5 Reasons You're Struggling to Heal After Being Cheated On
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- Опубликовано: 11 сен 2024
- We all reach a point after we've been cheated on where we desperately want to feel better and yet healing feels impossible. Once I became aware of - and addressed - these five things that were holding me back, I was finally able to make progress towards healing. I hope that they can help you too.
I do need to let go of the details. It truly hurts, my heart is so empty.
This was great, been searching for "marriage recovery from affair" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (search on google ) ? Ive heard some super things about it and my mate got cool results with it.
Many thanks, I been tryin to find out about "relationships after affairs" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you ever come across - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (do a search on google ) ? Ive heard some interesting things about it and my buddy got excellent success with it.
how are you feeling 5 months later?
This is just superb, I've been looking for "stages of infidelity recovery" for a while now, and I think this has helped. Have you heard people talk about - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (should be on google have a look ) ? Ive heard some interesting things about it and my cousin got amazing success with it.
This was great, thanks, I've been looking for "recovering marriage after affair" for a while now, and I think this has helped. You ever tried - Qenamilla Strayer Magnet - (just google it ) ? Ive heard some interesting things about it and my neighbour got amazing results with it.
Made me cry so much hearing you say sorry. He was never sorry, he did what he wanted to do regardless of me and our family. He was only sorry I found out.
About 3 years later and it still hurts so much loyalty shouldn't be a privilege it should be normal
It’s the stonewalling when you catch them lying. All you want is answers yet the just block and ignore and then pretend you don’t exist in there new life together
100%. This is the worst part. Being discarded without a final conversation about why.
I'm currently going through this with my ex husband. He cheated and now he's ignoring me and has as little to do with my as possible. He told me "he has nothing to say to me apart from when we need to discuss the kids" it hurts so much. He wasn't just my husband, he was my best friend too.
@@ctcrunch2 wow I’m legit going through this right now, discarded been lied to for 6 years and he just doesn’t care. It’s like wow how
Damn, it really hurts, specially when you recall those special moments you had with that person and then wonder if it was real. But truly time heals, some poeple take much more time than others but eventually you will heal. In the words of Homer Simpson: "someone loved you and that means someone can love you again".
So true ....4 months ago my bf broke up with me stating he was tired of me ...but after some 3 months i got to known he was cheating on me he was with his bff n was cheating for around 8-9 months in 15 months relationship ....all those months are like a bad dream n i cry everyday
It all just hurts.💔 i feel your psin
We need to be kind to ourselves rite now nd surround ourselves with ppl that love us . Sendin love to all of ye ppl dat r hurting ❤
I been played for 11 months and didn’t mean nothing I’m definitely hurt
@@introvertedways6976 sendin you a viral hug. New year. New you. Keep strong
Thank you so much for this. The constant question for me is always “why?” Or “Why did he do this to me?” And I tried to find comfort in the details but the details or searching for them only hurt me more.
"It doesn't matter whether you leave or you stay, you still need to do the work!"--- OMG
Yes!!!! The work must be done. You can't stay in that mind frame by keep blaming the other person. It's your responsibility to heal!!!! If you stay DO THE WORK!!! If you don't DO THE WORK!!!
Just found out my partner cheated...although we had been having issues I never thought he would do this...I'm literally dying inside....He's remorseful, He's ashamed, but it's not enough...
This is me today
And me today! Found out on 23rd anniversary trip to PR only two weeks ago. 😢
I have just found out that he is cheating and it hurts 😔 💔 so bad
I got those unnecessary details in my head and Now I’m insecure
My boyfriend of 8 years cheated on me 2 months ago and I still can’t sleep and feel paranoid 😭 I want to move on but why do I keep feeling like this. I have adrenaline and I feel sick to my stomach when I think he’s cheating again.
It is because u did not expect it is a hard thing and what makes it worst it seems to us there is no remorse in their actions no regrets a d do the sorry feel genuine
The problem is there is no such thing of falling out of love u .ca not say you love someone than later it changes love don't work like that other you do love them but your needs change or you were inlove with what the person did for you when they stop you took it to some one els outside of your relationship and I think the right thing to do is talk communications Is the key always talk and lastly I find out that they cheat cause they Insecure with their self it is nothing to do with you
My bf of 6 years and 3 months cheated on me and that broke me I am stil recovering
Sometimes love is not enough you deserve respect and loyalty
My boyfriend of 9 years cheated and I feel sick too 😢
Omg spot on about the knowing who the person is because it’s like a mini movie playing over and over in my head staring the both of them and I can’t find the remote and the power button is broken on the tv 😩
Unplug it.
