5 Signs You Know You are Raising Your Child in Denmark🇩🇰 / American🇺🇸 in Denmark (2019)
HTML-код
- Опубликовано: 15 июл 2024
- #raisechildrenindenmark #americanexpatindenmark
Hi! I am Kelly, an American living in a small town in Denmark. Come along as I share with you my impressions of what it is like to raise children in Denmark. I reveal 5 Signs You Know You are Raising Your Child in Denmark. These are the things that stick out in my mind as being different from what is commonly the norm in the USA. I will tell you what it is like to be an American parent in Denmark, and how parenting in Denmark has changed my view of not only parents in Denmark, but also of myself.
If you are interesting in where to get nice outdoor wear for children (and adults), check out Termoland at www.termoland.dk/shop/frontpa....
Have your checked out my blog?? Get more on Denmark and my expat thoughts at My New Danish Life.
If you LIKED this video :), be sure to LIKE my Facebook page where I share everything from pictures to blog posts to special messages.
Follow Me:
📚BLOG: www.mynewdanishlife.com/
🌼Instagram: / my_new_danish_life
🌺Facebook: / mynewdanishlife
🐦Pinterest: / mynewdanishlife
🕊️Twitter: / danishnew
✨TikTok: / my_new_danish_li
Are you interested in working with me to promote your brand, product or destination? Contact me at: mynewdanishlife.com@gmail.com
My New Danish Life is a lifestyle and travel blog and RUclips channel telling about my American life in Denmark. I love to share my thoughts with you to help bridge a gap between two cultures and see just how we can all learn from each other! Thanks for watching!
This post contains affiliate links, which means that at no extra cost to you, I will make a commission if you click a link and make a purchase. Thanks for your support!
Just wanted to make it clear that we (in Denmark) generally respect the elders, but can loose the respect again if we aren’t treated fairly by them!
amanda steenholdt They young generation doesn’t show that much respect to the elderly generation anymore, and I think it’s kinda a problem.
Vickie Christiansen I think it‘s right that we lost some respect for the elders, (if you would say it that way) by not trusting that everything they say is true. And yes, I would also say that a small part of the young generation doesn’t respect the elders, but generally we do!
If you respect me I will respect you and that’s how I’m raised. I don’t care how old or young you are
Jennifer Lyberth I that is very right, and a great point of view in life!
In my experience, both growing up as a child in Denmark and with children now that I'm the adult - Kids are taught to respect people *because* they are treated as equals: learning by example, rather than rely on some arbitrary illusion of authority.
I was driving around in the US with some friends, at one point we whent into a big gun store, we dont have that in DK and whant to check it out. We all look at each other when we found every thing from sniper rifels, machine guns, shotguns ect and talk about who would need a big 12,7mm sniperrifle.Then the door open and in came a granddad and his grandson, the granddad was buying hes grandson his first handgun, not sure how old the kid was my gues was 10-12 year. It was hes birthday gift. Well you might see a danish school kid working with a hammer and nails, but i can asure you no school kid in DK owns a handgun or hunting riffle.
True but you can shoot them in a club.
Tuborg and Carlsberg kill more Danes than you may ever know !
@@albertocassinelli1218 I highly doubt that, vodka and other strong alcohol sure.
stupid regime
alberto cassinelli xDDDDDDD you are quite ignorant lol. There has not been a mass shooting incident in Denmark in the past... *F O R E V E R*
The things you are describing that children can do their in Denmark can only be done in a culture and country which is very safe for children. Denmark sounds awsome!
So true, one of the most heated debats in Denmark the last few years is wolves. They been returning in very few numbers, 2-5. But people are going crazy on both sides. From shoot them all, to import more.
But clearly you can just have free romring children playing with wolves.
grizzmax, i’m a 19 year old from Denmark, and I can relate to everything she says according to children having a lot of freedom in school. When you are a teenager in a danish school, most teachers would let you go to the toilet during classes without even getting permission (you just leave the classroom and come back in silence) which I think is a very cultural thing based on mutual trust!
When I, on a school trip, went to the USA we visited two high schools in NYC, and I was SO surprised that you needed to have hall passes to leave the classroom! Also there were metal detectors at the school entrance, and an alarm would go off if you opened the doors to the streets. Also one of the schools had guards walking around the halls carrying weapons... it was so surprising how it seemed that nobody trusted each other, and everything had to be so controlled to be safe :(
@@krisk5765 What a load of bullocks!
@@krisk5765 i must say as a fact, that Denmark is the 5th safest country in the world. check it out yourself.
Astrid Andersen - because we don’t have guns.
In Denmark we have a saying.."there is no such thing as bad weather only dressing badly" 😊
Same a bit further south in Schleswig-Holstein.
Sandt! Så sandt
Yeah, but not in America, when you're standing in the middle of a hurricane..
Same in Norway
Ja og det har alle dage været noget forsludret vrøvl. Din påklædning gør ikke vejret mere egnet til enhver opgave. Jeg har ihvertfald ikke set det tøj der fks gør et storm og regnfuldt vejr det egnet til at lægge nyt tagpap på garagen, eller det tøj der gør rejsning af ny flagstang i tordenvejr optimalt.
I feel like the hole, we dont call people sir or mam and so on... is cool because we dont respect the teatcher because they are a teatcher. We respect them because they earned the respect. Love from Denmark
I am reminded of my army days. One warrant officer explained "Fenrik is a title, and that is what you salute. Respect is earned". Example captain Sobel in BoB. the men did not respect him, but they saluted his rank (grudgingly, but they did)
Politeness should be automatic; respect and loyalty should be earned.
