where he had to go to the hospital- we figured the cat was just aggressive cause he was a stray and then he ran away so uh-
I was thinking the same thing about the brain tumor. The cat may of been attacking him to get his attention for help since the fiancé seemed to not being to aware of the cats behavior.
My first thought was that. Okay, the cat is acting unusually weird, so take it to the vet. Cats are tough and don't show if they're ill, meaning when odd behavior occurs consistently. You go to the vet
I actually asked my therapist once about the lesbian porn stuff. She said, it’s because heterosexual porn can show quite the power dynamic and the same sex feels ‘safer’ and if you are trying to masturbate as a woman, many want to feel comfy. So, no, it does not necessarily mean anything for their sexual orientation. Many women especially enjoy porn between two men, she said, for the same reasons.
Oddly enough, I like heterosexual porn but I’m gay. I always find men attractive, date them and more. Never have with women. But gay porn?!? Idk, it doesn’t get me going at all. *shrug*
This was part of the reason why It took me so long to realize I was gay… it wasn’t until a gay man flirted with me and I giggled like a girl, completely naturally and then my face flushed red from being called a “cute boy” and from embarrassment from giggling like a girl… as time went on, I ended up dating him and my world opened up 😂
Honestly I watch a lot of solo stuff for basically the same reason. So much porn has weird dynamics going on that just ick me out. And honestly the sex usually looks so bad in hetero stuff. No intimacy at all.
Exactly this! I personally enjoy gay romance/smut/etc because the power dynamics feel equal. Also, I like D. Two instead of one? Not a problem! 😂
Thanks for the answer. Tbh I've been wondering what's up with my preference there for a while. Tho I think my sexuality being asexual plays a role in it too. I (as woman) don't wanna be part of the whole thing, and since I can't see myself as man (like, you could imagine yourself being the woman in one of these videos, but by two men that's not really possible) so that makes it more comforting to me.
as for the cat one-as a pet owner, it is your responsibility to make sure that your pet is a safe animal to be around. If you notice sudden changes, please please please take them to the vet. Situations like the one in the video ARE preventable (no hate to the fiancée)
Yep. Most likely that poor cat was suffering, and they did nothing to help him. Must have been an awful period of time for both cat and fiance.
Genuinely, if my cat was starting to be that aggressive towards family, I may love him and be very forgiving of his actions, but I would def force my mom to take him to the vet (I'm 17, so no can do on my own) and get him looked at. I feel like it's a big red flag that the cat owner in the story didn't do that pretty soon after the behaviour got like that. An owner should know their pet and realize when their personality is off. Perhaps the other person dodged a bullet if he didn't marry her.
I had a cat that was super sweet, but a bit jumpy. He purposefully scratched me a few times, but they were completely my fault (I didn't see him and stepped on him lol). But apparently, when my half-sister's dad came to visit, he acted extremely skiddish and aggressive. From all the stories I heard about that man, and how the cat acted while living at his place, I'm convinced he abused the poor thing. Cats just don't act like that unless they're given a reason to. I think OP is purposefully leaving out a lot of info.
No one better than Zwei.
This sounds like what happened with my cat. She was the most loving,sweetest, little cuddly cat; then one day out of the blue she started growling at nothing and attacking me. We took her to the vet and they gave her some medication that helped a little bit, but she just kept getting worse. Not long after, we decided that her quality of life was more important. The vet wanted to do an autopsy, he was afraid it might be rabies. It turned out that she had a tumor in her brain.😿
Girl… you got into his bed non-consensually with a drunk couple, then got angry when he touched her thinking he was touching his wife. This girl is a terrible, terrible woman. As a woman, I don’t back her at all.
Edit: guys why the hell was this an argument? She’s obviously at fault and the people defending her in the replies definitely did not watch the whole thing
It's weird that they even had to say "hey, don't get in bed with us, we might be naked." Isn't "don't get in other people's beds without their knowledge or explicit consent" just a given!?
@@dmgroberts5471 Fr!
People just have no common sense man
Same
Exactly. As a woman, I don't back her either. She went in there, after being asked NOT to, they were both drunk and ASLEEP. Had she not gone in there, nothing would have happened. It's like she was trying to set this drama up which is disgusting and a real shame to victims of SA out there.
My mum literally said to me: “Stop looking so depressed.” Glad you noticed mom, real nice.
"Smile a little!" What if you give me a reason to smile instead of asking me to lie?
My mom literally got angry and abusive af when she thought that I looked "too sad" in the school when she came to pick me up or smth. She said I was doing it on purpose to make her look bad to others by insinuating that I'm sad about her coming to get me. Like the fuck. I tried to explain that I was just tired or it was my normal face but nah. Well, I guess looking backwards I was sad and scared to go home from school because who wouldn't with a psycho like that in your home?
Something similar actually happened to me. A wore a cheer skirt to a cheerleading event, even asked the coach if it was okay. Apparently, mom had “left the paper on the table” for me to “see what I should wear”. Everyone thought I was beautiful and showered me with compliments. That was the start of my decent in self esteem, and later, when I told her I felt like I needed to go to therapy, she was shocked to find out that I only felt sad at her house. She also later made me apologize to the coach, and when I obviously cried, she said I was “Trying to get the teacher on my side”.
My BF keeps telling me I always look mad. I'm not mad, I'm sad. I've been suffering from depression since I was 8.
Damn, same mom. Mine would say she thought I was bipolar and depressed but then wouldn't do anything 😅 Would just say it and go about her day.
I remember my mom threatened taking away therapy from me in 8th grade because I talked to my therapist about her when I “should’ve been talking about [my] anxiety and depression”, as though those weren’t connected 🙄
Sounds like we have identical moms. It's been a cloud over my life since I was about 12. I'm sorry we had to go through that, narc moms can really eff a kid/adult/person up. Trauma siblings!
Wahey! Or.. something 😅 Mine's not quite right either, and to this day she refuses to take the blame for anything. She just starts crying and lobs the blame over on to me. Lady, go tho therapy smh. Been messed up for as long as I can remember, which luckily is to about 4-5yo, where the cutoff is supposed to be, but that still means I've been messed up for over two decades and counting. I just had a very stressful situation at uni, and during the time it occurred, I realized that that paralyzing feeling of just surviving, that was my life, all of it, for as long as I lived with her, and only recently has begun to abate. The stress in uni has passed now, but realizing that now from a healthier frame of reference my life has been a living hell, I am livid. You can't be "less interested in activities than normal" when you've been chronically depressed since about 6 years of age. So of course I never scored well on those depression tests. I wasn't more depressed than usual. It's just that my usual was, well, depressed.
If I knew you, any of you, I'd be reporting your mothers for emotional abuse.
*_NOBODY_*_ is allowed to interfere with the patient-therapist relationship!!!_
That is an *_UNFORGIVABLE Crime_* in my book. Anyone who attempts this is on My Permanent Sh1tlist.
My mum used to use it in arguments like - "oh here's something else for you to go tell your psychologist about"...... like damn man maybe I will
Probably a stupid question at this point, but why is this planet so bad at parenting? 🛸💧
21:44 I'm not a vet, but I definitely agree with that vet student. That cat sounded like it had some kind of brain tumor or something causing the aggressive behavior and sudden death. Also, yeah, it really sucks when your pet doesn't get along with someone and is aggressive towards them, but multiple hospital visits is definitely the time to consider giving up the pet.
It’s also possible that the cat was schizophrenic, and it’s death may have been caused by accidentally breaking a blood vessel or artery
Not a vet though so I have no idea
@@BisexualPlagueDoctor Can cats even get schizophrenia?
@@BisexualPlagueDoctor do you even know what schizophrenia is?
@@UwUImShio yes, it causes paranoia, and usually hallucinations and voices in someone’s head, it can make someone think everyone is against them, make them terrified or aggressive, and usually is resolvable via medicine, but it can be hard to make someone use medication because they may believe the doctor is trying to hurt them.
@@skygard49 I got curious so I searched, and yes, they actually can! It's called Feline Schizophrenia, also known as Feline Hyperesthesia
Update on the cheating "friend" with the 50 yr old man: He was not only caught with op's former friend, but some other women. Homewrecker broke down in tears bc she thought apparently she was the only one for some weird reason??? Op and their friend group basically disowned toxic former friend bc they were worried if she was going to try to steal their boyfriends.
Lost Genre has the full update on the story, his and Mark Narrations almost always have the full scoop if ya'll wanna check them out
I feel bad for that girl. She was 20, and clearly had deep-rooted self-esteem issues (and potentially daddy issues). A 50 year old would be aware of that and exploit it. She probably really believed that she was the only mistress. I hate guys like that.
TBH to go for a married person you have to have some pretty severe holes in your self esteem. You're willing to be second. Nevermind that he was literally twice her age and she was so inexperienced with life she had no reference points; it's possible she never even had a real relationship before. It is no surprise that a cheater knew exactly what lies to say to convince her that she was special and the only one, despite the glaring evidence to the contrary. Being afraid to leave your family and being trapped in an unhappy, sexless marriage is the evergreen story that frankly is believable. Girl was barely 2 years legal, it's insane to put half the blame on her. Hope she was able to move forward from it and grow.
Let's be honest, the girl is hardly a homewrecker. That home was already wrecked. People have some strange lack of empathy.
The fact some people see feminism as "you have to believe women and back them up always" is so annoying.