I’ve been struggling now for 2 1/2 years. He doesn’t feel like he cheated. But we have different views on what “cheating” is. And because of that, I’ve never received validation. And because of that, I’ve never been able to heal. Thank you. For making me feel.... validated. I just wanted how I felt to be acknowledged. And that’s something he could never do. I’ve listened to this and cried 3 times in a row. Thank you. So much for this.
Mine "hoped" the text message of "it's over" meant when she took the bag she packed earlier before work to meet him and start a new life and the relationship that led up to it never happened and she didn't cheat 😅😂🙄 to put it bluntly she was a coke ho for about 18 yrs. Severe emotional damage. I watched the light drain out her eyes when she lied. She really hurt herself. A few days later coke ho was dead inside, cold and moved out. We never spoke a word about any of it. The speed use while this was happening. The lack of sleep. The trauma of doing it again and poof. She was a different person. Well personality wise, made up a reason to hate me and I bet close to being married to prove to herself everyone wants her. Sadly she was the last in a long line of just horrible women I choose. Life is so peaceful. I miss her. I love her. I couldn't take her back for any reason but would love to know she is safe. But then again, as I am a cancer patient from HPV the thought she could/did try to endanger my life possibly giving me a death sentence too. It is what it is..
It’s harder when you fights against your thoughts feel and emotions and instincts and try to give them the benefit of the doubt… it’s harder when your searching for the pie but only find crumbs that can’t even connect… you start to think are you that toxic? That’s damaged? Are your that paranoid and insecure that you try to find evidence where there isn’t??? Are your that much damaged and traumatized!!!… it gets to a point you don’t know what to believe what to trust… I’m you? Or in them? Are you freaking out? Or are they actually hiding something!?…. This is the worst torture for introverted, insecure, low self esteem, over thinker people… because we don’t wana feel low and like a victim, we don’t want them to feel bad and judge and discriminated and put down but we don’t wana be the fools… we don’t wana be the crazy ones we don’t wana be the easy manipulated or the toxic controlling damages ones…. Help!!! Is all we can feel… cry for help!!
It’s like you’re inside my brain… 🥺
My heart is so broken.
Thank you so so much for this. I break down the moment i hear you say sorry. It feels like someone finally truly understand how bad I'm hurting. Thank you..
💙
I can’t let go of the hate I feel.
Going through this..my husband cheated when i was pregnant and when i was going through postpartum depression. Just found out during quarantine when my instinct told me to check his whatsapp messages....He had two affairs and i got al the information from these two women...am so hurt i felt like doing something that would tarnish these girls names. But it wasn't worth it..... He apologized and asked we work on this for the sake of our daughter...i forgave him but can't look at him the same. I keep asking questions which just takes us back. A part of me wants to leave the other wants to try make it work😭
My heart goes out to you .....my husband cheated on me a month ago ...I found confirmation of accommodations just outside our town on his laptop ...he lied and said I’d never do that ... so I called hotel and got them to send me the receipt sure enough they did ...got the day and everything then he said he got it for his friend ....I kept at him he finally told me the truth .... thank god we have intuition that guides us to find out these things ....I’m now separated and moving on ....intuition is the universe guiding us from harms way ✨✨✨✨never ignore your intuition ❤️❤️❤️god knows what’s best for us .... sending love and strength your way ✨✨✨💫💫💫❤️❤️❤️
I’m so sorry
You are beautiful and loved
I'm sorry you went through that. Why do men take that moment of joy from you. Not exceptible. How did you get in his what's app...
Mý husband will never show me his what's app ...he gets so deffensive . His cellvis gluedvto his hand. The screen changes whenvi look. He wants to see mine. I see his location and lies ...why will he not admit it. Why is he scared. No
Thank you so much. This has truly helped my soul. I'm 6 days in after being cheated on and I'm also still with this girl and I am trying to stay calm and hold back, but its so unbelievably hard. I wanna just yell at her and let it all out, but at the same time I haven't because i know it's just going to get us no where. I needed to search up a video because I really can not do this on my own, I need help. I am truly in love with this girl. I've never felt this feeling of love with any other girl ever, which is why this has hurt me even more. I told her that "I love you with all my heart but at the same time I hate you with such a passion that they off set each other and I just don't know what to feel about you." Which is all true I genuinely don't know to feel about her. I don't want to have her just sink for what she did, even though that's what she's making me do at this time, I wouldn't wish this pain and this hurt upon anyone ever. I don't want to leave her but I also do. I told her that "I feel like as a relationship we will make it past this, but I'm never going to forget this for entire life and for me I might never get past this for a very long time or ever." I just want her to know that I do love her and I don't think that anything she does I will never loose my complete love for her. She will always have a special place in my heart, but she knows my past and knows how other people have treated me before her and even not in relationships just in general she know how I've really struggle in my life time. I mean when we first met I was an alcoholic, a drug addict, suicidal, and hurting harming my self. She knows that that's how my life was and that I've told her how much she really saved my life because to be honest with out her I don't know if I'd still be here writing all this to people who have no idea who I am. I'm sorry I went on a rant I know that none of you know who I am. I just got carried away in my own thoughts while typing. I hope everyone heals through this patch as I am trying as well. Thank you.
