Satan Announces Early Retirement Thanks To TikTok
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- Опубликовано: 5 фев 2024
- Thanks to the stellar widespread work of TikTok influencers, Satan has announced his intention to retire early. Despite his 6000-year career of spreading evil and hatred across the globe, he has come to terms with the fact that he just can't keep up with the output of filth and vitriol found on TikTok. Sad.
In all seriousness, what are YOU going to watch next? Stuff that Satan says, or the thousands of videos on @answerstvofficial to help you and your family find answers to your BIG questions about God, Satan, and our world. Subscribe today and start a 7-day FREE trial: getanswers.org/bee
#comedy #tiktok #christian #babylonbee 
Приколы
Disney mourns the retirement of its most well known CEO.
oy vey
😅😂
He’s moved on to other project, he’ll be around
Also Hunter and Trudeau.
He's retiring to his penthouse condo in Tel Aviv.
Anyone else notice that the seven deadly sins (Pride, Envy, Lust, Greed, Wrath, Gluttony and Sloth) are being transformed into virtues?
It's like the seven combined to make social media.
I did notice that. Glad somebody else did. On the other hand, virtuous things like honesty and motherhood are now sins.
Those are made up by the movie seven and are not biblical......
@RTStx1 More like during the middle ages.
WTF?? You know nothing about the Bible or Christianity if you think this LMAO @@RTStx1
I can't blame Satan for retiring. The competition these days is brutal.
😂😂😂👍
It really is tough, he's retiring to Canada. He's going to help with the MAID program and work with children. So chin up
😂 Schwab, Gates, Bourla, Fauci, Tedros, Biden, Trudeau and Sunak all make Satan look like a choirboy.
@@user-kl9vq9os4w We mustn't forget Soros.😁
With the great leaps forward that A.I. (automated impiety) makes these days, there is just no place in the world anymore for traditional maliciousness...
The Devil knows when to call it quits, unlike politicians.
The Hawaiian shirt is a good touch 😂
He knows when he has succeeded, the rest will destroy itself on its own so he can sit back relax and have a nice cold drink.
CALIFORNIA:
Don't you watch the WWE? 🫵😲
In professional wrestling that's considered a "tag out!" 😒😬🙄😈🇺🇲🔥
I don't know....the Devil according to Scripture is only about 3,500 years old Biden has him beat by a 1000 years at least😂😂😂😂😂
I heard that he wanted to run for the Democrat nomination for President but they considered him too moderate.
and too young.
Brilliant and true
😂
@@plaintiveplainvanilla9729 BEST RESPONSE EVER!
BEST COMMENT EVER!!!
he's almost old enough to run for congress
This needs more likes
😂😂😂😂
I thought it was Chuck for a minute til I saw the shirt.
He wouldn’t be caught dead in that.
Maybe even President,, I hear he’s jealous of joes ability to lie, deceive and the sheer number of illegals joes had flooding the country by simply asking them to come. The devils had to do all kinds of tricks to get half those kinda numbers a day.
what are you talking about?....he is still sti...stlillghazrk homefungar zork anyway.... i want some ice cream
Jesus has overcome the world!!! Hallelujah!!! Jesus is the risen Lord and will reign forever and ever!!!🙌🏼🙌🏼🙌🏼✨✨✨
That's wonderful. But this isn't a video supporting evil. Its meant to mock it.
I'm concerned for your view point have you looked around outside your own backyard?
Hallelu-YAH!
Alu-lu yeah
The guy who plays the devil there's an absolute comedic genius with perfect timing....
you're a genius for seeing his genius!
AGREED! He made him just a normal guy, not scary. Good move. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry."
That guy is gold. He could make a crap-ton of money in Hollywood if he'd be willing to sign an NDA or two...;)
Satan seems kind of down to earth and reasonable, which makes it very odd that the Left likes him so much
😂😂😂
Down to earth .. nice lmao
I guess that means he's pretty good at what he does then, lol
Satan sometimes comes down to Earth in the form of a reasonable guy. Don't trust a down to Earth guy who seems too reasonable. Ewe.
@@MoStBlEsSeD ⚡⚡⚡ 😂😂😂
Gotta hand it to him. He gives a Hell of a press conference.
🤣🤣🤣
Your comment is 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥
😂
Never thought I would cheer for Satan. This guy is hilarious
Thats a good come back 😊👍
You know it's bad when even Satan's job is getting automated
Working closely with both parties in DC...Priceless!
If Satan retires dc would be out of business!
Nah, just off to other things...
He couldn't handle the competition.
And Pedo@wood too.
Biden turns in his application for a promotion to Satan
And Hollyweird
Unfortunately, he’s probably lying
Father of all lies
Yep I can imagine he’s just lying. That’s what he does.
