EPicvictoryAhead have a preference all you want, but saying “nice hair” is anti black and distasteful, period point blank. its not a preference, its ignorance
I cant wait for your review of The Handmaids Tale season 3 'cause......... What A MESS !!! I promise I'll patron when I have a job. I LOVE listening to you talking about anything. Greetings from Granada :)
Kim is like an “in the know” friend/ sister. When she speaks it’s like she reminds me that she’s smart and I’m smart and we’re having a smart conversation together ridiculing the world. Girl keep it up!
"Having a smart conversation, ridiculing the world" 😂😂😂 yes, yes, yes! Crazy how RUclips has been my and many other people's main source of intellectual conversations and debates. Mainstream media really f**king sucks.
Thank you for speaking about this Kim. As a black man, i feel that our community makes so many excuses for black men (dating interracialy is acceptable, we can be promiscuous, we are expected to cheat, have numerous children by different partners, we can be out of shape or older and still can pull younger or more successful women, and we can put pressure on black women to live up to standards that most of us dont meet) and yet for black women (they have to stay in shape yet be "curvy", keep up a high standard of beauty, marry black, take care of the family, not have multiple kids or multiple sexual partners, serve her husband..etc). Black women are expected to support and fight for black men, yet no one wants to admit that black men only take the love and support given to them from black women in our community only to abandon black women as soon as we get an opportunity.
I lament this every damn day. I don't like shit about them, but there is an innate desire in me, as a human, causing me distress because of the contradiction.
Chris Brown sang « And I am light skin Black » in the song with lil dicky like it was something to be praised. As if being « light skin » was the better part of being black. This guys BEEN A colorist and always will be.
lil dicky wrote that whole verse, including the lightskin part.... chris sang it but had no input on the lyrics (i'm guessing). lil dicky wrote the whole thing then approached chris brown with it, don't put blame on him for something he didn't write (what he does write is a different matter, of course).
As a dark-skinned female, I’ve noticed from an early age that black men were not as attracted to me as my lighter skinned friends. Therefore, I started dating Europeans, and Ive never looked back! Good luck black women!
Black men noticed how black women started dating Europeans because of supposed colorism so they in turn started dating Europeans. Good luck to black women and black men regardless of who they date. No hate only elevation.
I'm a black man in my latter 60s. That means I was a young man in the late 60s when being black became beautiful--when "Am I black enough for you?" was a thing we said. An entire culture decided--decided, as individuals and as a group--that dark skin and natural hair is beautiful. This is what I've learned over the years: Human beings like what we want to like. We are not controlled by inborn "preferences," we learn those preferences. I'm not going to argue about gender, but for sure in terms of "beauty," it's all a matter of what we've been taught and what we have decided to like. And what we like can be changed--the continuing success of the entire advertising industry proves it can be changed. No excuses.
I always think of Kevin Hart. When his star began to shine brighter and brighter, somehow his dark skinned black wife who helped get him there just could no longer cut it. How convenient. It's almost like he couldn't achieve full status until his wife looked like most other successful black men's wives.
It's not fair that black women have to live with this kind of stress. We have to deal with racism, sexism and colourism on a daily basis. There are days when I feel like it's too much 😔
I know how you feel. It almost feels like no one finds you desirable but my mom always told me, “if there’s 1 man that thinks you’re ugly for something, there’s at least 3 that think you’re gorgeous.” Beauty is also defined by what you see in the mirror. It doesn’t matter what the colorists or racists say. If you think you’re beautiful and unique, that’s all that matters. ❤️
Don't give up!!!! Keep pushing and pressing, treat each day like its brand new and you're expecting something good to happen. Just don't give up you have the blood of a survivor in you! Somewhere in your bloodline there's a slave who endured injustices, unimaginable suffering so that you could come through. That's not mine that's Iyanla's, but it is so true..
It was mainly white men calling her a man. ESPN fired the white announcer for calling her a man. Just recently a white male tennis tournament was fired for calling her and the sister Venus the Williams Brother. Let’s not forget that white magazine that Serena sued for depicting her as a monster.
Kelly hurt me to my core because she is literally unable to gain the Beyoncé status of pop success because she is dark. Because a black man lowered her bellow his light skin daughter.🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️ like really Kelly really? You should have kept quiet mxm
most black men I think prefer light skin women thats alright with me am not interested in black men their too arrogant for me but have you checked out the men from polynesia....Girl they are gorgeous!
We light-skinned Sistahs have an obligation to shut colorism down, at every turn. I had a darker make coworker give me a compliment about my skin and "good hair", to which I laid his ass out. He has a very young, dark skinned daughter. Praising me, over something I can't help, is a insult to her. She's one of my favorite humans, and she needs to know she beautiful BECAUSE of her chocolate skin, not in spite of it. Fam, if we don't call each other out, and teach truths, our people are doomed to fail.
When I was a teen, I had a friend who was hyper aware about her fair skin because she grew up in a family where she was the only one. She taught me that being objectified for being light was wrong, an insult and should be corrected. We are more than just our hue.
@@CARATMom true. I was also compared to a friend of mine who had dark complexion. Eventually he cried and it broke my heart 😭😭. Matter of fact that this happened 4 yrs ago when we were in 5th grade shows that children are also in racist environment to talk this type of sh*t.
whenever my first boyfriend, who was latino, would compliment my appearance, it would always be about how curvy i was but how fair my skin was. he was surrounded by other latina women who had the same body type as me, but they were much darker than me - so instead of curvy or sexy, to him they were just 'fat'. i remember him constantly calling his female cousin fat and ugly to her face, and this was just a regular joke that was totally normal in his community - the dark-skinned guys would degrade and humiliate their dark-skinned sisters, cousins, and friends. it always made me really uncomfortable and eventually i realised i'd been fetishised for my white skin - that in order for me to be beautiful in his eyes, the women who looked more like him had to be ugly.
Shasha Vengesayi Right! Before I found her channel I considered myself to be progressive & well-versed when it comes to Black issues, but every time she posts a video I learn something that I’d never considered. I really means a lot to me as a young Black girl to see someone as like her speak on these issues.
I asked my male friend was the girl he talking to pretty, and he replied “shes lightskin” as if her being lightskin automatically means she’s beautiful. I was shook I had to go in on his ass, he apologized and said he didn’t realize.
Words matter and I can understand why you'd be upset with your friend but also intent matters and from your description of the conversation it seems as if your friend was oblivious and didn't mean any harm. So I don't necessarily see him saying she's "light skin" as being a colorist I see that as a preference. I just don't see why we should shame black men for having a preference for light skinned women. Most black women have a preference for darker skinned guys but they aren't getting shamed for that like black men are but it's a preference. Or women don't get shamed for having a preference for tall men but black men are getting shamed for their preferences while everyone else is applauded for there's. I'm at a loss because I really want to make sense of the rationale that it's ok for black women to have preferences but not black men.
Craig R his statement was him saying that all lightskin women are attractive being there skin is lighter....there’s a fine line between preference and colorism. He was being colorist.
@@jashashi8464 ok and agree with you if that's how he put it. For my part I just don't think we should stigmatize black men if they have a preference for light skinned women n the same sense that black women don't get stigmatized for having a preference for darker skinned men. Now if someone talking bout dark skinned women not beautiful he/she deserve all that smoke. My point is alot of darker skinned women get up in arms about black men personal preferences when they themselves have their own. Fairness and equality between the sexes of black folk is what I try to express in replies on hot button topics like these.
That70s Hoe Good for you Sis! A skin tone does not automatically make someone attractive. I have said to many who deny colorism exists that when a black man is dating a light skinned woman, that’s the first thing he tells his boys. “ Man, she’s light skinned...” Black men never come out and say “Man I met this beautiful woman.. She’s dark skinned...”
@@craigr9831 it doesn't matter how he put it. colorism doesn't always go with intent, as for racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. bc when ppl are conditioned by society to be such, they themselves don't even see the problem in their preference for light/white skin, it just seems natural
I dated black men and also had a 9 year relationship with the boyfriend before my husband. My husband is Indian. In my mind dating was always a stepping stone to marriage but unfortunately the boyfriend before the husband told me that he was not ready for marriage. He also seemed shocked when I moved on. To my surprise, when I became involved with my husband black men were angry. I had seen so many black men with women of other races and even had them say what skin tone they preferred to my face so I was flabbergasted. What is good for the goose is obviously not good for the gander. Yes I was attracted to my husband's looks but also to the fact that he wanted to marry me.
@Anne Day u think I don't know that ,these men use black women as social currency in the world their men who have much more power than us they never give back ,they need validation and support from black women but don't need us when they get to the point of success
this! I had an ex, chew me out and call me a bed wench, when I dated someone of another culture after we were done. He said this to me while he was dating a white women. He was a dark skin black man.
Self hate.... Ppl still don't know. It's quite obvious Goddess... Black women need to tech there son.... They the ones disrespecting y'all... Why don't they teach they son? Problem solved.... O yeah that's cause they don't overstand there divinity or origin... "black"race still under a deep spell
Self hate? I don’t even life in USA I don’t speak English very well , I know Chris Brown from the TV since a I was more little and I like Chris brown ‘cause I love his songs and I’m in love with the dance, he’s a good dance r and I wannabe like him in the area of dance and make music, only for this.... his personal life in not my f*cking problem, and I don’t know why u just say his fans have self-hate ....... I don’t even defend Chris Brown is his bad actions I know he did bad things, but me.... I am not nothing for judge him.... I’m only a fan of his WORK,,,,, people WORK like singer and dancer.