Edit: To be clear, what that lady did was wrong, obviously. I just see that attitude a lot, not that is applies 100% here.
I mean, back them up if they're in the right, but don't just assume they are.
The couple literally told her "don't climb into our bed, cuz we might do stuff together and want to be alone for that." She ignored it and went anyway and in the dark they drunkenly did stuff and she's like shocked pikachu face that something actually happened. That's on her for ignoring the warning to stay out of the married couple's bed.
Fact! (And I'm a woman.)
Feminist here and she shouldn’t have gone into a bed with a naked drunk married couple.
But yeah, believe women.
The one at 13:50 was ridiculous, being a feminist does not require you validate the poor behaviour of another woman just because they are a woman. It means standing up for your fellow women when they are in the right and not backing down at such a time.
^its about backing up anyone who is in the right and holding everyone accountable for their actions if they were in the wrong.
If anything, it's the opposite. Backing a woman just for being a woman is sexist as all hell and completely against the equality feminism is trying to achieve.
@@FaerieLokiexactly, for instance when a man on the internet is being a total nutjob, you won’t see any (sane) men backing him up
Exactly. Those who say a woman is always right just because she is a woman are radical feminists. Extremists.
I might just be overthinking this, but it feels like the “friend” was trying to break up the relationship
I've got news for the mom of therapy teen: The new therapist isn't going to tell you shit. Its not the fifties anymore, therapists, psychologists, psychiatrists all function under pretty strict confidentiality that can only be broken if someone is a threat to themselves or other people.
I just wanna thank you for giving a trigger warning for the S/A. I’m a sexual assault survivor so it really means a lot. Thank you Click.
Same, I am relly happy that I could avoid that story and safe myself from getting anxious. Thank you clik!
Same man
I hope you can get the help you need to recover from something so traumatic
I'm very happy for you. Hoping you get/got the help you need and do/are doing better. Best of luck to you. It's always relieving to even just see victims online that have survived and can tell their story. Makes me a little less scared.
Also trying to recover being a rxpe survivor so content warning are very important and i always appreciate the folks that take the time to ensure everyone is comfortable and feels safe ❤ sending much love to all of us who survived ❤
23:33 That girl's Dad, assuming he even heard her, was just like: "Oh shit, she's doing stuff to her parts! What do I do? Should I just sneak out the house?" (bumps into kitchen chair) "Oh shit, now she knows I'm here! If I don't go and say hi, she'll know I know...shit, I have to say hi, get out of here, then pretend it never happened. Oh God, what if she wants to talk about it!?"
Like Father, like Daughter.
PLEASE tell me you're a writer! I'm embarrassed and also cracking up reading your comment!
@@noodlepoodlegirl Thank you. As a matter of fact, I do write.
Once, the first time a particular bf and I did the naughties, he had...... let's call it performance anxiety. He was absolutely mortified. Being "offended" or whatever genuinely did not occur to me in that moment. I was just happy to be with him, and I reassured him repeatedly that I really was just content to be with him -- and that reassurance lead to other forms of... adult fun time. If anything, I think that event brought us closer. I didn't know it at the time but I'm demisexual/gray-ace; for me, that means that I don't feel attraction unless I have an emotional connection with someone, and even then most of the time I prefer just snuggling or being around my partner. Intimacy isn't just naughties, people
you said this like OT
Exactly also Grey Ace Demi
It would be nice if the OP in that story could find a partner who would prefer a micro p because of painful fun time with someone who's average size or larger. I think women have bought into the hype that bigger is better, but in this instance that's not necessarily the case.
one time my mom literally threw a tantrum and sobbed in my face because she thought it was unfair that I refused to tell her what I talked to with my therapist. she kept insisting that she was "just worried for me" and that me not telling her anything meant I didn't trust her. luckily she didn't try to stop me from seeing my therapist, but I feel like it was a close call. parents can be wild sometimes
reminds me of the time a few years ago i asked my mother if i could talk to a therapist and she laughed and made fun of it for a while. Now my mother thinks i have depression and keeps trying to get me to talk to one... the irony
I actually don’t have therapy. I probably should since at one point I had a panic attack and woke up with a knife in my hand. But I never told them that. Because it never happened again. But still. I actually snapped at my mom before. Instead. She had me go to a psychiatrist. But has sat in on all of my appointments. Either that or has had my dad do that. One thing about them. They are against the LGBT community. And I’m gay and a trans female. So I can’t say what’s actually wrong with me. So basically these sessions have been more for them than for me. Then again. I’ve found out that I’m autistic. So that’s a good thing. But still.
@@shadowking278 Tbh if your therapjst knew you were a fem, the autism diagnosis would have probably taken a lot longer to get.
Parents having their OWN therapy sessions may not be a bad idea...
Also, the therapist never brought up having a private session...for ANY of the participants? REALLY? Honestly, if it were me, I'd mention it to an online/free service & see what their take on it was, or talk to a school counselor about it. A "second opinion" of sorts.
What I don't understand is people don't seem to realize if you don't push your kid to talk to you. , there's a good chance that they may feel comfortable to talk to you eventually. I know when I have a kid someday, and if they ever need therapy, I'm not going to pry. I'm just going to ask if everything's ok, how did it go, and move on from that. if they want to talk to me then they're more than welcome to, but i'm not entitled to their story
It definitely sounded like the cat needed a full vet work up before the 1st attack, when he went from accepting OP to suddenly loathing and fearing him after they got the new kitten(yes some behavior issues will arise when Introducing a new animal but in theory shouldn't effect already established human relationships) it really sounds like it was a in balance in the brain or maybe something else happening on a biological level effecting him.
The fact that it died so suddenly makes me think it could have been something like a brain tumor or something even.
Exactly. Change in behavior, that's a vet visit. Animals don't change their habits unless something causes them to. If your animals is doing something different, there's a reason why.
As someone who has grown up with cats their entire life, exactly this, the fact that the cat owner didn't ever take the cat to the vet after such a stark change in personality and behavior is extremely disheartening and frankly not cool. One of my grandma's dogs had a similar thing happen to her and they took the dog in for a vet check and found a large tumor in her.
I've read some comments on videos with cats suddenly becoming extremely aggressive and hospitalizing people that those cats could actually be in incredible pain. Like they're in so much pain they become distressed and want to defend themselves and will attack anything. I've also seen people say that sometimes pets could have bad tempers to certain groups of people like men, children etc because of something bad in the past that they have experienced with that certain group
I was thinking that there must have been some pre-existing condition, as well. Maybe an undetected illness, chronic pain, or like you said: a brain imbalance or something. That cat wasn't happy, not a good quality of life.
The Therapy story particularly set me off. I know several professional psychologists, and know enough to know that 'what happens in therapy stays in therapy' isn't just a catchy cliche, it's CRITICAL TO THE PATIENT-THERAPIST RELATIONSHIP and ENSHRINED IN LAW. Had the therapist talked about it, she would almost certainly lose her license in VERY short order.
Tldr: HIPAA laws are amazing for you
I get seriously irked by parents who think they have a right to know what was talked about in their child's therapy session. It's not your business, and the parents that actively look for these things are the controlling type and for sure know in the back of their minds that they're the reason their kid goes to therapy
The role of a therapist is to focus _on the patient_ and what _the patient_ is saying, without judging the patient.
Breaching confidence is the Height of Unprofessionalism, if not a reportable offense to a state ombudsman.
Any parent who is worried about "what their child is saying in therapy" about them _has just told me that they _*_ARE GUILTY_*_ of something._
The only thing a parent should hear is if the child is legitimately messed up, like 'needs to be watched' bad.
Cmiiw, but this can only be done if the child consented about the information being given to their parents right?
Not to mention it’s very illegal in the USA for a therapist to do that!
I never asked my kids' therapists what was talked about in my absence. Sometimes a person just needs to vent with impunity!
The "changing therapist" story at around 26 minutes in: The one and only time I have gone to a therapy session was because my mom wanted to "set me straight", aka making the therapist change my mind so I would admit that my mom was right about some things in her behavior. The whole session ended up with the therapist actually getting increasingly mad at my mom xD no therapy ever for me again
Your mom might be a narcissist, borderline personality is also on the table. I dont know how old you are or if you still live at home, but I think youre better off knowing that anyway. Read up, the interweb is full of good knowledge and advice on how to act around these guys. I wish you luck, if you need help, Im here. (Your name gave me the giggles and flashbacks to 90s radio, fellow countryman..)
Gotta love when parents think therapy is just a way to pay someone to tell their child the parent's right
for a second there i thought she was trying to MAKE you straight after coming out 😅
If I knew you, I'd be reporting your mother for emotional abuse.
*_NOBODY_*_ is allowed to interfere with the patient-therapist relationship!!!_
That is an *_UNFORGIVABLE Crime_* in my book. Anyone who attempts this is on My Permanent Sh1tlist.
Makes it sound like you are in the right with your feelings 😊
As a transgender man, I really related to the man who struggled with his micro size. It's hard finding someone to accept you and your body. It's hard because you don't feel like a "real man" (whatever that is) and it's hard when you feel defective.
Sometimes life just is hard, and people are cruel and make it harder than it needs to be.
you are so cool
I’m non-binary and have been dealing with really bad chest dysphoria lately and I also really related with that post a lot. Guess I’m some way I’m glad to see I’m not the only one.
