The facility was appropriate. All these people with opinions are not willing to take this woman in, including the sister. I hope his son wasn’t affected by that terrible remark.
When I heard the comment "mum: stick it in a facility. Son: sticks mum in a facility." I died laughing lol that's brilliant haha I would've said what mum you said to stick it in a facility so I followed your advice and put you in a facility 🤣
1st story: There is nothing mother can do or say to make up for her vile behavior. Glad "IT" went to an institution where it belongs. You have my respect and are a great dad. Wtg!
@@velvety2006 Or buy mother a plane ticket and fly her to her place. Either way works. Not that she will, the virtual signaller that she apparently is. We have a saying we say to people like that: "it's easy to flap others' dick through the nettles."
I love how OP’s mother says “stick it in a facility” …then when OP does exactly that (to her) suddenly he’s in the wrong. OP should respond to everyone giving him crap with “she set the precedent of putting unwanted people in a facility, im just following her logic” NTA OP and you are an absolute HERO imo, your son is lucky to have you
First story. OMG! I can't believe she said that! "Stick IT in a facility,"? That is beyond vile. My dad lived with us for several years before he died. If he had of treated any of the kids that way, he would have been gone. Anyone said a word to me about it would have been blasted for it. People with Downs Syndrome are angels on Earth. I'd be asking that guy to please explain to me how the dog managed to get to my state from his state at 3 months old. And prove it please. I'm not buying his story at all and I would tell him so. I would have asked those biddies how they would have responded to that scenario then.
My father keeps sheepdogs and he has to buy microchips because sheepdog pups are a valuable investment. But 3k for a Newfoundland and it wasn't chipped, that is iffy.
I agree with you, I bought a puppy with champion bloodlines from a breeder and the puppy was microchipped by the breeder before I ever received the puppy. The $3,000 story the man told seems unlikely.
Honestly, who has the time as a single parent to look after two kids, one with a disability, and a mean old crone that will likely need a full-time nurse in a few weeks. Keeping her around the house just encourages her to be evil to everyone while you wait to pull the trigger on getting rid of her.
First and foremost, my disclaimer: I don't agree with what OP's mother did and said. People with Downs are such special people with the most beautiful, pure souls. Now, on to playing devil's advocate... Your comment is absolutely spot on. Which means... the OP knew what their mother was like and still allowed the visit to go ahead. Even stating he was willing to have a week long trial period to see how things would go with the kids. On top of that, OP's mother actually does have the choice to spoil one kid over another, she can play favourites. Whether we like it or not, those are her decisions to make. Just as OP can have his mother removed from the house, can cut all contact or visit her in hospice. Those are his decisions to make. We can't take away another person's free will just because we don't agree with them, their behaviour, their comments, their actions, their choices, etc ad nauseum. I would have turfed the woman out of my house for referring to a disabled person as "it". I know from personal experience what it feels like to be called "it" and "that" and to be ignored while my carer is addressed because a wheelchair automatically makes me incapable of intelligence and communication.
@@ruthpowell1944 please, re-read what I wrote. It has not been edited to change any of the wording. I did not say it was granny's RIGHT. What I said was it is her CHOICE. Choices and rights are two very different things where I'm from. The woman's attitude, actions and behaviour are, without doubt, despicable. What is done can not be undone or changed. Every single person on this earth can condemn the woman. It does not change the fact that she can choose what she does or does not do or say. We can not take away another person's choice, we can only make our own choices in response - as the OP did. Favourites is a game no one wins. Including the favoured party. They are resented by everyone else who sees what is happening - whether they play into the game or not.
On the interview story: I'd prolly have clapped back with something like: "I'M a child? You're the grown man throwing a tantrum for not being allowed inside a locked room for 10 minutes." Along with "Help? You've botched *every. single. interview.* interview so far. Your track record is X/X total failures. Just accept you are useless at this and move on."
Financial abuse all the way. He wants to control her by preventing her from getting an income and then make her beg for every little thing she needs so he can feel powerful and needed. There's nothing wrong with being a stay at home spouse or having a reasonable budget, but that's not what's going on here. He's sabotaging her independence with no regard to her well-being.
OP knows deep down what her husband is doing and that it's wrong. Hopefully she won't ignore these 🚩🚩🚩. He's sabotaging her interviews to control her financially. Next step he will take is to "mark his territory" at her new job by visiting her and speaking to her boss on her behalf behind her back.
Per the lost dog story: The dog was a puppy when he was "lost." It's been six years, and the dog has been with you all this time. He is YOUR dog, and probably doesn't even remember anyone else. Be sure you have him chipped and licensed, so you have proof of ownership. And be aware that this may not even be the same dog, considering the distance between the place he was lost and the place you found him. Dogs of the same breed can look very much alike; think how many dogs played Lassie, and most people never even realized that collies were being moved on and off cameras depending on what stunt they were trained to perform. If the guy who claims he lost your dog as a puppy has no proof other than photos of a puppy, and stopped looking for the dog years ago, he probably no longer has any legal claim on the dog.
Solid black Newfies look a whole lot alike. He could have gotten the pictures and video on the internet. Newfies are expensive and are often stolen for that reason. I'm suspicious of anyone that plays the Lost Dog card.
@@lorisewsstuff1607 also with how expensive newfies are why wasn't he wearing a chip or a collar, nah this guy wants a cheap already trained dog possible to act as a breeding dog if bear has not been fixed
yeah 3 mo old puppies don't travel long distances on their own. also puppy that age is either in house or supervised on yard. either he just wants on for free or someone did manage steal it and dumped it. either way, dog belongs to OP.
I’d say “if it’s supposedly your dog that I’ve been looking after for 6 years then you won’t mind compensating me for all the vet bills, food, medications, toys and grooming. Total cost for 6 years of care is $12k”.
Wow, for a dying lady she sure was comfortable leaving that kind of legacy behind. Most dying people stories I hear, they're trying to get in as many good points as they can in the time they have left. I do enjoy the uno reverse card "stick IT in a facility" though, that part made me smile.
True, behavior like that rarely pops up out of nowhere. If OP thinks about it, there’s probably a long line of things undermining her confidence and independence leading up to this.
Dog story. Make sure you get Bear microchipped and find out to that guys address. If Bear goes missing, call the Humane Society in that area. They can check it out to see if they stole him. Also let your local cops know the situation just in case the AH shows up at your door demanding "his" dog. He said that they got 2 more dogs in that 6 yr timespan. Does he still have them or did they "run away" too?
His story also has a major flaw. They "adopted" bear yet also paid $3000 for him. Thats not adopted, that's bought. Also your $3000 dog and you only put up posters in your own small town, and never bothered to get the dog chipped, I spend $3k on a dof I'm getting the dog a full medical and chipped within the week. Also if he wants to play the money card, the response is "well I've cared for this dog for 7 years, so at market rate of $30 a day for a dog sitter, that's $76650 plus vets bill's", I accept payment in the form of cash or a specific $3000 dog, your choice. Admittedly you then need to hope he's not a millionaire.
I would have said all sexy-like “how about you sit on my lap instead” 😉 and watch as he freaks out 😂 Hit them back with the same crap they give you and enjoy the freak out that inevitably happens every time.
The first story is shocking but doesn't really surprise me. I was a hospice nurse for several years and learned that "people die as they have lived." If they're selfish assholes all their life, they will not suddenly grow a halo when they're dying. If anything, they get worse. I tried to give all my patients the best possible care, because everyone should get that when dying, but some patients' deaths were a relief to me as much as to their families.
Holy cow, a friend of mine who works as an end of life care counselor and said the same thing. He said very few people have a “come to Jesus” moment when death is near. If they were wonderful people for most of their lives, that’s how they meet the end. If they were miserable jerks for most of their lives, that’s also how they meet the end. According to him, it never took long to figure out which was which.
I would like to challenge this a bit as I volunteered at an old folks home and met 1 guy that completely caught me off guard. There was a sweet old man at the home that loved to play guitar and always had a kind word to say to everyone, including my black coworkers. It completely shocked us when we learned he was KKK till his 70s as he never even hinted at it. We learned this after his passing where he left half his estate to the home, the other half to a black charity, and hand written letters to each of the workers that helped him thanking them for thier companionship in his last years. His letters talked about his past and how he wished he had more time to make up for his failures and misdeeds. God, I actually miss him, he was so kind and his music was great.
@@stargazer378 During my years as a hospice nurse I met all sorts of people, from truly wonderful folks who met death gracefully to an old biker dude who kept a revolver under his sheet. After we learned about the gun we had to transfer him to a State facility with a whole lot more security
Story 1: Dying or not, it doesn't give anyone the excuse to abuse anyone. She got what she deserved. Story 2: It's clear he's been sabotaging the interviews bc he KNOWS you don't interrupt somebody's interview. This would be considered divorce worthy. story 3: something doesn't add up. He wants his dog back after 6 years, but got 2 other dogs and already promised to get him back for the kids? but the dog ended up over in another state when it went missing? I think he got rid of that dog and then the kids found out years later because one of them tried looking in the facebook group.
