Thank you for this update. I‘ve probably watched every one of your detransition videos. I transitioned MTF in 2016 at 14 Years old. Really crazy to think that’s even legal, if I look back on it from the eyes of a 20 year old. I detransitioned in Summer of 2022 cancelled my 3 Year HRT Estradiol + Lupron ( Blockers ) I thankfully passed as a girl / woman so I don’t have any mental scarring more than it needed to be. I‘m thankfully 6 Foot 1 and I‘m just enough androgynous to now pass as a man. The little nubbin‘ breast slowly went away although there’s still a bit more to go. The "Girl‘s Butt" is still there but that’ll hopefully go away as time and exercise goes on. Testosterone production seems not to have been harmed at all. That is great news. Everything is slowly coming back and I‘ll finally go through puberty as I‘m supposed to. Once I got out of my rut and went to school again, being the best student of my class and finally recognising my capabilities, something clicked inside me. I felt worth it. I reestablished contacts to my Dad and extended family. Made up with my Mom. And once I felt like I‘m more so at the top of society my depression slowly but surely went away. The only problem in my life was "The gender crisis" It was all suffocating. My life was perfect except the self made problem of gender confusion. I came to terms with my self. Told all of my family members I’m detransitioning, cut my hair, went to my endocrinologist to talk things out about hormones, fertility etc. I’m so glad I never had any sort of surgeries just like you. Jazz Jennings once was my role model. Now she’s just the experiment with a failed surgery and binge eating. It’s too sad. Thank you for sharing your story. You’re one of the tipping points leading to my detransition. I just didn’t know where to start, especially because detransitioning is so looked down upon by the ABC Mafia. Escaping the lefts agenda and reorienting myself as Center-Right also helped in becoming the person I am today. The changes are quick. I’ll slowly start being an adult and use every resource I can gather. Thank you. And have a good one.
Tbh I don’t think detransition is looked down upon by the ABC mafia. I run in a lot of LGBT circles, especially with a lot of trans friends, and if anything, they’re more vocal about supporting detransitioners than anyone else (I had never even known there was such a thing until one of my trans friends mentioned supporting detransitioners). I think that they only become wary of some because there seems to be a trend of detransitioners also becoming anti-trans, just because the process of transition didn’t work out for them. As you intimated, you find it crazy to think that medical transition is available to minors, indicating you’d support banning such medical care, which would be incredibly harmful to many trans people. It would be like trying to ban antidepressants to minors with depression simply because you had bad side effects from one of said medications. I think alot of trans people also resent the implication that being trans is in any way political. For you, it seems that you viewed being trans as a symptom of your political leanings (going from left to centre right, in your own words). Many, if not most trans people I’ve ever met knew they were trans and experienced gender dysphoria long before they knew anything about politics (most cases of gender dysphoria present in childhood), and many more before being trans became politicized.
I really struggle to understand this. Having gone through this journey, do you have any understanding of what started this whole process? I'm glad you found your place ❤
I found this to be another very interesting video, and it was nice to hear your experience after all this time. I have been MTF trans for three years, but zero medical transition, and have not came out. Recently I have been doubting the validity of me feeling intrinsically feminine yet having a male biological body, and my sporadic doubts are now reaching fever pitch. I don't really feel very manly, but I can accept my biology and hope to reconnect with my masculinity and what nature gave me. Keep up the good work 🙂
@@davidmicheletti6292 Males are always male, but not always masculine. I guess most of this new trend of "gender confusion" stems from the weird idea that you have to be one hundred percent feminine or masculine to not be trans or at least non-binary.
@@cordulam I think people have a misconception about how gender is formed and or developed during gestation. Mitosis is often seen as taking place only during the mating of the egg and sperm. That amazing act is not the only event that selects a persons gender. The full process will take up to six weeks and can result in child development that ambiguous at time. it is too far more complex than you would expect. This is a fact and way beyond a simple male or female presentation as you suggest. Examples are everywhere and cannot be refuted. Gender development can be seen as taking place in many layers of development and each twist and turn could present a very different outcome for the developing child. Forget the children born with XXY,XXX
Try to feel like you, reflect your feelings and what contributes to your identity perception. It might help to not constantly ask yourself if you feel masculine or feminine. Many don‘t feel easily ok with who they are, not always related to their sex but many do without thinking about transitioning. To a certain extent that insecurity is nothing unusual or pathologic. All the best for the process, the way to become ok with who you are. No need to feel very masculine. You ARE a man, that‘s enough to be a man and for others to accept you as a man:) People like authentic people, so it‘s enough to be you, to learn about who you are and what defines you as the person with your individual personality.
