I paused a couple of times because my heart actually hurt and I cried because I feel the pain as if I was there with you in that situation, even though I am having a hard time writing this and I hope I don't sound dumb. I was abused very much like that too but I got evidence and then when he tried to do the same thing to my sister I sacrificed my place in the house and went and told the police and justice was served but I was disowned by my fam. Justice will come and they will pay for what they did and also those con artists that took your money. What do they say, those of us who go through a lot in life usually get blessed the most and I believe that the reason why we come about such misfortune is so that we can carry lessons to help others and keep them from falling into the same paths. And you are doing that. Bless you and hugs.
That part where you said "the best lies are the ones that you can make come true". I have done this before, telling people I've done something before I've done it, as long as I've had the plan thought out beforehand of how I would achieve it, I've found this actually helps me to follow through with my ideas, not because I've convinced someone of something, but because I work better under pressure. The moment that I let people know that I'm not as accomplished as they believe, I lose the motivation to actually succeed in doing what I've sought out to do. It's like the fear of being caught out disappointing people makes me work that much harder to make my goals real.
when you said "one of the entp needs is to be understood." that really struck my heart. thank you for this video and for clearing up these stereotypes.
Thank you! I’m an ENTP and I have been fortunate to not be taken advantage of to the same degree but I have been slowly seeing how trusting and overly-pleasing i am. This taught me to be aware and not stay loyal to people just because they are seeking me out. Thank you for sharing this, and for this entire series.
@45:50 when you talked about entp daughters climbing out of their windows for their abusers that was me in a nutshell. I stayed with someone who sexually assaulted me and pushed it under the rug for years. I knew they was trash but I was loyal. I’m still loyal to them to some extent. Idk why I still feel loyal to my abusers. I still haven’t confronted the family member that molested me and I even saved them from dying once. Thank u for being so honest..watching you is very freeing for me especially when you did the entp vices vs virtues video. It made me remember the masks I’d wear for everyone confirming even more to me that I’m an entp not intp. Keep the vulnerability coming, it gives us all so much strength ❤️
Thank you, Chase. Ever since I started watching your videos I've been taking life a lot more seriously. I make it a point that I should be constantly seeking out knowledge from those better than me, and to be teaching those around me when I can. Sometimes I get a little worried about your well-being from how you look on some of your videos, but I find your resolve and sense of responsibility completely inspiring. Thanks for being around, and happy holidays.
Very true on the faith-based Achilles heel of the ENTP. I trust and give others the benefit of the doubt way too easily. And I can't seem to learn this lesson. All it takes is for someone to be genuinely friendly and my shields come down
"Manipulate ENTP's at your own peril!" So true, I knew an ENTP and when it came to getting even with people, he had absolutely no limits. This video is a gold mine, thanks Chase!
Hmmmm... "Getting even." Why did you use that/those term(s), instead of: "Bounce back & absolutely obliterate/smash." 🤔 (For real genuinely asking; I think/feelike you might be on to something there)
@@VivaSaludableconMarla Then, you"re either not an ENTP, &/or, you are, and you struggle with reconciling the difference between the Objective Definition, & your Subjective experience/intent. Just because Jane might not be *exploitive,* doesn't mean Jane isn't Manipulative. Think about it: Hands on Healing Arts are often termed/referred to as: "Manual Manipulative Therapy/ies." The world is full of dualities & those who spin each term either positively, or pejoratively. And, what separates Objective from Subjective, is that (to use a Real Life analogy), just because we all have nerves, doesn't mean some people don't feel cold/hot sensation(s). 😁
@@Heart.headed I am an entp. And I am also a strong intellectual contemplative who understands the definition of objectivity and subjectivity and experience and intent. I have a strong moral compass now in my old age and the wisdom to know the difference between right and wrong. I admit that in the past, my young 20s, I was wild and too free. But in my older years, I am I have reconciled with my faith and I am not manipulative. Subjectivity is feeling based. Objectivity is scientific, fact based , and reasoning clearly.
I appreciate you sharing your 'Young ENTP Fuck-up' experience so candidly, man. Even if it was years ago I know that takes courage. (added later) -> And also for sharing your other experiences, even braver and more screwed up. I'm glad you pushed through that. ENTPs UNITE!
Man I want to give you a massive hug after this episode. It can be so hard to move on from abuse and you have infinite respect from me. For me this lecture does raise a question though. Can a situation arise when an INTJ abuses an ENTP without the INTJ even realising it? If the ENTP is so prone to developing stockholm syndrome and just goes along with whatever an INTJ wants? I can safely say I haven't abused anyone but once I've got myself sorted out I will be looking for a romantic partner and now I'm somewhat scared of being a bad person to them on accident, if I go with an ENTP that is.
I was thinking the same thing. Is it ok if we are not doing it on purpose? And if not should we change our behavior so we avoid the situation entirely? Or is it enough that we are aware of it and we don't take advantage of it. Thoughts/feeling/insights?
As an ENTP i hope i may answer you the most clearly possible: if you are not doing it on purpose it’s fine. You are the designated partner of the ENTP for a reason. Just when/if bad situations arise, be aware of how much power you have over the ENTP. It may not seems like it but we are totally devoted to those we put our faith in. (Well you sure know it now) And he is so spot on on how it is easy to catch us if we feel wanted and understood. So fcking easy and we can do nearly nothing about it... But don’t change your comportement for that if you want an honest and fulfilling relationship: us ENTP fall for those « tricks » because that what we sought in life and we absolutely love that feeling of endless faith. Just be aware of it and don’t abused it. (That’s honestly not difficult). He talked about some really bad experiences here but in healthy relationships or with well placed faith it is just an amazing experience i wish to everyone. Just be a good person, that’s all.
I'm supposed to be compatible with ENFP and though we get along well, I will never trust them for the most part. (Sorry ENFP). But to answer your question, manipulation is deliberate. Accidental anything is not manipulation by default. So you're probably safe :)
Just be careful with your temper & to not fall into a victim mentality that leads you to justify being a bully... speaking from experience here. I don't know you so I'm not implying those things about you. Just something that I experienced with an INTJ.
thank you for sharing this experience with us, it must have been tough for you. but remember, it is never the child's fault that they are being sexually abused. never. but yeah I get it, the children should tell others about it, but it is never their fault. very very thorough and good content. I am happy you told them, your parents. I am happy you're being with your kids, and merry Christmas to you and yours.
I would like to add. I met an ENTP girl once and I was sooo into her. And I noticed a big spark in her. Only problem. She was 15 years younger (She was 22). And I was really unsure if it was a good idea so I didn't do anything. I mean. She was an adult but I was thinking a lot about whether it would work long term and worried I was taking advantage of "someone young" who I may not be compatible in the long run. Perhaps it would. I had a lot of internal battles in my head. "Are your thoughts and desires really wise?". I wanted her so much but was unsure if it was right so I never initiated anything. And I still have her number and she is older now...
I could not agree more with the entirety of this video. Coming from a female ENTP, I sincerely appreciate the protective nature that you have over your children, as well as the children of others. It’s unfortunate that this protective spirit stems from the worst experience humanly possible, but being optimistic, perhaps there are children that will never see the light of this kind of suffering, thanks to your passion to inform.
As a ENTP when I don't recognize in myself some atitudes I try to pay more attention on my behaviors!! Understanding what could happen always makes me more alert and let's me work on myself Thank you so much for this episode!! Keep it up 👊🏼🔥
I have been social engineered as an entp and I remember every time it happened, and when it happens I kind of ignore my logic which is weird to me , I’m all about what I think and then all of the sudden I feel like I’m being soo different my logic isn’t there anymore and then I have a wake up call and use my logic again and born all the bullshit with dragon fire (ti)
This episode right here is on the list of the most useful videos for me on this channel. I for a while till now had the idea in the back of my head that maybe I was manipulated by others using trust. I always had signs in the back of my head saying "hey, this person is trying to use you for their own gain", but now I know exactly how it's done, and I know exactly what to watch out for. Thank you C.S. Joseph. The scariest part of the sexual abuse you had (from my point of view) would be the memories and how that would affect someone (who experienced that in the past) in the now or in the future. Having every wet dream be when you were sexually abused sounds even more scary than the abuse itself. That must be terrible since you actually did go through that. Though when something terrible happens, I prefer to look at the silver lining and say to myself "how will this negative experience positively affect my future?" (I am aware you already have this growth mindset). With scarring wet dreams like that though, it must've been really hard to get yourself to look at the silver lining instead of the scars left by the storm.
I think it is incredibly courageous of you to share your trauma. Your story will inspire others to do the same because we have to let these things out, in order to heal and not forever mired in shame that’s never been ours to carry
As a person who has gone through this type of abuse at the same age as you and also and still is dealing with stockholm syndrome, that part was hard for me to watch. You are so brave to share this. Thank you. -ISTP Regarding the dreams, I have the same thing and I feel like it really screwed over my sexuality.
You are definitely wanted. You open up, so do I. I’m embarrassed to admit what you describe is partly how and why I feel attracted to you. The other part is that you are a genius and have taught me a lot! Thank goodness this is virtual. I would try and behave in any given scenario anyway... I’m sorry for all the pain and confrontation your experience implied in your life. Thank you for everything. INTJ.
