So, he cheated 2 years ago and has a 2 year old child... the wife was either pregnant or had just given birth. That he had the energy to court another woman and mess about while there was newborn at home and a recovering wife implies he was absent for any parenting duties or household duties. Great, just great.
@@feuerling Or her mood drastically changed because of the sheer amount of pain caused by carrying another humaninside you and the hormonal clown show that that can bring on, and instead of helping her through it he dipped. Some people don't deserve people.
The AITA sub is kinda funny, you can read "AITA for grieving the loss of my father" and hate OP, while "AITA for shooting my neighbors dog" can be posted by a saint
Well, the second example could be an accident. Not that I want to call the following an accident, because it was from stupidity, which is different imo (and I'm bias either way). Example: That woman we've seen in one video from Click (don't remember which though), but a woman in the US was hunting and got her first "wolf pup"...... that she skinned. It was a husky. Like, I get that some huskies can look like wolves (here's the bias, my friend has huskies, and 2 of them have a classic "wolf coloring", ie they're augouti with sable), but wolves and huskies don't really look alike. Especially not when the husky in question is black and white. You could call what that woman did an accident, but I refuse.
That second one got my imagination going. "So, my neighbor's dog charged at me and savagely ate half my arm the other day. I didn't want to do it, but I was holding a BB gun in my other hand that I'd been fixing for my nephew free of charge, and eventually in the struggle for my hand it went off and grazed the poor little pupper in the head. Well, as the animal doctors were heroically saving his life, they found a tumor pressing on the frontal lobe of his brain, and since my neighbor'd been starving him the precious thing just couldn't control his urge to eat my hand. Long story short, neighbor lost custody and I decided to adopt the dog. Even paid for his operation after the fact. Now my neighbor hates me. AITA?"
@@WynneLcould have also been a water gun. Like: “I was playing water guns with my nephew and accidentally shot the neighbour’s dog with some water. The dog yelped and my neighbour assumed I tried to hurt the dog despite me showing them the water gun and the dog having no wound besides a wet spot. AITA?”
She shoulda went No Contact except thru a court ordered parenting app to document his abusive attitude. I will never understand anyone who takes a cheater back.
@@TimesUp8888 ya, he already burned the bridges .. for most no chance in h*ll take a cheater back .. and having a dysfunctional partnership for the kid would likely just hurt the kid ... kid deseves a better role model than a cheater ...
The drunk dude (I believe post 3) forgot to mention that what he told his friend was "look for a 6 like I did". Which he admitted in the comments. Do not feel bad for this guy.
oh god EW. i was sort of giving the guy the benefit of the doubt thinking that maybe he went for personality and looks were just a bonus, thanks for telling me, this guy's a pos
If wives/girlfriends are willing to leave or divorce you after *one* comment, you’ve been doing it for a while, and this was the last straw. Gotta love the narcissism.
If you're leaving someone because they hit the last straw. Maybe you should have communicated waaay before this or you just have a really crappy partner who ignores you
@@SomebodyStopMe1111 You have no real idea of how often that happens. Communication is king and women are indeed capable of being the "bad" one in a relationship. And women being bad at communication happens at the very least just as much as men ignoring what they're saying.
@@jakubpluhar4914 OP definitely insulted her, whereas you're assuming she didn't communicate well, and not just that, even if she didn't, that's not an excuse to insult your wife. You should be responsible enough to know most of the time it's something you said that is wrong- in more subjective cases, which are rare, yeah, communication is important, but mostly so the other person can apologise, they aren't owed it. She would have been in her rights to leave him after the first time depending on what was said, you know? And just in general...it can suck, but your partner is entitled to leave for pretty much any reason. Pretty much because stuff like disliking your child (which has been in this sub before) isn't valid, of course.
The dude who tried the blame his depression for cheating really boils my blood. I have depression, and it's NEVER caused me to cheat, if anything, it lowers your libido and makes you socialize less. He is so full of 💩 it's not even funny
Agreed. Depression has been like battery acid on my relationship bc I just have no, and I mean NO libid. It's awful. That's the truth. Affair? What, don't even penetrate my personal bubble! 😂
It can also increase your libido BUT it's still not an excuse. I had depression and I may have been snappy but I still knew right from wrong and never did anything to harm anyone other than myself
When I think I'm not good enough and I'm afraid of dragging someone else down, that's probably depression. If I think someone ELSE isn't good enough and I just don't care who I hurt as long as I feel better that's definitely something else.
The one where the guy is creeping on his babysitter reminds me of in Greek Mythology, where Zeus has a child (Athena) with Metis, who literally raised him. She's quite not into it and he has to literally chase her. When your story reminds someone of Greek Myths, it's time to re-evaluate. The Greek gods were fucked up
@@lefase4608iirc, the most widely known version is that Zeus chased Metis, who turned into a fly to escape him/was turned into a fly. Zeus then swallowed her, and she continued giving sage wisdom as a voice inside his head. When she got pregnant with Athena, Athena burst fully-grown out of Zeus's skull. (did that kill Metis?)
Looking at it from her perspective, she can't pursue this in any way. If she even had thoughts like this, his parents would rightfully step in & draw the line, & she'd no longer be allowed to babysit. So she's had this solid line drawn the whole time she's known him, & now he wants her to cross it??? Big fat nope.
Ohgods... When I was 16, I went on a canoeing trip. One of the other people there was this guy, IDK how old he was but clearly older than me, easily in his late 20s. My mother got *obsessed* with the idea that I should date him. There was nothing going on between us, btw. No sparks, no nothing. We just happened to be on the same trip organised by a friend in common. She went on and on about it. For. Years! Then, when the guy married someone, Mum told it to me as if it was sad news, and I'd need consoling. I was only relieved because that meant maybe she'd finally shut up about him! ...anyway, thanks for coming to my therapy session.
The woman that picked up the child after being told not to... I'd have taken my child back and immediately called the cops and reported her for attempted kidnapping.
Exactly! That's the first thing that came to my mind too. That woman could've just picked up the kid and booked it for all the OP knows. The whole interaction was creepy to begin with but trying to pick up a strangers toddler without reason or permission just screams danger.
@@untitled-gv3qp OP said that his wife often gets "creepy" vibes, but he seems to think she's overreacting. This time, she certainly was right, so I'm guessing she's probably right the other times. Maybe not always, but often. He didn't think this other women did anything wrong. He's completely nuts.
I was like a punch might be abit much but then again that woman was very wierd and didn’t listen to consent like she could have just kidnapped the kid yk if the pregnant lady didn’t step in since the man clearly didn’t do anything
The fact that the one guy was alarmed that his wife defended herself and her child from the creepy, grabby-hands stranger, raises red flags about him, at least in my eyes. This gives me the vibe that he doesn't think anything of touching pregnant women, or other peoples' children, without consent. He might be doing it himself.
I don't know if I'd go as far as thinking THAT but there is absolutely this completely deranged notion that complete strangers have a right to a certain amount of invasive activity with another person and it's rude to tell them to back the F up. And that familiar people are entitled to more. So... maybe THAT isn't so far fetched after all. All I know is if some crazy woman put her hands on my family after they said no only to put her hands on ANOTHER member of my family more than words would be exchanged.
People just don’t take female on female creeps seriously, I had a woman who kept touching my head without permission and literally kissed me on the lips without permission as a teenager and I got in trouble for crying about it to loudly and had to quit my favourite sport because no one would respect me wanting to keep away from her after that. That’s not even the only time no one’s cared about a woman (of teen girls when I was in highschool) sexually harassing me and if that woman has ever experienced how people just don’t help with female creeps I can see why she jumps straight to taking things into her own hands
Some women tend to be very touchy-feely, especially with other women. As someone who is uncomfortable with close contact, sometimes even with people I love, I struggle with this a lot. Thats not to say that some men dont try it either, though more subtly and with far less innocent intent, but at least they are aware that they could face consequences for it and leave well enough alone as soon as they feel like they have been "caught".
Poor you. As a woman, I usually have support when I deal with a creep, but it happened that people didn't take seriously what happened, and I know how it feels. :( I hope tou'll find the support you deserve.
women can definitely be creeps too. i’m sorry that happened to you. when i was 16 my childhood best friend (girl) told me that when she went to parties she’d wait for the other girls to get drunk and then take them in the bathroom alone to make out with them, one by one, but it was fine because they wouldn’t even remember it happening. she made a whole game of it, that’s how she described it while actually laughing. i ended our friendship and warned every mutual i could about her, but nobody took it seriously. smh. also personally experienced a less than consensual encounter with a women in my life while i was very intoxicated. don’t get me wrong men are predominantly the aggressors when it comes to sexual harassment and violence, but women are perfectly capable of those things too, even against other women. it sucks no matter who the aggressor is but i feel like it’s almost worse in a social acceptance kind of aspect because if you say it was a woman people are seemingly less likely to take it as seriously as if you were to say it was a man. weird world.
Personally I think the mother did an amazing job, setting a perfect example that if someone touches you without consent you have a right to defend yourself. Like what did he want to teach his daughter? That random strangers can touch her and she ain’t allowed to defend herself???
Honestly the "I think I broke my wife" guy seemed pretty tame until discovering "broken" just meant she doesn't talk to him, goes to the gym a lot, and posts on Instagram more. Like, dude, that doesn't sound like you broke HER. More like you broke your relationship. Like, the title made me think she was injured or severely depressed or something. No she's just living her life without you in it!
Yeah he wont give her validation, i mean she said something like she had never felt so ugly or whatever in her life... you should make your partner wanted and loved he just seems like an asshat lol. I dont blame her for posting on instagram where there may be people who are telling her she is beautiful.
To me it sounds really weird. The way it's said in the post really doesn't sound that cruel to me. I know I would be sad to hear my partner say something like that. But unlike her, I never thought "Oh, I'm so beautiful". I know I have my own beauty, and I like how I look. But I know I'm no model. So if my partner had been with a model, it would make perfect sense to me. Then again, maybe that is just her breaking point. I also don't think I'm super smart. But if he'd said "Smarts isn't everything, look at my partner, my ex was much more intelligent" that would probably break me too. But I'd just cry. I wouldn't know how to "hit the gym" about that.
r/AmITheDevil is so fun to look over, because almost all the people here are so obviously in the wrong and they still have the nerve to post it to AmITheAsshole or RelationshipAdvice thinking they're right.
and the best part, or the worst part depending on how you see it, is when they make an update where they just double down saying something like "I know I'm right, you just don't understand my situation. Anyway, thanks to the 3 people that agreed with me"
@@GenderedMessThere are SO many stories like that! Did you see the one where the guy THREW OUT his gf’s vintage dolls - one of which her deceased grandmother HANDMADE - because he said her creepy dolls were her only flaw and even if she dumped him, he did her a favor for her next relationship. He typed all that out. At no point looking at it laid out that way did he think, “Oh…. Oh, I’m a monster.”
So she has a two year old and doesn’t have the same spark? Going to guess it doesn’t even occur to you to help out with the childcare. It’s certainly in line with the rest of your text. Ease her burden and she’ll have much more “spark”
The husband isn't supposed to "help out" with the childcare. It's HIS KID, so he is just as responsible as the wife is, and he should "take care" of his child, rather than "help" his wife. I cannot fathom that the world STILL doesn't understand that when two people create a child, BOTH PEOPLE are equally responsible.
@@CyberChrist yeah but currently most of the time (after tye gurst few months) both parents work, and in the first few months just financial help isn't gonna cut it, the mother is still physically recovering and the child needs constant care, 24/7, very much including at night. A post-partum woman needs sleep and rest too. If you're helping financially, hire an infant babysitter equivalent. Possibly a maid for household chores as well. If it's too expensive, your financial contribution is too small and you gotta help yourself in other ways, aka take care of the baby and home so your wife can sleep.
@@tymondabrowski12 Most of the time, the father's the main breadwinner, especially when 80% of them get thrown like tissues when the mother's earns more than they do...
Punching Pregnant Wife story: I've heard this one a couple times and the line that always leaps put and no one seems to address is "I wasn't sure about letting her out in public." Holy red flag, Batman! Partner Story: This dude absolutely posts things on Facebook like "I don't use pronouns" and then doesn't get why people are laughing at him.
I'm so glad you pointed this out because I thought the same. Click accidentally read it wrong, so that may be why he didn't notice it either, but yes. This guy sounds extremely possessive if he's talking about whether or not he should "let her out in public". JFC
The vacation one is extra funny to me because recently an artist/streamer I watch was genuinely deeply concerned that something was seriously wrong with her mental health-forgetfulness, lack of creativity, etc-and when her husband and stream chat said she’s just burnt out and needs a break and to stop working so hard, she’d insist that no, it’s worse than that, there’s definitely something seriously, permanently wrong with her. She and her husband went on vacation, and-surprise!-in the next stream she said that after a couple days of relaxing, she suddenly felt her energy and creative spark come back and it turns out everyone was right, she was just burnt out and needed a break. XD
But you can't generalize. There could also be something seriously wrong and the vacation just gave you a little temporary boost, but the relapse is inevitable.
That guy in the looks one HAD to have said something worse. Because saying "I love my wife for more than just her looks as opposed to my ex who only had her looks" isn't enough to recieve that reaction from his wife.
Or she was just very insecure and vain, we dont know but I know several womwn for who thw implication they might not bw the moat beautiful would absolutly let thwm fly on a rage
It's in the comments of the original post. It's pretty tame but he seemed to have only add it after people got suspicious as to why he wasn't adding it and he seems like a real jackass from his other comments.
He said afterward his wife started going to the gym and lost weight. I am going out on a limb here but I bet he said he loved his wife even if she was fat. And as Click said, that must have been the straw that broke the camel’s back for her.
It drives me nuts when men w/ homes & children claim they are "helping." No dudes, you're parenting or cleaning your house or cooking your meal. Honestly, it's exhausting. Click has it right, she cut out the middle man😅😅😅. Why do they always have to F around and find out?😮
These same husbands are also constantly being told that they're "just helping" or "babysitting" as a way to demean their importance in parenting or housekeeping, y'know maybe they don't need to be bothered by both you and those people who say they're "just helping"
My dad went to college, worked, paid all the bills, parented, cooked, clean, could sew, loved to read, did crafts, was a toy train enthusiast, had a collection of PEZ, he was intelligent and never cheated on my mom. Rip dad
What Click said about being able to spot troublemakers is interesting; I've been reading The Gift of Fear, which is basically all about how everyone has the capability to detect dangerous behavior if they know what signs to watch out for and listen to their intuition. I imagine that a pregnant person would be less likely to ignore that "Creep Radar".
That "radar" is completely legit and has even been recognized in scientific experiments. I encourage you to look up the Iowa Gambling Experiment when you have a moment, but the gist of it was that a bunch of participants were given decks of cards, some play money to gamble with, and unknown to them the scientists had rigged the decks to lose. The kicker? The average participant's brain began showing signs of stress far below the level of conscious awareness only a few draws in, which steadily increased over time until they became fully aware that the deck was literally stacked against them. At the end when folks were interviewed, many stated that they clocked something was up very, very early on (iirc, by draw six or seven) even though they didn't know what or why.
Once, I was playing with some younger kids (I was a child, too btw, just older) at the playground at my dad’s condo and a car pulled up driven by a dude, the younger kids went up to the car which made me concerned for their safety-turns out it was their dad-bc I’d finished reading a story about a little boy and his dog getting kidnapped.
If we were actually able to detect people who are going to harm us, there wouldn't be the statistics we see all around the world about women murdered by their husbands. Yes, we can detect and avoid some abusers through knowing about red flags, but the majority of abusers are too smart to let it show until their victim is committed and can't readily get away. Assuming or implying otherwise requires assuming that women are knowingly choosing to date and marry dangerous men who are going to kill them. That's victim blaming, and is really not cool.
That's something you find a lot in people who had a violent parent in their childhood. You end up recognising the simplest things : a spark in the eye, a change in breathing, a tension in the arm... tiny details, but announcing that someone is close to losing control. And it gives you an ability to recognize that a guy in the street, even meters away, is a potential danger and that you should change road.
It's very interesting. I once got a bad gut feeling from just a car driving by once - before there was a sign that the driver would slow to a stop and reverse back to ask me, an underage girl, out to grab a meal. I watched out for that car and same driver months after, hoping to catch the license plate. Never saw him again, that I know of.
"i was manipulated into cheating. how do i fix this?" Well, first we start with some accountability and admit that no one can MAKE you cheat. you did that by your own choice. then go from there.
@@sonofsparda657 that wouldn’t be cheating anymore. The defining difference is choice, the guy could have gone to his wife and talked about his mental state to get the help he needed, he chose instead to cheat. He still made the choice.
I mean, I have personally been manipulated int cheating on my (then and current) gf by my now ex. How the fuck did I salvage this? By taking accountability, for a start, and showing willingness to learn. Like seriously, even though I was in massive distress and being used by my ex, I still take some level of responsibility for this. It's not that hard.
