How Narcissists Keep Their Affairs Hidden

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  • Опубликовано: 2 окт 2024

Комментарии • 110

  • @terrywade3696
    @terrywade3696 3 месяца назад +44

    “The fog”! Hello! “The ten things” he throws into an argument that have nothing to do with the conversation at hand! Whenever I brought up something, an unmet need, a discrepancy on his part, a criticism of his actions, whatever I wanted to address in order to resolve an issue, he would take over the conversation and start spewing things in ten different directions rapid fire that he would make my head spin in overload! I’m trying to process all of this DEFLECTION and he keeps going until I shut down. A well tuned form of bullying that worked very well for him for a very long time. So well, that I would almost feel like I was in a trance, a fog that I couldn’t put a finger on what just happened. I was overwhelmed by all of the side doors he would open and all of the weeds he would walk me into in these conversations! UNTIL, I caught him cheating and his mask slipped! The veil parted. I SEE the creature! I had to do a lot of research to learn about narcissism and all of their tactics. The FOG has lifted. I don’t engage. There really isn’t anything to fight for or about. I’m done. I filed for divorce. Now he’s playing the victim. And he can’t understand why I chose a lawyer instead of a less expensive arbitrator! It’s the FOG! I shudder at the thought of him trying these tactics with an arbitrator and having any amount of control of the narrative! So I told him, “I hired an attorney to protect me FROM YOU! I NEED PROTECTION FROM YOU!”
    Thank you, Ben for putting a name to it! IT’S THE FOG! A narcissist is a fog machine!

    • @KarenFlynn-k4p
      @KarenFlynn-k4p 3 месяца назад +3

      Good for you, I did the same thing many years ago and have never looked back. Life is wonderful now. Best of Luck❤

    • @never4saken165
      @never4saken165 3 месяца назад +2

      U are me and I am you, same story to a T ! I would also shut down. I walked away from a 31 yr relationship. Haven’t seen him in about a yr. Unfortunately we have 1 son together who’s an even worst narcissist so our relationship is nonexistent . Please follow thru with the divorce, GET OUT !

    • @terrywade3696
      @terrywade3696 3 месяца назад +3

      @@never4saken165 Thank you for your encouragement. 35 years for me. I’m on my way!

    • @janedoh123
      @janedoh123 3 месяца назад +1

      Go straight to court, it’s where I’m going
      The devil has a restraining order from these people

  • @jaquelinejimenez
    @jaquelinejimenez 3 месяца назад +26

    The truth will always come out no matter what you do it will bite you in your behind.

  • @ivonkwAn6443
    @ivonkwAn6443 3 месяца назад +32

    3 SIM cards,
    3 email addresses,
    at least 3 profiles on FB and other media🙈

    • @sweett1471
      @sweett1471 3 месяца назад +6

      The narc I was involved with had several hidden phones,FB profiles,email addresses, cashapps,sim cards. He manged to make sure I had no time from him. I could barely answer my phone when he was around. He called, texted me when I was at work or away from him. He was physically, verbally emotionally abusive. I've be gone for 2 yrs and 4 months. Whew!

    • @leeboriack8054
      @leeboriack8054 3 месяца назад +2

      Why the need for so many faces?

    • @ivonkwAn6443
      @ivonkwAn6443 3 месяца назад

      @@leeboriack8054 becouse it's their game🙈...they are running away from real,normal life

    • @never4saken165
      @never4saken165 3 месяца назад

      @@ivonkwAn6443 🤦🏽‍♀️

  • @ladycancer9330
    @ladycancer9330 3 месяца назад +5

    6 years and I was totally hidden. Finally left.

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  3 месяца назад

      It's never too late to begin your healing journey! Join our free masterclass and discover how to break free from toxic relationships here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..

    • @Divyabaniwal-v8z
      @Divyabaniwal-v8z 2 месяца назад

      ​@@RawMotivationsMy relationship is of 9 years, I have been made to cry a lot but I am not able to stay away, he is hiding everything Does a narcissist get into another relationship too quickly? 😢

  • @traceyross8528
    @traceyross8528 3 месяца назад +5

    Mines cheating on me with men and women! I've got all the sordid texts! It's absolute hell living like this!