'Trans' reifies essentialism. 'Butch' girls and women are female. 'Camp' boys and men are male. Why should anyone be forced - or feel pressured - to conform to Victorian stereotypes? Some respectable Victorians maintained that a girl who read 'difficult' books would render herself sterile. I really thought we had moved beyond this. A lot of 'Trans' Ideology is homophobic. Biological entities, including humans, do not have a disembodied 'gender' floating free of the body. They have a sex, female or male, and within each of these categories there is a wide variety of personalities. Why go back to Victorian stereotypes and homophobia? It is msd.
Makes me think of my twin nieces. They’re in their late twenties and one is gay, a very masculine lesbian, was stationed in Germany in the Army, and was married to a woman, while the other one is such a girlie girl and has four beautiful children now, a stark contrast to her twin sister. Their older brother, my nephew, is gay also. I recently understand that my lesbian niece is now dating a biological man who is also in the army. She wants marriage and her own children now. She told my sister, her aunt, that she feels like she just matured emotionally and spiritually and has mellowed out and rejects the pressure put on her by our society. Her sister has mellowed out too. My nephew is still gay but no longer so flamboyant and angry at the world. I’m so proud of all of them, as they lost their mom, my younger sister, when they were only 3 and 4 years old.
Thanks for sharing your video. 60 year old crossdresser who has struggled with trans stuff for years. I’ve been on and off hormones a couple times this year. First two months and the second time one month. In reality it’s from a hard time dealing with reality. Really am more just a man in a dress. The world is different when away from this computer.
I'm a 37 yo woman, never questioned my gender or even really ever thought about it much, always loved male interests like rasslin, nascar, boxing and mma - I just wanna say I think what you and other detransitioners are doing is really brave. the world needs to hear yalls stories as well as the happy trans stories. we are all better off with more nuance in regards to stuff like this! much love from MD! 🦀🍻
Seven years on hormones. Five years since beginning the detransition. Josh, OK, looks like you are happy with your detransition and that is a good thing. Be, yourself - Yes, that is the key. I appreciate how non-judgmental you are - something I cannot say about a number of detransitioners I see on the Internet. Maybe you mention it in another video, but why did you decide to transition in the first place and why have you chosen to detransition? I am a MtoF trans person. I know I always wanted to be a girl and have a strong female identity. I feel I am happier and more connected now that I have decided to medically and socially to transition about a year ago. It is hard to say the least. Worrying about being clocked, having access to bathrooms, working on developing ways to pass, accepting yourself as you really are regardless of what you see in the mirror, having to decide next steps, the financial cost of it all, coming out to family and friends, thinking everyday about your gender and how your body does not match your mind. I would love to not think any more about my gender as you say you are doing. Maybe I will get there as my transition continues. However, I find it hard to imagine going back to the melancholic fog I was in as a man.
Hi Josh! Happy New Year! Thank you for sharing this with us. I, too, at some point was also considering transitioning, until maybe a year ago that I realized I am really just a gay person who embraces his femininity. It is scary how much this issue has been politicized and even pushed to young, innocent children. I will continue watching and hope you the best! xoxo!