@@HisShadowX I think that you have it backwards. What you meant to say was that her son had no OBLIGATION to take in his poor excuse for a human mother. There, I fixed it for you! She IS required to be civilized, which she wasn't by calling the child IT. She IS required to treat the kids equally as that was a requirement for staying in her son's house. That was her OBLIGATION. She HAD the opportunity to do so, but DECIDED on being a CRUEL MONSTER instead. She DID NOT meet the terms for housing her, so she got kicked out on her old crusty butt. She can have all of the opinions she wants at hospice away from those poor children. There she's not obligated to do anything, but die.
@@HisShadowX yep, and son had NO obligation to deal with that old hag’s shit until she dies. for someone that had nowhere to stay, she’s got a lot of fuvking nerve. old bats in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. NTA!
The story where the husband keeps sabotaging OP’s job interviews is the alarming classic beginning of a toxic, controlling abusive relationship- it’s blindingly obvious he wants to prevent her having any financial independence to make her totally reliant on him, he and his family continually attempt to erode her self confidence in her abilities, he refuses to acknowledge her basic human right to autonomy believing he has the right to dictate and override her wants and decisions. When she tries to put reasonable, healthy boundaries in place he continues to completely dismiss and disregard her opinions and feelings while also manipulatively invalidating her extremely valid complaints and concerns by twisting the narrative to make HER the irrational one and him the victim. It WILL get worse, especially since it appears he is already in a more financially and socially powerful position to her. You just know if she’s not careful she will end up pregnant very soon just so he has more influence to trap and control her. The level of narcissism and entitlement he displays is truly horrifying and I sincerely doubt anything you say or do will ever change that.
Last story, OP, I dont know know what kind of event you went to but I think your response to lap guy was correct and volume was good too. This made sure people were watching and he couldn't force you to do what you didnt want too. Also, it meant that people helped you find an empty seat. Yeah it might have interrupted the person on the microphone but people laughed and the night kept going on.
If TV’s taught me anything odds are it was full of rich old dudes who are so loaded their spouses overlook it so they can continue to enjoy the lifestyle (he’s rich, he can do anything he wants sort of thing)
Exactly. So a person on the mic was interrupted briefly. Nobody died. Telling her she should have spoken softer gives cover for that jerk to do something like that again. Women like that are the type to blame other women for their own harassment, then get angry with them for fighting back. Ugh.
I would have told those women if they had a strange man groping on them, they can be quiet if they want to but you refuse to be disrespected like that.
I’m sorry but in the last story, how is declining an offer for a guy offering his lap for a random woman considered poor behavior? Considering she doesn’t even know that creep.
Yep. That is absolutely inappropriate behavior toward anyone who isn't expressly advertising lap dances, and this wasn't an appropriate venue for it anyway. The correct response to the women later is, "Oh, so you condone his sexual harassment. Good to know."
Yeah, I would rather stand than sit in the lap of some random man. I don't care how nice looking that man was or if he screamed to the world that he was a nice guy- I would not be sitting in anyone's lap. I am not on that story yet, but if people are saying that OP is an AH for declining to sit in someone's lap, I am done with this world. Mind you, there were people screaming at a woman online who posted a video of being followed by some creep for blocks when she was on her way back home. 'Maybe you should have asked him what he wanted'... uh, yeah... still done with the world after that one...
Six years is a very long time for somebody to want their dog back. OP found the pup and raised him and fell in love with him. The dog found an excellent family with OP and would only know OP as his person. If this was taken to court, OP would be considered the legal owner. Besides, if this man is from another State and the dog went missing there- how on earth did he end up in another State? I agree that somebody probably packed up that dog and sent him away. Probably didn't expect to find that a Newfoundland dog would be huge and got rid of the responsibility.
@Gi Gi agreed, we used to have a large black lab the gooddest of boys and we have run into 2 or 3 doppelgangers since his passing, all the same, color, build and even how they walked a bit.
Story 1: NTA. She’s the reason she’s going to die alone in hospice care. It doesn’t matter the logistics of the situation! If you say he’s your Son then he’s your Son. She doesn’t have to like it but if she can’t respect it then she shouldn’t be surprised to be turned away.
The lack of a toy for disabled child doesn't bother me as much as OP's mom calling the boy an it. Send it to foster care, she said. You'd think someone as close to meeting their Maker as this lady is that she would try to be nice to everyone.
The lack of a toy also isn't good. The clear favoritism. The boy would have only been hurt if she had stayed. She'd kept buying more toys only for the girl. He would never get one and lord only knows what vile would come out of her mouth when he asks why he didn't get one
“Stick IT in a facility”? Seriously?! SMH - kids with downs are AMAZING. So loving & kind.. Mom missed a beautiful opportunity to love him. This story made me sick & mad
That ESH comment is completely wrong. People should always draw attention to people who are creeps and their creepy behavior. If that happens to be at an event like that all the better. They should be made as uncomfortable as the person they are harassing. Maybe next time he'll at the very least be too afraid to open his mouth next time. 'Stay quiet during harassment because you may put someone out,' is always such a stupid mindset when it comes to situations like that.
It is bad, but unfortunately OP won't have any legal recourse for getting her savings back. Since she is a minor one or both parents would need to be on her account (I've heard that some banks in the US allow minors to be the sole account owner, but this isn't the case here), and since mom is on the account she is free to deposit and withdraw as she pleases. Honestly teens need to understand how screwed they are if they have parents that steal from them or hold their livelihoods over their heads (e.g. "Go to X college/university and study what I want, or I'll throw you out at 18 with only the clothes you're wearing!") and prepare to go cagefree. Keep money on them instead of joint account, find their personal documents like birth certificate etc, find someone who'll take them in until their situation is more stable, and leave asap with no warning so the parent(s) can't guilt trip or sabotage these efforts to escape. There should be a guide written for helping teens escape controlling parents, and have it handed out in schools.
@@ynmonroesadly not, it wasn’t until like 2008 that there were any legal protections for soldiers who’s wives did this kinda crap before leaving them and that was a HUGE issue, in comparison what’s happened here is relatively rare and therefore doesn’t garner much attention from lawmakers
from my 2nd marriage I gain 2 wonderful sons from her previous relationships. I couldn't imagine my life without them. I remember a while ago while visiting my father, he made a comment about them not being my sons as they're my wife's sons. I told my father that the situation is pretty simple. Either recognize them as my sons and his grandson's or we might as well say our good byes now as it'll be the last time we ever see each other again. He suddenly had a change of heart. That man paid $3k to "adopt" a dog? I doubt he paid that or if it's an adoption. If the guy truly wants his dog back tell him to fork over all of the money for food, vet, dog toys, and any other expense spent over the last 6 years plus interest. See if he really want the dog back than.
I am planning on getting a kitten in August, one of the first things I will do is have him/her chipped. 250 maybe isn't 3000 but i want people to be able to locate where he lives to incase he gets lost.
Yeah,my mom stole my inheritance and the money my relatives gave to my account . It's all gone ,and I can't do anything about now anymore ,but she is not welcome in mine and my three kids life at all..best decision in my life to go no contact with her .
Stories (parents) who steal from their children (or the reverse) make me so angry. I can’t imagine screwing over my kid. My parents can’t conceive of me doing that to them either. I’ve been on their accounts for 20 years (to make their lives easier) and not once stolen from them. Hopefully the way I’m raising my younglings they will be the same way.
@@missingbobsburgers you're very lucky and so are your parents to have an great son like you then ! I can't imagine stealing from my kids..all of them have an account where I put money in,never take anything ..that's why I never understood why and how could my own mom take from me.. It really makes me angry,that those kinda parents exist ..very aggravating and sad..
Exactly! As a disability support worker I have helped non able bodied people do interviews (ie: helping them ask any questions they had, checking what modifications they could offer like a special desk that fits a wheelchair, etc). But this woman is able bodied and has mental acuity! He is just a controlling jerk who wants to financially control her so she has to be a stay at home wife.
Story 3: NTA. NO! You are honestly telling me that a man that lost a one mouth old puppy, a puppy that just happened to wonder over a state line FYI, wants to just pick him back up 6 YEARS LATER!?! Not only would I not do it because I’m attached to the dog, I wouldn’t do it because he sounds incompetent.
“Sure you can have him back, but seeing as that would mean I’ve been babysitting him for 6 years, you owe me $12k in vet bills, food, worming medicines, flea treatments, toys and grooming”. Guarantee he’d not be interested in wanting the dog back then...
