Why the Stories We Tell Ourselves Shape Us
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- Опубликовано: 13 янв 2018
- this video is a story about stories. I hope you like it.
Interviews/Book links
Tim's full podcast - tim.blog/2015/02/02/arnold-sc...
Ellen's full interview with Malala - • The Incomparable Malal...
Scott Jurek's book on Ultramarathon running (talk about grit!) - www.amazon.com/Eat-Run-Unlike...
Follow / Support Links
Twitter: / coffeebreak_yt
Facebook: / coffeebreak42
Patreon: / coffee_break
Music
Jinsang - Slumpin
/ slumpin
Jafunk - Toast Tapes
/ jafunk-exclusive-mixtape
Jinsang - Affection
/ affection
Video References
Beauty and the Beast opening scenes
• Beauty and the Beast "...
Reading stock footage
• Reading an old Book 03...
Looking at PC footage
• Looking at PC Monitor ...
Notebook stock footage
• Notebook - Free HD Sto...
Rick and Morty, screenplay criticism
• Morty's screenplay cri...
Kite Runner clip
• The Kite Runner (1/10)...
mountain running clip
• 2005 World Mountain Ru...
iron man running clip
• Pro Men Running 2013 H...
Arnold lifting clips
• Best Bodybuilder of Al...
more arnold lifting clips
• Arnold Schwarzenegger ...
acoustic guitar player stock footage
• Acoustic Guitar Player...
arnold interview clip
• Arnold Schwarzenegger ...
A christmas carol clip
• "A Christmas Carol" - ...
scott jurek clip
• Video 
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![MURDER DRONES Series Finale [TRAILER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/p6mhC5Iatns/mqdefault.jpg)
This makes me think of the Patrick Rothfuss quote: It's like everyone tells a story about themselves inside their own head. Always. All the time. That story makes you what you are. We build ourselves out of that story.
Love that
That's basically being lead by your locus of control. I don't think that's commendable but a tragic realization... because you make everything to be about yourself, the world into a theatre scene where you must have a role to play and conclude that you matter solely by virtue of existing. I appreciate Rothfuss because they were sensible enough to add "It's like".
"My confidence came from my vision" - Love that. Believing you can do it is essential and powerful. -Colin
""My confidence came from my vision" - Love that. Believing you can do it is essential and powerful. -Colin" This is great and true. -Sirfruitcakes
I love your content, Colin and Samir.
This explains why people tell me I'm very optimistic even when I feel that I'm not, my inner narrative is always looking for a positive and thus it happens, great video!
YoAntoNeo unfortunately this proves Rick is right. all that matters is our perception. and so the happiest people are those who are closed minded... and this means racism is truly the best fundamental value for a happy life. but a happy life does not mean a good life. feeling bad about who you are is the only way to spread good to others. sacrifice is the only way to bring about love. and keeping your own nihalism silent an internal pain is the only way to do good for others.
all else is lies. all else is a positive mindset that disregards what we can clearly see. because lying to ourselves allows us to make the sacrifices to achieve what we want to achieve, but it also means we are lying... and this results in our own capacity for evil as well, and for us to keep doing it, even if it is hurting others. like this post I know sharing with others this truth will hurt them, but I also cannot keep it hidden. so I share it openly. letting the dragon out and showing it to others as that a dragon. and I ask them how we can defeat this dragon together, without lying to ourselves the dragon is not there.
what
ill read this again once i'm sober
But.. you're noone to look up to, you havent achieved much, atleast not yet, therefore your comment is no proof of positive thinking being useful. I believe in rationality and objectivity mixed with selfconfidence, and strong will, but in no fairytale land, andcthat got me far in my life.
@@ethrez I guess it depends on what you want out of life, but at least I would rather see everything from the bright side (especially when it comes to things you have no control over) and be all around happier for it than focus on succeeding and nothing else. If you always focus on succeeding you wont be happy because even if you do succeed you can always succeed more.
Thanks for watching, I hope you enjoyed the video! 100K is coming soon, and sharing this video will help us get there!!! Your support has been unbelievable, so thank you :)
Coffee Break this is confirmation bias. For example, while Arnold Schwarzenegger was imagining himself winning so did everyone else running. You only tell the story of the people who succeeded, not the people who did the same thing and failed.