In this comment section I've already seen one person called Diamond & one called Sapphire. My best guess is that Diamond is a fake name (because no one really gives out their real names on Reddit) because diamonds are supposed to be super expensive & 'precious'
When my wife was in med school she was taught to use the term significant other if you didn’t know the scope of the relationship. They were told that the quickest way to embarrassment was to make assumptions about a relationship. This carried over into simply using the phrase significant other in her general conversation. I never heard of anyone objecting to it unless they had introduced the person as something else- girlfriend,wife,lover you know whatever.
Honestly, the only time this couldn't be correct is if the people involved are polyamorous, but like, why would someone be mad that someone is referred to as someone who is "significant" to that person?
Imo the person needed to be given a dictionary. He seemed to believe that “partner” is only used in business and didn’t know it’s also commonly used in romantic relationships. Ofc difficult to tell when you weren’t there, but I think that the ‘friend’ had their good share of responsibility. If someone tells me they prefer to be called husband and wife I use husband and wife, I don’t get testy and start lecturing them that ‘partner’ is just as good. Both ‘significant other’ and ‘partner’ are usually neutral terms preferred when in doubt about the type of relationship. When wife/husband/fiancé/girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever is specified during the introduction I see no reason to keep using the neutral term. I know people who live together without being legally married and they referred to each other as partner. It’s also possible someone who is legally married feels offended at being called in a way that implies they are “living sinfully” 😁 so to speak.
I prefer to call my bf my partner because for some damn reason people don't take our relationship seriously because we're "only dating" and not married yet. Key word being "yet" because we do plan on getting married, we're just trying to get financially stable first. The ambiguity of "partner" tends to shut those sort of people up, hence why I prefer it.
@@WarpigA23 I fully agree, I mean that like, by technicality, that specific partner would be /a/ significant other, not /the/ significant other. Like it'd be a very awkwardly phrased sentence if you'd manage to include it, lol, but still
I completely empathize with the daughter who’s dad kept “joking” to her about her relationship with her deceased friend. I hate, HATE “jokes” that are said so constantly, especially ones that are rather personal or inappropriate. In the beginning, it’s a slight inconvenience at best. But after so long, it chips away at you and your patience more and more. I lived with someone for 11 years of my life who did this same shit to me. I was always called “sensitive” and a “snowflake” for getting upset at the rather, inappropriate jokes made towards me by this person. Despite how much I told them I was uncomfortable and didn’t like these jokes, I was always at fault. And these “jokes” didn’t feel like jokes anymore, and most likely never were. When a boundary is made clear but still gets overstepped, that person has no concept of boundaries and sees no issue in making someone angry or uncomfortable. They usually don’t learn, and revert to their ways even if they manage to temporarily stop, which I can unfortunately confirm via experience. It’s frustrating and dehumanizing. You feel like you’re nothing but an object for that person’s amusement. It’s taken me years to even remotely recover my own self esteem from this sort of treatment, among other things. And I still have a long way to go.
I know how you feel, I've dealt with people making insensitive jokes and remarks about me, it really sucks. I hope you no longer have that person in your life, you don't deserve to have to put up with that kind of bs
"YoU'rE sO sEnSiTiVe!" "Can't you take a joke?!" "Lighten up, it was only a joke!" It was never "only a joke." It was mean spirited and meant to break you down so they felt better about themselves. Familial bullying.
A joke is something that both parties find funny, or the very least silly and harmless. If someone gets upset about a "joke" it's not a joke. It's bullying disguised as a joke.
Gender-bias. OPs sons took the dead guy "under their wings", so have a close friendship. The same friendship on part of the daughter and "there has to be something more" - because why else should they spend time together. Gosh, I can't even...
Well, not always it gets worse over time. It can also kinda file off your trigger button about it over time, the more often you hear it. But the thing is, one cannot pick and choose which of those happens (neither the joke-teller nor the recipient), it kinda occurs and you can't help it.
In this case, the guy is minimizing the aggression that was directed towards wife/kid. ...So he's displaying that he doesn't take her feelings and safety seriously. That's going to erode trust, because he's not going to be on her side when people disrespect her boundaries. He may well not protect his kid from creepers, either.
Maybe they're American and in the south or any other gun-heavy state. In a lot of places, a man getting involved will get people drawing guns, and in a lot of places, throwing hands quickly turns to dodging bullets. None of these are good outcomes for a pregnant women. They should have gotten the fuck out of there long before there was risk of hands-throwing.
Cannot fathom what that guy was thinking. If she was actively annoyed by it while her friend was alive, in what world would she suddenly find it funny after he died? Hell, that would NOT be an appropriate remark to make even if he was her boyfriend.
Yeah, i would have lashed out so much if that was directed towards me. Obviously she loves her friend, everyone loves their friends. She has probably told the parent to stop with the jokes for years, and they still went on and on the same subject.
Spouse: You wouldn't see the kids a quarter as much if I didn't take them to you OP: How about instead of me taking initiative and responsibility, I say you can't manage without me? Spouse: A'ight bet.
The thing that gets me is he referred to what she said as “nasty” as if it wasn’t her making an actual point about an actual problem. If she said it how he worded it she didn’t even say it rudely she was just bringing up a real problem. To which he responded by claiming responsibility for all the work she actual did. Like no sir she wasn’t being nasty she was trying to have an adult conversation and you acted like a child
Yeah I’m sure that it was just an excuse to cover the fact that he hates lgbt people and being “associated”with them by using the same term you would be using for EVERYONE, including lgbt.😱 Like come on, are you really so fragile 😂 Plus the “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it” 🙄
Fun fact, literally where I'm from, our language does not have gender specific pronouns. So I no longer find it surprising to hear people, who grew up speaking the mother tongue, trying to speak in English misgender people consistently but without malice
@@cheddarcheezit2647It's not even like a Transphobia thing. It's people getting mad at... literally just correct grammar because of their Transphobia. These are also the same people who say we get upset at words.
Oof I remember reading the “I told my wife she can’t do this without me and now she is” post. That dude was so ridiculously oblivious. I’m glad he seemed to recognize he was wrong after seeing the comments, but I don’t have a lot of faith in his ability to sustain this relationship since this was apparently the second time he refused to listen to his wife but listened to Reddit telling him the same thing. Sounds like he’s not actually learning the underlying lesson.
He's really lucky that breathing is kind of authomatic because he would be dead otherwise, he can't even say goodnight to his kids without being handholded and told exactly how to do it, weaponized incompetence is just too light of a title for this guy
Hes abbhorently idiotic. He cant sustain the relationship if not for the wife, and the wife is done helping him now. Imagine thinking he had any leg to stand on when the wife already did the list thing. Imagine being a baby still and rather than taking the wife's advice, hes blaming her for not having time with the kids (when he himself cant take initiative).
Was that the story where wife asked op to watch the kids for like 30 minutes (was it an hour?) And he didn't want too cause he just got off work and he had cookies in the oven? (Despite the fact you can watch both the cookies and the children at the same time.)
He did post later that he drew her a bath with her favorite music & he would watch the kids for an hour or two. She was surprised. Not sure how long this kick will last though. That was update #2 or 3.
The father who is asking what he could do: Take initiative! Do some things with the kids and for the kids, without waiting for your wife to tell you!!!
"The kids haven't even noticed that I'm not there", and who's fault is that? She's not stopping you from reading to your kid or talking to them at least. You don't need someone to throw your kids at you for you to raise your kids.
There are some grown adults who literally cannot do something without being told. And I mean day to day stuff. Certainly not take initiative in a situation like this.
As an AFAB person on the spectrum, I’ve actually seen many autistic men who act very entitled & incel-y & will blame the lack of dates on people being ableist rather than taking accountability for their actions. It’s very disconcerting & infuriating, because a lot of these talking points tend to suck young men in
That's why a lot of incels prey on young autistic men. They're not more likely to be incels, they're just more likely to be manipulated. & when the world is cruel as fuck, & a lot of allistic girls purposefully bully & abuse autistic people of either sex or gender, I can't blame them for being vulnurable. I know that if I were born a cis guy, I would have a hard time protecting myself from incel manipulation as a younger person. These men are often victims, that continue the cycle & become abusers themselves
I was looking for someone else to notice that he said he was on the spectrum cus to me that seems irrelevant to this particular story. Like, it ends up coming off as if you're using "well, I'm autistic" as an excuse for your deeply creepy and kinda concerning actions when it's not nor should it ever be. It can explain certain things - if the context makes it relevant (ie "Im sorry if I'm not making eye contact, it's nothing against you, I'm just autistic and eye contact hurts my soul" very real thing I say to people) but not necessarily excuse them I think.
@@kayahigham8568 You're so right - it just felt like him using it as an excuse as opposed to him looking deeper at his own actions. It just feels like reading the writings of a young man who's probably been sucked down the incel pipeline & is blaming it on everything but his own actions. I think he needs a strong dose of reality (as in therapy or some sort of friends/family) intervention) to realize that whatever pipeline he may be going down is harmful and will only make things harder for him.
For the OP that called her friend privileged. I cannot even begin to wrap my head around that mindset. I would say she is lucky, not privileged. I would be so happy my friend has found a job that allows her the flexibility to do those things. Not to mention be thankful that she was so kind and willing to help me. Seriously, that friend is a great and thoughtful person. She deserves a better friend then OP.
@@mautida9998 Right? I would be thrilled if my best friend had a job that let him be that flexible with his time. Not to mention is he helped me out like that. Dude would never hear the end of how much I appriate him. I cannot image being so self absorbed to act like this. Its horrifying.
@@BlindZubat the only thing I could imagine is if the OP is completely burned out and depressed by her job and uncontrollably takes out all her emotions on her friend. But that still wouldn’t excuse her ungratefulness. She probably needs therapy.
No. I would say she made different choices (career vs husband and kid) that are the REASONS why she's in the situation she's in. Similarly, OP made her bed too and is jealous. And spoke it out loud like the petty person she is.
I trust my mom completely and know how protective she is. I've seen her in mama bear mode and if I were on the receiving end of that I'd be terrified. It's a GOOD THING she saw her mom.
"I'd like to see how long you can manage without me" is frequently said by people who aren't actually contributing anything - and then they get all surprised to find the other person manages perfectly fine - or even *_better_* without them. Sometimes, losing someone like that is like suddenly having to look after *_one less child_* than before - and invariably it's the most problematic "child" that's gone, as the _actual_ children are quite manageable - and it's far easier to manage without them than with them...
Exactly! They always pretend to be more than they are, and gaslight their partners and kids that they don't deserve. The father of an acquaintance of mine used to say this ("You'd be lost and helpless without me") all the time, despite the fact that she had actually been basically running the household since age freaking nine, after the mom's death, up to and including things like grocery shopping and household repairs, with the only thing the father did was work and be out so late that he was only home to eat and sleep. And this guy acted like it was all normal "chores" when he himself did absolutely nothing. So one day when she was 17, days away from being 18, they got into an argument, he trotted out this phrase, and she snapped and said, "You know what, let's find out." She lived with a friend until graduation, then moved to another town for college and never came back, living a happy life by all accounts. Meanwhile the asshat had to learn how to do everything painstakingly, because he didn't have free labour at home and couldn't trick anyone into a relationship, since everyone knew what he was.
@@edene.4870 My ex-wife quickly gave up breastfeeding each of the children because it was "too hard" and would kick me awake to make formula for them every time they woke up. Then I'd go to work, and she'd call me to tell me the kids were being uncontrollable and want me to come home to deal with them. I'd come home to find the place trashed because the kids had got into everything and she "wanted me to see what they had done". I then had to clean it up, organise dinner, bathe and look after the kids. If she had a "night off", she'd go out and get stoned with her friends and come in around 3-4am. If I had a night off and went out, she'd invite her friends over to get stoned while she was supposed to be taking care of the kids. This caused no small amount of conflict, so eventually she walked out saying "I'd like to see how you manage without me." She took the younger two for a while, but one wanted to come back to me (she let them) and the youngest was then placed in my care because of safety concerns (neglect, drug use). So I raised 4 kids from when the youngest was 2 (she's now 16) - and it was a lot easier with only 4 kids to look after rather than 4 kids and a >30-year-old perpetual teenage rebel. Knowing "I'm the only adult, so I'm the only one who can do this and it must be done" is much better than wondering "why am I the only one who is doing this when there's another (alleged) adult in the house?"
Yep, my spawn points said that to me about my finances....at least five years ago (could've been even more, all I know was I wasn't living where I'm currently living). Yeah, they're still waiting for me to "irresponsibly run out of money".
My mom did this to me. She was acrually right: I did nothing and she did everything. But, she never asked herself why it was that way. In fact, she never gave me the room to be helpful: everything I did was useless, not well done so she did it all over again or should have been done later. Surprisingly (for her) I managed without any difficulty to live on my own when I moved out...
That man who got upset at the term partner being used for his wife gave me whiplash. I expected some kind of bigotry only to be bluntly met with utter stupidity. I really shouldn't be surprised at this point that some people don't treat their relationship as a team effort.
Honestly, OP was being a drama queen (I'm using the term because I'm sure it would get right up his nose). Upon hearing the word partner, he could have simply said they prefer wife, or husband and wife. No biggie. The fact he had to make such a fuss suggests a certain evangelical element to me. Maybe not homophobic, but definitely self-righteous and holier-than-thou.
That story was so weird, the way he only saw the word "partner" as some kind of transactional relationship. "Partner" is exactly how I describe my significant other because it's so important to me that we are both in it together equally, and on each other's team, etc. Seeing somebody take that term and try to make it sound "icky" is so wild!! Gotta love these stories though 😂
@@Wasa8i2 I mean bigots are always stupid but they're not interchangeable, given the context there's no reason to believe he's a bigot, just that he's really, really stupid.
@@barrylangille3523 They were both women, it kinda came out that the co-worker was being homophobic because he refused to acknowledge that there were married.
15:48 “my wife used to include me in parenting our kids” dude parenting is BOTH of your jobs. She shouldn’t have to “include” you you’re just supposed to do it wtf. Reminds me of when I had my first job in high school and I was a bit of an over achiever. This one kid would be like “are you going to let me do anything tonight?” And then would disappear to the break area.
"oh no my wife punched an intrusive stranger" guy is a complete gaslighting jerk. "She's always seeing people as creepy!" "My child is traumatized!" "I see her differently!" See your own ass differently. It is easy to be caught blind in a moment of conflict if you don't have practice. There's no shame in that. The shame is in how this dude did not shift to "wow that woman was terrible and you were awesome, nobody better mess with you!" and then get her mama/baby bear stuffed animals. The shame is in judging her instead of being present for her probable later anxiety over the incident, for not being ready with validation. And then, when emotions are low and with the daughter around, brainstorm alternatives nobody thought of in the moment. I'm a fan of screaming "take your hands off my daughter!" But I'll never judge anyone for throwing hands when someone is literally trying to pick up their child.
He feels emasculated by his wife. She was the "man" when it was needed and now his pride is hurt. He should be happy that his wife has a fast reaction time and his kids are safe with her ffs
Where is the gaslighting? I think there’s another term for when you convince yourself someone else is crazy, as opposed to convincing someone else they are crazy.
@@GretchZ but isnt that exactly what happened here? the guy is trying so hard to make his wife think she is the crazy one for defending their child. next to the "she always notices certain people acting creepy" it sounds like the wife might very well be right, and he is actively thinking and potentially telling her that she is wrong, even when she is right. that very much sounds like gaslighting to me
I was also shocked that he didn't seem aware that during pregnancy there are hormonal and neurological changes that happen to make the mother have heightened senses and reflexes to respond to any threat against their young. I mean I think that regardless any parent or carer should have been highly concerned and protective of a child against a stranger who doesn't respect their bodily autonomy. But in this case she may have been acting on an even more instinctual-survival level that is hazardous to pit yourself against. This is where the "Mama Bear" idea comes from in the first place.
My lover told me yesterday they preferred they/them pronouns. I was happy they’re finally discovering their identity for now. Switching from girlfriend to partner/lover isn’t hard. I don’t think they’re a business partner. They’re my lover. No matter how they change I will love and support them. And these people get mad when someone *else* said partner😭
I agree, being mad about someone using the word partner is ridiculous. Sounds like they desperately searched for something to be mad about. Also, congratulations to your partner for discovering their identity and having such a supportive significant other. :D
@@yolandaaliceflynt3671 indeed, and yeah. We’ve been dating for almost a year and they helped me when I came out as a transmale (also before when I was discovering myself and went by they/them for awhile) :3
I think he’s just mad that partner implies they are equals in the relationship. Note he himself noted that business is a modifier to partner that takes it out of the romantic context.
This line of logic falls short to me. you and your partner WANT to use the term for your relationship and would prefer that others referred to it as such. Say a friend refused to use partner and kept using girlfriend you would feel they are being disrespectful to your partner and your relationship no? I don’t see how you can ask others to respect your terms if you don’t or WON’T respect theirs. Two way street. The guy was still an asshole for the how they handled it but to say anything more is hypocritical.