I teach in the Danish Gymnasium (roughly 11th to 13th grade high school), most of my students see me as a friend and confidante, but I have but to look at them the right way if they stray from the path too much, then they will be back on track.
The equality teaches independent thinking and problem-solving and questioning the "established way of doing things". Which is important for development and evolution of ideas.
I can understand that. I just know too many people who were lost through the cracks so to speak. They could've benefited from more structure and guidance.
As a student I really like that teachers are called by their first name, because even though I respect my teacher and my teacher have some power over me, my teacher is not above me. We are worth the same in the end.
I don't think that I would respect my teachers as much if I had to call them by their last name.
So true and we respect teachers very much 👍😊 They do a very important job and have a lot of impact in how well a student is doing.
My son went to forest daycare. He absolutely loved it. I like having less of a hierarchy feel here in Denmark, but we still have boundaries. Children may call their teachers by their first names, just like I how can talk to my boss. That doesn’t mean we’re not aware of who’s actually in charge when things get serious.
My (as a Dane) favorite thing to do as a child was the Saturdays thing. Then me and my big brother went on adventures (alone) wherever we wanted. By the big lake, crossing a field (chased by angry cows), running on a beach etc. After three or four hours we went back home and told our mother what we've experienced. Those were the days!
Edit: I was 5 to 10 years, my brother one year older.
I remember the first time I went to parent student conference at school where my son was expected to attend and listen to criticism/praise from the teacher. I really respected this process - the kids in Denmark 🇩🇰 at 17 are more mature than American kids.
Wait until the turn 16 and buy alcohol 🍺 legally - it’s a cultural line to cross 😂😂
I agree, but I also think the younger kids (less than 10) are much more impolite in DK than the US, but I think being a teacher shows me much more, more often.
My New Danish Life we moved our kids public to private school in Denmark for this reason - the kids learned less because the teachers unfortunately spent too much time on the kids who couldn’t behave and the teachers have no backup from the administrators - the level of learning of the individual kid comes down to collective.
Hi Kelly. I just found your channel a few weeks ago, and have inhaled most of your videos since then. As a Dane it is always interesting to hear another perspective on what Denmark and being Danish is. But what I really want to say is thank you! You have such a relatable, cool, adorable (I don't mean to be demeaning) and fun approach to this that I enjoy every second of your videos. So thank you for sharing your views, and please keep up the great work!
For my perspective: It’s normal for an adult to tell a child if they doing something wrong, or something yiu don’t like, also if it isn’t your own kid.
I agree with the respect thing I lived all my life in Denmark until I was 15 and all the time I was in school in Denmark I used to call my teachers by there name I then moved to America and now I have to call my teacher Mr or Ms
When I went to Kindergarten in North Jutland we were outside for 4 hours in a snowstorm! It was a happy time!:)
Friday candy is also a kind of a cozy thing. You know 'HYGGE'. It only about that
I'm born and grown up in Denmark and I have had a good relationship for my teachers, always. It’s nice having teachers you can have fun with and talk to. It gave me a better time in school because I think that it makes things easier for the teacher and students having a good relation to each other. In all, I have been very happy about it, but of course, does the teacher gets the last word just like a parent. You experience such a great thing at a boarding school (DK: efterskole). You will have a very close relationship with the teachers at a boarding school very often. I had and some of the other students had too. Actually, I did not watch a lot of Disney sjov in my childhood, but I still got a bit of fredagsslik and sometimes I did not eat fredagsslik, haha.
I guess it is something you have yet to experience, and you are definitely going to be somewhat shocked if you aren't ready for it, but your kids will probably start going to parties that involve alcoholic beverages when they turn 14 or 15, which I imagine is not something that you would see in the USA.
People t
Some elder students at my school drinks and smokes I think it's disgusting and I'm only a year younger than them but I do get a beer sometimes
Dragonborn1402 du lyder da kedelig
You know that you cannot control 14-15 years olds. Show them confidence and tell them if something is going wrong call us! Even they happen to have drunk too too much. Make them call you when something went wrong. That's how they show their respect to you - and show them you love them. They have maybe already learnt they're lesson that moment - maybe even their first. Not easy for parents either :-) With my 76 years I have lived through a lot of them like when my 16 year old time daughter called and crying told me that she "lost her legs" :-) - with happy ending - she has since taken 4 different grades in four completely areas :-)
In Copenhagen we send our kids in - Udflytter børnehave. They pic The kids up in a small daycare in The City and Then drive in a bus out to the forrest where some have a old House or a small hut and stay there The hole Day. It is fantastic!!
Cute video and so true with the clothes :) My Danish wife and I have lived in DK for many years and we moved here from the US when my boys were around 10. I'm so thankful we did that because the way they grew up outside was similar to the way I grew up as a child (8+ hours a day outside every day!). They are by no means jungle animals but balanced. Not afraid of experiencing nature. Love your videos and your blog. You guys are living the same experiences as my wife and I, the camping, the travel and the culture... and it's so relatable :) Keep up the great content!
I really enjoy your videos, thank you very much😄. The one thing I agreed with in this video is the “respect” for “elders”. There is a need to learn respect for all kids in Denmark. I agree freedom is good for kids, but having respect for all people is also important.
