Exactly. Give kids the freedom and natural consequences will guide their decisions. It will be an internal drive and won't feel like they're being controlled.
@@JohnFromTheInternet. Harder? Maybe? I graduated from a #1 university, Highest median starting salary from a public institution in the USA. First job in 1980, $100K/yr, $250K by the late 90's.
I have 2 family members that spoiled their kids, toy rooms not toy boxes. Going to school to argue over a grade, even though Mommy did thier homework. Now we see the results, still at home, no job, no relationships.
Great video! I think of this akin to being vaccinated against serious illness. You endure the mild discomfort of the needle poke and perhaps a mild fever, maybe a runny nose and mild achiness for a day or so, but your body is then trained to deal effectively with a virus and you're immune to serious illness.
I agree about how helicopter parenting has gone out of control. I also believe...yes let children deal with failure, things that hurt BUT don't leave them there! Encourage them and let them know they can do better on the next exam (help them develop better study habits, ect.). An example of what my dad did when I was a kid would look like abuse today....but I learned to keep a cool head in a crisis. Whenever I fell off my bike or hurt myself playing, dad didn't run over in a frenzy panic "Oh my God, are you ok?", he would ask if I was OK, then we go into care of the injury mode...need a band aid can you walk on it, ect. This DID pay off in the future....the first time it payed off is when i was 13. I had a friend stay over that has Gran Mal Seizures, we were having fun and the excitement wound her up she warned me "I'm about to have a Sei..." and she fell on the ground shaking, she coached me many times what to do, and instead of panicking I took action and she was fine. There have been NUMEROUS times through my teens, and in my college years where me and my friends would find a potential dangerous situation or if someone has an illness and got sick I was able to keep a cool head and helped them and us stay safe.
It definitely pays off. I haven't got kids, but I'm a teacher. I cannot count the amount of moms (specifically)who seem to think that they've got it under control. On the other hand, parents who are demanding, mature and practical have kids with boundaries and they're way healthier in general.
Great to see Dave advocate against using phrases like "you should". We must seek to understand the drive behind behaviours and not to change the behaviours from the level of our perspective. "Help is the sunny side of control" is a quote from Brené Brown that I LOVE.
I always talk to my kids and find they remember an amazing amount of what I teach them. As a parent, my job is to make sure they are prepared for the real world. The schools do a decent job, but there are many things they skip, such as investing, how to pay taxes, how to get a decent job etc. The real world things. By age 18 or 20, we can only hope they put all this knowledge to good use. Most will.
Congrats! It doesn't get easier, but as they enter adulthood, it does better. Less drama, and they begin to realize you're somehow smarter than when they were teenagers!
I am going through this with a relative that refuses to work full time but is asking for money for help with paying bills. I will have to learn to live with the pain, because persuasion is not working.
Don't give them money! I have relatives that are the same way, if you bail them out they don't need to do it themselves. When their major contributor passed away they had to get jobs and get a place to live. And guess what- they did!
@@missj5564 You haveave a reason ready. "I'm sorry but I don't have extra money right now" or "I'm sorry but that is not in my budget." And "would you like me to set up a budget for you?"
@@RozeeBeez I will be saying it is not in my budget from now on. I have told this able bodied, male relative that he needs to get a a part time job to be able to pay his bills, because I am tired of helping him and that he needs to help himself.
I had a stepson say to me: I would rather make the greatest mistake in my life and have it be my mistake, Then do what you want and have it be the best thing in my life.
Owning pets before having children can teach you a little bit of this lesson on the negative effects of being a helicopter parent/owner. I was over protective of my first dog to the point of not wanting to go to dog parks at all. I was so paranoid about my dog being attacked. This of course led to my dog not being properly socialized and I had to spend of lot of time fixing that later.
Knowing when to let the fail (and letting them) and when not to is the most difficult part. Hard to know. Depends so heavily on the situation/circumstances.
Oh gosh the way you just started this episode I have a 17-year-old daughter who is chomping at the bit to be considered a adult to be an adult to do what she wants and every time we talk to her about what she's doing all she does is come back with well I'll be 18 soon enough and then I can make all my decisions is so frustrating it's so hard I ain't going to lie it drives me nuts and I I'm lost
In my day it was mecurochrome. Before that, there was a deep violet medicine we used. We called it the purple medicine...I have no idea what the real name is. Bactine didn't come for years and years after that. So, back in my day, youngster....
I disagree, I think when your children are grown is the easiest parent time. There now move out and you get to see them living as an adult on there own. They do have questions still but you get to see them as adults.
consequences are compulsion should parents let their kids experience pain? concussions? fractured elbows? I had it when they conflate safety with helicopter parenting. You will wear a seatbelt!!