I remember the "wife can't do it without me" guy! He didn't seem to realize that he had legs and knew his kids' schedules. He did at least get an epiphany that the book game was the wife trying to include him because otherwise he'd never do it himself
Its like when men complain their SO is mad at them for not helping around the house, "but she hasn't asked me to help/told me what to do". Their SO didn't need YOU telling them what needs to done, they are adults. It's not hard to see if the laundry needs doing or dishes need washing or the floor needs clearing. Just look around and assess for yourself. The issue is you see the problem but think "they'll do it so I don't need to, but if they ask I'll do it to get brownie points". At some point the SO stops asking and checks out of the relationship because it's not worth it, and then men go "well I'm not a mind reader". No, you're an adult, grow up
Probably because of patriarchal socialisation, a lot of men _genuinely haven't learned how_ to recognise when housework needs doing. The solution in these situations is neither to expect him to suddenly start doing things nor to tell him what to do, but instead to _teach_ him, once, how to know when something needs doing and _then_ expect him to do it. Even if he doesn't bother, this leaves him with no excuse since he's literally been shown how. I was one such person (I don't identify as a man anymore, but I was socialised as one). It wasn't 'weaponised incompetence' and the sight of surprise completed housework always made me feel awful that he'd ended up having to do it instead of me. I didn't think it needed doing yet but to him it had reached a point that he felt it needed to be done immediately instead of waiting any longer for me to do it. This no doubt leaving him feeling awful too since he's having to do everything. It was a bad situation for both of us, and I'd guess this true of most of these situations. After clearly communicating what the threshold is for 'needs doing', this hasn't been an issue since we aren't using different thresholds. If it really was just for brownie points, I'm pretty sure that in almost all relationships it'd be valued way more highly if they did something nice _without_ being told to do it.
@@ccaagg this, this 100%, i don't typically do laundry until i'm on my last outfit, i don't typically do dishes until i run out of something i use daily, before getting a robot vacuum i didn't bother with my floor until the mess started getting in my way, this was all because i preferred to do larger higher impact tasks less often, rather than fill my day with small low impact tasks, it's also why i got the 'fore mentioned robot vacuum, it's a task i can easily automate, but it's also a task that needs to be done but never really meets that "is it an obstacle" criteria that usually informs what chores i take care of BUT, if i'm asked to clean something up early, i will, because how comfortable people around me are is important to me
I just wonder how people like that are able to function in the workplace. Seeing what needs to be done and taking initiative is a basic skill to stay employed....
The story with the pregnant wife punching someone - I was once in a situation where I was effectively the 'daughter' with my guardians watching over me. They did nothing to stop the person grabbing me but smile and talk, letting things happen however they wanted. My wrist was hurting. Let's just say that my resentment stayed for the ones that did nothing compared to if they had at least tried. That daughter's trauma isn't going to be about her mom, but the dad that'll let anything happen.
Right?! I'm sorry that happened to you. My mom was a little scary (she'd be totally fine and then unexpectedly snap) but even though I was a little nervous of her, I was CONFIDENT that she wouldn't let anybody hurt me. I remember watching a Winnie the Pooh video and Roo is being babysat and due to their incompetence Roo gets stuck in a ravine. When Kanga comes to get him, I freaked out. "I don't want her to hurt Pooh! 😭😭" And then I was shocked and disgusted with what she actually did, which was wring her hands and worry until Christopher Robin fixed it. I had expected her to come in, jump into the ravine, scold Roo, rescue him, and dropkick the babysitters! 😅 That's what my mom would have done. She definitely got that part of parenting right. Kids are so confident. My 2yo daughter, when I was telling her the story of the three little pigs (again) suddenly interrupted me when I was saying "little pig little pig, let me come in" in a spooky big bad wolf voice, and she changed the story! "And then the Mommy pig came and said Shoo, you bad wolf! And she picked him up and she threw him away! The end." 😍 I thought that was so hilarious and cute, and also took it as a compliment, lol!
The story with the pregnant wife punching a stranger... I feel like she had it coming, just like you don't go between a mama bear and her cubs, don't rub a pregnant persons belly against their consent and then try to take their existing child. I'm not normally one to "victim blame" but that stranger 100% asked for it. Don't want a pregnant lady's fist in your face? Don't try to take their kid. Actions, meet Consequences.
Gender roles plays alot in this. Of course a _man_ is society expected, nay demands a _man_ to lay hands on any other _man_ that lay a hands on his woman or child. Because men are seen as threats. But conversely other women are seen as harmless and just too friendly, him stepping and pushing her away would easily been seen as totally unjustified escalation and physical assault on his part.
Imagining my s.o saying "I've never felt as ugly as I have this past week. I have always thought I am beautiful" just breaks my heart. Idk what I would say to fix it, but even if the relationship was doomed I would try my hardest to get their confidence back and apologize so much. Thankfully she's using that as fuel to work on her health and confidence to move on instead!
The "I'm annoyed that the pride flags are everywhere" is giving internalized homophobia. Like what's the difference from being "obviously gay" when so many people are "obviously straight"? We have so many books, movies, shows, games, etc depicting straight couples and are so obvious about it, why can't queer folks get the same opportunity to be obvious about it? Why do you feel embarrassed about your own community being proud of their identities? Being a lesbian (or any queer identity) doesn't exempt you from having bigoted beliefs. I think it would be a safe assumption to make that the anti-LGBTQ+ ideals of your country's culture may still be ingrained in you, even though you are a lesbian yourself. That's just how growing up in cultures with bigoted beliefs works- those tendencies ingrained into you during your childhood will still follow you into adulthood and will require time and effort to grow past completely. The best thing to do in this situation is to accept that a part of you is still unaccepting and working on improving from there.
Yeah. She's giving someone who ran from my country's homophobic laws to a safer place and doesn't realize the flags and all are one of the reasons that new country does treat hre better
You know, I kinda hate it when people automatically want to go with somebody has internalized homophobia, racism, etc. etc. Just for the fact because they have a different opinion on a certain matter. I kinda get what she’s talking about though. I’m a lesbian myself btw. She’s probably talking about it like this. For example. You know how in America we have American flags everywhere. It doesn’t bother me. But some people even Americans are like hey we don’t really need this many. Does that make them hate their country? Not really. They’re just like it’s a little much. I feel that’s how she was talking about it. I think because she just happened to be talking about LGBT. People automatically want to jump on it like oh my God internalize homophobia. I feel like that’s a stretch.
@@IlovepointlessstorysIt’s really not a stretch. Your reading on the other hand? That’s absolutely a stretch. You’re reaching really hard to find a way to excuse behavior that is just plain bad, and it’s pretty obvious you aren’t acting in good faith. Your attempt at excusing OP’s bigoted behavior doesn’t even make any sense on it’s own. And you’re also willfully ignoring and misinterpreting what the commenter you’re responding to said. You saw them say “internalized homophobia” and immediately zeroed in on that, without actually responding to the rest of what they said, not acknowledging or countering any of the good points, because you were so busy getting pressed over the internalized homophobia part in the beginning. Even though you’re just wrong, OP absolutely does have internalized homophobia. And you also give away your game when you boil it down to “opinions”. It’s not an opinion when you’re trying to police how others should be allowed to live their lives when they’re not hurting anyone. Having rainbow flags hurts nobody, having pride in being LGBTQ+ hurts nobody. Being bigoted against LGBTQ+ people hurts others, and is not an opinion. Being mad at seeing pride flags, and thinking there’s “too much” is absolutely bigoted, and is not only hurtful to others when you make your prejudices known, but you’re also hurting yourself over getting mad about something so innocent. And again, you completely ignored all the good points made, either because you were so laser focused on getting upset at the mention of internalized homophobia, or because you knew you had no good counter arguments. Such as the fact that heterosexuality is everywhere, and has always been, but seeing pride flags sometimes is “shoving LGBTQ+ agenda down people’s throats”? Like Click said, people are seeing an uptick only because it’s become more acceptable to have representation than it was just a couple of decades ago. But it’s not actually everywhere, especially compared to all the heterosexual representation that’s still predominantly in the forefront. Nobody is saying there shouldn’t be any heterosexuality in media though, just that it would be nice for it not to be considered the “default”. On the other hand though, just the still small amount of LGBTQ+ representation there is is considered “too much” by the parts of society that are still holding on to bigoted beliefs. They may say “I’m not homophobic”, but their actions speak louder than words, and that’s not even getting into how most of their other words contradicts their claim of not being a bigot. So no, OP definitely has internalized homophobia, and you seem pretty unpleasant yourself for similar reasons. But because admitting OP’s internalized homophobia would require confronting your own narrow minded views, you instead immediately want to deny it all and act like everyone else is the problem. It’s easier for you to double down on why OP is somehow the victim than to unpack why you automatically agree with someone who thinks there should be “less gay” in society.
@@cloudstrife4534 lol. Wow that was a lot. Bit much don’t you think? Probably not lol. Your rant is hilarious tho. Just because I could understand, just like I can understand why people think there’s too many American flags in America. Doesn’t mean I hate seeing the flag. You decide, though you wanna attack me because I can understand where she’s coming from. Interesting. Do you have white guilt? Just curious. Usually only white people come this hard. I could be wrong obviously. I also wouldn’t be surprised you were straight. I am so used to white straight people telling me how I should think feel and act. When I was younger, it was conservative ones telling me, now that I’m older it’s liberal ones telling me this. It’s awesome to always be singled out because I don’t think, act or behave the way people want me to. Amazing I am individual. People really hate that. You seem to be one of them. You have a good day now.
The story about lgbtq representation reminds me of a youtube comment I saw one time, although it wasn’t as vitriolic. The person in the comment felt that it wasn’t fair that pride took up a “whole month” and lamented that pride parades were annoying and unnecessary. I decided to respond and went into detail about how lack of representation and social pressure doesn’t just hurt people, it hurts me. I rely on the public’s perception of me to fight for my right to exist as who I am and still receive the same rights as everyone else. I rely on pride to spread awareness and raise support for programs and bills that prevent people from inciting discriminatory business practices, or claiming that my queerness is grounds to be assaulted. …and I went on like that for a while longer. I didn’t expect a response at all, let alone a kind one, but to my surprise, this person said they understood. They told me they didn’t realize there was such a background and civil rights involved in it. They apologized for being so coarse and said it didn’t bother them so much anymore now that they knew there was a reason for pride. I think about that person every once in a while. While I, and I know most people aren’t used to it, sometimes the asshole isn’t the devil. Sometimes they’re just uninformed.
I live that you shared this story and that you were able to explain your pov to the other person despite probably/maybe being hurt by what they said. Some people will definitely be assholes and dont even want to understand, but we should at least try to talk to each other. I don't expect that of any person, but I hope for open communication before people just give up or start hating on each other. If you talked and explained and the other person still doesn't want to respect or understand your arguments (not even take them on as their own, just accept and maybe re evaluate their position), then there's nothing that can be done. But I commend anyone who at least tries to explain and takes their time with people - wilfully ignorant, unintentionally hurtful or whichever would be the case
First guy seems to have no empathy for the womens feelings in the situation, and only wants to fix the issue because he "suffers" from not feeling the passion that was there before. And he even posted that confidently.
Narcissist be like that. People suffering from it (of making others suffer by having it) can and will only care about their own needs. But they can be really charming and nice if they think you or something you do van make their life nicer. And if you do not preform to expectations they will just dump you. They won't care how much it could hurt you. But also expect you to be available if they ever need you for something again.
Look at the username. Its the same guy in the next post. The first post click read is an update to the second post he read. I dont know if anyone else caught this
My husband has often listened to me listening to Cliccy. Click has grown on him, which wasn't the case initially. The genuine wholesomeness, humor, and compassion has converted him to enjoying listening with me to new posts. Yesss! I brought another soul to Hell's most awesome advocate! 😂
I can feel a _little_ for the woman who thinks her friend is privileged. She's absolutely wrong and needs to apologize profusely, no question. But if (as I suspect) her real issue is that she's desperately miserable in her job and has lost hope, then I can understand that. I once had a job that was basically destroying me (one where I was supervised by a workplace bully); I felt helpless to leave it, and I sometimes felt deeply envious about my friends who had better jobs. Luckily, I was never so far gone that I got angry at them...but I also had a therapist and other friends to talk to. This woman needs to get a therapist and deal with her unhappiness in a better way...and stop taking out her feelings on her totally innocent and honestly pretty awesome friend.
That's the impression I got too. Nursing can be insanely stressful, and it sucks that she doesn't have better benefits and flexibility. It's okay to vent but when you're taking your anger out on someone who is HELPING you, you're the bad guy. Hope she realized that in time.
Honestly. I give a bit of grace until OP dug in heels. A better way of saying it would have been "Thank goodness your job is so flexible that you could help me today because otherwise I don't know what I would have done. Let me know if I can make you some snacks sometime"
I have sympathy for OP about the stress and strain of her job. but.... to be bitter with the person who just helped you, who put their working time into their own eveing (after a day of being active) in order to help you out.... would OP rather her friend's job wasn't that flexible and she couldn't have helped her out? and just tacticly... you don't piss the people off who just helped you. you might need them to help you again. learn to accept help.
@@karowolkenschaufler7659 - I said I have some sympathy - not that I agreed with her. She was _completely_ wrong. It's just, sometimes, when you're in a really bad situation, it's easy to lash out at the wrong person. Most of us have occasionally gotten really frustrated, and then taken it out on somebody who didn't deserve it. She should apologize even if her friend _couldn't_ help her, just because it's the right thing to do.
Honestly all she had to say was “damn girl you got so lucky! I wish I could get that with my job! Our benefits our awful!” It’s the same thing, you’re jealous of your friend and want to comment on it, but instead of accusing your friend, you’re blaming your unfair work. It’s technically a compliment (with the right tone) and the friend would be neutral on the subject of your job so she would’ve had no problem agreeing and maybe even really sympathizing with your situation (if you didn’t overdo it)
God, as an autistic dude (28, ftm) with a younger stepbrother (22) who's also autistic but higher support needs + learning disability, I have first hand experience with something similar to the last story because my stepbrother is also very much one who falls into obsessions, especially with those who are fair amount older than him (8+ years and have known him since he was a minor). It is very uncomfortable to be the object of somebody's obsession as well as it can be draining for everybody involved as well, especially when it also crosses moral or mental boundaries.
I don't understand it at all either, I'm glad I just looked fat during pregnancy because I absolutely hate being touched by strangers. I find it's mainly older people who do it so maybe it them reminiscing their own pregnancies but they seem to forget that mothers aren't just incubation tanks.
paternal/maternal instincts that have no outlet or filter. Im not saying its right to do the actions, apsplutly not. But it is natural, and somewhat expected to have the urge.
20:36 I remember oz's volt talking about that story, long story short he is a misogynistic and believes being polite to a woman means she should be subservient to him (Oz checked his other comments)
16:23 😂 if shes forcing you to parent, shes just parenting another kid. You shouldn't have to be reminded to parent your kids, you know when bed time is, you know when they get up. Just help 🤦♀️ 17:24 well at least she knows and warned him that she was done
I dont understand where people thinking touching pregnant stranger's belly is normal??? Like ive seen my fair share but ive never touched nor thought of touching any pregnant woman's belly unprompted. I've only touched once after my aunt asked me if i wanted to feel my baby cousin kicking, but even at that age (about 10), i wouldnt even thought about touching or asking to touch it myself
The guy upset with the wife defending herself from a creepy lady reminds me of the story of the man that suddenly felt scared of his wife that beat up a man bigger than her when he tried to take their child.
"Partner" is used as a more inclusive word, and often used by LGBT people. Wonder if homophobia played a part. Or just a desire to not be inclusive for some reason.
It can be different for other countries also, here in Australia it is very common to use "partner". Aside from gender neutral-ness, a lot of people atleast that I've spoken to say it feels personally weird for them as girlfriend/boyfriend can feel a bit childish (not that it is, but some people just feel weird saying that) and then fiance or wife/husband can feel weird too as almost "braggy" or unnecesary at time to mention. Personally I more often use partner than anything else, I felt weird saying boyfriend / fiancé / husband just as it felt like an unnecessary detail and to avoid getting asked about things about our relationship plans.
That father-daughter story reminds me so much of my mom, who kept insinuating I was sleeping with my male best friend. For context: we had known each other for a few years and we just liked to cuddle to comfort each other (we were both going through a pretty tough time). Even after I told my mom about that (multiple times even and always insisting I didn't like him romantically, even telling her about my current rush at another time) she was still incredibly weird about it. One time my mom even told my grandma that "Whatever (my name) does with a man in her bedroom is her thing, since she is 18..." and then proudly told me about it. Sometimes parents don't understand and that's normal, but their inability to just keep their thoughts to themselves is so draining. :,)
I had the ‘you like him, he makes you laugh’, (we were ok friends as long as politics never came up) but, mom, I’m asexual and I introduced him to my best friend they’re happily married now. We would not have been romantically compatible if I was straight, for one he’s got some white male privilege to work through and I’m mixed race.