Thank you for another great video. It´s nice to hear your opinion about how we live in Denmark versus in the United States of America. Keep up the good work and your starting to show some danish humor in these videos and i enjoy it more....;-)
I think you nailed this one 😄
I agree. I think you have a very balanced approach
As a former school teacher and mother, whose children are adults now, I love the Danes' emphasis on fresh air, sunshine, and outdoor play/exploration. When my children were young, we would go to the park every weekend. We'd stop at a little bakery, pick up bags of day-old bread, and go feed the ducks and geese! I would pack a picnic lunch and we would spread our picnic blanket out under a shady tree and enjoy our lunch in each other's company watching the mallards and Canadian geese. After lunch, we would go over to the little playground where they could swing, slide and climb on monkey bars. Their happy memories are more often about these simple moments. They still laugh about this very large, fat goose who would run towards us when he saw us coming with our bags of bread. He would playfully untie my daughter's shoelaces and sit in her lap. We always found something new to explore and plenty to talk about on these outdoor adventures. We would spend hours at the parks and playgrounds - and always came home with rosy cheeks! Happy times. I constantly see U.S. parents using cell phones, IPad, etc. as "pacifiers/ entertainment for their young children and it's perverse to me unless you are on a long trip spending hours in a car or plane. Children need fresh air, sunshine and physical exercise for their physical AND mental well-being. Once again, Denmark has it right!
Kinda a shame you didn't have an infant... our babies sleep outside in their pram (barnevogn)... my girl slept outside under our big tree.. i even sat next to her and crocheted a blanket while she slept... during the winter months i had a baby monitor out there with her while i did stuff inside.. and i could see her from the window...napping outside was the best... the way they looked when you went outside to take them in after a few hours... just the perfect temperature, rosy cheeks and a big smile ❤
When my kids were babies, they napped outside in the US. Just not in the winter. We get -20degrees and lots of snow!
I grew up in the countryside here in Denmark. We had a dog that would guard me when I was sleeping outside in a pram. Not that I needed a guard but the dog did like me.
Now that I'm a parent. Both my two girls used to nap outside
@@MyNewDanishLife So? I fail to see the problem. :)
@@MyNewDanishLife i think the limit is around minus 10c... she slept in a voksipose... they are fantastic 😊
Well we have learned not to blindly trust authority. We only respekt people that have earned it. That some times make quite alternative situations in the classroom. The whole last name thing just distends the teacher and the child
-flashbacks from my younger days-
Yep, I was definitely raised in Denmark
Yeah, at my daycare when i was little, we had a place we went to every second week, called "Natur gården" Which translate into "The Nature farm" it was a shot down farm, that they had bought and put chickens and goats out there, and we would go out there every day the whole week, and do stuff in the woods, play inside the farm house (It had a pillow room, so we went abit crazy in there from time to time) and feed the goats and chickens.. it was such a good time, that still this day, 25 years later, i still remember it clearly.
1:39 just a reminder. Its called flyverdragt translated to flightsuit because of its design :)
flightsuit er hvis du oversætter direkte. Ifølge ordbogen er flyverdragt og snowsuit det samme.
Mener du termokedeldragten 🤔
Lidt samme snak som kørestol og rullestol
Det er heller ikke en helikopterdragt bare fordi den ligner noget en helikopterpilot flyver i, mere end noget en SAS pilot går rundt i
Navnet flyverdragt kommer da selvsagt fra man bedre kan kaste barnet og give barnet en flyvetur uden det kommer til så meget til skade 😀
Den slags skulle meget gerne kun forgå med kinesiske dværge nu om dage
Det var i gamle dage vi gjorde den slags med vores børn i dk
Kids from Copenhagen, get bussed for the day to Forest Daycare (Skovbørnehave)
I live up in northern Sjælland and there are at least 4 Copenhagen Kindergartens here 😍
In Copenhagen, they do also have Forrest kindergartens (skovbørnehaver), in many childcare places, they have 2 teams of kids, coming in every day, one of the team then take the bus out to a Forrest kindergarten the one week, that could be 30, 40 or 50 kilometers away, the other team stays at home in the kindergarten in the city for one week, they could also have a tour out to something, like sailing or zoo or whatever they can find out, could also go to a public playground once a while, so that they will not be at the same playground, they have back in their kindergarten every time.
Next week they swap, that way everybody has a little of both
The missing respect that you mention, is often mentioned by foreigners. However the use of titles in Denmark is reserved for the royal family. Doesn't matter whether you're a university professor or a kid in kindergarten, people will use your first name. In general we Danes have little respect towards titles, but huge respect towards people treating others as equals. At work I would call everyone including the CEO by first name and nobody would see it as a sign of being disrespectful.
i think its important for you to or any adult to set an example and mark theyre authority, so as a dane i dont see anything wrong with putting kids in theyre place. bein able to shift between being strict and not so strict, is important. i think it teaches the kids situational awareness, but im not exactly experienced in the raising of children.
I think that in Denmark it is the parents that is being blamed most if their childen don't behave but of course I will not tolerate bad behaviour in my home by anyone either.
I don't know if you have seen the TV series called "Rita", it is on Netflix and maybe on TV2play too. On Netflix you can see it with English subtitle and it shows a lot about the child vs adult and teacher vs child in Denmark. I highly recommend it.
I love this show! It's found it when randomly searching for Danish content with English subtitles. I have watched the series multiple times now, I love it! Also check out the spin-off Hjørdis, it's only 4 episodes but it's so heartwarming!
Swimming lessons are importand, so much water in and around denmark.
Tommy simonsen swimming is boring and im danish
can we just take over the world now
LOL I love your videos. I'm a Dane, but I was an au pair in the US for a year taking care of two US toddlers which taught me quite a lot about hthe difference between bringing up a kid in the US and Denmark. Later on, my husband and I lived in the US for a year with our two kids, one in middle school and one in high school. So I know exactly where you're coming from! Btw, I had to laugh at your story about spending time finding your child in the after school/SFO each day because they are more or less unsupervised. I suddenly remembered the many, many frustrating times I spent trying to locate my kids in Danish after schools. And now that you point it out, I also realize how totally disorganized that may seem to an American (and also how stressful it was to any parent because... as you know, we all kínda have somewhere to go!) Eventually, you learn that it'll take half an hour to pick up each kid LOL
the way you explain that you raising your kids, it's the same that many families I know raise our kids. My kids are 5 and 11, and they don't get fredagsslik.
the point I've noticed is special in Denmark is that our babies have their naps in their pram outside, even in winter.