Story 4: NTA. Sue her YESTERDAY. She has the nerve to tell you your on your own for college and then use the money you saved up FOR THAT EXPLICIT PURPOSE to get her Mellons enhanced!?! That was for your future and unless she’s trying to trap a rich Husband that’s not what it’s being used for.
I really hate too that the family are all, oh no big deal you can take out student loans. So a new pair of boobs for mom is more important than the child’s education and starting adulthood less burdened?! What the hell
I want to know why she gave her paychecks to mom to put in the bank? I bet mommy dearest put it in account in moms name only. Why didn't she open an account herself in her own name. I've had a bank account in my name since I was 12 years old. You don't need your parents permission or signature to open a bank account. Good luck suing if the account was either joint or in moms name only. If that's the case mother can legally do whatever she wants with the money and OP has zero legal recourse.
@@rolandhansen812 According to Google you can't have an account only in your name as a minor at least in the US. I won't say other countries don't allow for that.
@@Mew_Mokuba_Akari I believe google is mistaken. I was born and lived my whole life in the USA. I had a bank account in my own name since the age of 12. No need for parents signature or permission.
OP's mother in the first story is outright cruel. She calls her grandson an 'it' just because the child has down syndrome? He may have a disability, but he's still capable of understanding when somebody doesn't like him. He's still able to listen and hear what is being said and has feelings. He probably even understood that grandma favoured his sister. The audacity of OP's mum for playing the victim when she did something wrong.
Mothers are not deities. They’re not some mythical being. They are flawed humans and are responsible for their actions, just looked every other human on this planet. Okay, she’s Mom. That doesn’t stop her from also being a thief, an abuser, a narcissist, an AH or any manner of crappy human thing. And they should be treated accordingly.
It sounds like the mom has been a terrible person her whole life and this was her son honoring a dying wish for one last chance. And she blew it in one sentence.
Sue the horrible theif. And tell your father and family that they may appreciate her new mounds but you don't because you had to pay for it. And why didn't help pay for it if they liked it so much.
I have a brother with Down’s syndrome, I couldn’t even imagine someone saying this. I’d be absolutely FUMING. Hearing someone say that is absolutely disgusting. My brother is fully functioning and is able to do pretty much everything by himself. He’s incredible. And gives the best hugs. When I was younger, my brother heard me crying in my room. He knocked on the door and came in. Saw I was sad. Left to get me some chocolate, came back and gave me a huge hug and told me everything was fine. He’s honestly the best big brother I could have asked for and we have been blessed to be able to have him in our lives
Story 1: Nope, NTA. She might be dying, but the kid ain't, and he would have to live a long life knowing that OP didn't have his back if he let his monster of a mother stay Story 2: NTA, OP's husband is either trying to sabotage her career or he is trying to sabotage her career because when a "person with connections" actually wants to help you get a job, they will make a phone call, not barge in your interview Story 3: NTA, at this point it's OP's dog, not to mention that the dog ain't even the same one Story 4: NTA, if it ain't no big deal, OP's egg donor can repay him, and her taking care of him was literally nothing but her LEGAL obligation Story 5: NTA, uncivil is to offer your lap to a strange woman, and those women are the very reason why misogyny is still a thing
@@ruthpowell1944 Well I mean less funny in haha way & in more of a sort of ironic sense I wonder if she realizes this, of course she’d actually would have to acknowledge op’s son as an actual person.
I wish it happened more frequently. Instead, we live in a society where parents are encouraged to use sign language with their hearing babies and sensory play with their neurotypical children, but Deaf and autistic children get punished for signing and stimming.
Oooh, an idea! The Opie should post that her dog was diagnosed with hip dysplasia, kidney disease, anything that would be nice and expen$ive to treat. Bet the scammer would lose interest pretty fast after reading that.
Last Story: 100% NTA. OP didn't cause "a scene". Creeper McCreep did. Experience and example has taught Creeper McCreep that women don't want to bring attention to these situations so he creeped. Instead of just walking away, you called him out. And deservedly so. As for the people with their unsolicited comments that you were the inappropriate one for being audible to the rows behind, and their subsequent laughter, they're enablers more worried about reputation than respect. Silence and Invalidation of these experiences favours only predators and predatory behaviours
1st story: I had a 1st cousin with DS, he was one of the kindest and funniest people I have ever known. He passed due to heart issues at 30, it’s been more than 20yrs and I still miss him everyday. That woman is vile and did this to herself; much love to OP and good on you.
I can not believe these parents taking and thinking the children owe them a damn thing I have 4 children and they owe me nothing but give to me all the time mostly love and care
First, off OP a standing ovation for you for standing up for your son. Son/Step-Son/Not even a son who cares what label he is. First of all, you are all that he has and you chose to stand up be a man and be there for him. That shows true character. Everyone that says what you did was wrong and that you should allow your mother even for a short time to be dismissive to your son only shows the lack of character of those people. I am sorry for your mother but you did nothing wrong. But you should not feel guilty you did the best thing.
Wow. Just wow. I don't care who it is, you say something like that about any of my kids you'll be picking yourself up off the floor. That includes all of my family and friends
Second story: not only lock him out of the office, lock him out of the bedroom as well. "From now on you are sleeping on the couch and if you dare to come into the bedroom be prepared to lose your most favorite plaything. Btw: I'm making sausage and eggs for breakfast tomorrow. How do you like yours, sliced or smashed?"
Story 1- NTA and OP's dad skills?....**chef kiss** He loves both of his kids equally and was an absolute pro in standing up for his son and I see nothing but good things for OP being a heckin' amazing daddo and having a shiny steel spine. :3 Story 2- NTA when you get an opportunity, make like a faucet and RUN, guys like him are abusive control freaks who'll do everything to sabotage any opportunity their SOs find to grasp independence. You do not need this douchebag in your life. Story 3- NTA at all, you keep loving and cuddling your doggo, sounds like he's very happy and healthy :D The old owner can go kick rocks. Story 4- NTA that cow stole from you, she stole YOUR college fund to feed her vanity, sue the pants off of her and don't relent! Giving birth to you does not entitle her to YOUR money you worked hard for. I'd also be a petty bitch and press charges if possible. Story 5- NTA at all, gotta love a good mad lass willing to put a pervert in their place with a good clap back, those ladies who shamed you and were enabling a douchebag's shenanigans. Sure, there could have been a better approach but OP's tactic was quite effective too. [edit-was groggy from a post work nap]
Story1: Super-Gigantic NTA. She really said "Stick *IT* in a facility??? She's inhuman! She should count her lucky stars that OP didn't throw her out on the street right then and there! The flying monkeys can go to hell. If I were OP, I'd be happy to let her die alone.
1. When my grandfather was old and cheating at cards and being mean to everyone my dad started to argue with him and i advise he just let it go. Granpas time was short and was it really worth it? I remember this because my dad thanked me for it later. HOWEVER everyone grandpa was being mean to were adults or older children who would not be broken by the things he said so he could be given leeway. This mother said something awful about your son in front of your son. And yes he is your son. I can not advise to let that go. NTI.
Being sick or dying is not a can do or say what you want card, Op was right to kick her out,he has enough to deal with, listening to vile words daily wasn't going to help his health, good for you, and for those he said he is wrong , you take her in care for her and listen to her toxic words daily
That the ??? He was trying to help? He sounds like those Helicopter or overbearing mom's that ruin their kid's job opportunities by calling the work place, butt in interviews and things like that.
So she was interviewing for the job remotely. I think the people on the other end could hear the knocking which probably escalated to pounding at some point. So say they didn't hear it. She gets the job. What does he do after that? Maybe sabotages are on the backend but somehow he's going to get her to lose that job. Call a lawyer!
Good job! Her illness didn't affect her brain cells I'm sure if she had the foresight to buy her other grandchild and expensive toy. My daughter was shunned by her paternal grandparents for the most part because they only had boys. Good for dad this kid won't be a feeling like an outcast in his own home
My brother has cerebral palsy. I have autism. When I was young my aunt would always try to keep me away from her kids so they couldn't "catch the tism" and the same kind of went for my brother. Can't do a head with my aunt yelled at my dad to just pick him up and the stop having "it" walk. If I was to guess I was probably about 7 or 8. I am now 25 and never spoke to her since. And I never will
That's horrific! I've cut off toxic family too. My ex's cousin has Cerebral Palsy and one of their aunts took care of her a lot and her cousins bonded with her wonderfully. Her body is disabled but not her mind. She's had an amazing career as an advocate. Me and several of her cousins see her as the coolest person we know.
1st story nta people with the 'you need to be blood to be family' mentality make my blood boil, family is more than a bond of blood it's the love and care you give while raising a child/children that goes for half/adopted/fostered/affair or otherwise children deserve uncoditional love and a home to grow up in safely, good on op for protecting his son I bet wife from heaven is glad she married the right man.