There are A LOT of people who think opposite genders can't be actual friends with no sex. It's ridiculous ofc, but if they do believe it, no wonder they act like this.
Yooo, Grandma is the OG! I love that so much! Also agree about keeping their mouths shut. Internal thoughts and external thoughts. Separate the two, please! Sometimes it seems like due to the age difference and power dynamic that some parents just thought vomit on their kids without a filter, or they try to use them as a substitute for therapy. Both of which are harmful and can lead to unhealthy relationships. Also, physical contact like cuddling does help improve moods, create endorphins, etc and it really isn't any different from your pet coming for cuddles when they know that you're upset. I hate when people boil any male/female interactions past about age 11 down to romantic or sexual, and nothing else exists. First off, that's just plain false. It also creates a large and unhealthy rift between the sexes. Two of my best friends in high school were boys; one straight, one gay. Neither one ever put the moves on me or vice versa. My straight best friend even invited me to sleep over at his house one night when I was having a hard time. Mom vetoed that, lol, but his mom was like, "It's cool, we have a spare bedroom as well as big comfortable couches. Plus, my bedroom is between the two and I'd hear anything." He and I had a lot in common and could empathize with each other well. I honestly really miss both relationships. I guess in my larger friend groups we were a bit like puppies. 😅 Not unusual to see a couple of us of mixed genders sitting in each other's laps, laying on each other, hugging, putting arms around each other and cuddling, and it usually wasn't sexual or romantic, unless their was a couple, and they still reigned it in while in the group. It was just friend bonding and was comforting. During our senior prom party most of us were piled up on the floor with a few large floor pillows. One girls high school birthday party three of her close friends, including myself, all slept sideways on her twin bed, one was a guy. It was super uncomfortable for me with chronic pain, but nobody was on the cold, hard floor. I do kinda wish we'd have stayed downstairs on their huge comfy couches though! 😅 You typically see that group behavior in young girls where they do each other's hair, sleep in the same bed, hold hands while walking, and hug. Those are just friend behaviors. It's not until parents plant that seed of division and idea that "any contact is sexual contact," that kids start to split and things get weird.
I had three close guy friends in elementary school. And while my parents didn't call me a wh0re or a slüt, they somewhat implied in a non-sexual way that I was leading all these men on. Nothing I said or did convinced them that there were no romantic feelings involved. In middle school and highschool, I had to keep all my male friends a secret from my parents because I was told that it was no longer appropriate. That even if I wanted to be "just friends" with these boys, which neither of them believed, then all these boys definitely wanted to sleep with me. And then when I was 18 and they finally discovered I was asexual with a strong romantic preference for women, they were shocked and wanted to rush me to a doctor to see if my gayness could be cured. 🙄 If I still spoke to my parents, they'd be horrified and confused to find out that I have a male roommate and that there are no feelings of attraction between us.
33:17 i refer to my boyfriend as my “partner” very often. not only bc it doesn’t force me to come out to anyone, but also because it sounds more serious than “boyfriend”. i’ve always felt like people didn’t take the words “boyfriend/girlfriend” seriously so i decided to use one that would make people understand that my relationship is serious. anyway, i fucking love my partner.
That story about the random stranger touching the pregnant woman, I think that mom taught her daughter a important life lesson that day. " You don't need to be polite if its your safety". Something similar happened to me in my childhood and it took me years to build my boundaries. These things may seem small but it is important to teach children about respecting their and other people's boundaries. So good on that mom!
The only way the "partner" thing would be NTA is if the friend was calling your wife your "partner" because they object to you being married (because you're gay/interracial/whatever). Like, my parents used to do that about my dad's coworker's wife because she a lesbian and they didn't agree with gay marriage (I'm pretty sure they still don't, but they've accepted there's not much they could do about it now)
I would bet anything that Diamond is a stripper and she stopped playing when she realized he really planned on divorce, and she didn't actually plan on a relationship. If she's real
That last story managed to give me flashbacks to a criminal minds episode where a serial killer got obsessed with his dead babysitter and abducted women made them lookalikes etc. and well got rid of them when he got what he wanted
I love how everyone who writes in AITD tried so hard to make it sound like their the good guy by removing details and being vague and they STILL end up being the asshole 😭🙏
7:10 reminds me of that funny clip of that Australian woman complaining about how her husband had a tragic accident where he "slipped and fell and landed in another woman and has been stuck there ever sense" (loosely quoted) it makes me laugh every time I see it.
The fact that the person mad about his wife being called a partner could have just "Yes, though I'd prefer you just use the term wife please " and it would have been fine
did you know that frogs and spiders formed symbiotic relationships, where the frog will protect the spiders eggs from bugs that would try to eat them and the spider would protect the frog from larger predators?
Wait what? I have a large funnel spider in my backyard that chills out next to a small frog. I thought that was so bizarre and now reading this it makes me so happy to think they’re friends! 🥰🕷️🐸
Man I hate it when people are like "but I was drunk when I said that". Oh yeah, did the wine bottle posess you and forced you to say something you never thought of and didn't mean? Maybe consult the local pastor or something, because it wasn't the alcohol that made you do it. Stop using it as an excause.
25:22 The only acceptable reason to drag his wife and daughter out of there was to protect him from the absolutely crazy lady... Dude is off his rocker if he thinks that's acceptable.
In Australia partner is widely considered the most appropriate term for anyones husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend. Because it means that no one has to feel discriminated against and can still talk publicly about their personal life with no worry of being treated unfairly for their relationship status and sexuality
47:25 I’ve been experiencing this myself and I have no idea why 18-22 yr olds are suddenly attracted to me at 36 myself. I’ve been told it’s the mothering energy I have.
If the wife really does agree with him they may well be THAT KIND of religious people who insist on all the "right" words and behaviors. At least that's a thought that crossed my tiny mind.
@@barrylangille3523 probably also the same bunch of fuckers who will throw a fit because a traumatised individual was describing a terrible scene with "naughty words", and "naughty words" are unacceptable, not the terrible thing they're tyring to report.
The moment that woman touched the pregnant lady without consent and then not only touched but grabbed the child without consent, she committed assault and possibly attempted kidnapping if they wanted to frame it that way. At that point the punch was self-defense and defense of her child. I'm not a fan of violence, but this was 1000% defensible.
For the middle story. My best friend and I improved our relationship a great deal when we decided not to compare our lives. We have a saying, “the grass isn’t greener, it’s just different grass.” Basically, there’s pros and cons to every situation.
@@zumazuma568A lot of people yourself likely included use terms and phrases referenced from literature and pop culture. That's just how language evolves.
To be fair, all OPs (if the story is from their perspective) are the protagonist. Protagonist doesn't mean hero, it just means the main character of the story.
Actually when netizens say "they think they're the protagonist", we mean they think they're the most important person in the story and the world should revolve around them. Same with saying "they act like they're the main character". Technically they are the person telling the story, but they are also self-important. Hope that helps
Yeah as an Aussie I love the term, it shows that my relationship is more than just Boyfriend/girlfriend but we haven't gotten around to the marriage part. I also like that it makes it ambiguous what the gender of my partner is, lol scares the homophobes into keeping their bullshit to themselves since they don't know for sure I'm in a hetero relationship.
About the "it's a wife not a partner" guy: he very much strucks me as a homophobe. Just the whole "I don't have a partner, I have a WIFE" thing feels like those boomers who'll say "I'm a man, so I have a wife, not something else!" U get it? I can't really explain it better...
It's because referring to your wife as a partner isn't a big deal. The fact they're throwing a fit over something so tiny *screams* insecurity and implies there's another reason they can't say out loud about why they're reacting that way.
35:40 One of my best friends is in a medical profession, at a pretty prestigious level. (She’s not a doctor but we’re all very proud and appreciative of what she does.) There are times when she’s cried on my shoulder about emotionally difficult cases, but never ONCE has she expressed envy towards anyone else, not to mention my partner who works from home. OP *chose* that profession. OP WENT TO SCHOOL for that profession. To pretend that you don’t have the agency that you *do* have over your own life is so childish.
The story with the dad thinking the daughter liked the friend. Like wtf she is grieving a friend and he goes ooh you are looking at him and are having romantic/sexual thoughts and blushing. Especially since she has had this fight with him; it would have been annoying when he was alive and it is probably hurts worst now that he is dead. On a side note: if she did love him romantically, (like the dad thought) then the dad is joking with her about her feelings whilst the person she likes is dead.
The pendantry of the guy upset over the term 'partner' for his, uh, partner, reminds me of a conversation I had when I was a teenager with my mother's idiot of an ex. I forget the exact context, but he told me something and followed it up with "I'm learning you something", to which I corrected him and said "You mean you're 'teaching' me something?" because the irony of the exchange was kind of funny. He then pulled a face at me and said "How can I teach you something? I'm not a teacher." And after a couple of attempts to explain to him that he technically was I gave up and went to my room.
Also, regarding the upset over the specific term 'partner', it could also be faintly rooted in homophobia. As if the genderless term could imply his wife isn't a woman. Not necessarily reflected in what we were told, I'm more inclined to think the guy was just dumb and only thinks of 'partner' in the context of 'business partner' but something to consider.
Humans do have a natural instinct for picking up vibes from people and it's often okay to listen to those vibes however, don't only go off what you think someone will be like who you haven't met, that's how prejudice is born.
I once had alarm bells going off at DEFCON-1 the moment a professor entered a crowded room, and before he said anything to me or anyone else. This was the first and only time we met, and I can't, to this day, point out what was off. I had to leave early because of how insistent the danger meter was. Never heard about him again, presumably a totally normal guy. Sometimes the vibe sense is just a paranoid whacko.
@@lefase4608There’s a building in the city of my town (I live in the county) that I get bad vibes from and I don’t know why. It got built like a year or two ago and it’s very tall.
@@lydiaboll2872 In the case of buildings (rather than people) that bad vibe feeling, or a sense of creepiness, can come from nearby power lines or transformers generating electromagnetic fields. Many "haunted houses" are actually caused by this.
I love that the guy complains about his wife acting "Stepford", as if having the kids presented to him before bed wasn't some weird romanticised 1950s shit 😂
39:21 If she said she was lucky I could understand but privileged is just insulting Edit: I wanted to clarify, not lucky as in it's pure luck you got this job and I'm better because I work harder but in a It's so lucky your job is so flexible. Your job is amazing, wish I could find a job similar
The child of that woman who punched a stranger in the face for trying to pick up said child... she's not going to be traumatized by her mother. She might be more scared of strangers after that experience! But she also knows for sure that mummy's got her back!!!
who is excited for halloween plushies?
I JUST got my pride plushie(with cape!) I'm definitely ordering one of each of this new batch
@@TheClick spooky plushy?!
ah yes releasing spooky plushies before the actual spooky month /j
I've never regretted spending all my money on books more
Im buying as many ghost plushies as possible 😈
So, he cheated 2 years ago and has a 2 year old child... the wife was either pregnant or had just given birth. That he had the energy to court another woman and mess about while there was newborn at home and a recovering wife implies he was absent for any parenting duties or household duties. Great, just great.
He probably cheated because the wife couldn't "put out" while she was heavily pregnant or while recovering from the birth.
Same like Dump.
@@feuerling Or her mood drastically changed because of the sheer amount of pain caused by carrying another humaninside you and the hormonal clown show that that can bring on, and instead of helping her through it he dipped.
Some people don't deserve people.
Men, am I right?
I can say this because I'm a gay dude
Anyone else get a weird vibe that Diamond is a "dancer"?
The AITA sub is kinda funny, you can read "AITA for grieving the loss of my father" and hate OP, while "AITA for shooting my neighbors dog" can be posted by a saint
Bad people be doing PR, good people be insecure…
Well, the second example could be an accident.
Not that I want to call the following an accident, because it was from stupidity, which is different imo (and I'm bias either way).
Example: That woman we've seen in one video from Click (don't remember which though), but a woman in the US was hunting and got her first "wolf pup"...... that she skinned. It was a husky.
Like, I get that some huskies can look like wolves (here's the bias, my friend has huskies, and 2 of them have a classic "wolf coloring", ie they're augouti with sable), but wolves and huskies don't really look alike. Especially not when the husky in question is black and white.
You could call what that woman did an accident, but I refuse.
That second one got my imagination going. "So, my neighbor's dog charged at me and savagely ate half my arm the other day. I didn't want to do it, but I was holding a BB gun in my other hand that I'd been fixing for my nephew free of charge, and eventually in the struggle for my hand it went off and grazed the poor little pupper in the head. Well, as the animal doctors were heroically saving his life, they found a tumor pressing on the frontal lobe of his brain, and since my neighbor'd been starving him the precious thing just couldn't control his urge to eat my hand. Long story short, neighbor lost custody and I decided to adopt the dog. Even paid for his operation after the fact. Now my neighbor hates me. AITA?"
I just read a short (fictional) story where an old couple killed another old couple’s dog lmao.
@@WynneLcould have also been a water gun. Like: “I was playing water guns with my nephew and accidentally shot the neighbour’s dog with some water. The dog yelped and my neighbour assumed I tried to hurt the dog despite me showing them the water gun and the dog having no wound besides a wet spot. AITA?”
For the Diamond story:
Him: You're not her!
My petty ass: Then go back to her, oh wait, she doesn't want you either.
Or hit him with "Well there's still one thing I have in common with her, neither of us want your sad ahh"
She shoulda went No Contact except thru a court ordered parenting app to document his abusive attitude. I will never understand anyone who takes a cheater back.
@@TimesUp8888 ya, he already burned the bridges .. for most no chance in h*ll take a cheater back .. and having a dysfunctional partnership for the kid would likely just hurt the kid ... kid deseves a better role model than a cheater ...
😂😂😂😂 savage, I love it!
Him: "You're not her!"
Me: "Oh shit, you're right! Let me fix that right now and dump you - just like she did."
The drunk dude (I believe post 3) forgot to mention that what he told his friend was "look for a 6 like I did".
Which he admitted in the comments.
Do not feel bad for this guy.
oh god EW. i was sort of giving the guy the benefit of the doubt thinking that maybe he went for personality and looks were just a bonus, thanks for telling me, this guy's a pos
i KNEW he wasn’t telling the truth
thank you, I was so sure, we were lacking some important information in this one.
Thanks for the clarification. So it wasn't simply a poor choice of words, he really was revealing his true self.
if he says things like that, id doubt thats the first time, yikes.
If wives/girlfriends are willing to leave or divorce you after *one* comment, you’ve been doing it for a while, and this was the last straw. Gotta love the narcissism.
If you're leaving someone because they hit the last straw. Maybe you should have communicated waaay before this or you just have a really crappy partner who ignores you
"the divorce came out of nowhere" oh suuuuure
@@jakubpluhar4914Guess what? It's usually the latter.
@@SomebodyStopMe1111 You have no real idea of how often that happens. Communication is king and women are indeed capable of being the "bad" one in a relationship. And women being bad at communication happens at the very least just as much as men ignoring what they're saying.
@@jakubpluhar4914 OP definitely insulted her, whereas you're assuming she didn't communicate well, and not just that, even if she didn't, that's not an excuse to insult your wife. You should be responsible enough to know most of the time it's something you said that is wrong- in more subjective cases, which are rare, yeah, communication is important, but mostly so the other person can apologise, they aren't owed it. She would have been in her rights to leave him after the first time depending on what was said, you know? And just in general...it can suck, but your partner is entitled to leave for pretty much any reason. Pretty much because stuff like disliking your child (which has been in this sub before) isn't valid, of course.
The dude who tried the blame his depression for cheating really boils my blood. I have depression, and it's NEVER caused me to cheat, if anything, it lowers your libido and makes you socialize less. He is so full of 💩 it's not even funny
100% asshole
It’s disgusting
Agreed. Depression has been like battery acid on my relationship bc I just have no, and I mean NO libid. It's awful. That's the truth. Affair? What, don't even penetrate my personal bubble! 😂
It can also increase your libido BUT it's still not an excuse.
I had depression and I may have been snappy but I still knew right from wrong and never did anything to harm anyone other than myself
When I think I'm not good enough and I'm afraid of dragging someone else down, that's probably depression. If I think someone ELSE isn't good enough and I just don't care who I hurt as long as I feel better that's definitely something else.
It's a series of choices & lies. Not just one.
The fact that youtube withheld this from me for a whole 47 seconds is absolutely atrocious.
You're lucky. It was held from me for a full 5 minutes.
try 10
@@Iamaperson-f3r5 minutes? Try TEN MINUTES. 😤
11
12. RUclips needs to step up their game
Click: when the next girl, Sapphire, comes along-
Me, whose legal middle name is Sapphire: HUH???
Me, whose actual name is Ruby: "Guys, the gem signal is beeping! I found another one!"
Just need someone named Emerald to get the trio
You be surprised 🤷♀️
Don't do it Sapphire!!! 😭 You deserve better!