A lottery ticket player will tell you to double down and keep playing the lottery everyday of your life and you will win. There are millions of people who do just that and never win. So it's not useful to just believe that successful people are successful by their own merit anymore then it makes any sense to tell a kid in Darfur that he could be a millionaire of only he had the vision and tried hard enough.
Zachary Bittner do you know any Mister Olimpia, that imagined himself like a piece of shit? 😄😃😀
mark flake what I'm saying is that everyone has delusional thoughts. After they succeed at their delusional thought they attribute there success to the delusion. It's not the delusion that made them successful. It's that success reinforces delusions.
The delusions themselves are not necessarily beneficial either because it makes you believe that things like genetics, background, etc. Are not responsible for your success but just your personal ability. Furthermore, it encourages people who might be successful in other fields to stick with riskier behavior that will probably lead to there downfall.
How many people forego education because they envision themselves of going to new York and becoming a famous singer, musician, actress. How many people ignore education in favor of becoming a famous football or basketball star? Those who do become the very few successful athletes, actors and musicians will mostly attribute part of their success to there belief in themselves but there are even more unsuccessful actors and athletes with the exact same belief in themselves that are now selling cars on the side of the road or stripping.
It's confirmation bias.
Furthermore, those kids who thought they were pos and believed the world to be bad will probably engage in less risky behavior which will reinforce behavior like investing in Roth iras while they are young under the presumption that they aren't going to necessarily make it when they are older.
So for everyone celebrity who believes in there delusion there are probably even more hedge fund managers who are more stressful because they didn't listen to them.
More importantly, if you want to be a success. There was an investor who heard a pitch before for a podcast and the investor told him he did it all wrong.
What he wanted to know a was what unfair advantage you had.
So what you should do is self access and see what your unfair advantage is and focus on that. You don't need to have faith in yourself because you know what you can do that others can't.
Zachary, I hear you, and I think you're saying something I don't argue with. You are not guaranteed first place just because you imagine yourself there, BUT you do greatly improve your odds, because if you imagine yourself as the greatest, you will work as if you are the greatest. My point with Arnold was that his belief propelled the work ethic that got him to the top. Luck definitely factored in though, there is no doubt, but either way he would've been *one* of the greatest body-builders even if he didn't win.
Coffee Break I think that's more luck then anything. Look at the histories of successful people. The vast majority came from successful families and went to prestigious universities. The one so didn't are outliers. So it would make more sense to create a model based on the most successful within your set, rather then build a model in an attempt to copy the success of an outlier. I think trying to copy the success of an outlier will lead you to actually copy potentially bad behavior rather then good. like I was saying, taking on risky behavior on the potential of future reward rather then realistically addressing your risk vs reward potential.
For every successful Arnold Schwarzenegger, there is a guy you never heard of who suffered from kidney failure from steroid abuse.
I am an powerful creature that has been made through the genes of humans that survived all the horrors of this earth, and I WILL get out of this bed.
my opinions are facts just after 5 mins! 😪😪😪
Aim for a larger goal after you get out of bed.
🛀
"All the stories are fictitious. What matters is which fiction you believe in."
-Ender's Saga
Interesting stuff! Keep up the great work and you'll reach 100k in no time.
Thanks Polymatter!
wow polymatter watched this
I've reached the deep end again!
lol
when the unknown becomes known, the fear of the unknown dissappears. that's logical and obvious, not some kind of "using the bad event as fuel" or anything. but this was a great video overall. thanks dude
There was a quote: You fear what you don't understand, you hate what you can't conquer. Not sure if it's true but it seems to be a good rule of thumb.
You can't just repeat a mantra in your head. You have to truly believe what you tell yourself. You have to visualize the future and act upon it. Meditation helps with this. Meditation allows you to think clearly without your brain jumping around.
Jarad Richards very true :)
agreed 👏
Really appreciated this one. Thanks!