@@bakid470 so you are fox viewer obviously. You like entertainment I prefer listening to O good journalism. You don't get that on faux and only rarely you get it on CNN
@@alinatamashevich3354 so you are mad at him for making a good choice in a spouse? You don't have to fail in every situation to be able to help those who have.
The wife is a tight wat. So they did the written budget rice and beans, not going inside of restaurants, sold everything the kids thought they were next and they lived happily ever after.
One of our sons didn't listen and jumped over the couch . . . and broke his arm. He doesn't jump over the couch anymore.
Exactly. Give kids the freedom and natural consequences will guide their decisions. It will be an internal drive and won't feel like they're being controlled.
Sell the couch.
@@eleanor4759 My 16-year-old quit HS for a $40K/yr job,
The consequence is that the $300K/yr job won't be there in 10 years.
@@aolvaar8792 Just remember, HS is not a requirement for getting 300k/yr :)
Harder? maybe, but not impossible.
@@JohnFromTheInternet. Harder? Maybe?
I graduated from a #1 university,
Highest median starting salary from a public institution in the USA.
First job in 1980, $100K/yr,
$250K by the late 90's.
I have 2 family members that spoiled their kids, toy rooms not toy boxes. Going to school to argue over a grade, even though Mommy did thier homework. Now we see the results, still at home, no job, no relationships.
Great video! I think of this akin to being vaccinated against serious illness.
You endure the mild discomfort of the needle poke and perhaps a mild fever, maybe a runny nose and mild achiness for a day or so, but your body is then trained to deal effectively with a virus and you're immune to serious illness.
I agree about how helicopter parenting has gone out of control. I also believe...yes let children deal with failure, things that hurt BUT don't leave them there! Encourage them and let them know they can do better on the next exam (help them develop better study habits, ect.). An example of what my dad did when I was a kid would look like abuse today....but I learned to keep a cool head in a crisis. Whenever I fell off my bike or hurt myself playing, dad didn't run over in a frenzy panic "Oh my God, are you ok?", he would ask if I was OK, then we go into care of the injury mode...need a band aid can you walk on it, ect. This DID pay off in the future....the first time it payed off is when i was 13. I had a friend stay over that has Gran Mal Seizures, we were having fun and the excitement wound her up she warned me "I'm about to have a Sei..." and she fell on the ground shaking, she coached me many times what to do, and instead of panicking I took action and she was fine. There have been NUMEROUS times through my teens, and in my college years where me and my friends would find a potential dangerous situation or if someone has an illness and got sick I was able to keep a cool head and helped them and us stay safe.
It definitely pays off. I haven't got kids, but I'm a teacher. I cannot count the amount of moms (specifically)who seem to think that they've got it under control.
On the other hand, parents who are demanding, mature and practical have kids with boundaries and they're way healthier in general.
So brilliant. He taught you to respond rather than react. Our world needs that so badly.
Great to see Dave advocate against using phrases like "you should". We must seek to understand the drive behind behaviours and not to change the behaviours from the level of our perspective. "Help is the sunny side of control" is a quote from Brené Brown that I LOVE.
10 yrs old I rode home from a friends house with a shotgun across my handlebars…no helicopter parenting in the late 80’s
Where did you grow up? I'm against gun control, but I'd be really worried if my kid had to protect themselves at that level.
I always talk to my kids and find they remember an amazing amount of what I teach them. As a parent, my job is to make sure they are prepared for the real world. The schools do a decent job, but there are many things they skip, such as investing, how to pay taxes, how to get a decent job etc. The real world things. By age 18 or 20, we can only hope they put all this knowledge to good use. Most will.
This segment was amazing. I was articulating my struggle with this all week. It's true, my oldest just turned 18 and it's HARD!
Congrats! It doesn't get easier, but as they enter adulthood, it does better. Less drama, and they begin to realize you're somehow smarter than when they were teenagers!
When I was a kid we used to build ramps and jump like Evil Knievel on our bicycles. I don't remember anyone getting hurt.
I do. A lot of us got hurt and didn't say a word to our parents who probably would have just said, "I told you so."
I have 5 boys and they take Daddy's car ramps and jump on their with their bikes. They climb trees.
“I need to baby step my way onto that plane”. Love it! I feel the same way!!!!
My hardest part is the 1-2 years they are still living at home, trying to figure it what they want to do, after graduating HS.
I am going through this with a relative that refuses to work full time but is asking for money for help with paying bills. I will have to learn to live with the pain, because persuasion is not working.
Don't give them money! I have relatives that are the same way, if you bail them out they don't need to do it themselves. When their major contributor passed away they had to get jobs and get a place to live. And guess what- they did!
@@RozeeBeez When I say no, they try to use guilt and manipulation to get it.
@@missj5564 You haveave a reason ready. "I'm sorry but I don't have extra money right now" or "I'm sorry but that is not in my budget." And "would you like me to set up a budget for you?"
