@@rihasanatrofolo2472 We have a lot of weapons in Norway, actually we are the 11th on the list over countries with most guns per person - USA topping that list of course. But it cant be compared, we have a totally different culture around guns. It's also not as liberal as it is made out to sound, you need to have a gun license to carry shooting weapons here. 18 is the legal age for rifle and hunting weapons. Revolver or pistol you have to be 21. Yes, you can in some cases get hunting rifles at 16 but for that there are stricter rules. The police also do background check on you and you need to have a good reason for owning a gun. Hunting, competitions, target practice etc...are example. The reason why we are high on the list is mostly because of hunting. People here have huge respect for guns and most people believe owning guns for self-protection leads to more gun violence. Even the police doesn´t carry guns as a default, that has to be pre-approved based on the situation they are entering. The reasoning for that it's for their own protection, criminals react more violently if they know the police are entering with weapons. US has 113 guns per 100, Norway has 32 guns per 100. There are yearly 40 000 deaths by guns in the US, here we had 2 by guns in 2017, none in 2018 and 3 in 2019. Its a mentality thing. Dont be scared, we are doing fine.
@@rihasanatrofolo2472 I don`t think the rules are liberal at all. You have to take a course and pass an exam and background check by the police after that. Yeah you can have weapons earlier, but then you have to have a sponsor that has a weapon license for that specific caliber and weapon and that is responsible for you and your actions while handling the weapon. Weapons are viewed very differently here and in the US I feel. Over there it feels like a must have for protection and everyone has them and can get them easily. While here it is way more for recreational purposes, sports shooting or hunting. I personally know a whole bunch of people that have weapon licenses and own shotguns, rifles, pistols including myself and I don`t know anyone that owns a weapon for self defense. There are strict rules for how to keep a weapon at home, it has to be locked up securely at all times and there is strict rules for taking a weapon outside, it has to be secured, a critical part has to be removed at all times during transport or while its in a car so if its stolen it can`t be used etc. You can`t just walk with a loaded pistol in your handbag and point it into someones face here if they piss you off.
As a Danish 19 year-old myself, i find these cultural differences very interesting. I guess we really do have a high level of independence from quite a young age. This video really made me appreciate my country and its culture more than ever. Because now I understand the privilege that comes with having this independence.
I think the reason we curse a lot is because its english curse words. And I belive they don't sound so harsh to us. But the few curse words we have in danish have a totally different feel
There's plenty of Danish cursewords that are more common i daily speech than niceties, like 'sgu' 'for satan' 'kraftedme' etc. Etc. They are so common they aren't even considered cursewords anymore.
When i had my first day in elementary school, i would cycle to school followed by my dad, when we arrived he said "now remember the route, that is the same way you cycle home". And i cycled alone from/to school everyday ever since. Very Danish way of trusting their children!
I think this is common in northern Europe. I'm from Finland and this sounds normal to me. My mother walked with me to school the first few days, but after that, I went alone.
As a 16-year-old American, i am very jealous of the danish culture in just how much freedom and trust I have a few danish friends and they tell me how they just take a bus or train out to the city and just hang out with friends and some of them are 14 like u would never see that in the states. Also, I have dreams of living in Denmark as soon as I can so that's why I'm here love the culture.
When i was a kid i Sweden it was normal to sleep at friends both guys and girls at any age. And taking the bus to other citys alone at a very young age, just old enough so my parenths knew i would not get lost and knew where I was to get of the bus. Think first time alone on the bus was like when i was like 10 or so or maybe younger. The school buses worked whery simular and used almost the same stops so think that helped to learn how it worked.
The alchol culture in sweden is kind of messed up tho. You need to be 20 to buy alchol but its easy to get hold on it anyway so 14-15 years old get totaly wasted becouse they chug it when they get a hold on it and don't know anything about it.
Sadly, it seems like our culture been roughened up a bit. While our crime rate is low and still falling, assaults, when they do happen have gone up. When I was at your age or slightly older, it was pretty common to go out for a night on the town with the guys and sneak into bars and disco's on fake id's. Heck, I've slept on one of the benches around here near a parking lot down town waiting for a pickup more than I care to remember (or I might not remember all the times) waiting for my parents to pick me up. Nothing bad ever happened... the occasional "fisticuffs" for sure, but nothing truly bad. Over the last 5-10 years there's been some pretty horrendous things happening in that area to young people out on the weekend. But this is all subjective of course... I don't know if the statistics really back this impression up. In any case... be safe out there. It's ok to cut loose, but don't risk yourself.
I like hearing you guys talk about independence. I moved to Michigan at 17 as an exchange student (instead of Efterskole) back in 2002. I felt I left Denmark as a young adult and was received in the US as a kid. I wasn’t expected to help shop, do laundry, clean or cook. So when I naturally did my US brothers got in fights with me because it made them seem lazy 😂 But hardest was to have to ask permission to hang with friends or date (note here: I do understand that my host parents were extra protective because they had the responsibility for someone’s kid). But The Who?, when?, where?, is adults present?, I got all the time, hated it!! In Denmark my one rule was to call if I didn’t ate dinner or slept at home. I was fine about not drinking for a year, but my independence was the one thing I missed the most.
Regarding the dating and sleepovers: I think it is important that you consider, that the sexual intimicy can happen all the day. If they want to try it out, they can jsut as well do it during the day. So i don't think the sleepovers are such a big deal. It is also your oportunity as parents, to get to learn the person your daughter is dating.
My mom once said: you can't stand next to them with a torch in the hand the whole day. And you don't need darkness or a bed to have sex. So sooner or later it will happen. Give them the strength to say "No" and give the the opportunity to avoid std and pregnancy. This is all, parents can do
Agreed. Europe in general is way more open and forward in terms of sex-ed than the US. Glad to hear that they're working on it, because trying to "protect" your son/daughter is most certainly going to cause more harm than good. Being a good and trusting parent means you _want_ your kids to be able to talk to you about anything, including dating and sex.
@@tritnaha1345 I agree, you have to trust you instilled good values in them and the smarts and confidence to decide when sex is something they are ready for. However, you don’t have to dangle a carrot in front of their face either. I’m not sure how letting your son or daughter spend the night over their boyfriend/girlfriends is a necessary or regular thing to do. We have all been young before and it’s easy to say let them figure it out when I know as a young girl I was not ready and the boy is almost always ready. Is it a life experience to learn how to navigate through that? Yes. But is it necessary to put yourself in that situation? No. And I think it just seems tacky. But I’ve always been an old woman in behavior too🤣 just my opinion. I’m not downing anyone who does this or let’s their kids sleep over a boyfriends at 15, I just wouldn’t think it was ok. And I would hope my son or daughter would understand that as I did. I wanted to hang out and hold hands maybe kiss boys. Not go home with them. For what? I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m glad my parents were not ok with that. I had friends who had parents who were ok with that and 9/10 times it wasn’t beneficial in any way to the girl. From that point on. We always think we know what we want as young people and then you grow up and you go “thank God my parents were so annoying when I was that age.” There were plenty of other areas I had “freedom.”😆🤣 and when my brain caught up to my thoughts I had a different opinion than before. My parents weren’t strict, they were keeping me on a path where I could still navigate puddles and ditches without falling off a cliff!
@@keyannaantoinette7912 Not sure I'm understanding you correctly, because what you just said is more or less the complete opposite of what I was saying initially. Interesting topic, but and as some have already mentioned - trying to keep your teenagers from sex and referring to it as "keeping them safe" is backwards. Make sure your kids get the appropriate sex-ed, and you can basically leave the morals at the door. Trust and confidence is key. Raise your boys to understand what consent means and how it applies to yourself and others, then you won't have to "protect" your daughters. The Catholic church hasn't really been successful in terms of abstinence..
There's a popular saying among many Danish Efterskoler "Frihed under ansvar" which roughly translates to "Freedom with responsibility". As long as you can take responsibility for your actions you are free to do as you please. This lets the students explore the boundaries themselves and figure out how to act in life (Of course schools still have strict rules such as no smoking or drinking while you're at the school)
I think the danish mentality is that it is better to learn to drink while younger under parent supervision at home, before they go out in bars and diskos at 18
The truest danish thing you can do, is trust your child and communicate with them instead of banning things! Big love from Nykøbing, from a former US exchange student :)
As kid I was several times for vacations in Denmark and I still remember how incredible friendly everybody was. My mom made my learn some words like "hello, good bye, please, thank you" and count to ten. And then sentences like "I'd like to have an ice cream cone, please" came quite quickly, because every waiter/vendor loved to teach it to me (and my parents encouraged me). Love to Denmark from Germany ❤️
In Ireland its the same as Denmark, most teenagers start drinking alcohol with their parents around 14ish, then one you get to college at around 19 years old we don’t go as “wild” at these college house parties because we are “over it” by then and more mature then American 21 year olds
Love your channel! It's always fun to see your country through the eyes of others. A few points/thoughts about this video: 1 - You absolutely got it right reg. alcohol. 👍 We learn how to handle it while our parents are still an influence and backup. 2 - We tend to use and think of the f-word to emphasize what we're saying rather than it being a prophanity. You are definitely not the first or the last expats to point this out! 😅 3 - You can go to efterskole even at 14 years old. 4 - Public transport is such a huge part of our culture that we learn to use it at a really young age. Personally I took two busses by myself to visit my grandparents at 7 years old. 🤷♀️ 5 - Reg. sleep overs again it's about trust. And the fact that sex education is really important in danish schools. I also think danish parents feel that "if they really want to, they'll always find a way, no matter what time of day it is" so - like with alcohol - this way there's a bit of security for the kids. 6 - In general it's about trusting your kids to make the right decisions and that you've taught them well. We tend to trust until the trust is broken, both regarding our kids and in general. 😉👍
I think the part of public transport really depends on which part of DK you live in. I am from central/western Jutland, where we rarely use busses, because there are so few busses going. I recently moved to Odense, and here the public transport is much more used, and in the CPH area even more
If you feel too jalous at Maya for going to efterskole, you Can take a course at a højskole :) it’s almost The same but you Can go no matter how old you are! And you can just do it over The summer. I would TOTALLY reccomend it!!
You mention, that you're trying your best to "adapt to Danish culture", and I just have to say that, as a Dane, I think you're doing a fantastic job, and would like to remind everyone that when one is immigrating to a foreign country, you're not supposed to abandon your "old" culture, and conform to the "new". Doing so is known as assimilation, and is a failed form of integration. What you're doing is taking parts of both the new and the old, and uniting them in a functioning and beneficial way, in order to both fit in and stay true to yourself. Avsolutely fantastic job guys. Im always happy to see when people like you, are putting in the effort to not just adapt, but to actually integrate our culture, and make it your own. Its important to remember that our culture isn't perfect, and having foreigners come in, and look at it in a new way, and questioning our norms can often be a necessity for improvement. Wish you all the best, and hope you enjoy it here.