I always wonder why these people who have a so called “preferences” have to put down the women they are not attracted to? Is it really hard not to bring up those you don’t desire?
@@robertyeah7280 But don't we shit on the man publicly about our preferences. Nope. I dated a man on and off from 17-22 who wasn't my type. He was 5'8" like me, light skin, and skinny. He's not my type on the outside but we fit 65% of the bill on the inside. I could've been like you Black men and said disrespect him but nope I gave him a chance.
I think ppl need to stop hiding behind the word preference. I, as a black man, am naturally attracted to women of all shades. I don’t blatantly seek black women that look a certain way, it just comes. CB’s denial of his colorism is sad, and I’m happy Tokyo exposed him
Agreed. And preference is a stupid excuse anyway; for example a man may prefer blondes. That's fine. But it doesn't mean he *only* dates blondes *exclusively.* It doesn't mean that he consistently demeans and mocks all non-blondes. If a man acted like that, it would raise questions. That's why 'preference' also doesn't apply. It isn't a simple preference if you're going so far out of your way to be blatantly prejudiced.
Shasha Vengesayi thank you and black men are the only one that feel the need to tell the world about their “preference “ when in actuality their prejudices. Point black.
That's exactly how I viewed black men when I was dating. I didn't care what shade he was I just have a preference for black men. At the end of the day I married a black man.
Part of that For Harriet is talking about is the status thing. Who are the black men dating/marrying who can have anyone. As just an average guy, I can tell you I think Jessica Williams looks absolutely gorgeous with that fro ... but that doesn't erase the wider reality of colorism and general fair skin privilege in the black community and beyond
@@lettylunasical4766 I think with preference, it's okay to be exclusive, but there's a difference between exclusively dating blondes but respecting non-blondes and openly and consistently bashing non-blondes. Exclusive preferences can still be respectful.
When you said “pointing out the exceptions means the rule holds true” I literally was hit in my face. I will definitely use this the next time someone try’s to debate be on another topic. Thank you for speaking the truth always!! I loved the video!
I'm not surprised by Chris brown comments but what pissed me off was his fans that were black people trying to switch up what he meant by nice hair. Me and my friend talked about this saying that you can not be a black and brown person, grow up in a black and brown household/environment and do not know what's the underlying definition of nice hair. Like c'mon why does people become dumb when its their favorite celebrities? We all know that "nice hair vs bad hair" is connected to colorism, featurism, anti blackness and European colonialism. If that wasn't true why have been recent laws that are against racial hair discrimination in jobs and educational institutions?
man. Chris Rock did an ENTIRE DOCUMENTARY on the concept of "good hair" and what it means politically and socially. Chris Brown sounds like the Asian man selling weave and trash talking Afro textures smfh
@Mia Pratt i include them in it bc issues like colorism, featurism, etc are global issues that go beyond the black american community. I feel we experience the worst brunch of it but it's a global issue and i only bring up for people who like to gaslight on them and act like it's a urban legend to the black american community
Then ppl keep saying, “preference this, preference that.” A preference is something you prefer over something else, doesn’t mean you hate the something else, you love the something else, but you love the preference a little bit more.” Chris said he ONLY.... which means it’s not a preference, it’s a choice to be colorist as evident by his previous and current companions....
THE-Daywalker ... The only reason i don’t really get this is because I’m white and black women are my preference, does that mean I’m “colourist” towards my own white race women?!
@Anne Day "i have black friends" is fair argument,cuz if u were racist would u have close relations with the people u hate ? He said a line about hair and the insecurities of boack women came crawling out,and u want black men to be attracted to that,never
That's why I respect Denzel Washington his wife is Dark skin and he keeps his ish under raps not to embrace her and his career is never ending because he keep it 💯💯
@JoMoe G. A friend of mine 20 years ago told me that Denzel tried to get with her at bar. I didn't believe her at the time but now I know she was telling the truth. We were in college at the time and she was a blond, fit, 20 yr old.
I'm a lighter skinned guy who prefers black women and I have no preference of shade or hair type when it comes to black women; you all are beautiful to me as long as your personality is on point.
All facts. The numbers just don’t add up in a black (brown-dark skin) woman favor. I’ve gotten flack from black men for dating outside my race and I unapologetically don’t care.
Same. But men are men. Better to focus on mutual benefit rather than race. If a man truly loves you, he will want to empathise with you and your world completely, including your racial struggles.
...and they are NOT Kings.. so you can trash that term. If Black men want to call each other Kings.. let them. But Black women need to fix their own crowns.
Drake is an interesting character because he doesn’t have a type at all. I’ve seen him with all types of women, from Serena, to bbw women, to white women. He reminds me of some of the light biracial guys I’ve dated in the past, who back in the day they weren’t really getting anybody and now that they’re grown and handsome they like everybody lol. I’ve seen it countless times. But yes I do think he was embarrassed about his bm.
He was embarrassed because she was a zipcode booty call and he didn't want anyone to know he got a random girl pregnant. And he probably didn't even believe it was his kid.
Lol this is why I date who is attracted to me (who all happen to be light skin men, biracial and or Latino men) and ignore who isn’t 🤷🏾♀️ I’ve just stopped caring.
Mela Boricua ... Can I just say something, as a white guy that loves black women are sorry to use the word but black women are my “preference” lol .. when you’re talking to a white guy or mixed guy try not to make them feel like they are your back up plan, like really you wanted a dark skin black man but fuck it since you couldn’t you thought “fuck it I might as well settle for a white guy then” it’s not a very nice feeling
SOOOOOOOOO many points made in this video. One of your best tbh. I'm black and considered light-skinned (though it depends on the time of year.) I was once told by a male friend that he "preferred light-skinned girls." Some family members assumed we dated (we didn't), and I told them he was just a friend, and that I didn't like his colorist preferences. But they responded "Yeah, but your light-skinned." So what? I don't want to date someone with colorist ideals, just because I'm "light-skinned" doesn't give me some sort of "pass" to date someone who goes against a core value of mine because I suit a preference of theirs.
I’m light-skinned and I’ve dated girls who don’t like dark skin guys doesn’t bother me at all far as I’m concerned it doesn’t have anything to do with me
Yg couldnt even help himself. So disappointing. Imagine if you're a dark skinned parent with your dark skinned baby in the audience while Yg was spitting all that poison. Wow man.
The dumbest ones are the ones that feel they're doing nothing wrong putting it out like that. Asap Rocky, CB, YG... But you'd never catch Jay Z saying that
"There simply are not enough unincarcerated, alive black men to partner the number of single black women in this country" that hit harder than i expected
Honestly, stuff like this triggers my depression. It’s hard to feel proud and like I belong in a world when I’m getting reminded left and right that I am not enough. I feel like I am in the wrong world and wrong dimension altogether.
@@hdhdu7634 that’s the biggest point here. They enslaved us physically and mentally and created a mindset that black men weren’t enough, that we didn’t belong, that we were ugly and 3/4 a human so now we have self hating, colorism in the community. U can blame jim Crowe and all the other divisive attacks on the black man.. he’s the head so u get him to self sabotage and it’s downhill from there.. (over 500 years of this this you) if the black man can’t see himself in a positive manner, he won’t see his soul mate, the black women the same either.
Alex Meggoe in my life, I have only came across one woman who dated only light skin men. We roasted her to smithereens when she told us she would never date a dark man. However, I have came across HUNDREDS of men that only date light skin women and treat dark women with disrespect...and not a peep come from their friends about...partly because they probably condone their behavior. 🙄
I used to work in store where I was one of the only lower workers (i.e. not managers) who was white, and when guys at my work would talk about a pretty girl, the first question was always “is she light-skinned?”
@Donald Allen that's definitely not true, go around and ask both males and females if they are attracted to Tall, short, skinny, fat or buff people in their partner; they will give you some kind of preference. So idk where you pulled that b.s. from there is a reason why majority of women prefer tall dudes over short, or why some guys like boobs over ass. Don't lie to yourself over " people can't have a preference" bullshit when people do.
Let's not forget, a lot (not all) play back women as a fiddle. They won't claim them in a relationship but they want all the benefits of one. Then when theyre ready, they'll date lighter or white. If they date a light skin, they'll use brown and darker skin for their sexual interests on the down low.
@Ella Hendrix Both of those are problematic in their own ways. But 'Nice' hair is steeped in colourism. Isn't that what the whole video was discussing? That saying you have a preference for something has meaning behind it. This obsession over big butts is also a symptom of the over sexualization/Fetishising of black womens' bodies but I think she has another video addressing that. I am gonna re-watch tho, didn't catch what she said about big butts.
kim, let me tell you, us non-black darker skinned ladies have to worry about this as well within our own community. the lighter you are the more "valuable" you are, the darker you are the less "valuable" you are for marriage. i have heard it my entire life about how if i wore lighter foundation i would find a man, how if i was lighter i would be more beautiful. i never believe that bullshit
carole mcphee I wish non black dark skin women would also voice their struggles more often. We need a global collective to combat colorist and allow darker women to just live and enjoy their lives.
@@nyanzarojas8776 yes, this is so true. a lot of darker women from asia, arab and south asians bleach their skin to look lighter, and it is a risk to their health, and it is stupid.
