A Mother's Will To Build After Suicide - Aliza Bulow | Inspiration for the Nation - Episode 20

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  • Опубликовано: 7 сен 2024
  • Trigger Warning: We discuss suicide in this episode.
    988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline - Help is available.
    Aliza Bulow is the founder and director of Core, an organization that connects Jewish women and strengthens Jewish homes and communities. In addition, she travels regularly to offer guidance, leadership training and strategic planning for Jewish Outreach organizations and Jewish communities throughout the continent.
    Born to activist parents in the 1960’s, Aliza's community building began early as her upbringing was intensely impacted by her parents’ deep commitment to the civil rights movement. Her own activism took root during her early high school years in the fight for freedom for Soviet Jews. Her passion for Judaism and the Jewish people then took her to Israel where she studied for 2 years at Michlelet Bruria and Hebrew University.
    With a growing desire to build and contribute, Aliza explored various avenues to serve the State of Israel and finally chose to enlist in the Israeli Defense Forces from 1982-1984, during the first Lebanon war. She served in the Nachal Unit with a religious group that was dedicated to building communities in the Land of Israel.
    Though her dream was to stay in Israel, her soul mate was in law school in America. She married Ephraim Bulow after he graduated, and then they traveled to Russia to visit refusniks before setting up their own home in Long Beach, NY.
    We discuss: being a geyoris, working in the army, raising a child with autsim, life after her son's suicide, her marriage, starting Core and so much more.
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Комментарии • 83

  • @wchinganga
    @wchinganga Год назад +16

    Glad I came across this interview. My son passed away 3 months ago at the age of 18 but I got to know, after his grandma's passing, that he really didn't have much will to live. He, like Aliza's son, was very intelligent and older than his age and was very inquisitive from a young age. I've had friends recommend I go for bereavement counselling should I find myself struggling but I've felt that I don't think I'll benefit from it. I have recently had to accept that deep down I knew he wasn't gonna live for long but I was in denial. I totally get how she handled her son's passing. I have been praying to meet someone who understands me because the way I have been grieving isn't how people expected. Thank you for this interview

    • @nbaoldgirl
      @nbaoldgirl Месяц назад +2

      I pray you are doing ok today ❤

    • @rachelyeshurun
      @rachelyeshurun 11 дней назад +1

      May you build resilience and find joy wherever you can. My heart is with you, unfortunately I know what horror and pain you feel now. I found distraction to be the single most useful tool to deal with grief.

  • @rahelkirschenbaum6240
    @rahelkirschenbaum6240 2 года назад +28

    Wowow!!As a mother of many bh, a Bubby of many bh, I’ve never listened to such an incredible interview…..& yet……from a giyoret too!! Chazak Ubaruch to U Aliza for being so open, honest, tolerant&much more…May Hashem bentch U&your loved ones with much yiddisha nachat, health&arichut yamim!! Lchaim!!🥂🥂🥂🥂

  • @elanazvulon8201
    @elanazvulon8201 2 года назад +16

    Yaakov Langer, your podcasts are enlightening, compassionate, conducted humbly and so personable. For Aliza Bulow, I want to thank you for coming to speak and give of yourself. Yesterday was Tisha B'Av, I live in Israel and through the sirens on Shabbat and on Tisha B'Av, HaShem gifted me on Monday with watching your interview. Thank you both for shining your light !!

  • @susie5254
    @susie5254 2 года назад +18

    This is one of the best interviews I've heard in my life. Besides the excellent interviewing skills and sincerity, there is the validation of Aliza discussing challenges often treated as the elephant in the room so that the survivors suffer alone and sometimes even in shame. The emotional health, maturity, emuna and bitachon portrayed here are a blessed service to the community of people who have suffered alone. Bracha, hatzlacha and Yiddishe nachas to both of you. PS I also greatly appreciate you explaining why you would say, Gd bless America after visiting the "workers' paradise". I understand just how many Americans have no idea how good they have it and hopefully, that will not be the downfall of the great country that has helped humanity in ways so many do not appreciate (l'havdil similar to the Jews).

