should women settle for less?
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 6 окт 2024
- DISCLAIMER: NOT ALL MEN. NOT ALL MEN!
Obviously, at least I hope it’s obvious.
Just some thoughts I’ve been having based on some of the comments I’ve received on some of my videos from the blackpill and redpill community.
I feel like I might get some backlash on this, but I’m just speaking my mind and this is my opinion. Thanks for watching. :)
I got a new travel mic! It’s my first video with getting used to it so sorry if there’s any weirdness in the audio. To those of you here, thanks for watching have a wonderful day (:
![Natanael Cano - Amor Eterno [Official Video]](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/EO4prCs6WpM/mqdefault.jpg)
As a 61 year old male, my opinion is DO NOT GET CAPTURED!! DO NOT SETTLE!! I was "captured" by an "unknown to me at the time" narcissistic woman and was "forced" to get married, because it "felt" like the right thing to do. They say men tend to marry someone like their mother, but this one is my mother squared! The same domineering, controlling, never wrong (but you are). If I had any f'ing clue I would have run the other way and found a shy woman, more like myself, and probably would have been divorced in 5-10 years. 32 years later she's just retired at 62, and I will be working for the rest of my life to support her. My ONE LIFE has probably been wasted. But my nihilistic view on life keeps me married, just accepting my life, vs. ruining the life of my wife and 2 kids. I just suck it up and take it. It certainly could be worse. Maybe "next time" (life) I'll make a better choice.
Exactly people don't talk about this! People always want to talk about "they were married for 50 years and so happy" but what about the people who's lives were completely ruined by getting married. I'm a woman so I don't know the man's side of things, sorry but I'm not "settling" for someone I have be with for the rest of my life that's crazy. My parents got married super young did it the "right" way my mom stayed home and took care of the kids but my dad still cheated and now they're getting divorced and they've both had to restart their lives. Just because you think you marry the right person at 20 something doesn't mean it's going to work out. I'm sorry that sounds like hell. I'm also genz so we really saw from a youg age the sort of "perfect traditional family" isn't really worth it or real my parents are happier separated they were very happy for a long time but knowing someone for 30 years gets tiring after a while. Things change.
@@Blue.velvet.0124You absolutely nailed it. I feel the same way
As a 36 yo male, thanks for the advice.
I feel like people should do what makes them happy if you wanna settle down and have kids do it if you wanna be childfree and have a career do it you have one life do what makes you happy, but I love how some of your videos you talk about loneliness because that is where I am going to go with my videos talking about loneliness the last video I posted was how loneliness can contribute to daydreaming
@@JayPlayToonZ Yep, totally agree.
@@AnLittleAlex Can I link your channel in the description of one of my videos it's because your videos have inspired me to speak about a certain topic?
Firstly, that's a dam nice chair. I've never liked the traditional system and never will believe in it. As a male, I see so many other males openly talk about how they want a more "traditional" wife. I can't blame all of them. Some of their parents brought those ideas upon them and some have been influenced by some influencers. If they want a traditional life, they can have it. If they want a life where it isn't traditional, they can have it. They all though have to put in the effort and that's what I see many people lack today. Men are also quite misunderstood as a lot of women just say they want things like sex. For some men that is certainly true but definitely not all men. If men took their time into understanding women better and women took their time into understanding men better, I think that would help everyone a lot.
@@sfire8111 Yup, totally. We are at a really strong divide right now.
Addidas (All day I dream about socks). Good video, tho! You are still young. It's better to date around than just settle on one person you don't like. Or just be single.
Proud of you. You are doing a great job. Strange, I have been logging in for dosages of sanity lately. Hearing talks from you and Toniann (from "The Box" youtube channel) Gives me a lump sum of hope for humanity. I now have this blanket feeling that all gen Z are well thought creatures, oh why is my mind so black and white? haha.
Alex (26) I dont want to settle.
Alex (30+) Where are all the men at. Why isnt anyone approaching me?
By the way. Women are not divorcing because they have careers. They're doing it because they benefit from divorce. Settling down for women is telling men "Youre to short and I dont want to settle" or "You dont make a million dollars and I dont want to settle".
If I said to you "you have a big forehead and it looks like youre balding - I dont want to settle for you" you would feel insulted. Men are constantly insulted by women for simply existing. If you dont want anything to do with us, then we'll go where we're appreciated.
Aren't women insulted by men as well?
Interesting. Traditional = unhappy
You are a smart person life is gonna get way better for you trust me and trust your work.
i tried to be very emotionally intelligent and everyone shut me down as a boy/man and so i learned to be a robotic unemotional machine and now i want emotional intimacy but ive lost it
@@bonfire302 Honestly, I really do empathize with the struggles men face in regards to showcasing their emotions. It’s not easy in a world that tells you you’re not accepted for it. But is it truly worth it at the end of the day to dim yourself to the point of complete apathy? I’m not sure.