Denmark here...
My 14 year old daughter has some amazing teachers. The classroom is quiet, but there is room for fun with the teacher. Now my daughter's Danish teacher has stopped and a new one has started. My daughter comes home and says "they can do anything". I think ohhh nooo. When a child smells weakness, they go for the throat.
A teacher must be fair and firm.
My uncle and my cousin are teachers. They both say that in the beginning, when they get new students, they are really strict, so when the children know how to behave, they can ease the rules a little in between.
I have no doubt that the teachers the children care about the most, are the ones who demand something from them, of course with care and understanding.
Ahhhhh, fredagsslik and Disney Sjov. What a time to be alive :-)
Its so nice you got a nicr balance. I'm dating a Dane and it amazes me the emphases on family, his his family are like my own. Also so true about the business world, the flat hierarchy was so weird for me, it took me a few weeks before I could genuinely give feedback to the CEO and not feel like a trap.
I grew up north of Copenhagen, but moved to Jutland, where I’ve raised my children. I agree with your thoughts on parenting, and in my family and many others it works like in your family - dialogue and mutual respect, but a clear understanding that the parents are higher rank and make the final decisions. In my experience the families, where children are making the decisions, are families with insecure parents or parents that are absent a lot of the time. You can also encounter parents like this in other parts of the world.
I love your videos and watch them a lot. I was in Kansas for a year, going to high school and living with an American family. I think one important difference between raising children in the U.S. and in Denmark is that here it is illegal to spank your children. In the town where I lived in Kansas spanking children as a means of control was very common.
Spankings were very common in my childhood, as well. The teachers were also allowed to spank children at school. Not anymore, though.
I don't remember "Friday Candy" when I lived in Copenhagen in the early 80s, but of course that was a long time ago. Although I was in high school at the time, I had a younger brother who watched all the kid shows. What they had back then was a half-hour bloc of cartoons on Saturday afternoons around 4 or so. They always had the same format - one of those old 1940s Disney classic shorts like you describe, followed by an old classic Warner Brothers Bugs Bunny cartoon, followed by an old classic MGM Tom and Jerry cartoon, followed by a really old black and white cartoon from the 1930s or 40s. I don't know if the kids had a tradition of eating candy while watching the shows, if they did then my family didn't know about it!
OMG LOVE the Friday Candy tradition! So fun!!
Kids will become adults, so it makes sense to prepare them and let them learn how to learn and how to figure things out by themselves.
I think the day trips to forrest is pretty new thing. Dont remember it when i attended børnenehave in from 1997-1999. Not even in the 2000 ☺️
Thanks for letting me know. I am still learning about Denmark it seems! :)
With regards to the freedom children have.
I am studying to become a teacher here in Denmark, and on of the primary things we learn is to give children a choice of what they want to learn in a particular lesson, ofcourse it isnt like they get to just do what they want but, that we give them several different options, so that the children have a feeling that they are involved in the decision making. We are taught that that is one of the many ways to ensure we get the maximum amount of cooperation with the children in our classes.
As for the Respect thing.
In general Danish culture is really based on Janteloven, the idea that everyone is equal and no one is better than someone else. Personally to me that means that when it comes to work ofcourse youll need to respect your bosses, but as soon as you leave the boss is your equal.
Btw as a Dane i love your content because it puts aspects of Denmark i personally take for granted into perspective, and makes me think why do we actually do it like that :-)
Good luck with your studies. I loved being a teacher.
I love that we dont really have a dresscode c:
This is a great video, because it shows the differences between cultures and how children are treated - and there is always goods and bads to everything, but afterall the children are the parents responsibility and they decide how they raise their children. How ever, there is also a particulary culture ind the daycare and school system which sometimes collides with the way the parents do things, thats not bad, it just gives the kid to kind of views of how things can be done.
Reminds me of 70's America.. Yes most kids wore snow suits to school and play. We had rain boots. We spent a lot of time outside for recess and field trips. Art classes and shop classes let us use tools.. In Middle school I made sculptures with molten wax.. In Jr High shop class let us use lathes , blow torches and arc welders. Our Friday candy time was Saturday morning cartoons with a big bowl of sugar cereal.
Sounds like it isn't that way any more. Why?
Hey Kelly...
I think it would be very interesting to know, what you think about the Danish justice system? (And the strict gun law). It's not really a secret, that we treat people(criminals) a bit different here in Denmark, compared to the US.
I would love to see a video of the teacher-student roles
I did go to forrest daycare (skovbørnehave) we was outside all day all year around
In my childhood fredagsslik was eating a box of GaJols while listening to my father reading the next chapter of the childrens novel we were reading. It was later replaced with Lørdagsdesset.
Also in Denmark you are not allowed to Beat up (disipline) your child.
Bent Overgaard
That’s why I found it weird when my Ukrainian friend told me she’d been hit as a child 😅
Bent Overgaard where are you allowed to do that..?
Light The stars demon drink the vodka and ur fine
Still happened though
I live just outside Copenhagen and there’s often schools and kindergartens from Copenhagen who just takes the train to our area to go in the forest
I come from the Faroe Islands, raising my kids here in Denmark. In the Faroe Islands we have an easter tradition of painting hard boiled eggs and then going outside to roll them down the hill until they break. It's kind of like a competition to see who's egg is going to last the longest or who can roll their eggs farthest. It makes a giant mess, but the seagulls love to feast on the leftovers. We tried it here in Denmark but it wasn't the same, because Denmark is really flat. I don't know if people do that in any other country. I haven't heard about it. So I have no idea where this tradition originated. Would be nice to know.