I love that you did this video. After my wedding, the D.J. told me he thought I was going to be light skinned from our phone conversation. I did not tell my husband until we left, but it threw me off. Smh
And sometimes preferences are often a mask for.... preferences. I'm not saying that that can't be true I just think that her phrase shouldn't be applied overall but on a more individual case but even more so her phrase shouldn't be portrayed as absolute because it's minds out here that sometimes can't differentiate between a catchy sometimes true statement and what's the most likely occurrence.
Whenever males TRY and hold the "least desired women in the world" over me I can't help but think of facts. Fact; the most desired women are still being beaten hey CB punching THEM in the face. I mean karreuche got a whole 5 year restraining order against his ass. Didn't know they lasted that long. The desired women are still getting cheated on, still being left behind with kids to fend for, relationships still the same. So really should any woman be sad about not being FIRST In line or at all to be treated like shit? I say no.
It’s not just Chris cokehead Brown it’s also ASAP Rocky, YG, Tyrese, Tank, Daniel Caesar, Lloyd, Bow Wow, Omarion, TI, Tory Lanez, and a plethora of other black entertainers. We black women have a lot to be resentful about. We are not considered the standard of beauty and it’s black men’s fault.
To say it's any one group's, particularly Black men's, fault, means that you believe life occurs in a vacuum. Black men are and have been taught and manipulated , like everyone else, that white women are the standard of beauty and a symbol of success.
I’m in middle school and I experience the same things. Everyone’s like I want a light skin because all dark skin girls are ugly and me being a dark skin girl I find it rude they favor skin color and hair type over another. It’s all beautiful, it’s all unique, everyone should be on the same level of acceptant as everyone else. There was a boy I liked once an I had got a tan over the summer and he called me ugly because i was too dark but once I got to winter and my tan went away to here I was wayyy lighter nearly a mixed type he said I looked beautiful all because of my skin tone difference. If you’re a dark, brown, light, whatever shade love yourself and don’t beat yourself up over some words because you shouldn’t need to have anyone’s approval of your looks because you should know that you’re stunning.
Black men and women relationships reminds me of Nicki Parker and Professor Olglevee, blaxk women stay chasing or begging for attention and affection and black men representing Professor always running away or exploiting the true feelings of black women. I pray we release ourselves from the desire to always chase, and become more in love with ourselves first!! Every other race of women always puts themselves first above all. I’m just tired of this dirty dance with black men. And another note, notice how professor only wanted Nicki when if Benefitted him. He knew he could call her or depend on her when he needed anything. It’s just so sad to me that anytime she wanted him it had to cost her something. They’ve been telling us how blaxk men exploited us we just cared so much about their imagery and how they were seen to the world while they trashed ours
Damn! You’re statistics on the black male population in metropolitan areas definitely clarified why I’m single ASF!! Looks like I need to reroute my dating strategy 😩😩
@Pixel Smile don't tell me to shut up. I'm 19 and I date all races. all I said was to open up your options. there are more black women in college than black men, so why should any young black woman limit herself? I live in America, I do not have to venture out to different countries to find a man, especially at my young age. black women should exercise the options that are right in front of them. stop telling black women to "travel," such nonsense.
@@che238 At age 19 you're within you peak sexual and marriage market value and prime years - if you're having trouble getting a husband, it's because you're doing it wrong or doing LOTS of things wrong.
Kelly continues to disappoint. I think she's just one of those women that's been conditioned to try and "be the bridge". It might come from the fact that she tends to be the standard of dark skin beauty in the hip hop industry. It's always "light skin girls and some Kelly Rowlands"...bc light skin girls are apparently allowed to look like any damn thing, while dark skin women all have to resemble Kelly specifically to be considered attractive enough to make it into these niggas VIP lounges smh.
mocadelite18 I’ve learned that Kelly Rowland is just an insecure dark skinned black woman. Which is unfortunate because she’s a beautiful woman inside and out.
I was at a party the other week. Not sure how or why this came up. A black guy told me he doesn't date blacks chicks, only white and spanish chicks. Lol, what a bizarre thing to say in a group of people. To a white woman, too (myself). I was confused. I should have said "damn, black girls must be lucky". drat!!! But honestly, black girls are lucky that guys like that don't want them, because he was obviously sick, imo. I'm always happy to see black women with white men (who I assume are not treating them like gutter trash). Yeah, may have not been their first sexual preference but they are respected and protected.
He was trying to pander to you being that you’re a white woman. That’s the issue that many black women have with black men who date interacially, they feel like they have to put black women down in order to appeal to women of other races and it’s not necessary.
Im a guera Mexican American and Ive never been into white guys ever . Even if some are handsome i would ( although married ) never have any relations with one . Ive always only wanted a Copper tone Native Mexican man . i would never even date central american or any other type Latino no matter how fine they are . some people really do just have prefrance . My husband is the same , he wasnt into darker mexican woman . It happens in every culture . Maybe opposites attract ?
V_NeuroDoll I I'm sorry but I'm black and you're kinda racist. There are plenty of nice white guys out there. People need to drop their prejudice and give them a chance. 🤷♀️
8:39 That picture started such good conversion on Twitter, it reminds me of that Lance Gross christmas photo. Chrissie did a really good video on it. There's the "come-up" darker woman or the single woman, and the "trophy" woman or girlfriend who is lighter.
I love you and thank you for speaking up for black women. This topic can be very scary to talk about because like you said you might be labeled as a "black man hater" but they need to hear the truth.
There are a lot of black man haters out there that wants to justify to the world and there conscious that they only like other races men because black men are colorist when in fact they like other races of men because that's what they're attracted to. Don't shit on black men and label them colorist because you're attracted to white, latino, or any non black man. Like who you like n own it without stipulations is all.
He could be telling the truth. He looks like the kind of black guy that marries a black chick and tries to get her fat. I know so many guys that do that, it's funny.
I always enjoy your videos! And I really wish people would stop shutting colorism discussions down with preferences. It's past time to dig deeper to find what's actually shaping those preferences.
Plus, preference doesn't mean you date in a prejudicial way. A girl may prefer men with blue eyes. But that doesn't mean she only dates blue eyed men; it doesn't mean that she demeans and mocks and insults all men who do not have blue eyes. A preference is just that, something you prefer, it isn't a hard rule.
That's easy to answer...... A very long history of media brainwashing.....negative images of people of color. It was the deep rooted belief that blackness is unattractive... I've heard this sentiment in my family......I don't remember a time when this wasn't prevalent. I'm 50.....
Thank you for this.. I love that more black women you tubers are talking about colorism as articulately and eloquently as you are. And I love Chrissie for starting the conversation.
Blows my mind that certain people dont find black women beautiful. Or that only a certain type is. Imho I find black women to be the MOST attractive. Anyways. Back to the video💜
I never considered your explanation for why so many straight black men have a distaste for Kamala Harris. Makes complete sense though, they hate her because they can't have her. As a black man myself, I agree there is a hierarchy, which explains why black men consider even the nonblack women with the worse reputations prizes.
I am sitting here SHOOK at this video. I am well versed in colorism & the effects it has on our community, but this...THIS went deep & your commentary on Kamala Harris makes SOOOOO much sense.
Thank you for your content! I am a white woman and lately I’ve been watching a lot of videos from black women because I think it’s important for me to learn about the struggles faced outside of my race & dismantle any unconscious prejudices I may have hiding in my psyche just from simply being born into this racist society. Also, I find it INSANE that so many people consider darker skin unattractive. Dark skin is so beautiful!
Gurrrrlll 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾 You are younger than me and you be teaching me some thangs.... My problem is these men require the bare minimum from these white women and they require so much from us.. I’m so sick of them.. As always, GREAT GREAT GREAT commentary. I really do appreciate your voice and your point of view.
Absolutely we should all listen to the stories, dreams, and aspirations of our sister and what I rich history we have of them. Now with that being said when there're stories of accusations we should flip that coin and hear both sides. Black men don't hate our women, there are some colorist (both sexes) but more likely it's preferences that wins the day. For me, I just try to save the day and tell the general truth and champion black men in these types of discussions because a lot of time vlogs like these are echo chambers of misconceptions and misperceptions of the mindset and interactions of black men.
Denying someone because of their complexion, natural hair texture or race is NOT A PREFERENCE. If you are ok with denying someone because of those things, you have some deep internal prejudices you need to work on.
I have an associate who made a fb post about not understanding why people were so mad about Chris Brown saying he wants girls who have their hair done and why is that such a big deal... she has a Masters and it is insulting that she would even make that statement....I was going to respond but it is not worth my energy
Many black men use (dark skinned) black women as the come up woman, and then when they get on, get themselves a light skinned black woman, a light skinned mixed woman, a light skinned Latina or a white woman. Just like Biggie Smalls traded Lil' Kim for Faith Evans, P. Diddy left Kim Porter for J.Lo, Dr. Dre left Michel'le for his current, light skinned wife, etc., etc., etc.
This video is so perfect that I wish that it never ended. I love how Kim breaks everything down in such an intellectual way. I’d love to be friends with a woman like that.
To be honest, from his song “Look At Me Now” from a few years back, I thought we been knew. The lyrics “*yellow model chick*, yellow bottle sippin’, yellow Lamborghini, yellow top missin’” basically told us a little bit of what we pretty much know now.