About the dog. DO NOT send the other guy a bill for its room and board the last 6 years. If you do that then you're saying he does own the dog. Ignore him. There's no way for him to prove this was his dog. But if you make that offer to him you open yourself up legally. Give the puppy a bone and some scruffy's and live your life happily ignoring the other dude.
S1- not surprised. The older generation would stick them in a facility and forget about the special needs children. Today is a different world. I hope you have everything planned out for your passing and have planned whoever will take care of your son. I have a family friend whose been taking of her brother with special needs for 20+ years after their parents passed.
2nd OP's husband is throwing up a lot of red flags. He's not trying to help OP at all, he's trying to keep her dependent on him. No one and I mean no one takes their spouse to a job interview!
Who spends $3000 to “adopt” a dog? In any case, everyone I know that values their pets has them microchipped before bringing them home. I have both fancy purebred Siamese cats and a few formerly feral rescues and they are all microchipped and indoor only cats.
If you buy a purebred directly from a breeder there’s a good chance it’ll cost thousands I personally don’t see the point but a lot of people like the ego boost having a “purebred” animal gives them
First Story This is a teachable moment Op Did What His Mother Said And Put Her in a Senior Citizens Home As a teachable lesson Thank you Op. Second Story Get a divorce and Tell The Judge the reason for the divorce instant child support and spousal support for life problem solve.
Story 2: NTA. So your Husband what’s you to stay at home or work for him and that’s why he’s telling potential employers about you negative traits in interviews he was never invited to? Hun this reeks of toxic behavior.
that esh commentor for last story is so off the mark OP handled it beautifully it sucks it interrupted mic guy but the lap guy made the interruption worse with his awkward joke. you gotta know your audience for jokes, especially with strangers, especially with things that could almost be barrassment if taken further.
#2. OP, it sounds like husband sees your temporary disability as a golden opportunity to permanently handicap you in other ways. Right now it's about disempowering you & creating increasing dependence on him. You don't say how long you've been married, but did this sort of controlling behavior only show up after you married him? Anything you could look at as emotional or psychological abuse? This stuff tends to escalate over time ... Can you schedule your virtual interviews entirely when he's at work? (his reaction to that would be very informative) As for him saying you're childish &s/o: you outsmarted him & he's angry that getting what he wants isn't going the way he intends. Is that the sort of person you want to spend your life with? Applause for you for heading back into the workforce ASAP and continuing to defend your life choices as they fit ***you***, not someone who may just now be revealing who he really is, and his 'privileged' family.
Story 1- oh my god. I pray that isn't real cause how could she be sooo cruel. I mean I've met people that cruel, i just have a hard time comprehending it. Unbelievable
Ok first story set me off. My ex's mother was dying from stage 4 breast cancer and her daughter (L) was demanding that she spoil her kids and abandon mine because "at least she knew L's kids were blood related." (Mine were as well but maybe my blood wasn't good enough?) So MIL decided to spite L and the family (who were arguing about inheritance) and MIL started "spoiling" my youngest (8 at the time) in front of the family but wasn't actually treating her grandkids any different from each other. So L got all of the grandkids together and made them shun my youngest based on the spite between L and MIL. The kids go from attached at the hips to verbally abusive behavior while bullying my youngest. I stepped in and blocked L from my kids as L went way too far and refused to understand what they did at all. MIL, on the other hand, stopped acting like she could spoil one grandkid because she was dying and she spent the rest of her days trying to repair the relationship between the kids. The kids never made up but I saw how MIL tried to fix things and I forgive her. MIL passed years ago and the trauma of losing ALL of the cousins my youngest had still hurts them even now. One moment of weakness in the face of one's death is all it takes to forever destroy the way loved ones see that person in the end. The OP is protecting his son by doing what is right for him. Putting distance between the son and his mother. But please get the mother therapy. She's facing death but that isn't an excuse to be abusive.
OP NTA you money and she didn't even ask if she could use your money. Why would she use your money anyways when she said you had to pay for. Definitely call cops and sue mom.
Story 1. OP is awesome to make such a hard decision by removing a cancer from their life. I say that as someone who experienced many years of emotional trauma, due to a mother that blamed me for screwing up her life. My crime was being born, and she spent many moments trying to end my life. I'm high functioning autistic, but she's the one that's been in and out of mental institutions, diagnosed as bipolar psychopath.
I'm sorry to hear that. Both my kids are on the spectrum and as much as I love and REALLY WANTED my kids, I've often felt that I'm the one not good enough for them. I was finally diagnosed as being bipolar and have meds and therapy but still can't be totally free of that fear of not being good enough. But, they know I love them and they're the most important ppl in my life. My mom had me when she was too young and for lots of reasons, I've felt unwanted so I know that feeling. My mom takes care of me now, after my second breakdown so I do think she's changed her mind. Hugs to you. You didn't ruin anyone's life and I hope you have family that love and treasure you.
First story: Mom brought her situation on herself. Tell the relatives that if they don't want her to spend her last days in hospice, they are welcome to have her at their place, but that there is absolutely no way you will provide a home for someone who told you to put one of your kids in an institution.
First story. Good on you OP. Relatives can see patients in hospice any time day or night and stay as long as they want. Also hospice can medically care for her 24/7. What did she expect you to do? Quit your job or pay for a nurse?
If a pets owner did not get the pet microchipped he has no proof it was ever his pet. The person claiming the dog was his might just be dishonestly trying to acquire a valueable animal to sell.
Dog story makes me think that he didn't want to take care of the dog and dropped him off out of state hoping he wouldn't find his way back home and now that his kids are old enough to take care of him he wants it back.
![Seungmin "그렇게, 천천히, 우리(As we are)" | [Stray Kids : SKZ-PLAYER]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/kAzmhLHePqU/mqdefault.jpg)
“Listen, Mom I followed your advice and stuck you in a facility. That’s what is best for a burden, right?”
Lol. The mother actually shorted her lifespan w how angry she became
The facility was appropriate. All these people with opinions are not willing to take this woman in, including the sister. I hope his son wasn’t affected by that terrible remark.
The Mom did say “it” not “him.” Dad obviously removed the correct “thing” from his house.
*insert Leonardo DiCaprio wineglass meme*
When I heard the comment "mum: stick it in a facility. Son: sticks mum in a facility." I died laughing lol that's brilliant haha I would've said what mum you said to stick it in a facility so I followed your advice and put you in a facility 🤣
1st story: There is nothing mother can do or say to make up for her vile behavior. Glad "IT" went to an institution where it belongs. You have my respect and are a great dad. Wtg!
Bravo for protecting son from a vile grandmother. NTA
He did stick it in a facility before his life was ruined. Good advice.
if the sister thinks op is cruel she can move back and take her in, that boy is not a it
@@velvety2006 Or buy mother a plane ticket and fly her to her place. Either way works. Not that she will, the virtual signaller that she apparently is. We have a saying we say to people like that: "it's easy to flap others' dick through the nettles."
What a great dad...well done for having a shiny spine...love and happiness to all three of you❤
I love how OP’s mother says “stick it in a facility” …then when OP does exactly that (to her) suddenly he’s in the wrong.
OP should respond to everyone giving him crap with “she set the precedent of putting unwanted people in a facility, im just following her logic”
NTA OP and you are an absolute HERO imo, your son is lucky to have you
First story. OMG! I can't believe she said that! "Stick IT in a facility,"? That is beyond vile. My dad lived with us for several years before he died. If he had of treated any of the kids that way, he would have been gone. Anyone said a word to me about it would have been blasted for it. People with Downs Syndrome are angels on Earth.
I'd be asking that guy to please explain to me how the dog managed to get to my state from his state at 3 months old. And prove it please. I'm not buying his story at all and I would tell him so.
I would have asked those biddies how they would have responded to that scenario then.
Now she in facility hospice now she know how it feel.
Well, He did exactly what she wanted him to do, stick "IT" in a facility. granted "IT" was her and not his son.
My father keeps sheepdogs and he has to buy microchips because sheepdog pups are a valuable investment. But 3k for a Newfoundland and it wasn't chipped, that is iffy.
I agree with you, I bought a puppy with champion bloodlines from a breeder and the puppy was microchipped by the breeder before I ever received the puppy. The $3,000 story the man told seems unlikely.
The dog one is easy. Add up 6 years of vet bills, dog care, every expense. Then send him a bill, in no time it will cease to be an issue.
Honestly, who has the time as a single parent to look after two kids, one with a disability, and a mean old crone that will likely need a full-time nurse in a few weeks. Keeping her around the house just encourages her to be evil to everyone while you wait to pull the trigger on getting rid of her.
Just because someone is dying doesn't mean they stop being an A-Hole and automatically becomes a saint; once an A-Hole always an A-Hole.
First and foremost, my disclaimer:
I don't agree with what OP's mother did and said. People with Downs are such special people with the most beautiful, pure souls. Now, on to playing devil's advocate...