I find your observations very interesting on transgender. I too have had to deal with gender dysphoria during my life but when I speak to other people who are transgender I come across so interesting. To be honest my story isn't at all like what others deal with. You see I have a intersex condition that started before my birth. During the earliest weeks of gestation when all embryo have what are basically fetal ovaries and structures sexual development of females. It is during these first six weeks of gestation that germs cells start moving alone the embryos midline and gradually gather at the gondas. This action causes the gonads to develop as ovaries or testis. in my case my right testis had a germ cell attached but failed to fuse to it.. It also failed to drop and was surgically brought down into the scrotum when I was ten years old. The left testis did develop as a testis but failed to fully grow to normal adult size. There are many reasons why this situation could have happened but the most common suggestion is I was exposed to EDC endocrine disruptor chemicals during my gestation.The cause really isn't Germain to my point. If I were any worse the doctors would have done a sex change on me because they didn't think I would preform well as a boy at the time. The truth is I did develop as a boy but and even did marry. Even more surprising is we managed to produce two children. It was very hard to do so but we did as I had to deal with phycological and body development issues. I really deep down deal with a form of gender dysphoria, well maybe not in the same way others deal with it but just as profound. My wife of over forty years has been very supportive and at age forty five help me survive at least stage three testicular- ovarian cancer as a result of this condition. In addition the attached germ cell grew to 10 cm and was malignant. If that were not enough I had a 17.5 cm mature germ cell teratoma removed in my upper abdomen at the Mayo Clinic. Two other locations of teratoma were found that were removed at the time the surgery was done when my undescended testis was brought down as a child. I was never told this as a child. This teratoma was left over from my gestation 45 years ago. During this time it grew into a fetus like structure. it had limbs, eyes, skin, bone and even some organs. If I lived in Texas I could have been sent to jail for an abortion, I guess. So yes I do understand fully what people have to deal with when it comes to gender dysphoria. The feelings are very real and profound. The effects are tangible. I have often though about starting hormones, even during my old age. Im taking care of my wife as she ages and she is supportive. My children also understand but in all Ive had 28 surgeries in my life with 6-7 of them related to my intersex body. OR maybe just maybe I'll try one more step and start hormones?. Don't beat yourself up for being transgender and walking away from transitioning. I find your honesty refreshing. Not every person needs surgery or transition to be who they need to be. We all walk paths that can converge in unexpected places.
Low-dose HRT is low in terms of risk and helped me resolve my lifelong gender issues in a way I don't think could have happened otherwise. I've been off for a year now and no ill effects, but the gender dysphoria is just gone now.
Im so glad that you have found away of dealing with gender dysphoria. Tell us how you think it resolved this. Did estrogen give you a window to your sexuality that you can express in words? Do you think estrogen gave you a little mental rest for you to physiologically put you dysphoria to rest? Very interesting and wonderful. @@Swenthorian
@@davidmicheletti6292 RUclips keeps silently deleting my reply :( I've also tried linking to a GitHub Gist with my reply, but RUclips silently deletes that, too.
I'm on the left, but considering detransitioning. Even if I do, trans people are still valid and people need to leave them alone. Because freedom is still a valid argument as to why someone should be themselves no matter what the right thinks what someone is or can never be.
I like listening to your thoughts. That you don't like the term cic-man. That term belongs to a whole context of thinking. I am a gender-nonconforming female. I didn't blossom into a pretty woman because I am kind of another Typ person. But I don't see myself in the context of the mainstream media point of view. People tell me that a person who is not on one of the two gender categories is called non binary. I should read Wikipedia. There's the definition. But I don't see myself in that context. I am who I am. There are people who are different im sex or in gender. gender variant. The exceptions prove the rule.
XX or XY .. if you notice physical anomalies, you might be intersex. this rainbow narrative has stripped humanity in exchange for labels. our reproductive organs are not our identity (as LGBTQIA+P like to sermonize) be YOU .. your flesh is Life don't destroy it! please! take care wonderful woman!!
@Emma Peel thank you for your kind comment. I don't know my chromosomes. But I guess I am not intersexed.because those people mostly have médicale issues with their sex. I have different problems. And I know the rainbow narrative. We live in a context where this is how we perceive the world. In our context, there are words like gay and its definition. And words like gender and its definition. But when I was seeking what was "wrong with me," 'cause all of my life people asked me if I was a man. Even when I was pregnant. When my lesbian friend asked me the same. And almost every lesbian I've met. I started to ask myself - am I a man? I needed 10 years until I found the answer. It was shocking to me. Yes, I am a man. It is hard to explain. Because we are socialized into strict two categories of people. Based on the body. But in my case, it was not in the context where all the words in our belief system are. For me, there are two contexts. 1 The first is our two sexes divided society. 2 The second context is the native American context. Which is incompatible with ours. I do no harm to my body. I am who I am inside. The native American count the inside of a person. Not the outward appearance. It's about the spirit.
@@Ed-lian .. we'll thank you for posting the correct explanation of Two Spirits. Rainbow Cult has used & abused it. they were expected to be productive members of the community, not treated like special unicorns with privileges above the rest. the chromosomes question is cuz we had a part of town that started with Intersex children & generation later became birth defects & cancer cluster. turns out there were chemicals dumped in area. Regardless of Natural or Environmental .. our consciousness is not our Flesh. no chemical can usurp our Spirit/Soul. i'm so glad to read your understanding of our body just IS. to put so much attention on it, to bind ourselves to the flesh & materials .. our Spirit will suffer & become handcuffed to earth. my goal is to leave 🙏🏼 God Bless You ! take care!