You deserve fidelity not infidelity. I pray that you are able to find that. Pray to God for help and require the best from life 🙏.
I see all these comments from people who have been cheated on, but still stay in the relationship…… if you stay , then clearly the cheating wasn’t that serious of an offense… and that’s fine, but if you stay, then you have to be able to accept that you are willing to tolerate this kind of behavior and risk it happening again…..
Staying is a joke, rarely do couples make it work. Get out and rebuild your life, they don't care about you. When they cheat they have already checked out. The marriage is over in most cases. Those that do make it work...most of the time the relationship has been good. Like I said, most will eventually breakup or you will live in misery.
I just found out tonight and I'm just grasping at straws. Thank you so much
My wife jumped in the back seat of her lovers car and expects me to believe they had no sex!!! After months of lies and half truths!!! Who the hell would believe that. Anyone looking for an honest man let me know!
I could listen to her speak to my heart all day long, Thank you for this advise.
What I can say is that all the persons here ended up on this video because you have been betrayed by someone you love and you are seeking out ways to help in this time. You feel helpless and defeated. All of these emotions described here is absolutely true. Sis or bro, this was not about you. My husband and I had to sit down and have a safe conversation without fighting or shouting. Listen to them and have them listen to you. Start walking in each other's shoes to understand what the other person's experience in this relationship is.
I promise you that healing begins when we start accepting what has happened and moving on mentality and emotionally They cannot help us, or aid us all the time we have to do it ourselves and that's ok... this is life, and life is going to happen to us, learn to pick up the pieces and say YOU NO LONGER WILL TAKE MY POWER AND CHANCE OF HAPPINESS. EVEN IF YOU STAYED AS I DID!! LETS ALL MOVE ON TOGETHER.
👌
Even if a cheating partner apologizes in sincerity, the others pain doesn't go away. So wanting an apology accomplishes nothing.
I finally had my first real relationship and we were together for a year. I fell in love very hard and incredibly deeply. She cheated and I just don't know what to do. Please, I just wanna be okay again.
Sorry 😔 It truly sucks. I'm 8 months since I found out my wife cheated. How are you holding up?
@@ichoozjc It definitely got easier, life went on, met amazing people and loving the job I'm doing right now. I still miss her on most days and some days I really feel it, but I haven't cried about it for a while. I'm honestly not sure if I don't care anymore or I'm just numb to it. I miss her but I can't wait to see whoever I end up with because I always tell myself, if I wasn't meant to be with this amazing person then imagine HOW amazing the person you're meant to be with actually will be. I can't wait to meet her. And I promise you're gonna feel better Chris. I know it's not easy. But we all can do it.
@@utsavmapuskar569 Well, you developed a great attitude I think, good for you! I'm sure someone will realize how lucky they are to have you and not betray you. At least you were young when it happened and now you know how difficult relationships/humans can be. They can be so cruel.
And thanks for the encouragement, I needed to hear it. My situation is a bit messier, 16 years and 3 kids. I'm not even sure I want it to work out but I'm too scared I guess to move on. So for now I'm staying with her until I can decide what I really want. I need to heal from the shame and embarrassment of it all first I guess. Then Iight find the courage to do what I know I need to do.
Good advice. Sorry for all the people going through this. Sadly we are not alone and it is way more common then it should be.
I haven't ate in days. I'm sick thinking about it. Everything so far is spot on and it's really comforting to listen to this. I really don't wanna hear a bunch of I told you so"s. So thank you. It helps
Just recently got cheated on. Never thought I’d be the one to get cheated on. These are helping thank you so much
Thats how it starts. Thinking it'd never happen to them
Eh. Women cheat at a rate of 70-80% men less than 40. A woman is never yours. It is only your turn.
Just had this happen to me.... What's crazy is they literally wanted to still have a relationship with me even while they were cheating on me.
Right! What the heck is wrong with them. This’s exactly what happened to me. He wanted both of us at the same time even after he was found out.