Having dated a trans man and a trans woman, the struggle is really real. I did my best to be a supportive and loving partner to both of them. I'm part of the LGBTQIA family as well. I've never understood the preoccupation people have with what someone's genitals are, what they look like, and how big/small/"realistic" they are. Intimacy is so much more than fucking.
I think it would be nice to find a partner who is looking for more other things than the traditional way, but it's also always good to find someone that will allow experimenting, as a lot of guys with micro's are often treated like the guy in the story and have had little experience and wanna try a lot of things they previously never got to try, like doing it the traditional way once just to see what it's like, or maybe even more than once, on occasion, with a toy involved as well while also being very open to experiment for her pleasure.
We all want to feel like fully functional people and not feel defect, so being open to things like that can be more important than people might realize.
I can see the mood dying completely after your partner says "no, that's not working" and that can even make it harder than it necessarily had to be, and in some smaller guys cases could be what leads to it not working at all just because they didn't get the time to figure out their position or moves etc.
I want you to know that, there are people out there who will accept you for who you are no matter what
You're not supposed to ALWAYS believe women BLINDLY, you're just supposed to make it comfortable for the victim to speak up and not say things like "you asked for it/you dressed the wrong way" etc and provide an atmopshere where they can share their story.
Ok, but in the context of the story, the "victim" was in the wrong here. She's telling her "story" and ruining an innocent man's life. =/
Exactly. Blindly believing women basically reverses the inequality, the whole thing feminists fight with. I have pretty often heard the stories where feminists go too far, instead of trying to make women and men equal, they make women better. You should support women, but only if they're right. In the example talked about in the video there is no problem in taking the man's side, because he was right.
Yes, it's also important to make sure the "victim" is actually a victim without invalidating them during the process in the more likely instance that they are a victim.
If someone told me they slipped in my bed while I and they were drunk, after I specifically said to stay out, and I touched them, thinking they were my SO, and they felt violated...I would totally feel like projection going on, as nah...I would be the victim.
She don't even get what she did is literally what she claims happened to her. She's just trying to make the claim first so he will look like he's copying if he does now.
@@Rhaenarysthere is a guy who is in jail and has to pay child support to a girl who, at the the was underage, who slipped into his bed while he was black out drunk, got him hard, had sex with him and got pregnant because of it. He never consented...
The way they described their self-defense against the cat made me go "Huh. I don't think that would have been enough to kill the cat."
Like, cats aren't made of marshmallows. They have bones like humans do. They can definitely withstand someone pinning them to the ground (within reasonable limits, of course). The fact that he suddenly died like that definitely points to some illness, and an illness would absolutely explain the behavior.
I hope they saw the comment by the vet student and went for the autopsy.
Could be something undetected like a tumor and with the pinning down the tumor or a blood vessel burst and the cat passed away.
OR it couldve been rabies.
@@unevennoble9363 rabies kills in a few days, not over months, it was most likely a brain tumor or something similar that was influencing everything
Exactly what I thought, I volunteer at a kitten shelter and had basically the same incident happen once, it was some kind of illness or neurological problem I think, the cat was very aggressive for about 1-2 weeks and then she just died… I hope they found out what caused the cat’s death…
my cats have fallen badly before.
and one was dipped in motor oil (we think they tried to set him in fire)
they're shockingly resilient.
my youngest had a severe eye infection as a kitten, she ended up with an ulcer on her eye and she almost needed it removed. she's now fully healed and her eyes are perfect.
my eldest two are both 15, and one is in spectacular health, the other is starting to succumb to old age but he's still kicking.
another one of my cats had cancer. but after having his eye removed he's perfectly fine.
unless that cat was super ill, it wouldn't've died from what op said. it reminds me of my old cat, who got hit by my moms car, then ran off and fell off a fence, and then started dying. the vets didn't know why she was dying. it was mostly just her being hella old.
'I feel like a bad feminist because we're supposed to believe all women 100% of the time, but now that my husband is the one being accused I find that I do NOT in fact believe her because she did something we EXPLICITLY told her NOT to do.'
My therapist quit 😗 we showed up at her office for my appointment and it was cleaned out. I was thirteen and even now as an adult, i dont know why. To make matters worse, my last appointment with her was discussing my abandonment issues. I wish her well and hope nothing bad happened.
Sheesh... I'm sorry for being intrusive but you don't have her name what soever? Maybe as a business card or on some medical papers you own?
She's now living in Albuquerque under Witness protection lol. That's the only way I can think she'd just close shop without sending a notice to her patients. Usually it's just a "I'm outta here, here's a referral to my colleague." but it's usually something.
@@elaexplorer damn I wonder what happened that they needed to be under Witness Protection
@@yamataichul Lol no, it was so long ago, the paperwork is long gone.
i feel like there might be some gaslighting from your parents/ legal guardian (money paid to therapist) or
hanlon's razor- your therapist died, or got evicted from her office over unpaid rent.
26:02 My mom used to call my therapist multiple times a week, demanding that we talk about something, or reporting a change in my behavior, and ALWAYS DEMANDING that my therapist tell her what we talked about in session. Every therapist I've ever had, up until I turned 18. Five therapists, all fending off my mom. Bless them, honestly.
Edit: My mom got SO ANGRY when I was diagnosed with PTSD. I was 15, maybe 14, and she started believing I was lying to my therapist and psychiatrist then.
I'm glad they stood up for you. I didn't get my CPTSD diagnosis until I was 25, and I'm not sure I'm done grieving for my lost childhood yet, let alone being able to work through the issues. At least mine was the more kind of distant neglectful than helicopter neglectful, so she didn't actively bother me like it sounds yours did with the therapist. I hope you've gotten away and can actually build your life to some degree. I don't know exactly what you went through, but I know for a fact that it hurt. And then not being believed about being in pain? That hurts even more.
Well, she certainly made it easy for them to figure out where your issues where coming from.
The role of a therapist is to focus _on the patient_ and what _the patient_ is saying, without judging the patient.
Breaching confidence is the Height of Unprofessionalism, if not a reportable offense to a state ombudsman.
Any parent who is worried about "what their child is saying in therapy" about them _has just told me that they _*_ARE GUILTY_*_ of something._
Frankly, if I knew your family and found out this was going on, I'd be reporting your "mother" to the authorities.
My previous psychiatrist saw my mom as well and she got angry when he went off on her because she hand wanted one of my brothers stealing my adhd meds and then lied to me about giving him money and paying his bills, but I found out anyway and felt completely betrayed. The doctor was very angry and read her the riot act, but I think she was afraid I or the doc would press charges and didn't try to get in the way of my treatment or stop seeing the doctor herself, but she hated the doctor after that.
@@madalice5134 In your case, that was a breach of ethics on that psychiatrist's part. He probably shouldn't have been seeing both of you if he couldn't keep confidentiality and impartiality for both of you.
I literally went thru 5 therapists because “they took my side”, up to and including one who went off on my Dad with “I have never met anyone who so desired to label and categorize their children” and “you’re more emotionally intelligent than he will ever be” when I was like 13 (spoiler, I was in constant hypervigilance from trauma and not, actually, emotionally intelligent, I was just perpetually self-critical and shamed into having to manage everyone *elses* emotions towards me)
The one about a childless sister. Had a lot of people tell me over and over again "Why aren't you a parent? You'd be great at it! You are so good with kids."
I always tell them, no I'm not great with kids. I'm fun to be around for a short period of time, the best part of interacting with your kids is knowing when I leave they stay with YOU and I don't have to deal with them when they are being annoying.
Thank goodness, when you reach a certain age, @ least for women, they stop asking. They Also stopped asking me when I replied, "Yes, I DO love children. I also love monkeys. That doesn't mean I want them in my house."
UTTERLY priceless facial expressions.
@@echognomecal6742Oh I’m gonna use this🤣
Update about the cat story: OP added that the cat was indeed checked up by a vet several times, and was intended to be brought to a behaviourist after the wedding, his sister is a vet too and checked him when she was guarding him. They never found anything. The necropsy was performed, he updated when he didn't had all the details, just that no trauma was found on the cat.
One comment say they were vet themselves, and that cats can have a cardiac malformation that can kill them pretty much anytime, sometimes just by walking, and is not detected easily. Anyways, he doesn't seem to ahve really killed the cat, it's just a weird coincidence ^^'
If it was a heart condition that caused it I'm sorry but yeah he did kill it, the compression on the chest and high BP/HR of the situation (when coupled with the restricted movement) would mean that without the dude and his actions it would be alive. I'm not saying he should feel bad, it was defense against effectively a wild aggressive animal he was perfectly right to do what he did but I don't think we should pretend that what he did didn't have anything to do with the cats passiv, it was unfortunately necessary but yeah
@@ConstantChaos1 'Heart malformation' is way too vague to determine that his actions had anything to do with it. There are plenty where sudden compression wouldn't mean a thing, but just regular use could open a hole that REALLY shouldn't be there or the like.
@@ConstantChaos1could be that, could also be from jumping into the cupboard
Can doesn't mean the cat had the malformation. It's far more likely the cat died from sheer stress. Lots of animals can die from stress and that cat was put under a lot of it over a long period of time. Convincing yourself it was some unproven medical issue may be more comfortable but I think it's better long term to acknowledge the ways the whole situation was mishandled due to inexperience. It wasn't intentional and they're not some evil pet killer and there's not much they can do about what's already happened but they can also learn what could be done better if they find themselves encountering a similar situation in the future.