Me, whose chosen name is Saphir: NOT ME
The one where the guy is creeping on his babysitter reminds me of in Greek Mythology, where Zeus has a child (Athena) with Metis, who literally raised him. She's quite not into it and he has to literally chase her.
When your story reminds someone of Greek Myths, it's time to re-evaluate. The Greek gods were fucked up
Athena didn't have a mother, she was born from Zeus' forehead.
@ZarnonElchris some stories say no mom, others say Zeus swallowed mom (Metis) while she was pregnant with Athena
@@lefase4608iirc, the most widely known version is that Zeus chased Metis, who turned into a fly to escape him/was turned into a fly. Zeus then swallowed her, and she continued giving sage wisdom as a voice inside his head.
When she got pregnant with Athena, Athena burst fully-grown out of Zeus's skull. (did that kill Metis?)
@@cheddarcheezit2647 I've read that second one yeah
Looking at it from her perspective, she can't pursue this in any way. If she even had thoughts like this, his parents would rightfully step in & draw the line, & she'd no longer be allowed to babysit. So she's had this solid line drawn the whole time she's known him, & now he wants her to cross it??? Big fat nope.
Ohgods...
When I was 16, I went on a canoeing trip. One of the other people there was this guy, IDK how old he was but clearly older than me, easily in his late 20s.
My mother got *obsessed* with the idea that I should date him. There was nothing going on between us, btw. No sparks, no nothing. We just happened to be on the same trip organised by a friend in common.
She went on and on about it. For. Years!
Then, when the guy married someone, Mum told it to me as if it was sad news, and I'd need consoling.
I was only relieved because that meant maybe she'd finally shut up about him!
...anyway, thanks for coming to my therapy session.
I must say... *WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?!*
I second the above reply.
It's unanimous. Motion carried.
@@isaiasaguirre342Couldn‘t have said it better myself.
Go on more canoeing trips. They're wonderful. Just don't tell your mother.
26:27 he had reservations about 'letting her go out while pregnant'?! Wtf.
😂
That line was a big yikes. He clearly sees her as property to control. Ick.
He seems to think it's the 1800s.
@@AIHumanEquality absolutely. That line is so telling.
Yeeeeaaaaahp
I was hearing banjos at that line.
The woman that picked up the child after being told not to... I'd have taken my child back and immediately called the cops and reported her for attempted kidnapping.
Agreed but after i fought her 😂
Exactly! That's the first thing that came to my mind too. That woman could've just picked up the kid and booked it for all the OP knows. The whole interaction was creepy to begin with but trying to pick up a strangers toddler without reason or permission just screams danger.
@@untitled-gv3qp OP said that his wife often gets "creepy" vibes, but he seems to think she's overreacting. This time, she certainly was right, so I'm guessing she's probably right the other times. Maybe not always, but often. He didn't think this other women did anything wrong. He's completely nuts.
@@WarpigA23 He's not a woman. He doesn't get it.
I was like a punch might be abit much but then again that woman was very wierd and didn’t listen to consent like she could have just kidnapped the kid yk if the pregnant lady didn’t step in since the man clearly didn’t do anything
Every OP in this video: I hurt someone in my life. How do I make them realise it wasn't my fault?
The fact that the one guy was alarmed that his wife defended herself and her child from the creepy, grabby-hands stranger, raises red flags about him, at least in my eyes. This gives me the vibe that he doesn't think anything of touching pregnant women, or other peoples' children, without consent. He might be doing it himself.
Yikes
I don't know if I'd go as far as thinking THAT but there is absolutely this completely deranged notion that complete strangers have a right to a certain amount of invasive activity with another person and it's rude to tell them to back the F up. And that familiar people are entitled to more. So... maybe THAT isn't so far fetched after all. All I know is if some crazy woman put her hands on my family after they said no only to put her hands on ANOTHER member of my family more than words would be exchanged.
Sounds more like a people-pleaser to me.
Personally, I would very loudly shout, "I did not give you permission to approach! Don't touch me!"
I think thats a reach
People just don’t take female on female creeps seriously, I had a woman who kept touching my head without permission and literally kissed me on the lips without permission as a teenager and I got in trouble for crying about it to loudly and had to quit my favourite sport because no one would respect me wanting to keep away from her after that. That’s not even the only time no one’s cared about a woman (of teen girls when I was in highschool) sexually harassing me and if that woman has ever experienced how people just don’t help with female creeps I can see why she jumps straight to taking things into her own hands
Some women tend to be very touchy-feely, especially with other women. As someone who is uncomfortable with close contact, sometimes even with people I love, I struggle with this a lot. Thats not to say that some men dont try it either, though more subtly and with far less innocent intent, but at least they are aware that they could face consequences for it and leave well enough alone as soon as they feel like they have been "caught".
Poor you. As a woman, I usually have support when I deal with a creep, but it happened that people didn't take seriously what happened, and I know how it feels. :( I hope tou'll find the support you deserve.
I'm sorry that happened to you 😔
women can definitely be creeps too. i’m sorry that happened to you. when i was 16 my childhood best friend (girl) told me that when she went to parties she’d wait for the other girls to get drunk and then take them in the bathroom alone to make out with them, one by one, but it was fine because they wouldn’t even remember it happening. she made a whole game of it, that’s how she described it while actually laughing. i ended our friendship and warned every mutual i could about her, but nobody took it seriously. smh. also personally experienced a less than consensual encounter with a women in my life while i was very intoxicated. don’t get me wrong men are predominantly the aggressors when it comes to sexual harassment and violence, but women are perfectly capable of those things too, even against other women. it sucks no matter who the aggressor is but i feel like it’s almost worse in a social acceptance kind of aspect because if you say it was a woman people are seemingly less likely to take it as seriously as if you were to say it was a man. weird world.
Personally I think the mother did an amazing job, setting a perfect example that if someone touches you without consent you have a right to defend yourself. Like what did he want to teach his daughter? That random strangers can touch her and she ain’t allowed to defend herself???
Honestly the "I think I broke my wife" guy seemed pretty tame until discovering "broken" just meant she doesn't talk to him, goes to the gym a lot, and posts on Instagram more. Like, dude, that doesn't sound like you broke HER. More like you broke your relationship. Like, the title made me think she was injured or severely depressed or something. No she's just living her life without you in it!
Yeah he wont give her validation, i mean she said something like she had never felt so ugly or whatever in her life... you should make your partner wanted and loved he just seems like an asshat lol. I dont blame her for posting on instagram where there may be people who are telling her she is beautiful.
What he meant by "I broke her" is that she doesn't "function" the way he way he wants her to anymore.
I was thinking broken mentally but I also didn’t expect that
Dude literally went "My wife appliance no longer works the way I want it to" with no shame. 😂
To me it sounds really weird. The way it's said in the post really doesn't sound that cruel to me. I know I would be sad to hear my partner say something like that. But unlike her, I never thought "Oh, I'm so beautiful". I know I have my own beauty, and I like how I look. But I know I'm no model. So if my partner had been with a model, it would make perfect sense to me.
Then again, maybe that is just her breaking point. I also don't think I'm super smart. But if he'd said "Smarts isn't everything, look at my partner, my ex was much more intelligent" that would probably break me too. But I'd just cry. I wouldn't know how to "hit the gym" about that.
r/AmITheDevil is so fun to look over, because almost all the people here are so obviously in the wrong and they still have the nerve to post it to AmITheAsshole or RelationshipAdvice thinking they're right.
Legit, just read one where the gf was confused on why her bf was upset with her after she destroyed his childhood toy.. hmm I wonder why.
and the best part, or the worst part depending on how you see it, is when they make an update where they just double down saying something like "I know I'm right, you just don't understand my situation. Anyway, thanks to the 3 people that agreed with me"
I always find myself saying- to whatever device & every one of them I've read- yes! You are the Devil!☠️☠️☠️☠️☠️👿👿👿👿👿
@@GenderedMessThere are SO many stories like that! Did you see the one where the guy THREW OUT his gf’s vintage dolls - one of which her deceased grandmother HANDMADE - because he said her creepy dolls were her only flaw and even if she dumped him, he did her a favor for her next relationship.
He typed all that out. At no point looking at it laid out that way did he think, “Oh…. Oh, I’m a monster.”
It's disturbingly sad how little these people know about other people, like they must've had the most useless childhoods.
So she has a two year old and doesn’t have the same spark? Going to guess it doesn’t even occur to you to help out with the childcare. It’s certainly in line with the rest of your text. Ease her burden and she’ll have much more “spark”
Also he met Diamond 2 years ago so either when his wife was heavily pregnant or when she was taking care of a very young infant
The husband isn't supposed to "help out" with the childcare. It's HIS KID, so he is just as responsible as the wife is, and he should "take care" of his child, rather than "help" his wife. I cannot fathom that the world STILL doesn't understand that when two people create a child, BOTH PEOPLE are equally responsible.
@@SamirCCat And some people's main avenue to shoulder this responsibility is financial.
@@CyberChrist yeah but currently most of the time (after tye gurst few months) both parents work, and in the first few months just financial help isn't gonna cut it, the mother is still physically recovering and the child needs constant care, 24/7, very much including at night. A post-partum woman needs sleep and rest too. If you're helping financially, hire an infant babysitter equivalent. Possibly a maid for household chores as well. If it's too expensive, your financial contribution is too small and you gotta help yourself in other ways, aka take care of the baby and home so your wife can sleep.
@@tymondabrowski12 Most of the time, the father's the main breadwinner, especially when 80% of them get thrown like tissues when the mother's earns more than they do...
Punching Pregnant Wife story: I've heard this one a couple times and the line that always leaps put and no one seems to address is "I wasn't sure about letting her out in public." Holy red flag, Batman!
Partner Story: This dude absolutely posts things on Facebook like "I don't use pronouns" and then doesn't get why people are laughing at him.
I'm so glad you pointed this out because I thought the same. Click accidentally read it wrong, so that may be why he didn't notice it either, but yes. This guy sounds extremely possessive if he's talking about whether or not he should "let her out in public". JFC
Yes I noticed that too! I was like wtf but then I didn’t see anyone say anything about it. But it’s very much a big red flag 🚩
literally treating her like she’s some type of animal 😭 i hope she leaves his sorry ass
Exactly!
@@vixithespiderling he's worse than an animal: he's literally a fucking doormat in human skin.
The vacation one is extra funny to me because recently an artist/streamer I watch was genuinely deeply concerned that something was seriously wrong with her mental health-forgetfulness, lack of creativity, etc-and when her husband and stream chat said she’s just burnt out and needs a break and to stop working so hard, she’d insist that no, it’s worse than that, there’s definitely something seriously, permanently wrong with her.
She and her husband went on vacation, and-surprise!-in the next stream she said that after a couple days of relaxing, she suddenly felt her energy and creative spark come back and it turns out everyone was right, she was just burnt out and needed a break. XD
Taking time for yourself and relaxing is very important, I would even say Vital
Julia and Jacob Drawfee?
@@elizakarnopp8921 Yes! Hello, fellow Yammer!
@@Cheezbuckets Yammers!!
But you can't generalize. There could also be something seriously wrong and the vacation just gave you a little temporary boost, but the relapse is inevitable.
That guy in the looks one HAD to have said something worse. Because saying "I love my wife for more than just her looks as opposed to my ex who only had her looks" isn't enough to recieve that reaction from his wife.
Or he was already horrible to her and that was the last straw. Forgot her birthdays, "too busy" for her, etc etc
Or she was just very insecure and vain, we dont know but I know several womwn for who thw implication they might not bw the moat beautiful would absolutly let thwm fly on a rage
It's in the comments of the original post. It's pretty tame but he seemed to have only add it after people got suspicious as to why he wasn't adding it and he seems like a real jackass from his other comments.
He said afterward his wife started going to the gym and lost weight. I am going out on a limb here but I bet he said he loved his wife even if she was fat.
And as Click said, that must have been the straw that broke the camel’s back for her.
Well, what he said was bad enough to make the whole room go quiet. So there's that
It drives me nuts when men w/ homes & children claim they are "helping." No dudes, you're parenting or cleaning your house or cooking your meal. Honestly, it's exhausting. Click has it right, she cut out the middle man😅😅😅. Why do they always have to F around and find out?😮
Just like them calling it babysitting when asked to give their partner a break!
@@dianajohnson7337 right?
These same husbands are also constantly being told that they're "just helping" or "babysitting" as a way to demean their importance in parenting or housekeeping, y'know maybe they don't need to be bothered by both you and those people who say they're "just helping"
@@jakubpluhar4914 I don't know who's telling them that - because it's definitely not me.
My dad went to college, worked, paid all the bills, parented, cooked, clean, could sew, loved to read, did crafts, was a toy train enthusiast, had a collection of PEZ, he was intelligent and never cheated on my mom. Rip dad
What Click said about being able to spot troublemakers is interesting; I've been reading The Gift of Fear, which is basically all about how everyone has the capability to detect dangerous behavior if they know what signs to watch out for and listen to their intuition. I imagine that a pregnant person would be less likely to ignore that "Creep Radar".
That "radar" is completely legit and has even been recognized in scientific experiments. I encourage you to look up the Iowa Gambling Experiment when you have a moment, but the gist of it was that a bunch of participants were given decks of cards, some play money to gamble with, and unknown to them the scientists had rigged the decks to lose. The kicker? The average participant's brain began showing signs of stress far below the level of conscious awareness only a few draws in, which steadily increased over time until they became fully aware that the deck was literally stacked against them. At the end when folks were interviewed, many stated that they clocked something was up very, very early on (iirc, by draw six or seven) even though they didn't know what or why.
Once, I was playing with some younger kids (I was a child, too btw, just older) at the playground at my dad’s condo and a car pulled up driven by a dude, the younger kids went up to the car which made me concerned for their safety-turns out it was their dad-bc I’d finished reading a story about a little boy and his dog getting kidnapped.
If we were actually able to detect people who are going to harm us, there wouldn't be the statistics we see all around the world about women murdered by their husbands. Yes, we can detect and avoid some abusers through knowing about red flags, but the majority of abusers are too smart to let it show until their victim is committed and can't readily get away.
Assuming or implying otherwise requires assuming that women are knowingly choosing to date and marry dangerous men who are going to kill them. That's victim blaming, and is really not cool.
That's something you find a lot in people who had a violent parent in their childhood. You end up recognising the simplest things : a spark in the eye, a change in breathing, a tension in the arm... tiny details, but announcing that someone is close to losing control. And it gives you an ability to recognize that a guy in the street, even meters away, is a potential danger and that you should change road.
It's very interesting. I once got a bad gut feeling from just a car driving by once - before there was a sign that the driver would slow to a stop and reverse back to ask me, an underage girl, out to grab a meal. I watched out for that car and same driver months after, hoping to catch the license plate. Never saw him again, that I know of.
"i was manipulated into cheating. how do i fix this?" Well, first we start with some accountability and admit that no one can MAKE you cheat. you did that by your own choice. then go from there.
well.... i mean TECHNICALLY by definition... you CAN be made to cheat... however i think thats usually handled through the legal system then.
@@sonofsparda657 that wouldn’t be cheating anymore. The defining difference is choice, the guy could have gone to his wife and talked about his mental state to get the help he needed, he chose instead to cheat. He still made the choice.
I mean, I have personally been manipulated int cheating on my (then and current) gf by my now ex. How the fuck did I salvage this? By taking accountability, for a start, and showing willingness to learn.
Like seriously, even though I was in massive distress and being used by my ex, I still take some level of responsibility for this. It's not that hard.
Ten bucks says that Diamond was her stripper name, and he never even got her real one.
In this comment section I've already seen one person called Diamond & one called Sapphire.
My best guess is that Diamond is a fake name (because no one really gives out their real names on Reddit) because diamonds are supposed to be super expensive & 'precious'
@@BooksandBuns Fake names like Erin or Amber.... Diamond is a stripper name.
When my wife was in med school she was taught to use the term significant other if you didn’t know the scope of the relationship. They were told that the quickest way to embarrassment was to make assumptions about a relationship. This carried over into simply using the phrase significant other in her general conversation. I never heard of anyone objecting to it unless they had introduced the person as something else- girlfriend,wife,lover you know whatever.
Honestly, the only time this couldn't be correct is if the people involved are polyamorous, but like, why would someone be mad that someone is referred to as someone who is "significant" to that person?
@@JDM-is-my-name Even if they're polyamorous, if you're meeting them, then they ARE a significant other, just not the only significant other.
Imo the person needed to be given a dictionary. He seemed to believe that “partner” is only used in business and didn’t know it’s also commonly used in romantic relationships.
Ofc difficult to tell when you weren’t there, but I think that the ‘friend’ had their good share of responsibility. If someone tells me they prefer to be called husband and wife I use husband and wife, I don’t get testy and start lecturing them that ‘partner’ is just as good.
Both ‘significant other’ and ‘partner’ are usually neutral terms preferred when in doubt about the type of relationship. When wife/husband/fiancé/girlfriend/boyfriend/whatever is specified during the introduction I see no reason to keep using the neutral term.