Your best social engineering video yet! Please please write a detailed book someday about all this. Your Ti, or original thoughts, is even better than your Te, or sources.
@@giftzwerg7345 I think most of CSJs type stuff has been revealed to be the mumblings of a man who's not got a good grip on reality. I'd be wary of taking any advice from this dude. The only redeemable information is that which is derived from Beebe and even then there are better more developed sources out there.
I very much appreciate your candidness during this video. I am super proud of anyone who can move past abuse and not let the abuse define them as a victim--and speak out about the abuse so that others can learn, heal, get out of their abusive situation, etc. Of course, I would never judge someone for keeping things private but I'm of the mindset that complete silence can often only do more harm than good. Yeah, Stockholm Syndrome is absolutely a real thing; and now I understand why. This was very enlightening and I'm highly impressed with your knowledge, your goal, and your authenticity. Thanks for sharing. Okay I actually need to add to this comment: when I was in 2nd grade, a stranger came into our school and exposed himself to me in the bathroom. I tell people about this fairly often bc a. I want parents to understand the dangers. b. I want others to know they're not alone. c. I want people to understand that the guilt and the shame don't belong to them, even though it def feels that way at times. I didn't tell my mom, bc I wanted to spare her (I was 7 and didn't realize that my teacher would call my mom after school--actually that's weird...why didn't they have my mom come pick me up? I rode the bus home. It was the early 80s I suppose that's why). Anyway, understanding nature and nuture has helped me understand why I reacted to a tramautic event in the manner I did in the following weeks, months and years (I'm still afraid of public restrooms a lot of the time). And yet...I feel empathy for the person who scared me so and had ill intentions--I'm quite sure he was probably abused himself. And to this day, I harbor a seething and righteous rage toward child molesters. Listening to your story, I wanted to enact justice on your behalf. You're a good, brave human and a stand-up guy. I appreciate everything you've done and are doing for this audience.
I'm always happy when you post, but the video makes me feel so sad that you went through that. Before I watched the video I posted a comment that said " This is the best Christmas present ever." But I removed it because it felt wrong in the context of the content in this video. I hope you feel better mentally and physically. With Love, Jessica
I think this is why my ENTP brother still loves my parents even though we were definitely abused as children. He more so than me as he was more outspoken and "edgy.". My Si child remembers things more clearly. That Ti-Si loop...Thank you for sharing your story, Chase.
Great video. It’s fascinating seeing how I’m so unaware. Especially the part about shame not being a factor unless it’s blatant but there’s more of a focus on guilt. I have this saying “morality is reciprocal” A great way to persuade me is to feel a sense of obligation. I will definitely be getting that Benjamin Franklin autobiography btw. Thanks great work.
@@penta4568 I, too, was waiting for this but as you know since you're an ENTP, talking about ourselves so deeply makes us pretty vulnerable. Thats why relationship works to a certain degree. Once our trust is gained and earned, we stay completely loyal to the livelihood of this person or thing even if we don't want to anymore. I find myself weaving in and out of thoughts each time I reflect on all of my decisions in life. Then I put that in the back of my mind and just think of other things to keep busy. I think thats our best trait: we can multitask on so many levels and still act so nonchalant regardless of the stress in our lives. We are talented individuals for sure haha
Hey, I just want to say that I think you’re great. You overcame so much, and have become pretty amazing. You’re one of the few people who have ever said anything that surprised or taught me anything. Keep being awesome! ❤️
I'm ENTP and its really weird because I can tell when someone is being fake and also am good at telling when someone is trying to manipulate me. However I am at the same time really gullible and trusting and its because I regard being trustworthy to them super important and so always assume everyone is like me and treat me the same way.
Merry Christmas! From one ENTP to another, I feel this on so many levels! Thank you for opening up and being raw with us! Your channel has changed my life! 🙌🏽
Spot on. I was loyal to an ex (covert narcissist) and his ex gf who turned best friend (malignant narcissist). Total Stockholm syndrome. After the relationship, I was able to find out what they were, it was like I found the holy grail but no one else could see my discovery, how frustrating. Very embarrassing. Especially since I've judged friends in the past for staying in abusive relationships. Like great job using your logic *finger guns*
As a ENTP, I have always loved the Riddler, I like to ask questions that possibly mislead people into saying things that they most likely did not want to.
Thank you for sharing this, it really pisses me off hearing what you went through. Also, much thanks for helping me understand and improving the relationship with my ENTP father, as I am an ISFJ. You made me realize how much I look up to him, and use him as an example to improve myself, and how much I can learn from him, as he is my subconscious. I'll try to emulate INTJ more to make him feel valued and wanted, and to make sure he knows I'm glad that he is my dad.
I'm around your age and an INFJ. I have a sweet baby son who is an ENTP. Everything you just said is terrifying and I'm sorry you had to endure that. I hope I can do my best to be a safe space for my son to tell me the truth about himself and accept him. When I got him I got a set of tiger stripes, and I learned just how far I was prepared to go to fight for and with him. I wish you every strength and thriving for your own fight.
awesome, just do not force your son to do the right thing because your interpretation of what the right thing is will not be his. Let him do things independently and not interdependently. I wish I had that in my upbringing.
@@CSJoseph Word to that. I'l learning more and more the only control he'll accept is to be master of his own self control. Ultimately that's exactly what he should have anyway. Rushing around after him putting out cognitive fires is only going to weigh him down and make him unable to access his masculinity. But his journey will have to be one of limit breaking on that control. Self Mastery, isn't that the big journey for everyone?
C.S Joseph. Will you in future make a video about how to type someone based on their facial expresions and body language. Based on their appearance the way they dress etc. Anything that has to do with the way they look and sound and talk. I know that eyes are a very important factor at typing someone.
Hey Bro I've never seen your channel before but I clicked on your video as I am an ENTP myself. My heart broke (as much as my ENTP heart can) when you told your story about being manipulated by the church. I'm a Christian myself and I've always been wary of preachers when they talk about giving because I know I'm susceptible to giving in. So hearing your story struck with me because that could easily be me. However I hope that story hasn't turned you away from god completely, as he is still very real and wants a deep relationship with you. Horrible story and absolutely brilliant video. I really appreciate your openness
Three things. I wasn't really expecting this type of lecture -- but I think it touched a number of points (and not just your experience with being molested). First (and not to theorize the situation), I think it is important that people understand that any type of abuse (especially in the case of molestation) is about power. Oftentimes, when people think about abuse whether in the form of incest or rape, they focus on what they see as sexual deviance. But as you had revealed later on in your experience when one of the culprits went out of his way to destroy your reputation, it was mostly about control through manipulation. That is why I think that the laws against Statutory rape are important -- and not just because of Stockholm Syndrome. Oftentimes, people who engage in such relationships with those 17 and younger claim to do so out of fondness. However, when entering relationships, usually both people are almost as vulnerable as much as they have control. So, when one person has more life experience than the other person, they are not only more likely to have more control (and less vulnerability), they have more development of their parent and inferior functions and hence are less likely to feel insecure over that child or teen who hasn't fully developed the parent function which is more pessimistic. Moreover, based on your story and others, I see this pattern of abuse likely occurring in Fe oriented households (not that other households are not vulnerable) because of the reputation of the family as a whole as being fundamentally important even when compared to the individual needs of everyone in the family. To be more specific (without becoming long-winded), I find that if people say the right things in the right manner and behave accordingly in the appropriate manner, they can attain buy-in when it comes to the patriarch and matriarch. Yet, just because a person knows how to 'jump' through all of the right hoops does not mean he/she has the best of intentions. It is common and ironic at the same time that such adults will often double down by sheltering their own children by telling them to not talk to strangers, respect authority, and disparage any hormonal impulse they (the children) may have. Yet, they unwittingly invite such people into their lives. Although this seems to occur mostly with extended and immediate family (as the culprits) versus family friends, it is still the same concept, but just in parallel. That parallel is the notion that relatives and blood-related members are entitled to such gratuities because of endurance, supposed loyalty, and in some cases, supposed sacrifice tied to their reputation. However, when you look closely, they are quite ordinary and the respectability they have is either more of an illusion or an idealization of who they are as people. Lastly, I think you are the first person to mention that it is 'simple' to emulate an INTJ. Most other people focus on the fact that INTJs are strategy oriented while other focus on the lack of outward expression of feeling. I have mostly maintained that I am pretty much simple in terms of what I want and what I desire. However, my life path thus far has somewhat been convoluted in terms of the means of getting those things. To me, I have mostly taken it for granted that everyone usually goes after what they want, because "after all, who doesn't go after what they want?". However, I am just now appreciating that this is not the case; not when we live in an SJ society that tells us what we should do (despite asking kids what they want to be when they grow up) and with another portion of the population that does not know what they want. Because of this, I think my experience as a child has been very much different because although at times naive, my nature wouldn't allow me to overlook the flaws of adults or even care about such validation. However, I could see myself falling into a similar trap if someone was to offer me an opportunity at such a young age that those in my circle weren't willing to offer me.
