The Worst Dysfunctional Coping Mechanism for Empaths
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- Опубликовано: 12 сен 2023
- Empaths experience overwhelm a lot in daily life. Empaths are easily overwhelmed by other people and their emotions, charged energy from the news and the media, and too much sensory stimulation in the environment. “Too much sensory stimulation” might mean total chaos, or it might mean a level of stimulation that would be considered “normal” by other people.
Environments like a busy café, a shopping mall, an open office plan, or a party at someone’s house are all environments that might easily overwhelm empaths. Empaths also get overwhelmed by more than one person talking to them at a time, too much sound in the background (for example, a television or music playing as we’re trying to talk), having to multitask, things happening too fast, not enough transition time, and mundane daily-life activities.
When empaths are overwhelmed, they become triggered, and when they are triggered, they usually choose a strategy of defense. All empaths usually choose the same strategy of defense, and it is often the worst coping mechanism that an empath could choose to get through various situations, because it has lasting after-effects that negatively impact an empath’s quality of life. However, most empaths are completely unconscious that they are choosing this negative coping mechanism again and again in their daily lives, and so they suffer the effects of it, without having a solution to resolve the problem. This is one of the most common problems for empaths, and it needs to be addressed with awareness and consciousness in order to move past it. Watch the video to find out more.
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Too much stimulation-> mental shutdown
Also you describe dissociation- the trauma coping mechanism we used as children.
Wow, the first few minutes of this video were so validating -- all of those things are the things that overstimulate me! Strange to hear someone else articulate it so accurately. We appreciate you 🙏
Wow when you described the part about escape and being overwhelmed I started crying.
Overthinking and obsessive fantasy too...
As a kid I was so sensitive and I feel like I still am. For a large portion of my life I was escaping into books or shows that I'm already familiar with. I would cry during school plays or in every sad part of a movie, making me hate them as a kid. I became floaty, both incredibly spiritual in my interests but also disconnected frpm reality and numb to certain physical sensations, food, music that would repeat outside of control.
Been grounding a lot more lately and I'm proud of where I am now. Still got a ways to go
Yep. I’ve been finding letting go of peoples ideas of what I should be very helpful lately even though it’s painful and I’ve been avoiding that for most my life because of fear of rejection due to neglect that happened but wasn’t really anyones fault it’s just a matter of a parent having to face their own issues and being triggered from something unhealed within them while trying to also take care of me as a child. Mistakes happen and it’s a matter of the family your born into and the things that have happened to everyone along the way. Im also truly embracing who I am as well. I’ve learned the only way out is through and the combination of letting go and embracing myself is combating the overwhelm I’ve always felt to be much more manageable and that all came to a head with the worst anxiety attack I’ve ver had in my life. The resulting growth and authenticity is actually preferred by the people I love more than I knew or thought.
When I'm in overwhelm or stuck in the ni-ti loop, I ask myself "how does my body feel?" That question immediately takes me out of my head
I have never heard the advice to eat root vegetables to ground yourself. That is so obvious and genius! Thank you!
Loved this video Lauren because I can relate completely. Spent most of my life getting overstimulated and then suffering the consequences. As a kid it always led to me being "grumpy" or withdrawn. Never had the social stamina of most of my fellow classmates. I remember one year joining the soccer team and after a week of staying after school for the two hours of drills and practice I was finished. It wasn't so much the soccer or the running but that I had already used up all my energy during the school day with regular academic classes and the physical classes like Phys ed and band. Not to mention lunch period. All the noise and commotion and information took its toll on me and so adding on the other two hours of soccer was a bridge too far for me. I didn't understand this at the time though and felt like a "failure" for not being able to do something so many others seemed energized by. I later on joined the marching band but their practice was not immediately after school so I had a couple of hours to recharge and process before I had to engage with social activity again. I thrived in this activity. Wish I had known about neurodivergence and my INFJ nature way back then!
I learn something every time I watch one of your videos. I did some deep breathing while I was watching this one because I recognized that I was overstimulated
Thank you Lauren, yes, all of the above "coping" strategies are more natural than breathing, so it's difficult to remember to ground before reaching the point of doing the disappearing act (mentally AND physically) or to even recognize when the edge of the world is near; and sometimes even though you see it coming there just isn't any way out of the dilemma. Just got crushed by this 4 days ago, still haven't returned to the body, and all because I can't decide on whether a potential situation is something I want, (how the Hell would I know, I'm an INFJ 🙄) or what the other expects. Yes, withdrawal into fantasy makes so much more sense.
I lived the first 20 years of life in my head, then another 15 in just my body... Now It's been ten years of integration and I've never felt more empowered, or more confident.
This sounds very recognizibel to me! Late in life I've had some trauma events (after a long and hectic work life..) Thanks so much Lauren - your explanations are very helpful !! ❤
Thank you. This resonates with me. Very recognizable.
Does anyone argue with people in advance
Absolutely - how many hours have I wasted arguing with people in my head.
@@jansimpson4364YES!, but they never "get it" in my head either, so I end up doorslamming them ;)
Absolutely all the time
I even talk to Oprah about my problems in my head. (Not trolling!)
I try to prepare myself by thinking through the scenario I wouldn’t call it arguing but inevitably when I get to living it out it becomes an argument and I’m left wondering how did that result in this
I really like your videos!
I am stuck in this loop now I feel overwhlemed because of job conditions as well as waiting for delayed promotion. I think I need to come myself down. What should I do beside breathing, having good sleep and eating fruit and vegetables?
Good.
Is there a difference between highly sensitive people and empaths? I have heard about what you talked about in connection to HSPs and was just wondering, are all Empaths HSPs? and and are all HSPs Empaths or is one a quality one can have rather than a characteristic?!
Is daylight too bright? sunglasses.
Is it too loud in public? earbuds or earplugs.
Too many ideas? write it down.
Use whatever tools you have available to minimize the impact of your hyperactive senses. Take note of hypoactive (dulled) senses, such as thirst/hunger. You can have great adventures if you gear up with the right tools.
❤❤❤
If you also have fibro with this it is like pushing upwards but also really consticted breath, which amps the ocd too.
Sounds like Ayurveda 😊❤
Thank you for the vocabulary I needed to comprehend this 😌
Occasionally my overwhelm goes into a functional blackout
Dissociative amnesia 🎉
Not sure how to interface with that because it happens instantaneously 😢
First, "empath" isn't a thing. Second, what you're describing isn't even the correct misuse of the term. Third, some of these that you're describing apply to almost anyone. I don't mean to be too negative, but its not helpful to make stuff up.
Isn't a "thing..."
WHAT-?
Explain yourself.
I love when people say things like, I don't mean to be negative while being negative...
What's up buddy, everything okay?😢
It actually sounds like she’s describing HSP.