@@emmapeel8163 Thanks. It seems to me that you have understood quite a lot about the spirit world. That we should not cling to earthly things. It seems that you also have knowledge about the role of the Two-Spirits. That surprises me. Thank you for giving me strength with your words. I wish you well The Creator is with us.
@@haveagoodone2935 Exactly! You're just busy living. No-one thinks about gender except people that aren't comfortable with themselves for whatever reasons (and the kids that have been indoctrinated via the education system and social media to make gender their God!)
It's most likely I was misdiagnosed with gender dysphoria. It's been many years. Transitioning only gave me a desire to look even more feminine. So it would've been a never ending uphill battle. No matter how long I transitioned I would never look feminine enough. At the end of the day it didn't make sense to modify my body to feel good about myself. Many years later of prayer, eating right, going to the gym, and gigging as a musician and I'm more comfortable in my skin than I ever was before transitioning. Practicing semen retention has also reset my brain so it was most likely a case of autogynephilia. Faith and trust in God is really what helped the most.
Come back, it’s not too late. I encourage you to. You know that now. Because it’s the intent of the heart that says, “This imitation I thought I wanted was never meant for me”. But man that awful in-between feeling is so real. Ex-trans here too.
@@Everettescottortiz I guess my fear is my expectations going backwards is how much of my potential is gone. Much like when I started to transition I was worried if it would work out. But now it's the opposite, I don't want to detransition if it means I won't look like a man again It really is hard because it's like this feeling of failing at being either
@@aliceslab you probably see me with my beard in my profile picture. People tell me they see me as masculine. I do too but even then it’s still not enough. As “women”, or what we thought we desperately wanted to be, it would’ve never been enough. Because our brains are the great deceivers. What we have in our head would never be matched by reality because it’s not something that could ever happen. That’s why transgenderism is such a lie. There’s something else wrong and it’s not being helped. But the truth is that we need to accept ourselves for how we are. How God made us even if the world has corrupted our minds, our bodies. We are perfect to Him and need to let Him make us even more perfect. Now one thing I want to encourage you on (because we all know God is real) is to ever think, “I’ve gone too far in this for Him to ever forgive me or accept me back. I’m ruined myself”. That’s a lie straight from hell. He’s the one who can make you whole. That’s what He did with me and I realized the only way to be the man I truly wanted to be was to serve Him with my whole heart and soul. And for the first time in my life I felt completely aligned with everything He had created me to be. So no matter how much I may think about the old sometimes, I already know better because He showed me. That’s when I know I need less of me and I ask for more of Jesus.
Thank you for this update. I‘ve probably watched every one of your detransition videos. I transitioned MTF in 2016 at 14 Years old. Really crazy to think that’s even legal, if I look back on it from the eyes of a 20 year old. I detransitioned in Summer of 2022 cancelled my 3 Year HRT Estradiol + Lupron ( Blockers )
I thankfully passed as a girl / woman so I don’t have any mental scarring more than it needed to be. I‘m thankfully 6 Foot 1 and I‘m just enough androgynous to now pass as a man. The little nubbin‘ breast slowly went away although there’s still a bit more to go. The "Girl‘s Butt" is still there but that’ll hopefully go away as time and exercise goes on. Testosterone production seems not to have been harmed at all. That is great news. Everything is slowly coming back and I‘ll finally go through puberty as I‘m supposed to.
Once I got out of my rut and went to school again, being the best student of my class and finally recognising my capabilities, something clicked inside me. I felt worth it. I reestablished contacts to my Dad and extended family. Made up with my Mom. And once I felt like I‘m more so at the top of society my depression slowly but surely went away. The only problem in my life was "The gender crisis" It was all suffocating. My life was perfect except the self made problem of gender confusion. I came to terms with my self. Told all of my family members I’m detransitioning, cut my hair, went to my endocrinologist to talk things out about hormones, fertility etc. I’m so glad I never had any sort of surgeries just like you. Jazz Jennings once was my role model. Now she’s just the experiment with a failed surgery and binge eating.