I don't think it makes sense for anyone to want to have children these days. The vast majority of our worst problems are directly caused by copious amounts of pointless reproduction.
I think women should do what they wanna do. Just lead with love. It will guide you in the right direction ❤️
@@Inseptembertowers totally agreed.
It's hard either way. Everyone wants different things. I think it's important that everyone try to do what they want, instead of follow what other people say. You can choose to be an idealist and "hope" or you can be pragmatic and "settle." Just do what you feel is right for you and at least you will have made your own decision. We all try our best in life.
@@PromisingPod yep, yep yep. Well said
Define "less".
I'm not a traditional man, I'm just younger than a boomer. In my youth I was a bit of a player. But having kids was the best thing that ever happened to me. You are in danger of painting all men with the same brush here. We men also have feelings, and we're not all the same. You say "men refuse to have any sort of understanding and openness to how things have changed"? That's a bit of a general statement! Men are people too, we come in all kinds and many of us are good husbands and fathers. Don't be too negative about all men.
@@juliangilbert5465 Totally, I put a disclaimer in my description that I’m not talking about all men :) just the ones in my comments that believe that the fix all of any woman’s issues is to “get married and have kids.”
I’ve met a lot of wonderful men in my life.
Im a 22 year old man and Im completely invisible and irrelevant to everyone around me. Its extremely lonely but insanely peaceful. I can work hard without any obstacles or bs because nobody cares for me. Its crazy lol. I get good at everything because I feel so free
It is a wonderful thing to feel free :)
HOSEA 2:4-5
Ezekiel 16:38
1 Corinthians 6:18
JOHN 12:25
I really appreciate the video as it has given me a bit to think about while also thinking to myself if i should “settle down” or carefully take a risk with some people. So I thought I'd share my thoughts, but it's all it is, thoughts, don't think I'm suggesting anything here…
As I approach my 40s, I've realized that while I've focused on my career and financial goals, I've let potentially great relationships slip by. Now that I'm older, and being alone gets more difficult, I find the value of mutual support seems to outweigh the idea of finding 'the one.'
Entering the dating scene feels daunting since my past relationships were with women I had known for some time. So, having to really step outside my comfort zone. I often find myself being the one rejected rather than the one doing the rejecting as a result. However, when I choose not to call or text them back, I notice it's easier to find a flaw and retreat into my comfort zone rather than just trying it out a little longer.
I watching this. I thought to myself, “Maybe it's not the person who makes the relationship special, but rather the relationship itself (or shared experiences) that make someone special.” Perhaps investing more time and effort into building connections, even outside our comfort zones, can lead to fulfilling relationships.
As you said however there is a risk like divorce, betrayal, ended up with something that makes you less happy than being alone. I guess we just have to ask ourselves if its worth the risk.
I wish you the best in finding someone, and hope if you do take a risk, it pays off.
Tough one, because the biological clock is real, the older women before you will tell you that motherhood is one of the greatest things you can experience and the ones who never had kids universally say it's one of their biggest regrets. Maybe not settle when you're in your 20s but eventually most women should go with their best option before too late.
I think being able to meet someone you end up deeply loving is actually quite rare nowadays, sadly our culture is producing more narcissistic, capitalist, materialist, competitive people and less romantics.
Btw you might need one of those fluffy things for the mic to block out any wind of exhaling sounds.
It’s tough for sure. The stress is real for women. I know motherhood is totally fulfilling, and I’m sure I would feel the same way, but is it worth it to settle down just to experience being a mother by sacrificing my own happiness, or would it be better to never have children at all. It’s tough, especially the way society currently is.
@@AnLittleAlex you really have an issue with "settling down" listening to you almost sound like "settling down for anyone less attractive than leonardo dicapicrio, would be a nightmarre". Settling down is learning that we all have fantasieS about some famous or beautiful persons, or life goals but we might not to ending up with them and there's no problem with it, we can all live an extremly fufilling lifes with and average looking partner and a normal life, as long there's love and appreciation in what YOU DO HAVE, instead of seeing your entire life as settling down for stuff. Why not learning to apreciate thoses stuff instead of looking down on them ? Happiness often lies in the simple things of life, like eating a tasty meal, laughing with the people you like/love, enjoying a walk on a parc or in the wilderness, seeing you kids growing and become healthy and beautiful adults and enjoying every bit of the ride...
At the same time, a lot of people don't get what they want. So if the choice is between being unhappy and being unhappy, wouldn't you choose the unhappiness where you have more control over your life?