Chase thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m also a sexual abuse and childhood abuse survivor and I deeply emphasised with you. Remember that the abuse is NEVER the child’s fault. I also have that toxic shame, where I feel ashamed of what happened to me but I’ve learned that this is simply from a false sense of control; thinking we could have stopped it somehow, but we couldnt because we didn’t know any better. After all, we were groomed for it. I’m still not sure if I’m intj or infj, but in my experience, I didn’t even realise what abuse was until much older, and I also developed dissociation and dissociative amnesia which blocked my memories for decades (hmm si inferior or si demon?) then they came out and I was so scared when I realised what my memories really were about. Anyways, just wanted to tell you I wish we were friends IRL because ENTPs are the ones that have been so consistent and caring in my life and I have DEEP respect for them and love them very much. You are SO smart and awesome. Thanks for doing this work, it’s amazing. You’re the dopest! :)
Hi, just want to say that I've been watching you for a few weeks now and that you really inspire me. I really want to learn more and be able to understand others. Your channel has changed my life and shaped the way in how I view other people. I hope you never stop making good content and educating others. :)
Wow this video is going to save someone from abuse ! I’m learning so much so grateful to have stumbled on this sorry I keep coming back commenting I’m taking notes .
I was wondering why Fe relates to guilt while Fi to shame... It makes more sense for the reverse to be true as guilt is the fear of not able to accept yourself by youself(introverted) whereas shame in general is fear of unable to be accepted by others(extroverted)
Guilt comes from your thinking (Ti) you're a bad person based on how you acted upon the values of others (Fe), while shame is from others thinking (Te) you're a bad person relative to how you value yourself (Fi).
Wow, your story or rather your honesty literally broke my heart 💔 I hope I can once get over my own one (it's less 'dramatic'), knowing about Si-inferior attached to Stockholm helps
Every type is mostly manipulated with fe so this was a very good video for others to learn from. People praise you and compliment you and the types put faith in them cuz they were made to feel good and that's all it takes. Every type gets taken advantage of this way but not so much the ne because they usually have strong distrust in everyone. Lots of porn stars get this high of finally being wanted so they give in to the porn industry, wanting to be loved is evil. Even if the type is not si inferior they are still loyal to what corrupted them. Women go through this a lot after their corrupter installs their lust in them so they can chase their corrupter and they don't have to be si inferior but is all about the individual too not just the type. Is how illuminati works.
About giving money (the church part). I believe when you give with your heart, it will be given back to you. It may not be right away (it hardly ever is right away), but usually comes right before you break.
This cleared up so much about my own life!!!!! Thank you so much, you are a genius:)) My parents were my abusers. Emotional abusers. This makes so much sense now and I realize now why my siblings weren’t affected the way I was. I felt stupid all my life until about 8 months ago. It’s insane how entp can be so smart, but be so blind when put into this type of situation! The vengence and vindictive part you talk about is so true, too. I can’t even express the anger I felt when this image of my parents came crashing down.
This brought back bad experiences from my ex boyfriend who is an Esfp. I am against extramarital sex but I am always manipulated to have sex because I am so loyal to him and it was a long term relationship. Even though the guilt almost killed me. I still defendent him and blame myself. This made me cry. (INTP)
You have no idea how much this video has expanded on all the little building blocks I've been putting together in my mind for a long time now. My dad is an ENTP and I'm ISFJ. I've struggled all my life and continue to struggle with having the kind of relationship I feel I need with my father... and as he gets older I feel incredible pain at the realization that he will die one day and I'll never have developed that bond with him that I've always wanted. All I'm left with is this compulsive need to try to understand the truth about him and about everyone and everything in my life. I guess that's me trying to compensate for what I cannot get, by at least trying to understand why I cannot get it. Your video along with my constant search through various sources is/are helping me to put together pieces of this endless puzzle I'm working on with regard to understanding significant people and relationships in my life. SO MUCH of what you've said here maps my father's personality and behavior with incredible accuracy. I'm constantly torn between feeling pity/compassion for him because of his past and present struggles, and then feeling anger/frustration toward him because he can't be the type of person I can connect with the way I want to and need to. Not that I would try to use this social engineering strategy to try to achieve this bond with him in such a way because it would feel deceitful/dishonest to me and not in line with the authentic and genuine way I need it to be so it can feel real and valuable to me... Anyway, thank you for the videos and thank you for sharing all of this, along with the very personal and vulnerable subjects of your childhood abuse and experience with being conned. It is very brave of you and I commend you for it and for being so open and honest... and also for all the personal work you've done and continue to do to understand, recognize, grow and overcome. I'm very sorry that those terrible things happened to you and hope that someday you can completely move past them and the guilt and shame associated with them. ❤️
Thank you for this video. Self reconstruction always starts with being able to face the truth about our deepest wounds. Not something so popular in our quick solutions and superficial culture. You are a very brave man and I hope you will be able to, one day, forgive yourself (first of all) and others. We're only humans after all. I grew up in a Christian Evangelical family, and I just hate that "magic quick Jesus forgive and forget" speech. Easy given feelings = Cheap untrue forgiveness... C'mon, let's cut the crap here. Anyway. I am starving for deep spiritual meaning and real wisdom philosophy like Jesus brought to humanity. Take care!
So so so true about the 'flee->double back->fuck you up later' mentality! Lol, that's just good tactics in my book. Note: As a (hopefully) more mature ENTP I try to avoid grudges and revenge thought, because it's so consuming and energetically not worth it usually...but the temptation is always there.
This explains my entire existence XD I’ve saved this video, so that I can show it to that one person that I’ll one day care about enough. Because of two reasons, 1. The fact that ENTP‘s usually don’t care about other people, but the second someone understands these ways of; dealing with ENTP’s and figuring out how to have them by your side… it can be dangerous for both the ENTP and the person “social engineering” them. Because like you said, if it doesn’t last, the ENTP is going to make life hell for them. If I will ever come to a point of caring so much about a person, even with the realization that by showing them this video I essentially care about them even when they’ve failed “social engineering” me. (And to be honest, it’ll probably happen a few times because I’ll think I care, and I’ll feel like I can give my all to a person just because they WANT me but that’s not the point) I’d want to show them this video so that they know how to not hurt me and themselves. Anyways yeah, that’s one reason. 2. The fact that it is so well explained, and filled with the truth and the tiny nuances behind it… which, I find, is not something you can easily find on RUclips. So yeah, thanks.
Enlightening, much closure; other ENTPs have also had their “naivety” preyed upon as a child. I had a similar experience, with other kids grooming me and using me as the ringleader for their “Closet Games” lol. But I kept on taking the blame for them, hmm #entp@Stockholm A question though; after the abuse began, and finally was brought to light, did you engage in social isolation to prevent being taken advantage of again? It seems not though, which is why I ask. I just stockpiled my Hall of Faces (#GOT) and used it as the blocks of my Fortress of Solitude. In any case, much thanks. I greatly look forward to the A grade content you provide. 👍
First video I've ever seen of yours. Some heavy topics. Speaking as someone with a similiar experience, I'm glad you're working through your experiences. It seems like you've got a very supportive community here. Thanks for sharing. -ENTP
I'm glad you were lucky to get away mentally and physically... I have been in this situation (less harsh in comparison) and still haven't dealt with the confronts. But i do value you and your advice and openness. Others who conquer others is strong. The person that conquers themselves is powerful. You're power is great
CSJ thank you. As an ENTP I can relate. The faith and loyalty of an ENTP is without equal - it is particularly heinous therefore to use or waste that faith. Maybe this is why I have such an intense sense of ethics. Your work is really insightful and honest. Thank you 🙏🏼
And finally you came back with an incredible lecture I knew it It's not easy to talk about it , I know it takes ALOT of courage to stand up and speak I really appreciate that I wanna say sth to you that you are actually a strong person ( I am not saying nice words to cheer u up) but I can't imagine how you get all through this sexual abuse, divorce, homeless and you come back to inspire us after all that whether lectures are about you or.not and you want society to learn sth.. WOW amazing, I am really surprised and proud of you in the same time I hope you could find someone deserve your loyalty and caring and FYI every time I see your lectures I feel it I feel your pure spirit inside you and f*** who will say that you are insincere or emotionless or weak person they won't handle anything you had been through and last word, if you still couldn't find that one who deserve u, you can talk here we are here for you and it's not only your content , it's about you for who you are ❤
Watched this video again today, and I now have a much deeper understanding about ENTPs. I realize that I'm literally witnessing an ENTP developing Stockholm Syndrome, being loyal to its manipulators, and defending them by white-knighting for them. Unfortunately, people's psyches don't change, so this sacrificing won't end well. I'm really happy for you that you are able to break the Stockholm Syndrome. I can imagine how much pain you've been through. Yeah, that's how we gain maturity, isn't it? I wish that ENTP can pass this painful stage soon. Thank you for everything, Chase!
This is fair. However, know that time must go by for the ENTP to finally break away from said manipulators so that the ENTP can leave knowing they have done their duty.