I remember watching The Red Table Talk with Steph Curry' s wife, mom, and sister recently feeling the same way I felt years before when I saw the VMA picture you posted. This is not an attack on any of the women on the show that day or in the VMA picture. I'm just pointing out that every last one of the women on the show that day were extremely light skinned biracial women. Just like the VMA picture it was a clear example of the type of woman Black men view as desirable. The type of woman you almost always see successful Black men with. To be honest, successful or not these are the type of women Black men in general desire. I think it's sad that a lot of Black men have the attitude that darker skin Black women aren't good or beautiful enough. They are not only telling us as Black women how they feel but also the world. They get with white or non Black women and you can see the look of pride on their faces as they show off their non Black "prize". To be truthful it's embarrassing because they are basically telling the world they hate their own Black skin.
Your last sentence says it all. Black men avoid black women because they remind them of themselves - and they hate themselves because they've been taught by a racist society that everyone hates them and they not only have no inherent worth, but don't deserve it until they can "prove" they have it by attracting and getting with a higher value woman (in the eyes of society of course). And that woman is never a dark skinned black woman.
@@britbritnicole I'm aware of that. But I also said that successful or NOT these are the types of women Black men tend to desire. Like I pointed out, this is not an attack on any of these women. I just see the pattern with Black men in general.
@@truelove3499 what I think is crazy is that these men don't even think or wonder about the consequences of having kids themselves. Like just because they picked someone with light skin doesn't mean they're not going to end up with dark-skinned daughters. And what happens then? They just pass on their sense of worthlessness due to skin colour onto them? The whole thing is just toxic.
@@indrinita I'm going to be honest when I say my heart breaks when I see colorist end up with dark skin daughters. I feel sick knowing they are more than likely going to grow up in a toxic environment just because they have darker skin. It's sad.
Okay wow! You just articulated everything that is wrong with pop culture and black men in the entertainment industry so effortlessly. I feel so understood.
Im with you on not caring what black men have to say about their "preferences" anymore. Their problems are not my problem so I hang out and date where im wanted.
Very well articulated. Yes the part about the rapper during Nippsey Hussle moment was classic. I wonder how these men will deal with their daughters if they a become darker as the get older.
There is soooo much content on Patreon. SIGN UP! Patreon.com/ForHarriet
what is the difference between CB wanting a women with a certain hair texture and women who want a man over a certain height?
EPicvictoryAhead the two dont equate.
people's preferences are their preferences; CB stated his preference in an indelicate way . I'll concede to that.
EPicvictoryAhead have a preference all you want, but saying “nice hair” is anti black and distasteful, period point blank. its not a preference, its ignorance
I cant wait for your review of The Handmaids Tale season 3 'cause......... What A MESS !!! I promise I'll patron when I have a job. I LOVE listening to you talking about anything. Greetings from Granada :)
“The black men are various skin tones, the women are light skin black women, mixed women, and Kim Kardashian.” 🗣😂😂😂😂😂😂
That made me lol😅👏
😆😆😆
I bet that the cut that happened right away at 8:47 was because she was laughing at her own joke 😂😂😂 that was gold.
That was hilarious!
AND KIM KARDASHIAN made me fall out 😂 like she’s a whole alien out here no ethnicity. That’s a Kardashian 😭
"do not stress yourself out over people who don't want you" omg preach
Truth is.... anyone who thinks like that aint worth being with anyway.
wlw cats exactly I don’t want nobody that don’t want me
Yesss
Period, Pooh
Exactly 👏🏽👏🏽💯💯
When she said “Chris and I are the same age, but I’m too old for it” I felt that.
Eden he’s twice my age and even I’m too old for it
Yep same
Kim is like an “in the know” friend/ sister. When she speaks it’s like she reminds me that she’s smart and I’m smart and we’re having a smart conversation together ridiculing the world. Girl keep it up!
Jahleesa imfurst agreed!
Yassss
"Having a smart conversation, ridiculing the world" 😂😂😂 yes, yes, yes! Crazy how RUclips has been my and many other people's main source of intellectual conversations and debates. Mainstream media really f**king sucks.
Jahleesa imfurst That is LITERALLY how I feel lol
Chris Brown can keep his Becky! She's currently trying to steal his money and I hope she gets it.
🤣
Amen sis!!!
but they dont want him either. they all leave him despite his money.
No woman wants him. But if non black women can get in on his money, he would have to support them. Just like ANY woman on this planet.
I hope she robs him of every penny. This man is TRASHHHH.
One day I wish to be as knowledgeable and speak as eloquent as you. It's so effortless.
Imani Yas'Mine gurl same. I need to be on her level.
FACTS
Saaame
So do I, and I'm old.
It's the Harvard in her ..lol
As much I don't care for Chris I always love Kim's articulate breakdowns and discussions. So despite the topic I'm intrigued by her take.
Thank you for speaking about this Kim. As a black man, i feel that our community makes so many excuses for black men (dating interracialy is acceptable, we can be promiscuous, we are expected to cheat, have numerous children by different partners, we can be out of shape or older and still can pull younger or more successful women, and we can put pressure on black women to live up to standards that most of us dont meet) and yet for black women (they have to stay in shape yet be "curvy", keep up a high standard of beauty, marry black, take care of the family, not have multiple kids or multiple sexual partners, serve her husband..etc). Black women are expected to support and fight for black men, yet no one wants to admit that black men only take the love and support given to them from black women in our community only to abandon black women as soon as we get an opportunity.
@Dayna Dayn so do I. It's refreshing.
I’ve never heard such an honest statement from a black man.
Philip W. This is the realest comment I’ve seen. I hope there r a lot more black men that think like you.
omg thank you for this comment!
EXACTLY! Well Said👏👏👏👏👏💯💯💯
“I’m attracted to men and I don’t know why.”
Same girl same
I lament this every damn day. I don't like shit about them, but there is an innate desire in me, as a human, causing me distress because of the contradiction.
@@shonnie1203 7 months late lol, but you've summed up the way I feel perfectly.
it is a primal instinct
@@shonnie1203 yeah me
same...im a teen but same xD so boys
"Because beauty is the capital for women, but women are the capital for straight men in the system of structural inequality..." DAMN
Her Comment was straight heat no doubt about it loved it
That part!
dont fall for the lies folks
Chris Brown sang « And I am light skin Black » in the song with lil dicky like it was something to be praised. As if being « light skin » was the better part of being black. This guys BEEN A colorist and always will be.
He did but he still has his fans, you must admit it.
His black *female* fans, that is. They are his biggest fan base.
Lol whenever my bf sees Chris brown he always sings 'I'm light skin black!'... my bf ain't light btw but it's funny
That was actually lil dicky singing... technically
lil dicky wrote that whole verse, including the lightskin part.... chris sang it but had no input on the lyrics (i'm guessing). lil dicky wrote the whole thing then approached chris brown with it, don't put blame on him for something he didn't write (what he does write is a different matter, of course).
As a dark-skinned female, I’ve noticed from an early age that black men were not as attracted to me as my lighter skinned friends. Therefore, I started dating Europeans, and Ive never looked back! Good luck black women!
Non black men LOVE Beautiful chocolate queens.
Black men noticed how black women started dating Europeans because of supposed colorism so they in turn started dating Europeans. Good luck to black women and black men regardless of who they date. No hate only elevation.
🤗🤗🤗🤗
@gooby pls she is a very smart girl!
@@craigr9831 don't you mean how black women noticed how black mèn...
As a young black girl growing up...
It is good to see that a woke black woman is such a good role model I love you ❤
👍🏾👊🏾✌🏾🇳🇬🇺🇸
Chris brown was cancelled the day he beat the crap out of rihanna. I don’t understand why ANYONE would continue to support him or his music.
I haven't checked for Chris Brown since that happened. I was so confused that he still had a career after that.
yep. that was my cue to leave the Chris Brown's train too.
Yes
Yes and he just keeps getting more and more slimy
Mystic527 people say he changed but he's still accused of bad shit lmaoo his fans just hate women
I'm a black man in my latter 60s. That means I was a young man in the late 60s when being black became beautiful--when "Am I black enough for you?" was a thing we said. An entire culture decided--decided, as individuals and as a group--that dark skin and natural hair is beautiful.
This is what I've learned over the years: Human beings like what we want to like. We are not controlled by inborn "preferences," we learn those preferences. I'm not going to argue about gender, but for sure in terms of "beauty," it's all a matter of what we've been taught and what we have decided to like.
And what we like can be changed--the continuing success of the entire advertising industry proves it can be changed.
No excuses.
🙌🏾
Agreed. The media brainwashing is the reason for so much colorism today.
I always think of Kevin Hart. When his star began to shine brighter and brighter, somehow his dark skinned black wife who helped get him there just could no longer cut it. How convenient. It's almost like he couldn't achieve full status until his wife looked like most other successful black men's wives.
@A. G. She wrote his jokes lol
Kevin Hart is just the example of an attractive dark skinned black man...
Exactly! But all of a sudden his LIGHTER SKINNED wife is the one he is giving all of his props to?
@@sw6951 Right! ✊🏿
Nah idk I think their marriage sucked. They were also together for long and he obviously wanted to sleep around a bit.
It's not fair that black women have to live with this kind of stress.
We have to deal with racism, sexism and colourism on a daily basis.
There are days when I feel like it's too much 😔
I know how you feel. It almost feels like no one finds you desirable but my mom always told me, “if there’s 1 man that thinks you’re ugly for something, there’s at least 3 that think you’re gorgeous.” Beauty is also defined by what you see in the mirror. It doesn’t matter what the colorists or racists say. If you think you’re beautiful and unique, that’s all that matters. ❤️
Don't give up!!!! Keep pushing and pressing, treat each day like its brand new and you're expecting something good to happen. Just don't give up you have the blood of a survivor in you! Somewhere in your bloodline there's a slave who endured injustices, unimaginable suffering so that you could come through. That's not mine that's Iyanla's, but it is so true..