It’s too sad. Thank you for sharing your story. You’re one of the tipping points leading to my detransition. I just didn’t know where to start, especially because detransitioning is so looked down upon by the ABC Mafia. Escaping the lefts agenda and reorienting myself as Center-Right also helped in becoming the person I am today. The changes are quick. I’ll slowly start being an adult and use every resource I can gather. Thank you. And have a good one.
Sorry about the late reply. I wish you well. Glad my own story offered you some kind of insight.
Tbh I don’t think detransition is looked down upon by the ABC mafia. I run in a lot of LGBT circles, especially with a lot of trans friends, and if anything, they’re more vocal about supporting detransitioners than anyone else (I had never even known there was such a thing until one of my trans friends mentioned supporting detransitioners). I think that they only become wary of some because there seems to be a trend of detransitioners also becoming anti-trans, just because the process of transition didn’t work out for them. As you intimated, you find it crazy to think that medical transition is available to minors, indicating you’d support banning such medical care, which would be incredibly harmful to many trans people. It would be like trying to ban antidepressants to minors with depression simply because you had bad side effects from one of said medications.
I think alot of trans people also resent the implication that being trans is in any way political. For you, it seems that you viewed being trans as a symptom of your political leanings (going from left to centre right, in your own words). Many, if not most trans people I’ve ever met knew they were trans and experienced gender dysphoria long before they knew anything about politics (most cases of gender dysphoria present in childhood), and many more before being trans became politicized.
I really struggle to understand this. Having gone through this journey, do you have any understanding of what started this whole process? I'm glad you found your place ❤
The moment you say shit like left's agenda and ABC mafia shows you probably are lying your ass off, or if not, still just unaware of the real world.
I found this to be another very interesting video, and it was nice to hear your experience after all this time. I have been MTF trans for three years, but zero medical transition, and have not came out. Recently I have been doubting the validity of me feeling intrinsically feminine yet having a male biological body, and my sporadic doubts are now reaching fever pitch. I don't really feel very manly, but I can accept my biology and hope to reconnect with my masculinity and what nature gave me. Keep up the good work 🙂
I understand, just realizing males are not always male.
@@davidmicheletti6292 Males are always male, but not always masculine. I guess most of this new trend of "gender confusion" stems from the weird idea that you have to be one hundred percent feminine or masculine to not be trans or at least non-binary.
@@cordulam I think people have a misconception about how gender is formed and or developed during gestation. Mitosis is often seen as taking place only during the mating of the egg and sperm. That amazing act is not the only event that selects a persons gender. The full process will take up to six weeks and can result in child development that ambiguous at time. it is too far more complex than you would expect. This is a fact and way beyond a simple male or female presentation as you suggest. Examples are everywhere and cannot be refuted. Gender development can be seen as taking place in many layers of development and each twist and turn could present a very different outcome for the developing child. Forget the children born with XXY,XXX
Try to feel like you, reflect your feelings and what contributes to your identity perception. It might help to not constantly ask yourself if you feel masculine or feminine. Many don‘t feel easily ok with who they are, not always related to their sex but many do without thinking about transitioning. To a certain extent that insecurity is nothing unusual or pathologic.
All the best for the process, the way to become ok with who you are. No need to feel very masculine. You ARE a man, that‘s enough to be a man and for others to accept you as a man:) People like authentic people, so it‘s enough to be you, to learn about who you are and what defines you as the person with your individual personality.
'Trans' reifies essentialism. 'Butch' girls and women are female. 'Camp' boys and men are male. Why should anyone be forced - or feel pressured - to conform to Victorian stereotypes? Some respectable Victorians maintained that a girl who read 'difficult' books would render herself sterile. I really thought we had moved beyond this. A lot of 'Trans' Ideology is homophobic. Biological entities, including humans, do not have a disembodied 'gender' floating free of the body. They have a sex, female or male, and within each of these categories there is a wide variety of personalities. Why go back to Victorian stereotypes and homophobia? It is msd.
Thank you so much for sharing such a personal experience, I appreciate you stepping up like this! Knowledge is power! 😻✌️
Makes me think of my twin nieces. They’re in their late twenties and one is gay, a very masculine lesbian, was stationed in Germany in the Army, and was married to a woman, while the other one is such a girlie girl and has four beautiful children now, a stark contrast to her twin sister. Their older brother, my nephew, is gay also. I recently understand that my lesbian niece is now dating a biological man who is also in the army. She wants marriage and her own children now. She told my sister, her aunt, that she feels like she just matured emotionally and spiritually and has mellowed out and rejects the pressure put on her by our society. Her sister has mellowed out too. My nephew is still gay but no longer so flamboyant and angry at the world. I’m so proud of all of them, as they lost their mom, my younger sister, when they were only 3 and 4 years old.