When the video started i thought 'that would be fun, a lecture in your car, such an intimate mood', but turns out to be so dark... I'm truly sorry for your experience :( what you've been doing in this channel is so valuable, sharing all those knowledge with us, and now bring such a personal story not only for the purpose of this lecture but also to make us aware ... you're an amazing person!! Thank you thank you so much!!
I used to watch my entp friend wear all those hats for different people back in high school, and at the time I couldn't understand it; it seemed exhausting and borderline insincere. But, there was a draw to being valued by those people, even when she would sometimes express dissatisfaction with the one-sided nature of those relationships. I didn't get it back then but it makes more sense after watching this.
Ive been watching and listening to your videos for months now. And finally understood my personality type. When it finally hit I cannot grasp it. It's like your whole belief system is now questionable. When you talk about the Si (blindspot) when I think about it I feel like it was from my belief to love my neighbor as i love myself plus the do unto others what you would want to do unto you. Ive wasted a lot of years and resources because of this blindspot. Anyhow, would like to thank you for your hardwork and courage. You are opening a lot of people's eyes. God bless!
this video was brutal. I can relate too much. Thanks for sharing and helping me understand the stuff that's happened to me as well. This is literally the 1st time in life I've been able to, thanks to your honesty. I want to add that Ne is, to me, in part seduced by "transgressing boundaries" because of the attraction to boundless experiences/endless potential. So especially when one is young and inexperienced it is easy to see how an icky person can get one to buy into a sick, predatory system mega Respect sent your way, sir
jeepers dude! you’ve been through a lot and this is really giving me the vibe that maybe my ENTP consort has been through a similar experience. also sorry about what you went through in terms of church experience. am praying for your healing all round 🙏
Watching as an INTJ. Update: this has been very accurate with my experience with an entp I am with (without me actively trying to manipulate them was just being myself)
Dude, you're so fucking strong! I've known your channel and videos for a long time but now, watching this video and listening to the abuse you lived.. like, I wouldn't even imagine that this kind of thing happened to you. I'm shocked. I wish I could give you a hug. Keep doing your awesome job and changing people's lives with your sincerity and knowledge. Peace ❤️
I'm here because a teacher of mine is an ENTP and I want to know how to best communicate with them so they can feel comfortable being themselves, being frank with me, and I can make them feel appreciated and acknowledged. They are very good at what they do and I want the best experience and I think that if I understand how best to communicate with them, we will both thrive. I am NOT INTERESTED in putting one over on ANYONE. Thank you for your gift. I want to bear hug you.
I never believed you when you said you were homeless,but seeing you in your car,with a torch,working, on Christmas Day?!? Like it’s nothing at all. Yeah you were homeless. Stay safe man.
So basically, to manipulate an ENTP, as an actual INTJ, just be honest and tell them how much you ACTUALLY want them for the purpose of your goal and make them comfertable with it. Then tell them how much you value their Ti thinking, *while you, of course, make full use of it,* and always make sure you DONT overdo it and that they also get something out of it every time so you dont have to make them go COMPLETELY against their own interests to help you, so that they dont start feeling insecure about being manipulated and will remain loyal. The way I see it, as long as your honest about your use of them (as an actual INTJ and not an emulated one) and make sure not to over do it, they will remain loyal to you because they have no reason to feel insecure if you dont flaunt it like it's a bad thing for them. For example: If I wanted to social engineer Mr. CS Joseph into making season 19 available for free, I should tell him how much I want it (which is a damn hell of a lot) and how much I value the wisdom he would be granting me through it. BUT I must also make sure to suggest a way in which he could make it available without going against his own interests so that I don't have to deal with his revenge ever, or have to struggle as much with the social engineering, as it would be mutually beneficial. For example, I could suggest a system that could make individual episodes available through the power of adds but only for a limited time, like for 1 day. Thus, (in this completely theoretical system) if we make you enough money on your website overtime, through viewing adds, clicking on links and downloading apps, we could possibly get limited time access to an episode, *without* you having to get *nothing* for it. MAYBE a sort of credits systems, where credits are awarded for making you money through viewing said adds and interacting with them and over a long period of time we would be able to build up enough credits to, idk, potentially buy access to an episode for 1 day??? Who knows! 🤷♂️ That way there would still be incentive to get memberships instead because it would take a hell of a lot if effort to build up credits and even if you DO get enough it would only buy you limited time access. Or something simular to that, I'm not sure how advertising works and how hard it is to attract advertisers so maybe the system could. Maybe credits could also be built up through watching other available videos or introducing more people to your content? But of course... 😌 That's JUUUST an example and I meant ABSOLUTELY nothing by it! 🧐 It's not like I'm suggesting that you ACTUALLY do something like that or anything... 🤥 Although I have to admit, that would be kinda cool...
I remembered my wife was watching your videos a few years ago so I am watching them also. I am an ENTP... She activated my shadow. Fortunately my shadow seemed to have reconized what was happening and was super reactive to her manipulation. Also was protecting my future and sent her away before I fully understood what was happening and went rage mode. She put herself in so much danger... I wonder of it was worth it. I traumatized myself with my behaviour... Really... Heed the warning... Don't do this.. ENTPs in shadow mode is dark.
I have been thinking for a day now about what you are saying, and I think there is one important thing to add: As adults, we have to tell ourselves every day that it is both our right and our obligation to make sure that others do no harm to us. We must not delegate that responsibility, as delegating will not work. Of course, there are often other people caring about us, but most of the time one will be able to see that only in retrospect, since attention and care in the moment often feel similar. On the contrary, as a child, it is _others'_ responsibility to care about and protect the child. I suspect that, somewhat paradoxically, many people who have made the experience of having been badly protected as a child, or being forced into trades such as the one you describe to get what they required emotionally, struggle with protecting themselves as an adult, and have a hard and difficult time learning how to do that, and too often forget about it.
That's one of the greatest and the most insightful lectures ever That's so brave of you and I really appreciate you for doing all of these = ) now I'm gonna understand my little brother and protect him more =))
Came here to learn how to social engineer my dad, because he's so annoying with his debates that seem so believable to other ppl in the room while I obviously see how they make no sense, but others believe him everytime and they make me look like the illogical one because I am an introvert and ppl perceive me as a mean and less reliable person while I am not.
I’m almost 30 and it’s taken me till now to break out of this “Stockholm syndrome” and the “codependency” with my abuser too. :( I understand. You just opened my eyes as to why this has happened to me for so long. This is by far the most relevant video I’ve ever watched regarding my past abuse. I’m so glad I watched this. I get it now. Don’t you think this personality trait better matches Harley Quinn more than the joker? I’m not obsessed w that couple but I keep reading how the joker is an entp... but this Stockholm syndrome bit feels more Harley Quinn than joker. On a final note, that last bit, is so true.
Q:How do I manipulate a master manipulator?
A:Just be real nice to them, works every time.
Abrasively nice*
lol I guess I've been manipulating an ENTP that's trying to manipulate me without knowing
its true tho, every single time I've felt for someone it was because they were pretending to like my real self
Big Dawg 😔
Sheldon Sawyer funny how true this is. We are just looking for someone who is abrasive enough to trust and likes us how we are. 😔
You are extremely brave to share all this. Thank you.
i know right? that's why i admire him
Yeah, this would take some steel. Kudos.
I paused a couple of times because my heart actually hurt and I cried because I feel the pain as if I was there with you in that situation, even though I am having a hard time writing this and I hope I don't sound dumb. I was abused very much like that too but I got evidence and then when he tried to do the same thing to my sister I sacrificed my place in the house and went and told the police and justice was served but I was disowned by my fam. Justice will come and they will pay for what they did and also those con artists that took your money. What do they say, those of us who go through a lot in life usually get blessed the most and I believe that the reason why we come about such misfortune is so that we can carry lessons to help others and keep them from falling into the same paths. And you are doing that. Bless you and hugs.
thanks
My experience exactly. The way you talked about how it messed with your head. Thank you for sharing your story. It will help a lot of people.
That part where you said "the best lies are the ones that you can make come true". I have done this before, telling people I've done something before I've done it, as long as I've had the plan thought out beforehand of how I would achieve it, I've found this actually helps me to follow through with my ideas, not because I've convinced someone of something, but because I work better under pressure. The moment that I let people know that I'm not as accomplished as they believe, I lose the motivation to actually succeed in doing what I've sought out to do. It's like the fear of being caught out disappointing people makes me work that much harder to make my goals real.
when you said "one of the entp needs is to be understood." that really struck my heart. thank you for this video and for clearing up these stereotypes.
Thank you! I’m an ENTP and I have been fortunate to not be taken advantage of to the same degree but I have been slowly seeing how trusting and overly-pleasing i am. This taught me to be aware and not stay loyal to people just because they are seeking me out. Thank you for sharing this, and for this entire series.
Absolutely brutal episode.
Good on you for warning others to the dangers you have already faced!