Thank you! We do love it here and hope to stay. That's why we're working hard to learn Danish and as much as we can about Denmark. Having this channel has inspired us to explore Denmark more and it has been a blast!
Americans are very narrow minded in that we try to install our beliefs in stead of being open minded. We spend our whole life’s trying to teach our children with out really believing in what we taught them. If we teach we should let them experience it that is why I love the danishes way they let their children live and learn. We need to be more like them. This was a fantastic topic
efterskole is really the best thing you can give your kids, coming from a now, grownup kid at the age of 37, i found the year i spent at efterskole to be one of the ground pillars in your life to build from, it teaches you solid independence and socializing.
This^ I regret not going to it, all the people i know have spoken how fantastic life was like under it. You were indepedent to a certain extent, but there always was this net to catch you in case you failed
So true! We moved to DK 4 years ago when our kids were 14 and 16 for the reasons you are stating! DK is totally realistic about letting young people mature naturally! And Efterskole is amazing!
I genuinly think that your approach to Maya and the danish drinking culture is super cool. And it's hillarious to hear you talk about the danish perspective on swear and curse words. Got some american family and they are always stunned when they come to Denmark. ^^ Congratulations on the 10k! Oh, and I don't know how much you looked into this but Danish Højskoler offers quite a lot of stuff for adults aswell. So if you want to do something a bit different you can stay at a højskole for like a week with other adults and take a course or two. :)
I can definitely recommend Højskole. Very wholesome and enjoyable. It'll likely also teach you some background of our "student for life" culture. Look up "Danish Folk Highschools". It's summer courses. The most popular spots gets taken the year before but you can still get good spots now. If you book it last minute you'll likely just have to sleep in a tent, and not be on the most popular courses (like ceramics), but you'll still get a great experience, I can almost guarantee that without knowing you, regardless of where you pick. My only concern would be language barrier on some locations, depending on how well you understand Danish at this point. Virtually everyone knows English but usually are most comfortable in Danish.
I had 2 years on efterskole. And it the best years of my life. I learned so much and had so much fun. I have made lifelong friendships there with people I consider my family at this point :) My efterskole stood for "Learn to stand on your own two feet, without being alone" is the best English translation. I really hope Maya can have a similar experience :)
I'm 26 and i still have friends i see regularly from those times. You can feel your experience compared to your peers, who didn't go to efterskole, very clearly.
@@christian5941-e4o et år i en samling af andre på din alder. Som regel imellem 8-10 klasse. De har forskellige fokus punkter (fodbold, idræt, videnskab, spejder etc.) Så det er folk som har samme interesser som dig. Man er væk fra forældre/byer som regel, man vælger selv om man tager hjem eller bliver på skolen i weekenderne.
It’s so nice to see I’m also a 16 year old here, but got a mom who’s born in Montenegro and dad who’s also from Montenegro, but born in Denmark, and it’s easy to say that most of the time when I ask to go to a party or sleepovers and stuff, it’s normally my dad I ask. Cause my dad was born here and in this society/culture so he knows how it is to be young here, but with my mom it’s a bit different, she’s really not being as polite with it. And she still has a hard time letting me be out. So big ups for you guys, i think you are cool parents
Well i do think you are great parents. As a child i was happy that my own parents would try new things and be more adventurous. It's great to be reminded that becoming an adult doesn't mean you have to stop having fun
I should’ve added also growing up I never had a curfew I could do pretty much anything I wanted unfortunately within the law which I learned and I had a very good life except for when I turn 21 then I ended up having alcoholic problems but otherwise learning on my own and having the freedom to do so like in most Nordic countries I’m sure I had my own way of learning with guidance from my parents though and with my own open philosophies I think I would fit in probably very well with most if not all Nordic countries
You are doing a fine job. As a father of two(Now grown-up) girls I can tell you Josh it never gets easier to see your daughter with a boy. But the reward of getting an extra son is worth it. Anyways now it is too late to change much, you just have to enjoy the ride. I always told my girls: If you need an excuse or a way out, just say I said No. They both used it to save "face".
This is so interesting! As a Dane who has been to the US quite a lot, I still learned a lot from this video. I.e., the first time I took public transportation by myself was when I was 5 years old with the bus - my friends parent would follow me onto it, and my mom would pick me up at the stop* The first time I took a train by myself was when I was 7, going on a 2 hour train ride, again, my parents getting me on the train, and the parents of my friend picking me up at the station. *My mom actually lost track of time, however I just got off the bus and waited for her. She came running down to the bus stop when she saw the bus pass, and picked me up, asking "weren't you scared?". My answer: "No, I knew you would show up"
I think its so cool that you've embraced the danish culture as much as you've done already. Keep up the good work. As a person that has recently been a teen, sleeping over at your partners house is normal, and i think you, as parents know whats going to happen. I just wanna say that its a good way as parents to ensure that your child has a safe and nice experience instead of it being rushed or being at a place that the child is not comfortable.. Its just my take on it from a young dane. Love your videos!
Yeah, and when it is not a taboo or something not allowed, the teens are much more comfortable coming to the parents and ask for help if something bad happens (like a bad experience or a broken condom or something like that). It also results in that they are much more informed when it comes to boundaries and birth control.
Honestly I think you are adapting much more to Danish culture than most Danish expats are when they move abroad... Just think of all the licorish vodka you are consuming 😊.
@@thememeking7876 at home. When you go to a friends party and their parents arent home? Oh boy, nothing is controlled there. And I know, cause ive had my share of crazy parties. We danes know how to fucking drink and party hard.
I really enjoy your videos! I was born and raised in Denmark but came to the US at 16. Fast forward 20 years and my son decided last year after graduating High School to go to Denmark as an exchange student. He is currently attending gymnasium in Northern Jutland. A lot of of the parents we know were mortified to find out the dorms are co-Ed lol
You’re doing great, guys! Scandinavia does do things much differently, in general, but from what you’ve shown us, integration is happening! Maya will do fine, what/however she’s learning the ‘how-tos’ at the Efterskole, no worries, it’s a safe place 💚 🇺🇸 Congrats on 10.000+ 🇩🇰
Efterskole was my best school year. I remember that I got a lot more independent, but also learned how to behave and also being more helpful, like cleaning and cooking 😊
3 года назад+8
In Sweden it is quite normal for kids to take the bus to school (normal bus, no dedicated school bus) at the age of 6 or 7. Our 7 year old took the bike 2 km to his friend on his own last year when he was 6, a couple of times per week.
I'd say you're adjusting pretty well. And of course it can be hard to see your little baby getting a sexlife, but think of it this way, better she has her first experiences in a safe place like her own home, than behind the bikeshed.
100% agree. my parents had the same thought when i was younger, because when they were young they had to hide it from their parents and knew that you shouldn't go to the parks at night, because people would be doing it in the bushes.
You are a great gift to Denmark! You are sharing valuable information too rarely heard by danish ears. I am happy that you are here, Denmark is a better place with you in it
I'm Danish. When I was around 10-11 years old my parents would let me take the bus to Copenhagen center or Lyngby by myself to go shopping (we lived in Herlev) and thought noting of it. And that was before cellphones, so if I wanted to call home, I would have to use a phone booth. If you are ever in Odense, where I live now, don't hesitate to ask for a guided tour to the sights or advice for what to see or where to go :)
You're doing great. :) I am a father of a 15 year old myself. By allowing Maya to discover herself and self-determine where her borders are, you are giving her a solid backbone; the foundation from where self esteem, courage, conviction and empathy blossoms.
When I was Mayas age my parents had the same approach to parenting. They knew my limits and they trusted me to make the right decisions. There were not any clear spoken rules, but they were definitely there. I knew when was too far and I was very aware of that when I was out at a school party or a party with boys there. They would always wait for me to get home again and they would always be ready to pick me up if I called them. I remember feeling that their confidence in me and the responsibility that followed helped me to make good decisions and place boundaries
As an adult swede, when we were young, in the sleep-over area. We always mention that what our prárents where worried about, we could do while they were at work, the sleepover was just that, a convenient sleepover...
Having had two boys on efterskole, I am soo happy for you guys having discovered the efterskole concept ... it will give Maya friends and skills for life
I very much appreciate that you guys adjust to the norms of our society in Denmark. Also, just trying to understand why we have these laws and norms means a lot to us. Giant kudos from here, guys!
It's sooo refreshing to see how you guys adapt, overcome and prevail to Danish lifestyle. I am truly impressed. You guys are doing GREAT. I wish I had met you back in 2012 when I visited Chicago. I went there with my US gf on a road trip. Chicago is COLD in winter(too cold for me), but very nice in the summer. And YES, I did try the Polish sausage. OK, back to parenting. You have NOTHING to worry about. From the looks of it, Maya has been raised with love, care and the most important factor: common sense. A thing of the past it seems. The world could definitely use a lot more of that. Stay safe and take care, and thanks for moving to Denmark. :)
As a teacher, I can say that just by seeing you being conscious of all this stuff, it's going to be fine. I never really thought about how different nordic culture can be for young people, but coming from a rural part of Norway, I had to move out when I was 16. School was a 2 hour drive, so moving out was the only choice apart from staying uneducated. Of course I did spend some time getting drunk on thursdays after band rehearsal, but I think my parents also appreciated that I knew how to take care of myself. Having heard the stories from my parents youth, realize I've been giving them a relatively easy time.
you guys are cool and openminded... thats nice. As a dane I very much think that parents should guide and advise when it come to dating and sleeping over, but they must stay out of their kids bedroom.... that decision is not for parents to make. I might be coloured by growing up here tho :-)
I think you are doing a wonderful job as parents and have a very balanced and reflected view on adapting to Danish culture and parenting. Maya is to my best judgement an incredibly smart young lady who has a bright future for sure. One comment regarding Danes being foul-mouthed - I think definitely there has been a shift in language among the younger generation. I also notice the F-bomb being dropped quite often. However, there might be something lost in translation as I think many young Danes use the F-word to emphasize something, i.e. "This Cocio chocolate milk is F-ing tasty!" or "I have been studying F-ing hard for this exam". So even though it sounds crude and crass, I find it interesting how the F-word has been imported to this country and has maybe lost some of its original connotations. Still, I agree with you, and I wish people would not say it as much - but languages evolve for better and for worse
I've been an exchange student in Iowa, and I remember how distrustful people were. My first host family (I switched after 5-6 months) even had to see my friends' driver's license in order for me to go with them. It was uncomfortable because I felt like a criminal.