It's really not fair to us a black women. It's sad and sometimes I kind of feel hopeless about marrying a black man.
@@lifelove6164 Girl me too and I'm only 20. It just seems like my generation of black men only want non black women. It's sad.
Men are also fixated on Serena Williams' husband being white too...
RayS2able wow y’all have no chill
@RayS2able calling her a man is why she is with a white man now. y'all scared her away
They maaddddd
It was mainly white men calling her a man. ESPN fired the white announcer for calling her a man. Just recently a white male tennis tournament was fired for calling her and the sister Venus the Williams Brother. Let’s not forget that white magazine that Serena sued for depicting her as a monster.
Notice no black male celebs called him out. Hell even kelly Rowland showed him support 😩
@@kristineilochi4615 Yup T.I. is the perfect example
Kelly hurt me to my core because she is literally unable to gain the Beyoncé status of pop success because she is dark. Because a black man lowered her bellow his light skin daughter.🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️🤦🏿♂️ like really Kelly really? You should have kept quiet mxm
Kelly R is what’s wrong with the world.
Because it was nothing to call him out on !
chris brown doesnt like black women
*pretends to be shocked
most black men I think prefer light skin women thats alright with me am not interested in black men their too arrogant for me but have you checked out the men from polynesia....Girl they are gorgeous!
@@minimalistdanse I'm actually more attracted to non-black men. Idk much about Polynesian men lol. I'll check them out!
Does he like any women?
Almost every model in his music videos are white, so we all aren’t surprised 😂
@@LeratoM98 The Rock may be one example for you
We light-skinned Sistahs have an obligation to shut colorism down, at every turn. I had a darker make coworker give me a compliment about my skin and "good hair", to which I laid his ass out. He has a very young, dark skinned daughter. Praising me, over something I can't help, is a insult to her. She's one of my favorite humans, and she needs to know she beautiful BECAUSE of her chocolate skin, not in spite of it.
Fam, if we don't call each other out, and teach truths, our people are doomed to fail.
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Yes!
When I was a teen, I had a friend who was hyper aware about her fair skin because she grew up in a family where she was the only one. She taught me that being objectified for being light was wrong, an insult and should be corrected. We are more than just our hue.
@@CARATMom true. I was also compared to a friend of mine who had dark complexion. Eventually he cried and it broke my heart 😭😭.
Matter of fact that this happened 4 yrs ago when we were in 5th grade shows that children are also in racist environment to talk this type of sh*t.
whenever my first boyfriend, who was latino, would compliment my appearance, it would always be about how curvy i was but how fair my skin was. he was surrounded by other latina women who had the same body type as me, but they were much darker than me - so instead of curvy or sexy, to him they were just 'fat'. i remember him constantly calling his female cousin fat and ugly to her face, and this was just a regular joke that was totally normal in his community - the dark-skinned guys would degrade and humiliate their dark-skinned sisters, cousins, and friends. it always made me really uncomfortable and eventually i realised i'd been fetishised for my white skin - that in order for me to be beautiful in his eyes, the women who looked more like him had to be ugly.
Is it weird that I kinda see Kimberly as like my youtube mom even though she’s like 11 years older than me? Her channel is what aspire mine to be.
This is sweet!
Right, she’s so cool and wise
Not at all. She's my cousin in my head, lol. 💕💕
Shasha Vengesayi Right! Before I found her channel I considered myself to be progressive & well-versed when it comes to Black issues, but every time she posts a video I learn something that I’d never considered. I really means a lot to me as a young Black girl to see someone as like her speak on these issues.
You made a great choice; Kimberly is a wise, talented woman.
"Beauty is the capital for women, but women are the capital for straight men." - I felt that.
i was just reading you comment as she said it. Wish you a great year 🙏😊
Yeah whatever helps yall sleep. Men run the world. Women are here for the ride
@@machinegirl03 we may be terrible at it but we do it better and there is a reason you cant step up to do it. You get kicked to the side easily.
I don’t get it. Read it like four times.
I asked my male friend was the girl he talking to pretty, and he replied “shes lightskin” as if her being lightskin automatically means she’s beautiful. I was shook I had to go in on his ass, he apologized and said he didn’t realize.
Words matter and I can understand why you'd be upset with your friend but also intent matters and from your description of the conversation it seems as if your friend was oblivious and didn't mean any harm. So I don't necessarily see him saying she's "light skin" as being a colorist I see that as a preference.
I just don't see why we should shame black men for having a preference for light skinned women. Most black women have a preference for darker skinned guys but they aren't getting shamed for that like black men are but it's a preference. Or women don't get shamed for having a preference for tall men but black men are getting shamed for their preferences while everyone else is applauded for there's. I'm at a loss because I really want to make sense of the rationale that it's ok for black women to have preferences but not black men.
Craig R his statement was him saying that all lightskin women are attractive being there skin is lighter....there’s a fine line between preference and colorism. He was being colorist.
@@jashashi8464 ok and agree with you if that's how he put it.
For my part I just don't think we should stigmatize black men if they have a preference for light skinned women n the same sense that black women don't get stigmatized for having a preference for darker skinned men. Now if someone talking bout dark skinned women not beautiful he/she deserve all that smoke. My point is alot of darker skinned women get up in arms about black men personal preferences when they themselves have their own. Fairness and equality between the sexes of black folk is what I try to express in replies on hot button topics like these.
That70s Hoe Good for you Sis! A skin tone does not automatically make someone attractive. I have said to many who deny colorism exists that when a black man is dating a light skinned woman, that’s the first thing he tells his boys. “ Man, she’s light skinned...” Black men never come out and say “Man I met this beautiful woman.. She’s dark skinned...”
@@craigr9831 it doesn't matter how he put it. colorism doesn't always go with intent, as for racism, sexism, homophobia, etc. bc when ppl are conditioned by society to be such, they themselves don't even see the problem in their preference for light/white skin, it just seems natural
"I'm attracted to men. I don't know why."
The official motto of straight feminist. lol
Nublet864
Lmao!
Nublet864, I am too, and I do know why. lol
😂😂😂
Yesss I love that!!!
I felt that too 🤣🤣🤣
I dated black men and also had a 9 year relationship with the boyfriend before my husband. My husband is Indian. In my mind dating was always a stepping stone to marriage but unfortunately the boyfriend before the husband told me that he was not ready for marriage. He also seemed shocked when I moved on. To my surprise, when I became involved with my husband black men were angry. I had seen so many black men with women of other races and even had them say what skin tone they preferred to my face so I was flabbergasted. What is good for the goose is obviously not good for the gander. Yes I was attracted to my husband's looks but also to the fact that he wanted to marry me.
@Anne Day u think I don't know that ,these men use black women as social currency in the world their men who have much more power than us they never give back ,they need validation and support from black women but don't need us when they get to the point of success
girl narcissistic if you ask me
Anne Day
One sided loyalty will definitely make you crazy
this! I had an ex, chew me out and call me a bed wench, when I dated someone of another culture after we were done. He said this to me while he was dating a white women. He was a dark skin black man.
*standing ovation* Good for you! The hypocrisy is maddening.
"Beauty is the capital for woman and woman are the capital for men"-
That's such a powerful powerful statement
Girl, let me just say I found your channel a couple of days ago and I am HERE FOR YOU! 🙌🏾🙌🏾 So refreshing.
Ayeee didn't expect to see my country cousin Amber in these comments. Hey girl! lol
What I wanna know is why some black women, especially dark skin black women, are so loud and proud in supporting him?? it hurts me.
Self hate.... Ppl still don't know. It's quite obvious Goddess... Black women need to tech there son.... They the ones disrespecting y'all... Why don't they teach they son? Problem solved.... O yeah that's cause they don't overstand there divinity or origin... "black"race still under a deep spell
Self hate? I don’t even life in USA I don’t speak English very well , I know Chris Brown from the TV since a I was more little and I like Chris brown ‘cause I love his songs and I’m in love with the dance, he’s a good dance r and I wannabe like him in the area of dance and make music, only for this.... his personal life in not my f*cking problem, and I don’t know why u just say his fans have self-hate ....... I don’t even defend Chris Brown is his bad actions I know he did bad things, but me.... I am not nothing for judge him.... I’m only a fan of his WORK,,,,, people WORK like singer and dancer.
@Wild Hearts okay
Yes I never understand this either!
Because he is HONEST
Men across the board have one thing in common:
The audacity.
I always wonder why these people who have a so called “preferences” have to put down the women they are not attracted to? Is it really hard not to bring up those you don’t desire?
Randomly found because they use the word preference incorrectly.
Like she said, this is a man's way of asserting his dominance over women, and aligning himself with people in power.
The same way Black women openly talk about their preferences in men. If a man is not who they desire, he is automatically put in the ugly box.
@@robertyeah7280 But don't we shit on the man publicly about our preferences. Nope. I dated a man on and off from 17-22 who wasn't my type. He was 5'8" like me, light skin, and skinny. He's not my type on the outside but we fit 65% of the bill on the inside. I could've been like you Black men and said disrespect him but nope I gave him a chance.
Because they know they are wrong, so they have a defensive attitude downing their own blood to justify their sin.