I know people who live together without being legally married and they referred to each other as partner. It’s also possible someone who is legally married feels offended at being called in a way that implies they are “living sinfully” 😁 so to speak.
I prefer to call my bf my partner because for some damn reason people don't take our relationship seriously because we're "only dating" and not married yet. Key word being "yet" because we do plan on getting married, we're just trying to get financially stable first. The ambiguity of "partner" tends to shut those sort of people up, hence why I prefer it.
@@WarpigA23 I fully agree, I mean that like, by technicality, that specific partner would be /a/ significant other, not /the/ significant other. Like it'd be a very awkwardly phrased sentence if you'd manage to include it, lol, but still
I completely empathize with the daughter who’s dad kept “joking” to her about her relationship with her deceased friend. I hate, HATE “jokes” that are said so constantly, especially ones that are rather personal or inappropriate. In the beginning, it’s a slight inconvenience at best. But after so long, it chips away at you and your patience more and more.
I lived with someone for 11 years of my life who did this same shit to me. I was always called “sensitive” and a “snowflake” for getting upset at the rather, inappropriate jokes made towards me by this person. Despite how much I told them I was uncomfortable and didn’t like these jokes, I was always at fault. And these “jokes” didn’t feel like jokes anymore, and most likely never were.
When a boundary is made clear but still gets overstepped, that person has no concept of boundaries and sees no issue in making someone angry or uncomfortable. They usually don’t learn, and revert to their ways even if they manage to temporarily stop, which I can unfortunately confirm via experience. It’s frustrating and dehumanizing. You feel like you’re nothing but an object for that person’s amusement. It’s taken me years to even remotely recover my own self esteem from this sort of treatment, among other things. And I still have a long way to go.
I know how you feel, I've dealt with people making insensitive jokes and remarks about me, it really sucks. I hope you no longer have that person in your life, you don't deserve to have to put up with that kind of bs
"YoU'rE sO sEnSiTiVe!"
"Can't you take a joke?!"
"Lighten up, it was only a joke!"
It was never "only a joke." It was mean spirited and meant to break you down so they felt better about themselves. Familial bullying.
A joke is something that both parties find funny, or the very least silly and harmless. If someone gets upset about a "joke" it's not a joke. It's bullying disguised as a joke.
Gender-bias. OPs sons took the dead guy "under their wings", so have a close friendship. The same friendship on part of the daughter and "there has to be something more" - because why else should they spend time together.
Gosh, I can't even...
Well, not always it gets worse over time. It can also kinda file off your trigger button about it over time, the more often you hear it. But the thing is, one cannot pick and choose which of those happens (neither the joke-teller nor the recipient), it kinda occurs and you can't help it.
25:05 I love how men always claim they are the protectors and yet it’s never them that does the actual protecting
Well not never but my view is we should all look out for each other, man or woman or other.
In this case, the guy is minimizing the aggression that was directed towards wife/kid.
...So he's displaying that he doesn't take her feelings and safety seriously.
That's going to erode trust, because he's not going to be on her side when people disrespect her boundaries.
He may well not protect his kid from creepers, either.
I absolutely protect my family but I expect my wife to fight on my side when necessary.
Maybe they're American and in the south or any other gun-heavy state.
In a lot of places, a man getting involved will get people drawing guns, and in a lot of places, throwing hands quickly turns to dodging bullets. None of these are good outcomes for a pregnant women. They should have gotten the fuck out of there long before there was risk of hands-throwing.
Why I'm happier without one because my safety, it turns out, without one around.
"I said it jokingly to my actively grieving daughter". Dude, it wouldn't have landed if it was the best joke of all time and it wasn't even funny.
Cannot fathom what that guy was thinking. If she was actively annoyed by it while her friend was alive, in what world would she suddenly find it funny after he died? Hell, that would NOT be an appropriate remark to make even if he was her boyfriend.
Yeah, i would have lashed out so much if that was directed towards me. Obviously she loves her friend, everyone loves their friends. She has probably told the parent to stop with the jokes for years, and they still went on and on the same subject.
@@arielruby13you would have been right to lash out. That sh*t the parent did is beyond disrespectful.
Spouse: You wouldn't see the kids a quarter as much if I didn't take them to you
OP: How about instead of me taking initiative and responsibility, I say you can't manage without me?
Spouse: A'ight bet.
The thing that gets me is he referred to what she said as “nasty” as if it wasn’t her making an actual point about an actual problem. If she said it how he worded it she didn’t even say it rudely she was just bringing up a real problem. To which he responded by claiming responsibility for all the work she actual did. Like no sir she wasn’t being nasty she was trying to have an adult conversation and you acted like a child
I appreciate when people freak out over gender neutral terms. It shows me pretty quickly who I don’t want to be around.
Yeah I’m sure that it was just an excuse to cover the fact that he hates lgbt people and being “associated”with them by using the same term you would be using for EVERYONE, including lgbt.😱
Like come on, are you really so fragile 😂
Plus the “I didn’t want to make a big deal out of it” 🙄
exactly what I was thinking
Yep lmao, it's like, go ahead and wave those red flags/transphobic bs, so I can stay tf away 💀
Fun fact, literally where I'm from, our language does not have gender specific pronouns. So I no longer find it surprising to hear people, who grew up speaking the mother tongue, trying to speak in English misgender people consistently but without malice
@@cheddarcheezit2647It's not even like a Transphobia thing. It's people getting mad at... literally just correct grammar because of their Transphobia.
These are also the same people who say we get upset at words.
Oof I remember reading the “I told my wife she can’t do this without me and now she is” post. That dude was so ridiculously oblivious.
I’m glad he seemed to recognize he was wrong after seeing the comments, but I don’t have a lot of faith in his ability to sustain this relationship since this was apparently the second time he refused to listen to his wife but listened to Reddit telling him the same thing. Sounds like he’s not actually learning the underlying lesson.
He's really lucky that breathing is kind of authomatic because he would be dead otherwise, he can't even say goodnight to his kids without being handholded and told exactly how to do it, weaponized incompetence is just too light of a title for this guy
Hes abbhorently idiotic. He cant sustain the relationship if not for the wife, and the wife is done helping him now. Imagine thinking he had any leg to stand on when the wife already did the list thing. Imagine being a baby still and rather than taking the wife's advice, hes blaming her for not having time with the kids (when he himself cant take initiative).
Was that the story where wife asked op to watch the kids for like 30 minutes (was it an hour?) And he didn't want too cause he just got off work and he had cookies in the oven? (Despite the fact you can watch both the cookies and the children at the same time.)
He did post later that he drew her a bath with her favorite music & he would watch the kids for an hour or two. She was surprised. Not sure how long this kick will last though. That was update #2 or 3.
What I remember is if his wife didn't tell him every week to pick up his kid after practice, the same day and time, he just didn't do it
The father who is asking what he could do: Take initiative! Do some things with the kids and for the kids, without waiting for your wife to tell you!!!
"The kids haven't even noticed that I'm not there", and who's fault is that? She's not stopping you from reading to your kid or talking to them at least. You don't need someone to throw your kids at you for you to raise your kids.
There are some grown adults who literally cannot do something without being told. And I mean day to day stuff. Certainly not take initiative in a situation like this.
He doesn’t want to take the initiative. He wants things to go back to the way they were, where his wife was managing him in the family.
Oh look! It's a man child in his natural habitat! 😂
I'm guessing, by the Edit, the comments ripped him a new one.
24:20 I'm on Team Wife. That stranger committed assault twice.
Agreed.
Absolutely. Husband is useless.
Your aaying this like anyone is taking the husband's side
As an AFAB person on the spectrum, I’ve actually seen many autistic men who act very entitled & incel-y & will blame the lack of dates on people being ableist rather than taking accountability for their actions. It’s very disconcerting & infuriating, because a lot of these talking points tend to suck young men in
That's why a lot of incels prey on young autistic men. They're not more likely to be incels, they're just more likely to be manipulated. & when the world is cruel as fuck, & a lot of allistic girls purposefully bully & abuse autistic people of either sex or gender, I can't blame them for being vulnurable. I know that if I were born a cis guy, I would have a hard time protecting myself from incel manipulation as a younger person. These men are often victims, that continue the cycle & become abusers themselves
I was looking for someone else to notice that he said he was on the spectrum cus to me that seems irrelevant to this particular story. Like, it ends up coming off as if you're using "well, I'm autistic" as an excuse for your deeply creepy and kinda concerning actions when it's not nor should it ever be. It can explain certain things - if the context makes it relevant (ie "Im sorry if I'm not making eye contact, it's nothing against you, I'm just autistic and eye contact hurts my soul" very real thing I say to people) but not necessarily excuse them I think.
@@kayahigham8568 You're so right - it just felt like him using it as an excuse as opposed to him looking deeper at his own actions. It just feels like reading the writings of a young man who's probably been sucked down the incel pipeline & is blaming it on everything but his own actions. I think he needs a strong dose of reality (as in therapy or some sort of friends/family) intervention) to realize that whatever pipeline he may be going down is harmful and will only make things harder for him.
For the OP that called her friend privileged. I cannot even begin to wrap my head around that mindset. I would say she is lucky, not privileged. I would be so happy my friend has found a job that allows her the flexibility to do those things. Not to mention be thankful that she was so kind and willing to help me. Seriously, that friend is a great and thoughtful person. She deserves a better friend then OP.
Yeah she really doesn’t deserve her friend
@@mautida9998 Right? I would be thrilled if my best friend had a job that let him be that flexible with his time. Not to mention is he helped me out like that. Dude would never hear the end of how much I appriate him. I cannot image being so self absorbed to act like this. Its horrifying.
@@BlindZubat the only thing I could imagine is if the OP is completely burned out and depressed by her job and uncontrollably takes out all her emotions on her friend. But that still wouldn’t excuse her ungratefulness.
She probably needs therapy.
Sounds like that OP went down the "mean girls to nurses" pipeline.
No. I would say she made different choices (career vs husband and kid) that are the REASONS why she's in the situation she's in. Similarly, OP made her bed too and is jealous. And spoke it out loud like the petty person she is.
That little girl knows her mom has her back.
Mommy takes no shit from anyone 💪
I trust my mom completely and know how protective she is. I've seen her in mama bear mode and if I were on the receiving end of that I'd be terrified. It's a GOOD THING she saw her mom.
Go mom! 💅🏼 👑
Exactly that. And that her dad doesn't.
"I'd like to see how long you can manage without me" is frequently said by people who aren't actually contributing anything - and then they get all surprised to find the other person manages perfectly fine - or even *_better_* without them. Sometimes, losing someone like that is like suddenly having to look after *_one less child_* than before - and invariably it's the most problematic "child" that's gone, as the _actual_ children are quite manageable - and it's far easier to manage without them than with them...
Exactly! They always pretend to be more than they are, and gaslight their partners and kids that they don't deserve.
The father of an acquaintance of mine used to say this ("You'd be lost and helpless without me") all the time, despite the fact that she had actually been basically running the household since age freaking nine, after the mom's death, up to and including things like grocery shopping and household repairs, with the only thing the father did was work and be out so late that he was only home to eat and sleep. And this guy acted like it was all normal "chores" when he himself did absolutely nothing. So one day when she was 17, days away from being 18, they got into an argument, he trotted out this phrase, and she snapped and said, "You know what, let's find out." She lived with a friend until graduation, then moved to another town for college and never came back, living a happy life by all accounts. Meanwhile the asshat had to learn how to do everything painstakingly, because he didn't have free labour at home and couldn't trick anyone into a relationship, since everyone knew what he was.
@@edene.4870 My ex-wife quickly gave up breastfeeding each of the children because it was "too hard" and would kick me awake to make formula for them every time they woke up. Then I'd go to work, and she'd call me to tell me the kids were being uncontrollable and want me to come home to deal with them. I'd come home to find the place trashed because the kids had got into everything and she "wanted me to see what they had done". I then had to clean it up, organise dinner, bathe and look after the kids.
If she had a "night off", she'd go out and get stoned with her friends and come in around 3-4am.
If I had a night off and went out, she'd invite her friends over to get stoned while she was supposed to be taking care of the kids.
This caused no small amount of conflict, so eventually she walked out saying "I'd like to see how you manage without me."
She took the younger two for a while, but one wanted to come back to me (she let them) and the youngest was then placed in my care because of safety concerns (neglect, drug use).
So I raised 4 kids from when the youngest was 2 (she's now 16) - and it was a lot easier with only 4 kids to look after rather than 4 kids and a >30-year-old perpetual teenage rebel.
Knowing "I'm the only adult, so I'm the only one who can do this and it must be done" is much better than wondering "why am I the only one who is doing this when there's another (alleged) adult in the house?"
Yep, my spawn points said that to me about my finances....at least five years ago (could've been even more, all I know was I wasn't living where I'm currently living). Yeah, they're still waiting for me to "irresponsibly run out of money".
My mom did this to me. She was acrually right: I did nothing and she did everything.
But, she never asked herself why it was that way. In fact, she never gave me the room to be helpful: everything I did was useless, not well done so she did it all over again or should have been done later.
Surprisingly (for her) I managed without any difficulty to live on my own when I moved out...
@@grenade8572 Did she have unrealistic standards or just a general attitude of "if they did it, it must've been done wrong"?
That man who got upset at the term partner being used for his wife gave me whiplash. I expected some kind of bigotry only to be bluntly met with utter stupidity. I really shouldn't be surprised at this point that some people don't treat their relationship as a team effort.
Honestly, OP was being a drama queen (I'm using the term because I'm sure it would get right up his nose). Upon hearing the word partner, he could have simply said they prefer wife, or husband and wife. No biggie. The fact he had to make such a fuss suggests a certain evangelical element to me. Maybe not homophobic, but definitely self-righteous and holier-than-thou.
That story was so weird, the way he only saw the word "partner" as some kind of transactional relationship. "Partner" is exactly how I describe my significant other because it's so important to me that we are both in it together equally, and on each other's team, etc. Seeing somebody take that term and try to make it sound "icky" is so wild!! Gotta love these stories though 😂
i mean, when you expect bigotry, and you instead get stupidity, whats the difference? they are both interchangable, ive never met a smart bigot
@@Wasa8i2 I mean bigots are always stupid but they're not interchangeable, given the context there's no reason to believe he's a bigot, just that he's really, really stupid.
@@barrylangille3523 They were both women, it kinda came out that the co-worker was being homophobic because he refused to acknowledge that there were married.
15:48 “my wife used to include me in parenting our kids” dude parenting is BOTH of your jobs. She shouldn’t have to “include” you you’re just supposed to do it wtf. Reminds me of when I had my first job in high school and I was a bit of an over achiever. This one kid would be like “are you going to let me do anything tonight?” And then would disappear to the break area.
"oh no my wife punched an intrusive stranger" guy is a complete gaslighting jerk. "She's always seeing people as creepy!" "My child is traumatized!" "I see her differently!"
See your own ass differently. It is easy to be caught blind in a moment of conflict if you don't have practice. There's no shame in that. The shame is in how this dude did not shift to "wow that woman was terrible and you were awesome, nobody better mess with you!" and then get her mama/baby bear stuffed animals. The shame is in judging her instead of being present for her probable later anxiety over the incident, for not being ready with validation.
And then, when emotions are low and with the daughter around, brainstorm alternatives nobody thought of in the moment. I'm a fan of screaming "take your hands off my daughter!" But I'll never judge anyone for throwing hands when someone is literally trying to pick up their child.
Like doesn't he care enough for his kid?!?!?!? How far does a stranger have to go until he cares
He feels emasculated by his wife. She was the "man" when it was needed and now his pride is hurt. He should be happy that his wife has a fast reaction time and his kids are safe with her ffs
Where is the gaslighting?
I think there’s another term for when you convince yourself someone else is crazy, as opposed to convincing someone else they are crazy.
@@GretchZ but isnt that exactly what happened here? the guy is trying so hard to make his wife think she is the crazy one for defending their child. next to the "she always notices certain people acting creepy" it sounds like the wife might very well be right, and he is actively thinking and potentially telling her that she is wrong, even when she is right. that very much sounds like gaslighting to me
I was also shocked that he didn't seem aware that during pregnancy there are hormonal and neurological changes that happen to make the mother have heightened senses and reflexes to respond to any threat against their young. I mean I think that regardless any parent or carer should have been highly concerned and protective of a child against a stranger who doesn't respect their bodily autonomy. But in this case she may have been acting on an even more instinctual-survival level that is hazardous to pit yourself against. This is where the "Mama Bear" idea comes from in the first place.
My lover told me yesterday they preferred they/them pronouns. I was happy they’re finally discovering their identity for now. Switching from girlfriend to partner/lover isn’t hard. I don’t think they’re a business partner. They’re my lover. No matter how they change I will love and support them. And these people get mad when someone *else* said partner😭
partner in crime! yay!