Carl Jung's concept of synchronicity- life is a series of meaningful coincidences
Personally, I'd always prefer honesty over ignorance, I know it truly is bliss but truth means more to me than happiness.
that belief in itself is a story you tell yourself
For the most part, we decide who we are whether we realise it or not. I can correlate all of my most recent achievement to realizing this. Before, I used to veiw myself as naturally lazy, and procrastination rules over me, but now that I've realized that no one is "naturally" weak, I'm excercising 3 times every week, getting great grades in college, and writing that book I've always been meaning to. Now, I still have to deal with laziness and procrastination from time to time(I actually should be doing some work right now instead of watching RUclips, oops🤣😋), but I would have never accomplished the things that I have done if I didn't realise that we decide who we are, and having this mindset that we can do all these amazing things actually make them possible
This is the exact purpose of Jordan Peterson's Self authoring program. Once you know what you want to do and what would happen if you don't pursue your goals reaching them becomes your purpose.
Arnoldo Gonzalez This video is a lot cheaper. LOL
this is by far one of the most important videos on RUclips right now,
this is exactly what i do in order to better myself, thank you so much!
This actually happened to me recently, it's small, but it's still something.
I didn't believe I can get straight A's for my exams and that's because I believed that Accounts was too hard for me and that I would never get a hold of it. Then just two days ago our school had this motivation talk with a guy telling us that you should not aim for a goal, but just aim to do your best, worry not about reaching the destination but about going far enough. And after an inspiring video and some facts, I believed that that was all I needed, and today was the first time I opened my Accounts book, did notes, and understood stuff. I didn't finish much, but at least I started.
I have decided that i regret nothing, that is the story i have told myself, and now after a few years i regret nothing, i told myself i am confident and good looking, so now i truely believe it. Nice video you gave me the words, for what i have thought for so long, but couldn't articulate.
christian sehested Not regretting is a great way to hinder your progress as a human. You will not even take a look at your own mistakes to learn from them.
@@tortture3519you don't have to regret to learn from your mistakes. They are mutually exclusive
I already had this kind of thought about how your vision afects your life, and I'm so glad you put it out there clear and organised :)
Love the kind of music, the voice, the way you talk, and how you present an idea.
Just the kind of inspiration I was needing. Thanks Coffee Break!
Thank you coffee break! This inspired me more 3 years ago and I’m just now realized it
It's nice to see someone express my thoughts in a coherent way with music and Gifs!
This chanell is the definition of original content
Is it me or this channel is GOLD
Thank you! Keep making videos and don't lose your vision!
Awesome video as always Coffee Break
So much props for these videos
thank you!
I wish I could meet you and thank you for the quality of videos you provide.
Clearly, you have a lot of books on the matter.
Great video!
Thank you for sharing your perspective of life !
Really needed this one, thanks
In my early 30's, having not run for nearly 20 years because I was "a smoker" for most of those, I saw a cute runner guy, got ashamed when he saw me smoking, threw away the pack, and that night ran a block. That's all I could do. Next night, just a block. Etc. until months later I was running 3mi continuously, in the woods.
I'm back to being a smoker, but being a runner was a glorious thing.
Love that story 😅😅😅 If it was ment like a joke. 😎 If not, still good, at least you tried;)
Deliberate storytelling, I like it
Another very interesting video, CB. So glad you are hitting your stride! - Shell
This vid was recommended to me via notification. The message was awesome. The videostyle was funny but not too distracting. The voice was clear and calm but not boring. The music was excellent.
What can I say. Subscribed
I found your channel recently, and I love it! You're awesome man keep making such cool videos. You really stick out to other channels, and I can't get enough of the vibe
Thank you! That means alot :)
this was the greatest video i have ever watched, write your own story
Love the content friend keep up the good work.
Good stuff, man. Caught one of your videos in the suggestion bar and you got me hooked. Love seeing more quality content online.
Hey wow this was actually pretty damn helpful man. I needed this.
This was great! Loved it!
This was nice, thanks
Thanks for this video. I'm going to listen to the part of myself that'll lead me where I want to go rather than my inner nihilist.
This idea has been popping up in one form or another on various channels I follow, and it's been making me take a close look at my perspective lately.