@45:50 when you talked about entp daughters climbing out of their windows for their abusers that was me in a nutshell. I stayed with someone who sexually assaulted me and pushed it under the rug for years. I knew they was trash but I was loyal. I’m still loyal to them to some extent. Idk why I still feel loyal to my abusers. I still haven’t confronted the family member that molested me and I even saved them from dying once. Thank u for being so honest..watching you is very freeing for me especially when you did the entp vices vs virtues video. It made me remember the masks I’d wear for everyone confirming even more to me that I’m an entp not intp. Keep the vulnerability coming, it gives us all so much strength ❤️
Thank you, Chase. Ever since I started watching your videos I've been taking life a lot more seriously. I make it a point that I should be constantly seeking out knowledge from those better than me, and to be teaching those around me when I can. Sometimes I get a little worried about your well-being from how you look on some of your videos, but I find your resolve and sense of responsibility completely inspiring. Thanks for being around, and happy holidays.
much appreciated
Very true on the faith-based Achilles heel of the ENTP. I trust and give others the benefit of the doubt way too easily. And I can't seem to learn this lesson. All it takes is for someone to be genuinely friendly and my shields come down
Wow, the respect I have for you now is unmeasurable. 🙏🏻 I have a ENTP dad and sister. This explained a lot.
"Manipulate ENTP's at your own peril!" So true, I knew an ENTP and when it came to getting even with people, he had absolutely no limits. This video is a gold mine, thanks Chase!
You nailed that. This ENTP has a to do list for evening things out.
I don't manipulate and I'm an entp. People who manipulate have a moral problem
Hmmmm...
"Getting even." Why did you use that/those term(s), instead of: "Bounce back & absolutely obliterate/smash." 🤔
(For real genuinely asking; I think/feelike you might be on to something there)
@@VivaSaludableconMarla
Then, you"re either not an ENTP, &/or, you are, and you struggle with reconciling the difference between the Objective Definition, & your Subjective experience/intent.
Just because Jane might not be *exploitive,* doesn't mean Jane isn't Manipulative.
Think about it: Hands on Healing Arts are often termed/referred to as: "Manual Manipulative Therapy/ies."
The world is full of dualities & those who spin each term either positively, or pejoratively. And, what separates Objective from Subjective, is that (to use a Real Life analogy), just because we all have nerves, doesn't mean some people don't feel cold/hot sensation(s). 😁
@@Heart.headed I am an entp. And I am also a strong intellectual contemplative who understands the definition of objectivity and subjectivity and experience and intent. I have a strong moral compass now in my old age and the wisdom to know the difference between right and wrong. I admit that in the past, my young 20s, I was wild and too free. But in my older years, I am I have reconciled with my faith and I am not manipulative. Subjectivity is feeling based. Objectivity is scientific, fact based , and reasoning clearly.
Hard times create heroes and you're a hero. Feel the best of yourself, you're a brave and splendid person!
I wish I can give you a hug here❤️❤️
Finally! I have been waiting for this one for ages. Literally feels like a Christmas present 😆
How to social engineer C.S. Joseph. :P
yes
@@CSJoseph Coming from another ENTP - I totally get that. Thanks to that video, I escaped that. Thank you.
I appreciate you sharing your 'Young ENTP Fuck-up' experience so candidly, man. Even if it was years ago I know that takes courage. (added later) -> And also for sharing your other experiences, even braver and more screwed up. I'm glad you pushed through that. ENTPs UNITE!
CSJ, you're a legend. Wishing you peace of mind and spirit through any hardship in your life right now. Keep it up and you will reach your vision.
teared up when you mentioned the abuse. im sorry. also, your perspective on INTJ's is interesting, i was definitely "love bombed" by one.
Man I want to give you a massive hug after this episode. It can be so hard to move on from abuse and you have infinite respect from me. For me this lecture does raise a question though. Can a situation arise when an INTJ abuses an ENTP without the INTJ even realising it? If the ENTP is so prone to developing stockholm syndrome and just goes along with whatever an INTJ wants? I can safely say I haven't abused anyone but once I've got myself sorted out I will be looking for a romantic partner and now I'm somewhat scared of being a bad person to them on accident, if I go with an ENTP that is.
I was thinking the same thing. Is it ok if we are not doing it on purpose? And if not should we change our behavior so we avoid the situation entirely? Or is it enough that we are aware of it and we don't take advantage of it. Thoughts/feeling/insights?
As an ENTP i hope i may answer you the most clearly possible: if you are not doing it on purpose it’s fine.
You are the designated partner of the ENTP for a reason.
Just when/if bad situations arise, be aware of how much power you have over the ENTP. It may not seems like it but we are totally devoted to those we put our faith in. (Well you sure know it now) And he is so spot on on how it is easy to catch us if we feel wanted and understood. So fcking easy and we can do nearly nothing about it...
But don’t change your comportement for that if you want an honest and fulfilling relationship: us ENTP fall for those « tricks » because that what we sought in life and we absolutely love that feeling of endless faith. Just be aware of it and don’t abused it.
(That’s honestly not difficult). He talked about some really bad experiences here but in healthy relationships or with well placed faith it is just an amazing experience i wish to everyone.
Just be a good person, that’s all.
I'm supposed to be compatible with ENFP and though we get along well, I will never trust them for the most part. (Sorry ENFP). But to answer your question, manipulation is deliberate. Accidental anything is not manipulation by default. So you're probably safe :)
Just be careful with your temper & to not fall into a victim mentality that leads you to justify being a bully... speaking from experience here. I don't know you so I'm not implying those things about you. Just something that I experienced with an INTJ.
thank you for sharing this experience with us, it must have been tough for you. but remember, it is never the child's fault that they are being sexually abused. never. but yeah I get it, the children should tell others about it, but it is never their fault. very very thorough and good content. I am happy you told them, your parents. I am happy you're being with your kids, and merry Christmas to you and yours.
Thank you so much for sharing something so personal. It takes a lot of strength to talk about things that must have been so scarring.
I am really glad you shared this. I feel such a big responsibility towards ENTPs (and ENFPs) I know.
/INTJ
I would like to add. I met an ENTP girl once and I was sooo into her.
And I noticed a big spark in her.
Only problem. She was 15 years younger (She was 22). And I was really unsure if it was a good idea so I didn't do anything.
I mean. She was an adult but I was thinking a lot about whether it would work long term and worried I was taking advantage of "someone young" who I may not be compatible in the long run. Perhaps it would. I had a lot of internal battles in my head.
"Are your thoughts and desires really wise?". I wanted her so much but was unsure if it was right so I never initiated anything.
And I still have her number and she is older now...
@@Sniegel Italian
@@Sniegel Why not try asking her out
I could not agree more with the entirety of this video. Coming from a female ENTP, I sincerely appreciate the protective nature that you have over your children, as well as the children of others. It’s unfortunate that this protective spirit stems from the worst experience humanly possible, but being optimistic, perhaps there are children that will never see the light of this kind of suffering, thanks to your passion to inform.
Does this work on you too? Like arnt femailes just mutch more distrusting towards men wanting them? Coz it happens do mutch?
ugh chase my heart really broke with this one. thank you for sharing so much of your life with us and giving us your time and wisdom. 💕
As a ENTP when I don't recognize in myself some atitudes I try to pay more attention on my behaviors!!
Understanding what could happen always makes me more alert and let's me work on myself
Thank you so much for this episode!! Keep it up 👊🏼🔥
It's so good to have you back!! You are SO brave... This is so heartbreaking... but you're going to help people with this for sure. 💚
I have been social engineered as an entp and I remember every time it happened, and when it happens I kind of ignore my logic which is weird to me , I’m all about what I think and then all of the sudden I feel like I’m being soo different my logic isn’t there anymore and then I have a wake up call and use my logic again and born all the bullshit with dragon fire (ti)
This episode right here is on the list of the most useful videos for me on this channel.
I for a while till now had the idea in the back of my head that maybe I was manipulated by others using trust. I always had signs in the back of my head saying "hey, this person is trying to use you for their own gain", but now I know exactly how it's done, and I know exactly what to watch out for. Thank you C.S. Joseph.
The scariest part of the sexual abuse you had (from my point of view) would be the memories and how that would affect someone (who experienced that in the past) in the now or in the future. Having every wet dream be when you were sexually abused sounds even more scary than the abuse itself. That must be terrible since you actually did go through that.
Though when something terrible happens, I prefer to look at the silver lining and say to myself "how will this negative experience positively affect my future?" (I am aware you already have this growth mindset). With scarring wet dreams like that though, it must've been really hard to get yourself to look at the silver lining instead of the scars left by the storm.
well said. too bad I can't see on evewho which corp or alliance you are in. I am Lazuli Loto in game
@@CSJoseph my eve user is LOLEPiC 243 and im in Fweddit (yes, we shitpost a lot)
I play eve to PvP, solo/smallgang to be specific.
Thank you for sharing your very personal and painful stories here, it will help give others freedom to heal as well.
I think it is incredibly courageous of you to share your trauma. Your story will inspire others to do the same because we have to let these things out, in order to heal and not forever mired in shame that’s never been ours to carry
much appreciated
As a person who has gone through this type of abuse at the same age as you and also and still is dealing with stockholm syndrome, that part was hard for me to watch. You are so brave to share this. Thank you. -ISTP
Regarding the dreams, I have the same thing and I feel like it really screwed over my sexuality.