  • @shannonwalden8519
    @shannonwalden8519 3 месяца назад +29

    I've felt like he confesses to me in little ways. Example would be that he gets all kinds of women "friend requests"...or that he thinks he's good looking or he says that women at work ask if he's married or that he knows of some swingers at work. I asked him point blank one day at a restaurant if he ever cheated on me. He didnt answer at first. Then he said that he's never cheated on me but his eyes shifted and he looked down .

    • @robinengland8567
      @robinengland8567 3 месяца назад +4

      Yep he's cheated 😔

    • @redonionsyummy
      @redonionsyummy 3 месяца назад +4

      Plan your escape

    • @cherylsbrown5149
      @cherylsbrown5149 3 месяца назад +6

      Mine would never admit nor deny. He knows that I know. I have had numerous reasons to question his fidelity...ie...he was staring down a seductively dressed server. When I confronted him about it, he denied knowing her and commented on her skin tight laced up the side pants. He had this sick look on his face a day or so later when his lie was revealed. He had worked on her boat just before the restaurant incident. I am going to go out on a limb and say that the boat was not the only thing that he worked on. The sad thing is...this was not the first time he had cheated with a woman aboard their boat. O no longer have to worry about being served up a STD!

    • @bobsanderz3005
      @bobsanderz3005 3 месяца назад +1

      Trust your gut.

  • @Shaggy_Campbell
    @Shaggy_Campbell 3 месяца назад +21

    The best way to deal with a narcist is to not let them know that you know what they are doing, and dont tell them anything you are planning to do, sunrise them like they surprise you ;),,

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  3 месяца назад

      It's never too late to begin your healing journey! Join our free masterclass and discover how to break free from toxic relationships here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..

    • @lizzyp174
      @lizzyp174 3 месяца назад +4

      Very true because if you let a narcissist know you're on to them, they will start a war you will never win

    • @Shaggy_Campbell
      @Shaggy_Campbell 3 месяца назад

      @@lizzyp174 That is a true story, Years gone by they called these people Witches. Today they call them Narcist,
      A witch dont cast spells by boiling frogs in a kettle by the light of the moon, They use gas lighting flying Monkeys to cast spells. They destroy your character.
      When a Narcist tells you someone lied, say* tell me the lie he or she told** and I'll research it and get back at ya.. they will lock up their brain cause they never expected that quesion,,
      Also when they get cornered they will accuse you of picking and choosing,,thats when you know you have them in a corner, tell them you told the whole story and it was them that left parts out , so Whos Picking and choosing?? Got em again trying!!!

  • @VEERAWAY
    @VEERAWAY 3 месяца назад +23

    Family members/ toxic in laws will help

  • @leeboriack8054
    @leeboriack8054 3 месяца назад +5

    After I left my first narcissist, I was in a fog for several years.
    I realized I hadn’t regained my self trust and sense of worth.

  • @GodHelpMe369
    @GodHelpMe369 3 месяца назад +3

    I die of grief and rage and loneliness
    I want to die
    grief and rage rape me
    my soul is tortured and tormented
    and haunted and raped
    I'm lonely as all hell
    I've been raped all my life
    I cannot wait to die
    MY VOICE HAS BEEN SILENCED
    MY WHOLE DAMN LIFE.
    MY BEAUTIFUL SACRED MIRACULOUS VOICE.
    MY VOICE IS MY MAGICAL GIFT OF TRANSMUTATION!
    that being said,
    all my life...
    I have given people access to me
    in ways that I should not have EVER
    granted them access
    now,
    I want to scream
    at the top of my lungs:
    FUCK OFF!!
    YOU DO NOT GET TO HAVE ACCESS TO ME IN THAT WAY!!
    THE DOOR IS NOT OPEN!!
    YOU MAY NOT COME IN!!
    ACCESS DENIED!!
    I've been programmed my whole life to be silent,
    conditioned to have no boundaries...

  • @sharnelgezwint3990
    @sharnelgezwint3990 3 месяца назад +8

    Lord they lie so much...

    • @suekeita9535
      @suekeita9535 3 месяца назад

      Lies are second nature to them!!

  • @bels4116
    @bels4116 3 месяца назад +12

    wow! in your intro you described exactly how it was with my now ex narc of 25 yrs! Thankyou, thankyou, thankyou.