They do it every year on Samsø.
www.visitsamsoe.dk/inspiration/trille-paaskeaeg/
Hi Kelly, I am a Norwegian married to an American. I have lived in the US before. We got two boys. Interesting how many things about your experience is so similar to Norway. The whole thing of dressing up in special clothes and being a lot outside is something I thought was very Norwegian. I didn't know Danes was into too. I mean Denmark is such a tiny country with much milder climate. Here the climate is harsher and there is far more terrain, mountains and forests so being outside and know how to dress appropriately is natural. Cool than Denmark is similar though.
I know British parents with kids here have also been a bit shocked by the freedom kids get here. E.g. that they are using hammers, knives, saws and nails in pre-school. They think it is kind of cool though. We are a bit more careful as parents though then when I was a child. I did a lot of stuff that I am not sure I would have liked my kids to do. When I was a kid a lot of us walked around with knives and played various games with other kids which involved throwing knives. That would scare the shit out of me now.
Norwegian pre-school (barnehage) also have these pictures with what to wear, what layers to use etc. And yes the kids get very dirty. There are sandboxes, climbing walls, a little forrest, slides and many other things. Now they go to elementary school and it is even more messy with locating them. School unlike pre-school in Norway has no fence or clear boundary. First things kids learn about is "the invisible fence" they have to get used to. So yes I also end up spending a lot of time locating my youngest kid.
Here in Norway it is not friday candy but saturday candy. That was kind of a funny twist I was not aware of. When I was a kid that just meant a chocolate bar though. Our kids don't have saturday candy here in Norway. I don't care about being 100% Norwegian ;-)
I did not experience children in the US but I studied at Uni and talked with my wife. And yes I would say my impression is that American childhood is a lot more micromanaged. I think the Nordic thinking is that children need to learn independence. They need to learn to take care of themselves and make mistakes. I felt that difference at US undergrad. Many American teenagers felt a bit immature IMHO. They don't know how to manage themselves. They go kind of crazy with the freedom. I visited my room mates house in some weekends and was a bit surprised how much his mom micromanaged him and the other kids. It seems a bit odd to me given that she knew he had to manage himself at college.
Note though that I am more careful than the average Norwegian parent. But that is partly because my youngest son had a very serious accident in the US. It went well in retrospect but kind of mentally scared me. It makes it hard to be totally relaxed about what they do.
But there is not right and wrong. I think in the US there is just far more ambition. American parents are far more concerned about their children succeeding and less willing to leave that to chance. Scandinavians are more relaxed about that. We let our kids figure out more stuff themselves because regardless of what you end up doing you will be pretty well off in Scandinavia with the extensive welfare system and compressed wage structure. In the US your choices in life have far more dramatic consequences.
Copenhagen also has many Forest day cares. They go there by bus.
Yup.. that was me growing up.. I recognize it all :-)
Those forest schools sound amazing.
You should definitely watch this ☺️
ruclips.net/video/j_2NIhXrjIQ/видео.html
Great video!
How is your kids Danish coming along? Because i would Think it would be very difficult leaening a new language while having to a just to all these new things
They were fluent within a few months! Benefits of putting them in a Danish-only school!
hoverparents, the bane of any creativity and learning through experience including accidents.
In Sweden it is Saturday candy. My sisters daughter just found out that grownups sometimes eat candy on other days. She was so upset. Her core understanding of the laws of life was shattered.
That is funny! :)
When i’m thinking of raising a kid in denmark i’m thinking of the relation between parents and school. (I don’t like it but) in denmark if the student is not happy about something they will tell their parents and then the parents will be mad and write to the school. Have this been 60 years ago the teacher would write home to the parents and then the parents would be mad at their kid.
If you talk to a child like its equal to yourself, you make a connection a kind of bond with the child, using that bond you can teach them loads of things, because they feel you respect them, and automatically most children will respect you. Sometimes if they break the few rules there have to be concequenses and most of the time, the child will understand why they got these concequenses, of course some children never learn, but most children do, and if you are very clear in your conversation and your daily behavior they know excactly how far they can go, without crossing the lines. At least thats my experience as a pedagogue.
there is a fine line where respect is taught, meaning consequences has to be clearly laid out for equality to exist. say your kid doesn't clear up after him/herself, a stearn talking to and explanation why you are not their servant is fine, with letting them know that if they make a mess they need to clean up after themselves, that is after all what being family is all about, be respectful of each other.
I have just been looking at many of your videos. Why should I do that as a dane. It finde it very interesting. I learn a lot about culture differences US vs DK. But you often says what is different to USA. But a lot of your experience, from a small town in Jylland, it is so different form where I live. Even in little Denmark there is a big difference from region to region. Small/big towns. So I have learned a bit of my own country that I was not aware of. I was born on a little island but now living in copenhagen. It would probably be a culture shock for me to move to north jutland. But When you compare to USA there must be a huge difference living in California vs Maine.
These things are similar in all the Scandinavian countries.
Except we have Lördagsgodis (Saturday candy) in Sweden rather than the Friday candy.
Its called lørdagsslik in Denmark. Depends on the region sence some have fredagsslik or Disney slik
Ok, I have some insight to the cursing thing. Not because I am Danish, or because I am an American raising a child in Denmark. I am American, but I am a second language learner.
If I were going to sum it up, I think there is something about having a curse word that you can freely say without open judgement by the society around you.