I'm very worried about the OP because this sounds a lot like rabies to me
Re: The guy who thought he killed his fiancé's cat. Yeah absolutely there was some health issue with that cat. I'm amazed in no part of the story did they ask a vet what could be wrong. I definitely think the cat died of the underlying health issue, and I'm shocked that the woman who cared so much for the cat didn't even consider asking a vet to have the cat checked out before that point.
Oh and side note, I also own bite-proof gloves specifically for cats. But that's because we regularly do TNR on ferals. None of our pet cats need the bite proof gloves.
He have bite proof gloved for the cats. But it's only for getting them to the vets. We try our best to make is as stress free and untraumatic as possible, and even leave the carrier out full time (they sleep in it). But I swear they are telepathic: the only time we need them in there, and they'll refuse to go in. Heck, they could be sleeping quite happily in the carrier, and on any other day, you could approach them just fine and even shut them in without issue. But when we need to take them to the vets, the minute they hear you're footstep enter the room, they wake up and scarper from the carrier.
Then it's a case of scooping and placing them in, and we'll, Fred is a pretty big cat, he has the claws to match, and he looks after those claws. They're sharp. And he has a full mouth of pretty sharp teeth (he prefers the biscuits over the wet food.) So if its his turn, unfortunately, the gloves have to come out.
The therapist thing is real, man. I grew up with undiagnosed autism, adhd, and learning disabilities - as well as bullied by EVERYONE - so by high school i was a traumatized, angsty ball of anger who couldn't figure out how to make anyone understand me. Mom finally had enough and sent me to a therapist, who scolded me for refusing to talk at first, then when I did open up, she told my mother everything, who punished me for everything from the bad words i said during sessions to infringements I may have admitted to. Between that and the school counselor who made me share personal shit in a room full of my bullies for them to spread around the school, I didn't go back to therapy until I was nearly 30 years old.
Thats highly unethical, highly isnt even strong enough word for it. Your mom doesnt sound awesome either.. Im so sorry that all the adults failed you, thats unfair and unfortunate. I hope you have found some peace of mind and good coping mechanisms, you are worth it. As a fellow ADD-scatterbrain, I wish you all the best.
Ps. Here you can be yourself, thats why we have the best community in the whole web!
Thats makes me rage.
@@janemiettinen5176 Illegal, possibly?
@@youtubeuniversity3638 At least in some countries. Also, highly unprofessional, at least the two who had it as a job.
This is illegal in the United States! This is a violation of HIPAA.
Unfortunately, minors can’t do much about situations like this, since they generally can’t afford to sue a physician on their own without parental assistance.
I’m so sorry you had such an awful experience with therapy.
As someone who grew up with ADHD and autism that went undiagnosed until I was 17, I understand feeling angry and confused about why people didn’t understand me and bullied me.
I hope you’re doing better now and you have a strong support system that respects your privacy and treats you right.
Can’t believe Click showers with his clothes off. I’m expecting a 4 hour apology video with tears by next week. How could you do this to us 😔
It's the Click. Everything he does, he does it in the most cursed way possible. It's why we subbed to his channel. Did you expect anything less? Shame... :( Lol.
I thought he would be a never-nude, like David Cross’ character in Arrested Development. He showered in daisy dukes :)
He’s also wasting water by doing this, since if he showered with them on *like a normal person,* then his clothes would be washed at the same time, and he wouldn’t have to wash them separately.
I know right, the perversion! Showing without clothes! OMG! I just can't right now!
You guys take showers?
Crazy cat lady here: this person was actually cleaning the litterbox and extremely happy when the cat showed affection for a few seconds. He only ever "hurt" the cat while being very viciously attacked by it and even then only enough to get the cat to stop destroying his hand or leg. That's more patience and understanding than most people would have under these circumstances.
Yeah, it’s incorrect to say “you should never hurt another animal” because if you’re being violently attacked by an animal, and you can’t get away, you can only do so much to defend yourself. This sounds like a fight-to-the-death on the cat’s part and is not normal whatsoever. I feel so bad for the cat and really feel for OP. It hurt so much to listen to that story because something was clearly wrong
As someone studying for a masters in rehabilitation counseling, that new therapist is going to tell the parents the exact same thing. And if they do agree without the child's input, that's unethical and a red flag.
I honestly hope they'll agree but only tell them irrelevant/not exactly true things.
I'm not one for lying if it's not needed, but even my therapist told me to lie to my father if I need a break and get out of the house (my father and I are taking care of my mom after she had a stroke but he's not there that much, doest do any house work, and gets angry pretty easily and shouts a lot)
@@zuzanabartekova4823 I'm sorry, that sounds really hard. I wish you good luck and your mom a quick recovery.
@@IhaveALLtheavocados thanks ❤️
i, too, shower naked. i never felt comfortable enough to say it out loud, or even type it. i always had a fear of being judged about it. but thanks to you Click, i feel safe enough to write this comment.
I'm not saying I agree with it, you do you, I guess. Just don't go forcing your beliefs on me. I'm a proud American shower-clothes wearer, through and through.
so do I... I'm glad I'm not alone...
Filthy!
I do too man, we’re all here to support you
I didn't know shower clothes existed? How would you reach stuff?
My mom started taking me to her own therapist. Every week I would suffer the ride home being berated for something I had said the week prior. I grew up and told someone about it amd was told that therapist could have lost her license for that.
Not "could" have--SHOULD have. If that therapist is still practicing, i would try reporting them if i were you
Hell, she should have lost her license for agreeing to see you at all. A therapist shouldn't see both parent and child, that all but guarantees spilling shit they say about one another.
Some abusers only agree to therapy in order to validate their abusiveness. They think the therapist will convince their victims that they are in the right and get mad when it doesn't happen. They also don't understand "privacy" either, yet another reason why they change/get rid of therapist because they believe they have a right to know what their victim said.
My mom couldn't fire my therapist because it was mandated that I see one by DCFS (Pretty much CPS) but she often ignored a lot of the clear signs of mental illness I had, lied to my therapist to get me out of being taken to the hospital and accused me of lying to my therapist about how severe my mental illness was-
In reality, I was opening up to my therapist and telling him that I felt I really needed help and she prevented me possibly being able to meet with a psychiatrist about medication or specific therapy to help me get better.
Narcissistic parents are just the worst. They're the worst. They can't handle imperfections in themselves, nor in their children so when the children become mentally ill as a result of their awful behavior they refuse to let them get help. A lot of the time it's because they don't want a child that can fight back against them in an argument. It sucks living with them.
Breaching confidence is the Height of Unprofessionalism, if not an actual legal offense.
Any parent who is worried about "what their child is saying in therapy" about them _has just told me that they _*_ARE GUILTY_*_ of something._
I hope you have recovered and cut off so contact with that b1tch that birthed you, because it sounds like that's all she did. Abusive cvnt…
I feel that. My father’s a narcissist, physically abused me growing up and manipulated me and others into never letting it get out. I was diagnosed on my parents request with ADHD and social anxiety, and potential Autism but they didnt look into that (it took 3 diagnoses and potential diagnoses to explain my behavioural issues) and forced to take ADHD pills, which, at the time, were not well researched and not much was known about them so I was on concerta at a really high dose as a physically underweight 8 year old, which made me sick. I told them it made me sick and they continued to force me to take it. I fully believe that they were trying to cover up clear symptoms of child abuse by calling it ADHD and making it look like they were taking care of it by having me on that medication. At this point bith my therapist and my family doctor, who was part of prescribing that ADHD medication to me when I was a child, are relatively convinced I have Complex PTSD due to solely what my parents did to me in my childhood and probably linked to and worstened by being forced to take medication that made me sick and was actually unhealthy and potentially even dangerous to me (concerta ruins your appetite and makes you lose weight, and I was already dangerously underweight, not due to an eating disorder or anything but due to likely stress and the fact that we never really had much food in the house and when we had meals the portions were too small and we were told to satiate our appetites by finding or making more food after dinner though there was no food like that in the house). I’m in my 20s now and i dont speak to my father anymore, in fact, I dont consider him my father. I live on my own, hours away from my home town, I feed myself with the amount of food I need, i am still underweight to this day, but my doctor has accepted that that’s just the way I am now and will likely always be. Im on a waiting list to see a psychologist or psychiatrist who can diagnose me with potential C-PTSD and hopefully clear the air about that misdiagnosis in my childhood
@@cheesethekoala8756 I wish for your Good Health and Quick Recovery!
You. Deserve. To. Be. Well.
@@cheesethekoala8756 Goddamn- I really hope you can get the help you need because it sounds like you've been through hell
@@cheesethekoala8756 that's really messed up, you seriously didn't deserve any of that. Glad you're away from them and finally starting to get some real help
I also have complex PTSD, and yeah that kinda shit you describe basically guarantees C-PTSD tbh
I love how this subreddit flips between the three sides of completely horrible and awful, then something so embarrassing I feel embarrassed for the poster, and then something so heartwarming that revives my faith in humanity. Until I remember my life goals, that is.
I swear I've probably made Click over a thousand dollars from how often I watch and rewatch his videos.
same. it doth please the ADHD
Same tbh adhd go brrrrr
Same. it does keep the boredom away.