@@RozeeBeez I will be saying it is not in my budget from now on. I have told this able bodied, male relative that he needs to get a a part time job to be able to pay his bills, because I am tired of helping him and that he needs to help himself.
The freedom to make my own mistakes is all that I ever wanted.
I had a stepson say to me: I would rather make the greatest mistake in my life and have it be my mistake,
Then do what you want and have it be the best thing in my life.
Spot on. Control over your own life is possibly the number one desire of all humans.
Take a drink every time Dave interupts
I'd be drowned already.
Owning pets before having children can teach you a little bit of this lesson on the negative effects of being a helicopter parent/owner. I was over protective of my first dog to the point of not wanting to go to dog parks at all. I was so paranoid about my dog being attacked. This of course led to my dog not being properly socialized and I had to spend of lot of time fixing that later.
What???
Lol. Please don’t compare kids with pets. Can’t leave little kids at home themselves.
@@VGFightSchool after a certain age, yes you can
I worry a million times more about my adult children! And they are pretty well adjusted people!
Knowing when to let the fail (and letting them) and when not to is the most difficult part. Hard to know. Depends so heavily on the situation/circumstances.
Kids aren't being taught that there are consequences for everything they do, whether good or bad.
True Statement!!!!
You can’t take away risk without taking away quality of life.
Back in day rub some dirt on it walk it off you'll be okay 😂 no pain no gain😂
I was traumatized by tenured professors. It's a reality.
The hardest thing about being a parent is actually being a PARENT instead of your child’s friend
You can be a friend too if you do it in the right way. Like Jesus is a friend to us,yet disciplines us and holds us accountable as our Father.
Right! You can’t be their friend while raising them. If they listen and do what they are supposed to we’ll be friends later and we are.
Jordan Peterson has a great chapter in his book 12 Rules for Life addressing this exact subject.
Thank you for covering this. It's really difficult to go through, particularly when it goes on and on. Sticking to the sheets? What year was that? lol
When I was a kid, I stuck to the sheets, but that was because of a whole different reason...
"The kid who swallows the most marbles doesn't grow up to have kids of his own."
-George Carlin
Oh gosh the way you just started this episode I have a 17-year-old daughter who is chomping at the bit to be considered a adult to be an adult to do what she wants and every time we talk to her about what she's doing all she does is come back with well I'll be 18 soon enough and then I can make all my decisions is so frustrating it's so hard I ain't going to lie it drives me nuts and I I'm lost
She'll find out quickly once she pays her rent she won't be doing much!😂😅
Touché!!!! Thank you!!
In my day it was mecurochrome. Before that, there was a deep violet medicine we used. We called it the purple medicine...I have no idea what the real name is. Bactine didn't come for years and years after that. So, back in my day, youngster....
Iodine. Still the best!
Fear mongering will work. Just found it easier not to share anything morally personal with my family
Seems being a parent never stops, even when they’re adults.
Exactly
So true!
Actually, the hardest part is when you have to bury one of your kids
Did they replace Ken with a look alike Ken bobble head?😂
Everyone except rachel is a bobble head.. the best is George.. lol
@@NaNa-lt1po If by best, you mean the most extreme, I agree.
Rachel and John are the only decent Co-hosts
I disagree, I think when your children are grown is the easiest parent time. There now move out and you get to see them living as an adult on there own. They do have questions still but you get to see them as adults.
You’ve been blessed
Good job! You’re an inspiration. Thank you.
Exactly! I told my sons they are cuter now than they have ever been.😊
balance bikes are awesome , kids ride bikes faster nowadays
Boomer talk, yeah cry about the people you say are crying about you. That ought to show them how unaffected you are by it.
You might learn something if you listen
Wanna know the best thing you can do to protect your kids from harm & suffering? Don’t have them!
Why are you here then? If you don’t have them, don’t bother watching these topics.
Amazing insight.
consequences are compulsion
should parents let their kids experience pain? concussions? fractured elbows?
I had it when they conflate safety with helicopter parenting.
You will wear a seatbelt!!
It's good when this guy doesn't talk about his fox news political ideologies
None of his teachings fall in line with all the B.S on CNN and the like 🐑
@@bakid470 so you are fox viewer obviously. You like entertainment I prefer listening to O good journalism. You don't get that on faux and only rarely you get it on CNN
First up
David the simp Ramsey
Why?
@@kbanghart He has never been stung by a divorce judge telling him to cut a check for half his net worth, that IS why
@@alinatamashevich3354 you were? That hurts
@@alinatamashevich3354 so you are mad at him for making a good choice in a spouse? You don't have to fail in every situation to be able to help those who have.
The wife is a tight wat. So they did the written budget rice and beans, not going inside of restaurants, sold everything the kids thought they were next and they lived happily ever after.