  • @l.s5067
    @l.s5067 2 года назад +11

    Just wow!! She is such an incredible woman!! So much to learn from!! May hashem continue giving her and her family strength and health!

  • @essiestrasberg1569
    @essiestrasberg1569 Год назад +11

    WOW! That is a true inspiration! After all she's been through, she's still so strong. wow. I wish I could meet her in person. Thank you so much Yaakov!

  • @georgealexander6530
    @georgealexander6530 2 года назад +11

    Mesmerized. Needed to keep pausing to digest and pinch myself….nice to know such people exist! Thank you Yaakov and Aliza for your raw honesty and encouragement

  • @alizasiegel2705
    @alizasiegel2705 11 дней назад +1

    I am from Long Beach. We moved here the summer the Bulow's moved to Denver. I never met them. Only heard of the amazing family. Now I understand. Thank you

  • @batsheva7819
    @batsheva7819 Год назад +2

    It's to your credit that he lived as long as he did. His נסיונות were there, your love and presence kept him going.

  • @daviimandel8265
    @daviimandel8265 2 года назад +9

    This interview was extraordinary. Wow! I, too, had tears streaming down my face while listening. What an amazing person Aliza is!

  • @annashmulevich8529
    @annashmulevich8529 Год назад +7

    Beautiful interview! Beautiful person! ! So much strength and face! Very inspiring and so much to learn from! Thank you!

  • @leighhershkovich868
    @leighhershkovich868 2 года назад +6

    Aliza, thank you! Your perspective and openness is refreshing and so raw.

  • @SH-yo6em
    @SH-yo6em 2 года назад +6

    I loved this episode so much. One of the few that I actually DIDN'T cry from because I found it so inspiring and hopeful. I love how real Mrs. Bulow is!! So incredible!

  • @chayiechinn9106
    @chayiechinn9106 2 года назад +7

    This was incredible. Aliza, you are one of a kind. It’s a privilege to know you!

  • @debbiewasyng6803
    @debbiewasyng6803 2 года назад +12

    She is so beautiful ,inside and out

  • @edenpapich5282
    @edenpapich5282 2 года назад +20

    Wow this was so deep and raw, I don't think I've ever heard such a perspective on a child struggling with suicide

  • @Mk-vd9qs
    @Mk-vd9qs Год назад +6

    Its fascinating how, as a convert to Judaism, she is so amazingly knowledgeable in every Jewish aspect that exists!

  • @rachelzelunka9018
    @rachelzelunka9018 2 года назад +10

    Most powerful video I've ever seen. Thank you Rebbetzin Bulow

  • @perrilab4222
    @perrilab4222 12 дней назад +1

    What an amazing incredible woman!!

  • @wholovesyababy5574
    @wholovesyababy5574 11 месяцев назад +4

    An incredible woman! Very inspired by this interview!

  • @UriLati
    @UriLati 2 года назад +7

    Wow. No words. Never judge anyone. Never

  • @sarahmiles449
    @sarahmiles449 2 года назад +5

    Another amazing episode! Transformative as usual. You have created something so special. Thank you

  • @Judys_Jewish_Music
    @Judys_Jewish_Music 2 года назад +5

    Thank You Yaakov for presenting & Thank you Aliza , for sharing SO Much of your story. 🙏🙏🙏 Yasher Koach on all you have accomplished & on your strength through it all. 💪🏻💪🏻💪🏻 G-d Bless with success in all of your endeavors. ‼️‼️‼️🙏🙏👍🏻👍🏻

  • @sgoldberg8384
    @sgoldberg8384 2 года назад +9

    Amazing woman with an amazing story

  • @rochellerothman891
    @rochellerothman891 Год назад +3

    Watched it on Tisha B'av
    Amazing woman! Such
    Confidence in her abilities to help.others! Wow! Terrific!

  • @layasaul28
    @layasaul28 Год назад +2

    Great interview. One of the best. Aliza is a phenomenal woman, thank you!! The little bit on Rosh Chodesh is inspiring, inspiring, inspiring. ... broken-whole-broken-whole until the ultimate wholeness.
    Amazing, of course!!