My husband had a girlfriend for 4 months this year. Suddenly he was polyamorous without ever having a conversation or talking about the girl he was in love with. He did manage to writhe and sob in bed next to me when he thought she was dumping him though. 🙄
I'm trying not to obsess over details, i just want to be able to tell my mind that is was just sex. He says it was just an escape and that he doesn't care for her. I want to believe him but how do you believe a liar? I'm going to make a serious effort NOT to ask anymore questions about her, she's such a non fucking factor, the universe and karma will deal with her because she knew he was married.
It is never the lady's fault. What if he told her you guys were separating and the person you had connection with was your husband not the lady. He is the one that broke your trust. Life is a once of thing don't live it miserably in the name of Love. You deserve happiness ❤
He cheated with her for 4 years ,I asked all the questions after i left him, but its still hard just thinking that someone else can do this again.Im really trying to move on.he said he did it because he became greedy and normalised something that was abnormal.its very hard to heal from this.
I was also in your situation and I understand how you feel 😭😭 I know you feel like you can never trust anyone. I know you feel like you cannot move on from this. What I want you to do be grateful that you survived this . And no matter what take care if business . Never let this pain ruin your business and do not dwell on the pain because that can lead you into depression. I like the saying that " what doesn't kill you make you stronger " another saying is that " when theres no peace on earth there's peace In christ " I took them from songs. This sayings led me into peace. Whenever I heard that evil voice inside I would recite them.
@@nomsantsoane9111 thank you for this!
4 months before our wedding he cheated with a friend of his, it was a hot mess and once again, We try having hope and we give our relationships a chance, we worked it out and moved on, got married. 1 year and 4 months of being married he cheated with the same person (1 month ago) . They all use the same excuse that she means noting to them and that we matter more I swear thats the biggest trigger for me. She means fucking enough to cheat with her again,.. who knows maybe it never stopped since the first time.... Hope al is well, and you are doing better
Thank you for the “sorry “ 🙏 I never got it from her 😭…I’m trying to heal
Hi,get help from Dr Wilfred in any kind of problem you might be encountering,he can help in getting someone (Ex) back, money,job, marriage,protection,love, court cases, make himself/her confess, cleaning, pregnancy, reading future,also breaking evils curses in your life.
He really help me that why I am referring him to you.i advice you seek his help now
Thanks.
What @ sap him I pray for the universe grant your heart desired I know of a great man called Dr Wilfred who helped in resolving life issues and challenges.....
Thank you for sharing this and giving hope at the end. Divorce was just finalized. He left a family and 18 years of marriage for another married woman. Started his life over and lets everyone know he couldn't be more happy. Meanwhile I am still trying to pick up the pieces of myself and my kids.I just want to move forward.
I'm so sorry. praying for you.
Of course he feels that way but that's just the honeymoon stage, you were not the problem he was and trust me once that honeymoon stage goes away he will be looking around again. My father left my mom after 25 years of marriage made a new family and guess what? He never changed and left his other woman after 2 kids and 10 years.
I'm so sorry to hear that.. Hope you find your strength and healing.
My prayers are with you! ✨✨
Hoping the sun is starting to shine on you Michelle. Big hugs. x
Thank you. You described me to a tee. I've chosen to stay and work it out. The infidelity occurred 12 years ago. I found out about it six weeks ago. Weve gone through marriage intensive recovery. I still hurt. I dont want to but I do. Your video helped me understand me. Thank you.
I was agreeing with some of your points up until the part about letting go of the obsession. Betrayal trauma is not obsession. It's psychological damage that was caused. The obsession is not by choice, it's because your brain has switched into survival mode. Therapists are noticing this and educating themselves on betrayal trauma or post infidelity stress disorder.
Thing is all of this could be true, about betrayal trauma but we cant dwell in the thing that's causing us to be trapped. Yes it wasn't our fault and your brain is trying to survive but eventually you may suffer for it and no one else will be responsible for it except us.
I’m not disagreeing with the fact that I have to let go, I am trying, I’m man I am trying. How, how do I let go when everything is tainted by this betrayal, it’s in my head pretty much 24/7. The nightmares that wake me up crying and the intrusive thoughts all day. Some days aren’t as bad as others but everyday I wonder if I will ever not feel this way. It’s be 7 months and whilst the constant crying and panic attacks aren’t an every day occurrence anymore, I’m still suffering.
I’ve tried counselling ( 3 different counsellors ) and it made me feel worse and one was so bad at her job that it boggles my mind she is a relationship therapist.
I would not choose him again in a million years
My husband cheated on me the entire time we were married and I continued to stay! I filed for divorce and I told him I was done, he moved back to his mom's and tried to tell me that I really smacked him down! But, he continued to be with her! I finally told him that he finally slit his throat " hypothetically speaking"! Well, we were in the midst of the divorce when he passed away! I will never know why he continued to cheat on me, ei never will. The hard part is now! I just know I have to take it one day at a time, and the recovery is painfully slow! But, I know in time I will get back to me. Thank you for your youtube video!