This is so interesting. I'm from Denmark and the independence thing really hit home for me. We grew up in a suburban area and we would just run around the neighborhood alone or just a couple of kids even when we were just four or five. Me and my friend from down the street flew to London by ourselves on vacation for 5 days when I was 16 and she was 15 I think. My dad had found us an apartment in advance but otherwise we had to buy bus and MetroCards ourselves and find our way from the airport to the city. Thinking back I think it's pretty crazy that our parents let us go on our own, but honestly we had an amazing couple of days. There were no problems other than a delayed bus and the accomplishment we felt for doing that just the two of us was so great and really worth a lot growing up.
Those flødeboller look HUGE! No wonder you struggled to finish them in one sitting... I generally like them, but in small quantities... As for language... I use the F-word and other similar words quite frequently in Danish, but in English I wouldn't dream of using them - or similar. Because it's just not the standard in the UK or the US, so it sounds crass to me in English, where in Danish it's just part of the lingua franca, so to speak. Aaaand... As for Maya and dating... Those are rules you have to work out with her, and I'm sure you and she don't need the internet to chime in on that. I have opinions, but I'm not her or her parents - so I keep them to myself. ;-)
The inside of the "Flødebolle" is called "skum" - And I know that might be confusing since "skumbananer" is nothing like the texture But skum is just the literal danish translation of "Foam" The base foam in the "Flødebolle" is made by whipping eggwhites, heavy cream and sugar - you might they add flavoring to the whipped foam afterwards
Wow, I'm from Sweden and I always slept at my boyfriends house or he slept at my house, from about 14 years old already. We became like new family members in each others families. This is very common in Sweden which has the same culture as Denmark in many ways.
I was 14 when i was sent to Efterskole due to thrival issues at public school. I was antisocial, shy, had bad hygiene and was VERY depressed. Flashforward 3 years, im 17, leader of my riding team, lost about 20 kilos, (i was about 80kgs as a 160cm tall 14 yr old. i was BIG) i got friends, stopped eating so much, for the first time in my life, i felt confident. Efterskole was the best goddamn thing that ever happened to me. Maya is gonna LOVE it. Also, dont worry about the sleepovers. Danish boys are VERY good about using protection. Efterskole is basically 60-100 kids of the age 14-18 and guess what they do when the teachers arent looking? In the three years i spent at the school, we didnt have one single pregnancy, even if they were going at it like rabbits, urgh.
Wonder how you would have reacted as parents to my decisions when I was young. I grew up in DK in a small village on an island. We were only 100 children in the local school from 1st to 7th grade. When I graduated from highschool with 19 back in 1980, I bought a ticket to the US. Spent 4 weeks at SONYaB, bought a car and drove alone from the east coast to the west coast. I had a few addresses with me for people to contact on the way, but other than that, I was on my own. The more I think about it today, the more I admire my parents for letting me do it. I am still in touch - often - with the new friends I got on that tour.
I cant say much. I was 21 when I married Josh and we promptly went to Egypt for 3 weeks on our honeymoon. This was back in 2000 when conmunication was about as good as it was in 1980 😂 Our parents were horrified
This is so fun for me to watch. I was an expat in Denmark for 5 years before I moved on to Norway a decade ago. Still miss a lot of things from Denmark :) I used to go to a "Americans in Copenhagen" meetup group, I think it was on Internations. They had the best Halloween partys. Not sure if they still exist. I grew up in Germany where we also have a lower drinking age than driving age and I agree, it is safer that way around. Also many kids have their first experience of being drunk at home where the way into your own bed is short and you are safe :) It also kinda loses its temptation when its not off limits.
You're doing great! I'm a mom of an 18 years young girl and a 16 years young boy who is at Efterskole this year. I find that no mater if you are in Rome or not. Speaking with (not to) and trust in the young ones are the most important. My husbands and I have made it our mission to guide and let know what we know. letting them know we know what is going on, and making no topic off limits. most young people accept agreements, if they know the dangers or pitfalls of a situation. We have told them stories from when we were young, so they know we have made mistakes as well. Loving them and telling them that they cannot do anything that will take away our love for them. Whatever the situation they can at all times call to get picked up - no questions or scolding. Just a hug and a talk - ok long talks :-). It is the same regarding the sleepovers. If it is not spoken about - and kept a secret - in my opinion - it gets more exciting and the possibility of unwanted pregnancies even higher. It is not easy regardless of culture - but would you rather let it happen on a parking lot in the back of a car than in the safety of your own home? I think it is much more easy for the young girls to say No in their own home, than on a parking lot. And she needs to bring him home :-) I enjoyed your show.
03:35 - This is so important i think. Open conversation, less judgement and more enlightenment is key. Danish kids who are restrained or judged by their parents for drinking often gets a tendency to want to challenge boundaries, and this is especially easy and dangerous in Denmark as youth drinking is prominent. Having young individuals feeling safe with drinking and not associate it with rebeliousness is very important i think. In the end, if you like your parents, you are not going to deliberately try to dissappoint them.
Congratulations on 10k subs. That’s so awesome! The way you talk about parenthood is cool imo. You seem to value time spent together, and respecting personal boundaries over restrictions. Dealing with children throughout history has always shown, the second you tell a teenager they are not allowed to do something, is when they put in a good deal of effort to try to do it. But what I’ve seen from Maya so far ... you don’t need to worry too much. Your view on efterskole is spot on. Awesome way of looking at it. Goes into the whole “trust my child to do the right thing”. If you guys really want the closest experience you can have to that, you should probably look into maybe taking a few courses on Højskole? The more I see of you and your danish life, the more convinced I am about you guys not having any problems in adjusting to “being danish”. You’re awesome! 😉
Trust your kiddo, she aren’t a kid anymore. Let her find her own boundaries, at don’t get too mad if she messes up. My parent always took the time for me to ask questions and generally talk about anything. Some thing I didn’t share, but I for sure know it could if I needed it. If I drank to much, well, bad for me not getting breakfast, had to clean up my own mess. Most of the time my parents just asked it I really thought it was a good idea, I learned a lesson.
As a young adult born and raised in Europe I feel like saying curse words in other languages is not as bad as saying it in my language 😅 I curse in front of my parents in English and Russian 😂 but I would NEVER curse in my language 😅
it is more than 10 years ago i went to efterskole, and we can still gather more than 20 people for our Julefrokost. Efterskole is for sure one of the best things you can do for your kid.
love you guy`s. Fantastic that you are up to 10.000 subscribers. But that must be because you have something relevant to tell people ;) As a Dane, it's fun to hear how you struggle not to get to say the word sex LOL
You guys are great, I am Danish myself, and i love seeing people like you guys come here and enjoy our country. Best of luck with everything, I will continue to watch your journey 😊
In the US here. Apparently I have a more Danish outlook. At some point you have to give your child respect for their intelligence. How can they learn how to be adults if you don’t start to interact with them as adults. My daughter is similar to yours, she’s 26 now but was an old lady even in her teens.
Great job guys, I really like your approach and openness! Most Americans are far more dogmatic about these issues. I spent three years in the US and I knew pretty soon that i wouldn't want to be a kid there or raise my own kid in that country. And trust me it's not some sort of anti-American feeling. It's precisely the things that you mentioned (plus a few more, similar things). Trust, safety, autonomy, life skills, taking all the fear and anxiety out of the equation removing taboos as much as possible, it's like a breath of fresh air. If you put side by side an average older American teenager and a European of the same age, you'll see the differences. I am a teacher. I know that age pretty well and I always thought that American teens, even college students are far less mature and responsible than their European (and especially Scandinavian) counterparts. In a place where a parent has to be restrictive because the risk is that they'll get shot or get in a drunk driving accident some things get lost along the way. Think of the fact that in the US you can drive at 16, go and die for your country at 18, but you can have your first beer legally at 21. I know very well why those things happen, but still: It's not healthy. At 21 all those restrictions are removed and I've seen many kids just go ballistic and jump headfirst into the great drinking&sex adventure without having proper skills for it or actually knowing what to expect in a world where they can legally own a killing machine, yet they can go to jail for owning a plant.. I know that this kind of unusual freedom, trust and "let them go, do, try" approach may give you some anxiety, but look around you: you see a society that works, you see generations that are healthier, happier, less troubled (of course there are exceptions). Look at the overall atmosphere in that society. Look at the statistics, the number of incarcerated persons per capita for example. Trust this world and trust Maya, she deserves it. I know you will, I was really glad to see your attitude towards these serious differences!
@@warlorddk2070 tror de prøver at sige at man kan blive gravid alle tider på døgnet, ikke kun til overnatninger. Så hvis de har lyst til at have sex, finder de nok ud af at gøre det på den ene eller anden måde i den tidsramme de har
As a danish teen who has also lived in the US I am super impressed with your attitude about the extreme differences between danish and American culture.
Great Vid. I think there are many things US parents could learn from you guys. I especially like the way You trust your daughter to make her own sound decisions. That ties back to the way you raised her. One thing in particular that resonates with me is that you guys have a relationship build on trust not fear, which means that your daughter will reach out to you if she gets in any kind of trouble. PS: Young people will have sex, no matter if we as parents like it or not. The only difference between allowing sleep overs or not is that under sleep overs the youngsters is in a safe environment. i.e. no alcohol, no drugs, no other guys who would like to join in, less risk of pictures getting taken AND you have been talking to, drinking a cup of tea or coffee with, a face and a name of the lucky guy who might get to be you son in law;-) All the best to you guys.
I very much like your videos and how your lives are going in Denmark. I have been to Denmark four times. Some time spent in Naestved and the rest in Kobenhavn. If I would have been more determined, I think I could have adapted easily in Denmark, especially since I may have had support and encouragement from my Danish friends. I'm glad you made the choice to do so, it will be very much worth your time and effort. Thanks again for posting and updating all of us on your life, routine and your new experiences and adventures.
Have been to Scandinavia several times, 1 time I had to travel to Stockholm by bus, and sitting bye was a little girl who probably was not even 5 years old. I would be scared to travel by bus in the US by myself!