You are definitely wanted. You open up, so do I. I’m embarrassed to admit what you describe is partly how and why I feel attracted to you. The other part is that you are a genius and have taught me a lot! Thank goodness this is virtual. I would try and behave in any given scenario anyway... I’m sorry for all the pain and confrontation your experience implied in your life. Thank you for everything. INTJ.
you are most welcome
@@CSJoseph watch out, he's trying to manipulate you ;)
Your best social engineering video yet! Please please write a detailed book someday about all this. Your Ti, or original thoughts, is even better than your Te, or sources.
You really bought into all this? LOL
@@wearejungians what do you mean?
@@giftzwerg7345 I think most of CSJs type stuff has been revealed to be the mumblings of a man who's not got a good grip on reality. I'd be wary of taking any advice from this dude. The only redeemable information is that which is derived from Beebe and even then there are better more developed sources out there.
I very much appreciate your candidness during this video. I am super proud of anyone who can move past abuse and not let the abuse define them as a victim--and speak out about the abuse so that others can learn, heal, get out of their abusive situation, etc. Of course, I would never judge someone for keeping things private but I'm of the mindset that complete silence can often only do more harm than good. Yeah, Stockholm Syndrome is absolutely a real thing; and now I understand why. This was very enlightening and I'm highly impressed with your knowledge, your goal, and your authenticity. Thanks for sharing. Okay I actually need to add to this comment: when I was in 2nd grade, a stranger came into our school and exposed himself to me in the bathroom. I tell people about this fairly often bc a. I want parents to understand the dangers. b. I want others to know they're not alone. c. I want people to understand that the guilt and the shame don't belong to them, even though it def feels that way at times. I didn't tell my mom, bc I wanted to spare her (I was 7 and didn't realize that my teacher would call my mom after school--actually that's weird...why didn't they have my mom come pick me up? I rode the bus home. It was the early 80s I suppose that's why). Anyway, understanding nature and nuture has helped me understand why I reacted to a tramautic event in the manner I did in the following weeks, months and years (I'm still afraid of public restrooms a lot of the time). And yet...I feel empathy for the person who scared me so and had ill intentions--I'm quite sure he was probably abused himself. And to this day, I harbor a seething and righteous rage toward child molesters. Listening to your story, I wanted to enact justice on your behalf. You're a good, brave human and a stand-up guy. I appreciate everything you've done and are doing for this audience.
I'm always happy when you post, but the video makes me feel so sad that you went through that. Before I watched the video I posted a comment that said " This is the best Christmas present ever." But I removed it because it felt wrong in the context of the content in this video. I hope you feel better mentally and physically.
With Love,
Jessica
all good
I think this is why my ENTP brother still loves my parents even though we were definitely abused as children. He more so than me as he was more outspoken and "edgy.". My Si child remembers things more clearly. That Ti-Si loop...Thank you for sharing your story, Chase.
edgy
About time bro! Been waiting for this. I’m an ENTP too so I’m trying to learn about myself. Socrates.
Great video. It’s fascinating seeing how I’m so unaware. Especially the part about shame not being a factor unless it’s blatant but there’s more of a focus on guilt. I have this saying “morality is reciprocal” A great way to persuade me is to feel a sense of obligation.
I will definitely be getting that Benjamin Franklin autobiography btw. Thanks great work.
@@penta4568 I, too, was waiting for this but as you know since you're an ENTP, talking about ourselves so deeply makes us pretty vulnerable. Thats why relationship works to a certain degree. Once our trust is gained and earned, we stay completely loyal to the livelihood of this person or thing even if we don't want to anymore.
I find myself weaving in and out of thoughts each time I reflect on all of my decisions in life. Then I put that in the back of my mind and just think of other things to keep busy. I think thats our best trait: we can multitask on so many levels and still act so nonchalant regardless of the stress in our lives. We are talented individuals for sure haha
Hey, I just want to say that I think you’re great. You overcame so much, and have become pretty amazing. You’re one of the few people who have ever said anything that surprised or taught me anything. Keep being awesome! ❤️
I'm ENTP and its really weird because I can tell when someone is being fake and also am good at telling when someone is trying to manipulate me. However I am at the same time really gullible and trusting and its because I regard being trustworthy to them super important and so always assume everyone is like me and treat me the same way.
Merry Christmas! From one ENTP to another, I feel this on so many levels! Thank you for opening up and being raw with us! Your channel has changed my life! 🙌🏽
That’s an extremely honest, heavy story. So much respect for sharing.
This is solid gold. Appreciate and admire your candor. Also the car studio is kinda awesome - like being in a treehouse with Mr. CSJ... :-D
Spot on. I was loyal to an ex (covert narcissist) and his ex gf who turned best friend (malignant narcissist). Total Stockholm syndrome. After the relationship, I was able to find out what they were, it was like I found the holy grail but no one else could see my discovery, how frustrating. Very embarrassing. Especially since I've judged friends in the past for staying in abusive relationships. Like great job using your logic *finger guns*
let me blow the smoke off the barrel.
You are so brave, please don't be hard on yourself you should not feel any shame it was not something you had any control over.
As a ENTP, I have always loved the Riddler, I like to ask questions that possibly mislead people into saying things that they most likely did not want to.
Thank you for sharing this, it really pisses me off hearing what you went through. Also, much thanks for helping me understand and improving the relationship with my ENTP father, as I am an ISFJ. You made me realize how much I look up to him, and use him as an example to improve myself, and how much I can learn from him, as he is my subconscious. I'll try to emulate INTJ more to make him feel valued and wanted, and to make sure he knows I'm glad that he is my dad.
I'm around your age and an INFJ. I have a sweet baby son who is an ENTP. Everything you just said is terrifying and I'm sorry you had to endure that. I hope I can do my best to be a safe space for my son to tell me the truth about himself and accept him. When I got him I got a set of tiger stripes, and I learned just how far I was prepared to go to fight for and with him. I wish you every strength and thriving for your own fight.
awesome, just do not force your son to do the right thing because your interpretation of what the right thing is will not be his. Let him do things independently and not interdependently. I wish I had that in my upbringing.
@@CSJoseph Word to that. I'l learning more and more the only control he'll accept is to be master of his own self control. Ultimately that's exactly what he should have anyway. Rushing around after him putting out cognitive fires is only going to weigh him down and make him unable to access his masculinity. But his journey will have to be one of limit breaking on that control. Self Mastery, isn't that the big journey for everyone?
so good to see you back. thank you for sharing your life to help us understand more. Merry Christmas to you and your family.
C.S Joseph. Will you in future make a video about how to type someone based on their facial expresions and body language. Based on their appearance the way they dress etc. Anything that has to do with the way they look and sound and talk. I know that eyes are a very important factor at typing someone.
yes
Hey Bro
I've never seen your channel before but I clicked on your video as I am an ENTP myself. My heart broke (as much as my ENTP heart can) when you told your story about being manipulated by the church. I'm a Christian myself and I've always been wary of preachers when they talk about giving because I know I'm susceptible to giving in. So hearing your story struck with me because that could easily be me. However I hope that story hasn't turned you away from god completely, as he is still very real and wants a deep relationship with you. Horrible story and absolutely brilliant video. I really appreciate your openness
Three things. I wasn't really expecting this type of lecture -- but I think it touched a number of points (and not just your experience with being molested). First (and not to theorize the situation), I think it is important that people understand that any type of abuse (especially in the case of molestation) is about power. Oftentimes, when people think about abuse whether in the form of incest or rape, they focus on what they see as sexual deviance. But as you had revealed later on in your experience when one of the culprits went out of his way to destroy your reputation, it was mostly about control through manipulation. That is why I think that the laws against Statutory rape are important -- and not just because of Stockholm Syndrome. Oftentimes, people who engage in such relationships with those 17 and younger claim to do so out of fondness. However, when entering relationships, usually both people are almost as vulnerable as much as they have control. So, when one person has more life experience than the other person, they are not only more likely to have more control (and less vulnerability), they have more development of their parent and inferior functions and hence are less likely to feel insecure over that child or teen who hasn't fully developed the parent function which is more pessimistic.
Moreover, based on your story and others, I see this pattern of abuse likely occurring in Fe oriented households (not that other households are not vulnerable) because of the reputation of the family as a whole as being fundamentally important even when compared to the individual needs of everyone in the family. To be more specific (without becoming long-winded), I find that if people say the right things in the right manner and behave accordingly in the appropriate manner, they can attain buy-in when it comes to the patriarch and matriarch. Yet, just because a person knows how to 'jump' through all of the right hoops does not mean he/she has the best of intentions. It is common and ironic at the same time that such adults will often double down by sheltering their own children by telling them to not talk to strangers, respect authority, and disparage any hormonal impulse they (the children) may have. Yet, they unwittingly invite such people into their lives. Although this seems to occur mostly with extended and immediate family (as the culprits) versus family friends, it is still the same concept, but just in parallel. That parallel is the notion that relatives and blood-related members are entitled to such gratuities because of endurance, supposed loyalty, and in some cases, supposed sacrifice tied to their reputation. However, when you look closely, they are quite ordinary and the respectability they have is either more of an illusion or an idealization of who they are as people.