I think ppl need to stop hiding behind the word preference. I, as a black man, am naturally attracted to women of all shades. I don’t blatantly seek black women that look a certain way, it just comes. CB’s denial of his colorism is sad, and I’m happy Tokyo exposed him
Agreed. And preference is a stupid excuse anyway; for example a man may prefer blondes. That's fine. But it doesn't mean he *only* dates blondes *exclusively.* It doesn't mean that he consistently demeans and mocks all non-blondes. If a man acted like that, it would raise questions. That's why 'preference' also doesn't apply. It isn't a simple preference if you're going so far out of your way to be blatantly prejudiced.
Shasha Vengesayi thank you and black men are the only one that feel the need to tell the world about their “preference “ when in actuality their prejudices. Point black.
That's exactly how I viewed black men when I was dating. I didn't care what shade he was I just have a preference for black men. At the end of the day I married a black man.
Part of that For Harriet is talking about is the status thing. Who are the black men dating/marrying who can have anyone. As just an average guy, I can tell you I think Jessica Williams looks absolutely gorgeous with that fro ... but that doesn't erase the wider reality of colorism and general fair skin privilege in the black community and beyond
@@lettylunasical4766 I think with preference, it's okay to be exclusive, but there's a difference between exclusively dating blondes but respecting non-blondes and openly and consistently bashing non-blondes. Exclusive preferences can still be respectful.
When you said “pointing out the exceptions means the rule holds true” I literally was hit in my face. I will definitely use this the next time someone try’s to debate be on another topic. Thank you for speaking the truth always!! I loved the video!
Yes. I bookmarked that.
I'm not surprised by Chris brown comments but what pissed me off was his fans that were black people trying to switch up what he meant by nice hair. Me and my friend talked about this saying that you can not be a black and brown person, grow up in a black and brown household/environment and do not know what's the underlying definition of nice hair. Like c'mon why does people become dumb when its their favorite celebrities? We all know that "nice hair vs bad hair" is connected to colorism, featurism, anti blackness and European colonialism. If that wasn't true why have been recent laws that are against racial hair discrimination in jobs and educational institutions?
man. Chris Rock did an ENTIRE DOCUMENTARY on the concept of "good hair" and what it means politically and socially. Chris Brown sounds like the Asian man selling weave and trash talking Afro textures smfh
@@juicyparsons , while ALL of y'all buying that fake hair has Stockholm syndrome!
@@juicyparsons 👏👏👏👏👏
@Mia Pratt i include them in it bc issues like colorism, featurism, etc are global issues that go beyond the black american community. I feel we experience the worst brunch of it but it's a global issue and i only bring up for people who like to gaslight on them and act like it's a urban legend to the black american community
Chris ain’t say ANYTHING disrespectful
Then ppl keep saying, “preference this, preference that.” A preference is something you prefer over something else, doesn’t mean you hate the something else, you love the something else, but you love the preference a little bit more.” Chris said he ONLY.... which means it’s not a preference, it’s a choice to be colorist as evident by his previous and current companions....
Chris Brown went out his way to help out people like Selvyn Streeter (Dark skin) u really think he hates black women
THE-Daywalker ... The only reason i don’t really get this is because I’m white and black women are my preference, does that mean I’m “colourist” towards my own white race women?!
Thank you
@Anne Day "i have black friends" is fair argument,cuz if u were racist would u have close relations with the people u hate ? He said a line about hair and the insecurities of boack women came crawling out,and u want black men to be attracted to that,never
Anne Day ... I’ve just always found them sexy as fuck and gorgeous ever since I can remember 😕 that’s all it’s based on ?? Lol
That's why I respect Denzel Washington his wife is Dark skin and he keeps his ish under raps not to embrace her and his career is never ending because he keep it 💯💯
@JoMoe G. A friend of mine 20 years ago told me that Denzel tried to get with her at bar. I didn't believe her at the time but now I know she was telling the truth. We were in college at the time and she was a blond, fit, 20 yr old.
N. B. Bovell and he’s homophobic 😂😂😭
@@nickjoy6389 how do you know?
dirty06maggot look it up. He’s really religious and has said a lot of homophobic stuff.
Sooo are you guys saying Denzel is a terrible cheater?
Okay got it...
Lol
That one dislike is Chris Brown's
😅😅😅
😭😭😭
Comment of the day 👍
Lol!!
🤣
And Kelly Rowland (I'm sorry had to say it)
I'm a lighter skinned guy who prefers black women and I have no preference of shade or hair type when it comes to black women; you all are beautiful to me as long as your personality is on point.
TrolandoTV you're wonderful. Keep it up ❤️
LaTosha Stanfield What do you consider me? Notice I said “lighter skinned” not light skinned 😉
@@Trolando I don't consider ppl your skin tone "light or lighter skinned" but I know a lot of ppl do.
MsFarzee Yeah, it’s basically subjective
TrolandoTV - Lovely rare comment
« Kim and Amber basically do the same thing. » I spit out my drink. 😂💀
All facts. The numbers just don’t add up in a black (brown-dark skin) woman favor. I’ve gotten flack from black men for dating outside my race and I unapologetically don’t care.
Omg what business is it of theirs?!
Same. But men are men. Better to focus on mutual benefit rather than race. If a man truly loves you, he will want to empathise with you and your world completely, including your racial struggles.
facts the numbers don't add up and black men want black women to die alone
Alex Meggoe Hypocrisy ain’t it?
Alex Meggoe Facts
"all of those women have similar skin tones, that's not a coincidence ". DONE.
...and they are NOT Kings.. so you can trash that term. If Black men want to call each other Kings.. let them. But Black women need to fix their own crowns.
These black men under this comment are bitter as hell
They are only mad because they have to trick off to get a woman
Drake is an interesting character because he doesn’t have a type at all. I’ve seen him with all types of women, from Serena, to bbw women, to white women. He reminds me of some of the light biracial guys I’ve dated in the past, who back in the day they weren’t really getting anybody and now that they’re grown and handsome they like everybody lol. I’ve seen it countless times. But yes I do think he was embarrassed about his bm.
Me too. I like how Drake just likes what he likes without any real explanation. Lol
India Shep yup.
Drake still trash tho. He’s embarrassed because of her job and sex workers shouldn’t be shamed
@@iamlaurengill I think it's both that she is a sex worker and that she isn't widely considered attractive (by black people)
He was embarrassed because she was a zipcode booty call and he didn't want anyone to know he got a random girl pregnant. And he probably didn't even believe it was his kid.
Lol this is why I date who is attracted to me (who all happen to be light skin men, biracial and or Latino men) and ignore who isn’t 🤷🏾♀️ I’ve just stopped caring.
Yup no sense in worrying anymore
Smart girl!
sym is annoyed lol girl they can.
I had to learn this. Even tho I’m staring at dark chocolate. The mixed raced white coco approaches. So I said f it.
Mela Boricua ... Can I just say something, as a white guy that loves black women are sorry to use the word but black women are my “preference” lol .. when you’re talking to a white guy or mixed guy try not to make them feel like they are your back up plan, like really you wanted a dark skin black man but fuck it since you couldn’t you thought “fuck it I might as well settle for a white guy then” it’s not a very nice feeling
SOOOOOOOOO many points made in this video. One of your best tbh.
I'm black and considered light-skinned (though it depends on the time of year.) I was once told by a male friend that he "preferred light-skinned girls." Some family members assumed we dated (we didn't), and I told them he was just a friend, and that I didn't like his colorist preferences. But they responded "Yeah, but your light-skinned." So what? I don't want to date someone with colorist ideals, just because I'm "light-skinned" doesn't give me some sort of "pass" to date someone who goes against a core value of mine because I suit a preference of theirs.
I’m light-skinned
and
I’ve dated girls who don’t like dark skin guys
doesn’t bother me at all
far as I’m concerned
it doesn’t have anything to do with me
@@og-greenmachine8623 being lighskinned gives you a privilege, it does have something to do with you. Youre just self centered and refuse to care.
@@eller.6322 🖤🖤
Yg couldnt even help himself. So disappointing. Imagine if you're a dark skinned parent with your dark skinned baby in the audience while Yg was spitting all that poison. Wow man.
The dumbest ones are the ones that feel they're doing nothing wrong putting it out like that. Asap Rocky, CB, YG... But you'd never catch Jay Z saying that
Ricky Fernandes Chris ain’t say NOTHING
"There simply are not enough unincarcerated, alive black men to partner the number of single black women in this country" that hit harder than i expected
Jon Mwan No one is gonna fly to Africa just to get a black man...
@@libertypltd4198 It happens both ways, awkward Black girls get passed over as well. You are generalizing alot.
@Anthony Bush Here you go trolling again...you need God's help...STRONG deliverance.
WusPopN Mane? Are we the poorest because we’re the most educated? Or did you pull that statistic out of your ass?
LibertyPLtd that’s a lie.
Honestly, stuff like this triggers my depression. It’s hard to feel proud and like I belong in a world when I’m getting reminded left and right that I am not enough. I feel like I am in the wrong world and wrong dimension altogether.
Hey it's fine. Anyone who doesn't accept you isn't worth your time. Ever. Believe in yourself and your unique beauty. God bless you. I love you.
The legacy of white supremacy is devastating💔
@@hdhdu7634 that’s the biggest point here. They enslaved us physically and mentally and created a mindset that black men weren’t enough, that we didn’t belong, that we were ugly and 3/4 a human so now we have self hating, colorism in the community. U can blame jim Crowe and all the other divisive attacks on the black man.. he’s the head so u get him to self sabotage and it’s downhill from there.. (over 500 years of this this you) if the black man can’t see himself in a positive manner, he won’t see his soul mate, the black women the same either.