Let me explain: I'm not down with cursing, I absolutely don't curse in front of my children and teach them to not curse (although I am guilty of dropping one under my breath if I smash my foot in the door, but I think that is quite human). So, when I learned French curse words and some Korean from Korean shows, I felt the desire to say them in moments of frustration or...just because. Sometimes I would, because it didn't have those roots deep down where I knew HOW exactly offensive it was, because I had never been immersed in Korean or French culture and dropped a few severe curse words at a dinner party or whatever. So it felt good to let off a curse word, and nobody would really give a reaction because they had no grid for what it really meant. I knew I wouldn't ever drop those words in front of a Korean or French person. I did, however, know what kind of reaction I would get if I dropped the F bomb at my kids' school, or to a police officer, so there was that hesitation of using them freely.
Now, I am aware that most Danes speak English very well, and know what the bad word are, but what I am saying is that it is quite possible, that they feel quite free in using English curse words because the real meaning of them is not firmly rooted into them, like their Danish curse words are. Which is probably why you don't hear them dropping Danish curse words, because there would be a collective judgement by Danes. This of course is just the insight that I have on my own experience, but I thought it may perhaps be the phenomenon of why people freely use offensive words of their non native tongue, but not their own. :))
Love your videos by the way, so fun to learn about different cultures.
I worked 11 years in a skovbørnehave, what striked other people the most, was that we had no physical boundaries. We had a tree on one site, a path on the other side. In all 11 years only 1 child did go out in the forest, and we had to look. It was no problem at all, our rules were respected. 😊
They have skovbørnehaver in Copenhagen. They have their own bus driving out of the city every day.
That is great! Is it just one school or are there many that do that?
@@MyNewDanishLife several. Not schools but børnehaver. I worked in one when I was younger and living in Nørrebro/Copenhagen
I believe that respect (and disrespect) is earned. It's not something you're entitled to. The way I see it, there are three states of respect: Disrespect, neutral and respect. Whenever I meet a stranger, they start in "neutral" with me by default. In "neutral" I will treat you kind and fair, but I will neither respect nor disrespect you. Depending on your actions/behavior over time, you will either EARN respect or disrespect and I will treat you accordingly.
"Respect" and "good manners" shouldn't be confused with one another (even though they often are). I can easily show good manners to someone, I don't respect in the slightest. Good manners are about how I ACT with you. Respect is about how I THINK of you.
We generally don't use Sir/Ma'am or last names, when addressing people. I have called pretty much every adult in my life by their first name; from the grown-ups in the kindergarten to my professors at the university. Sometimes even my parents!
The only exception were my time in the military. We would (due to tradition) generally refer to others by their [last name] or [rank, last name] - or if they had a nickname that was generally accepted by themselves and others.
maxtor1981 This is why lots of people from other cultures have a hard time connecting with the Danes: in society and the workplace. Take it from someone who has experience with both. 🤷🏼♀️
@@MyNewDanishLife Which part of it?
i remember my after-school time, i was outside all the time and there was an adult "patrolling" the school yard. but we were left to our own must of the time.
that little text window made me laugh
So cool to see this. I'm Danish tring to teach my girls American traditions and English. So fun to find you here.
I feel like you need to be able to both talk to a child as an equal but also know when and how to say "we are doing this now" and have them listen.
My niece is 4 and we play and talk and so as equals but when I say you gotta finish your meal or you gotta take your plate to the dishwasher she will do it because she knows that it has consequences if she doesn't (for example I wont play with her or no candy for Disney sjov and so on)
I hope that makes sense :) all in all I feel like you can treat a kid like an equal and still demand respect from them and have them do as you say.
i will say the way you say you deal with the adult to equal subject is how most people do. adults are in charge parrent or not. While we do have that closer level in equality between adults and kids, the adults still take charge and are expected to.
Some parrents dont and that is up to them (i dont personally agree) but the wast majority have a relationship to their kids much like you describe from your own household.
And last i gotta say.. i love when you speak danish :D i have another African-American friend who lives in Odense, by the name of Sydney.. great guy, but he still cant prenounce "Ø" .. he says "Vi ses på Lordag" :D i mean, i understand him every time, but he is not saying it right :D but i still love him... he's awesome!
I am shooketh. How can you not get friday candy? I know some weird people get it saturday, but still. But not getting it at all? How's that going to work?
Hi I’m from Denmark and it is so interesting to hear your perspective on danish living and culture. Where in Denmark do you live, Jylland, Fyn or Sjælland? :)
+CHH Jutland
How fun. Me too :)
I think I get your point, but that fridge example is pretty ridiculous. Just because children aren't nescesarely below adults, they still don't have a right to rummage through your fridge. I mean, if we invited an adult/elder person over and they started to go through my fridge, I would tell them off (I'm 17). And you can also tell a kid off even though it's not your own, if that kid is behaving badly, but that doesn't mean that you are more worth than the kid.
In Denmark, we are all equal, but we still respect authorithies if we feel that they deserve it (by this I mean, that we are taught to be critical in school and not just follow blindly)
Respect goes both ways
So true 😊
Hi, I actually have a question for you. I was wondering which "normal" American rules that you think you would like to implement in your children's upbringing in Denmark? I know that your children are still very young but would your children for an example, be allowed to drink from the age of like 16 or maybe even younger, since there isn't really a legal drinking age in Denmark? Considering that the norm that I presume that you are used to would be young people start drinking at the age of 21... I'm sorry for the long comment 😊
As an American fan of Kelly, I will just state my personal opinion on this. My husband and I do not have children yet but we like to discuss how we will want to parent in the future. I am American while he is British and we hope to move to Denmark than have a family there. Also for a bit of personal context I was raised by quite older, strict, extremely Christian parents while he was raised by teenage parents who were very hippie so this may affect our views.