Your comment is absolutely spot on. Which means... the OP knew what their mother was like and still allowed the visit to go ahead. Even stating he was willing to have a week long trial period to see how things would go with the kids.
On top of that, OP's mother actually does have the choice to spoil one kid over another, she can play favourites. Whether we like it or not, those are her decisions to make.
Just as OP can have his mother removed from the house, can cut all contact or visit her in hospice. Those are his decisions to make. We can't take away another person's free will just because we don't agree with them, their behaviour, their comments, their actions, their choices, etc ad nauseum.
I would have turfed the woman out of my house for referring to a disabled person as "it". I know from personal experience what it feels like to be called "it" and "that" and to be ignored while my carer is addressed because a wheelchair automatically makes me incapable of intelligence and communication.
A-Holes gonna A-hole. They can’t help themselves.
@@ruthpowell1944 please, re-read what I wrote. It has not been edited to change any of the wording.
I did not say it was granny's RIGHT. What I said was it is her CHOICE. Choices and rights are two very different things where I'm from.
The woman's attitude, actions and behaviour are, without doubt, despicable. What is done can not be undone or changed.
Every single person on this earth can condemn the woman. It does not change the fact that she can choose what she does or does not do or say. We can not take away another person's choice, we can only make our own choices in response - as the OP did.
Favourites is a game no one wins. Including the favoured party. They are resented by everyone else who sees what is happening - whether they play into the game or not.
When I heard "stick it in a facility!" I was like bye bitch haha
On the interview story: I'd prolly have clapped back with something like: "I'M a child? You're the grown man throwing a tantrum for not being allowed inside a locked room for 10 minutes."
Along with "Help? You've botched *every. single. interview.* interview so far. Your track record is X/X total failures. Just accept you are useless at this and move on."
I am concerned for this woman too. Her husband is obviously sabotaging her attempts to get a job. That husband is a problem.
Husband is sabotaging OP's interviews. He's abusing OP and this should be divorce material.
Financial abuse all the way. He wants to control her by preventing her from getting an income and then make her beg for every little thing she needs so he can feel powerful and needed. There's nothing wrong with being a stay at home spouse or having a reasonable budget, but that's not what's going on here. He's sabotaging her independence with no regard to her well-being.
OP knows deep down what her husband is doing and that it's wrong. Hopefully she won't ignore these 🚩🚩🚩. He's sabotaging her interviews to control her financially. Next step he will take is to "mark his territory" at her new job by visiting her and speaking to her boss on her behalf behind her back.
He doesn't want her to work.
Dog: it might be a scam. Some people take random internet videos of animals, and use them to claim original ownership of expensive rescues.
Per the lost dog story: The dog was a puppy when he was "lost." It's been six years, and the dog has been with you all this time. He is YOUR dog, and probably doesn't even remember anyone else. Be sure you have him chipped and licensed, so you have proof of ownership. And be aware that this may not even be the same dog, considering the distance between the place he was lost and the place you found him. Dogs of the same breed can look very much alike; think how many dogs played Lassie, and most people never even realized that collies were being moved on and off cameras depending on what stunt they were trained to perform. If the guy who claims he lost your dog as a puppy has no proof other than photos of a puppy, and stopped looking for the dog years ago, he probably no longer has any legal claim on the dog.
Solid black Newfies look a whole lot alike. He could have gotten the pictures and video on the internet. Newfies are expensive and are often stolen for that reason. I'm suspicious of anyone that plays the Lost Dog card.
@@lorisewsstuff1607 also with how expensive newfies are why wasn't he wearing a chip or a collar, nah this guy wants a cheap already trained dog possible to act as a breeding dog if bear has not been fixed
yeah 3 mo old puppies don't travel long distances on their own. also puppy that age is either in house or supervised on yard.
either he just wants on for free or someone did manage steal it and dumped it. either way, dog belongs to OP.
I’d say “if it’s supposedly your dog that I’ve been looking after for 6 years then you won’t mind compensating me for all the vet bills, food, medications, toys and grooming. Total cost for 6 years of care is $12k”.
Wow, for a dying lady she sure was comfortable leaving that kind of legacy behind. Most dying people stories I hear, they're trying to get in as many good points as they can in the time they have left. I do enjoy the uno reverse card "stick IT in a facility" though, that part made me smile.
The husband is purposely sabotaging your interviews. He doesn't want you to work. What else is he interfering with??
It sounds like he’s trying to financially trap her by making her solely reliant on him.
Yeah. I wanted to ask how her knee got injured as that take kept going.
True, behavior like that rarely pops up out of nowhere. If OP thinks about it, there’s probably a long line of things undermining her confidence and independence leading up to this.
Dog story. Make sure you get Bear microchipped and find out to that guys address. If Bear goes missing, call the Humane Society in that area. They can check it out to see if they stole him. Also let your local cops know the situation just in case the AH shows up at your door demanding "his" dog. He said that they got 2 more dogs in that 6 yr timespan. Does he still have them or did they "run away" too?
His story also has a major flaw. They "adopted" bear yet also paid $3000 for him. Thats not adopted, that's bought.
Also your $3000 dog and you only put up posters in your own small town, and never bothered to get the dog chipped, I spend $3k on a dof I'm getting the dog a full medical and chipped within the week.
Also if he wants to play the money card, the response is "well I've cared for this dog for 7 years, so at market rate of $30 a day for a dog sitter, that's $76650 plus vets bill's", I accept payment in the form of cash or a specific $3000 dog, your choice. Admittedly you then need to hope he's not a millionaire.
Final Story: NTA. Hun, just because everyone else would be fine taking that misogynistic crap doesn’t mean you have too.
they probebly would also be whining about how inappropriate it would have been if she sat down
I would have said all sexy-like “how about you sit on my lap instead” 😉 and watch as he freaks out 😂
Hit them back with the same crap they give you and enjoy the freak out that inevitably happens every time.
The first story is shocking but doesn't really surprise me. I was a hospice nurse for several years and learned that "people die as they have lived." If they're selfish assholes all their life, they will not suddenly grow a halo when they're dying. If anything, they get worse. I tried to give all my patients the best possible care, because everyone should get that when dying, but some patients' deaths were a relief to me as much as to their families.
From another hospice nurse: AMEN
Holy cow, a friend of mine who works as an end of life care counselor and said the same thing. He said very few people have a “come to Jesus” moment when death is near. If they were wonderful people for most of their lives, that’s how they meet the end. If they were miserable jerks for most of their lives, that’s also how they meet the end. According to him, it never took long to figure out which was which.
I would like to challenge this a bit as I volunteered at an old folks home and met 1 guy that completely caught me off guard.
There was a sweet old man at the home that loved to play guitar and always had a kind word to say to everyone, including my black coworkers. It completely shocked us when we learned he was KKK till his 70s as he never even hinted at it.
We learned this after his passing where he left half his estate to the home, the other half to a black charity, and hand written letters to each of the workers that helped him thanking them for thier companionship in his last years.
His letters talked about his past and how he wished he had more time to make up for his failures and misdeeds. God, I actually miss him, he was so kind and his music was great.
@@stargazer378 During my years as a hospice nurse I met all sorts of people, from truly wonderful folks who met death gracefully to an old biker dude who kept a revolver under his sheet. After we learned about the gun we had to transfer him to a State facility with a whole lot more security
@@stargazer378 such a beautiful story--thank you.
Story 1: Dying or not, it doesn't give anyone the excuse to abuse anyone. She got what she deserved.
Story 2: It's clear he's been sabotaging the interviews bc he KNOWS you don't interrupt somebody's interview. This would be considered divorce worthy.
story 3: something doesn't add up. He wants his dog back after 6 years, but got 2 other dogs and already promised to get him back for the kids? but the dog ended up over in another state when it went missing? I think he got rid of that dog and then the kids found out years later because one of them tried looking in the facebook group.
That’s not her grand child she is no obligated to pay for or support anyone like that.
@@HisShadowX I think that you have it backwards. What you meant to say was that her son had no OBLIGATION to take in his poor excuse for a human mother. There, I fixed it for you!
She IS required to be civilized, which she wasn't by calling the child IT. She IS required to treat the kids equally as that was a requirement for staying in her son's house. That was her OBLIGATION. She HAD the opportunity to do so, but DECIDED on being a CRUEL MONSTER instead. She DID NOT meet the terms for housing her, so she got kicked out on her old crusty butt. She can have all of the opinions she wants at hospice away from those poor children. There she's not obligated to do anything, but die.
@@HisShadowX yep, and son had NO obligation to deal with that old hag’s shit until she dies. for someone that had nowhere to stay, she’s got a lot of fuvking nerve. old bats in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. NTA!
@@lucydean4028 Awesome reply!! 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
@@HisShadowX Ok boomer.