Trust is a two way street. As parents, we want our children to trust us, to feel that they can tell us anything, be it good news, bad news, happy things, their scares, problems in school etc. But for that to work, I believe parents should place just as much trust in their children, as we wish they put in us. It looks as if you have found a solid healthy balance with Maya. Regarding alcohol, in this household the approach is that our children (16 and 14 y) are allowed to taste what my wife and me are having. So at least they know what they like. None of them have been drunk, and so far haven't really shown much interest in alcohol tbh. But we also emphasize that getting drunk is not something you should do at their age. So we try to make it as natural and taboo free as possible. The dating/sex thing... well, we try keeping it as natural as it is. So far as parents we have had more conversations with our children regarding this, than we ever had ourselves growing up. I count that as a positive thing (again: trust). But none of them are really ready or interested in dating so far. And Josh, as a father to a 14 year old girl, I think I feel your concern. Guess it's a father/daughter thing: no one will ever be good enough for my princess! Thanks for yet another great video.
when my daughters were teenagers they were absolutely not allowed to sleep with boyfriends .. the boys were given the choice to sleep in the living room or sleep in between me and the wife;) never got bothered and the boy slept fine on the couch
I looove your attitude, your honesty and the Way you view our culture. It's an honor to follow you. I truly hope you're enjoying your Stay. Må I få mange gode oplevelser og minder med på jeres vej.
Congrats on 10.300 subscribers. Great video. In addition to Try It On Tuesday, I'd like to suggest Saying It In Danish. Pick subjects and handle that part of the videos in danish.
In the uk from 7 years old wevuse to go to the park an roam the local streets, my kids were the same. rules were be home before it gets dark or when you get hungry
Such a pleasant experience following your life in Denmark. When bars are opening again don't hesitate to drop by Ørsted Ølbar, I'll hook you up with some good danish craft beer. Just ask for Sebastian. All the best
In Denmark we don't put a giant divide between boys and girls. Growing up I'd regularly have sleepovers with my friends (who mostly happened to be boys), and we'd watch crappy horror movies bundled up together on a floor of mattresses. At 14 my family moved to Florida. In Middle School I watched a girl get reprimanded for hugging a boy (her brother), and I got detention for repeatedly getting caught holding a boy's hand (my bf). It was difficult adjusting to how sheltered everyone else was being treated, and my complete loss of autonomy as I had to have my parents drive me everywhere.
This right here, is how you immigrate the right way. They still have their culture and their ways, but they blend it so seamlessly into our life. Slap fluent danish on this family and you got yourself a family I wouldnt be able to tell was from America 😁
Hi from Finland, I as a kid we lived in Helsinki, population about 500 000 at the time, took us 45min by bus to get to city center and no joke, we were seven years old. Walked to school few kilometers from 6 years old and so on. Oh and just remembered, I was 14 when I got to go to Greece with my buddy and her mum, didnt see her for a week and just were running around with my friend. This was in island of Kos.
Sex education x 100, that’s the way to go. Trust can only be based in good communication between parents and the child going into a relationship. When I had my first boyfriend at 15, my mom took my to the doctor for birth control and the check up that follows. But we never had “the” talk, and I wish my mom would have at least said something about relationship, pressure, hygiene and so on...
This issue of different cultural freedoms is interesting. I'm English with a Danish mother, brought up in inner London. Travelling to & from school was always on my own except when younger than 6. This was first by walking over a mile and then by cycling and by bus. It would never had occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to be this independant. When I was 7yrs I was sent to Denmark for an urgent tonsillectomy (an op. which had a very long waiting list in the UK). I travelled on my own on the boat which was very exciting. I shared a cabin with another young girl who was very mischievous. Together we shamefully made the stewardess mad by ringing her bell 🤭. While in Denmark staying with an aunt, I spent memorable days alone, cycling around exploring, helping with the harvest, trying to milk cows, enjoying having a real dog to play with, sleeping under a cloud-like dyne (duvet), eating rubrød med spypølser etc etc. The memories of all this have stayed sharp ever since and influenced much of what I am today.
i remember when i was around 9 or 10 i took the train alone to my grandma, and it was a 2 hour train, i have always felt save as a kid back then, but i feel like time has changed a bit from back then.
You should try kajkage.._ if you can find them._. They are unfortunately rare nowadays._. But they are good._. Its a cake shaped like a frogs head and is named after a danish puppet from a old kids show._. You have to get the big ones because the small ones are not the same._. And you eat them with a small spoon._.
@@TravelinYoung Well as long as there are any traditional bakeries around in your area (so no Lagkagehuset or Emmery's) you should be able to find some. I was about to suggest Sørens Bageri in Holte but it looks like they've sadly gone the way of the buffalo and have been replaced by a Lagkagehuset cafe. If you can't find any then luckily Super Brugsen, Kvickley, and even a few Dagli' Brugsen stores have fresh baked pastries and small cakes ready to try. Seriously though my god traditional bakeries are becoming more and more rare here in the capital region by the day. I think the only really traditional one left in the whole of Lyngby is "Den helt rigtige bager" on the corner of Engelsborgvej and Nybrovej. I can see they offer Gåsebryst and a lot of other Danish classics. But no Kajkager For real though the traditional bakeries are good! Super good stuff, and often cheaper than Lagkagehuset as well.
As a Dane I kind of grew up with the use of the F-word like you mention and it wasn't a big deal. If I used danish swear words though - it would definitely be reprimanded unlike the f-bomb. Like someone else mentions in the comments - it must be the fact that for us, it's a foreign word. Anyway - one thing that I wonder. I play quite a bit online games on computer and consoles and have quite a few american friends. Most of them use the f-word and a lot of other english swear words very generously. It's not even age dependant - it seems pretty spread out. I wonder why it's such a big deal in the US when everyone of my friends speak "french" so eloquently ;-)
Yeah, that is an interesting perspective I hadn't considered until these comments. Not being your native language does change meaning and intent when using English curse words. I guess for me growing up with only 1 language, there wasn't another version of curse words we'd ever use. As for your question, I do think curse words are more openly said today than before, but it depends on the company. I would use F-bombs around friends or likely in anonymous communities like online gaming (if that were available as a kid) but not around my parents or other adults. It's almost like our first language is what we say in the presence of parents/family compared to a second language of what we say when we are with friends. All english of course, but the vocabulary may be a tad different :).
@@TravelinYoung definitely a matter of language barrier. F-bombs sounds milder than using Danish curses. But there is also a generational aspect. Older people, (I'm 33 and ill say around my parent's generation) will tend to use blafemic curse words and consider curse words about body functions to be uglier while younger generations tend to use these body function curses and not use blasfemy language as much.
you're really nailing the danish way of parenting, by giving you kid a lot of responsibility about how to behave. I like you ideas and values about choosing efterskole. I went to America as a exchange student, instead of doing efterskole, after the primary school years.
Remember when you trust your young person and do not hand out a ban, what was banned is no longer exciting. and when a young person has turned about 15 years old, it is difficult to educate on those you can advise and guide it And hope for the best .. then you also seem as if you are very liberal American parents.
i think you are doing a great job as parents. You are already more Danish than a lot of people who have been her 20 years.. i love u guys the whole package :)
My mom is the one who "taught" me to swear but I try to limit it, although it can be liberation to just express all your emotions xD It's interesting to hear how you experience the difference, and I'm guessing your daughter is attending an Efterskole?
@@TravelinYoung I have a lot of friends and family that that that too, and they loved it too. And it's interesting to hear you talk about how it kinda also teaches them to become adults in a way :)
Yeah, trust your daughter and just be ready to help her out if she gets in over her head a bit, as we all did in our teens. Tbh the absolute worst things that scare us with our teens are things they have no hand in, and that is such a brutal thing to know - we, or they, can't really control their way out of the really bad stuff. The normal rough life experiences we can control to some extent, be those we also just deal with with time and parental support, and life moves on. You've got this, all three of you.
In the US shotguns and rifles may be sold to individuals 18 years of age or older.
Drinking age 21
This is so strange to us this side of the world
Yeah, kinda strange. Drive at 16, go to war at 18, drink at 21.
@ಠ_ಠ Are the norwegian gunlaws really that liberal? That's kinda scary, didn't think that about norway wtf
@@rihasanatrofolo2472 We have a lot of weapons in Norway, actually we are the 11th on the list over countries with most guns per person - USA topping that list of course. But it cant be compared, we have a totally different culture around guns. It's also not as liberal as it is made out to sound, you need to have a gun license to carry shooting weapons here. 18 is the legal age for rifle and hunting weapons. Revolver or pistol you have to be 21. Yes, you can in some cases get hunting rifles at 16 but for that there are stricter rules. The police also do background check on you and you need to have a good reason for owning a gun. Hunting, competitions, target practice etc...are example.
The reason why we are high on the list is mostly because of hunting. People here have huge respect for guns and most people believe owning guns for self-protection leads to more gun violence. Even the police doesn´t carry guns as a default, that has to be pre-approved based on the situation they are entering. The reasoning for that it's for their own protection, criminals react more violently if they know the police are entering with weapons. US has 113 guns per 100, Norway has 32 guns per 100. There are yearly 40 000 deaths by guns in the US, here we had 2 by guns in 2017, none in 2018 and 3 in 2019. Its a mentality thing. Dont be scared, we are doing fine.
@@rihasanatrofolo2472 I don`t think the rules are liberal at all. You have to take a course and pass an exam and background check by the police after that. Yeah you can have weapons earlier, but then you have to have a sponsor that has a weapon license for that specific caliber and weapon and that is responsible for you and your actions while handling the weapon.
Weapons are viewed very differently here and in the US I feel. Over there it feels like a must have for protection and everyone has them and can get them easily. While here it is way more for recreational purposes, sports shooting or hunting. I personally know a whole bunch of people that have weapon licenses and own shotguns, rifles, pistols including myself and I don`t know anyone that owns a weapon for self defense.
There are strict rules for how to keep a weapon at home, it has to be locked up securely at all times and there is strict rules for taking a weapon outside, it has to be secured, a critical part has to be removed at all times during transport or while its in a car so if its stolen it can`t be used etc. You can`t just walk with a loaded pistol in your handbag and point it into someones face here if they piss you off.
What do you mean people can defend themselves/hunt before they open themselves to being potentially raped?
As a Danish 19 year-old myself, i find these cultural differences very interesting. I guess we really do have a high level of independence from quite a young age. This video really made me appreciate my country and its culture more than ever. Because now I understand the privilege that comes with having this independence.
You lucky bastard, not living in the US! Greetings from Norway
I’m looking for a Dane to marry at the money 😂
@@crystaltheo8494 Your age - and how rich are you?
I think the reason we curse a lot is because its english curse words. And I belive they don't sound so harsh to us. But the few curse words we have in danish have a totally different feel
As a Dane i came to the same conclusion - it doesn’t seem too real or strict in any way when you use another language.
@Dri Ven In german yes, in Russian it becomes a CS;GO meme ...
yeah i believe you are correct about that
There is a ligvistic has studiet it. And yes the f word dont seem so bad - when I was a boy, we just the frence word "merd".
There's plenty of Danish cursewords that are more common i daily speech than niceties, like 'sgu' 'for satan' 'kraftedme' etc. Etc. They are so common they aren't even considered cursewords anymore.