It's a little bit of everything, all of the time, apathy's a tragedy and boredom is a crime
You would have to watch about 50,000 videos to make him that much a truly devoted fan
same it please adhd and make me laugh :D
For the cat one, I'm almost certain that cat had some disease. Cats will often become aggressive if they're in pain and suffering. It's not always obvious that they're sick, but the fact that they died so easily, you barely put pressure on them, tells me there was something else going on with them. Also the fact that the bites caused a such bad infection probably means that they were sick.
Edit: oh yeah, someone mentioned that
It sounds like the cat was seen by a vet over the broken jaw. Considering that and the fact that the cat only hid from the author and only attacked them when they got too close. I don't think the person is telling the whole truth.
@@xxdeviousv2 now that you say that you’re right.
I feel so bad for the girl dating that plus sized girl and her friends are bullying her partner. It’s terrible to see someone you love be treated so poorly, especially by people you held important to you. But it also sucks because the way they talked implied their friends were all okay with her dating a girl. Even a younger generation has homophones scattered around and it’s so hard to find a friends group willing to accept you for who you are especially when it comes to lgbt issues. She has to choose between dropping toxic friends that were otherwise willing to accept her for who she is, or keeping them around and walk on eggshells knowing you couldn’t include all the people you love into one event because the person you’re dating will be trash talked. It’s so hard to start from scratch and find more people willing to accept you as an lgbt person, and I just feel so bad for her. I’ve been through similar things and I just hope she finds a good friend group that cares about her and won’t shame her girlfriend for being overweight.
I've had partners whose friends acted that way. Even as grown ass adults and not stupid teenagers playing mean girls. Ruined more than one relationship because their friends or family were "embarrassed". 🤷
Really sucks to have to start again cause they are "accepting" but still somehow exclude part of the demographic of being included and accepted.
Gotta be honest: I finally managed to make myself shower after having a pretty long depressive episodes, and hearing click’s normal intro (the you smell good today part) really made my day today.
congratulations 🎉🎉🎉 keep up the good work
Same here, took my first proper shower (that wasn't just a thirty second pits and bits rinse at least) yesterday since a family members funeral. Good on you for managing that, depressive episodes suck but I hope things start looking up for you. You aren't alone.
congrats! i struggle with the same thing a lot but with brushing my teeth instead of showering, but im slowly getting better. i hope things improve more for you soon
That's great for you! I've had trouble taking showers in the past myself, I still only do it weekly, sometimes a week passes, but it's gotten better. I believe in you too. And, look, don't be ashamed if your depression holds you back. If I may suggest something, if taking a shower is too much, it's okay to just take wet wipes or wet some paper and clean under armpits and such places =) It's completely understandable.
Excellent! I hope you're proud of yourself because I am proud of you 😊
General rule of life: don't make fun of or laugh at people for things they have no control over.
Though 9/10 you do have control over your weight so while I definitely disagree with that mean girl mentaility being fat isn’t the picture of health.
@@rhaeasoul8531 neither's being thin
Neither is healthy but weight in general is something most people have control.
@@rhaeasoul8531 there talking about ummmm……..boy parts
@@rhaeasoul8531 hypothyroidism,
sleep apnea, Diabetes type 1, Diabetes type 2, arteriosclerosis,
Polycystic ovary syndrome, hyperthyroidism, cancer, pulmonary cachexia, birth control, anorexia and
intestinal diseases have left the chat
-just to name a few that cause either underweight or overweight or sometimes can be cause of both-
12:50 thats like walking into a nudist beach and getting pissed that people aren't wearing bathing suits
The aggressive cat was probably dealing with some kind of significant medical or mental health issue that wasn't being addressed. My first thought is some sort of territorial anxiety due to the addition of both a new person and the kitten. There are actually medications for cats dealing with mental health issues like anxiety. I don't know what all they tried of course, but it's sad that some people just punish or throw out or kill cats that misbehave when there's always a reason behind their behaviour. It sounds sort of like what Jackson Galaxy would refer to as a Napoleon cat: extremely aggressive and defensive behaviour due to severe anxiety over their territory feeling threatened.
My first thought with this story was, this poor family needs Jackson Galaxy!
I feel so bad for the cat. They don’t attack ppl out of spite, it’s bc of an underlying issue. What a terrible ending to its life. 💔
If it’s a brain tumour or mental health issue, it’s just so sad that it was left untreated and then died like this. Poor thing.
Agreed. Jackson Galaxy was my first thought as well.
I just can’t believe that after the first “attack”, that only ended by the cats body being smashed against the floor for 1/2 a min … that no one took the cat to the vet??
It doesn’t matter if the fiancé was doing it in defense. You still hurt an animal. I would at least be concerned enough to have a professional check that they were okay.
It’s really on the pet parent AND their partner for not doing something sooner and letting it get to this point.
@@butterflypooo exactly... and after the check up get the claws cut (not declawing, never declaw, just a bit shortened) just to make sure that future "strikes" are not as nasty, until you find out how to handle it.
I also think, that the home was probably not at all cat friendly if the cat chose a kitchen cupboard as hiding spot.
Cats need elevated hiding spots that are not invaded by accident.... especcially when they deal with anxiety.
That last story sorta reminded me of my relationship. My partner is asexual, while I am not. It wasn’t exactly easy for her to get into stable relationships with what people might consider a “limitation.” It really isn’t. It’s just how she is, and it’s just part of what makes her perfect.
As an Ace myself, i was also thinking about this dynamic.
We need to normalize having those convos well ahead of the activities. Saves a lot of pain when both parties actually know what's up.
Another Ace here, seconded!
Genuine question, is it possible to be in a relationship while being Ace? I gave up trying because I asume no one would want me if there isn’t any intercourse involved…
@@DoritoBot9000 may not be ace but from what I’ve learned- yes. There are 2 things, asexual and aromatic! Asexual is no sexual attraction while possibly having a romantic attraction. Sorry if I got anything wrong btw
ReemTheTheme is right- romantic and sexual attraction are two different things. It's entirely possible, and has been done, to be an Ace in a romantic relationship
The cheating friend story is baffling on too many levels. Why give the tea to a friend, ESPECIALLY one that’s so openly against cheating in the first place? How is she OK with doing it with someone old enough to be her dad? Why is she bragging about it? It’s just baffling and wrong on far too many levels.
I already heard of dogs and horses that went on to aggressive rampages and turned out to have brain tumors so yeah, that would be my guess for the cat too. I still like how OP and their partner still tried to work with the cat and OP didnt made it into some "its me or the cat" situation despite all that have happened. This both shows some serious dedication and i hope they can get past this together. (But still its strange that the cat didnt get checked out, isnt that a normal thing to do?)
Yeah, unless OP and their fiancé were in a very tight financial crunch, it's absolutely normal to take sudden unexplained changes in behavior straight to the vet. It could be anxiety, it could be a tumor. Either way, it's more than you're likely to deal well with on your own.
I mean, if your cat acts like that you need to get it checked by a vet.
But this cat was not rampagning, it showed classical territorial defensive aggression. a bit over board maybe, but also not that unusual if a cat has to first accept a new human, then gets relocated, and befor it can settle down gets another cat into the house. Most cats would freak out at least a little under this circumstances
Im not entirely sure I agree with how it was handled though. I think OP deserves to feel safe in his home and not risk being sent to hospital.
Its *completely valid and ok* to say "I don't want to live with an animal that sends me to hospital".
The cat wasn't taken to the vets or a behaviourist, and there doesn't seem to be any compromise either like restricting the cat to certain rooms so it didn't attack OP.
So OP was just expected to deal with being attacked, without any effort made to make him safe.
And his partner also didn't consider the cats safety either, as these interactions also had the potential to hurt the cat. The cat also seemed to be living in fear and/or discomfort.
She neglected both of them.
I have 8 dogs myself, grew up with cats, horses, ducks and chickens.
My little sister still has a scar on her face from when the family dog attacked her worse than usual. The dog had bitten her before but each time it was forgiven until it finally got too far.
I stepped in and took the dog. I wish something was done much sooner, it should never have happened.
No one deserves to be attacked in their own home. Both her partner and the cat were suffering because of the decision to do nothing.
@CiElBie I agree with you here, my family owns five dogs, one if which is a parvo survivor, who has some pretty bad neurological damage (we aren't exactly sure if it is a tumor or nerve issue but we know it's probably made worse by him having been so sick as a puppy). He bit someone once. We had been noticing some aggression issues leading up to that but weren't exactly sure what to do. After he lashed out like that we completely altered how we handled the dog - including putting him in our parents bedroom when we have guests, leashing him when we let him out and we know people are nearby, getting him medicated, etc...- we don't have money to find out exactly what is wrong with him, and we know he's inevitably going to get to a point where our methods won't work and we'll have to put him down. It's hard as hell to deal with especially if you love the pet, our dog in my case, but it is just as much about keeping the people safe as much as the pet. I have sympathy for the fiancée in the story about the cat but I agree it should have been handled much different than it was.
@@cielbie8251 oh, absolutly. They did themselves AND the cat dirty.
Alone that the cat obviously chose a cupboard to hide in shows that they did neither consider the cat's need for a safe undisturbed place to hide in (if possible at an elevated place with good view over the room), nor the safety of the humans involved.
