Parenting in Denmark vs. America | Raising Kids Like a Dane (ft. Annie Samples - annieineventyrland)
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- Опубликовано: 9 июн 2024
- Parenting in Denmark vs America | Raising Your Kids Like a Dane (with Annie Samples aka annieineventyrland)
#denmark #danmark #america #american
In this video we are joined by Annie Samples, from @annieineventyrland for a look at what it's like to be a parent in Denmark. Annie was super insightful and honest with her experience and opinions on raising her children like a Dane.
We discuss all the things about Danish culture and living in Denmark that make it a great place for kids to grow up. Of course, there are many things that Annie had to adjust top while parenting in Denmark. There are many cultural differences in Denmark that Americans will notice almost immediately - and it's not without a few culture shocks.
We dive into those gritty details of school birthday parties, nap time, and how it's viewed when you give your kids medicine. Annie also tells us the way things are looked at from parents in America and how they'd be major culture clashes for Danes.
Overall, Annie shines a light on the wonderful things about being a parent in Denmark and the fun differences and changes she's made along the way. Her parenting journey began in United States, and she still draws on American culture as she navigates being a mom in Denmark.
We sat down with @annieineventyrland for a two-part episodes of our podcast, What Are You Doing in Denmark and we had a blast!
You can find that longer discussion with Annie on What Are You Doing in Denmark, streaming now on all podcast platforms.
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the medicin part is due to doctors way of thinking in Denmark that the body is capable of handling itself naturally, so we only use medicin to handle the body being unstable. So for sleeping medicin, well your body will fall asleep when it needs to, so the doctor would rather look at why you're not sleeping, it could be stress, caffein, depression etc. So basically focusing on the root of the cause rather than just taking the easy solution.
It's cost avoidance more than anything.
I disagree with the cost avoidance part. I am with the Danish doctors on that. Coming from India , even our doctors wouldn't just prescribe it. America is alllll.. about consumerism and nothing else . My brother in law left California for the same reasons. The medical system there is absolutely fucked up. I have tons of friends and relatives there , I have heard only horrible stories.
Ah okay, so "horrible stories" and your own narrative because people have more consumer choices, aren't manipulated by the government, and don't do things exactly like you do. Got it... 👌 @@amritaarya2453
@@RobeTrotting what costs are avoided by restrictions on over the counter medicine? Isn't that for the state the opposite, loss of revenue tax aka income?
@@RobeTrottingmaybe you guys should go back to the US where drugging kids is normal.
I grew up in the countryside. And a good day was when we came home and were dirty with a small plaster on the knee. So we had a fun day. And we had learned that it was not smart to climb that tree. We built caves carved out of wood. My own children. Was happy when they came home from Kindergarten and their flight suits had to be washed, to be ready for the next day. then they had had a fun and educational day. And it was quite natural that they themselves got up and took the bus to school. We grew up with Freedom under responsibility. If we did something bad, we had to take the trouble. In our family the mantra is right. You don't get responsible children if you don't give them responsibility. And this is also how I have raised my own children.
I am danish farther of two boys (10&12) and my rule around curse words was very simple.
Any words only used to hurt or be mean to others (like idiot, moron, stupid) were strictly prohibited.
“Curse” words like shit, fuck, ass etc. are fine and often funny.
Made it simple to understand and has worked great for us.
100% agree!!! I’ve always said that. Curse words are just colourful words in any language. The words we need to teach our children not to use are the hurtful ones. As well as to understand that non-hurtful words can still be used in hurtful and harmful ways. Even the word “love” can be used hurtfully.
3:45 Most parents here operate on what we call responsible trust ("tillid under ansvar") which means that the parents start from a place of trust, but then expects the child to be responsible with that trust. So they get a chance to show they deserve the trust and only if they break that trust will they loose privilege.
I can't be happier and satisfied being here in Denmark and raising my son , who was born here . He is 6 and a half and started school. I have been so in love with the whole process until now. It's just Woww..
Such a kids friendly country❤❤❤❤❤
"Don't handicap your children by making their lives too easy."
~Robert A. Heinlein.
Simple as that.
I worked for a short time in an afterschool care for the children in the lower classes from first to third or fourth grade. They used to be called freetime homes in earlier days when I was a kid, but was changed for the more correct term later on.
But at one time, I had to go directly from the afterschool to service in the Home Guard and so obtained permission to wear my uniform to work that day. It started an avalanche that nobody had thought of. The boys were of course extatic and wanted to know everything they could possibly get me to tell about being a soldier. But the next day, they still wanted to talk about it and even some of the girls started to show interest. That day ended up with us making rough childlike copies of military ID cards, but still showing some semblence to actual ID cards. And we would write their names and social numbers apart from the last four digits and a rank of their choice. And playing soldiers was suddenly popular.
Then one parent approached the afterschool and asked if I could be allowed to teach them something from the real military. And both boys and girls loved that idea. I couldn't very well teach them fighting skills, so it was agreed that I would teach marching evolutions to those interested. You know, Forward march. About face. Front and center. That sort of things. The primary reason also being that this would teach them to work together and to help each other along the way.
But much to our surprice, it didn't fade out as time went by. It escalated to the point where I had to teach them just about every evolution in the book because they became hooked on it. Even the girls. And we had to persuade the woodwork teacher to make rifle shaped sticks to use in the evolutions. Much like you see drill teams in tattoos around the world. They became so good at it that we started teaching them to be the one in charge and giving the orders to the ranks and learn something about being the leader.