I agree, being mad about someone using the word partner is ridiculous. Sounds like they desperately searched for something to be mad about.
Also, congratulations to your partner for discovering their identity and having such a supportive significant other. :D
@@yolandaaliceflynt3671 indeed, and yeah. We’ve been dating for almost a year and they helped me when I came out as a transmale (also before when I was discovering myself and went by they/them for awhile) :3
I think he’s just mad that partner implies they are equals in the relationship. Note he himself noted that business is a modifier to partner that takes it out of the romantic context.
This line of logic falls short to me. you and your partner WANT to use the term for your relationship and would prefer that others referred to it as such.
Say a friend refused to use partner and kept using girlfriend you would feel they are being disrespectful to your partner and your relationship no? I don’t see how you can ask others to respect your terms if you don’t or WON’T respect theirs. Two way street.
The guy was still an asshole for the how they handled it but to say anything more is hypocritical.
As someone named Diamond that first story gave me the creeps
hi diamond :D
@@owoslayerofgods1213 Sup!
@@owoslayerofgods1213 Sup!
Judging by your name, I'm guessing you're an American?
*depressurizes you* ha, get coal'd
I remember the "wife can't do it without me" guy! He didn't seem to realize that he had legs and knew his kids' schedules. He did at least get an epiphany that the book game was the wife trying to include him because otherwise he'd never do it himself
Its like when men complain their SO is mad at them for not helping around the house, "but she hasn't asked me to help/told me what to do". Their SO didn't need YOU telling them what needs to done, they are adults. It's not hard to see if the laundry needs doing or dishes need washing or the floor needs clearing. Just look around and assess for yourself. The issue is you see the problem but think "they'll do it so I don't need to, but if they ask I'll do it to get brownie points". At some point the SO stops asking and checks out of the relationship because it's not worth it, and then men go "well I'm not a mind reader". No, you're an adult, grow up
Weoponized incompetence.
Probably because of patriarchal socialisation, a lot of men _genuinely haven't learned how_ to recognise when housework needs doing. The solution in these situations is neither to expect him to suddenly start doing things nor to tell him what to do, but instead to _teach_ him, once, how to know when something needs doing and _then_ expect him to do it. Even if he doesn't bother, this leaves him with no excuse since he's literally been shown how.
I was one such person (I don't identify as a man anymore, but I was socialised as one). It wasn't 'weaponised incompetence' and the sight of surprise completed housework always made me feel awful that he'd ended up having to do it instead of me. I didn't think it needed doing yet but to him it had reached a point that he felt it needed to be done immediately instead of waiting any longer for me to do it. This no doubt leaving him feeling awful too since he's having to do everything. It was a bad situation for both of us, and I'd guess this true of most of these situations. After clearly communicating what the threshold is for 'needs doing', this hasn't been an issue since we aren't using different thresholds.
If it really was just for brownie points, I'm pretty sure that in almost all relationships it'd be valued way more highly if they did something nice _without_ being told to do it.
@@ccaagg this, this 100%, i don't typically do laundry until i'm on my last outfit, i don't typically do dishes until i run out of something i use daily, before getting a robot vacuum i didn't bother with my floor until the mess started getting in my way, this was all because i preferred to do larger higher impact tasks less often, rather than fill my day with small low impact tasks, it's also why i got the 'fore mentioned robot vacuum, it's a task i can easily automate, but it's also a task that needs to be done but never really meets that "is it an obstacle" criteria that usually informs what chores i take care of
BUT, if i'm asked to clean something up early, i will, because how comfortable people around me are is important to me
I just wonder how people like that are able to function in the workplace. Seeing what needs to be done and taking initiative is a basic skill to stay employed....
@@lexa2310 Most (even so-called 'unskilled') jobs are highly specialised, very unlike keeping a home in order.
The story with the pregnant wife punching someone - I was once in a situation where I was effectively the 'daughter' with my guardians watching over me. They did nothing to stop the person grabbing me but smile and talk, letting things happen however they wanted. My wrist was hurting. Let's just say that my resentment stayed for the ones that did nothing compared to if they had at least tried. That daughter's trauma isn't going to be about her mom, but the dad that'll let anything happen.
Right?! I'm sorry that happened to you. My mom was a little scary (she'd be totally fine and then unexpectedly snap) but even though I was a little nervous of her, I was CONFIDENT that she wouldn't let anybody hurt me.
I remember watching a Winnie the Pooh video and Roo is being babysat and due to their incompetence Roo gets stuck in a ravine. When Kanga comes to get him, I freaked out. "I don't want her to hurt Pooh! 😭😭" And then I was shocked and disgusted with what she actually did, which was wring her hands and worry until Christopher Robin fixed it.
I had expected her to come in, jump into the ravine, scold Roo, rescue him, and dropkick the babysitters! 😅 That's what my mom would have done. She definitely got that part of parenting right.
Kids are so confident. My 2yo daughter, when I was telling her the story of the three little pigs (again) suddenly interrupted me when I was saying "little pig little pig, let me come in" in a spooky big bad wolf voice, and she changed the story!
"And then the Mommy pig came and said Shoo, you bad wolf! And she picked him up and she threw him away! The end."
😍 I thought that was so hilarious and cute, and also took it as a compliment, lol!
The story with the pregnant wife punching a stranger... I feel like she had it coming, just like you don't go between a mama bear and her cubs, don't rub a pregnant persons belly against their consent and then try to take their existing child. I'm not normally one to "victim blame" but that stranger 100% asked for it. Don't want a pregnant lady's fist in your face? Don't try to take their kid. Actions, meet Consequences.
I mean, the kid here is the victim, mom is the hero.
Crazy touchy lady is the villain.
Gender roles plays alot in this. Of course a _man_ is society expected, nay demands a _man_ to lay hands on any other _man_ that lay a hands on his woman or child. Because men are seen as threats. But conversely other women are seen as harmless and just too friendly, him stepping and pushing her away would easily been seen as totally unjustified escalation and physical assault on his part.
Imagining my s.o saying "I've never felt as ugly as I have this past week. I have always thought I am beautiful" just breaks my heart. Idk what I would say to fix it, but even if the relationship was doomed I would try my hardest to get their confidence back and apologize so much. Thankfully she's using that as fuel to work on her health and confidence to move on instead!
The "I'm annoyed that the pride flags are everywhere" is giving internalized homophobia. Like what's the difference from being "obviously gay" when so many people are "obviously straight"? We have so many books, movies, shows, games, etc depicting straight couples and are so obvious about it, why can't queer folks get the same opportunity to be obvious about it? Why do you feel embarrassed about your own community being proud of their identities? Being a lesbian (or any queer identity) doesn't exempt you from having bigoted beliefs. I think it would be a safe assumption to make that the anti-LGBTQ+ ideals of your country's culture may still be ingrained in you, even though you are a lesbian yourself. That's just how growing up in cultures with bigoted beliefs works- those tendencies ingrained into you during your childhood will still follow you into adulthood and will require time and effort to grow past completely. The best thing to do in this situation is to accept that a part of you is still unaccepting and working on improving from there.
Yeah. She's giving someone who ran from my country's homophobic laws to a safer place and doesn't realize the flags and all are one of the reasons that new country does treat hre better
You know, I kinda hate it when people automatically want to go with somebody has internalized homophobia, racism, etc. etc. Just for the fact because they have a different opinion on a certain matter. I kinda get what she’s talking about though. I’m a lesbian myself btw. She’s probably talking about it like this. For example. You know how in America we have American flags everywhere. It doesn’t bother me. But some people even Americans are like hey we don’t really need this many. Does that make them hate their country? Not really. They’re just like it’s a little much. I feel that’s how she was talking about it. I think because she just happened to be talking about LGBT. People automatically want to jump on it like oh my God internalize homophobia. I feel like that’s a stretch.
@@Ilovepointlessstorys no. You are wrong. What is more flag or less. If there are many flags of America, it should be fine just like LGBTQ.
@@IlovepointlessstorysIt’s really not a stretch. Your reading on the other hand? That’s absolutely a stretch. You’re reaching really hard to find a way to excuse behavior that is just plain bad, and it’s pretty obvious you aren’t acting in good faith. Your attempt at excusing OP’s bigoted behavior doesn’t even make any sense on it’s own. And you’re also willfully ignoring and misinterpreting what the commenter you’re responding to said. You saw them say “internalized homophobia” and immediately zeroed in on that, without actually responding to the rest of what they said, not acknowledging or countering any of the good points, because you were so busy getting pressed over the internalized homophobia part in the beginning. Even though you’re just wrong, OP absolutely does have internalized homophobia. And you also give away your game when you boil it down to “opinions”. It’s not an opinion when you’re trying to police how others should be allowed to live their lives when they’re not hurting anyone. Having rainbow flags hurts nobody, having pride in being LGBTQ+ hurts nobody. Being bigoted against LGBTQ+ people hurts others, and is not an opinion. Being mad at seeing pride flags, and thinking there’s “too much” is absolutely bigoted, and is not only hurtful to others when you make your prejudices known, but you’re also hurting yourself over getting mad about something so innocent. And again, you completely ignored all the good points made, either because you were so laser focused on getting upset at the mention of internalized homophobia, or because you knew you had no good counter arguments. Such as the fact that heterosexuality is everywhere, and has always been, but seeing pride flags sometimes is “shoving LGBTQ+ agenda down people’s throats”? Like Click said, people are seeing an uptick only because it’s become more acceptable to have representation than it was just a couple of decades ago. But it’s not actually everywhere, especially compared to all the heterosexual representation that’s still predominantly in the forefront. Nobody is saying there shouldn’t be any heterosexuality in media though, just that it would be nice for it not to be considered the “default”. On the other hand though, just the still small amount of LGBTQ+ representation there is is considered “too much” by the parts of society that are still holding on to bigoted beliefs. They may say “I’m not homophobic”, but their actions speak louder than words, and that’s not even getting into how most of their other words contradicts their claim of not being a bigot. So no, OP definitely has internalized homophobia, and you seem pretty unpleasant yourself for similar reasons. But because admitting OP’s internalized homophobia would require confronting your own narrow minded views, you instead immediately want to deny it all and act like everyone else is the problem. It’s easier for you to double down on why OP is somehow the victim than to unpack why you automatically agree with someone who thinks there should be “less gay” in society.
@@cloudstrife4534 lol. Wow that was a lot. Bit much don’t you think? Probably not lol.
Your rant is hilarious tho.
Just because I could understand, just like I can understand why people think there’s too many American flags in America. Doesn’t mean I hate seeing the flag. You decide, though you wanna attack me because I can understand where she’s coming from. Interesting.
Do you have white guilt? Just curious. Usually only white people come this hard. I could be wrong obviously. I also wouldn’t be surprised you were straight. I am so used to white straight people telling me how I should think feel and act. When I was younger, it was conservative ones telling me, now that I’m older it’s liberal ones telling me this. It’s awesome to always be singled out because I don’t think, act or behave the way people want me to. Amazing I am individual. People really hate that. You seem to be one of them. You have a good day now.
The story about lgbtq representation reminds me of a youtube comment I saw one time, although it wasn’t as vitriolic. The person in the comment felt that it wasn’t fair that pride took up a “whole month” and lamented that pride parades were annoying and unnecessary.
I decided to respond and went into detail about how lack of representation and social pressure doesn’t just hurt people, it hurts me. I rely on the public’s perception of me to fight for my right to exist as who I am and still receive the same rights as everyone else. I rely on pride to spread awareness and raise support for programs and bills that prevent people from inciting discriminatory business practices, or claiming that my queerness is grounds to be assaulted.
…and I went on like that for a while longer. I didn’t expect a response at all, let alone a kind one, but to my surprise, this person said they understood. They told me they didn’t realize there was such a background and civil rights involved in it. They apologized for being so coarse and said it didn’t bother them so much anymore now that they knew there was a reason for pride.
I think about that person every once in a while. While I, and I know most people aren’t used to it, sometimes the asshole isn’t the devil. Sometimes they’re just uninformed.
I live that you shared this story and that you were able to explain your pov to the other person despite probably/maybe being hurt by what they said. Some people will definitely be assholes and dont even want to understand, but we should at least try to talk to each other. I don't expect that of any person, but I hope for open communication before people just give up or start hating on each other. If you talked and explained and the other person still doesn't want to respect or understand your arguments (not even take them on as their own, just accept and maybe re evaluate their position), then there's nothing that can be done. But I commend anyone who at least tries to explain and takes their time with people - wilfully ignorant, unintentionally hurtful or whichever would be the case
First guy seems to have no empathy for the womens feelings in the situation, and only wants to fix the issue because he "suffers" from not feeling the passion that was there before. And he even posted that confidently.
Narcissist be like that.
People suffering from it (of making others suffer by having it) can and will only care about their own needs.
But they can be really charming and nice if they think you or something you do van make their life nicer.
And if you do not preform to expectations they will just dump you.
They won't care how much it could hurt you.
But also expect you to be available if they ever need you for something again.
Look at the username. Its the same guy in the next post. The first post click read is an update to the second post he read. I dont know if anyone else caught this
The Intro is always either playing dolls or guns and swords. Sometimes both and that's just how I like it
Or wearing wigs, though that's mostly in r/F U Karen or r/tragedeigh videos.
Or r/NotLikeOtherGirls@@illfatedfinch
My husband has often listened to me listening to Cliccy. Click has grown on him, which wasn't the case initially. The genuine wholesomeness, humor, and compassion has converted him to enjoying listening with me to new posts. Yesss! I brought another soul to Hell's most awesome advocate! 😂
Thank you
Was he annoyed at first?
@jaxscales6158 Sort of. Just couldn't really understand why I was so amused. It grew on him. Now he does actually laugh along with me.
I can feel a _little_ for the woman who thinks her friend is privileged. She's absolutely wrong and needs to apologize profusely, no question. But if (as I suspect) her real issue is that she's desperately miserable in her job and has lost hope, then I can understand that. I once had a job that was basically destroying me (one where I was supervised by a workplace bully); I felt helpless to leave it, and I sometimes felt deeply envious about my friends who had better jobs. Luckily, I was never so far gone that I got angry at them...but I also had a therapist and other friends to talk to. This woman needs to get a therapist and deal with her unhappiness in a better way...and stop taking out her feelings on her totally innocent and honestly pretty awesome friend.
That's the impression I got too. Nursing can be insanely stressful, and it sucks that she doesn't have better benefits and flexibility. It's okay to vent but when you're taking your anger out on someone who is HELPING you, you're the bad guy. Hope she realized that in time.
Honestly. I give a bit of grace until OP dug in heels.
A better way of saying it would have been "Thank goodness your job is so flexible that you could help me today because otherwise I don't know what I would have done. Let me know if I can make you some snacks sometime"
I have sympathy for OP about the stress and strain of her job. but.... to be bitter with the person who just helped you, who put their working time into their own eveing (after a day of being active) in order to help you out....
would OP rather her friend's job wasn't that flexible and she couldn't have helped her out?
and just tacticly... you don't piss the people off who just helped you. you might need them to help you again. learn to accept help.
@@karowolkenschaufler7659 - I said I have some sympathy - not that I agreed with her. She was _completely_ wrong. It's just, sometimes, when you're in a really bad situation, it's easy to lash out at the wrong person. Most of us have occasionally gotten really frustrated, and then taken it out on somebody who didn't deserve it. She should apologize even if her friend _couldn't_ help her, just because it's the right thing to do.
Honestly all she had to say was “damn girl you got so lucky! I wish I could get that with my job! Our benefits our awful!”
It’s the same thing, you’re jealous of your friend and want to comment on it, but instead of accusing your friend, you’re blaming your unfair work. It’s technically a compliment (with the right tone) and the friend would be neutral on the subject of your job so she would’ve had no problem agreeing and maybe even really sympathizing with your situation (if you didn’t overdo it)
Don't touch people without permission. Simple as that. You certainly don't try to pick up a random child without permission. Not that hard.
Or you could "encourage" such actions except the child in question is a bear cub or a hoglet. :^)
Its always a good day when cliccy posts
Let me fix that for you.
God, as an autistic dude (28, ftm) with a younger stepbrother (22) who's also autistic but higher support needs + learning disability, I have first hand experience with something similar to the last story because my stepbrother is also very much one who falls into obsessions, especially with those who are fair amount older than him (8+ years and have known him since he was a minor).
It is very uncomfortable to be the object of somebody's obsession as well as it can be draining for everybody involved as well, especially when it also crosses moral or mental boundaries.
I just don't understand the need to touch a pregnant woman's belly. Then to just pick up your other child? Seriously?
Entitled creep
Who tf goes and picks up people's kids? Like wtf
I don't understand it at all either, I'm glad I just looked fat during pregnancy because I absolutely hate being touched by strangers.
I find it's mainly older people who do it so maybe it them reminiscing their own pregnancies but they seem to forget that mothers aren't just incubation tanks.
It's a fae
paternal/maternal instincts that have no outlet or filter.
Im not saying its right to do the actions, apsplutly not.