  • @fionashlakman1469
    @fionashlakman1469 2 года назад +7

    Totally related to so much of what Mrs Bulow said and even predicted her choice of Sarah.I grew up in a small town in S Africa,no rav or shul for much of my life and was called crazy for starting to become frum at age 11.As Orthodox educator, social worker and mom of 4 gorgeous adult kids in Israel, find myself totally in AWE of Mrs Bulow and everything she shared.
    THANK YOU SOOO MUCH.Your wisdom, insight,honesty and and and is inspiring and moving.Toda.

  • @user-pj4qr5gt7j
    @user-pj4qr5gt7j 2 года назад +2

    בס"ד
    עליזה - אני קוראת לך הרבנית עליזה - את האשה הכי מדהימה שאי פעם שמעתי!!!!
    I wanted to say that in Hebrew, but be sure Im American living in Israel for almost four decades and understand English well, and .I want to say that in English as well
    I never heard such a bright, intelligent, so full of emunah, active and extraordinary personality!!!!
    Wow! what life experience that you are sharing with everyone
    the way you dealt and deal with all this,
    and most of all - what
    you are accomplishing in the frum world!
    Your contagous love for Hashem and the
    Torah:
    You are an amazing women with a great Neshomeh!!

  • @julieschechter3995
    @julieschechter3995 2 года назад +3

    WOW! I am hanging onto every word this woman says.

  • @sshhlisten
    @sshhlisten 10 дней назад

    Regarding suicide...the truth is that at some point, every person will have to accept and come to terms with the fact that life is nothing like what we would wish for...either we truly make peace with that fact, or we will continue to ache and mourn for what we wish life actually would be like...life requires us to not worry excessively about the future and to enjoy as much in the present moment as we can and to count our blessings ...life can be meaningless unless we find a way to create meaningfulness....but then again no one can guarantee that death is an escape...even in death we cannot get away from our feelings and thoughts ...we cant escape from ourselves...death leaves us all the more alone with our thoughts feelings regrets and without the ability to fix things or act...in death, the only things we lose are our bodies, our choices and abilities...if physical pain is the cause of our anguish, maybe death can dissolve our pain, but if emotional pain is the cause of our anguish, death would only lock us up with our pain...we would still have to find a way to come to terms with our feelings and thoughts...and possibly start all over again
    In life we must be our own best friends and our own cheerleaders...think of the future you want and make it happen one step at a time...in life we always will have to adjust because life has its own plan...just keep moving forward and dont forget that the world is full of people just like you...reach out and others will be there for you along the way

  • @user-fl1um9gk9m
    @user-fl1um9gk9m Год назад +3

    Incredible! What an amazing person ❤ Hashem should answer all your tefillos

  • @zookeeper510
    @zookeeper510 Год назад

    One of the best conversations I've heard in a long time! Also, Mrs. Bulow quoted a somewhat famous teaching of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov zya; "Viha'ikur lo lifacheid klal!" However, this is a misquote and Rebbe Nachman's actual words are more compelling: "Viha'ikur lo liHisfachied klal!" After listening to her life's journey on this podcast as well as snippets in others, it's clear that Mrs. Bulow is living the directive of Rebbe Nachman.

  • @philkaluszyner7728
    @philkaluszyner7728 Год назад +4

    Wow!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is an understatement.

  • @lisakingsley6515
    @lisakingsley6515 Год назад +1

    We are such a warm community.

  • @d.rothenberg8295
    @d.rothenberg8295 2 года назад +2

    Am speechless and fullof wonder at נפלאות הבורא...
    כתיבה וחתימה טובה💫

  • @mosytube
    @mosytube 2 года назад +5

    Incredible

  • @susiebenzaquen2336
    @susiebenzaquen2336 2 года назад +5

    Wow, just wow.

  • @sandrai3599
    @sandrai3599 2 года назад +5

    Wow, wow unbelievable! Aliza, keep up your great work. Your an inspiration to us all. Yakov, thank you for presenting us with such a holy person.