The same with the litter box: When a get is that anxiouse about their territory you have the litterbox only ever touched by a person the cat trusts until you were able to establish a less stressed situation. Cleaning the litterbox, while necessary, for the cat is like removing their territorial marking, they do accept this and probably even appreciate it for having a cleaner space to poop and pee, when done by a trusted person (or when they feel safe in general). But this cat obviously saw this act by this person as a gross violation of an intruder into one of the few spaces this cat considered their own.
The cat thing fucks with me on so many levels. The poor thing probably had a horribly painful condition that for some reason or another was aggravated by OP. I don’t really blame OP for this animals suffering as much as I do their fiancé. OP had little experience with cats so they likely had no idea exactly how unusual behavior like that is. OP seemed like they were genuinely trying their best based on what they did know while also trying to prioritize their safety. The fiancé should’ve known better and should’ve taken her cat to the vet immediately after that first attack. Yes sometimes cats can just be that aggressive but it’s almost always due to poor socialization as kittens (aka being feral) and/or past abuse in their life. That cat from the sounds of it had neither of those experiences. I’m by no means an authority on animal health but I did grow up with cats, volunteer in animal shelters, and foster cats and kittens. I work specifically with a lot of medical cases because as someone with disabilities I love to help animals with both permanent and temporary disabilities get to a point where they are ready for a forever home. Based on my experience it kinda sounds a little like this cat might’ve had some sort of brain tumor that was pressing up against an major artery/vein. OP might’ve accidentally slammed the cats head when they pulled him off and pinned on. That impact was likely enough to finally make that vein or artery burst which is why it took only a few minutes for the cat to die.
I will also note that when the cats jaw was broken the vet should’ve 100% started trying to find out the cause of the aggressive behavior. It’s possible OP and her fiancé just said he’s always been like this with OP so the vet didn’t think that it was a drastic change. I will say I’ve also met dozens of vets who only care about treating the specific thing the animal came in for and completely ignore what caused the injury or illness. The number of times a vet has just thrown drugs at me and kicked me out is appalling so it’s entirely possible something similar happened to OP and their fiancé.
Ultimately multiple people failed this cat and his death was more than likely preventable or at the very least could’ve been much more peaceful.
Apparently the cat had been declawed at some point in the past. So that gives a pretty accurate idea of what kind of “owner” the poor thing had. Some people shouldn’t be allowed to have pets, I swear!
That cat story broke my heart into a million pieces. I have three cats and I cannot imagine not running a whole ass CSI investigation if my cat behaved that way suddenly to try and understand what has them so frantic. I feel sick hearing about how that poor cat was treated. Not faulting the fiance, but as humans who the cat is depending on, even they should have acted on behalf of the cat.
I hate people who get pets and then don't even try to understand them.
@@DoritoBot9000 so that's why op said the cat attacked with his back claws? Poor kitty
@@UwUImShioNot necessarily, cats will attack other animals by holding them with their front paws and mouth and kicking them with their back paws
@@sakuraice22 normally they use their front too
The woman that snuck into the couple's bed after they told her not to assaulted the husband, not the other way around. She should be damn grateful they took it as an honest mistake
My mom tried to make me stop talking to my school appointed councillor because she agreed with me that I could not finish college while living with her.
My mom literally went from "I really like her" to "I thought we didn't like her" as soon as she said something that went against my Mom's thoughts, so I really relate to the thumbnail, lolol
Gosh, that story with the cat is really concerning. I have two cats and they would NEVER EVER attack someone like that aggressively. This story is just not how normal, happy, healthy cats act. My cats have only ever hurt us by accident. I also would be willing to bet that it wasn't OP's actions that killed the cat. It will have been a long time coming. Something was definitely up.
This behavior is how an insecure frightened cat, that feels cornered act like.
A feral tom is trying to join my cat crew, and used paw pats with sheathed claws to warn me off. Doesn’t like people but doesn’t attack.
It's interesting how people are ignoring that OP in that story is describing their reactions to all of the cat's behaviors as strong physical violence, the final being putting their body weight on the cat's neck, and then being shocked that the cat is aggressive and distrustful towards them. Sure the cat could be sick, but the first reaction to the cat reacting negatively was throwing the cat, hitting it's head against the tiles.. Does not sound like a quiet nice home either.
@@CommissionerC from what it sounds like, the OP was using physical violence to try and pry the cat off of him since he described the cat as "shredding his arms." I've never had a cat come anywhere close to shredding my arms before, only scratched, and marks like that scar anyway. I can't imagine the panic and pain that could actually be caused if a cat genuinely tried. regardless, I do really hope there isn't something sinister in the background of that story that could explain the cat's behaviour like a history of abuse or something.
@@CommissionerC Dude. The cat latched on and shredded their arm. They fucking lost use of their hand for 2 months. Wtf did you expect them to do? Lullaby the cat to sleep to make him let go?
Although we don't really know the whole story as it usually is with these posts.
Me and my brother had to go through this type of thing. It stopped after my brother committed suicide. I don’t really go to therapy anymore because my mother is afraid I will kill myself. She thinks it was the therapy that pushed him over and not her actions. Some people will never learn. Rip Domm 2001-2020😢 26:22
I'm sorry for your loss.
That’s awful. I’m wishing the best for you ❤ :)
i'm so sorry for your lost 🫂💙
I'm sure your brother was amazing. I'm sorry for this, all of this, except the other apologies in these replies.
When you get the chance to make your own calls... look for a good trauma therapist. Exposure therapy suuuucks, Im not here saying it's an easy ride. But I am sure it could start your healing process.
TL;DR - I think it could really help you.
As a bit of a motivator for you:
I lost my mom to suicide as a young child, and never got a chance to properly deal with it. My father... mhm. Wasn't the greatest Dad of all times. As I grew older, I started to notice some really poor behaviours. Agressive ones. Paniced ones. Anxious ones. Often 'without any reason'. Went to a literal dozen of thereopists over the years.
Finally, after my doctor and I tried to find 'the right meds' for over four years, I just broke down in her office, saying the golden words of "I am just too broken to be helped". She sent me to a trauma specialist.
It was 5 months of very, very hard work, but I got to a place where my mom's death was finally unpacked to the point that I could deal with a few things.
Friends noticed changes bit by bit. For example, my inability to deal with sudden negative things. Car window was smashed? Instead of a meltdown and the inability to take action, I sighted, was annoyed at the hassle, and called a company to get it fixed. Things of that nature.
Am I right as rain? Nope. Might never be. There are countless triggers in my system that might never be gone, my therapist warned me. But I am so, so much better now. And you deserve to be as well.
23:55 this whole story right here. I couldn't agree more. Children are a massive commitment. If you choose to have them earlier, whether it be from irresponsibility or as an actual choice, you forego things like having a night out.
My parents did the exact same thing as OP. They both got PHDs. They got to live in Paris for several years. They traveled. They had fun during their 20's. The lived a little.
Once they were both settled down. Had stable jobs and all that. THAT is when they had kids. First my sister when they were around 35 then me four years later.
I would argue that OP is still incredibly lucky to be able to afford to travel because there are plenty of childless people that can barely afford to live in a crappy apartment
@@normalhuman9878 yeah sadly we dont live in those times anymore where you could have both family and wealth. I remember my family went on holidays multiple times a year and we weren't rich, just normal. And now my self i cant do shit because i pay as much rent for a small apartment as friend back then for a huge house and massive garden.
For anyone curious there was an update to the Nair in the conditioner story! OP told her friend that "her mom" stopped her from using it because it smelled funny/wrong...and then the friend blocked OP
What a good "friend" to have. Sounds like she doesnt need enemies lol
There's a ton of update comments w a bunch more info if interested.
"it's a harmless prank!"
First of all, it can cause serious issues like chemical burns. Second, the fact her "friend" blocked proves it wasn't a prank but an attempt at revenge.
Man I appreciate the trigger warnings he occasionally gives.
The way he keeps it casual and sweet just makes my day
Fr
That one with the cat reminded me of the dog my parents had since before I was born. He started to become aggressive randomly but because my parents were struggling since it was the 2008 crisis they didn't take him to the vet. In to end he ended up backing me, a 6 year old, up into a corner and attacking me. They then had to take me to the hospital and the dog to the vet to be put down. He had so much cancer in his body that it was about 20% of his body weight. He was a small dog thankfully so I was fine but as I am now grown and thinking of studying to be a vet tech I have learned just how much the whole thing could have been avoided. Animal behavior doesn't change like that and it is sad that someone feels like they were responsible for the death of an animal that was probably just hurting. My family now has a current dog that is old and thankfully my parents have listened to me about watching her behavior so something doesn't happen to my little siblings. It is not the animals fault and it is more human to let them go happily and without that pain and to give those around lasting good memories. I am currently working on sketching a tattoo sleeve that I can add to that will have portraits of all my past pets. The one for on my wrist is that first dog I had.
Poor puppy. They must have been under such pain and stress.
I’m so glad that instead of developing a lifelong loathing/fear of dogs, you instead sought to deepen your understanding, and to spread it yourself.