Lastly, I think you are the first person to mention that it is 'simple' to emulate an INTJ. Most other people focus on the fact that INTJs are strategy oriented while other focus on the lack of outward expression of feeling. I have mostly maintained that I am pretty much simple in terms of what I want and what I desire. However, my life path thus far has somewhat been convoluted in terms of the means of getting those things. To me, I have mostly taken it for granted that everyone usually goes after what they want, because "after all, who doesn't go after what they want?". However, I am just now appreciating that this is not the case; not when we live in an SJ society that tells us what we should do (despite asking kids what they want to be when they grow up) and with another portion of the population that does not know what they want. Because of this, I think my experience as a child has been very much different because although at times naive, my nature wouldn't allow me to overlook the flaws of adults or even care about such validation. However, I could see myself falling into a similar trap if someone was to offer me an opportunity at such a young age that those in my circle weren't willing to offer me.
well said ^^
Chase thank you so much for sharing your story. I’m also a sexual abuse and childhood abuse survivor and I deeply emphasised with you. Remember that the abuse is NEVER the child’s fault. I also have that toxic shame, where I feel ashamed of what happened to me but I’ve learned that this is simply from a false sense of control; thinking we could have stopped it somehow, but we couldnt because we didn’t know any better. After all, we were groomed for it. I’m still not sure if I’m intj or infj, but in my experience, I didn’t even realise what abuse was until much older, and I also developed dissociation and dissociative amnesia which blocked my memories for decades (hmm si inferior or si demon?) then they came out and I was so scared when I realised what my memories really were about. Anyways, just wanted to tell you I wish we were friends IRL because ENTPs are the ones that have been so consistent and caring in my life and I have DEEP respect for them and love them very much. You are SO smart and awesome. Thanks for doing this work, it’s amazing. You’re the dopest! :)
Hi, just want to say that I've been watching you for a few weeks now and that you really inspire me. I really want to learn more and be able to understand others. Your channel has changed my life and shaped the way in how I view other people. I hope you never stop making good content and educating others. :)
you are most welcome
Wow this video is going to save someone from abuse ! I’m learning so much so grateful to have stumbled on this sorry I keep coming back commenting I’m taking notes .
You are really brave and courageous. This is a very eye opening episode. Thank you for sharing this. ♥️
One of the best videos you’ve ever made. Incredibly admirable. You rock man!
Thank you for sharing this. I really hope this helps people who are going/have gone through this and helps me to heal others.
You're welcome. That's my hope as well.
Merry Christmas! We missed you
I was wondering why Fe relates to guilt while Fi to shame... It makes more sense for the reverse to be true as guilt is the fear of not able to accept yourself by youself(introverted) whereas shame in general is fear of unable to be accepted by others(extroverted)
Guilt comes from your thinking (Ti) you're a bad person based on how you acted upon the values of others (Fe), while shame is from others thinking (Te) you're a bad person relative to how you value yourself (Fi).
Wow, your story or rather your honesty literally broke my heart 💔 I hope I can once get over my own one (it's less 'dramatic'), knowing about Si-inferior attached to Stockholm helps
3:30 I appreciate that you go through the difficulty and humiliating yourself in order to bring us value. Thanks, very helpful :)
Every type is mostly manipulated with fe so this was a very good video for others to learn from. People praise you and compliment you and the types put faith in them cuz they were made to feel good and that's all it takes. Every type gets taken advantage of this way but not so much the ne because they usually have strong distrust in everyone. Lots of porn stars get this high of finally being wanted so they give in to the porn industry, wanting to be loved is evil. Even if the type is not si inferior they are still loyal to what corrupted them. Women go through this a lot after their corrupter installs their lust in them so they can chase their corrupter and they don't have to be si inferior but is all about the individual too not just the type. Is how illuminati works.
About giving money (the church part). I believe when you give with your heart, it will be given back to you. It may not be right away (it hardly ever is right away), but usually comes right before you break.
Just do not work like this..you cannot buy the blessing of God. Just can find the blessings through Crist
alejandro fuentes corrales his heart was in the right place
This cleared up so much about my own life!!!!! Thank you so much, you are a genius:))
My parents were my abusers. Emotional abusers. This makes so much sense now and I realize now why my siblings weren’t affected the way I was. I felt stupid all my life until about 8 months ago. It’s insane how entp can be so smart, but be so blind when put into this type of situation! The vengence and vindictive part you talk about is so true, too. I can’t even express the anger I felt when this image of my parents came crashing down.
This brought back bad experiences from my ex boyfriend who is an Esfp. I am against extramarital sex but I am always manipulated to have sex because I am so loyal to him and it was a long term relationship. Even though the guilt almost killed me. I still defendent him and blame myself. This made me cry. (INTP)
You have no idea how much this video has expanded on all the little building blocks I've been putting together in my mind for a long time now. My dad is an ENTP and I'm ISFJ. I've struggled all my life and continue to struggle with having the kind of relationship I feel I need with my father... and as he gets older I feel incredible pain at the realization that he will die one day and I'll never have developed that bond with him that I've always wanted. All I'm left with is this compulsive need to try to understand the truth about him and about everyone and everything in my life. I guess that's me trying to compensate for what I cannot get, by at least trying to understand why I cannot get it. Your video along with my constant search through various sources is/are helping me to put together pieces of this endless puzzle I'm working on with regard to understanding significant people and relationships in my life. SO MUCH of what you've said here maps my father's personality and behavior with incredible accuracy. I'm constantly torn between feeling pity/compassion for him because of his past and present struggles, and then feeling anger/frustration toward him because he can't be the type of person I can connect with the way I want to and need to. Not that I would try to use this social engineering strategy to try to achieve this bond with him in such a way because it would feel deceitful/dishonest to me and not in line with the authentic and genuine way I need it to be so it can feel real and valuable to me... Anyway, thank you for the videos and thank you for sharing all of this, along with the very personal and vulnerable subjects of your childhood abuse and experience with being conned. It is very brave of you and I commend you for it and for being so open and honest... and also for all the personal work you've done and continue to do to understand, recognize, grow and overcome. I'm very sorry that those terrible things happened to you and hope that someday you can completely move past them and the guilt and shame associated with them. ❤️
glad to be of help
Feel better Chase and Merry christmas to you and yours. Ok now let me get back to this hour long video lol
I appreciate everything you've done for us with these videos. Thank you for your sincerity and sharing this story
Thank you for this video. Self reconstruction always starts with being able to face the truth about our deepest wounds. Not something so popular in our quick solutions and superficial culture. You are a very brave man and I hope you will be able to, one day, forgive yourself (first of all) and others. We're only humans after all. I grew up in a Christian Evangelical family, and I just hate that "magic quick Jesus forgive and forget" speech. Easy given feelings = Cheap untrue forgiveness... C'mon, let's cut the crap here. Anyway. I am starving for deep spiritual meaning and real wisdom philosophy like Jesus brought to humanity. Take care!
So so so true about the 'flee->double back->fuck you up later' mentality! Lol, that's just good tactics in my book. Note: As a (hopefully) more mature ENTP I try to avoid grudges and revenge thought, because it's so consuming and energetically not worth it usually...but the temptation is always there.
This explains my entire existence XD
I’ve saved this video, so that I can show it to that one person that I’ll one day care about enough. Because of two reasons,
1. The fact that ENTP‘s usually don’t care about other people, but the second someone understands these ways of; dealing with ENTP’s and figuring out how to have them by your side… it can be dangerous for both the ENTP and the person “social engineering” them. Because like you said, if it doesn’t last, the ENTP is going to make life hell for them. If I will ever come to a point of caring so much about a person, even with the realization that by showing them this video I essentially care about them even when they’ve failed “social engineering” me. (And to be honest, it’ll probably happen a few times because I’ll think I care, and I’ll feel like I can give my all to a person just because they WANT me but that’s not the point) I’d want to show them this video so that they know how to not hurt me and themselves. Anyways yeah, that’s one reason.
2. The fact that it is so well explained, and filled with the truth and the tiny nuances behind it… which, I find, is not something you can easily find on RUclips.
So yeah, thanks.
I relate to this so much. My dad always ruins wherever it is I want and whenever he comes back apologizing I always forgive him.
Enlightening, much closure; other ENTPs have also had their “naivety” preyed upon as a child.
I had a similar experience, with other kids grooming me and using me as the ringleader for their “Closet Games” lol.
But I kept on taking the blame for them, hmm #entp@Stockholm
A question though; after the abuse began, and finally was brought to light, did you engage in social isolation to prevent being taken advantage of again?
It seems not though, which is why I ask.
I just stockpiled my Hall of Faces (#GOT) and used it as the blocks of my Fortress of Solitude.
In any case, much thanks.
I greatly look forward to the A grade content you provide. 👍
much appreciated
First video I've ever seen of yours. Some heavy topics. Speaking as someone with a similiar experience, I'm glad you're working through your experiences. It seems like you've got a very supportive community here. Thanks for sharing. -ENTP
Welcome aboard!
Thank you for your vulnerability!