When i had my first day in elementary school, i would cycle to school followed by my dad, when we arrived he said "now remember the route, that is the same way you cycle home". And i cycled alone from/to school everyday ever since. Very Danish way of trusting their children!
Same exact thing my parents said to me. And I learned that shit so fast, cause otherwise I wasnt getting home 😂
yeah. I had a 5 minute walk just right straight through my neighborhood to my school so me and my sisters went from a young age to school by our self.
I'm from Finland and the exact same thing happened to me expect it was the first day of preschool.
I think this is common in northern Europe. I'm from Finland and this sounds normal to me. My mother walked with me to school the first few days, but after that, I went alone.
I has to walk it was about 1/2 hour that was from 6 years old but we had 2 main roads to cross
As a 16-year-old American, i am very jealous of the danish culture in just how much freedom and trust I have a few danish friends and they tell me how they just take a bus or train out to the city and just hang out with friends and some of them are 14 like u would never see that in the states. Also, I have dreams of living in Denmark as soon as I can so that's why I'm here love the culture.
also i love watching them adapting to Denmark it helps me get a feel for when I'm actually out there
When i was a kid i Sweden it was normal to sleep at friends both guys and girls at any age. And taking the bus to other citys alone at a very young age, just old enough so my parenths knew i would not get lost and knew where I was to get of the bus. Think first time alone on the bus was like when i was like 10 or so or maybe younger. The school buses worked whery simular and used almost the same stops so think that helped to learn how it worked.
The alchol culture in sweden is kind of messed up tho. You need to be 20 to buy alchol but its easy to get hold on it anyway so 14-15 years old get totaly wasted becouse they chug it when they get a hold on it and don't know anything about it.
America - The land of "Freedom"
As an American living in Denmark, freedom is a longshot in the states
Sadly, it seems like our culture been roughened up a bit. While our crime rate is low and still falling, assaults, when they do happen have gone up.
When I was at your age or slightly older, it was pretty common to go out for a night on the town with the guys and sneak into bars and disco's on fake id's.
Heck, I've slept on one of the benches around here near a parking lot down town waiting for a pickup more than I care to remember (or I might not remember all the times) waiting for my parents to pick me up. Nothing bad ever happened... the occasional "fisticuffs" for sure, but nothing truly bad.
Over the last 5-10 years there's been some pretty horrendous things happening in that area to young people out on the weekend.
But this is all subjective of course... I don't know if the statistics really back this impression up.
In any case... be safe out there. It's ok to cut loose, but don't risk yourself.
I like hearing you guys talk about independence.
I moved to Michigan at 17 as an exchange student (instead of Efterskole) back in 2002. I felt I left Denmark as a young adult and was received in the US as a kid.
I wasn’t expected to help shop, do laundry, clean or cook. So when I naturally did my US brothers got in fights with me because it made them seem lazy 😂
But hardest was to have to ask permission to hang with friends or date (note here: I do understand that my host parents were extra protective because they had the responsibility for someone’s kid).
But The Who?, when?, where?, is adults present?, I got all the time, hated it!!
In Denmark my one rule was to call if I didn’t ate dinner or slept at home.
I was fine about not drinking for a year, but my independence was the one thing I missed the most.
Regarding the dating and sleepovers: I think it is important that you consider, that the sexual intimicy can happen all the day. If they want to try it out, they can jsut as well do it during the day. So i don't think the sleepovers are such a big deal. It is also your oportunity as parents, to get to learn the person your daughter is dating.
Yes. My daughter (now 19) and son (20) have had frequent sleepovers since 11-12 :) with families that we trust!
My mom once said: you can't stand next to them with a torch in the hand the whole day. And you don't need darkness or a bed to have sex. So sooner or later it will happen. Give them the strength to say "No" and give the the opportunity to avoid std and pregnancy. This is all, parents can do
Agreed. Europe in general is way more open and forward in terms of sex-ed than the US. Glad to hear that they're working on it, because trying to "protect" your son/daughter is most certainly going to cause more harm than good. Being a good and trusting parent means you _want_ your kids to be able to talk to you about anything, including dating and sex.
@@tritnaha1345 I agree, you have to trust you instilled good values in them and the smarts and confidence to decide when sex is something they are ready for. However, you don’t have to dangle a carrot in front of their face either. I’m not sure how letting your son or daughter spend the night over their boyfriend/girlfriends is a necessary or regular thing to do. We have all been young before and it’s easy to say let them figure it out when I know as a young girl I was not ready and the boy is almost always ready. Is it a life experience to learn how to navigate through that? Yes. But is it necessary to put yourself in that situation? No. And I think it just seems tacky. But I’ve always been an old woman in behavior too🤣 just my opinion. I’m not downing anyone who does this or let’s their kids sleep over a boyfriends at 15, I just wouldn’t think it was ok. And I would hope my son or daughter would understand that as I did. I wanted to hang out and hold hands maybe kiss boys. Not go home with them. For what? I’ll see you tomorrow. I’m glad my parents were not ok with that. I had friends who had parents who were ok with that and 9/10 times it wasn’t beneficial in any way to the girl. From that point on. We always think we know what we want as young people and then you grow up and you go “thank God my parents were so annoying when I was that age.” There were plenty of other areas I had “freedom.”😆🤣 and when my brain caught up to my thoughts I had a different opinion than before. My parents weren’t strict, they were keeping me on a path where I could still navigate puddles and ditches without falling off a cliff!
@@keyannaantoinette7912 Not sure I'm understanding you correctly, because what you just said is more or less the complete opposite of what I was saying initially. Interesting topic, but and as some have already mentioned - trying to keep your teenagers from sex and referring to it as "keeping them safe" is backwards. Make sure your kids get the appropriate sex-ed, and you can basically leave the morals at the door.
Trust and confidence is key. Raise your boys to understand what consent means and how it applies to yourself and others, then you won't have to "protect" your daughters.
The Catholic church hasn't really been successful in terms of abstinence..
There's a popular saying among many Danish Efterskoler "Frihed under ansvar" which roughly translates to "Freedom with responsibility". As long as you can take responsibility for your actions you are free to do as you please. This lets the students explore the boundaries themselves and figure out how to act in life (Of course schools still have strict rules such as no smoking or drinking while you're at the school)
I think the danish mentality is that it is better to learn to drink while younger under parent supervision at home, before they go out in bars and diskos at 18
Still bad for liver at any age
@Ashton Almond as you can see, nah youre wrong
Aint it 21 in the us?
@Dri Ven antique science-fat is good; carbs are bad
@Dri Ven puster dere også inn mens dere snakker? Eller refererte du til en metafor?
The truest danish thing you can do, is trust your child and communicate with them instead of banning things! Big love from Nykøbing, from a former US exchange student :)
And teach your daughters to only date white guys with blond hair and blue eyes.
@@Mogamishu wha-?
@@Mogamishu what!?
@@Mogamishu nah dude, that’s not it
@@Mogamishu couldn't be farther from the truth. Sure it might be true for some individual cases, but no more than in other countries or cultures.
As kid I was several times for vacations in Denmark and I still remember how incredible friendly everybody was. My mom made my learn some words like "hello, good bye, please, thank you" and count to ten. And then sentences like "I'd like to have an ice cream cone, please" came quite quickly, because every waiter/vendor loved to teach it to me (and my parents encouraged me).
Love to Denmark from Germany ❤️
When I was 15 I went to Canada by myself. I'm Norwegian, but Danish and Norwegian culture are very similar.
In Ireland its the same as Denmark, most teenagers start drinking alcohol with their parents around 14ish, then one you get to college at around 19 years old we don’t go as “wild” at these college house parties because we are “over it” by then and more mature then American 21 year olds
Love your channel! It's always fun to see your country through the eyes of others.
A few points/thoughts about this video:
1 - You absolutely got it right reg. alcohol. 👍 We learn how to handle it while our parents are still an influence and backup.
2 - We tend to use and think of the f-word to emphasize what we're saying rather than it being a prophanity. You are definitely not the first or the last expats to point this out! 😅
3 - You can go to efterskole even at 14 years old.
4 - Public transport is such a huge part of our culture that we learn to use it at a really young age. Personally I took two busses by myself to visit my grandparents at 7 years old. 🤷♀️
5 - Reg. sleep overs again it's about trust. And the fact that sex education is really important in danish schools. I also think danish parents feel that "if they really want to, they'll always find a way, no matter what time of day it is" so - like with alcohol - this way there's a bit of security for the kids.
6 - In general it's about trusting your kids to make the right decisions and that you've taught them well. We tend to trust until the trust is broken, both regarding our kids and in general. 😉👍
I think the part of public transport really depends on which part of DK you live in. I am from central/western Jutland, where we rarely use busses, because there are so few busses going. I recently moved to Odense, and here the public transport is much more used, and in the CPH area even more
If you feel too jalous at Maya for going to efterskole, you Can take a course at a højskole :) it’s almost The same but you Can go no matter how old you are! And you can just do it over The summer. I would TOTALLY reccomend it!!
👍😎
Højskole is also one of the best deep dives into Danish culture you could probably do. So I'll just say that I think it's a great suggestion
You guys are getting better at danish especially when Miranda said “Kylling” that was spot on.
to say kylling imaging saying q and the name ling togetter
we might need to make a easy guide to danish words for english speaking people using combos of words and wocals of the english laungence
@@JULEMANDEN99 that’s a really good idea
Kyyyyyling, og frikedunsher
@@HOARChapprgInHD of for første gang har jeg smagt sild. FLYVE SILD
You mention, that you're trying your best to "adapt to Danish culture", and I just have to say that, as a Dane, I think you're doing a fantastic job, and would like to remind everyone that when one is immigrating to a foreign country, you're not supposed to abandon your "old" culture, and conform to the "new". Doing so is known as assimilation, and is a failed form of integration. What you're doing is taking parts of both the new and the old, and uniting them in a functioning and beneficial way, in order to both fit in and stay true to yourself. Avsolutely fantastic job guys.
Im always happy to see when people like you, are putting in the effort to not just adapt, but to actually integrate our culture, and make it your own. Its important to remember that our culture isn't perfect, and having foreigners come in, and look at it in a new way, and questioning our norms can often be a necessity for improvement.
Wish you all the best, and hope you enjoy it here.
Thank you! We do love it here and hope to stay. That's why we're working hard to learn Danish and as much as we can about Denmark. Having this channel has inspired us to explore Denmark more and it has been a blast!