But it is natural, and somewhat expected to have the urge.
17:45 “ I’d like to see how long you can manage without me” is the epitome of weaponized incompetence!!!!!!
20:36 I remember oz's volt talking about that story, long story short he is a misogynistic and believes being polite to a woman means she should be subservient to him (Oz checked his other comments)
Yeah, just being a normal human by not being a douche and expecting something in return is messed up
That makes sense, considering his words in the end of the post saying "women dictating me" kinda outs him as a mysogynist.
16:23 😂 if shes forcing you to parent, shes just parenting another kid. You shouldn't have to be reminded to parent your kids, you know when bed time is, you know when they get up. Just help 🤦♀️
17:24 well at least she knows and warned him that she was done
I dont understand where people thinking touching pregnant stranger's belly is normal??? Like ive seen my fair share but ive never touched nor thought of touching any pregnant woman's belly unprompted. I've only touched once after my aunt asked me if i wanted to feel my baby cousin kicking, but even at that age (about 10), i wouldnt even thought about touching or asking to touch it myself
The guy upset with the wife defending herself from a creepy lady reminds me of the story of the man that suddenly felt scared of his wife that beat up a man bigger than her when he tried to take their child.
"Partner" is used as a more inclusive word, and often used by LGBT people. Wonder if homophobia played a part. Or just a desire to not be inclusive for some reason.
Sexism > Homophobia
He feels disgusted by being but on an equal level with his wife
They were both women, it kinda came out that the co-worker was being homophobic because he refused to acknowledge that there were married.
It can be different for other countries also, here in Australia it is very common to use "partner".
Aside from gender neutral-ness, a lot of people atleast that I've spoken to say it feels personally weird for them as girlfriend/boyfriend can feel a bit childish (not that it is, but some people just feel weird saying that) and then fiance or wife/husband can feel weird too as almost "braggy" or unnecesary at time to mention.
Personally I more often use partner than anything else, I felt weird saying boyfriend / fiancé / husband just as it felt like an unnecessary detail and to avoid getting asked about things about our relationship plans.
Ghost mango is so blursed - those red eyes are both so unsettling and absolutely adorable
The dark slate gray looks so striking especially with thw red eyes...... Sooo wonderful
Adorabloodthirsty
Creepy cute is the best kind of cute
@@BarbieDreamDungeon aradia
42:03 > _im not homophobic, im a [lesbian]_
This screams like r/AsABlackMan.
It just feels like “I swear I’m not racist but…”😂
😂😂 frr
That father-daughter story reminds me so much of my mom, who kept insinuating I was sleeping with my male best friend. For context: we had known each other for a few years and we just liked to cuddle to comfort each other (we were both going through a pretty tough time). Even after I told my mom about that (multiple times even and always insisting I didn't like him romantically, even telling her about my current rush at another time) she was still incredibly weird about it. One time my mom even told my grandma that "Whatever (my name) does with a man in her bedroom is her thing, since she is 18..." and then proudly told me about it. Sometimes parents don't understand and that's normal, but their inability to just keep their thoughts to themselves is so draining. :,)
I had the ‘you like him, he makes you laugh’, (we were ok friends as long as politics never came up) but, mom, I’m asexual and I introduced him to my best friend they’re happily married now. We would not have been romantically compatible if I was straight, for one he’s got some white male privilege to work through and I’m mixed race.
There are A LOT of people who think opposite genders can't be actual friends with no sex. It's ridiculous ofc, but if they do believe it, no wonder they act like this.
Yooo, Grandma is the OG! I love that so much! Also agree about keeping their mouths shut. Internal thoughts and external thoughts. Separate the two, please! Sometimes it seems like due to the age difference and power dynamic that some parents just thought vomit on their kids without a filter, or they try to use them as a substitute for therapy. Both of which are harmful and can lead to unhealthy relationships.
Also, physical contact like cuddling does help improve moods, create endorphins, etc and it really isn't any different from your pet coming for cuddles when they know that you're upset. I hate when people boil any male/female interactions past about age 11 down to romantic or sexual, and nothing else exists. First off, that's just plain false. It also creates a large and unhealthy rift between the sexes.
Two of my best friends in high school were boys; one straight, one gay. Neither one ever put the moves on me or vice versa. My straight best friend even invited me to sleep over at his house one night when I was having a hard time. Mom vetoed that, lol, but his mom was like, "It's cool, we have a spare bedroom as well as big comfortable couches. Plus, my bedroom is between the two and I'd hear anything." He and I had a lot in common and could empathize with each other well. I honestly really miss both relationships.
I guess in my larger friend groups we were a bit like puppies. 😅 Not unusual to see a couple of us of mixed genders sitting in each other's laps, laying on each other, hugging, putting arms around each other and cuddling, and it usually wasn't sexual or romantic, unless their was a couple, and they still reigned it in while in the group. It was just friend bonding and was comforting. During our senior prom party most of us were piled up on the floor with a few large floor pillows. One girls high school birthday party three of her close friends, including myself, all slept sideways on her twin bed, one was a guy. It was super uncomfortable for me with chronic pain, but nobody was on the cold, hard floor. I do kinda wish we'd have stayed downstairs on their huge comfy couches though! 😅 You typically see that group behavior in young girls where they do each other's hair, sleep in the same bed, hold hands while walking, and hug. Those are just friend behaviors. It's not until parents plant that seed of division and idea that "any contact is sexual contact," that kids start to split and things get weird.
@@Just1Norayessss the cuddle puddle parties are amazing
I had three close guy friends in elementary school. And while my parents didn't call me a wh0re or a slüt, they somewhat implied in a non-sexual way that I was leading all these men on. Nothing I said or did convinced them that there were no romantic feelings involved.
In middle school and highschool, I had to keep all my male friends a secret from my parents because I was told that it was no longer appropriate. That even if I wanted to be "just friends" with these boys, which neither of them believed, then all these boys definitely wanted to sleep with me.
And then when I was 18 and they finally discovered I was asexual with a strong romantic preference for women, they were shocked and wanted to rush me to a doctor to see if my gayness could be cured. 🙄
If I still spoke to my parents, they'd be horrified and confused to find out that I have a male roommate and that there are no feelings of attraction between us.
33:17 i refer to my boyfriend as my “partner” very often.
not only bc it doesn’t force me to come out to anyone, but also because it sounds more serious than “boyfriend”. i’ve always felt like people didn’t take the words “boyfriend/girlfriend” seriously so i decided to use one that would make people understand that my relationship is serious.
anyway, i fucking love my partner.
That story about the random stranger touching the pregnant woman, I think that mom taught her daughter a important life lesson that day. " You don't need to be polite if its your safety". Something similar happened to me in my childhood and it took me years to build my boundaries. These things may seem small but it is important to teach children about respecting their and other people's boundaries. So good on that mom!
The only way the "partner" thing would be NTA is if the friend was calling your wife your "partner" because they object to you being married (because you're gay/interracial/whatever). Like, my parents used to do that about my dad's coworker's wife because she a lesbian and they didn't agree with gay marriage (I'm pretty sure they still don't, but they've accepted there's not much they could do about it now)
I was thinking the same.
I would bet anything that Diamond is a stripper and she stopped playing when she realized he really planned on divorce, and she didn't actually plan on a relationship.
If she's real
The story sounds like a little too movie like to be real imo.
I had a feeling Diamond wasnt her real name I GURANTEE that "Diamond" is her stripper name
Or a sugarbabe or something, definetly only keept him around for money.
That last story managed to give me flashbacks to a criminal minds episode where a serial killer got obsessed with his dead babysitter and abducted women made them lookalikes etc. and well got rid of them when he got what he wanted
I love how everyone who writes in AITD tried so hard to make it sound like their the good guy by removing details and being vague and they STILL end up being the asshole 😭🙏
7:10 reminds me of that funny clip of that Australian woman complaining about how her husband had a tragic accident where he "slipped and fell and landed in another woman and has been stuck there ever sense" (loosely quoted) it makes me laugh every time I see it.
The fact that the person mad about his wife being called a partner could have just "Yes, though I'd prefer you just use the term wife please " and it would have been fine
did you know that frogs and spiders formed symbiotic relationships, where the frog will protect the spiders eggs from bugs that would try to eat them and the spider would protect the frog from larger predators?
Wait what? I have a large funnel spider in my backyard that chills out next to a small frog. I thought that was so bizarre and now reading this it makes me so happy to think they’re friends! 🥰🕷️🐸
I didn't, but now I do
Thanks informative stranger!
And now im afraid of frogs too
how did the spider protect a frog from a large predator? can spiders even fight a frog?
@@_Iemonboy. sounds like spiders are biting snakes or slugs to protect the frogs
Man I hate it when people are like "but I was drunk when I said that". Oh yeah, did the wine bottle posess you and forced you to say something you never thought of and didn't mean? Maybe consult the local pastor or something, because it wasn't the alcohol that made you do it. Stop using it as an excause.
Especially when what he said was that his wife was a "6" to his friend (he admitted to it in the comments)
@@lina9535 Honestly that makes a lot of sense, and any women would feel hurt by that.
Also the fact that he made a self report in the comments xD
In fact, it was more like 'In Vino Veritas' for that particular AH.
Yeah. Theres a reason they say "A drunk man's words are a sober man's thoughts." A good reason to never be that drunk.
@@lina9535he said that? I didn't think his comment from the video was that bad, but that changes things.
25:22 The only acceptable reason to drag his wife and daughter out of there was to protect him from the absolutely crazy lady... Dude is off his rocker if he thinks that's acceptable.
In Australia partner is widely considered the most appropriate term for anyones husband/wife or boyfriend/girlfriend. Because it means that no one has to feel discriminated against and can still talk publicly about their personal life with no worry of being treated unfairly for their relationship status and sexuality
47:25 I’ve been experiencing this myself and I have no idea why 18-22 yr olds are suddenly attracted to me at 36 myself. I’ve been told it’s the mothering energy I have.
That dude who went nuts over someone calling their wife a partner might be more than a bit homophobic.
If the wife really does agree with him they may well be THAT KIND of religious people who insist on all the "right" words and behaviors. At least that's a thought that crossed my tiny mind.
@@barrylangille3523I would also bet that they call every one and every thing a snowflake
@@unbekannternutzer25the irony
@@barrylangille3523 probably also the same bunch of fuckers who will throw a fit because a traumatised individual was describing a terrible scene with "naughty words", and "naughty words" are unacceptable, not the terrible thing they're tyring to report.
The moment that woman touched the pregnant lady without consent and then not only touched but grabbed the child without consent, she committed assault and possibly attempted kidnapping if they wanted to frame it that way. At that point the punch was self-defense and defense of her child. I'm not a fan of violence, but this was 1000% defensible.
Cheaters, always cheat. I suffer from depression,but I have never even thought of being unfaithful to my husband of 37 years.
What an amazing relationship you have!
I hope your depression will get better.
For the middle story. My best friend and I improved our relationship a great deal when we decided not to compare our lives. We have a saying, “the grass isn’t greener, it’s just different grass.” Basically, there’s pros and cons to every situation.
Fun Fact: People often use the colloquial term "falling down a rabbit hole" without realizing it's a reference to Alice in Wonderland.
Who doesn't realize it? Come on.
I wonder how many people think it's from _The Matrix?_
@@zumazuma568A lot of people yourself likely included use terms and phrases referenced from literature and pop culture. That's just how language evolves.
@@AIHumanEquality i very much know where "down the rabbit hole" comes from, as well as most other common pop culture references, so speak for yourself
i always thought about how similiar it was to Alice in wonderland, didn't know it was an actual reference
To be fair, all OPs (if the story is from their perspective) are the protagonist. Protagonist doesn't mean hero, it just means the main character of the story.
Actually when netizens say "they think they're the protagonist", we mean they think they're the most important person in the story and the world should revolve around them. Same with saying "they act like they're the main character". Technically they are the person telling the story, but they are also self-important. Hope that helps
I guess Diamond wasn't forever in this case...
I just cackled like someone in need of an intervention from Granny Weatherwax after reading this! Thank you!
@@BlueTressymGranny Weatherwax would say that this is exactly why she never had any truck with that romantic nonsense.
@@keltai83 Undoubtedly!
"My wife has stopped asking me to take care of our kids. What should I do?" lol
It is really common to call people's significant others "partner" in Australia, regardless of whether they're married or not
Yeah as an Aussie I love the term, it shows that my relationship is more than just Boyfriend/girlfriend but we haven't gotten around to the marriage part. I also like that it makes it ambiguous what the gender of my partner is, lol scares the homophobes into keeping their bullshit to themselves since they don't know for sure I'm in a hetero relationship.
I don’t understand why people get upset over it. Wouldn’t you want that person to be your partner in life?!
But don't you call anyone "partner" in Australia, regardless of how close you are to them? Isn't that the stereotype?
@@silkwesir1444 nope. That's "mate". Pretty sure you're thinking about cowboys.
@@Celestialite21 Lmao.
Click: It can't get worse
This subreddit: Hold my beer😂
Click: it can't get worse!
Universe: ..you wanna effing bet? 😂
About the "it's a wife not a partner" guy: he very much strucks me as a homophobe. Just the whole "I don't have a partner, I have a WIFE" thing feels like those boomers who'll say "I'm a man, so I have a wife, not something else!" U get it? I can't really explain it better...
100% my thoughts
I was thinking about it!
Okay, so you guys get it 😌
It's because referring to your wife as a partner isn't a big deal. The fact they're throwing a fit over something so tiny *screams* insecurity and implies there's another reason they can't say out loud about why they're reacting that way.
@@lunarrobot9714 yes 100%
They don’t want to say it because of that
35:40 One of my best friends is in a medical profession, at a pretty prestigious level. (She’s not a doctor but we’re all very proud and appreciative of what she does.) There are times when she’s cried on my shoulder about emotionally difficult cases, but never ONCE has she expressed envy towards anyone else, not to mention my partner who works from home. OP *chose* that profession. OP WENT TO SCHOOL for that profession. To pretend that you don’t have the agency that you *do* have over your own life is so childish.
The story with the dad thinking the daughter liked the friend. Like wtf she is grieving a friend and he goes ooh you are looking at him and are having romantic/sexual thoughts and blushing. Especially since she has had this fight with him; it would have been annoying when he was alive and it is probably hurts worst now that he is dead.
On a side note: if she did love him romantically, (like the dad thought) then the dad is joking with her about her feelings whilst the person she likes is dead.
"Use your vacation as a chance to test your survival skills in the wilderness!" So, go camping?
“O-oh no 😰I only wanted to make people feel guilty for relaxing but I’ll never actually do any of this stuff during MY vacation “
So many words for like, a perfectly normal hobby people engage in lmao
The pendantry of the guy upset over the term 'partner' for his, uh, partner, reminds me of a conversation I had when I was a teenager with my mother's idiot of an ex. I forget the exact context, but he told me something and followed it up with "I'm learning you something", to which I corrected him and said "You mean you're 'teaching' me something?" because the irony of the exchange was kind of funny.
He then pulled a face at me and said "How can I teach you something? I'm not a teacher." And after a couple of attempts to explain to him that he technically was I gave up and went to my room.
Also, regarding the upset over the specific term 'partner', it could also be faintly rooted in homophobia. As if the genderless term could imply his wife isn't a woman. Not necessarily reflected in what we were told, I'm more inclined to think the guy was just dumb and only thinks of 'partner' in the context of 'business partner' but something to consider.
Humans do have a natural instinct for picking up vibes from people and it's often okay to listen to those vibes however, don't only go off what you think someone will be like who you haven't met, that's how prejudice is born.
I once had alarm bells going off at DEFCON-1 the moment a professor entered a crowded room, and before he said anything to me or anyone else. This was the first and only time we met, and I can't, to this day, point out what was off. I had to leave early because of how insistent the danger meter was.
Never heard about him again, presumably a totally normal guy. Sometimes the vibe sense is just a paranoid whacko.
@@lefase4608There’s a building in the city of my town (I live in the county) that I get bad vibes from and I don’t know why.
It got built like a year or two ago and it’s very tall.
@@lydiaboll2872 In the case of buildings (rather than people) that bad vibe feeling, or a sense of creepiness, can come from nearby power lines or transformers generating electromagnetic fields. Many "haunted houses" are actually caused by this.
Agreed. This is how autistic people get socially ostracized.
Actually, that is the actual definition of prejudice.
It’s already been born at that point.
I love that the guy complains about his wife acting "Stepford", as if having the kids presented to him before bed wasn't some weird romanticised 1950s shit 😂
39:21 If she said she was lucky I could understand but privileged is just insulting Edit: I wanted to clarify, not lucky as in it's pure luck you got this job and I'm better because I work harder but in a It's so lucky your job is so flexible. Your job is amazing, wish I could find a job similar
The child of that woman who punched a stranger in the face for trying to pick up said child... she's not going to be traumatized by her mother. She might be more scared of strangers after that experience! But she also knows for sure that mummy's got her back!!!