Yeah same. It’s like there isn’t a space to escape ot
I really feel you on this sooo much.
Liking the video solely based on the title. Black men will deny it til the cows come home, but they benefit GREATLY from colorism. 😑
Alex Meggoe not all black women but you aren't completely wrong.
Alex Meggoe in my life, I have only came across one woman who dated only light skin men. We roasted her to smithereens when she told us she would never date a dark man. However, I have came across HUNDREDS of men that only date light skin women and treat dark women with disrespect...and not a peep come from their friends about...partly because they probably condone their behavior. 🙄
The bar for men is so low.. If a woman in the public eye acted as reckless as CB she would be canceled immediately
sam Cardi B drugged men. She doing aite...
Chris Brown looks like he's standing in the need of prayer 😂😂😂 so true 😂
Yep
That was gold
I used to work in store where I was one of the only lower workers (i.e. not managers) who was white, and when guys at my work would talk about a pretty girl, the first question was always “is she light-skinned?”
erin h wow. Even you see it. Yet black men deny colorism all day long 🤦🏽♀️
Blue did you not watch the video? She explains the “so what” of it.
@Donald Allen that's definitely not true, go around and ask both males and females if they are attracted to Tall, short, skinny, fat or buff people in their partner; they will give you some kind of preference. So idk where you pulled that b.s. from there is a reason why majority of women prefer tall dudes over short, or why some guys like boobs over ass. Don't lie to yourself over " people can't have a preference" bullshit when people do.
Let's not forget, a lot (not all) play back women as a fiddle. They won't claim them in a relationship but they want all the benefits of one. Then when theyre ready, they'll date lighter or white. If they date a light skin, they'll use brown and darker skin for their sexual interests on the down low.
Courtney Sims Yes this happens too
I find that a lot of races of men do this esp non black men.
I stopped stressing in 1996, with my dark butt! Lol! I realized a long time ago that bueaty is subjective.
@CreeWilly ummm she's beautiful so just stop
@CreeWilly I reacted
@CreeWilly oops
You’re so intelligent I wish I could articulate myself like this
I was just think the same thing
Agreed.
@Ella Hendrix Both of those are problematic in their own ways. But 'Nice' hair is steeped in colourism. Isn't that what the whole video was discussing? That saying you have a preference for something has meaning behind it. This obsession over big butts is also a symptom of the over sexualization/Fetishising of black womens' bodies but I think she has another video addressing that. I am gonna re-watch tho, didn't catch what she said about big butts.
@Ella Hendrix, lol, you're mixed aren't you?
Same here! She’s so intelligent
kim, let me tell you, us non-black darker skinned ladies have to worry about this as well within our own community. the lighter you are the more "valuable" you are, the darker you are the less "valuable" you are for marriage. i have heard it my entire life about how if i wore lighter foundation i would find a man, how if i was lighter i would be more beautiful. i never believe that bullshit
carole mcphee I wish non black dark skin women would also voice their struggles more often. We need a global collective to combat colorist and allow darker women to just live and enjoy their lives.
@@nyanzarojas8776 yes, this is so true. a lot of darker women from asia, arab and south asians bleach their skin to look lighter, and it is a risk to their health, and it is stupid.
I love that you did this video. After my wedding, the D.J. told me he thought I was going to be light skinned from our phone conversation. I did not tell my husband until we left, but it threw me off. Smh
Wow. Just wow.
I love that line; “Do not stress yourself out about the people who don’t want you.” Spot on!!!
“Preferences are often a mask for deep seated pathology!!” Oooooh I’m definitely using this one 😭 ur so spot on, Kim
And sometimes preferences are often a mask for.... preferences. I'm not saying that that can't be true I just think that her phrase shouldn't be applied overall but on a more individual case but even more so her phrase shouldn't be portrayed as absolute because it's minds out here that sometimes can't differentiate between a catchy sometimes true statement and what's the most likely occurrence.
Whenever males TRY and hold the "least desired women in the world" over me I can't help but think of facts. Fact; the most desired women are still being beaten hey CB punching THEM in the face. I mean karreuche got a whole 5 year restraining order against his ass. Didn't know they lasted that long. The desired women are still getting cheated on, still being left behind with kids to fend for, relationships still the same. So really should any woman be sad about not being FIRST In line or at all to be treated like shit? I say no.
Periodt
No she didn’t and he’s punched NOBODY
POINTING OUT THE EXCEPTION MEANS THAT THE RULE HOLDS TRUE.
And the church said AAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMEN ASÉ
It’s not just Chris cokehead Brown it’s also ASAP Rocky, YG, Tyrese, Tank, Daniel Caesar, Lloyd, Bow Wow, Omarion, TI, Tory Lanez, and a plethora of other black entertainers.
We black women have a lot to be resentful about.
We are not considered the standard of beauty and it’s black men’s fault.
Beyoncca Boyd not Tyrese! This saddens me but oh well
Lloyd?
Girl not the singer Lloyd I hope 🤞🏾
To say it's any one group's, particularly Black men's, fault, means that you believe life occurs in a vacuum. Black men are and have been taught and manipulated , like everyone else, that white women are the standard of beauty and a symbol of success.
NO more resentment! check out my page turn your frustration into gold. all you have to do is not date colorist men.
I’m in middle school and I experience the same things. Everyone’s like I want a light skin because all dark skin girls are ugly and me being a dark skin girl I find it rude they favor skin color and hair type over another. It’s all beautiful, it’s all unique, everyone should be on the same level of acceptant as everyone else.
There was a boy I liked once an I had got a tan over the summer and he called me ugly because i was too dark but once I got to winter and my tan went away to here I was wayyy lighter nearly a mixed type he said I looked beautiful all because of my skin tone difference.
If you’re a dark, brown, light, whatever shade love yourself and don’t beat yourself up over some words because you shouldn’t need to have anyone’s approval of your looks because you should know that you’re stunning.
This is racism WITHIN the race...
I feel it for you. I go through the same thing too😭
You shouldn’t even be thinking of anything
focus on your schoolwork
Unbelievable
Black men and women relationships reminds me of Nicki Parker and Professor Olglevee, blaxk women stay chasing or begging for attention and affection and black men representing Professor always running away or exploiting the true feelings of black women. I pray we release ourselves from the desire to always chase, and become more in love with ourselves first!! Every other race of women always puts themselves first above all. I’m just tired of this dirty dance with black men. And another note, notice how professor only wanted Nicki when if Benefitted him. He knew he could call her or depend on her when he needed anything. It’s just so sad to me that anytime she wanted him it had to cost her something. They’ve been telling us how blaxk men exploited us we just cared so much about their imagery and how they were seen to the world while they trashed ours
Preach!!!@
Damn! You’re statistics on the black male population in metropolitan areas definitely clarified why I’m single ASF!! Looks like I need to reroute my dating strategy 😩😩
open up your dating pool sis. go where you are loved. you dont have to end up with a black man
Pixel Smile please don’t date Nigerian men😂
@Pixel Smile don't tell me to shut up. I'm 19 and I date all races. all I said was to open up your options. there are more black women in college than black men, so why should any young black woman limit herself? I live in America, I do not have to venture out to different countries to find a man, especially at my young age. black women should exercise the options that are right in front of them. stop telling black women to "travel," such nonsense.
Monuments Humans why?
@@che238 At age 19 you're within you peak sexual and marriage market value and prime years - if you're having trouble getting a husband, it's because you're doing it wrong or doing LOTS of things wrong.
What's up with Kelly Rowland giving him a pass and showing him love publicly. I heard people are coming for her though.
Kelly continues to disappoint.
I think she's just one of those women that's been conditioned to try and "be the bridge". It might come from the fact that she tends to be the standard of dark skin beauty in the hip hop industry.
It's always "light skin girls and some Kelly Rowlands"...bc light skin girls are apparently allowed to look like any damn thing, while dark skin women all have to resemble Kelly specifically to be considered attractive enough to make it into these niggas VIP lounges smh.
Ryan Destiny needs to take her place effective immediately.
mocadelite18 I’ve learned that Kelly Rowland is just an insecure dark skinned black woman. Which is unfortunate because she’s a beautiful woman inside and out.
The Little Blerdmaid but WHO is being the bridge for Kelly? The recording industry of America? The buying public? Do better, Ms. Rowland.
Budlong Ave. Productions Yes!
I'm not POC and I learn sooo much from your channel! I'm so glad I found you 😭💞
SO WELL SAID. Do NOT stress yourself out about the people who don't want you. #everything
Don’t save them they don’t want to be saved 😂
As a darker skinned overweight female I know how true this is
I was at a party the other week. Not sure how or why this came up. A black guy told me he doesn't date blacks chicks, only white and spanish chicks. Lol, what a bizarre thing to say in a group of people. To a white woman, too (myself). I was confused. I should have said "damn, black girls must be lucky". drat!!! But honestly, black girls are lucky that guys like that don't want them, because he was obviously sick, imo. I'm always happy to see black women with white men (who I assume are not treating them like gutter trash). Yeah, may have not been their first sexual preference but they are respected and protected.
He was trying to pander to you being that you’re a white woman. That’s the issue that many black women have with black men who date interacially, they feel like they have to put black women down in order to appeal to women of other races and it’s not necessary.