I’m glad you were able to learn and help your parents now with the new dog and protect your siblings! It’s definitely rough when a pet acts out and has to be put down because of a medical issue, and watching for the signs helps both the family and the pet
I feel this for sure. I worked in rescue for 16 years and through that entire period, there was only one dog that had to be put down for behavioral reasons, and of course it ended up being a brain tumor. It wouldn't have been something we could have afforded to deal with, but it was never the dog. She would systematically stalk and attack the person who tried to adopt her, coming up silently behind him. Poor guy tried for more than a month before returning her, and she bit him 5 separate times. We knew it didn't come from her background because we pulled her from a hoarding situation with 7 siblings at 2 months of age, and at worst, one of the other siblings was very timid for most of her life, none were aggressive.
On a happier note, the rescue had this fully declawed cat, Tortilla (we did not declaw her, of course). She ran really hot and cold because she was both affectionate and terrified for her safety. If you reached for her, she was liable to go straight for the bite, but if you came up sideways and let her come to you, she was all cuddles and purrs. She was adopted by this tiger mom of a woman. We were careful to provide full disclosure and I was still really worried she'd be back in a week or so to return Tortilla.
Low and behold, she came into the store looking really frustrated and came up to me. I was already getting ready to bring up the special contract she signed where she acknowledged the cat was a bite risk. I was so pleasantly surprised to learn that she was just frustrated because she couldn't find a vet who knew how to work with Tortilla to provide her routine care. We gave her contact information for vets we knew who were comfortable working on feral cats. She was very happy to hear it and cheerfully admitted that Tortilla had chomped her, but it hadn't been super hard, and she was fully prepared to help her through the behavior so at least if bites happened, they wouldn't be severe. Tortilla is still happily in that home and it's been several years.
We euthanized one of our dogs, also a small dog, in 2007 because she was also "full of cancer" and had turned very aggressive. When we found out what the situation was and knew we couldn't afford to try to treat the very advanced cancer, we spoiled her for a week and then took for her last vet visit. I'll never forget the look on our other dog's face when we came home without her. He just knew.
The cat suddenly getting aggressive was likely something that needed to be taken to a vet. Many animals often get aggressive when they get old (going senile) and the situation is so unfortunate. It's horrible that it passed, but the fact that it happened out of self-defense from such violent attacks makes it even worse. My cat is getting older and while he's not getting wildly aggressive, he has started to bite more, stay inside more (he's an indoor/outdoor cat), and even needs soft food because he has weaker teeth. I'm so grateful that this is all that has changed, and if it gets more extreme I will force my parents to take him to a vet, which OP's fiancee should have done long ago, especially after OP's hand was mangled and temporarily disabled by an attack. I feel so bad for the cat, he really deserved to have gotten help or been moved to a home that could care for an aggressive pet.
22:00 Can confirm this, please please please, who(m)ever is reading this, if you ever notice your pet, cat or anything else behaving irregularly or downright strange, take it to the vet ASAP. 2 years ago my cat started peeing all over the house, couches, bootrack, floor, rug, bathroom tub. At first we thought it was that we got new litter, nope. Then we went towards thinking that it was stress, because we do also have a dog, though they've lived together 7 years at that point so we didn't see why. All of a sudden he was super docile, didn't eat or leave excrements, solid or liquid. My mom took him to the vet that night, and the vet (who happens to be my sister, coincidently) said that if we didn't bring him that night, he would've passed away in his sleep. He had a UTI and blockage in the urinary tract. I wouldn't have been able to handle losing him that early. That was November 26th 2021, now he is doing well, 9 years old(ish).
TL;DR, please bring your animals to the vet the INSTANT that something strange is going on. Losing a few hundred dollars in the emergency room is better than losing your best friend.
To the guy with the micro penis. Please don't beat yourself up about it or sink into depression. You really just met up with the wrong girls. As a gay guy I really go for the smaller penis over the larger and I know of many that feel the same. There are whole blogs on NewTumblr devoted to the small penis and at least a few exhibitionists' that enjoy showing off their smaller endowment. Be proud of what you have, learn to love it and to love yourself.
The cat story hits hard for my. I lost my cat 3 years ago to a brain tumor. For more than 6 months before the end, I knew something was wrong because of her behavior and eating habits changing. She did not become violent, but when you have lived with an animal for over a decade, you know when something is off. After several appointments and then a change in vets, I was finally referred to a neurologist who did an MRI, and that's when the tumor was found, unfortunately too late to really do anything about it. But at least I got to spend a last few weeks with my kitty and not have her be in pain any more. It's so sad that the cat in the story wasn't taken to a vet (so far as we know) when there was such a behavioral change. Maybe nothing could have been done, but maybe there would have been the option for a more peaceful ending for the poor kitty.
The cat would've had to be taken to a vet for the broken jaw, but even then, if it was, they should've investigated further into what caused it since apparently the cat didn't start acting up toward OP before the kitten that was mentioned was introduced into the mix.
20:45; I don't think either Kitty or OP are to blame in this situation, it sounds like the kitty was batteling something undiagnosed, either cat 41ds, Rab1es or even an anurism or Tum0r. Kitty was trying as hard as OP was to get along, but maybe it was OP's scent that Triggered kitties reaction to whatever was wrong. Sometimes scent is a key trigger in somethings & it doesn't sound like Either Kitty or OP wanted to hurt eachother.
Condolences for the GF, rip Kitty.
Under American law, the therapist is to never tell anything to anyone unless by court order or if the patient is a danger to themselves or others. So... that mother should never be able to find one. However, there are tales of therapist who failed that legal requirement on Reddit, so she might get lucky.
The first story feels like a villain arc.
*The keyboard bandit*
You could make a movie on it 'The last redditor'
I'd actually watch that ngl
This was a great…and often horrifying…set of stories, but I just wanted to comment on the one with the mother changing her kid’s therapist because they wouldn’t share what’s meant to be CONFIDENTIAL INFORMATION with her. No therapist should agree to her terms, as it’s a profound breach of ethics. My kid knows that I’m here IF they want to talk about anything that came up (and sometimes this happens), but that at no point will I pry into the therapeutic relationship between them. I want them to know that they can talk and complain about anything - even if that thing is me. The therapist isn’t there to be a tool for the mother to pry into her kid’s secrets, and it really makes me angry that she’d treat the situation that way.
With entitled parents and narcissistic parents, this is what therapists are for apparently and must have full control, normally I would say some obvious things like "they should know better" or "wonder why their child/children hate them" but they never learn and are so infatuated with themselves and live in a self-sustaining echo chamber that there is no hope for these people.
These type of people need to be humbled but don't think there's a way to humble entitled and/or narcissistic people that will permanently stick
We love HIPAA laws my friend
That's the way it is with my adult niece (28) and me(39f)/my parents (both 76). My niece is my late sister's daughter, and my sister was a mean drunk at the end of her life to the point that I'm not even sure she _liked_ me at the end, let alone loved me. She used my niece as an emotional punching bag and was very narcissistic and abusive toward her.
My sister passed in 2018 from liver failure (cirrhosis) and my niece has been in therapy ever since. She has FLOURISHED and we couldn't be more grateful to her therapist. My parents have happily paid for it so she can continue to go without financial worry.
That being said, we NEVER ask her for specifics about what happened during therapy beyond "Was therapy good?" or if we know she's going through a hard time, "Did talking to Melissa help?" She gladly tells us a lot of specifics about what was talked about because she's comfortable doing so, but we never pry for anything more than she volunteers to us because we know it's a privilege for us that she shares anything at all.
She also tells me a lot more details than she tells my parents because we are INCREDIBLY close and I had my own issues with her mother at the end which I have confided in her about in return. My parents know she tells me more than them, and they understand and never ask me for details. I'll give them vague answers if she's struggling at the time (so the questions are out of genuine concern, and the answers are enough to let them know that she's okay), but she KNOWS that I give them vague answers. She knows I give vague answers, she's given me permission to give vague answers, and she knows that I'll never violate anything she tells me in confidence.
I don't understand why so many families have such deep seeded problems with basic boundaries and mutual respect, but needless to say I feel blessed to have the family that I do in that regard.
As a person who's suffered early erectile dysfunction due to an assault and a surgery, i understand the micro-p guy and agree that it hurts to feel like you're less than others. So many people do put a lot on size and will mock and mistreat you if they realize you have issues downstairs. We're more than just our parts though. Trauma has made things hard for intimacy in general but there are options for it. And people will find you attractive no matter what your issue may be.
It's horrible that it's the norm to reject people for not being born/looking a certain way. I hope you, and OP or anyone else in a similar position, find someone who loves you for who you are. I (a transman) haven't decided yet if I want THE surgery yet, but being 160 centimeter in height is probably also going to give similar problems if I ever started dating again.
@@Nathan_Bookwurm You have your own physical preferences, right? The same thing applies to others. Someone rejecting you politely is not inherently malicious. If you are a trans man of way below average height, you are going to have issues. A cis man of that height would have those issues as well. Focus on other areas of your life, which may compensate for your shortcomings and make you more desirable to cis women. Women are very picky, it is to their benefit, but rarely as visually oriented as males, so I wouldn't rule out a successful relationship in your future. Whiny victimhood is not a winning strategy on the dating market. That's just realistic advice.
I read the update posts on reddit of the hair conditioner one, she played dumb, with things like “my mum says it smells weird, is that normal?” “We tried a patch test on our arms and it removed the hair”, she ended up getting blocked by her, she then contacted the police, but not to press charges, and the police and the offenders mother, had a talk to the offender, and the talk got heated and she ended up hitting a police officer so she’s probably going to go to jail anyway
omg can u link it if you still have it?