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 3 месяца назад

      nice awareness. my ex narc died on what would've been our 30th wedding anniversary. #TheyKNOW

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 3 месяца назад +1

      zero remorse was their signature

  • @leahjoli2327
    @leahjoli2327 3 месяца назад +3

    Love is an action word. My ex said everything goes his way. Everyone trusts him. Master manipulator. Actor that should consider acting for a career.

  • @lovehonesty
    @lovehonesty 3 месяца назад +48

    So true. A popular thing he’d say when I’d ask about his schedule was “I already told you!” And yet I was certain he hadn’t.
    Also he never told me he loved me. But I thought he showed it through being a great provider and in the bedroom. But nowhere else. Lots of control, manipulation, gaslighting etc.

    • @kimgordon3695
      @kimgordon3695 3 месяца назад

      😢

    • @lizzyp174
      @lizzyp174 3 месяца назад +3

      How is it possible they are all EXACTLY the same?
      Is as if they are all learning the same script and being "taught" by the same teacher= 👹

    • @carolnahigian9518
      @carolnahigian9518 3 месяца назад

      My EX husband, not only cheated but 4 k😅ds all 4 kids went allong for the RIDE AND ALL FOUR discarded me

    • @sherrimorris1375
      @sherrimorris1375 3 месяца назад

      Wow ! I get the same response. I already told you. And I always have to ask what his plans are.

    • @sherrimorris1375
      @sherrimorris1375 3 месяца назад +1

      It's like running in circles within a conversation. Very stressful. An excuse for EVERYTHING! I believe he likes to push my buttons for a reaction. It takes practice to grey wall and not respond to the accusations.

  • @UWABEAUTY247
    @UWABEAUTY247 3 месяца назад +6

    “Don’t defend yourself over things that are not true” what an eye opener.🙏

  • @tammyfitzgerald5336
    @tammyfitzgerald5336 2 месяца назад +1

    Never ending story ❤❤❤❤run and disappear only way 🙌😘✊🏾♌️✊🏾

  • @kimgordon3695
    @kimgordon3695 3 месяца назад +3

    Grasping what compartmentalization means & ADDRESSING it is what restored our relationship. it's a #BATTLE

  • @janedoh123
    @janedoh123 3 месяца назад +2

    Compassion is what they lack and that’s what makes them how they are

  • @leahlynn9052
    @leahlynn9052 3 месяца назад +3

    I wanna know how, what & why you saw the light & woke up taking a look inward?

  • @Anthony-qg2qy
    @Anthony-qg2qy 3 месяца назад +8

    Women do this too ..i know ..spent the last 9 years in a horrible relationship

  • @danielchallenger979
    @danielchallenger979 3 месяца назад +5

    The things you described in this video made a huge amount of sense as to what most likely was going on in my ex’s mind when she was cheating and during the last few months of the relationship in which I am convinced she was cheating a second time. Her behavior perfectly matches up with the thought process described in this video.

  • @tiffers8099
    @tiffers8099 3 месяца назад +20

    I got out a month ago and I’m so happy and feel relief and freedom but still question my faults “was I to blame?” etc

    • @lisap3628
      @lisap3628 3 месяца назад +4

      No I bet you were not
      ..

    • @charlesdemar9612
      @charlesdemar9612 3 месяца назад +3

      Nope,mine of ten years made me feel the same,his loss youre a good looking chick and if you were taken by a narc youre a good chick too..keep your head up

    • @robinengland8567
      @robinengland8567 3 месяца назад +7

      I'm currently in the same situation...I'm doing all I can to unmind fuck myself 👌

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  3 месяца назад +1

      Let’s help with that www.rawmotivations.com/breakthrough

    • @never4saken165
      @never4saken165 3 месяца назад +8

      That’s from the mental & emotional abuse , you will continue to reflect back questioning rather or not you made the right decision. Let me assure you, YOU DID

  • @ireneuszkijak7871
    @ireneuszkijak7871 3 месяца назад +6

    Of course...my boyfriend just came to me (we are together for the last 9 months together, not living together, but spending time together up to now) after spending the last week together in one place, not making love, cause there was always something, meaning, me triggering him with...pick whatever you want..."the soup was too salty"...accusing me, that its my fault, that we don't make love, because i trigger him negatively on the evening...so no love...the days were passing ok, so why we didnt make love during the day or on the morning? This question of mine did of course provoke aggression...
    Does it mean, that he is cheating on me? Maybe not now, during those days, but with this kind of behaviours he justifies the "future" cheating...maybe tomorrow or after tomorrow, when we are not together...