All of this happened within a timespan of some 4 to 5 months. And then the actual armed forces stepped in accidentally to give them the final approval and pride in what they had achieved through hard work. It so happened that a batalion of infantry was on excersizes at around the end of my temporary job there and was bivuacking at the school for 2 days of rest and bringing things in functional order again before moving on. And of course all the children were super exited and wanted to show the army how good they were.
So I approached the bivuac and asked to see the commanding officer who happened to be a lieutenant colonel. And he actually agreed to evaluate "my platoon." And we agreed that he should arrive 2 hours later to see a drill. When he arrived we had already formed up in 3 lines, "rifles" at the foot and in at ease stance. I ordered them to attention and present arms and then sounded of to the officer and was given the order to proceed with the drill. And boy did they deliver. They were so good that when they put their feet to the ground, it was one sound and not a sack of potatoes falling. Their evolutions were timed perfectly and every grip was performed immaculately.
Halfway through the drill, the lieutenant colonel was wideeyed and half the batalion was watching and cheering them on and clapping. At the end of the drill, I lined them up again, turned to the LC and reported the drill at an end, and he asked to adress the "platoon." And the soldiers watching were cheering and shouting, not even pretending not to be impressed by the kid's performance. And the LC laid it on to them. He praised their drill performance to the point of saying that some of his own soldiers could learn from them (giving the soldiers a snide sidelook when he said that), and ended the speech by saying that he was litterally expecting the platoon to keep practising and that he would wait impatiently for them to reach the proper age and join his regiment.
I had a team of kids that you couldn't mowe down with a 50 caliber machine gun after that. And they were even more proud when the batalion left the school next day, swinging around the afterschool and saluting the platoon on their way out. Even years later when they had all grown up, they would still adress me as lieutenant Jens when we happened upon each other in the streets. And a handfull of them actually joined up when reaching adulthood and applied to serve under me in the Home Guard.
So, it would seem that i managed to give them something they could use in their lives later on despite the original idea only being to humor them in their temporary idea of wanting to play soldiers. But it also showed both me and the teachers that if you instill a desire to learn something in children, they are unstoppable and will work as hard and diciplined as any adult to reach that goal. And that is the most important lesson that I learned in that time. Kids are a miracle of potential. Always have been. Always will be.
I remember my English friends wigging out over our Skovbørnehave here. It is a genious philosophy and the kids are so much more wholesome than the ones with the padded playgrounds... You guys could do a bit on that if you are interested..
Being danish, I was very aware that my kids shouldn't grow up to be annoying . I wanted my kids to be a pleasure to be around. When i moved to US I was shocked as to how annoying the kids were. No parenting at all. It was a bunch of spoiled brats, that i didn't enjoy being around.
1:30 It's also believed that's actually healthy for kids to nap in the cold (bundled up like you say of course).
I loved Annie's voice So calming
Right! And she’s so witty and fun to boot 😊
I was thinking the exact same, so calming ❤
I was standing at a crossing in Berlin some years back, when out of my eye, a kid was running out into the street. Where a car was coming. I manage to grab hold of him - and the I go into a full Danish mode - where the verbal slap comes immediately. "If I ever see you doing this again, you will have to pick up your teeth from the sidewalk with broken fingers" - or some such. Point was: Giving the 5-6 year old a dressing down, he would never forget.
In the mean time the mum had come out of the shop, and I kind of whispered - "you dont have to say anything - it is taken care of". But SHE was angry with me for scolding her kid.
Good man 😂
According to my brother-in-law who teaches at a sprogskole and has a master's degree in Spanish - almost every nation curses in English because cursing in your native language is seen as being worse than if you do it in another language.
It makes sense feels alot less bad to swear in a foreign language.
Ha! Jeg lagde et billede op på Annies video om børn, der sover udenfor. Billedet var af min søns barnevogn, dækket af sne med en ledning til babyalarmen. Jeg blev både kaldt børnemishandler og dybt uansvarlig 😅 Sjov og spændende podcast!
6:25 To be fair the otc medicine market (well medicine in general really) is absolutely obscene and insane in the US. The amount of stuff you can by otc is crazy. And seems like they can claim any health benefit they want (here it has to be proven effects). In DK (and EU in general) the whole medicine field is just much more regulated (which ironically also makes it much cheaper)
Melatonin is a hormone (and effects/side-effects not totally charted) which is why it's considered an actual medicine here, not a "kosttilskud" (supplement), so that is why you cant get it otc.
I must admit, my heart skipped a beat with the idea of drugging your kids to sleep when you are overwhelmed :O
I have never heard about that. I'm from Denmark and got 2 boys. Maybe give it to teenagers. But not small kids
I get that, but sleep deprived kids are also not in good health, and supplements or sleep aids aren’t opioids or street drugs.
@@RobeTrotting..so?
@@RobeTrottingare you guys insane, I hope you never ever adopts cause those kids will be messed up
Melatonin is not a drug. It is a supplement hormone for people that do not naturally produce enough of it themselves. This is especially prevalent in neurodivergent kids and adults.
In Denmark it's like when I was a kid in the US in the 50s and 60s😊!
Pretty much 😊
Bitter Sweet 😢
That's crazy you give melatonin to kids, I mean I can only get a limited amount by seeing my doctor 😅
That’s crazier since it’s safe and a dietary supplement in plenty of counties
"People also ask∴
Is it harmful to take melatonin every night?