We have agreed that from around age 5 it will be okay for our children "tastes" or small samples of beer or wine. Then at 14 or 15 it will be okay for them to have 1 beer or glass of wine in supervised situations. Then slightly more at 16, in supervised situations. At 17 and 18 I'm okay with them "binge" drinking. Obviously, this may not happen as I can't predict how parenting will actually turn out.
My reasons behind this are in late high school and early university I did like to party quite a bit. At larger parties my female friends and I were constantly being sexually harassed, grabbed, or had attempted or sexual assault occur. The assault and harassment weren’t just from fellow American students either. I personally was harassed by male students from different parts of the US, Denmark, Republic of Congo, Argentina, and Norway.
The older I got the better able I was to stand up for and protect myself. I just worry about letting a 14-year-old child binge drink with their peers and not being mature enough to notice when someone is trying to take advantage of them or stand-up when they feel uncomfortable. I also worry about having a child who doesn't fully understand consent at that age and pressuring someone into a sexual situation or thinks it is funny to shout inappropriate things at someone because their friends think it is a laugh.
I also worry about having young kids who would get in the car with a drunk or high driver. I was always very careful about that but I felt like the younger I was the less serious my peers felt about getting in the car with an intoxicated driver or driving intoxicated. I felt the younger we were the more this occurred, as well because fewer people had licenses/cars and there was no other way to get home.
I remember one time I went to this party that was hosted at a location where Nirvana took some iconic photos. My friend and I stayed sober. On the other hand, our DD went off for hours with some girl he wanted to impress and did ecstasy for the first time. He was high the 5+ hours later we had to drive home.
My friend and I argued with him that we hadn’t even drank, so one of us should drive. We ended up try to wrestle him for the car keys. This struggle ended up knocking his phone into the water and with him dangling the car keys over the pier saying he’d drop them if we didn’t let go of him. It was 3am and we were an hour away from home, we decided to give up and just let him drive. I never want to have a child who is in that situation.
I had friend’s parents who at 16-17ish would let us drink as much as we wanted supervised in their house. I think that always went very well, but those same friends then would drink a lot elsewhere and hide it from their parents.
Also, were I live now teens will illegally drink and smoke weed in the grocery store parking lots and be loud and obnoxious late at night. I’ve seen the police walk right past them, it drives me crazy.
Also, I live by the Canadian border when I go out on the weekends in Canada, I will see a lot of teenagers running around with vodka and their friends. I find this annoying because It will be 1am and suddenly I’m slamming on the breaks because some drunk kids jumped out in-front of my car. I don’t see that where I live in the US but idk if younger drinking age is the causation of this.
Anyway, this ended up being way more long winded than I intended, I want my future kids to have the independence to drink and have fun but I don’t want them getting seriously hurt or becoming dependent on alcohol.
Must be a very liberal part of Jutland you live in.
My sons don't get to play ball in the living room and I do not condole them opening a fridge at a friends home without them being invited to - but I do recognize the behaviour from a few of their friends.
And yes there are a lot of skov-børnehaver (forest school) in Copenhagen (they ride out in busses in the morning and back in the afternoon).
What I am not used to in the US is that I still see occassional physical disciplination of children (slapping) - that would never be tolerated in Denmark and 'teachers' are required to report it.
What does that have to do with living in Jutland? I from north Jutland and is raised to respect adults, elders, kids and their homes as well. Besides that forest/nature kindergartens and schools is not specific for Copenhagen at all, there are all around the country.
What do you think about the drinking age?
In Copenhagen you can do the second thing
The children in Copenhagen, go to Skovbørnehave, aswell
I’m talking from a danish student’s perspective in regards to the respecting of the elders. I’m now just started in 9th grade - which is the last grade of the danish “folkeskole”, where you learn all the basics you need to learn before you get further educated.
I do disagree a bit with your opinion/perspective. I have throughout my whole life had a lot of respect of the elders. I will admit that I have gotten just a little less respect of the as I have gotten older though, especially since I’ve entered my teenage years - but I think that it has been natural change , as I’ve also gone into my teenage years and have maybe gotten a bit more rebellious. But the tiny loss of respect of the elders hasn’t been in a super negative way, where I have been rude - it has more been in a way of learning how to have fun, and also sometimes make fun, of/with the elders, but it has always been in a jokingly way where both parties have been okay with it and also have had fun with it.
The school culture in Denmark and the US is VERY different - and it has only become more different over time.
I also want to say as I have two little brothers, who often has had friends over - I wouldn’t say that either mine or their friends has been rude or disrespectful in any way at all. I think that they actually are more polite and respectful to the adults/elders in the house. And I don’t think that the elders/adults has been afraid to say anything to the kids over and let them know that it still is the elders that should be respected and the elders that is in charge of what is allowed and what isn’t.
That being said I totally respect your opinion as well as your perspective, I am just telling about my experience and perspective from a student, who has a very jokingly relationship with most of my teachers.
Ida Askaa Every person is different. It is definitely not an “all or nothing” situation! I’m glad you guys are the good ones! Enjoy your school year! 😊
I kinda do agree with you on the Respecting subject. but then again in Denmark, you show respect if respect is giving. I have 4 kids age 1-8 Years old and if you show them the respect they will respect you just as much, they will be polite and respectful and go out of their way to help you and do good by you. but if you treat them with disrespect or no respect at all you will get the exact same treatment in return and I wouldn't ask any more of them. in Denmark, we have a saying that goes like this "Treat people with the same respect that you want people to treat you with"
I am a Danish citizen born in Kolding. I'm considering moving with my canadian husband and three young daughters back to Denmark. In general, do you think moving there is worth it? Just applying for the family reunification is expensive! Would you say go for it or it's not really that great? I would love to hear what you think!