Truly inspiring, your talented and I really hope you don’t run out of interesting things to say.
Great video! I really liked this one.
This is arguably one of the most important video essays in the world.
This channel deserves way more popularity. I'm sharing the videos to get the views higher
this is very good man
keep up the good work
This is true, i experienced it in my life. I always thought a certain thing is impossible to me, that i would never have the guts to do it, but then i just shifted my mindset and started doing it in a way that i would keep it in my mind as something that i am capable of. And it somehow worked, even though i didnt have any skills or experience or anything at all to start with, but the mindset kept me from dropping it at the first failure.
The most important story we are acting upon is what we saw/experienced in our first seven years. In a clip it was described like a hypnosis we all undergo.
I was impressed because it seems logical to feel according this individual reality. One remembers some events but there is a long subconscious story how people 'really' are.
Malala is a gift! She is as close to an earth bound angel as there is in this world!
The jinsang at the end is a really nice touch
This is also the point of the book The Talisman by Stephen King. The power of narrative to heal, harm, and manifest reality.
This is the stuff, keep it up !
Great video love you stuff!
really heart-warming video!
Will this help me with depression?
it could.
Did u try drugs
Sum yung guy shitty idea
Ique yes
If you think about your depression as a sort of mindset, then yeah I think so. In my experience, depression is something that goes away when you fill up your time with anything but depression time.
With depression, making a story and following through is way easier said than done. But I guess that's the cliffhanger Coffee Break made here; how you bridge the gap between the story and your commitment will be your personal touch.
you ARE a video essayist. thank you for sharing
needed this! thank you! :-)
This is because we humans are feeling beings before thinking. Once we feel a certain way, we then rationalize what we feel. If you've ever had an argument with someone who doesn't see your clear logic, not matter how clear it really is, that's because you haven't convinced them to agree with you.
Your video inspired me to be better. Thank you!
Interesting concepts! I was thinking about this last week, and even though I subscribe to almost all claims you make, paradoxically I reached the opposite conclusion. I feel like many of these ''narratives" or "identity claims" are often holding you back, because how you form your identity depends on the people around you. Of course, if you're around truly inspiring and ambitious people you can form a similar mindset which will become a self-fulfilling prophecy. But for many other people - and for the situations in which you haven't formed a "productive narrative" yet - letting go of narratives altogether might be a better option than forming another restrictive identity for yourself. So, if you would think "Hey, maybe it's nice to go skateboarding sometime?", forming an opinion about what it means to be a skateboarder, what kind of people go skateboarding, shaping that narrative towards your own identity etc. seems like a hopeless and time-wasting exercise, and one that in the future will hold you from changing your opinion if necessary (especially in more important situations). Instead, I would view it "simply as the act of stepping on a skateboard", nothing more and nothing less. This way there is no story, no baggage, and all of a sudden you can spend an afternoon skateboarding, enjoying yourself, and it won't mean anything significant for your identity, so you're more likely to do it. I understand that for habit-forming etc. it might be helpful in the short-term to have story, but I truly wonder if, if you're capable of such a thing at all, it might not be best to train yourself to let go of stories all together. This way you're less influenced by the stories people around you tell you, you can change your opinion quicker, and live a more liberated life as there is no fear for change in your identity.
Hear, hear! However, it is difficult to simply let go of stories. In order to do that, one has to be able to see the world and the stories she tells herself as merely sensations that vanish in an instant, rather than automatically ascribing meaning to them. Obviously meaning is important, but, as you said, it is important not to be trapped within particular ways of ascribing meaning. This takes a lot of focus, so most people are better off skillfully cultivating the stories that give them the emotional results that they want.
I feel like you'd have to be able to let go of your identity altogether to do this, since I'd say that a person's identity is just made up of the stories relating to a person's experiences. I don't know how achievable it is to entirely separate your actions from your identity.
+boy punk I agree that you cannot separate your actions from the stories you tell yourself. I would take it a step further, and say that you cannot even separate your thoughts from the stories you tell yourself. However, it is possible to see the world without looking at it through the lens of the stories you tell yourself, and this is what matters. When we see the world as it is, we can skillfully choose the most useful stories for whatever situation we are involved in, and this is real freedom.