Melatonin is safe for short-term use and can be helpful for sleep issues. Long-term use of melatonin may lead to decreased effectiveness and impact your natural melatonin production. Watch for side effects of excessive melatonin use, including headaches, nausea, and fatigue.16 Oct 2023"
The F-bombs are because we learned English from Hollywood movies by people like Stallone, Murphy and Tarantino . So we kind of learned that those were normal filler words to form a proper sentence .
😂 I mean… surely there were other people not cursing that way in the movies and it was clear they were cursing
@@RobeTrotting have you SEEN a Tarentino movie? ;)
I spent a year in Texas as an exchange student. In PE there was one - ONE - girl, besides me, who took
a shower afterwards. The rest stood by the mirror, trying to fix their bangs befor the next class. I found that very disturbing. And I didn’t even have to bring a towel!!! Newly washed towels were ready for me when I had finished my shower. It was a very strange experience. (Coronado High, Lubbock, Tx, 86/87)
As an American living in Denmark, I totally relate to most of what was discussed. I find it funny that Americans are so upset by cursing, though I have explained to my son to never curse in front of his American grandparents if we visit!
I love parenting in Denmark. I don’t think I could have ever managed if I was raising my child there. The health care alone is worth everything and more!
Much better episode than the last. Kudos 👌
Wow I’m so early! Awesome video! ^^
I love seeing people who haven’t lived here all their lives’s perspectives, keep it up ☆
My daughter has just begun school. Where we live, I honestly don't know if it's done the same everywhere, btw I'm danish, she was a couple of months in pre school and now in 0. Klasse (grade?). In kindergarten (børnehaven) they also prepared the children for school so it's done in a very relaxed way which give the children a lot of time to adjust to the big change in their lives 😊
I'm Danish and I absolutely loved this, to us all these things are normal, so we don't have that thought-process around certain aspects. It was so interesting and nice to listen to how certain things look to people either adapting to this way of being a parent or to someone just watching from the outside thinkin those Danes are crazy.. I'm 29 and I still remember my ''Børnehave'' Mælkevejen (translates to The milky way/ the milk road(not kidding it means both xD)) in the heart of Frederiksberg, and we had the ''Skovbørnehave'' as well (translates to the ''Forestkindergarden'') some of my best child memories are from the fun we had there, imagine a 28+ children taken somewhere in the forest, and let loose, or sitting down in an old vikingbunker with a fire and get strawberry tea from one of the adults making sure we are safe while he is telling us old story's because that is what it is, to us that's normal to almost any other country that's insanity xD also in the forestkindergarden/ ''skovbørnehave'' there are some females, but it's primarily males also something the world would not believe if I had to guess, one of my favorites was a guy named Muhammed he was so kind and good to everyone
Great to hear you have an open mind about Denmark and our ways. One thing I noticed is you don't mention one of the things we as Danes always been known for and been struggling with is, we are difficult to approach. Personally I have always tried to learn from Americans is the openness and the appearance of joy to see you.
❤ loving this episode
So happy you enjoyed it 💜
Having had numerous Americans staying with us over the years it has become clear to us that Americans are having a much more relaxed relationship with taking various sorts of medicine and pills. Like, they have pills for everything, and often for things, that - considered by Danes - are just not necessary. Also Americans seems a lot less skeptical as to how it can affect your body or health in terms of side effects. Danish authorities also seems a lot more strict, which is just a very good thing! 😉
There’s obvious cost avoidance reasons for the government telling you not to take medicine that is safe, studied, and up to your discretion whether to use or not - there are side effects to paracetamol and major effects for letting your body go through untreated sickness. Maybe we just are trusted to make our own health decisions and not avoid healthcare 😉
Not to mention the irony of tolerating binge drinking and chain smoking at a societal level and clutching your pearls at melatonin supplements and cough suppressants 😂
@@RobeTrottingEasy access to over the counter medicine is one thing I do enjoy in the US but I strongly disagree with your last statement. Americans most definitely avoid healthcare for financial reasons. And thus the need for self medication because we Americans can’t afford either medical bills or taking time off work. 😢
@@RobeTrotting I don't understand the cost avoidance part. How is the danish government (or european governments in general) avoiding costs by restricting access to medication without a prescription. Since health care is publicy funded it is far more expensive for the state to demand that once has to see a doctor who has to prescribe medicine. And it's even more expensive to try to figure out the cause of the problem instead of simply prescribing pharmaceuticals.
I don't understand your last sentence either. You imply that by being able to buy the medical products you want without (or with fewer) restrictions, you are taught not to avoid health care. How is that the case if you buy medicine in a store instead of going to a medical professional? The exact opposite is true: you are taught that doctors are unnecessary and that - regardles of your education - you are supposed to know best. Heck, you even have TV-ads that tell you to tell your doctor which medicine you should want!
Have you considered that melatonin is actually not completely harmless and that there might be reason to restrict its use? And I am very passionate about supplements and people self advocating..
@@RobeTrotting
I can't decide if I like or dislike these podcast style videos. I think I prefer your other videos
We prefer not making our 90 m2 flat a filming studio 😂 so there’s pros and cons but it’s the same topics we’d discuss around our table.
@RobeTrotting completely understand!
🤣 physical edUcation, guys
This was a fun video...