So good that you didn’t get any surgeries. You look good. ❤
Thanks for sharing your video. 60 year old crossdresser who has struggled with trans stuff for years. I’ve been on and off hormones a couple times this year. First two months and the second time one month. In reality it’s from a hard time dealing with reality. Really am more just a man in a dress. The world is different when away from this computer.
Love your honesty. It's so refreshing. Life is very different when away from a computer! Lol....😂 You are so right!
Great commentary as always bro. I definitely think it was Jesus/God who pulled you out of that lifestyle. Happy New year to you and your family
I'm a 37 yo woman, never questioned my gender or even really ever thought about it much, always loved male interests like rasslin, nascar, boxing and mma - I just wanna say I think what you and other detransitioners are doing is really brave. the world needs to hear yalls stories as well as the happy trans stories. we are all better off with more nuance in regards to stuff like this! much love from MD! 🦀🍻
You’re amazing. I really love your insight
Seven years on hormones. Five years since beginning the detransition. Josh, OK, looks like you are happy with your detransition and that is a good thing. Be, yourself - Yes, that is the key. I appreciate how non-judgmental you are - something I cannot say about a number of detransitioners I see on the Internet.
Maybe you mention it in another video, but why did you decide to transition in the first place and why have you chosen to detransition? I am a MtoF trans person. I know I always wanted to be a girl and have a strong female identity. I feel I am happier and more connected now that I have decided to medically and socially to transition about a year ago. It is hard to say the least. Worrying about being clocked, having access to bathrooms, working on developing ways to pass, accepting yourself as you really are regardless of what you see in the mirror, having to decide next steps, the financial cost of it all, coming out to family and friends, thinking everyday about your gender and how your body does not match your mind. I would love to not think any more about my gender as you say you are doing. Maybe I will get there as my transition continues. However, I find it hard to imagine going back to the melancholic fog I was in as a man.
Thank you for uploading this video
This!!❤❤❤ I’m currently considering detransitioning.. this video is VERY relatable! Thank you!
I'm glad I detransitioned because I was able to let go and just be myself.
@@haveagoodone2935 “and just be myself”… THANK YOU! ❤️❤️❤️
Hi Josh! Happy New Year! Thank you for sharing this with us. I, too, at some point was also considering transitioning, until maybe a year ago that I realized I am really just a gay person who embraces his femininity. It is scary how much this issue has been politicized and even pushed to young, innocent children. I will continue watching and hope you the best! xoxo!
I find your observations very interesting on transgender. I too have had to deal with gender dysphoria during my life but when I speak to other people who are transgender I come across so interesting. To be honest my story isn't at all like what others deal with. You see I have a intersex condition that started before my birth. During the earliest weeks of gestation when all embryo have what are basically fetal ovaries and structures sexual development of females. It is during these first six weeks of gestation that germs cells start moving alone the embryos midline and gradually gather at the gondas. This action causes the gonads to develop as ovaries or testis.
in my case my right testis had a germ cell attached but failed to fuse to it.. It also failed to drop and was surgically brought down into the scrotum when I was ten years old. The left testis did develop as a testis but failed to fully grow to normal adult size. There are many reasons why this situation could have happened but the most common suggestion is I was exposed to EDC endocrine disruptor chemicals during my gestation.The cause really isn't Germain to my point.
If I were any worse the doctors would have done a sex change on me because they didn't think I would preform well as a boy at the time. The truth is I did develop as a boy but and even did marry. Even more surprising is we managed to produce two children. It was very hard to do so but we did as I had to deal with phycological and body development issues. I really deep down deal with a form of gender dysphoria, well maybe not in the same way others deal with it but just as profound.
My wife of over forty years has been very supportive and at age forty five help me survive at least stage three testicular- ovarian cancer as a result of this condition.
In addition the attached germ cell grew to 10 cm and was malignant. If that were not enough I had a 17.5 cm mature germ cell teratoma removed in my upper abdomen at the Mayo Clinic. Two other locations of teratoma were found that were removed at the time the surgery was done when my undescended testis was brought down as a child. I was never told this as a child.