Please be Seated For Stand-up
I don't think drawing a different conclusion from a set of premises is a paradox, you just have a different interpretation of the implications of one or more premise(s).
A paradox is more like this: an object that breaks anything it hits collides with an object that never breaks. What happens? Well, no one can create/experience an experiment with imaginary perfect objects, and because our logic is limited by our brains' experiences, our brains can't conceptualize an answer to the question. Paradoxes show the limits of human logic/ reason; they show what is logically impossible to know x.x
Joshua Peters I don’t think we can see the world as it is. I believe that we always interpret the world based upon what we believe is true. I believe that we get the best approximation of the world by discussing our interpretation of the world with people that disagree with us.
You don't have to psyche yourself into believing that youre something you want to become you just have to know that you have the ability to become whatever you focus your time on.
Nice vid man! also love the music lol
I love this, so much
Marvelous buddy, Great video !
i love this channel
You are like a refreshing breeze! I absolutely love your channel, I hope your channel grows exponentially! {yes i know what the word means)
I was first introduced to the concept when I was doing sports science and psychology at A-level. We called it 'Self-fulfilling Prophesy' at the time, which is a neat word for it I think, and one of the only parts of that class that's stuck with me since. I used the idea to motivate myself through university, and now I have a first class honours degree in mathematics. I think that it's also partly why I'm more optimistic about the world than most other people I meet, generally.
When you think you can, you do. its just working positive attitude
You are a video essayist.
You are a video essayist.
You are a video essayist.
You are a video essayist*
You are THE BEST VIDEO ESSAYIST!
Your vids are AWESOME
GOD DAMN. Thank you!
this is a useful video thanks
Wow I love that video! :)
Wow I never really thought of it like this, great video might become a patreon
My favorite video on RUclips
great video!
I love the lofi background music
This is so damn true.
Well said Sir.
I love video essays :)
Thank you!
Dude I am in love you in this channel
I've been somewhat enamored of the idea that stories can be self-fulfilling prophecies, and you presented it really well. It's a powerful tool well worth understanding.
On the flip side, a video about the pitfalls of this way of thinking could also be very interesting. For example, you made the point that one can view the world as an inherently good place and be happier as a result; while that much is true, optimism of that kind can also lead people to ignore the genuine problems that exist and make things worse in the long run.
niiice video,great channel!
Wes Cecil's lecture called 'Introduction to thinking' i feel is kinda connected to what are you talking about here though he mostly focuses on narratives that are 'implanted' into our lives from our early childhood depending on lots of factors from language to environment, parents etc, not as much those we unleash upon ourselves. Anyways, super happy i stumbled upon your work, keep it up !
I needed this today. I've been stuck in a rut for so long, despite doing things everyday to progress in all my goals. Underneath, who do you really think you are? Its probably very different from the person other people think you are.
_Five hours!_ Good god!
I love affection, from jinsang
Great video :3
Once I spent like an hour thinking about how do I see myself in the future, ideally, how my life would look like if I achieve my goals and dreams. Everything, very detailed, but not only work wise but relationship wise, how would my relationship with my family and friends be like, everything really. And when Im not feeling very motivated, or tired or with low confidence on myself I like to take my time to remember that, and think that person knows im stronger than this, and smarter than I think I'm and it gives me confidence and push me to work harder and also have better relationships with people I love, make more time for them. It really helps me.
Hey, great video as always! I just finished the book "The Art of Not Giving a Fuck", and would recommend it to anyone who found this video interesting. Love the channel, keep up the good work!
This is beautiful
Been watching Coffeebreak video all along and didn't realize it was cofeezilla 😂
It can also backfire horribly, making you feel like failures to reach your internal narrative makes you a failure as a person
😁 this is pretty much a synopsis of my whole thesis on life. plus you ended of with Pharcyde... ⚡⚡⚡
Man, I was there eating my chicken and Mac cheese, and that girl started talking and I goddamn teared up on the spot, Jesus Christ, that was powerful
Manifesting your life.
for some time now I’ve known this but could never properly put it into words
lets share the knowledge ayy
Thank you❤