Lies more than Odin.
He'll just un-retire like an NFL quarterback.
Yeah; he didn't include "Prince of Lies" in his job title(s).
“I couldn’t have done it without you” that hit hard. It’s so true. How humanity has despised and rebelled against our Maker😢
Can't believe he didn't give a shout out to The View. I guess there's just so many he couldn't thank everyone that helps him.
Oh that was great 😄😄😄
Proud to say I have never been on Tik Tok. There are enough RUclips compilations to make me disgusted about what is on there.
😂
I haven't either. Never ticked the tock. Why can't the world see that this app was specifically created to divert people's attention and brainwash them, especially the youth?
Me too, I don’t want to touch that even if they paid me.
Exactly! Same here!
The one good thing my country's government did was to ban tiktok.
Who needs Satan anymore when most of mankind is doing the work for him?!
How can Satan compete with LGBT?
@@ConservativeGrouch He isn't competing with them, he made them.
@@MultiSky7 True -- but doesn't it seem at times like the student has become the master?
@@ConservativeGrouch yup, and that's why he is retiring. They are now doing better job than he would.
100% Facts
I love how he thanks the media and says he couldn’t have done it without them. Too true. 😂
Thanks to the WEF, UN & WHO & FEDERAL RESERVE also.
You forgot CERN😂
Word has it, he went back to Georgia to get that fiddle back
From Fani. She's through with the fiddle, isn't she?
@@musicteacher5757 she'll just have her "security guard/boyfriend" get her another one using those taxpayer $
Ha! Best!
Best comment! I miss Charlie.
He would never beat Chalkie.
Satan opened Tik Tok and was horrified at what he saw.
I notice it’s young people and people in their 50s and 60s that watch that tictac thang .
@@traviscarr6536 Both demographics with too much time on their hands.
@@traviscarr6536I resemble that remark, and never watched one.
@@traviscarr6536 My grandpa watches that I think everyday and he also watches other similar apps.
Referring to the MSM: "I couldn't have done it without you!" Ain't dat thre Truth!!!
The Disney kills me. Bust laughing so hard 😂
6000 years working for the same company and not even getting a Gold Watch.
Dude gets a Gold watch every year! Just the inscription is new each year. He's running out of walk in closet space.
He's self employed
@@mayowankenobiAnd after 6000 years and all the "progress" he's made, he *still* can't get himself a gold watch for his own retirement!!??!!?!?!???!!
He *really* must have created Communism! No economic acumen whatsoever.... bit like his lack of acumen when he thought, "I know! I'll kill my own Creator! What could go wrong? 🤤"
I've just answered my own question, haven't I!
🤤😅
LOL
6070 years. It was 6000 back in the 50s IIRC.
"Is RUclips satanic?"
"No! It is just awful."
He's talking about U2.
@@vd3364 which one? A spy plane or a rock band?
@@wazzup233the plane I think .. 🤔
He did say U2 _concert_
@@wazzup233,
What airplane concerts have you attended?
Bee is simply Brilliant.
"President Xi...total genius! I'm a huge admirer of his work." 😆🤣
Don't forget he also created hook-up culture, feminism, and OF. Everything for destroying relationships.
People made that. He gave us knowledge and free will and didn´t kill the whole world with a flood.
Also, my body, my choice. That's one he really loves.
Once men don’t have a wife/kids to work for the People will be defenseless.
The one that's hit me the hardest. Haha Satan you still can't hold me down boy! He sucks. He's a little wimp and once you turn to God he runs away and hides.
@@ILGuy2012It's truely despicable and breaks my heart. I wish we could all just be better educated about sex and relationships to begin with. Then help young mothers make it through when trouble does happen instead of abandoning them and encouraging abortion.
“All 6 thousand years of my career.” lol, underrated line
As if humanity started only 6 thousand years ago. lol Babylon Bee is funny but not their bible bias .. United States is like the King Theoden, in the lord of the ring, under a spell ... a very strong abrahamic spell.
Nah, whatever you believe about the age of the world, all creation was good right when Adam and Eve were created, so Satan can't have rebelled before that. ;)
@@Fryx15 people sadly don't count the war against God and satan that got him casted out of heaven which may have took millions of years since god sense of time is way different than ours + Jesus did gave us a hint that the earth was still here when satan got banished from heaven
@@DJLegends how can it have been for that long if Adam and Eve were created and all creation was good?
@@Fryx15But wasn't the serpent the devil tempting Eve in the Garden of Eden? That would mean Satan existed at that time.
Now imagine having a neuralink chip and they just pump that garbage straight into your pre-frontal cortex via wi-fi
I have and it's some scary stuff.