Americans are very narrow minded in that we try to install our beliefs in stead of being open minded. We spend our whole life’s trying to teach our children with out really believing in what we taught them. If we teach we should let them experience it that is why I love the danishes way they let their children live and learn. We need to be more like them. This was a fantastic topic
efterskole is really the best thing you can give your kids, coming from a now, grownup kid at the age of 37, i found the year i spent at efterskole to be one of the ground pillars in your life to build from, it teaches you solid independence and socializing.
This^
I regret not going to it, all the people i know have spoken how fantastic life was like under it. You were indepedent to a certain extent, but there always was this net to catch you in case you failed
@@_greenrunner_ You didn't miss anything. Efterskole is no Guarantee it will be a good experience.
Or even good for you in the long run.
So true! We moved to DK 4 years ago when our kids were 14 and 16 for the reasons you are stating! DK is totally realistic about letting young people mature naturally! And Efterskole is amazing!
I genuinly think that your approach to Maya and the danish drinking culture is super cool. And it's hillarious to hear you talk about the danish perspective on swear and curse words. Got some american family and they are always stunned when they come to Denmark. ^^ Congratulations on the 10k! Oh, and I don't know how much you looked into this but Danish Højskoler offers quite a lot of stuff for adults aswell. So if you want to do something a bit different you can stay at a højskole for like a week with other adults and take a course or two. :)
Thanks! We might look into that at some point, seems like it could be fun!
@@TravelinYoung Think that Josh will be popular in Højskole, since he plays the guitar :-)
I can definitely recommend Højskole. Very wholesome and enjoyable. It'll likely also teach you some background of our "student for life" culture. Look up "Danish Folk Highschools". It's summer courses. The most popular spots gets taken the year before but you can still get good spots now. If you book it last minute you'll likely just have to sleep in a tent, and not be on the most popular courses (like ceramics), but you'll still get a great experience, I can almost guarantee that without knowing you, regardless of where you pick. My only concern would be language barrier on some locations, depending on how well you understand Danish at this point. Virtually everyone knows English but usually are most comfortable in Danish.
I can only vouch for danish folk højskole 😁👍 efterskole for adults (kind of), simply amazing
@@namejeppe7 Yeah. My grandma and her sister went a lot on Højskole, when she was between 60 and 70 years. They loved it.
I had 2 years on efterskole. And it the best years of my life. I learned so much and had so much fun. I have made lifelong friendships there with people I consider my family at this point :) My efterskole stood for "Learn to stand on your own two feet, without being alone" is the best English translation. I really hope Maya can have a similar experience :)
They do say that one year of efterskole equals 7 years of normal school in terms of how much you grow and mature and i think that’s very true
I'm 26 and i still have friends i see regularly from those times.
You can feel your experience compared to your peers, who didn't go to efterskole, very clearly.
Vad är detta "efterskole"? Vi har inte det uttrycket i Sverige så berätta gärna vad det innebär.
@@christian5941-e4o et år i en samling af andre på din alder. Som regel imellem 8-10 klasse.
De har forskellige fokus punkter (fodbold, idræt, videnskab, spejder etc.) Så det er folk som har samme interesser som dig.
Man er væk fra forældre/byer som regel, man vælger selv om man tager hjem eller bliver på skolen i weekenderne.
@@Styggejoe: Tack för ditt svar. Vi har inget liknande i Sverige men det låter intressant. Är detta innan gymnasiet? (gymnasiet i Sverige 16-18 år).
It’s so nice to see I’m also a 16 year old here, but got a mom who’s born in Montenegro and dad who’s also from Montenegro, but born in Denmark, and it’s easy to say that most of the time when I ask to go to a party or sleepovers and stuff, it’s normally my dad I ask. Cause my dad was born here and in this society/culture so he knows how it is to be young here, but with my mom it’s a bit different, she’s really not being as polite with it. And she still has a hard time letting me be out. So big ups for you guys, i think you are cool parents
Well i do think you are great parents. As a child i was happy that my own parents would try new things and be more adventurous. It's great to be reminded that becoming an adult doesn't mean you have to stop having fun
Thanks!
I should’ve added also growing up I never had a curfew I could do pretty much anything I wanted unfortunately within the law which I learned and I had a very good life except for when I turn 21 then I ended up having alcoholic problems but otherwise learning on my own and having the freedom to do so like in most Nordic countries I’m sure I had my own way of learning with guidance from my parents though and with my own open philosophies I think I would fit in probably very well with most if not all Nordic countries
You are doing a fine job. As a father of two(Now grown-up) girls I can tell you Josh it never gets easier to see your daughter with a boy. But the reward of getting an extra son is worth it. Anyways now it is too late to change much, you just have to enjoy the ride.
I always told my girls: If you need an excuse or a way out, just say I said No. They both used it to save "face".
This is so interesting!
As a Dane who has been to the US quite a lot, I still learned a lot from this video. I.e., the first time I took public transportation by myself was when I was 5 years old with the bus - my friends parent would follow me onto it, and my mom would pick me up at the stop*
The first time I took a train by myself was when I was 7, going on a 2 hour train ride, again, my parents getting me on the train, and the parents of my friend picking me up at the station.
*My mom actually lost track of time, however I just got off the bus and waited for her. She came running down to the bus stop when she saw the bus pass, and picked me up, asking "weren't you scared?". My answer: "No, I knew you would show up"
Maya seems like such a well adjusted teen. You seem to be doing allright as parents :)
I think its so cool that you've embraced the danish culture as much as you've done already. Keep up the good work.
As a person that has recently been a teen, sleeping over at your partners house is normal, and i think you, as parents know whats going to happen. I just wanna say that its a good way as parents to ensure that your child has a safe and nice experience instead of it being rushed or being at a place that the child is not comfortable..
Its just my take on it from a young dane. Love your videos!
Yeah, and when it is not a taboo or something not allowed, the teens are much more comfortable coming to the parents and ask for help if something bad happens (like a bad experience or a broken condom or something like that). It also results in that they are much more informed when it comes to boundaries and birth control.
Honestly I think you are adapting much more to Danish culture than most Danish expats are when they move abroad... Just think of all the licorish vodka you are consuming 😊.
Ummm no? Lmao danish 16 year old here and the drinking is actually really controlled
@@thememeking7876 at home. When you go to a friends party and their parents arent home? Oh boy, nothing is controlled there.
And I know, cause ive had my share of crazy parties. We danes know how to fucking drink and party hard.
@@BastianHyldahlFilms i depends on the families I guess? For the people I know and myself it’s controlled
I really enjoy your videos! I was born and raised in Denmark but came to the US at 16. Fast forward 20 years and my son decided last year after graduating High School to go to Denmark as an exchange student. He is currently attending gymnasium in Northern Jutland. A lot of of the parents we know were mortified to find out the dorms are co-Ed lol
Yeah, but we teach sex-ed so co-ed is not a problem...
These parents are open minded for a new culture
Issa old culture
You’re doing great, guys!
Scandinavia does do things much differently, in general,
but from what you’ve shown us, integration is happening!
Maya will do fine, what/however she’s learning the ‘how-tos’ at the Efterskole,
no worries, it’s a safe place 💚
🇺🇸 Congrats on 10.000+ 🇩🇰
integration happens for cultures and religions that are similar to that of the Danes.
Efterskole was my best school year. I remember that I got a lot more independent, but also learned how to behave and also being more helpful, like cleaning and cooking 😊
In Sweden it is quite normal for kids to take the bus to school (normal bus, no dedicated school bus) at the age of 6 or 7. Our 7 year old took the bike 2 km to his friend on his own last year when he was 6, a couple of times per week.
I'd say you're adjusting pretty well. And of course it can be hard to see your little baby getting a sexlife, but think of it this way, better she has her first experiences in a safe place like her own home, than behind the bikeshed.
hol up "sexlife" "first experiences in a safe place like her own home", i have not watched the vid yet, but this comment aint adding up
@@srensen3081 Only because you haven't watched it yet.
@@srensen3081 såså tro mig det kommer til at give mening haha
100% agree. my parents had the same thought when i was younger, because when they were young they had to hide it from their parents and knew that you shouldn't go to the parks at night, because people would be doing it in the bushes.
You are a great gift to Denmark! You are sharing valuable information too rarely heard by danish ears. I am happy that you are here, Denmark is a better place with you in it
That is so nice of you to say, thanks!
I'm Danish. When I was around 10-11 years old my parents would let me take the bus to Copenhagen center or Lyngby by myself to go shopping (we lived in Herlev) and thought noting of it. And that was before cellphones, so if I wanted to call home, I would have to use a phone booth.
If you are ever in Odense, where I live now, don't hesitate to ask for a guided tour to the sights or advice for what to see or where to go :)
Hi
You're doing great. :)
I am a father of a 15 year old myself. By allowing Maya to discover herself and self-determine where her borders are, you are giving her a solid backbone; the foundation from where self esteem, courage, conviction and empathy blossoms.
When I was Mayas age my parents had the same approach to parenting. They knew my limits and they trusted me to make the right decisions. There were not any clear spoken rules, but they were definitely there. I knew when was too far and I was very aware of that when I was out at a school party or a party with boys there. They would always wait for me to get home again and they would always be ready to pick me up if I called them. I remember feeling that their confidence in me and the responsibility that followed helped me to make good decisions and place boundaries
As an adult swede, when we were young, in the sleep-over area. We always mention that what our prárents where worried about, we could do while they were at work, the sleepover was just that, a convenient sleepover...
Having had two boys on efterskole, I am soo happy for you guys having discovered the efterskole concept ... it will give Maya friends and skills for life
You have certaintly nailed the danish parenting ....As a dane it is just as difficult with the boyfriend-girlfriend sleepovers for us as well.
I very much appreciate that you guys adjust to the norms of our society in Denmark. Also, just trying to understand why we have these laws and norms means a lot to us. Giant kudos from here, guys!
Thanks!
It's sooo refreshing to see how you guys adapt, overcome and prevail to Danish lifestyle. I am truly impressed. You guys are doing GREAT. I wish I had met you back in 2012 when I visited Chicago. I went there with my US gf on a road trip. Chicago is COLD in winter(too cold for me), but very nice in the summer. And YES, I did try the Polish sausage. OK, back to parenting. You have NOTHING to worry about. From the looks of it, Maya has been raised with love, care and the most important factor: common sense. A thing of the past it seems. The world could definitely use a lot more of that. Stay safe and take care, and thanks for moving to Denmark. :)
The reason there's salt caramel in the middle is for the inner to resemble an egg, kind of another layer to the whole chicken thing ;)
As a teacher, I can say that just by seeing you being conscious of all this stuff, it's going to be fine.