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  3 месяца назад

      Appreciate you sharing your story. It must have been really tough. I'd love to invite you to our free masterclass where you can learn how to break free from toxic relationships. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

  • @Zookeeper.
    @Zookeeper. 3 месяца назад +4

    Well.. there are things that cannot be hidden to some who know enough about our various natures..
    "Narcissism" is slowly receding in the face of proper values.

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  3 месяца назад

      We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

  • @haroldhendricks1167
    @haroldhendricks1167 3 месяца назад +2

    You mean She. You keep saying He. Definitely just as many female Narcissist out there

  • @CorbinB-Rax
    @CorbinB-Rax 3 месяца назад +3

    How did you do that camera shift at 5 mins

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  3 месяца назад

      Thank you for your comment, here is the link www.rawmotivations.com/survivor

  • @ScoutMcGovern-vd1rx
    @ScoutMcGovern-vd1rx 3 месяца назад +1

    He was working In training Some broad in her 20s And I found pictures of her sitting on his lap and found text of her inviting him for ice cream And his excuse was That she was an overly friendly girl Yeah Right😅 I'm not an idiot

  • @lisaariottiart
    @lisaariottiart 2 месяца назад +2

    You may not see it but you WILL feel it.

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  2 месяца назад

      Hi there, have you thought about the next steps you should take in your healing journey? I would like to invite you to be a part of this free masterclass discover how to break free from toxic relationships and empower your self by gaining clarity, certainty and confidence here www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass..

  • @shonniecoleman6026
    @shonniecoleman6026 3 месяца назад +5

    I’m dealing with this right now… it hurts so bad I completely cut him off today and I’m pregnant but I’m so tired. I even left town bc so much was happening he ignored tf outta me and has an excuses blocks my calls ignored my calls n text and I’m the problem for having emotions

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  3 месяца назад

      We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

    • @shonniecoleman6026
      @shonniecoleman6026 3 месяца назад

      @@RawMotivations I signed up already thank u so much

  • @mac-ju5ot
    @mac-ju5ot 3 месяца назад +2

    As far as I'm concerned he can have her . I was told we were dine years ago....so as my old boss who cheated u learn that the behaviors repeated

  • @APToyetic
    @APToyetic 3 месяца назад +4

    The woman I am dealing with cheats on her boyfriend with me and other men. She has said she is good at compartmentalizing. I don’t know if she knows she is a narcissist or if she is just aware she is good at compartmentalizing and struggles with empathy. One day we were making out heavily and she was telling me she loves me and wanted it to work with us, but also wanted it to work with her bf. The next morning she acted as if none of it mattered and told me she needs to focus on her bf. What is all that about?

    • @excuseyou6795
      @excuseyou6795 3 месяца назад +3

      It means she is narcissistic and only cares about her wants and needs. She doesn’t love you or her boyfriend, she only loves herself. She doesn’t have your best interest and never will. You are just a supply to her. So RUN while you can

    • @Hendrix-Jimi
      @Hendrix-Jimi 3 месяца назад +3

      If she's in St Francis MN, that's my gf.....and yes, she is a narcissist. Her name is Leslie....lol. if she'll cheat with you she will cheat on you....

    • @Hendrix-Jimi
      @Hendrix-Jimi 3 месяца назад

      Let's grab a beer.

    • @APToyetic
      @APToyetic 3 месяца назад +2

      How does her bf not know? I knew right away, she isn’t a very good liar. They live together and she often doesn’t come home until late. She has multiple sources of supply. I don’t understand. I already tried to go no contact with her. I went 3 months and then let my anger out one day. Showed her all my emotions and now we are sort of talking again. I know what she is, it is just hard to let go. When I went no contact, she tried to smear my name at work. Luckily for me, everyone at work already knew she was a liar. I rather keep some contact so that she doesn’t say anything about me. So frustrating.

    • @sharnelgezwint3990
      @sharnelgezwint3990 3 месяца назад +1

      Yoh😭💀

  • @tabbycat802
    @tabbycat802 3 месяца назад +2

    What about the demonic side I am thinking u r the heat flare. See you.