To an extent, men also settled down with women, we live in a time with lots of homogeneity, way too many people, you can basically go anywhere and meet anyone, there’s apps and sites, all of our standards have risen because the dating/social pool has expanded to basically be the entirety of a continent,
For thousands of years you where a farmer in a village and you and all the other men would want to date the best girls (which may not be the best but it’s a village in like Kentucky in 1822, tf you gonna do, go to New York?), it being a community also helped with standards because now the dating pool holds eachother accountable to be better (in an ideal sense), and to an extent women had the power in choosing the men because well- they chose the men to date, but the pool was always super limited so ultimately it would be what we consider “settling”. We’ve stripped society of this and I think that’s what’s creating lots of issues, everyone is the same, standards have risen only because there’s more people, people are interchangeable, everyone’s depression is going up, etc etc,
In essence, people should get offline and actually talk to people irl (and probably form communities based on neighborhoods, diversity of people in an community is super important for cohesion), it’s cringe to say some girl would be better off with kids, it’s clearly our biological goal but the people who say that to randoms probably smell like cheese, though where I come from settling down just means finding the right person which yeah, everyone should do at their own pace, rushing that shit gonna get you killed or something idk
(Note: I do come from a super small town where everyone knew everyone, it still exists these days and you usually know who is and isn’t going to be really crappy 💀)
growing up is understanding that you dont always get what your want but learning to appreciate what you have or can have. That's actually the key to hapinnes both materially and in term of relationship.
btw: you are all speaking of emotion that you want about men, when in reality is that y'all want the top 10% of men in term of wealth and beauty and cant comprehend that all women cant all have thoses top 10% becaues well they are only 10% of the population. You are not the 1st choice for thoses mens and the therefore treat to like disposable, but instead of inderstanding this obvious and simple math, you try to "change them" when you simply cannot. And therefore you would prefer being alone than than "settling down" with a men who isnt in this top 10%.
the 10% number is quite abitrary but that's the idea.
None of y'all even look at thoses average men, its consired like settling down, like seriously who do you all think you are ? Ego and crazy expectation you all have been feed watching to much social media is the problem both for men and women, but women are probably more hit this delusion
Perhaps ur chasing after emotionally unavailable bad boys/ chads, then whine about how men are not emotionally available. If you have shallow preferences, you end up in shallow relations.. this is a problem created entirely by vvomen btw, so may want to reexamine your sob stories.
This talk like "you will get old and lonely and you will regret" is a consolation prize of desperate guys. They forget the fact, that there's so many desperate men, willing to save women in distress, that no matter the age, most women don't need to worry a bit. Maybe the pool and quality of men changes, but there's no real rush.
Facts bro men are so abundant dating wise for women (coming from a man). Honestly it makes more sense for a women shoot for her perfect choice because if it doesn’t work out they will mostly be multiple backup options for emotional and financial security.
@@CJJay-mz7ey There's a bit of irony in my comment though bro... For both sexes, it's obvious that you can catch the best partner when you are in your "peak" sexual market value. We still are under laws of nature and those peaks are different for men and women. If a woman wants men that are their peak value, she should think about their standards and what's attractive to them too. That's the reality and no wishful thinking can change that. Men that worked their ass off to better themselves have standards too. But the funny reality is that low value men think that a woman "after 30" is in "trouble". She's not. She will still have tons of options more than 80% of male population. He won't be the prince from a fairy tale that she imagined when she was 16, but it was her choice not to pick a man when she was in her peak.
Find you an older guy who's owns his stuff(not rent or makes payments)...then you can work,try new things etc etc and if it don't work out you got something to fall back on💵....oh and when he dies you get all his stuff 🤣(provided your married to the older guy)...or you could even hire someone to "make him disappear" like on the crime shows ...and you will get all his stuff faster ...or you will gotta prison🤷♂️🤣
Sound advice, love is alive and well haha!
@@thethinkerer also a great way to get on a crime show 🤣
From what I have seen, my generation don't know 💩. Self centered 🐂💩. Too many of them rushed into that end game with a revolving door of "partners". Using different coping methods to soothe. Now they are older and karma is coming in to visit.
Best advice is get out there and meet people. Get to know them without the intention to date or 🦴. Just be curious about people and ask them questions. Find a community. Talk and learn. Older, younger, it don't f'n matter. It's about building people skills, self-confidence, and minimize any person issues. Eventually you should meet your soulmate when you are not looking for them.
Am I missing anything?
@@shawngoral3987 you nailed it.
As a guy, I do believe there exist other guys that are feelers, emotionally intelligent, and mature. Theory: Maybe they're the shy ones? 😄
That chair looks comfy
My happy place(:
I'm 20 years old, I'll leave the girls, I'll make a career
💪
@@AnLittleAlex ❤
I know a person who, when she was young, around your age, looked happy. When you looked into her eyes, she seemed full of life. Then she met someone, and they had kids. Her husband is older than her. They look happy together in family photos, but in pictures where she is alone, she looks a bit sad, a bit chubbier than before, and lifeless, as if she were there only for her kids and wanted something else from her life. But that could just be someone's imagination... But let's say it is as I think it is. :)
Regarding settling down, everyone has it different. Some want to settle quickly. They do, but there is a possibility they weren't a good match. They are still young enough to divorce and have a semi-okay life after that, and start again, or they struggle together and are a bit or completely unhappy.