As a mom of 4 and foster-mom to 5, all of these different things, just made me smile.
Woo-saa!
hello from Hundested 🌸
Still like the term Curling Parenting, it's so on point.
I'm not danish but spending a lot of time there and grew up close to the border:
about the cursing. IMO there is two elements to this. The one thing is the non native language thing. Even if you do speak english, it is very easy to just ignore the lyrics of a song. I do that a lot even though I'm fluent in english I can just sing along an english song without ever understanding what the song is about because my brain is not actually processing it. The singing works like in instrument in that case.
Also Danes tend to just be more relaxed about cursing.
A part of learning to socialise are that there is different roles in different places
She’s amazing
Absolutely! She’s so funny and open and authentic - really happy we were able to connect and for her to share her experiences 😊
Aww you are!!!
Interesting to hear the differences between DK and US.👍
I am curious *what* the elderly ladies told Annie..? I have never seen that behavior... But I agree that they're the backbone of society (any society, for that matter).💛
Me too. I have never experienced anything with the old women here in past 9 years .
I don't know what Annie experienced, but usually they have an opinion on how you should parent your kid if they see you doing they don't think is right. Honestly, I think its none of their business 😅 . I am Danish btw
@@EpicVideoTime4You Ohhh, _that's_ it. I don't have kids myself, so that is why I haven't experienced any of that. 😂 I think it is a golden rule to not interfere with other people's raising of their kids, none of their business as you say. And people don't know the background to why the parents are behaving a certain way...everyone can have an offday, and then you don't need advice from strangers.😉
In fact , I love the fact that Danes are super patient ( most of them), and they don't poke their noses in anyone's business. 🇩🇰
My son started at kindergarten at the age of 2 years and 8 months. His pedagog was a 63 years old lady. She was such a hit with my son. She took the best care of him. Helped him with everything from putting on clothes to having his food to learning Danish . She is my son's Danish Grandma , and she came to my son's school this year for the grandparents' day. 💗
12:30 we also have dagplejer which are at a private person’s home. At least in my case the dagpleje consisted of a dagplejemor and 4 kids around vuggestue age. I believe there was a helper as well. Every four weeks or so we met with other dagplejer and had a ‘playdate” or something. It was great, at least what I have heard from my parents and if they had had more kids they would have made the same choice rather than sending them to vuggestue.
When i had PE in elemetary school, the teacher even shower with us, imagine that across the pond
Teacher from the US here, that would NEVER happen here! 👎
I wish the whole world was more happy than I am. That would make everything brighter, and my life much easier!
The reason behind melatonin is probably because it's a hormone and getting additional hormones can mess up how your brain produces those hormones... Me myself I have autism and in my early teens I just could never sleep... I was put on daily melatonin when I was about 15 years old but I really wish my parents had listened to me saying that I read at night because I can't sleep and it wasn't because I was staying up to read... It's apparently common with people in the spectrum and my mom still can't understand why I'm allowed to take those pills everyday... But if a child really have the need then take them to the doctor and either you listen to them and get a solution, listen to them and give up or ask to get referred to another doctor... First and last option is preferred because you know yourself or your child better than the doctor and sometimes the doctor think they know more than you 🙄 but yeah the health of children is taken very seriously... Probably also why dentists are free for kids but not for adults...
I have the same problem with sleeping. I'm also on the spectrum. My entire life have been difficult and undiagnosed autism definitely didn't help. A couple of months ago I started on melatonin, it's not miracle cure but it helps me starting to feel tired.
Yeah don't medicin to get your kids to go to sleep. Create a good routine and read books! Get your shit together Americans!
I'm also on the spectrum and have migraines to boot. I was given melatonin to help me sleep as well, but it gave me this weird constant faint headache and made me feel foggy throughout the day. My cousin whose then 2 yo autistic son had also been started on it, had been cranky and seemingly uncomfortable since.
So while it may help some, it does have adverse affects for other people. Treating it as a harmless "sleep aid" might be a bit much, especially for young children, without the supervision of a doctor. Besides, honestly, common sense tells me that taking a hormone that does something to your brain over an extended period of time is not something to be done lightly- especially at a young age. That does not mean there aren't situations where it is needed- but not for ordinary children who just lack enough physical activity to be exhausted by bedtime to fall asleep.
It is also more healthy for the kids to sleep outside, because of the fresh air and natural light it gets even if it just outside in uor own yard.. if they are properly clothed they can sleeping outside down to -10 degree celsius with no danger the thir health.. most nanny monitors for the stroller have thermometer included so you can check it at all time..
But yes we are a more relaxed about parenting, a big part of learning to be social are to try it ourself. A very common frase i use quit often is people are not bad or stupid, what they did might be, but doin one stupid those does not make a person it.. they might have done it unintentionally, or have a bad moment.. we all do.. the most important is to know it happens and it is okay, as long as you admit it and apologises ehen you cool down
It’s Right we can do that ❤🇩🇰
1:52 Yeah in Denmark you gotta watch out for the Dræber Snegl direct translated to (Killer Slug) 🤣
Most of my school time I had PE class as my last class of the day so I would just keep my gym cloth on and take my bike home and shower when I got home.
Strangely, about cuss words ..
In English, I find myself saying "I/I'd love it" often to my English speaking friends ...
But I only say "Jeg elsker dig/det" to my wife and children ... not even to my siblings or parents ...