  • @lisakingsley6515
    @lisakingsley6515 Год назад +2

    So inspiring

  • @raquelkirszenbaum926
    @raquelkirszenbaum926 2 года назад +4

    this was really special! such resilience! she is the definition of simcha, living with g.d and accepting life as it is ! thank you!
    also how can someone contact Yaakov Langer?

    • @renakohengadol2326
      @renakohengadol2326 Год назад +2

      Ahh! !Raquel!? I love your classes! I want to get in touch with you

  • @user-oz4hw2cd1l
    @user-oz4hw2cd1l Год назад +2

    I have written a few articles about Aliza. You still haven't heard it all. She is truly amazing. I am in the process of writing a book about another georis who came from an idolatry religion. Be in touch if you would like to interview her.

    • @LivingLchaim
      @LivingLchaim  Год назад +1

      Wow. Omg. Yes! Please email us hi@LivingLchaim.com

  • @susiekellman8866
    @susiekellman8866 Год назад +1

    Rabbi donen was my parents masader kadushin... so cool to hear this

  • @devorahberlin7509
    @devorahberlin7509 Месяц назад

    Her acceptance gives me so much chizuk!

  • @ttee6990
    @ttee6990 5 месяцев назад

    Wow!,! Inspiring! Special woman! Never gives up! Strong !

  • @merrynhopkins1162
    @merrynhopkins1162 Год назад +2

    Fantastic interview !!!!

  • @deborahgreenberg-addi3777
    @deborahgreenberg-addi3777 Год назад +3

    Beyond awesome

  • @sulamit50s.l70
    @sulamit50s.l70 29 дней назад

    Wow! Wow! This was the most amazing interview and the most amazing woman

  • @honeyagave
    @honeyagave 2 года назад +4

    I truly enjoyed your intellect Aliza. It is so tragic that a side effect of anti depressants is suicide. I was wondering if he was on them as soon as you brought him up. May we be a drug free world and not have these horrible side effects.

    • @julikristof7949
      @julikristof7949 Год назад

      Please don't spread untruths about medicine and medications. You might harm people.

    • @Anotherhumanexisting
      @Anotherhumanexisting 17 дней назад

      @honeyagave Exactly.
      Antidepressants don’t treat autism. They don’t treat bipolar. They don’t treat trauma or attachment issues. They don’t even effectively treat depression when compared in double blind studies to placebo or yoga practice…
      They do cause horrible withdrawals when tapered off. And they do make billions of dollars for corporations, that’s why they keep coming out with new ones, and pushing them for other disorders.
      Their mechanism of action is not even understood. I’ve lost years of my life being traumatized by various antidepressants instead of getting the help I needed as far as therapy, community and medications that are safe and well understood to actually improve my symptoms (although to have yet to find anything close to a “cure” or “normal”).
      IMO depression and anxiety are symptoms (like a fever or cough) there’s almost always some underlying cause. Sometimes just simply that modern life is so different than how the human body and brain evolved, we are under constant stress just existing. Can’t just meditate that away.
      I’m probably that child she talks about who eventually will die by suicide… I wish my parents were able to accept that as well.
      Messing with brain chemistry is very risky when science doesn’t even understand these medications’ mechanisms. But there is financial incentive so it keeps happening to people just looking for help…

  • @zevbob2938
    @zevbob2938 Год назад +2

    She is so inspiring I wish that my family could be. Connected as she is with her husband because I am FFB I had my ups and down but the women are to rigid to forgive and accept
    Because there is so many
    Ffb that have no connection with their wives
    It's all a act we need to teach women to be more
    Flexible and supportive to their husband's even if it's a challenge.

  • @BenSkyLakewood
    @BenSkyLakewood 2 года назад +5

    Wow so Amazing Yakov

  • @Tzipporah36
    @Tzipporah36 Год назад +1

    Thank you

  • @mooshi8813
    @mooshi8813 Год назад +1

    Wow what a fantastic and inspiration

  • @abrahamgluck
    @abrahamgluck 2 года назад +3

    Thanks!

  • @Milanayakubova-gz9nq
    @Milanayakubova-gz9nq 5 месяцев назад

    Great podcast! Keep up a good work! You asked to suggest a person to interview… I would suggest Rebezin Tehila Yeyger that Aliza actually mentioned in this interview. I also know her personally, she’s a great role model and has an interesting life experiences that we all can learn from.