I'm glad you were lucky to get away mentally and physically... I have been in this situation (less harsh in comparison) and still haven't dealt with the confronts. But i do value you and your advice and openness.
Others who conquer others is strong. The person that conquers themselves is powerful. You're power is great
CSJ thank you. As an ENTP I can relate. The faith and loyalty of an ENTP is without equal - it is particularly heinous therefore to use or waste that faith. Maybe this is why I have such an intense sense of ethics. Your work is really insightful and honest. Thank you 🙏🏼
I miss your face. Feel better soon.
@@simpleman3704 LMAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
@@simpleman3704 I am not married actually.
And finally you came back with an incredible lecture I knew it
It's not easy to talk about it , I know it takes ALOT of courage to stand up and speak I really appreciate that
I wanna say sth to you that you are actually a strong person ( I am not saying nice words to cheer u up) but I can't imagine how you get all through this sexual abuse, divorce, homeless and you come back to inspire us after all that whether lectures are about you or.not and you want society to learn sth.. WOW amazing, I am really surprised and proud of you in the same time
I hope you could find someone deserve your loyalty and caring and FYI every time I see your lectures I feel it I feel your pure spirit inside you and f*** who will say that you are insincere or emotionless or weak person they won't handle anything you had been through and last word, if you still couldn't find that one who deserve u, you can talk here we are here for you and it's not only your content , it's about you for who you are ❤
thanks bro
FYI, I am a girl 😂
Thank you for sharing this video. I don’t know if I could open up this much... I know this has helped a lot of your subscribers. 😊
Watched this video again today, and I now have a much deeper understanding about ENTPs. I realize that I'm literally witnessing an ENTP developing Stockholm Syndrome, being loyal to its manipulators, and defending them by white-knighting for them. Unfortunately, people's psyches don't change, so this sacrificing won't end well.
I'm really happy for you that you are able to break the Stockholm Syndrome. I can imagine how much pain you've been through. Yeah, that's how we gain maturity, isn't it? I wish that ENTP can pass this painful stage soon.
Thank you for everything, Chase!
This is fair. However, know that time must go by for the ENTP to finally break away from said manipulators so that the ENTP can leave knowing they have done their duty.
When the video started i thought 'that would be fun, a lecture in your car, such an intimate mood', but turns out to be so dark... I'm truly sorry for your experience :( what you've been doing in this channel is so valuable, sharing all those knowledge with us, and now bring such a personal story not only for the purpose of this lecture but also to make us aware ... you're an amazing person!! Thank you thank you so much!!
you are most welcome
I used to watch my entp friend wear all those hats for different people back in high school, and at the time I couldn't understand it; it seemed exhausting and borderline insincere. But, there was a draw to being valued by those people, even when she would sometimes express dissatisfaction with the one-sided nature of those relationships. I didn't get it back then but it makes more sense after watching this.
Ive been watching and listening to your videos for months now. And finally understood my personality type. When it finally hit I cannot grasp it. It's like your whole belief system is now questionable. When you talk about the Si (blindspot) when I think about it I feel like it was from my belief to love my neighbor as i love myself plus the do unto others what you would want to do unto you. Ive wasted a lot of years and resources because of this blindspot.
Anyhow, would like to thank you for your hardwork and courage. You are opening a lot of people's eyes. God bless!
this video was brutal. I can relate too much. Thanks for sharing and helping me understand the stuff that's happened to me as well. This is literally the 1st time in life I've been able to, thanks to your honesty.
I want to add that Ne is, to me, in part seduced by "transgressing boundaries" because of the attraction to boundless experiences/endless potential. So especially when one is young and inexperienced it is easy to see how an icky person can get one to buy into a sick, predatory system
mega Respect sent your way, sir
jeepers dude! you’ve been through a lot and this is really giving me the vibe that maybe my ENTP consort has been through a similar experience. also sorry about what you went through in terms of church experience. am praying for your healing all round 🙏
Watching as an INTJ.
Update: this has been very accurate with my experience with an entp I am with (without me actively trying to manipulate them was just being myself)
Dude, you're so fucking strong! I've known your channel and videos for a long time but now, watching this video and listening to the abuse you lived.. like, I wouldn't even imagine that this kind of thing happened to you. I'm shocked. I wish I could give you a hug. Keep doing your awesome job and changing people's lives with your sincerity and knowledge. Peace ❤️
I'm here because a teacher of mine is an ENTP and I want to know how to best communicate with them so they can feel comfortable being themselves, being frank with me, and I can make them feel appreciated and acknowledged. They are very good at what they do and I want the best experience and I think that if I understand how best to communicate with them, we will both thrive. I am NOT INTERESTED in putting one over on ANYONE. Thank you for your gift. I want to bear hug you.
I never believed you when you said you were homeless,but seeing you in your car,with a torch,working, on Christmas Day?!? Like it’s nothing at all.
Yeah you were homeless.
Stay safe man.
So basically, to manipulate an ENTP, as an actual INTJ, just be honest and tell them how much you ACTUALLY want them for the purpose of your goal and make them comfertable with it. Then tell them how much you value their Ti thinking, *while you, of course, make full use of it,* and always make sure you DONT overdo it and that they also get something out of it every time so you dont have to make them go COMPLETELY against their own interests to help you, so that they dont start feeling insecure about being manipulated and will remain loyal.
The way I see it, as long as your honest about your use of them (as an actual INTJ and not an emulated one) and make sure not to over do it, they will remain loyal to you because they have no reason to feel insecure if you dont flaunt it like it's a bad thing for them.
For example: If I wanted to social engineer Mr. CS Joseph into making season 19 available for free, I should tell him how much I want it (which is a damn hell of a lot) and how much I value the wisdom he would be granting me through it. BUT I must also make sure to suggest a way in which he could make it available without going against his own interests so that I don't have to deal with his revenge ever, or have to struggle as much with the social engineering, as it would be mutually beneficial.
For example, I could suggest a system that could make individual episodes available through the power of adds but only for a limited time, like for 1 day. Thus, (in this completely theoretical system) if we make you enough money on your website overtime, through viewing adds, clicking on links and downloading apps, we could possibly get limited time access to an episode, *without* you having to get *nothing* for it. MAYBE a sort of credits systems, where credits are awarded for making you money through viewing said adds and interacting with them and over a long period of time we would be able to build up enough credits to, idk, potentially buy access to an episode for 1 day??? Who knows! 🤷♂️
That way there would still be incentive to get memberships instead because it would take a hell of a lot if effort to build up credits and even if you DO get enough it would only buy you limited time access. Or something simular to that, I'm not sure how advertising works and how hard it is to attract advertisers so maybe the system could. Maybe credits could also be built up through watching other available videos or introducing more people to your content?
But of course... 😌 That's JUUUST an example and I meant ABSOLUTELY nothing by it! 🧐 It's not like I'm suggesting that you ACTUALLY do something like that or anything... 🤥
Although I have to admit, that would be kinda cool...
uP
Any INTJs reading those would feel too complicated. Get to the point.
I remembered my wife was watching your videos a few years ago so I am watching them also. I am an ENTP... She activated my shadow. Fortunately my shadow seemed to have reconized what was happening and was super reactive to her manipulation. Also was protecting my future and sent her away before I fully understood what was happening and went rage mode. She put herself in so much danger... I wonder of it was worth it.
I traumatized myself with my behaviour...
Really... Heed the warning... Don't do this.. ENTPs in shadow mode is dark.
So glad you're back online
Thankkkkkkk (finally, a new lecture come haha). Waiting for next lecture. Have a nice day!
I have been thinking for a day now about what you are saying, and I think there is one important thing to add: As adults, we have to tell ourselves every day that it is both our right and our obligation to make sure that others do no harm to us. We must not delegate that responsibility, as delegating will not work. Of course, there are often other people caring about us, but most of the time one will be able to see that only in retrospect, since attention and care in the moment often feel similar. On the contrary, as a child, it is _others'_ responsibility to care about and protect the child. I suspect that, somewhat paradoxically, many people who have made the experience of having been badly protected as a child, or being forced into trades such as the one you describe to get what they required emotionally, struggle with protecting themselves as an adult, and have a hard and difficult time learning how to do that, and too often forget about it.
Sorry you went through that.
That's one of the greatest and the most insightful lectures ever
That's so brave of you and I really appreciate you for doing all of these = ) now I'm gonna understand my little brother and protect him more =))
Came here to learn how to social engineer my dad, because he's so annoying with his debates that seem so believable to other ppl in the room while I obviously see how they make no sense, but others believe him everytime and they make me look like the illogical one because I am an introvert and ppl perceive me as a mean and less reliable person while I am not.
I’m almost 30 and it’s taken me till now to break out of this “Stockholm syndrome” and the “codependency” with my abuser too. :( I understand. You just opened my eyes as to why this has happened to me for so long. This is by far the most relevant video I’ve ever watched regarding my past abuse. I’m so glad I watched this. I get it now. Don’t you think this personality trait better matches Harley Quinn more than the joker? I’m not obsessed w that couple but I keep reading how the joker is an entp... but this Stockholm syndrome bit feels more Harley Quinn than joker. On a final note, that last bit, is so true.