The story where the husband keeps sabotaging OP’s job interviews is the alarming classic beginning of a toxic, controlling abusive relationship- it’s blindingly obvious he wants to prevent her having any financial independence to make her totally reliant on him, he and his family continually attempt to erode her self confidence in her abilities, he refuses to acknowledge her basic human right to autonomy believing he has the right to dictate and override her wants and decisions. When she tries to put reasonable, healthy boundaries in place he continues to completely dismiss and disregard her opinions and feelings while also manipulatively invalidating her extremely valid complaints and concerns by twisting the narrative to make HER the irrational one and him the victim. It WILL get worse, especially since it appears he is already in a more financially and socially powerful position to her. You just know if she’s not careful she will end up pregnant very soon just so he has more influence to trap and control her. The level of narcissism and entitlement he displays is truly horrifying and I sincerely doubt anything you say or do will ever change that.
Last story, OP, I dont know know what kind of event you went to but I think your response to lap guy was correct and volume was good too. This made sure people were watching and he couldn't force you to do what you didnt want too. Also, it meant that people helped you find an empty seat. Yeah it might have interrupted the person on the microphone but people laughed and the night kept going on.
If TV’s taught me anything odds are it was full of rich old dudes who are so loaded their spouses overlook it so they can continue to enjoy the lifestyle (he’s rich, he can do anything he wants sort of thing)
Exactly. So a person on the mic was interrupted briefly. Nobody died. Telling her she should have spoken softer gives cover for that jerk to do something like that again. Women like that are the type to blame other women for their own harassment, then get angry with them for fighting back. Ugh.
I would have told those women if they had a strange man groping on them, they can be quiet if they want to but you refuse to be disrespected like that.
I’m sorry but in the last story, how is declining an offer for a guy offering his lap for a random woman considered poor behavior? Considering she doesn’t even know that creep.
Yep. That is absolutely inappropriate behavior toward anyone who isn't expressly advertising lap dances, and this wasn't an appropriate venue for it anyway. The correct response to the women later is, "Oh, so you condone his sexual harassment. Good to know."
Yeah, I would rather stand than sit in the lap of some random man. I don't care how nice looking that man was or if he screamed to the world that he was a nice guy- I would not be sitting in anyone's lap. I am not on that story yet, but if people are saying that OP is an AH for declining to sit in someone's lap, I am done with this world.
Mind you, there were people screaming at a woman online who posted a video of being followed by some creep for blocks when she was on her way back home. 'Maybe you should have asked him what he wanted'... uh, yeah... still done with the world after that one...
Six years. Nope. He didn't just lose the puppy, someone sent that dog away.
Six years is a very long time for somebody to want their dog back. OP found the pup and raised him and fell in love with him. The dog found an excellent family with OP and would only know OP as his person. If this was taken to court, OP would be considered the legal owner. Besides, if this man is from another State and the dog went missing there- how on earth did he end up in another State? I agree that somebody probably packed up that dog and sent him away.
Probably didn't expect to find that a Newfoundland dog would be huge and got rid of the responsibility.
@Gi Gi that's seems more plausible
@Gi Gi agreed, we used to have a large black lab the gooddest of boys and we have run into 2 or 3 doppelgangers since his passing, all the same, color, build and even how they walked a bit.
Story 1: NTA. She’s the reason she’s going to die alone in hospice care. It doesn’t matter the logistics of the situation! If you say he’s your Son then he’s your Son. She doesn’t have to like it but if she can’t respect it then she shouldn’t be surprised to be turned away.
not to mention how much is exactly 'months to live' vile people are creepily sturdy and she probably doesn't wanna leave after those two weeks
The lack of a toy for disabled child doesn't bother me as much as OP's mom calling the boy an it. Send it to foster care, she said. You'd think someone as close to meeting their Maker as this lady is that she would try to be nice to everyone.
The lack of a toy also isn't good. The clear favoritism. The boy would have only been hurt if she had stayed. She'd kept buying more toys only for the girl. He would never get one and lord only knows what vile would come out of her mouth when he asks why he didn't get one
“Stick IT in a facility”? Seriously?! SMH - kids with downs are AMAZING. So loving & kind.. Mom missed a beautiful opportunity to love him. This story made me sick & mad
That ESH comment is completely wrong. People should always draw attention to people who are creeps and their creepy behavior. If that happens to be at an event like that all the better. They should be made as uncomfortable as the person they are harassing. Maybe next time he'll at the very least be too afraid to open his mouth next time. 'Stay quiet during harassment because you may put someone out,' is always such a stupid mindset when it comes to situations like that.
I’m so sorry for OP whose mother stole from her college savings fund. She worked hard for that. Her mother was so selfish and VAIN!
It is bad, but unfortunately OP won't have any legal recourse for getting her savings back. Since she is a minor one or both parents would need to be on her account (I've heard that some banks in the US allow minors to be the sole account owner, but this isn't the case here), and since mom is on the account she is free to deposit and withdraw as she pleases.
Honestly teens need to understand how screwed they are if they have parents that steal from them or hold their livelihoods over their heads (e.g. "Go to X college/university and study what I want, or I'll throw you out at 18 with only the clothes you're wearing!") and prepare to go cagefree. Keep money on them instead of joint account, find their personal documents like birth certificate etc, find someone who'll take them in until their situation is more stable, and leave asap with no warning so the parent(s) can't guilt trip or sabotage these efforts to escape. There should be a guide written for helping teens escape controlling parents, and have it handed out in schools.
@@djdomain But it's earned income, not a gift. I think there is some recourse because of that.
@@ynmonroesadly not, it wasn’t until like 2008 that there were any legal protections for soldiers who’s wives did this kinda crap before leaving them and that was a HUGE issue, in comparison what’s happened here is relatively rare and therefore doesn’t garner much attention from lawmakers
from my 2nd marriage I gain 2 wonderful sons from her previous relationships. I couldn't imagine my life without them. I remember a while ago while visiting my father, he made a comment about them not being my sons as they're my wife's sons. I told my father that the situation is pretty simple. Either recognize them as my sons and his grandson's or we might as well say our good byes now as it'll be the last time we ever see each other again. He suddenly had a change of heart. That man paid $3k to "adopt" a dog? I doubt he paid that or if it's an adoption. If the guy truly wants his dog back tell him to fork over all of the money for food, vet, dog toys, and any other expense spent over the last 6 years plus interest. See if he really want the dog back than.
I am planning on getting a kitten in August, one of the first things I will do is have him/her chipped. 250 maybe isn't 3000 but i want people to be able to locate where he lives to incase he gets lost.
Yeah,my mom stole my inheritance and the money my relatives gave to my account . It's all gone ,and I can't do anything about now anymore ,but she is not welcome in mine and my three kids life at all..best decision in my life to go no contact with her .
Stories (parents) who steal from their children (or the reverse) make me so angry. I can’t imagine screwing over my kid. My parents can’t conceive of me doing that to them either. I’ve been on their accounts for 20 years (to make their lives easier) and not once stolen from them. Hopefully the way I’m raising my younglings they will be the same way.
@@missingbobsburgers you're very lucky and so are your parents to have an great son like you then ! I can't imagine stealing from my kids..all of them have an account where I put money in,never take anything ..that's why I never understood why and how could my own mom take from me.. It really makes me angry,that those kinda parents exist ..very aggravating and sad..
In what world do interviewers allow others to "join in"? Never ever have I heard of any job interview an able-bodied adult has a co-pilot for.
they don't, they maybe don't kick people when they decide to join but it also pretty much tanks you chance on the job
Exactly! As a disability support worker I have helped non able bodied people do interviews (ie: helping them ask any questions they had, checking what modifications they could offer like a special desk that fits a wheelchair, etc).
But this woman is able bodied and has mental acuity! He is just a controlling jerk who wants to financially control her so she has to be a stay at home wife.
Just because you have limited time doesn't make you licensed to be freely cruel.
What an awesome dad 👍
Story 3: NTA. NO! You are honestly telling me that a man that lost a one mouth old puppy, a puppy that just happened to wonder over a state line FYI, wants to just pick him back up 6 YEARS LATER!?! Not only would I not do it because I’m attached to the dog, I wouldn’t do it because he sounds incompetent.
“Sure you can have him back, but seeing as that would mean I’ve been babysitting him for 6 years, you owe me $12k in vet bills, food, worming medicines, flea treatments, toys and grooming”.
Guarantee he’d not be interested in wanting the dog back then...
Story 4: NTA. Sue her YESTERDAY. She has the nerve to tell you your on your own for college and then use the money you saved up FOR THAT EXPLICIT PURPOSE to get her Mellons enhanced!?! That was for your future and unless she’s trying to trap a rich Husband that’s not what it’s being used for.