Hi,get help from Dr Wilfred in any kind of problem you might be encountering,he can help in getting someone (Ex) back, money,job, marriage,protection,love, court cases, make himself/her confess, cleaning, pregnancy, reading future,also breaking evils curses in your life.
He really help me that why I am referring him to you.i advice you seek his help now
Thanks.
What @ sap him I pray for the universe grant your heart desired I know of a great man called Dr Wilfred who helped in resolving life issues and challenges.....
Wow just the beginning and the way you spoke I started crying already, he’s been lying for 6 years every day ! Every single day !! I’m in shock. Just found out yesterday the full extent and im just like wow
@Meleigha Stuman this is disgusting to post in here, no one should get back with their ex narcissist shame on you !!!
Hi Lisa, I hope you are doing well! I don't know, if you will ever read this comment, but I just wanna thank you from the bottom of my heart, because that's exactly what I needed in my current emotional phase. I just wanna mention that you are not like any other people on RUclips, who try to give advices, but they look fake, because they just wanna make a video and promote their books or whatever the whole video, but you share your message with your face expressions, which touched me so deep. Your eyes contact and voice. I'm crying, while I'm writing this comment. My Ex cheated on me twice!! I would like to mention that I'm 23 years old, and she was my first real love and relationship. I did everything for her, I even was there for her when she was sick at 5 in the morning. I loved her so much, but she just used me and broke my heart many times. I tried to forgive her the first time, but she would do it again, even though she would promise to not do it again. She needed a therapy, which I knew right from the beginnig, but you can say I was blindly in love. It's almost 45 days now, since we broke up and last time we had contact, but it's so painful to move on., but I'll stay strong, because I have learnt a big lesson and I'm proud of myself and everything I did for her! Thank you for this video.
Greetings from Vienna-Austria
❤
Hey, its been around 5 months now since the breakup and I am here wondering how you are doing. Hope you survived and is pushing forward, even if you all worked things out.
@@lizzyg1758 Thank you very much for asking Lizzy! It's been actually over 6 months now since the breakup. I've been working on myself the whole time. I didn't want to get in any new relationships, because my wounds weren't healt yet and I guess it's gonna take a long time for me to be able to trust somebody again. However I've been reading a lot of psychology books and how to see the red flags right from the beginning. As I said I was spending the time knowing myself better and most importantly loving being alone. I found peace! I graduated from colleague and I have now a good job and even run my own business! I started to hit the gym on regular basis and spend more time with family and healthy (non toxic) friends. Again, thanks for asking! I hope you are doing well in life and haven't been cheated on! All the best from Vienna, Aozan :)
@@AozanHussien I have been, that’s why I am in this video 😀😀 actually am 32, got married a year ago and my husband was found cheating with one of his friends, this is the 2nd time actually. My journey has now started. Difference between us is that you soo weren’t married, not saying the hurt is different but just the circumstances surrounding it. A lot of gaslighting happened after I found out till he spoke the truth and told me everything. I have some hope still but for the most part I am pretty much different towards him.
Your inspired me to improve on myself, and I believe that couldn’t still happen even if I am still with him. Trying to be a healthier version of myself. Waiting for gyms to open since we are still on lock down in my country
@@lizzyg1758 I'm very sorry to hear that! Of course being married is different. My ex and I had kind of a bound that we made after 6 months we'd been together. It was like the vowls you make at the church when you get married. She would tell me: ''please, don't leave me... I wanna die with you.. Please never cheat on me..'' In the end they are the ones who leave! Keep your head up, Lizzy. Thanks for sharing your experience here in the comments. Reaching the best version of ourselves is the priority! All the best!
I wish I'd seen this video before all the details I fished out ..it's enough to drive you crazy ,I just want to get back to me and it seems so far away,this is the hardest thing I've ever delt with but I am trying to stay
Things that helped me,
realizing none of this was my fault,
grieve in a healthy way,
recognize my faults and become self aware,
fix those and become a better person,
Being a better person attracts better partners and I now have a life 100X better then the one I had before everything happened.
And most important, forgive the person who created a window for me to have a loyal partner and true happiness.
I definitely needed to hear that I don’t need to know the details, because the ones that I know cause so much hurt. So many things on social media and in real life are so triggering to me and makes the healing process so difficult.
This literally made me cry I don’t normally comment on topics likes these but I had to .