Others don't settle quickly and wait for the right one, wanting to travel, see things, and live life to the fullest. That's also okay and an option.
Eventually, it gets to the point where almost all your friends will have kids aged 5-10 or more when you're about ten years older. Then, perhaps, the option of settling down would feel more urgent, but not right now. Finding someone for life by the age of 35 is a good plan, but if someone wants to live alone after that and is okay with it, then why not?
I think women these days have better options to choose from, and perhaps it was that way in some ways every century before. They are mostly the ones who can choose, even when they are older, 35 and more. They can have the same jobs as men, they are more mature in the things they want, and they are more independent these days. They can choose when they don't want men in their life, or not right now.
But I have hope, yet :)
Thank you so much for sharing :)
Dope swing chair
@@Sierra-Whiskey22 thank you! 🤗 I love it
People who preach to you about settling down getting married and having kids and just kind of telling you like that's what you should do is kind of BS and it tell you the truth I don't really like those kind of people that basically say that that's what you need in life as a woman to be happy and be fulfilled and all that because at the end of the day it's your choice you decide if you want that you know but it takes time for that and plus you don't want to like rush into that because you rushed into that you want to not just being miserable but then so does your husband and kids and then you have to go to a messy divorce and all that kind of crap so what I'm saying is is that like if you are being told by older men or just men in general like sit down and have some kids that will feel the avoiding all you know know you got to like know yourself first before you decide to go out with and do outwards stuff setting down is a preference more than a yes or no and don't let anybody call you or tell you that like you need to settle down. Just always remember that there is a choice and you have a right to that choice you know and you don't feel like you want to like settle down then don't
you are very attractive enjoy your life
she is really cute. Love her voice too.
You deserve the best. No one should ever have to settle men are the dumber of both men and women. You are an intelligent woman, way too intelligent to just settle down
We only have 1 life. Always do what makes you happy. You would make a good mom, though.
Thank you:) one day hopefully.
nice chair 👍
Coming from the perspective of a man that doesn't see the benefits of long-term romantic relationships for western men I agree its hypocritical when men say women should only have one path to happiness. If she is fine on her own and isn't using men to fund her lifestyle (sugar daddies, simps), why feel the need to put her down or say she would be happier in a relationship? I'll just say that an increasing number of men in my age group (20-30s) don't put effort because it's obvious how western women tend to chase men who have top tier looks/status but will more than likely never give them the commit they want. These Chads don't need to have any of the positive traits many women say they want but still sleep with them faster than the good character man they reject or make wait much longer for any bedroom interaction. Then when they are older thats when they give attention to the average stable guys, they ignored or left in their prime family making years. Dating for men is like applying for a job these days and with this economy I at least think it's better to put energy into that, keeping a close circle of friends, and finding hobbies you enjoy.
Facts. Men need to realize that dating, especially in the western world, is really all about hypergamy. If women want the best then a lot of men will be left out (so basically men are settling as well if not at higher rates, because women really desire to date up in every facet of life). Men need to find a way to decanter women/validation from having women and build up their mental health, physical health, and social lives/hobbies. Trying to be the man women say they want will never work in your favor
my mom had me past 35
I am the pentacle of man, I am the User I am meant to be, I truly can never give if what meant to exist is around you if you exist and what meant to exist is existing around you presently regardless of distance you are from both each other. I can not ever give but know this I can never control how you feel or what you are meant to do. Whoever you are to yourself were ever you are meant to be at you are you always for each today you must experience and have, do you always
I will never understand patriarchy. As cliche as it sounds, I'm one of those people who is willing to wait until I find my soulmate than to settle down with a random stranger.
Only settle for the best. I would settle 😊Thank you for the video video.
you are so hot little alex
I hate the fact that some men they want to make it go back to like the 1950s or before the 1950s it's very off-putting and it's very like before women have the right to vote or have the right to speak their mind and it's like women should stay at home have kids and make dinner and I'm like no women can do as much as men do if they chose not to have kids and they're struggling what you were doing right now she can find her own path she can find her own meaning in life she doesn't have to like old kids and getting married at all the answer no it's basically what she wants and what she decides at the end of the day it's her choice
You are showing an abnormally high degree of investment in this subject. You come off as unhinged and creepy. Take a walk.
The guys who suggest settling are the type of guys who cant get anything, it starts to make sense when you think about it.