  • @APToyetic
    @APToyetic 3 месяца назад +4

    The woman I am dealing with cheats on her boyfriend with me and other men. She has said she is good at compartmentalizing. I don’t know if she knows she is a narcissist or if she is just aware she is good at compartmentalizing and struggles with empathy. One day we were making out heavily and she was telling me she loves me and wanted it to work with us, but also wanted it to work with her bf. The next morning she acted as if none of it mattered and told me she needs to focus on her bf. What is all that about?

    • @redsquirrel1086
      @redsquirrel1086 3 месяца назад

      So you're sleeping with a whore then?

    • @saramarie9678
      @saramarie9678 3 месяца назад

      Sounds like you’re just as bad as her, having no problem messing around with a taken woman. Even if that woman is a slut. Wrong on both sides.

    • @sexygabby30
      @sexygabby30 3 месяца назад

      Boyfriends are what they are Boy that’s a friend no commitment.. it’s a dating thing to live and let live y’all put too much emphasis on friendship instead of unionism ( marriage) it’s called finding the right one take long long time that is what she is doing doesn’t make one narcissistic cause they do that. It’s a serious medical psychological condition that has to be diagnosed. However ppl do that.

    • @ScarlettClark-id5it
      @ScarlettClark-id5it 3 месяца назад +3

      Run!!! She will pull you down and mess up your life if you let her.

    • @davidsalo8397
      @davidsalo8397 3 месяца назад +1

      Unless you like living a shallow life, where impulsive behavior dominates those you choose to be close with, leave!!

  • @briannawalter7053
    @briannawalter7053 3 месяца назад +1

    He is very secretive with his phone if i ask questions about it he goes into defense mode and tells me i dont need to be asking him questions and goes on to say well your the one getting text messages changing it around on me . His phone is always turned upside down never gets on it around me and is always leaving it in the car while going in a store..never ever gets a notification of any sort.. He never reassures me that im wrong he just says whatever you say!! Am i overreacting about this suspision?

    • @leeboriack8054
      @leeboriack8054 3 месяца назад

      Why the need for such privacy and more importantly why make you feel bad about yourself over it?

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  2 месяца назад

      That's a great question! You can discover the answer by joining our free masterclass at www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

  • @Itsmeandthatsok2
    @Itsmeandthatsok2 3 месяца назад +2

    So many lies

  • @annettealrand9736
    @annettealrand9736 3 месяца назад +1

    Good video very informative

  • @janedoh123
    @janedoh123 3 месяца назад

    They keep you in a constant loop of fear anxiety and use up your time so you don’t have any time to think about anything logically and he had his go to crushing one liner “ you’re a lying ba#t@rd” “ which would throw me off and cause a huge amount shame by triggering my own feelings around lies. I didn’t lie or do anything wrong to him, but by admitting something from my past he twisted that into I’m a liar hence traumatising me from something that I didn’t use to perceive as lying ( and it wasn’t it was an omission and it was for my own safety) and I couldn’t believe that he managed to close me down and I was defending myself from ‘facts’ he plucked from the air and decided that they were true!! ( hindsight is insightful but necessary in order to move on and pretty quickly, not with another person but with my life and in peace I have my privacy back )
    I realise that I was the rebound but he’s someone else’s problem now
    I don’t know why this showed up on my feed ? Maybe it’s time to divorce him yes definitely 💯 it’s why I’ve seen this I don’t need to wait any longer there’s no kids car’s money or houses ( well not his) I’m not totally stupid

  • @pinkheartfairy
    @pinkheartfairy 3 месяца назад +3

    Loved your video...😢

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  3 месяца назад

      We're here to support your healing journey. Come join us in this free masterclass to learn about the secret methods on breaking free from the toxic. Just head over to www.rawmotivations.com/masterclass.

  • @VEERAWAY
    @VEERAWAY 3 месяца назад +1

    💯💯💯💯💯💯💯

  • @indymg4456
    @indymg4456 3 месяца назад +1

    😮‍💨😔

  • @anitahedgecock1968
    @anitahedgecock1968 3 месяца назад +1

    ✨💫✨💫✨🦋

  • @Joy.1111
    @Joy.1111 3 месяца назад

    Yes.

  • @Dustie-tj4xh
    @Dustie-tj4xh 3 месяца назад

    I need help.

    • @RawMotivations
      @RawMotivations  3 месяца назад

      Would love to help you on your healing journey. If I can be of help feel free to grab a time here at www.rawmotivations.com