Using Curse word in a propper context, is also how we try to do it. They are going to use it, might as well try to influence how they use it
When you tell me about the American counter piece to how we Danes deal with this matter I'm FLABERGAST!!!
It’s hard to paint suck a large population the same, but yeah - some clear differences. Also true that a lot of Danish norms would flabbergast people in other countries and cultures, but they’re also just differences and not right or wrong 😊
@@RobeTrotting oh boy I could easily imagine. 😜
So sorry for the subtle offence if you can call it that? 🤔
I still havn't forgotten about the it made when Anette Sørensen in 1997 left her stroller with a napping baby outside a café in New York. Boy what a drama it made!!! 😱
But that said what you refer to as "helicopter parenting" is what we refer to as "curling parenting" and boy do they try in the kinder garden and especially in the primary to fight it her. So yes we have it here!
But now we're on the topic I think it would be awesome if you reached out to Asthon @typeasthon who is covering Germany with the same stuff as you're covering and compare between Denmark Germany and USA.
And if you really want to extend on the subject why not reach out to Sofie Münster or Lola Jensen.
Could be fun to have them on you show.
And btw thanks for a wonderful and cheerful show. I seriously enjoy it!
Cheers!
FYI: magnesium is mostly absorbed through the skin and you can get sleep lotions for your kids.
And I will add that there’s a smal but growing percentage of the population that “hjemmepasser” (home care) their children to kindergarten or school age. But we become part of a community to teach our kids all the same stuff they would in daycare. Many of them are educated pædagogs that think the system is failing the kids.
Vidunderlig og opløftende video ( I gør det godt alle tre 😊❤ ).
I don't have kids. But I strongly disagree. I don't think it is a good idea to get your kids to sleep by giving medicine. I mean I am a Dane so it probably makes sense, but I would rather find out what is disturbing my kid's sleep and then make a plan or find a way to change it. Obviously I can see how it can be frustrating if your kid is not listening when having to go to bed. I think a good idea for many kids is to make a ritual every night where you sit and drink a warm cup of milk with your kid and then tells them they have to get their teeth brushed after and go to bed. And then when in bed, tell them a story. Let me tell you, I was very much a kid that had a hard time falling asleep my mom came into the room so many times to tell me to close my eyes and it would help me fall asleep haha I found out listening to calming music would help me fall asleep.
Yeah I get that, but it’s nice to have that choice as a parent and make it yourself without the government making it for you when it comes to a natural supplement that’s tested, safe, and properly dosed. I find a lot of stigma and shaming around medicine in Denmark and I don’t think it’s a good thing.
Fun melatonin fact from Denmark: It's regulated in terms of sale and prescriptions, but it's not considered a drug, so you can buy it from a foreign pharmacy without breaking any laws. It's one of those things where the rules don't really make sense. I also think melatonin is pretty benign, although I agree with the overall perspective that kids probably shouldn't be medicated in any way for minor problems/inconveniences.
9:00 It seems so weird and gross to me that they dont shower after PE in the US. Especially if you have class after. It's properly some weird apprehension to nudity or something, because it seems like they do have showers for like the sports teams etc in school.
As a danish parent, sometimes I give my 9 month old "panodil". Just to get some sleep!
The melatonin thing is wild to me, especially after googling it a bit.. It's really not recommended for children
Even without that, the thought of drugging my kid for convenience seems insane
It’s safe for school aged kids and 75% of them don’t get enough sleep so it just depends who you want to judge I guess.
@@RobeTrotting It seems my comment was deleted, are you not allowed to throw links in a comment?
Anyways this is what I wrote, the quote is from childrenshospital website.
Let me start the message by saying I'm not an expert, I've googled for half an hour, now that's established:
"Their answer is: Melatonin may be beneficial for some children who have difficulty falling asleep, when the supplement is accompanied by a behavioral program to address the sleep problems. It is probably safe when used appropriately, at the correct dose for age, and in consultation with a health care provider."
This make sense to me, and also fit how we'd handle it in Denmark. It's the parent dosing, parents choosing when, and so on that makes it wild to me.. A lifestyle change or motivator seems like a way better choice, healthy activities, healthy enough food diet and structural bed time would probably fix 80% of the situations where parents otherwise give Melatonin.
At some point in my life I went to the doctor with back pains after having been a "man" for months taking the pain and mild painkillers, the doctor ended up telling me that I just needed more muscle in my core(lower back+stomach). The doctor also told me that most people that come with back pain is in this situation. I wrote this example, because I thought it fit perfectly, Melatonin sounds as a crouch to me, and while not directly harmful, it leads down a path that's less healthy than the alternative.
@@RobeTrottingWell, NOT in DK!
@@RobeTrotting It might be judging, or it might be helping - ear of the beholder eh...
All sleep is not the same just as an FYI, and natural sleep patterns is key to long lasting health. I would say giving hormones should be last option, and working with diet, schedules, stress, anxieties and habits should be first and foremost.
Maybe enforce screen off time 90-60 minutes before bedtime would be a far better solution, but also requires more effort than simply supplementing with artificial hormones through a simple pill. And here I am not talking about children with special needs - those are different cases.
But aint that the case about most things in life? The easy fix usually comes with not so awesome consequences, that will in time, require more effort to balance than the good fix of root causes would have taken?
How do you know my kids don’t have special needs 😊
After that discussion on melatonin, you guys should really watch the newest Johnny Harris video on supplements in the US. It may give you a new perspective on the Danish way of handling stuff like melatonin.