Hi there，your videos are impressive. Would you recommend a public school or an international school for international kids? We're shifting to cph.
I'm a born northgerman girl very close to Denmark (mehr or weniger) , in the german northern state nidersachen small town calls Stade , just the Elbe river (wich is a german states border too) is between us, but no prob cos tere gives a cheap fairy over it☺🤘
+ in Flensburgh (in the past Denish,now german) gives a ceap day ticket in one bus , so you can very cheap arount the clock for 1 day drive from Flensburgh(germany) & the first Denish bigger village behind the border !
Thats very cool☺👍
Mad Titanja V. Ich war einmal in Stade. Schöne Stadt! 😉
I thought you had the bland selv slik (mix candy) in the US as well😅
Fredags slik is good fore you don't eat candy everyday, but on Friday we are "hygge" ( having a good time together)
Hugs from Denmark 🇩🇰 🌹 🌺
I visited relatives and I've seen the children pulling out toys and puzzles and after they play they don't want to pick up them up. This is a constant problem
Haha i see what you mean by children and adults being treated as equals can be a problem. I see this at my work everyday. When a child is disrespectful I can’t say anything, even though I really want to. I just have to put up with it. Love from Copenhagen
Respect always has to be earned. Respect is not a given thing just because you are a parent. We mostly bring up children teaching them that respect is normal if you get treated correctly.
Respect can be many things. You can be respectful without necessarily respect a person who is not worthy of your respect.
If a parent is treating his or her children, why should the children respect them?
At the end of the day, it is your way of treating others and your surroundings that earns you respect.
Most Danish children grow up being respectful if you treat them with respect. What is the point calling people Sir or Ma'am if it is just to be polite even if the person are arrogant etc.
We like to think ourselves as genuine. Befriend a Dane and you have a friend for life.
You know that you are raising a kid in Denmark, when you can let your child go to the playground alone from the ages of 3 ❤️
Hvilken by bor du i? Lige fundet din kanal😍
Lady - you make (rude language) fine videoes! They are top notch entertainment 👍 I think a main difference between 🇺🇸 and 🇩🇰 is the use of the f-word? 🤔
I'm English, married to a Filippina having raised three kids here. We never had Friday candy but "hygge" with chips, dips, biscuits, fruit etc. in the weekends and holidays. We don't like the way many Danes fill their kids with sweets, even our kids if we don't watch out! My eldest daughter adopted from China announced she was a Dane after a trip to China when she was 12, up until then she always said she was Chinese. So you can still become Danish without Friday candy, although so far she's the only Dane in the house - the other two are still Filippinos (also adopted).
We (more me!) actually gave our kids greater freedom than Danes do, and not without trouble from Danes! We even had a women stop my daughter (6 years old) from taking a bus home from her skating class by blocking her from getting on and snatching her mobile! She called the police and reported a lost child then handed her over to another person at the bus stop when her bus came saying the police were on their way. They drove her home and on the way got the story from her side so when they arrived she was just dropped off. After that I gave her a note she could produce to explain that she wasn't lost or abandoned but was allowed to take the bus alone and not to interfere, she never needed it though. It got worse with my son as he looked a couple of years younger than his age being a small Asian. We got reported to child services when he was five, after he went down to our corner shop to buy some milk, something he did regularly without a problem - he was well known in the shop and it's only 250 m away. The social worker didn't really have much to say after we explained everything was fine but it was a bit annoying that we had to both go there and explain. All my kids went on their own to and from school about a kilometer away from the first day - the very first day we went too as it's a big event but not together, arriving five minutes later. I started school when I was 4, with my older brother grudgingly taking me the first week - not picking me up afterwards, so I wasn't going to be picking mine up at 5 or 6! some of their classmates had their mothers accompanying them and carrying their bag, into the classroom years later! I think it's a disaster with parents driving their kids to school year after year. even in kindergarten I used to drive home and walk back to pick up my kids so they learnt to walk/cycle/rollerskate/scoot and navigate roads, traffic etc. Most of the time we didn't have a car, so no taxi service anyway!
Otherwise I appreciate a lot about the Danish system. I would probably have lost my kids and been thrown in jail in US! ;)
The Friday candy is the reason Danes are all so overweight, in contrast to America and Britain 😉
The freedom for kids are larger in the countryside, as the larger cities can be a bit rough on small children. Personally, in a city, I would have asked your child if he/she was with mummy and accepted the explanation that she was on her way home. Maybe escort her home to be certain. I have before.
@@PalleRasmussen Denmark actually scores pretty low on the overweight index with the UK and USA well ahead. However obesity is increasing just about everywhere. I don't think it's entirely down to eating, some people put on weight much easier than others, I have always been able to eat without it seeming to affect my weight. I even lost 12 kg once quite inexplicably after having a very stable weight since being a teenager. I didn't even realise it at the time and got quite a shock when I did. Over six months I gradually put it on again but it made me realise it could just as easily have been the reverse, that I'd put on weight. Two of my three children are the same. I think this is really the problem as it is difficult to resolve this innate inequality, we can't give some kids "Friday candy" whle denying others.
@@fritnat dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/irony
I agree with you regards sugar treats...Friday Candy is an appalling idea.
( What's next ? ...Cocaine Tuesday for stressed parents lol.)
We're living in Greenland, but we are returning to Denmark before long...our house will remain a CANDY-FREE ZONE
As I stated; that is why Danes are all so overweight...
can you recommend or rate the International & Bilingual schools?