I never really thought about how different nordic culture can be for young people, but coming from a rural part of Norway, I had to move out when I was 16. School was a 2 hour drive, so moving out was the only choice apart from staying uneducated. Of course I did spend some time getting drunk on thursdays after band rehearsal, but I think my parents also appreciated that I knew how to take care of myself. Having heard the stories from my parents youth, realize I've been giving them a relatively easy time.
you guys are cool and openminded... thats nice. As a dane I very much think that parents should guide and advise when it come to dating and sleeping over, but they must stay out of their kids bedroom.... that decision is not for parents to make. I might be coloured by growing up here tho :-)
I think you are doing a wonderful job as parents and have a very balanced and reflected view on adapting to Danish culture and parenting. Maya is to my best judgement an incredibly smart young lady who has a bright future for sure. One comment regarding Danes being foul-mouthed - I think definitely there has been a shift in language among the younger generation. I also notice the F-bomb being dropped quite often. However, there might be something lost in translation as I think many young Danes use the F-word to emphasize something, i.e. "This Cocio chocolate milk is F-ing tasty!" or "I have been studying F-ing hard for this exam". So even though it sounds crude and crass, I find it interesting how the F-word has been imported to this country and has maybe lost some of its original connotations. Still, I agree with you, and I wish people would not say it as much - but languages evolve for better and for worse
Because that's how we / they learn to use the F-word from American pop culture.
I've been an exchange student in Iowa, and I remember how distrustful people were. My first host family (I switched after 5-6 months) even had to see my friends' driver's license in order for me to go with them. It was uncomfortable because I felt like a criminal.
This is so interesting. I'm from Denmark and the independence thing really hit home for me. We grew up in a suburban area and we would just run around the neighborhood alone or just a couple of kids even when we were just four or five. Me and my friend from down the street flew to London by ourselves on vacation for 5 days when I was 16 and she was 15 I think. My dad had found us an apartment in advance but otherwise we had to buy bus and MetroCards ourselves and find our way from the airport to the city.
Thinking back I think it's pretty crazy that our parents let us go on our own, but honestly we had an amazing couple of days. There were no problems other than a delayed bus and the accomplishment we felt for doing that just the two of us was so great and really worth a lot growing up.
Those flødeboller look HUGE! No wonder you struggled to finish them in one sitting... I generally like them, but in small quantities...
As for language... I use the F-word and other similar words quite frequently in Danish, but in English I wouldn't dream of using them - or similar. Because it's just not the standard in the UK or the US, so it sounds crass to me in English, where in Danish it's just part of the lingua franca, so to speak.
Aaaand... As for Maya and dating... Those are rules you have to work out with her, and I'm sure you and she don't need the internet to chime in on that. I have opinions, but I'm not her or her parents - so I keep them to myself. ;-)
The independence part is really true. My older sister went from Midtjylland to København, as a 15 year old, on her own!
The inside of the "Flødebolle" is called "skum" - And I know that might be confusing since "skumbananer" is nothing like the texture
But skum is just the literal danish translation of "Foam"
The base foam in the "Flødebolle" is made by whipping eggwhites, heavy cream and sugar - you might they add flavoring to the whipped foam afterwards
I have NEVER in my life eaten a flødebolle with cream in it.. its waffers, eggwhites, sugar and chocolate...
It is a whipped eggwhite mixed with sugars and glucose syrup.
Gelatinplater?
Wow, I'm from Sweden and I always slept at my boyfriends house or he slept at my house, from about 14 years old already. We became like new family members in each others families. This is very common in Sweden which has the same culture as Denmark in many ways.
I was 14 when i was sent to Efterskole due to thrival issues at public school. I was antisocial, shy, had bad hygiene and was VERY depressed.
Flashforward 3 years, im 17, leader of my riding team, lost about 20 kilos, (i was about 80kgs as a 160cm tall 14 yr old. i was BIG) i got friends, stopped eating so much, for the first time in my life, i felt confident.
Efterskole was the best goddamn thing that ever happened to me. Maya is gonna LOVE it.
Also, dont worry about the sleepovers. Danish boys are VERY good about using protection. Efterskole is basically 60-100 kids of the age 14-18 and guess what they do when the teachers arent looking?
In the three years i spent at the school, we didnt have one single pregnancy, even if they were going at it like rabbits, urgh.
Wonder how you would have reacted as parents to my decisions when I was young.
I grew up in DK in a small village on an island. We were only 100 children in the local school from 1st to 7th grade.
When I graduated from highschool with 19 back in 1980, I bought a ticket to the US. Spent 4 weeks at SONYaB, bought a car and drove alone from the east coast to the west coast.
I had a few addresses with me for people to contact on the way, but other than that, I was on my own.
The more I think about it today, the more I admire my parents for letting me do it.
I am still in touch - often - with the new friends I got on that tour.
I cant say much. I was 21 when I married Josh and we promptly went to Egypt for 3 weeks on our honeymoon. This was back in 2000 when conmunication was about as good as it was in 1980 😂 Our parents were horrified
This is so fun for me to watch. I was an expat in Denmark for 5 years before I moved on to Norway a decade ago. Still miss a lot of things from Denmark :) I used to go to a "Americans in Copenhagen" meetup group, I think it was on Internations. They had the best Halloween partys. Not sure if they still exist.
I grew up in Germany where we also have a lower drinking age than driving age and I agree, it is safer that way around. Also many kids have their first experience of being drunk at home where the way into your own bed is short and you are safe :) It also kinda loses its temptation when its not off limits.
You're doing great! I'm a mom of an 18 years young girl and a 16 years young boy who is at Efterskole this year. I find that no mater if you are in Rome or not. Speaking with (not to) and trust in the young ones are the most important. My husbands and I have made it our mission to guide and let know what we know. letting them know we know what is going on, and making no topic off limits. most young people accept agreements, if they know the dangers or pitfalls of a situation. We have told them stories from when we were young, so they know we have made mistakes as well. Loving them and telling them that they cannot do anything that will take away our love for them. Whatever the situation they can at all times call to get picked up - no questions or scolding. Just a hug and a talk - ok long talks :-). It is the same regarding the sleepovers. If it is not spoken about - and kept a secret - in my opinion - it gets more exciting and the possibility of unwanted pregnancies even higher. It is not easy regardless of culture - but would you rather let it happen on a parking lot in the back of a car than in the safety of your own home? I think it is much more easy for the young girls to say No in their own home, than on a parking lot. And she needs to bring him home :-)
I enjoyed your show.
Man.. It's so exciting to learn about the cultural differences between USA and Denmark. Keep it up guys! You rock!
03:35 - This is so important i think. Open conversation, less judgement and more enlightenment is key. Danish kids who are restrained or judged by their parents for drinking often gets a tendency to want to challenge boundaries, and this is especially easy and dangerous in Denmark as youth drinking is prominent. Having young individuals feeling safe with drinking and not associate it with rebeliousness is very important i think. In the end, if you like your parents, you are not going to deliberately try to dissappoint them.
Congratulations on 10k subs. That’s so awesome!
The way you talk about parenthood is cool imo. You seem to value time spent together, and respecting personal boundaries over restrictions.
Dealing with children throughout history has always shown, the second you tell a teenager they are not allowed to do something, is when they put in a good deal of effort to try to do it. But what I’ve seen from Maya so far ... you don’t need to worry too much.
Your view on efterskole is spot on. Awesome way of looking at it. Goes into the whole “trust my child to do the right thing”.
If you guys really want the closest experience you can have to that, you should probably look into maybe taking a few courses on Højskole?
The more I see of you and your danish life, the more convinced I am about you guys not having any problems in adjusting to “being danish”.
You’re awesome! 😉
Thanks!
Trust your kiddo, she aren’t a kid anymore. Let her find her own boundaries, at don’t get too mad if she messes up. My parent always took the time for me to ask questions and generally talk about anything. Some thing I didn’t share, but I for sure know it could if I needed it. If I drank to much, well, bad for me not getting breakfast, had to clean up my own mess. Most of the time my parents just asked it I really thought it was a good idea, I learned a lesson.
As a young adult born and raised in Europe I feel like saying curse words in other languages is not as bad as saying it in my language 😅 I curse in front of my parents in English and Russian 😂 but I would NEVER curse in my language 😅
Are you finish? Or where are u from
it is more than 10 years ago i went to efterskole, and we can still gather more than 20 people for our Julefrokost. Efterskole is for sure one of the best things you can do for your kid.
love you guy`s.
Fantastic that you are up to 10.000 subscribers.
But that must be because you have something relevant to tell people ;)
As a Dane, it's fun to hear how you struggle not to get to say the word sex LOL
Haha, thanks!
You guys are great, I am Danish myself, and i love seeing people like you guys come here and enjoy our country.
Best of luck with everything, I will continue to watch your journey 😊
Thanks, glad you found us!
In the US here. Apparently I have a more Danish outlook. At some point you have to give your child respect for their intelligence. How can they learn how to be adults if you don’t start to interact with them as adults. My daughter is similar to yours, she’s 26 now but was an old lady even in her teens.
Great job guys, I really like your approach and openness! Most Americans are far more dogmatic about these issues. I spent three years in the US and I knew pretty soon that i wouldn't want to be a kid there or raise my own kid in that country. And trust me it's not some sort of anti-American feeling. It's precisely the things that you mentioned (plus a few more, similar things). Trust, safety, autonomy, life skills, taking all the fear and anxiety out of the equation removing taboos as much as possible, it's like a breath of fresh air. If you put side by side an average older American teenager and a European of the same age, you'll see the differences. I am a teacher. I know that age pretty well and I always thought that American teens, even college students are far less mature and responsible than their European (and especially Scandinavian) counterparts. In a place where a parent has to be restrictive because the risk is that they'll get shot or get in a drunk driving accident some things get lost along the way. Think of the fact that in the US you can drive at 16, go and die for your country at 18, but you can have your first beer legally at 21. I know very well why those things happen, but still: It's not healthy. At 21 all those restrictions are removed and I've seen many kids just go ballistic and jump headfirst into the great drinking&sex adventure without having proper skills for it or actually knowing what to expect in a world where they can legally own a killing machine, yet they can go to jail for owning a plant.. I know that this kind of unusual freedom, trust and "let them go, do, try" approach may give you some anxiety, but look around you: you see a society that works, you see generations that are healthier, happier, less troubled (of course there are exceptions). Look at the overall atmosphere in that society. Look at the statistics, the number of incarcerated persons per capita for example. Trust this world and trust Maya, she deserves it. I know you will, I was really glad to see your attitude towards these serious differences!
Love you guys.
Just wanna mention: Girls dont just get pregnent after dark - just saying LOL
Hva?
@@warlorddk2070 tror de prøver at sige at man kan blive gravid alle tider på døgnet, ikke kun til overnatninger. Så hvis de har lyst til at have sex, finder de nok ud af at gøre det på den ene eller anden måde i den tidsramme de har
As a danish teen who has also lived in the US I am super impressed with your attitude about the extreme differences between danish and American culture.