Satan was defeated by his own followers in the evil arena. Even he didn’t see it coming. Now Satan is out of job.
Calling out Taylor Lorenz and Keith Olbermann.🤣🤣🤣
Who are they? Also, that's not a sentence. What about it?
@@madmanonwheels5150You’re kidding !
Made me laugh
@@madmanonwheels5150Weaponised media hacks
The Babylon Bee has been killing this year so far!
Saying that this is spot on would be a monumental understatement.
“Is RUclips satanic?”
“What? Pfft, no. They’re just awful.”
Perfect delivery 👌
It could've been me, but I thought he said U2
@@hdbricks9492it was definitely U2 because he was talking about going to visit The Sphere ( which is where they’re playing in Vegas) 😅
I thought he said "RUclips" too, but no. He did say "U2", turn on the captions. What is "U2"?
@@cerebrummaximus3762 U2 is a band. I actually don't know much about them, I have only heard one of their songs.
@@cerebrummaximus3762 A band. A rock band. It was a burn.
LMAO! The Devil's retirement plan is a lake of fire for eternity!
He is right about 1 thing he’s about to be out of business
He prefers that rather than watching TicToc content for all eternity... it's less painful.
“ I couldn’t have done it without you .” Priceless !!!
He didn't take credit for Billie Eilish being a wicked, filthy, vile and Satanic idol for the youth. he really is humble. 😂😂😂
THIS IS BEYOND BRILLIANT!
The Bee is our modern day SNL.
The Bee has more truth in it than the New York Times!
The Bee is our modern day MADTV, because SNL hasn't been funny or relevant in over 25 years.
@@daowonimdee That's fair.
That Is a a stretch but I do agree SNL is not half of what It used to be.
6 billion over 5 years for our border. "A wall is a silly waste of money."
150 billion to Ukraine in one year. "DO IT, SEND IT NOW, their border is a priority!"
Some people may not be able to sense the sarcasm above, and will take it literally.
Making the world safe for big pharm and facebook
Bravo.
They should just let 5,000 Russians into Ukraine each day …..
Did it really cost USA anything though? They just sent over loads of weapons and munitions that were sitting in a warehouse. And if you just sit back and do nothing, and Russia win, they won’t stop there, and then you will have war on a much larger scale in which thousands and thousands of Americans will be killed. But, hey, let’s just think about ourselves and our “tax dollars”, eh?
The Hawaiian shirt is what really sells it
"Is U2 Satanic?"
"No, they're just awful. "
Truer words have never been said.
Honestly the devil would probably be like that in person - nice on the surface level, so that people get dragged in easier.
Exactly.
True psychopath.
there is a reason they say you enemy tells you what you want to hear, and a friend tells you what you need to hear.
Clearly lucifer was a smooth talker to get so many souls to go with him.
@@princeCustos324 What exactly are you referencing?
Satan had hundreds of thousands of years as a soul farmer, I guess you could say he’s an expert in his field!
Out standing in his field.
Right Hand Man is the Grim Reaper! Yup, definitely Farmers....
My God. Every time I read it, it gets worse but I just come back for more. This is horrible😂Like worst best dad ever! It's like perfect dad level so horrible, so cringy and yet🤦🏾♂️Shit. It's great🤣🤣🤣So so bad! It's like level all the way across the board. And then I just hear a dad voice with the little pause and the shoulder bump around "expert in his field" ehh😆 Masterful🙏🏾
Was soul farmer supposed to be deep? Holy shit.
Thank you for your service , and God bless you.
Satan actually IS in the service of God...but its not obvious at a 1st glance...fHe SEEMS to be in direct opposition to Him funny but TRUE!
@@mustangmikep51 he‘s a fallen Angel , I think he turned away from god.
This is GOLD!
I describe TikTok as a psychological/cognitive version of the "opium wars," only in reverse!
That Royal Caribbean Taylor Swift😂😂 does sound like hell indeed
So Travis Kelce is the devil? LOL
These skits are highly underrated! Dripping sarcasm….. bravo!
I swear when I went into that coma…Babylon Bee was a satire group….obviously that changed! Best source of News today ;-)
This is brilliant ,much thanks for doing this
Satan can't stand the competition.
This is hilarious.. and scary at the same time 🔥🔥
That dude plays the devil well!
You Gotta Love The Babylon bee😂😂
I always figured the bicyclists in my neighborhood were just figuratively Satan. Now I know better.
My hats off! Great Great writing guys!
How many hats do you wear, at a time?
You should do a sketch about satan`s FIRST DAY AT WORK. His learning how to be him. Maybe what happens around the water cooler. He probably had to set new lows everyday.
More original than most shows today. Good work!