Meh, I like Johnny Harris but he starts with a narrative and works backwards with only supporting sources. If I have melatonin in my body now I don’t feel guilty taking a little more 😂 medicine and supplements shouldn’t be stigmatized.
@@RobeTrottingIt’s not about feeling guilty, but if you trust that whole industry I don’t know what to tell you. He is by far not the only one who has noticed this. Last Week tonight has tackled those issues too, and if you google it you’ll find many more on the scientific side. The point is that there are good reasons to not give them free reign, and they’ve made sure to embed themselves in American politics, to allow them to sell whatever they want however they want - no matter the damage. This is something we try to avoid in Denmark.
I recommend this video: _SBS Dateline - "Denmark's Forest Kindergartens"_
...and maybe for Robe Trotting to do a video on?
Let the children explore on their own. *Trust* in our kids. They will build valuable skills and independence. Watch them at first, at a distance, with trust, for your own sake (not for the kids's , they'll manage fine). Soon you'll feel safe leaving them on their own. Since I was little we climbed tall trees, all the way to the top. We carried knifes, learned to use - and think of - them only as a useful tool. After having been taught traffic rules (since I was four) we went on bicycles around town on our own. I think it's important to let children do things on their own. Talk, explain, then let them do, without you interfering. It builds *trust* and *independence.*
The cursing is just so diffrent. We had our cusin and uncle from USA come to Denmark and we were driving and my dad turns on the radio which plays Vampire by Olivia Rodrigo and its not censord. He was so suprised when the words got "bad" Its was so funny to see becuse i am so used to it and curse a lot 🙂
2:30 Helicopter parents definitely still exists here. It's just not AS common.
She got a point about the "F"-word havning English as 2nd language. Danes would rarely use the danish equilant - but using the foreign term is simply cool (and the language is a filter compared using the danish words).
my wife and I raise our kids to be independent and oh wow have I ever gotten dirty looks when my daughter walks up with one grocery item and puts it on the conveyor and pays for it (by tapping my card - she loves that part).
Soooooo how easy is it to migrate to Denmark?
I would love to talk to you guys about mental illness and how Denmark helps those like me, and maybe talk about what that situation looks like in the States. Could be about worklife and financial aids, i have Bipolar disorder II. Feel free to let me know if you guys are interrested in that sometime, i think it would be fun. :)
Good work, display the relevant information but move it around trendy effects before we get a chance to read it. Very well done !
I looked on your channel but didn’t see any Oscar winning viral videos so just did my own thing. Let me know where to send your cash refund.
would love to hear, if u 3 knows about Forrest Kindergardens...
We know of them 😊
@@RobeTrotting i love to hear what "outsiders" think of them... i have seen a few reactors, react to a popular vid about it, showing one in Denmark, and they are always blown away, with the freedom and trust there is, with climping to the top of a tree, or using a knife for what it was made for, in this case, woodling, or NOT going to a place, without an adult...
itll be quite a difference aswell when they reach early teens aswell. as a Dane i started drinking at parties around the age of 15 or so. i could imagine that is far from the norm in America?
Is that some kind of flex? 😂
Teens drink in the US too tbh, it’s just not legal, but also not really a great idea to make super easy.
@@RobeTrotting no but it was the norm. atleast my generation started around that age. i cant imagine its much different now.
considering teens can buy their own alchohol at 16 anyway here.
Dane: I was told as a kid I swear like a sailor. Born 82. It may be a dyslexia thing. I try hard to learn. I moved to nEgland and my dyslexic is the same in two languages. Anyway, I have a theory. Swearing is often the result of lack of go to words.
wow
Do one of you ever walk with a little white dog at Nørrebro? Because if not then I'm quite sure I've found the doppelganger of the guy closest to Annie 😬
No, we don’t have a dog - must just be another Mikey out there 😯
Im not saying that you should do this every time, but remember that coughsirup is over the counter medicine and contains alcohol, that makes your kid get a bit sleepy :P
Denmark has - and please don't take my words as gospel here - I think some of the highest medical standards and regulations in Europe. Same goes for stuff like food additives. We more often than not hold a higher standard than what the EU requires.
The specific reason melatonin is restricted to prescriptions is because the eggheads decided it's a sleeping aid, which we regulate strenuously.
About swearword, a worf is only considered a sweareorf because someone at some point started saying it was, because they though it sounded bad.. swearwords are a cultural thing and they are only wrong because we assign that meaning to them..
pretty normal for denmark😁😄
About leaving kids outside. I’ve heard it was relatively common in the US too until the Charles Lindbergh kidnapping in 1932 which got HUGE publicity and made all US parents panic about it.
Ah, that could be - and would make a lot of sense. American press tends to sensationalize things at a level that really move public opinion in a major way.
There was a kidnapping in Denmark too in the 60 or 70ties, a 3.5 Mo old kid got taken from a stroller or pram as i recall.
Now duckduckgo smarter, this was in Odense in February 1966, no wonder i dont recall CUZ i was born in August.
It was called Basse sagen
There have also been a few abductions here and there throughout the years , with one part of a divorced couple taking the kid, i think often a stunt pulled by newcomers to Denmark from exotic southern countries.
so yeah stuff happen, also horrible stuff, i still think it is a cultural difference between Denmark and the US, even if the US as a larger country of course will also have had more cases.