This teratoma was left over from my gestation 45 years ago. During this time it grew into a fetus like structure. it had limbs, eyes, skin, bone and even some organs. If I lived in Texas I could have been sent to jail for an abortion, I guess.
So yes I do understand fully what people have to deal with when it comes to gender dysphoria. The feelings are very real and profound. The effects are tangible.
I have often though about starting hormones, even during my old age. Im taking care of my wife as she ages and she is supportive. My children also understand but in all Ive had 28 surgeries in my life with 6-7 of them related to my intersex body. OR maybe just maybe I'll try one more step and start hormones?.
Don't beat yourself up for being transgender and walking away from transitioning. I find your honesty refreshing. Not every person needs surgery or transition to be who they need to be. We all walk paths that can converge in unexpected places.
Low-dose HRT is low in terms of risk and helped me resolve my lifelong gender issues in a way I don't think could have happened otherwise. I've been off for a year now and no ill effects, but the gender dysphoria is just gone now.
Im so glad that you have found away of dealing with gender dysphoria. Tell us how you think it resolved this. Did estrogen give you a window to your sexuality that you can express in words?
Do you think estrogen gave you a little mental rest for you to physiologically put you dysphoria to rest? Very interesting and wonderful.
@@Swenthorian
@@davidmicheletti6292 RUclips keeps silently deleting my reply :(
I've also tried linking to a GitHub Gist with my reply, but RUclips silently deletes that, too.
I had that happen to me along time ago but when I tried to message a day or so later it was able to get though.@@Swenthorian
@@Swenthorian any luck
Thank you for clarifying it's okay to go back and you can back if you choose hrt, without a weird extreme right wing bias
Right wing bias? 😑
I'm on the left, but considering detransitioning. Even if I do, trans people are still valid and people need to leave them alone.
Because freedom is still a valid argument as to why someone should be themselves no matter what the right thinks what someone is or can never be.
God bless you kiddo
I like listening to your thoughts.
That you don't like the term cic-man. That term belongs to a whole context of thinking.
I am a gender-nonconforming female.
I didn't blossom into a pretty woman because I am kind of another Typ person.
But I don't see myself in the context of the mainstream media point of view.
People tell me that a person who is not on one of the two gender categories is called non binary.
I should read Wikipedia. There's the definition.
But I don't see myself in that context.
I am who I am.
There are people who are different im sex or in gender.
gender variant.
The exceptions prove the rule.
XX or XY .. if you notice physical anomalies, you might be intersex.
this rainbow narrative has stripped humanity in exchange for labels.
our reproductive organs are not our identity (as LGBTQIA+P like to sermonize)
be YOU .. your flesh is Life
don't destroy it! please!
take care wonderful woman!!
@Emma Peel thank you for your kind comment.
I don't know my chromosomes.
But I guess I am not intersexed.because those people mostly have médicale issues with their sex.
I have different problems.
And I know the rainbow narrative. We live in a context where this is how we perceive the world.
In our context, there are words like gay and its definition.
And words like gender and its definition.
But when I was seeking what was "wrong with me,"
'cause all of my life people asked me if I was a man. Even when I was pregnant.
When my lesbian friend asked me the same. And almost every lesbian I've met.
I started to ask myself - am I a man?
I needed 10 years until I found the answer.
It was shocking to me.
Yes, I am a man.
It is hard to explain.
Because we are socialized into strict two categories of people.
Based on the body.
But in my case, it was not in the context where all the words in our belief system are.
For me, there are two contexts.
1 The first is our two sexes divided society.
2 The second context is the native American context.
Which is incompatible with ours.
I do no harm to my body.
I am who I am inside.
The native American count the inside of a person. Not the outward appearance.
It's about the spirit.
@@Ed-lian .. we'll thank you for posting the correct explanation of Two Spirits.
Rainbow Cult has used & abused it.
they were expected to be productive members of the community, not treated like special unicorns with privileges above the rest.
the chromosomes question is cuz we had a part of town that started with Intersex children & generation later became birth defects & cancer cluster.
turns out there were chemicals dumped in area.
Regardless of Natural or Environmental .. our consciousness is not our Flesh. no chemical can usurp our Spirit/Soul. i'm so glad to read your understanding of our body just IS. to put so much attention on it, to bind ourselves to the flesh & materials .. our Spirit will suffer & become handcuffed to earth.
my goal is to leave 🙏🏼
God Bless You !
take care!