He'll come out of retirement when the world needs him the most.
HE IS RUNNING FROM WOKE & THE VIEW..🎉🎉🎉🎉
The Bee is one of the best at making fun of the “leaders” of society, people or corporations, thank you.
His fall is predicted. ✨️🤣☝️🙏🥳
If you're taking up cycling "again", wouldn't that be recycling?
Drums
Why did he quit? Him & Lance Armstrong used to kill it. ☠️
I don't blame him for retirement his work is done society has officially failed 😂
“The devil…that proud spirit…cannot endure to be mocked.” Thomas More
Satan thanking journos for their support is just what got me… because it’s very accurate.
That was fabulous. Congrats Babylon bee.🤩🤩🤩
The World is getting more evil than Satan himself.
He wouldn't even get a job at the WEF, not evil enough
Satan could always retire and join “The View” or msnbc.
I love the “questions” - missing throwing Drag Queen Story Time! TOO FUNNY (and sadly true🙏)!
Great work BB....dead serious and funny as hell!😮
Evil always comes in the guise of something else. Tyranny always comes in the guise of safety, hedonism comes in the guise of being a reward or just some harmless self indulgence. Lies start as a way to "protect" people from harsh truths that they aren't able to handle. And sometimes, sure, in the beginning they may be right. Some degree of safety requires a little bit of sacrificing of freedom, some degree of pleasure can be earned for an accomplishment, and sometimes it is better to keep the truth from someone because it may be too much for them too quick, like with children or when it is an unnecessary burden..... but that's how it starts, and what the devil is, is that voice in the back of your head that keeps justifying the next step, and the next one, and the next one, inch by inch, until you've completely abandon what is right and good, and can justify it with "good intentions". We are flawed, we have contradictions throughout our society, but what keeps us on the good side is the willingness to recognize the temptation and reject it, to realize that there's a line where a little may be beneficial, but abuse is harmful. Like a glass of wine with dinner, it can help prevent heart disease, but a bottle after dinner every night can expedite it. The devil will always appear as a compassionate, charismatic figure that tempts you into evil by justifying it one step at a time.
Way too deep...............get a sense of humor and try again
Truly excellent piece!
Sometimes bullshit is just bullshit.
Nice shout outs to Taylor Lorenz & Keith Oberman 😂
You guys are the BEST!
Seems about right.
"Working closely with leaders in D.C..of both parties..."Classic!! He wasn't lying there, folks.😂. Same bird, different wings. Like the old saying goes" No matter who you vote for, the government(or satan in this case) always gets in."
I recently heard someone say “same ass different cheeks” which struck me as more accurate.
You know a comedy idea is good when just the video title makes you laugh.
Media: Is RUclips Satanic?
Satan: No. They're just awful. 😅
love these videos. Thank you!
This video is going to age like wine.
Honestly, i loved living in a universe where this was satire. Somehow we need to get onto a timeline that isn't truly the path to Hell
In God's good time. We must be patient.
@@scottyb68No, you must learn to stand up for yourself or are you seriously gonna stand by and watch evil unfold right in front of your eyes?
You don't need the Devil with social media, Disney/Marvel diarrhea and Woke Junkies.😒
I rarely comment but this was a wonderful way to start Easter weekend. Keep up the great work!
Genius work here by The Babylon Bee.
Really! I thought him and Kamala were running mates again. Maybe Corn-pop will be Secretary of Homeland Security. I heard he's a bad dude. lol
Maybe the real reason he's retiring is to pursue a career in politics.
Bee still killin it
Thank you Bee.
i don't know las vegas without satan...
C S LEWIS SCREWTAPE LETTERS !! this skit should be in the cover or fly page ! ✌✝️🛐🙏👍😁💪😊
Yes
A good follow-through to the Screwtape Letters.
You do you put a RUclips skit into a book?
Evil is called good.
Good is called evil.
People are so deceived!
The Bee. Funny and sadly spot on!
Kudos for the attention to detail in costume and makeup, especially the red contacts, the black nails, and the exquisite horns!
The red skin and eye color is optional. But you got to have a good pair of horns. The devil is simply not himself without his horns. 😁😄😂
This video is as BRILLIANT as it comes! Might be the BEST Babylon ever done so far! Wow! And, the TIMING!
Satan looked at TikTok the first time like a proud dad with a tear in his eye “that’s the most evil thing I can imagine.”
well said and done! absolutely right on!
TikTok, Chicoms, Hamas, perverted western civilization, communism, etc. etc., yeah I'd say we pretty much got this.
“Perferted”. “Civilation”. Did you just make some words up?
? What words
And Jews.
Devil: I don't watch that s**t it'll warp your mind!