@@pliashmuldba What are you rambling about?
Abductions are a stunt by "newcomers to Denmark from exotic southern countries"?
What does that even mean and who are those "exotic" people?
@@PeaceOfMake Yes In these southern cultures it seem that some are more entitled to a child and i would assume not least if the child is a boy, just like same places women are of a lesser status, so fathers trying to abduct their children back to where ever have been seen here many times.
Actually it was not long ago 2 people from there stabbed another pregnant person from there 71 times and killed both mother and unborn child,,,,, you tell me what the reason for doing something like that could be.
And that is just one thing that make people from those places exotic compared to us Danes, a vast difference in culture.
I would even venture to say these people are a danger to culture here, at leat they will not be adding in a positive manner.
I once got a job i Dubai, a very cool job, but i had to quit in weeks CUZ the way other employed was treated was horrendous, and i do not work for people like that, so bye bye dream job sort of.
@@pliashmuldba I find it really difficult to understand your English.
Go to Germany. You can get melatonin in the vitamin section there ;)
And yes, I stock up on it. IMO it’s silly that it is prescription only here.
Definitely have to agree with you on that one 🙈 we usually do pick it up abroad when we remember
TBH, as a Dane, who has had his kids sleep outside as the default for all daytime naps, I don't think I'd have done it outside of the Nordics.
Makes sense. Plus the Australian stroller spider 🕷️ 😂
If you think we use curse words in english, pay attention to the curse words in danish.
Wait what? I have had sleep problems since I was a toddler and I’m in my twenties now. My doctor still refuses to give me sleep medicine and instead send me to the hospital to get checked, given me Melatonin and other organic sleep medicine. I never gotten a sleeping pill other than when I was hospitalized cause I hadn’t slept in 5 days at 16 😅
That’s crazy that they won’t give you a natural supplement to regulate your sleep even after hospitalization 😯
@@RobeTrotting not really, sleep medicine can become addictive ( my mom is to hers) and only works for a certain amount of time before you keep having to make the doses higher and higher. So I completely understand why I am not allowed sleep medicine until they figure out why I can’t sleep and I would also understand if the answer was still no after
Honestly.. This episode is blowing my socks off 🤯
You seriously, randomly - give even small children sleeping pills ?! 😲
I don't wanna sound like someone clutching pearls here but.. I am 38 and went to my doctor, bc I have troubles with sleep. Many nights i only get 2 or 3 hours of sleep - bc my body n head just can't "let go".. And my doctor acted like I was asking him for straight up heroin, when asking for pills that would help me sleep 😅😂
The differences between US n DK on this matter, is just mindbogling to me 😄
To think that you could just give your child a pill for them to sleep, so mommy can have some ME time, bc she is overwhelmed is.... W.O.W 😲🤯 BLOWING.MY.MIND!
Great episode ❤
Yeah, melatonin is natural so it’s weird to classify a supplement as controlled when it’s so safe and studied. It’s probably something in between what you described though - not just used for “me time” and certainly not heroin to be restricted for self-determined purposes. There’s clear warnings and it’s studied and doses for ages - nothing the government knows that isn’t in the data, let parents make their own choices. If someone is suffering from sleep deprivation at any age there are severe health risks from that as well.
@@RobeTrotting
How interesting is that 😃
To think, that there is actually help out there, for those who have kids who just really struggle with sleep.
Like I know woman who every night struggle for HOURS with tantrums resulting in hysteria and vomiting, because the child needs to go to sleep, but it can't or won't - and nothing the parents do, seems to help... Like, my friend was bouncing 3 hours straight on a yoga ball with her 5yr old, bc he just wouldn't sleep - n she fed him, sang, read story's, laid beside him, bending herself backwards AND lost her own sleep, her confidence as a mother and honestly, her mental health took a huge hit, bc is was a real struggle... To think, that she could have slipped him a pill n be done with it, those nights when it was really bad... Somehow, I think - maybe it should be somewhere in between. Like of course you shouldn't just hand it out like skittles, bc you as a parent have other things to do.. But in those cases where both child and parent are in a REAL struggle for periods of time, they have tried everything, nothing helps - and both child n parent are starting to take a down toll.. Maybe then, it should be okay to ... find release somewhere 🤷♀️ I don't think in cases like that, that it would necessarily be a bad thing...
Again, how interesting is that - honestly 🤯😃
You guys should totally go into a deep dive on this subject, maybe find a doctor or something who wanna talk about it or something, I don't know... But it's honestly really interesting to me, how much Danes and Denmark seem to forsake pills like that, where Americans have a much more... relaxed disposition towards it.
Keep it up guys - I love your channel ❤ Merry Christmas 🎄
Why do you wear headphones?
I ♥ love "Cultural Differences" videos! They are like going back to school. I figure it this way: I will never get to Denmark I don't reckon anyway, so ... anything anyone can tell me about anything and everything is elucidating, even if such (parenting / being parents) does not apply to someone (you two) personally.
Hello
Hi
I would NEVER leave my baby outside 😅im Danish, and i know a lot of people/parents dont do that at all.
True Danmark is a safe country in many ways, but i would not take that risk. There has been cases where other people takes others babys outside stores and leave with them.
Yeah, 4 cases in 5 decades..