Thanks you for sharing your heart miss. My wife cheated on me and I’ve been dealing with everything you spoke of for a year and a half now. This shit hurts so bad and I’ve wanted to leave a million times, but I know I’m only going to drag this hurt with me into another relationship unless I am able to deal with it. So from the bottom of my heart thank you 🙏
I hope you're doing good. I know it hurts. God bless you
Thank you so much. But it's too hard to move on after 23 years and 2 children. But i'm still trying ...
God bless you 🌷
Same thing happened to me. She left my house for his house when I caught her. No closure no let's work it out she just jumped. You are spot on with this. Thanks
I do to let go and give him a chance, but it's really hurt I can't forget 💔 the msg and pictures how he looks happy and how he treats me while he is happy w/ that girl. I feel pity for my self.. very unfair. He really trying to be a good but I said to him "bec I noticed everything." 😥😔😟🙁😞
#Morepower
#Keepsafe
#godblessU
As I struggle with everything you just talked about I want to Thank you for this Video! I needed this hear this from someone that was as heartbroken as I am right now 💔
I like this, this is what I needed to hear it’s been 2 years to say since being cheated on.. we are still together but I been suffering and making her suffer as well... its been a rough 2 years trying to search for answers and watching this Video makes sense to a T.. thank you keep up the good work
Maybe you should leave her. I know it’s hard but maybe you should for the sake of your sanity
He bring baby with another woman i forgive him because of our son but he still cheated on me again i found him my self with the lady in our house it was so painful i just say it's ok i travel to give my self time then after one yr i tell him i can't continue with the relationship then he told me he will kill himself if i leave him he keeps on telling me he will change but my heart is gone i was so heartbroken....still today it's paining me
1. I don't trust anyone anymore. If the love of my life could step over me, what does anyone else owe me?
2. Nowhere is safe, there is no shelter. The wearing of everything now continues constantly with no rest or escape.
3. I am alone. Where there was light and warmth and connection, there are ashes.
4. It keeps replaying in my head, coming usbidden in dreams. No rest.
5. Hardly anyone knows yet, and that's hard because there are so few people to talk to.
Most of the video described well also.
I’m conflicted about needing closure or the one last conversation. I feel like I needed to get answers to questions I have and to get these thoughts out to him. I read online that closure is a myth but I don’t feel that way. I have divorced friends who have literally told me “get your closure! It won’t make it all go away but will help you and you won’t be wondering”. I’m not wanting to know any details of the affair but rather understanding when and where things went wrong in the marriage.
I Just stumbled on your videos and I’m in literal tears. I thought I had healed from my previous spouse cheating on me 9yrs ago but I haven’t because it’s causing in my new marriage.
I wish I had found your video last December when I found out I had been cheated on. Like you, I didn't have the option of processing through it with him cause he had already been living states away for over a year and married to another woman during that time. He ghosted completely once I discovered the truth.
I needed everything you said in this video. It's like you've seen right into my heart and soul.
After how much that betrayal hurt, I still can't bring myself to try dating again. Part of me wants to fall in love again. But most of me wants to protect my heart from further pain. And I feel like I can't trust anyone that completely again. I fear I would be suspicious of everything, that I will see red flags where there aren't any, that I won't be able to trust my own judgment on the person's character or to tell whether they're being honest or not.
I started crying a few times during this video. Thank you so much for this
Everyone says take time but everything that’s ever hurt me deeply has lasted forever
Yes tell me about the pain but the wound can be healed you can do this! It hurt badly now but at the end it will only make you stronger 😌
@@secretvivonne thank you
I needed to hear this. I thought I deserved an apology or explanation and the details. It's been almost a month of the WHY questions in my head.
That part of the process
I just started listening to ur advice today Lisa but honestly I’ve been listening all day!! Ur sweet soft voice is such a soothing tone to listen to and it makes hearing all this that little bit easier..I’m feeling so betrayed & overwhelmed..it came as a huge shock to me as I had just lost my home and two beloved cats to fire and he goes and does this, it’s a very recent thing “she” has showed me.. we haven’t been together for almost 11 months because of the pandemic and he was due to be with me in less than a week for Xmas & new year’s!! Why couldn’t he wait for me after 6years of mad love🥺Now I’m alone in a small country town in Australia grieving on Xmas..
I am at a loss for words as to why any normal man would even think of cheating on you!
I already got all the info I’m in deep guys. I just learned yesterday. Idk what to do
Thank you, Lisa, for caring and sharing your healing message from betrayal. God bless you always 🙏.