@@emmapeel8163 Thanks. It seems to me that you have understood quite a lot about the spirit world. That we should not cling to earthly things. It seems that you also have knowledge about the role of the Two-Spirits. That surprises me. Thank you for giving me strength with your words. I wish you well The Creator is with us.
3:40 - do you find gender (your sex) an unimportant variable in your life (as you said) or not?
I don't think about it. State of nature
@@haveagoodone2935 Exactly! You're just busy living. No-one thinks about gender except people that aren't comfortable with themselves for whatever reasons (and the kids that have been indoctrinated via the education system and social media to make gender their God!)
How could you not have gender dysphoria after you detransitioned? Were the issues that led to transition resolved? Why did you originally transition?
It's most likely I was misdiagnosed with gender dysphoria. It's been many years. Transitioning only gave me a desire to look even more feminine. So it would've been a never ending uphill battle. No matter how long I transitioned I would never look feminine enough. At the end of the day it didn't make sense to modify my body to feel good about myself.
Many years later of prayer, eating right, going to the gym, and gigging as a musician and I'm more comfortable in my skin than I ever was before transitioning. Practicing semen retention has also reset my brain so it was most likely a case of autogynephilia.
Faith and trust in God is really what helped the most.
@@haveagoodone2935 Amen!🙏✝️
You think being a man means you gotta drink beer and drive a truck?
hes a macho man now. so yes
Are you sober in any video?
I'm sober in all my videos
Not everyone is genuinely trans. Authentic transsexuals with gender dysphoria are extremely rare and you aren't one of them.
That's why I'm a detransitioner
Yep rare, but we exist :P
@@PolyphiaGroupie Everyone says that, even 'non-binary' people.
@@NickyM_0 okay? whatever point you are trying to make with this
Interesting detransitioning storytime at one point I wanted to detransition back 🏳️⚧️
Come back, it’s not too late. I encourage you to. You know that now. Because it’s the intent of the heart that says, “This imitation I thought I wanted was never meant for me”. But man that awful in-between feeling is so real. Ex-trans here too.
@@Everettescottortiz I guess my fear is my expectations going backwards is how much of my potential is gone.
Much like when I started to transition I was worried if it would work out. But now it's the opposite, I don't want to detransition if it means I won't look like a man again
It really is hard because it's like this feeling of failing at being either
@@aliceslab you probably see me with my beard in my profile picture. People tell me they see me as masculine. I do too but even then it’s still not enough.
As “women”, or what we thought we desperately wanted to be, it would’ve never been enough. Because our brains are the great deceivers. What we have in our head would never be matched by reality because it’s not something that could ever happen. That’s why transgenderism is such a lie. There’s something else wrong and it’s not being helped. But the truth is that we need to accept ourselves for how we are. How God made us even if the world has corrupted our minds, our bodies. We are perfect to Him and need to let Him make us even more perfect.
Now one thing I want to encourage you on (because we all know God is real) is to ever think, “I’ve gone too far in this for Him to ever forgive me or accept me back. I’m ruined myself”. That’s a lie straight from hell. He’s the one who can make you whole. That’s what He did with me and I realized the only way to be the man I truly wanted to be was to serve Him with my whole heart and soul. And for the first time in my life I felt completely aligned with everything He had created me to be.
So no matter how much I may think about the old sometimes, I already know better because He showed me. That’s when I know I need less of me and I ask for more of Jesus.
|I think you should be open-minded enough to read other philosophies like Hinduism and Buddhism, Shamanism, etc. Don't get stuck on the Bible.
The Bible is very real to me. It is the living word of God almighty. I am a sinner redeemed by the blood of Jesus.
@@haveagoodone2935 You were not are a sinner.
@@evelyna_paula1747 sure I am. That why the word became flesh and dwelt among us. I wouldn't be a Christian if I didn't believe it was true.
@@evelyna_paula1747You’re a sinner too. We’re all sinners.
@@Everettescottortiz Absolutely. We are all sinners.
return to be a girl
I can't. I have XY chromosomes
@@haveagoodone2935 cheap excuses.
@@mateobarros It's called BIOLOGY. You should read up on it.
@@carlapierle8623 they guy will get alcoholic and then will return to estrogen like couple of years more... so obvious.
groomer