You forgot the old joke about grandpa when you mentioned swearing in Denmark.... 😀
Ohhhh maybe I don’t know they one 🤔
Hvorfor sige fuck, når vi har masser af danske bandeord, som er betydeligt mere nuancerede. 😀
Helvede ja 😂
Ja, hva' fanden er der galt med de danske bandeord? De har fandme altid været gode nok for mig!!!!
Melatonin is a Hormone, why would you mess with your kids Hormones. Let them run tired
It's safe and effective and then your kid isn't sleep deprived and running tired.
@@RobeTrotting How do you know that it's safe? Do you have an advanced education in medicine, biology or something like that?
NO helicopter parenting here!?!? 😳
Ever heard of curling parents? Same shit just a different label
Secondly! Should you Annie ever come to Højby Fyn you should be able to see both species of squirrels we have here; The red one which has migrated from the south and the black one which is the original genuine Danish squirrel
Ohhh sounds adorable!!!
Vs, is it a game ?
versus
/ˈvəːsəs/
.preposition.
as opposed to; in contrast to.
"weighing up the pros and cons of organic versus inorganic produce"
By the way, the best schools in the world are in Finland. I wish everybody would copy and paste their much better ways. Like Norway's prisons and Portugals drug policies etc. Do what works best, and forget the "who" and the identity squabbles!
The school system in Finland cannot be directly compared... Dumb politicians in Denmark have thought so and are ruining our system instead of making it better as a consequence
Most choked about not showering after gymnastics.
Yeah, it’s so bad that we weren’t pushed to shower and be more comfortable with our bodies
@@RobeTrottingI remember it was a bit uncomfortable in like 8-9 th grade because I felt a bit shy. But it was more embarrassing not to shower because your classmates would be like “we don’t want to smell your sweat the rest of the day” 😂
Being a parent or a kid in the US sounds extremely stressful to be honest.
It always depends where of course - it’s harder to generalize a country as large and diverse as the US.
If you can't give them melatonin, can't you just give them a shot of whiskey? 😉 (psst: Melantonin is OTC in Germany)
Oh wow......curse word how baaaad, but you give your children sleeping medicine 🤯
Right, sleep deprived children seems better than natural supplements that are studied and proven safe 👌 maybe we should give them beer and cigarettes at 14?
😂😂😂 exactly
Lol English is a Western Germanic language just like Danish, Norwegian, Swedish etc. If not for the Danish and Norwegian vikings who settled in the British isles it wouldn't exist. Cursing is normal here, I'm a Norwegian living in Oslo, as we are a secular society and we're not particularly reglious. Only conservative religious bigoted trolls cares about ''fuck'', even though we basically invented it. The vikings did, and Norwegian settlers/immigrants brought it over to America.... cursing isn't seen as bad as long as you don't overuse it in every sentence. People who curse are more honest and authentic and we also use it to stress the emotion or importance of what we're saying in that moment in time. We even curse on national TV. No big deal. But if looking strictly at manners, sure cursing isn't seen as proper, at least not in all settings, and maybe not as a child. I grew up in a conservative Christian family so I would know. I don't curse when at my parents...
Magnesium and melatonin are not equal!!
One is a mineral that you need to get through your diet, another is a hormone your body produces on its own... and in a child its produced in line with a developing circadian rhythm... How are you this casual about it?? Do you also keep adrenaline or testosterone ready for a slow day at the gym, or serotonin for when your child is sad?
It's studied, tested, and dosed for children. Proven safe. After that it's a parent's choice.
Cant understand how cursing is so a Big of a no go for you. Some curse words is just empasize (staves??) that something is awesome, hurt alot and stuff.
Melatonine is a natural hormone, but the Danish authorities are reluctant to approve it as "over-the-counter" drug due to lack of long-time-use studies. Unfortunately, it's labelled a sleeping drug in Denmark, which it really isn't. Germany consider Melatonine as herbal medicine and you can buy it there at much lower price.
I taught my danish grandkids so they don't use English curse words around me nor American friends and family!
Derek had a Danish exchange student at his high school (still friends today) and he was a great student and well-behaved but found out the hard way about the different takes on cursing in school 😂
I'm not sure why people are so angry about melatonin. Obviously, it's not a permanent fix but a temporary one until you've fixed the root problem.
Get it through a (free) doctor, then its fine.
Drugging kids for them to sleep might be normal in the US, but you should be in jail for drugging kids
Brainwashed thinking to say people should be jailed for a tested, safe, and properly-dosed, naturally occurring supplement being used. Judge strangers online like a troll while giving your kids beer as you chain smoke I guess 🤷🏻♂️
@@RobeTrotting it's their choice to drink or smoke, ots not their choice to get drugged by you
I considered myself a potential helicopter parent... but my ex is much better at that... I'm giving our 9 year old freedoms I had at age 5, still I'm somewhat in danger for doing that...
Of course... her being Chinese, I understand the fear of kidnapping.
But kids, at that age, today have phones... so as long as they stick together... the risk is minimal. Even if it was more common today...
Of course I'd be concerned if she was alone. So my usual drill is to ask who she's with, and ask them to stick together and help eachother.
But of course... now that it's getting dark early, I do worry a bit more.
Oh, that’s true - I never considered the difference with the earlier darkness and kids being out and about 🤔
It’s always a lot to worry about as a parent so I give you a lot of credit
Please forgive our kids. They don't really know what they are saying. And if they do, where can we sell them?
Asks 'ing __ __ ___ ___ dad.
😂🤣😂🤣😂
👏😂💪