I saw the thumbnail and was instantly reminded of when I was 12 and my mom had me stop going to therapy cause my therapist was "scolding" my mom ( what she was actually doing was telling my mom to not let me drink alcohol on a daily basis and to not verbally abuse me )
Your videos helped me find the toxic people in my life. Thank you so much for posting and every day is better when you post.
and then spend money on upvotes to get their accounts banned?
13:40 I'm sorry, but can we - as women - stop believing that feminism is the act of "supporting your fellow woman, no matter what"? Women are people - people make mistakes, they lie, they cheat, they do bad things, they hurt people. Feminism is EQUALITY between men and women; part of that equality is taking responsibility for our own actions as human beings. When someone does something of their own volition, it is not your place as a "feminist" to support the woman just because you're both women; most importantly if what they did was wrong. If we want equality, we should be able to take equal responsibility for the things that we do.
People misinterpreting feminism as "Female superiority" instead of "Gender equality" is a real problem...
So much of the "Feminism" happening nowadays is literally just Misandry (aka hatred of men)
I'm glad I'm not alone with a mom interfering with therapy. Mine would try to make me seem like a liar and claim I was just trying to make her look like a bad person (I was like... 9 and trying to share how I felt) I stopped going since my therapist would tell her what we talked about, and then when I was about 12 or so, I went to a different one who thankfully didn't tell my mom anything. Problem was that now, my mom would get mad that I didn't tell her what I talked about. Stopped going again shortly after that and have never regularly gone back for therapy since.
Big appreciation for the person who loves her sister being child-free! Uncles and aunts are very important for children's development. Also, your house turning into a "moshpit of Squishmallows" isn't really a problem in my opinion! :D
Okay complete honesty, when the post about killing the cat came up I was ready to get very angry. Because how in the world could you mess up that severely!? Had it been intentional???
But the description of the injuries, how long it took for their fingers to work properly again... that must have been an absolute nightmare to experience. So much blood, pain, the cat not letting go, panic- I can understand that it ended up the way it did.... damn. Terrifying, horrible. I feel bad for everyone involved in that one 😰
The cat story reminded me of my own kitty. My cat was found under a bridge when she was only two days old. I was in the middle of my vet tech externship at the time so I had easy access to medical care for her. I bottle fed her and basically became her mom. She even sometimes tries suckling from my belly when I'm laying on my side, that's just how much she imprinted on me. However, there's an unintended side effect in that she's terrified of other humans and she tries to murder other cats who come near me. When I was gone for a week and my sister was babysitting, apparently my cat would scratch and bite her and was miserable the entire time. I think I accidentally gave my cat separation anxiety.
Uh oh.. but good excuse to snuggle your cat and stay at home all day XD
If this is a behavior you would like to stop and have your cat be okay around other humans and cats, it is completely treatable over time with patience. There's many articles online that go over the process in detail with suggestions for different living situations and means. I definitely recommend looking into it because there will be times you'll have people over or need someone to take care of her for you, so it would make her life a lot easier to not be scared of everyone.
I have a feral rescue myself who does not like other people, but it's turned from complete terror into reluctant acceptance that there will be strangers in her space sometimes. What really helped jump her progress was getting a second cat to be her friend that was a house cat his whole life. Through demonstration she is learning that humans are not that scary. I can only hope she doesn't pick up his hatred of the vacuum. He tries to defend me from it and cried inconsolably outside my bedroom door for an hour after I pulled it in there last week.
That last story was heartbreaking.
I can't imagine turning someone down for their "peepee" size.
I could imagine wanting some time to process the idea, as it would mean that some expectations will have to change.
But the nasty comments are simply not okay.
Honestly, I'm glad your reaction to this has been so compassionate.
And I agree that therapy will be helpful for OP and others who struggle with self acceptance.
Me neither. It just seems so shallow and meaningless to date someone based on what that person could provide in a sexual relationship. There are other facets of a relationship that don't involve sex, so having a micropenis is by no means a deal breaker, especially if you intend on marrying that person
@@Doryzitter and even then, sexuality is not just coital activity, the good part about sexuality is that it's so rich in diversity with practices and interests, that there are hundreds of other ways to enjoy sexual interaction that don't involve penes-vagina intercourse and are very satisfing as well. (Erotic sensation play, erotic massages, roleplaying, oral, tantric sex, the exploration of different fetiches, even they can add the use of toys if they still want experiencies similar to coital's, as many other activities that people can try and enjoy).
Okay, woman here for you reddit losers /pos
I like micropp. I'll admit that. Tiny's pretty cute. I've had partners be all anxious about their size, because a lot of pressure from other men and some women as well makes them feel inferior. I prefer when guys are super open about it. I mean, I may be biased because obviously I'd wanna know, but still. Having a tiny one doesn't need to be a negative. Don't look for someone who tolerates it. Look for someone who thinks it's a plus. Trust me, we exist.
14:00 They _should_ feel bad. She assaulted _him._
The therapist story has to qualify as Child abuse. Like how can a mother who is identified to be the cause of a child's mental distress be allowed to remove them from that support system
20:50 what i'm betting probably happened is that when the cat was pinned to the floor, his trachea(wind pipe) was accidentally crushed due to the pressure. OP probably wouldn't have noticed because the cat was most likely already fighting and screaming. the cat may have gone into shock as well, which can very quickly kill small animals in high stress situations. a crushed trachea would have prevented the cat from being able to breathe and can also cause an animal to go into shock, especially if he was as stressed out as it sounds like he was. I feel bad for the cat that he felt so unsafe around OP that he continued to lash out to that extent and it's really unfortunate that it ended the way that it did. I wouldn't blame OP at all as one, it is very easy to accidentally kill a housepet that size and two, OP was trying to protect himself from an animal that was actively trying to kill him. I hope that their situation with their fiancé gets better
According to another comment, the autopsy found no trauma on the cat; it just died. Apparently they also had taken it to the vet multiple times to see if there was something wrong, and they were planning on taking it to a cat behavior expert as well
Getting in bed with a couple and complaining about being touched is like walking into a shooting range and complaining about getting shot
My ex kept switching family counselors, saying they didn't feel right. I finally figured out that she was searching for one that would side with her. Being neutral was not good enough for her.
"Size doesn't matter" story: if this resonates with you, just remember this please. The way you were born is not defective. You are not lesser of a person because of a physical trait. The only thing that has the right to determine your worth is your character. And if someone shows their true character by laughing at you at a vulnerable place or just being plain mean, that isn't a reflection of you. It's a reflection of them. And you have the right to choose not to be around them.
My wife and I had a long discussion and decided we didn’t want kids.
Now we’re just trying to figure out the best way to tell them.
Reminds me when the dad of the kids I used to babysit told me the exact same thing driving me home. Have never been in a more awkward situation-
🤣😂😅🥰🥰
😂
Hippity hippity, you kids are someone's property.
THIS was why you sent me this video?! Thanks DAD!
It was SO nice to hear that post about the woman TRULY appreciating her younger sibling who chooses not to have kids....after the post of the person tired of being told they are "Lucky" cause they chose not to have any. Sounds like a dose of what that guy needs.
It was nice to see an appreciation post instead of a jealousy one that's for sure
@@DestinyKiller seriously....i dont understand why american culture seems to always be one of one person on the defensive thinking they are being attacked and someone...just talking......or someone verbally attacking someone and they are like....um i thought we were just talking? ....its sad its almost like the worst parts of the 2 party system have infected basic communication. and the whole lets not talk about politics to avoid argument has just led to people gettting polarized and ignoring elephants in the room. it is what it is is one of my most hated saying....cause that only is so if people ALLOW it. if we actually TRIED to change...it WOULDNT be that way and it would be the way we actually tried....rather than lazily saying it is what it is and allowing the societal problems we have to just grow and continue.....we have to DO something about it eventually....i just think the singular feeling of helplessness against a larger system makes people give up before trying. Before looking for groups of other like minded individuals so maybe actual protests can be made.....though i dont wanna get into how scared i am of how much legitimate non violent protest has been almost.....villified and targeted recently...but i just want the world to try to get along again.....WE ARE ALL HUMANs.....WE ALL BLEED RED. why are we all so divisive?
@@joshuawargo6446 unfortunately confirmation bias exists, echo chambers, and vast generalizations about "the other side" (whoever it may be) has made us more divided before. And anyone leaning to one particular side or another is not going to want to talk when told that the entire "other side" of them just called them nasty names or made nasty accusations.
It's a self degrading and defeating circle
In short vote me as you're next dictator. I've got plans, just need people
To add to the demon cat story: The cat was declawed, apparently as a requirement for a previous apartment. That could certainly be a reason why the cat was angry.
That would certainly explain some of the biting attacks. When cats are declawed, they no longer have a secure defense and so tend to begin biting and behaving more aggressively when stressed. Jackson Galaxy has made several good videos discussing the psychological / behavioral repercussions of "declawing" cats. Which is a total misnomer as it's not just like claws are removed, their toes are chopped off at their knuckle.
Wow, declawing a cat is literal mutilation. So the fiancé was ok with doing that to the cat, but couldn’t be bothered to take it to the vet? 😡
But he said it scratched the crap out of him also? I for real call bs on his story.
@@Rhaenarys With its back claws.