I really hate too that the family are all, oh no big deal you can take out student loans. So a new pair of boobs for mom is more important than the child’s education and starting adulthood less burdened?! What the hell
I want to know why she gave her paychecks to mom to put in the bank? I bet mommy dearest put it in account in moms name only. Why didn't she open an account herself in her own name. I've had a bank account in my name since I was 12 years old. You don't need your parents permission or signature to open a bank account.
Good luck suing if the account was either joint or in moms name only. If that's the case mother can legally do whatever she wants with the money and OP has zero legal recourse.
@@rolandhansen812 Depends in the State you live in. Here minors need a parents signature.
@@rolandhansen812 According to Google you can't have an account only in your name as a minor at least in the US. I won't say other countries don't allow for that.
@@Mew_Mokuba_Akari I believe google is mistaken. I was born and lived my whole life in the USA. I had a bank account in my own name since the age of 12. No need for parents signature or permission.
OP's mother in the first story is outright cruel. She calls her grandson an 'it' just because the child has down syndrome? He may have a disability, but he's still capable of understanding when somebody doesn't like him. He's still able to listen and hear what is being said and has feelings. He probably even understood that grandma favoured his sister. The audacity of OP's mum for playing the victim when she did something wrong.
Mothers are not deities. They’re not some mythical being. They are flawed humans and are responsible for their actions, just looked every other human on this planet. Okay, she’s Mom. That doesn’t stop her from also being a thief, an abuser, a narcissist, an AH or any manner of crappy human thing. And they should be treated accordingly.
It sounds like the mom has been a terrible person her whole life and this was her son honoring a dying wish for one last chance. And she blew it in one sentence.
Sue the horrible theif. And tell your father and family that they may appreciate her new mounds but you don't because you had to pay for it. And why didn't help pay for it if they liked it so much.
WOW, looks like mommy dearest is determined to be an AH to the bitter end...
I’m glad he stuck her in a facility. She would have turned OP’s home into a hostile environment and destroyed the stepson’s self esteem and worth.
I have a brother with Down’s syndrome, I couldn’t even imagine someone saying this. I’d be absolutely FUMING. Hearing someone say that is absolutely disgusting. My brother is fully functioning and is able to do pretty much everything by himself. He’s incredible. And gives the best hugs. When I was younger, my brother heard me crying in my room. He knocked on the door and came in. Saw I was sad. Left to get me some chocolate, came back and gave me a huge hug and told me everything was fine. He’s honestly the best big brother I could have asked for and we have been blessed to be able to have him in our lives
Story one had me smiling like a Cheshire cat...even on her death bed OPs mother is spitting venom, that's what she'll be remembered for.
... I get not seeing someone that isn't your blood as a grandbaby, but holy shit that was VILE.
Dying does not excuse evil behavior.
Story 1: Nope, NTA. She might be dying, but the kid ain't, and he would have to live a long life knowing that OP didn't have his back if he let his monster of a mother stay
Story 2: NTA, OP's husband is either trying to sabotage her career or he is trying to sabotage her career because when a "person with connections" actually wants to help you get a job, they will make a phone call, not barge in your interview
Story 3: NTA, at this point it's OP's dog, not to mention that the dog ain't even the same one
Story 4: NTA, if it ain't no big deal, OP's egg donor can repay him, and her taking care of him was literally nothing but her LEGAL obligation
Story 5: NTA, uncivil is to offer your lap to a strange woman, and those women are the very reason why misogyny is still a thing
Last story: Assuming (which I don't believe for a minute) that it really was a joke, OP's joke was much funnier.
“Stick it in a facility” if my mother said that to me I’d kick her out of my house so fast she’d get whiplash.
It's always funny to see people who view the disabled as these broken "things" to be disgarded get a taste of their own medicine.
@@ruthpowell1944 Well I mean less funny in haha way & in more of a sort of ironic sense I wonder if she realizes this, of course she’d actually would have to acknowledge op’s son as an actual person.
I wish it happened more frequently. Instead, we live in a society where parents are encouraged to use sign language with their hearing babies and sensory play with their neurotypical children, but Deaf and autistic children get punished for signing and stimming.
Oooh, an idea! The Opie should post that her dog was diagnosed with hip dysplasia, kidney disease, anything that would be nice and expen$ive to treat. Bet the scammer would lose interest pretty fast after reading that.
My god what an awesome op, only thing that went trough my mind when he said "i stuck her in a facility" was batmans Groff voice with "Justice".
Last Story: 100% NTA.
OP didn't cause "a scene". Creeper McCreep did.
Experience and example has taught Creeper McCreep that women don't want to bring attention to these situations so he creeped. Instead of just walking away, you called him out. And deservedly so.
As for the people with their unsolicited comments that you were the inappropriate one for being audible to the rows behind, and their subsequent laughter, they're enablers more worried about reputation than respect.
Silence and Invalidation of these experiences favours only predators and predatory behaviours
Having limited time is not an excuse to be an Ahole... People who are dying need to be aware of this.
1st story: I had a 1st cousin with DS, he was one of the kindest and funniest people I have ever known. He passed due to heart issues at 30, it’s been more than 20yrs and I still miss him everyday. That woman is vile and did this to herself; much love to OP and good on you.
I can not believe these parents taking and thinking the children owe them a damn thing I have 4 children and they owe me nothing but give to me all the time mostly love and care
First, off OP a standing ovation for you for standing up for your son. Son/Step-Son/Not even a son who cares what label he is. First of all, you are all that he has and you chose to stand up be a man and be there for him. That shows true character.
Everyone that says what you did was wrong and that you should allow your mother even for a short time to be dismissive to your son only shows the lack of character of those people.
I am sorry for your mother but you did nothing wrong. But you should not feel guilty you did the best thing.
Wow. Just wow. I don't care who it is, you say something like that about any of my kids you'll be picking yourself up off the floor. That includes all of my family and friends
yeah, husband is trying to "guide you" into a financially dependent situation, OP 2. and that's the nice way of putting it.
Second story: not only lock him out of the office, lock him out of the bedroom as well.
"From now on you are sleeping on the couch and if you dare to come into the bedroom be prepared to lose your most favorite plaything. Btw: I'm making sausage and eggs for breakfast tomorrow. How do you like yours, sliced or smashed?"
Story 1- NTA and OP's dad skills?....**chef kiss** He loves both of his kids equally and was an absolute pro in standing up for his son and I see nothing but good things for OP being a heckin' amazing daddo and having a shiny steel spine. :3
Story 2- NTA when you get an opportunity, make like a faucet and RUN, guys like him are abusive control freaks who'll do everything to sabotage any opportunity their SOs find to grasp independence. You do not need this douchebag in your life.
Story 3- NTA at all, you keep loving and cuddling your doggo, sounds like he's very happy and healthy :D The old owner can go kick rocks.
Story 4- NTA that cow stole from you, she stole YOUR college fund to feed her vanity, sue the pants off of her and don't relent! Giving birth to you does not entitle her to YOUR money you worked hard for. I'd also be a petty bitch and press charges if possible.
Story 5- NTA at all, gotta love a good mad lass willing to put a pervert in their place with a good clap back, those ladies who shamed you and were enabling a douchebag's shenanigans. Sure, there could have been a better approach but OP's tactic was quite effective too. [edit-was groggy from a post work nap]
Story 4: I so want to see this case on Judge Judy! JJ would have torn that evil narcissistic mom apart! Too bad she doesn't film any more episodes!
@@nancyomalley6286 Agreed, that lady shows no mercy! :0
@@WyntheRogue IKR?
JJ would say "What's Wrong With You?!"
Not the idiot. Good for you. She will learn what it means to be stuck in.
Wow, your a great father ... despite your crazy mother...good job!!
1st dude is genuinely heroic.
Story1: Super-Gigantic NTA. She really said "Stick *IT* in a facility??? She's inhuman! She should count her lucky stars that OP didn't throw her out on the street right then and there! The flying monkeys can go to hell. If I were OP, I'd be happy to let her die alone.
If the flying monkeys went to Hell, they'd only be going home.
2nd story, the husband is a controlling, he doesn't want to wife to work, who attends someone elses interview? How embarrassing !!
Last story-- OMFG!!! LMAO!!!
Good job Dad. Good Job.
1. When my grandfather was old and cheating at cards and being mean to everyone my dad started to argue with him and i advise he just let it go. Granpas time was short and was it really worth it? I remember this because my dad thanked me for it later. HOWEVER everyone grandpa was being mean to were adults or older children who would not be broken by the things he said so he could be given leeway. This mother said something awful about your son in front of your son. And yes he is your son. I can not advise to let that go. NTI.
Being sick or dying is not a can do or say what you want card, Op was right to kick her out,he has enough to deal with, listening to vile words daily wasn't going to help his health, good for you, and for those he said he is wrong , you take her in care for her and listen to her toxic words daily
If my mother ever said something like that about my abopted kids. She would be dead to me. I wouldn't even visit her in hospist. Let the her cry alone
That the ??? He was trying to help? He sounds like those Helicopter or overbearing mom's that ruin their kid's job opportunities by calling the work place, butt in interviews and things like that.