Great Vid. I think there are many things US parents could learn from you guys. I especially like the way You trust your daughter to make her own sound decisions. That ties back to the way you raised her. One thing in particular that resonates with me is that you guys have a relationship build on trust not fear, which means that your daughter will reach out to you if she gets in any kind of trouble. PS: Young people will have sex, no matter if we as parents like it or not. The only difference between allowing sleep overs or not is that under sleep overs the youngsters is in a safe environment. i.e. no alcohol, no drugs, no other guys who would like to join in, less risk of pictures getting taken AND you have been talking to, drinking a cup of tea or coffee with, a face and a name of the lucky guy who might get to be you son in law;-) All the best to you guys.
I very much like your videos and how your lives are going in Denmark. I have been to Denmark four times. Some time spent in Naestved and the rest in Kobenhavn. If I would have been more determined, I think I could have adapted easily in Denmark, especially since I may have had support and encouragement from my Danish friends. I'm glad you made the choice to do so, it will be very much worth your time and effort. Thanks again for posting and updating all of us on your life, routine and your new experiences and adventures.
Have been to Scandinavia several times, 1 time I had to travel to Stockholm by bus, and sitting bye was a little girl who probably was not even 5 years old. I would be scared to travel by bus in the US by myself!
Usually children don't need to take a bus alone before starting school, so she was probably at least 5, and more likely 6.
Efterskole, was such a great time for me. It is costly.. but what an experience. The friendships and memories you make there lasts a lifetime.!
Trust is a two way street. As parents, we want our children to trust us, to feel that they can tell us anything, be it good news, bad news, happy things, their scares, problems in school etc. But for that to work, I believe parents should place just as much trust in their children, as we wish they put in us. It looks as if you have found a solid healthy balance with Maya.
Regarding alcohol, in this household the approach is that our children (16 and 14 y) are allowed to taste what my wife and me are having. So at least they know what they like. None of them have been drunk, and so far haven't really shown much interest in alcohol tbh. But we also emphasize that getting drunk is not something you should do at their age. So we try to make it as natural and taboo free as possible.
The dating/sex thing... well, we try keeping it as natural as it is. So far as parents we have had more conversations with our children regarding this, than we ever had ourselves growing up. I count that as a positive thing (again: trust). But none of them are really ready or interested in dating so far. And Josh, as a father to a 14 year old girl, I think I feel your concern. Guess it's a father/daughter thing: no one will ever be good enough for my princess!
Thanks for yet another great video.
So great to hear from a couple of foreigners, how they experience the transition from US to DK! :D
when my daughters were teenagers they were absolutely not allowed to sleep with boyfriends .. the boys were given the choice to sleep in the living room or sleep in between me and the wife;) never got bothered and the boy slept fine on the couch
I really appreciate your respectful approach when you spoke about the danish drinking culture vs the us drinking culture
You´re the coolest family! Open, honest and curious. Welcome to Denmark, and please enjoy the freedom and happiness. 😉
Efterskole was the best 2 years of my life so i am so happy that you guys think its great too and that Maya experiences it
They Way you pronounced “flødebolle kylling” made me Laugh so hard 😂
I looove your attitude, your honesty and the Way you view our culture. It's an honor to follow you.
I truly hope you're enjoying your Stay. Må I få mange gode oplevelser og minder med på jeres vej.
Congrats on 10.300 subscribers.
Great video.
In addition to Try It On Tuesday, I'd like to suggest Saying It In Danish. Pick subjects and handle that part of the videos in danish.
Thanks, and that is a great idea!
@@TravelinYoung Tal DANSK, DET VIL HJÆLPE JER.
In the uk from 7 years old wevuse to go to the park an roam the local streets, my kids were the same. rules were be home before it gets dark or when you get hungry
Such a pleasant experience following your life in Denmark.
When bars are opening again don't hesitate to drop by Ørsted Ølbar, I'll hook you up with some good danish craft beer. Just ask for Sebastian.
All the best
In Denmark we don't put a giant divide between boys and girls. Growing up I'd regularly have sleepovers with my friends (who mostly happened to be boys), and we'd watch crappy horror movies bundled up together on a floor of mattresses. At 14 my family moved to Florida. In Middle School I watched a girl get reprimanded for hugging a boy (her brother), and I got detention for repeatedly getting caught holding a boy's hand (my bf). It was difficult adjusting to how sheltered everyone else was being treated, and my complete loss of autonomy as I had to have my parents drive me everywhere.
This right here, is how you immigrate the right way. They still have their culture and their ways, but they blend it so seamlessly into our life. Slap fluent danish on this family and you got yourself a family I wouldnt be able to tell was from America 😁
Hi from Finland, I as a kid we lived in Helsinki, population about 500 000 at the time, took us 45min by bus to get to city center and no joke, we were seven years old. Walked to school few kilometers from 6 years old and so on. Oh and just remembered, I was 14 when I got to go to Greece with my buddy and her mum, didnt see her for a week and just were running around with my friend. This was in island of Kos.
Sex education x 100, that’s the way to go. Trust can only be based in good communication between parents and the child going into a relationship. When I had my first boyfriend at 15, my mom took my to the doctor for birth control and the check up that follows. But we never had “the” talk, and I wish my mom would have at least said something about relationship, pressure, hygiene and so on...
This issue of different cultural freedoms is interesting. I'm English with a Danish mother, brought up in inner London. Travelling to & from school was always on my own except when younger than 6. This was first by walking over a mile and then by cycling and by bus. It would never had occurred to me that I wouldn't be able to be this independant. When I was 7yrs I was sent to Denmark for an urgent tonsillectomy (an op. which had a very long waiting list in the UK). I travelled on my own on the boat which was very exciting. I shared a cabin with another young girl who was very mischievous. Together we shamefully made the stewardess mad by ringing her bell 🤭. While in Denmark staying with an aunt, I spent memorable days alone, cycling around exploring, helping with the harvest, trying to milk cows, enjoying having a real dog to play with, sleeping under a cloud-like dyne (duvet), eating rubrød med spypølser etc etc. The memories of all this have stayed sharp ever since and influenced much of what I am today.
Jeg syntes, i lyder meget Danske.-----Vel, jeg er 75 år - og syntes at i gør det godt.👍
ok boomer
Ok Baby Hoved
i remember when i was around 9 or 10 i took the train alone to my grandma, and it was a 2 hour train, i have always felt save as a kid back then, but i feel like time has changed a bit from back then.
You should try kajkage.._ if you can find them._. They are unfortunately rare nowadays._. But they are good._. Its a cake shaped like a frogs head and is named after a danish puppet from a old kids show._. You have to get the big ones because the small ones are not the same._. And you eat them with a small spoon._.
Sounds good, I will find some!
@@TravelinYoung sorry... They are actually not shaped like frog heads but are shaped like the puppets head and the puppet is a frog...
Super Brugsen bakery carries Kajkage.
@@TravelinYoung Well as long as there are any traditional bakeries around in your area (so no Lagkagehuset or Emmery's) you should be able to find some. I was about to suggest Sørens Bageri in Holte but it looks like they've sadly gone the way of the buffalo and have been replaced by a Lagkagehuset cafe. If you can't find any then luckily Super Brugsen, Kvickley, and even a few Dagli' Brugsen stores have fresh baked pastries and small cakes ready to try.
Seriously though my god traditional bakeries are becoming more and more rare here in the capital region by the day. I think the only really traditional one left in the whole of Lyngby is "Den helt rigtige bager" on the corner of Engelsborgvej and Nybrovej. I can see they offer Gåsebryst and a lot of other Danish classics. But no Kajkager
For real though the traditional bakeries are good! Super good stuff, and often cheaper than Lagkagehuset as well.
@@SphinxDG Oh heck that's fantastic, there's one near DTU (the technical university)!
Your daughter seems SO well-adjusted, sweet and cool..! I wouldn't worry about her..! 🙏
As a Dane I kind of grew up with the use of the F-word like you mention and it wasn't a big deal. If I used danish swear words though - it would definitely be reprimanded unlike the f-bomb. Like someone else mentions in the comments - it must be the fact that for us, it's a foreign word.
Anyway - one thing that I wonder. I play quite a bit online games on computer and consoles and have quite a few american friends. Most of them use the f-word and a lot of other english swear words very generously. It's not even age dependant - it seems pretty spread out. I wonder why it's such a big deal in the US when everyone of my friends speak "french" so eloquently ;-)
Yeah, that is an interesting perspective I hadn't considered until these comments. Not being your native language does change meaning and intent when using English curse words. I guess for me growing up with only 1 language, there wasn't another version of curse words we'd ever use.
As for your question, I do think curse words are more openly said today than before, but it depends on the company. I would use F-bombs around friends or likely in anonymous communities like online gaming (if that were available as a kid) but not around my parents or other adults. It's almost like our first language is what we say in the presence of parents/family compared to a second language of what we say when we are with friends. All english of course, but the vocabulary may be a tad different :).
@@TravelinYoung definitely a matter of language barrier. F-bombs sounds milder than using Danish curses.
But there is also a generational aspect.
Older people, (I'm 33 and ill say around my parent's generation) will tend to use blafemic curse words and consider curse words about body functions to be uglier while younger generations tend to use these body function curses and not use blasfemy language as much.
you're really nailing the danish way of parenting, by giving you kid a lot of responsibility about how to behave. I like you ideas and values about choosing efterskole. I went to America as a exchange student, instead of doing efterskole, after the primary school years.
Remember when you trust your young person and do not hand out a ban, what was banned is no longer exciting. and when a young person has turned about 15 years old, it is difficult to educate on those you can advise and guide it And hope for the best .. then you also seem as if you are very liberal American parents.
i think you are doing a great job as parents. You are already more Danish than a lot of people who have been her 20 years.. i love u guys the whole package :)
My mom is the one who "taught" me to swear but I try to limit it, although it can be liberation to just express all your emotions xD
It's interesting to hear how you experience the difference, and I'm guessing your daughter is attending an Efterskole?
She is! She loves it!
@@TravelinYoung I have a lot of friends and family that that that too, and they loved it too.
And it's interesting to hear you talk about how it kinda also teaches them to become adults in a way :)
Yeah, trust your daughter and just be ready to help her out if she gets in over her head a bit, as we all did in our teens.
Tbh the absolute worst things that scare us with our teens are things they have no hand in, and that is such a brutal thing to know - we, or they, can't really control their way out of the really bad stuff.
The normal rough life experiences we can control to some extent, be those we also just deal with with time and parental support, and life moves on.
You've got this, all three of you.