Love all the videos but this one well this one is inspired. I have watched it at least twice a day since it came out. This process is so HARD and it HURTS SO MUCH thank you for advice and counsel it is greatly appreciated thank you again
Its been 2yrs..Still im unable to overcome😭
Thank you so much for the video. It hurt so much. Blindsided by the breakup, trying to find closure.. she cheated on and monkey branched on me... she never admitted it, but I learn the truth by a mutual friend. ouch ... It should be easier to move on and say F*uck them knowing all of that... unfortunately it's quite the opposite.
Hearing from a third party can add to feeling of “not being enough.” I am so sorry you’re going through this.
how does one forgive it and try to move on from it when it hurts so much and you love them so much.
I’m so glad I stumbled upon this video. Just what I needed to come to acceptance. Thank you
You're a wonderful human for making this. I was irritated when I heard this because I didn't want to hear it.
I just wonder how you actually drop the pain of what happened and just let it go. That is my hardest fight. Even if I accept that I don't want the details, how so I stop from thinking about the pain of it?
I want to grow up out of this and I am working on it.
My girlfriend of almost 3 years cheated on me with my best friend, after only really knowing him for a few months (he cheated on his last gf) my gf denied it when I had texts from him admitting things and when I knew she was out with him and when her own brother said he saw them getting touchy. One of the worst parts is how her family are such enablers, they kept quiet about it and swept it under the rug (her brother actually called her out which I respect and her family told him to not mention it). Been 2 months and I still eat my self up wishing things were different.
Once you know the details you relive every moment and every second over and and over again. If it was done multiple times you relive every lie and gut feeling you had each time.
I hope you found a better man. You are a true gentle spirit.
Was betrayed by my ex in 2017 with a huge financial infidelity. I forgave and moved on although it crushed me. We went on and I thought we had moved on. In January of 2021 I found out my ex was having an affair with a coworker. I instantly kicked her out and filed for divorce. I read a book and found a book called “leave a cheater gain a life” I realized cheating is a character flaw. What they say about cheaters is true if you take them back they will do it again because it’s a character flaw. Just my brief story. The thing that’s helped me heal is going no contact. This includes blocking them on all social media, their friends, family and coworkers.
Thank you, this helped me. He abandoned me too.
Life becomes ugly after cheating , nothing feels romantic sexy or heaven , when i found out about my wifes affair after she got pregnant my life had no purpose in which i existed,now we are leaving together but with no intimacy sex or talk now shes just a person to me ,
How are things going? It’s been 2 years and I can’t get over it
I know how you feel.
When the trust has been broken, you never feel the same for that person again. Respecting yourself, make changes within your life and walk away. You deserve to be with someone who loves, disires and respect's you. Time is key, and be happy that they have given you an opportunity to find someone better than them.
I had no idea how badly I needed this
Oh boy this got me in tears but I needed to hear this
After watching the whole
Video I just want to say thank you I think I know what I need to do now
ifound myself crying while watching this
what happens if you saw a video? I want to burn my brain right now
I found out a month ago and the video plays in my mind constantly throughout the day. I will start therapy next week and hopefully it helps me out.
Been there. It sticks with you for a little while. But eventually you'll not remember it.
@@jessiepalermo7234 how are you doing now?
@@SanaaJadeCruz Thank you for asking. I am much better. Therapy helped. I was helped to see that nothing that I did justified getting cheated on. When someone doesn't want to be with you, they can just dump you, they don't have to cheat. Cheating is just an outward showing of their own internal issues. I honestly knew that my ex had a lot of issues but I am aware that nobody is perfect and her pros outweighed her cons anyway. But by her cheating on me, she did me a favor. I didn't see that before. Now I have a chance to meet a new person that is better than her and doesn't have all the issues she had. I have not tried dating yet cause I still have a sour taste in my mouth from all this but at least I am no longer in pain.
Thanks For Sharing Lisa.The Truth Is It's Very Hard, Some People Live With This For The Rest Of Their Lives.
Extremely hard. Also not impossible.
The fairness part. Thank you for that. I left him and he tried to kill me. He was arrested but I still feel this is so unfair. I was pregnant and in the hospital. How could he do this to us
Thank you, that has given me great perspective on my current situation.
This is super deep. Made me cry like a baby cuz I know it’s true. But just what I needed to hear. I think I am just hurt over loosing what I though we had.
Yes, keep giving them the power is detrimental to your healing and moving on. It took me a while to figure that out.
Hubby cheated on me 6 years ago. I was heart broken and sick at heart when he said it was my fault because I was a bad wife and he didn't love me anymore. I'm in a wheelchair and was lost as what to do so I told him I would divorce him and take most of his pay. Come to find out if your totally disabled he must keep me in his bank account. We were married for 36 years at the time and then I got mad. I hadn't had time to tell him I had lung cancer and was getting sicker. After he learned what it would cost him he changed his mind and is caring for me as I slowly start to get sicker from chemo and radiation. Now I'm back home and he cooks and cleans the house while I can't. I know where he is at all times or I divorce him. Love only goes so far. Thanks and God bless you. Peace
She left because she cheated, and doesn't want us to work even if we fix our issues.