No he doesn't want her to work he was trying to keep her unemployed plain and simple.
So she was interviewing for the job remotely. I think the people on the other end could hear the knocking which probably escalated to pounding at some point. So say they didn't hear it. She gets the job. What does he do after that? Maybe sabotages are on the backend but somehow he's going to get her to lose that job. Call a lawyer!
You’d think that someone knocking at death’s door would be a little less evil.
Good job! Her illness didn't affect her brain cells I'm sure if she had the foresight to buy her other grandchild and expensive toy. My daughter was shunned by her paternal grandparents for the most part because they only had boys. Good for dad this kid won't be a feeling like an outcast in his own home
My brother has cerebral palsy. I have autism. When I was young my aunt would always try to keep me away from her kids so they couldn't "catch the tism" and the same kind of went for my brother.
Can't do a head with my aunt yelled at my dad to just pick him up and the stop having "it" walk. If I was to guess I was probably about 7 or 8.
I am now 25 and never spoke to her since. And I never will
That's horrific! I've cut off toxic family too.
My ex's cousin has Cerebral Palsy and one of their aunts took care of her a lot and her cousins bonded with her wonderfully. Her body is disabled but not her mind. She's had an amazing career as an advocate.
Me and several of her cousins see her as the coolest person we know.
1st story nta people with the 'you need to be blood to be family' mentality make my blood boil, family is more than a bond of blood it's the love and care you give while raising a child/children that goes for half/adopted/fostered/affair or otherwise children deserve uncoditional love and a home to grow up in safely, good on op for protecting his son I bet wife from heaven is glad she married the right man.
why didn't the mother take out a loan for her non-essential surgery?
Why should she when all that FREE money was sitting right there. Entitled parents folks.
@@ruthmeow4262 I just hope OP takes her to the cleaners!
Umm just because they look alike doesn't mean it is the same dog even if it is 6 years dude is trippin.
Indeed. Get it down to brass tacks. Bill them for six years of food and Veterinary Care. Some breeds look so much alike!
@Gi Gi That is what I am thinking too.
About the dog. DO NOT send the other guy a bill for its room and board the last 6 years. If you do that then you're saying he does own the dog. Ignore him. There's no way for him to prove this was his dog. But if you make that offer to him you open yourself up legally. Give the puppy a bone and some scruffy's and live your life happily ignoring the other dude.
S1- not surprised. The older generation would stick them in a facility and forget about the special needs children. Today is a different world.
I hope you have everything planned out for your passing and have planned whoever will take care of your son. I have a family friend whose been taking of her brother with special needs for 20+ years after their parents passed.
First story: OP you rock!...and you mom will probably be going to a very VERY "warm place" for a looooong time.
1st story… Love it!
2nd OP's husband is throwing up a lot of red flags. He's not trying to help OP at all, he's trying to keep her dependent on him.
No one and I mean no one takes their spouse to a job interview!
Who spends $3000 to “adopt” a dog? In any case, everyone I know that values their pets has them microchipped before bringing them home. I have both fancy purebred Siamese cats and a few formerly feral rescues and they are all microchipped and indoor only cats.
If you buy a purebred directly from a breeder there’s a good chance it’ll cost thousands
I personally don’t see the point but a lot of people like the ego boost having a “purebred” animal gives them
Mother: "College for my child, or Cosmetic surgery because I'm about to be left alone?"
First Story This is a teachable moment Op Did What His Mother Said And Put Her in a Senior Citizens Home As a teachable lesson Thank you Op. Second Story Get a divorce and Tell The Judge the reason for the divorce instant child support and spousal support for life problem solve.
Story 2: NTA. So your Husband what’s you to stay at home or work for him and that’s why he’s telling potential employers about you negative traits in interviews he was never invited to? Hun this reeks of toxic behavior.
Good afternoon XOS. Thanks again for the stories. Mom is where she needs to be. Have a great t
that esh commentor for last story is so off the mark
OP handled it beautifully
it sucks it interrupted mic guy but the lap guy made the interruption worse with his awkward joke. you gotta know your audience for jokes, especially with strangers, especially with things that could almost be barrassment if taken further.
I doubt puppy got that far without help! That pup was dumped! Keep him!NTA!
#2. OP, it sounds like husband sees your temporary disability as a golden opportunity to permanently handicap you in other ways. Right now it's about disempowering you & creating increasing dependence on him. You don't say how long you've been married, but did this sort of controlling behavior only show up after you married him? Anything you could look at as emotional or psychological abuse? This stuff tends to escalate over time ... Can you schedule your virtual interviews entirely when he's at work? (his reaction to that would be very informative) As for him saying you're childish &s/o: you outsmarted him & he's angry that getting what he wants isn't going the way he intends. Is that the sort of person you want to spend your life with? Applause for you for heading back into the workforce ASAP and continuing to defend your life choices as they fit ***you***, not someone who may just now be revealing who he really is, and his 'privileged' family.
Story 1- oh my god. I pray that isn't real cause how could she be sooo cruel. I mean I've met people that cruel, i just have a hard time comprehending it. Unbelievable
Ok first story set me off.
My ex's mother was dying from stage 4 breast cancer and her daughter (L) was demanding that she spoil her kids and abandon mine because "at least she knew L's kids were blood related." (Mine were as well but maybe my blood wasn't good enough?) So MIL decided to spite L and the family (who were arguing about inheritance) and MIL started "spoiling" my youngest (8 at the time) in front of the family but wasn't actually treating her grandkids any different from each other. So L got all of the grandkids together and made them shun my youngest based on the spite between L and MIL. The kids go from attached at the hips to verbally abusive behavior while bullying my youngest. I stepped in and blocked L from my kids as L went way too far and refused to understand what they did at all. MIL, on the other hand, stopped acting like she could spoil one grandkid because she was dying and she spent the rest of her days trying to repair the relationship between the kids. The kids never made up but I saw how MIL tried to fix things and I forgive her. MIL passed years ago and the trauma of losing ALL of the cousins my youngest had still hurts them even now.
One moment of weakness in the face of one's death is all it takes to forever destroy the way loved ones see that person in the end. The OP is protecting his son by doing what is right for him. Putting distance between the son and his mother. But please get the mother therapy. She's facing death but that isn't an excuse to be abusive.
OP NTA you money and she didn't even ask if she could use your money. Why would she use your money anyways when she said you had to pay for. Definitely call cops and sue mom.
OP in story 1 is the biggest NTA in reddit history.
Story 1. OP is awesome to make such a hard decision by removing a cancer from their life.
I say that as someone who experienced many years of emotional trauma, due to a mother that blamed me for screwing up her life.
My crime was being born, and she spent many moments trying to end my life.
I'm high functioning autistic, but she's the one that's been in and out of mental institutions, diagnosed as bipolar psychopath.
I'm sorry to hear that. Both my kids are on the spectrum and as much as I love and REALLY WANTED my kids, I've often felt that I'm the one not good enough for them.
I was finally diagnosed as being bipolar and have meds and therapy but still can't be totally free of that fear of not being good enough.
But, they know I love them and they're the most important ppl in my life.
My mom had me when she was too young and for lots of reasons, I've felt unwanted so I know that feeling.
My mom takes care of me now, after my second breakdown so I do think she's changed her mind.
Hugs to you. You didn't ruin anyone's life and I hope you have family that love and treasure you.
story 1: NTA, but -gad damn-, Op doesnt tolerate no disrespect to his boi. Good on him.
2nd story: OP might point out one high paying job she could get with his connections is 'widow'.
First story: Mom brought her situation on herself. Tell the relatives that if they don't want her to spend her last days in hospice, they are welcome to have her at their place, but that there is absolutely no way you will provide a home for someone who told you to put one of your kids in an institution.
First story. Good on you OP. Relatives can see patients in hospice any time day or night and stay as long as they want. Also hospice can medically care for her 24/7. What did she expect you to do? Quit your job or pay for a nurse?
If a pets owner did not get the pet microchipped he has no proof it was ever his pet. The person claiming the dog was his might just be dishonestly trying to acquire a valueable animal to sell.
Yooooooo
Dying does not stop stupid!
"Stick it in a facility"
He did tho
2. What kind of adult interferes with another adults job interview? Is he your helicopter parent? This is so far out of bounds it is ridiculous.
1st story, Your mother is not a nice woman, you are a good farther, he is your son and is lucky boy to have a good dad like you.
Dog story makes me think that he didn't want to take care of the dog and dropped him off out of state hoping he wouldn't find his way back home and now that his kids are old enough to take care of him he wants it back.
Story 1: NTA. At least OP's cousin is on his side.