Im a guera Mexican American and Ive never been into white guys ever . Even if some are handsome i would ( although married ) never have any relations with one . Ive always only wanted a Copper tone Native Mexican man . i would never even date central american or any other type Latino no matter how fine they are . some people really do just have prefrance . My husband is the same , he wasnt into darker mexican woman . It happens in every culture . Maybe opposites attract ?
V_NeuroDoll I
If you refuse to date a certain group of people, it’s not a preference. It’s exclusion. A rule of thumb.
Lily plum is right 💯💯💯
V_NeuroDoll I
I'm sorry but I'm black and you're kinda racist. There are plenty of nice white guys out there. People need to drop their prejudice and give them a chance. 🤷♀️
8:39 That picture started such good conversion on Twitter, it reminds me of that Lance Gross christmas photo. Chrissie did a really good video on it. There's the "come-up" darker woman or the single woman, and the "trophy" woman or girlfriend who is lighter.
I love you and thank you for speaking up for black women. This topic can be very scary to talk about because like you said you might be labeled as a "black man hater" but they need to hear the truth.
There are a lot of black man haters out there that wants to justify to the world and there conscious that they only like other races men because black men are colorist when in fact they like other races of men because that's what they're attracted to. Don't shit on black men and label them colorist because you're attracted to white, latino, or any non black man. Like who you like n own it without stipulations is all.
Blacker the berry, sweeter the juice. I love dark skinned black women.
Thank you 😹
I get your point, but women are people...
He could be telling the truth. He looks like the kind of black guy that marries a black chick and tries to get her fat. I know so many guys that do that, it's funny.
@ Sarah.
Are you talking about me?
I am married. But my wife isn’t fat. She weighs about 118lbs.
@@Grimlock987 not saying that you are this kind of guys, but the guys that kinda look like you be trying to flatten their wifes on a sneak.
I always enjoy your videos! And I really wish people would stop shutting colorism discussions down with preferences. It's past time to dig deeper to find what's actually shaping those preferences.
Plus, preference doesn't mean you date in a prejudicial way. A girl may prefer men with blue eyes. But that doesn't mean she only dates blue eyed men; it doesn't mean that she demeans and mocks and insults all men who do not have blue eyes. A preference is just that, something you prefer, it isn't a hard rule.
@@lettylunasical4766 Thank you!!!! Say that again for the people in the front, middle and back.
That's easy to answer...... A very long history of media brainwashing.....negative images of people of color. It was the deep rooted belief that blackness is unattractive... I've heard this sentiment in my family......I don't remember a time when this wasn't prevalent. I'm 50.....
@@design401 💯👏💯👏💯👏💯👏💯EXACTLY media nonsense & social engineering!!!
Thank you for this.. I love that more black women you tubers are talking about colorism as articulately and eloquently as you are. And I love Chrissie for starting the conversation.
Yep
Kimberly takes it to a highbrow level that complements Chrissie's approach nicely ❤️
Blows my mind that certain people dont find black women beautiful. Or that only a certain type is. Imho I find black women to be the MOST attractive. Anyways. Back to the video💜
Same here. I am a black woman and I find black women to be the most attractive on this earth. Our facial structures are just stunning
@@substantianigra4789 I agree!👏 the facial features, the skin, the hair, the BODIES😍😍 I love it all! 💖
I never considered your explanation for why so many straight black men have a distaste for Kamala Harris. Makes complete sense though, they hate her because they can't have her. As a black man myself, I agree there is a hierarchy, which explains why black men consider even the nonblack women with the worse reputations prizes.
Jon Mwan Using laws both Joe Biden and Bernie Sanders supported...
Lmao! Maybe Black men have a distaste for Kamala because of her past record with policies?
Saying someone is “standing in the need of prayer” is my new favorite low key burn of 2020 lol
Joe Fernandez I died after that comment.
I am sitting here SHOOK at this video. I am well versed in colorism & the effects it has on our community, but this...THIS went deep & your commentary on Kamala Harris makes SOOOOO much sense.
Perri Godsk I feel the same way. Kim went further than I was expecting.
“The choices we make reflect what we prize” this is so profound. beautiful. And haunting.
Thank you for your content! I am a white woman and lately I’ve been watching a lot of videos from black women because I think it’s important for me to learn about the struggles faced outside of my race & dismantle any unconscious prejudices I may have hiding in my psyche just from simply being born into this racist society. Also, I find it INSANE that so many people consider darker skin unattractive. Dark skin is so beautiful!
Ericka Hart said it best with “
Desirability is political.”
Gurrrrlll 👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾🙌🏾 You are younger than me and you be teaching me some thangs.... My problem is these men require the bare minimum from these white women and they require so much from us.. I’m so sick of them.. As always, GREAT GREAT GREAT commentary. I really do appreciate your voice and your point of view.
Thank you for being an invaluable resource for white women to listen to Black women voices.
Absolutely we should all listen to the stories, dreams, and aspirations of our sister and what I rich history we have of them. Now with that being said when there're stories of accusations we should flip that coin and hear both sides. Black men don't hate our women, there are some colorist (both sexes) but more likely it's preferences that wins the day. For me, I just try to save the day and tell the general truth and champion black men in these types of discussions because a lot of time vlogs like these are echo chambers of misconceptions and misperceptions of the mindset and interactions of black men.
@@craigr9831 smh u need to have several seats 🤦🏾♀️😒🙄
@@misha9856 I read his Foolery and said Why? you took the words out of my mouth
Denying someone because of their complexion, natural hair texture or race is NOT A PREFERENCE. If you are ok with denying someone because of those things, you have some deep internal prejudices you need to work on.
Shut up and go cry
It's a preference
@@CloudsUnfiltered uh oh… we have a mad struggle dusty in the comments. Lemme get my broom 😩
@@Justcallmepey uh oh we have a bt100 304 in the comments , lemme go get a job application and u might run away
I have an associate who made a fb post about not understanding why people were so mad about Chris Brown saying he wants girls who have their hair done and why is that such a big deal... she has a Masters and it is insulting that she would even make that statement....I was going to respond but it is not worth my energy
Does anyone else just love hearing her talk because it’s a breathe of fresh air 😍
Many black men use (dark skinned) black women as the come up woman, and then when they get on, get themselves a light skinned black woman, a light skinned mixed woman, a light skinned Latina or a white woman. Just like Biggie Smalls traded Lil' Kim for Faith Evans, P. Diddy left Kim Porter for J.Lo, Dr. Dre left Michel'le for his current, light skinned wife, etc., etc., etc.
It's called moving up in life.
Whew! 14:19-14:31 is a WORD! Everybody isn't gonna end up with a black man! A lot of folks need to hear that and internalize the message! 💯
"Neither our preferences nor our desires are benign. Everything is consequential." Wig snatched.
This video is so perfect that I wish that it never ended. I love how Kim breaks everything down in such an intellectual way. I’d love to be friends with a woman like that.
You spoke so much truth, and I absolutely LOVE your content!
To be honest, from his song “Look At Me Now” from a few years back, I thought we been knew.
The lyrics “*yellow model chick*, yellow bottle sippin’, yellow Lamborghini, yellow top missin’” basically told us a little bit of what we pretty much know now.
I remember watching The Red Table Talk with Steph Curry' s wife, mom, and sister recently feeling the same way I felt years before when I saw the VMA picture you posted. This is not an attack on any of the women on the show that day or in the VMA picture. I'm just pointing out that every last one of the women on the show that day were extremely light skinned biracial women. Just like the VMA picture it was a clear example of the type of woman Black men view as desirable. The type of woman you almost always see successful Black men with. To be honest, successful or not these are the type of women Black men in general desire. I think it's sad that a lot of Black men have the attitude that darker skin Black women aren't good or beautiful enough. They are not only telling us as Black women how they feel but also the world. They get with white or non Black women and you can see the look of pride on their faces as they show off their non Black "prize". To be truthful it's embarrassing because they are basically telling the world they hate their own Black skin.
Your last sentence says it all. Black men avoid black women because they remind them of themselves - and they hate themselves because they've been taught by a racist society that everyone hates them and they not only have no inherent worth, but don't deserve it until they can "prove" they have it by attracting and getting with a higher value woman (in the eyes of society of course). And that woman is never a dark skinned black woman.
True Love steph was with his wife before he had money
@@britbritnicole I'm aware of that. But I also said that successful or NOT these are the types of women Black men tend to desire. Like I pointed out, this is not an attack on any of these women. I just see the pattern with Black men in general.
@@truelove3499 what I think is crazy is that these men don't even think or wonder about the consequences of having kids themselves. Like just because they picked someone with light skin doesn't mean they're not going to end up with dark-skinned daughters. And what happens then? They just pass on their sense of worthlessness due to skin colour onto them? The whole thing is just toxic.
@@indrinita I'm going to be honest when I say my heart breaks when I see colorist end up with dark skin daughters. I feel sick knowing they are more than likely going to grow up in a toxic environment just because they have darker skin. It's sad.
The cognitive dissonance and mental gymnastics some people were doing to defend Mr Brown was mind blowing to say the least 😂.
Pelumi Labiyi
He has sense been demoted to “Mr.beige”.
Okay wow! You just articulated everything that is wrong with pop culture and black men in the entertainment industry so effortlessly. I feel so understood.
Im with you on not caring what black men have to say about their "preferences" anymore. Their problems are not my problem so I hang out and date where im wanted.
Very well articulated. Yes the part about the rapper during Nippsey Hussle moment was classic. I wonder how these men will deal with their daughters if they a become darker as the get older.
Speak the truth. I also like how she said “light skin, or.... Kim Kardashian”