  • @sshhlisten
    @sshhlisten 10 дней назад

    For anyone struggling with depression:
    If you are open to a holistic approach, you can try eating golden flax meal...flax seeds are so tiny that if they are eaten without grinding them, they will be excreted whole, without being digested. Hence the need to eat the flax meal instead. Golden flax meal is of higher quality than the brown version. It goes well with yogurt, salad, milk, or anything...i just mix it with water and make a cereal...if i want immediate results i eat half of a cup or a cup of flax meal...it contains omega oils which are essential for brain function and since i dont like the aftertaste of fish oil capsules, i stick with golden flax meal...it makes a big difference...i keep it in the ref or freezer for freshness...since you are struggling right now, you should probably start with a mega-dose - at least a cupful or two for a day or two or three...then you can just go down to a quarter to a half cup or a few tablespoons per day...Bob's Red Mill is an excellent brand which is available at local health food stores and online...also exercise is an amazing way to get those feel good hormones flowing and will wonders and magic as well
    Also if you have an undefined root chakra, it would mean that you ground yourself through external elements and the world around you such as relationships with others, nature - sunshine air walks in nature etc. And on rainy days when there is a severe decrease in sunlight and the air is wet, the ground is muddy etc. try making a mindful effort to give yourself alternative elements of comfort to help you stay grounded - a hot shower, a warm fuzzy blanket, hot soup and tea, snuggling with a furry animal friend, music, dancing, books, exercise, or whatever brings you comfort and lights you up...maybe you would enjoy baking yourself some pizza etc

  • @chayafasten5266
    @chayafasten5266 2 года назад +2

    Wow! The CORE program sounds amazing! In my chasidus the women have such groups for many years already and it is vital!!!

  • @zimrashlezinger9819
    @zimrashlezinger9819 2 года назад +5

    superb. powerful. thank you so much....

  • @glendagai
    @glendagai 2 года назад +3

    Such heart ache. Just a little feedback. I am not Jewish. So many words I did not know what they mean .

    • @element2138
      @element2138 7 месяцев назад

      She was also non Jewish. She converted.

    • @batshevajengoldman6260
      @batshevajengoldman6260 12 дней назад

      @@element2138I think the commenter was requesting some translations of words used in the podcast.

    • @element2138
      @element2138 12 дней назад

      @@batshevajengoldman6260
      Yes, I guess so.

  • @griffinlewis4148
    @griffinlewis4148 2 года назад +5

    Love 💝 love you ❤️💞😘

  • @lisakingsley6515
    @lisakingsley6515 Год назад

    Same as Norfolk VA.💗💗💗💗💗💗💗

  • @chayafasten5266
    @chayafasten5266 2 года назад +2

    Shoutout to Faiga Leah Landau 🎉🎉🎉🎉

  • @Tali5899
    @Tali5899 2 года назад

    Sorry if I sound dumb as I can imagine this sounds,particularly in the face of such courage,positivity and...just Greatness! But...What was the thing causing Doniel Moshe the 'life of pain',as he said it,or was it a combination...?

    • @morahaliza
      @morahaliza 2 года назад +1

      No specific big "trauma", just Inner brain chemistry and wiring and then everything that follows that...

  • @lisakingsley6515
    @lisakingsley6515 Год назад

    I definitely know an amazing Rebbetzin for this

  • @susie5254
    @susie5254 2 года назад

    Please interview Chana Mason!

  • @BlessLEWIS-vz7np
    @BlessLEWIS-vz7np Год назад +3

    Love❤😅

  • @surikatz123
    @surikatz123 Год назад

    men get together in shul. women too need a place. in many communities, women get together for shiurim.

  • @shomeresdevorahbayer9763
    @shomeresdevorahbayer9763 2 года назад

    Who is the Rabbi behind her CORE program

  • @raizisteinberg367
    @raizisteinberg367 Год назад +2

    what about living in israel ? that is a good choice too :)

  • @bsimcha690
    @bsimcha690 Год назад +1

    עם ישראל חי