My divorce was finalized in June but it didn’t occur to me that she had cheated until a month later. I was deleting old pictures when memories came back. I wish I had been more questioning of her at the time or had looked at her cell phone. Now I want answers that I’ll never get.
35 years of living a lie here. Im very angry, tore up and am stuck in anger. I want to know WHY???? I FEEL LIKE IM GOING TO EXPLODE. My hate is so large and overpowering. I'm at a loss of what to do. I'm all over the place.
Anger was my dominant emotion too. My early way out was to exercise to exhaustion. It really did provide some breathing room. I hope you can find what works for you.
Thank you for breaking it down so honestly yet so gently💜
is to early for me to listen this. I have watched couple of videos, and no matter what I heard, I still feel bad about my wife cheated on me... just because she always blame me for anything she does. I have always been the reason for her that she does not want me, that she is angry, that she has a hard time with her life, that she plows too much and I have less time for children, when I changed the plow, I earn too little. When she cheated on me, she only looks for the reason in me that it happened. And when she finally talked to me, listened to it, I thought that I understood that I wanted to find out about it so that 3 weeks later it turned out that he was still having an affair and I was still the reason for it... I've love her too much. and I'm broken i się now...
So, so true. Thank you, as always.
Oh my God!! Her intro made me cry.. 😭😭😭
All I want to do is yell n tell the other how I felt ik it wouldn't change anything but it's better than keeping the anger and sadness in
those hit hard !!! the more details I have the more I suffer.. how how that person i loved the most could do this to me in the back of a car in a parking lot in plain daylight !!! how is this person my wife?
If you found photos of the two in action then details don’t matter
Wow
In my mind, a cheater is also a liar, so there is zero point in asking for details. Why waste your time finding out details that you'll never know for certain, are even true? What I ask is why I ignored so many red flags and gave so many chances to a user.
Thank you 🙏🏽 . This was so so so so helpful 🥲😊
I needed to hear all of this.
I am a man and i was cheated in 2016 and still sometime i cant even sleep even till now its eating me alive nobody know my struggle its very. Hard people said just move on ..its easy to saud but when you are in the spot you want but your mind wiont just go away ..and when your bestfriend your cousin is thé one who is cheating with your girl its just pain .. I think it is just a hell
I was emotionally cheated on! She was talking to her co-worker for 2.5 months before she broke up with me. And she always blamed me for all the failures of the relationship.
I loved her, a part of me still do. But 10 months later, I’m still hurt and crushed! But I’m working on myself and I’m leveling up! I’m starting to feel that she lost something great and I am starting to thank her for breaking up with me. Heartache and pain can be a great motivator but it still hurts like a mofo!!!
That last line - so true!
After finding out that your spouse has cheated on you -, the best options are to: 1.divorce, 2.forgive, & 3. heal & move on with your life. Leaving with a spouse that has cheated on you is never going to be healthy for the cheater & you the person that has been cheated on in the relationship.
I just found out I have been cheated on by my husband of 23 years. He found someone whose age is 20 and he is 48 years. I am still with him but we don't talk and he disappears for days without coming home. I thought I was the only person suffering in this but there are many just lke me. Thank you for this video really helps. I am a strong beautiful women and I know tht he is the one at fault. I just find it very hard to give up on my hard work of 23 years , the dedication and sacrifices I made in this marriage, the shit I put up with for 23 years and just when I thought it is time for me and my children to enjoy our rewards he goes and fuck me over. Now! All my rewards will be awarded to someone who never even sacrificed a day for him. I have faith tht God is watching everything and I will be given my justice one-day. As they say Karma is a bitch when it comes back for you....
That sounds like such a difficult position to be in.
I just got cheated on and when I confronted him he got angry at me and he kept lying laughing at my face I’m mentally not ok
My wife cheated on me ,I'm not a perfect husband by any means but I have been trying to heal and we are back together but she insist that she still wants to be friends with the other guy and sees him nearly everyday and drinks beers with him for hours but tells me they're just friends, now we argue every time she goes over to see him and she tells me not to get jealous and she feels caged up and doesn't feel free to do what ever she wants, I'm confused and ready to give up on her and my 24 year marriage but a 32 year relationship .we separated and she moved in with him and now she's back with me ,there's not a day that goes by that she has to go to his place for something, I try and heal and meditate but the everyday visits are killing inside
Leave man.