Key's Café - No More Jockeys with Alex Horne, Tim Key + Mark Watson

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  • Опубликовано: 6 янв 2025

Комментарии • 102

  • @NoMoreJockeys
    @NoMoreJockeys  3 года назад +122

    Would you like any of our cakes?

    • @unclejibjab
      @unclejibjab 3 года назад +17

      I would. But can you check with your grandchildren if you accept AmEx?

    • @Chris-im3ys
      @Chris-im3ys 3 года назад +2

      ​@@unclejibjab I would. But can you check with your cousin if you accept Crypto?

    • @effbeeaitch
      @effbeeaitch 3 года назад +7

      Any of *your* cakes?

    • @rw4578
      @rw4578 3 года назад +6

      This comment is 3 weeks old, i don't want 3 week old cakes. Thank you.

    • @Jambobist
      @Jambobist 3 года назад +7

      No thanks, just here for some weed and a cry.

  • @ThathertonFuels
    @ThathertonFuels 3 года назад +125

    Unsure why Watson is having so much trouble thinking of what he wants to order.

  • @Five-lines-of-something
    @Five-lines-of-something 3 года назад +88

    I love the occasional interjection from Watto about how wrong his next pick was about to be.

  • @muralidharank671
    @muralidharank671 3 года назад +196

    I'd like a bizzaro day where horne, key and Watson take over the off menu podcast and Ed, James and benito play no more jockeys

    • @Manjusang
      @Manjusang 3 года назад +12

      Dinky Donk = Bleeeeeeeasdaaaaaale

    • @andmicarcfin
      @andmicarcfin 3 года назад +13

      This would be lovely. No More Jockeys and Off Menu are my two most favourite things in life.

    • @urgaguer
      @urgaguer 3 года назад +5

      surely it'll happen when watto gets on off menu. he'll be on any week now.

    • @craig1e12
      @craig1e12 3 года назад +1

      No more jockeys special Friday 1st April 2022…

    • @barnaclefelching4079
      @barnaclefelching4079 2 года назад +1

      Benito can't play as I'm fairly sure it has been established that he doesn't have a face

  • @pazza1376
    @pazza1376 3 года назад +107

    I’d be worried that in Tim’s café you wouldn’t be allowed to order anything that any of the previous customers have ordered.

    • @danielcooper8964
      @danielcooper8964 3 года назад +29

      "Hi, can I have a slice of the battenberg please?"
      "Sorry, someone came in earlier and ordered some Victoria sponge - no more royals"

    • @Raggaliamous
      @Raggaliamous 3 года назад +14

      Don't look at our counters. Don't look at our plates!

    • @Raggaliamous
      @Raggaliamous 3 года назад +13

      @@danielcooper8964" You could try our lemon drizzle cake?"
      "I like what you've had to bake. No more weather."

    • @danielcooper8964
      @danielcooper8964 3 года назад +4

      @@Raggaliamous ok, what about a Belgian bun - no more non UK europeans

    • @pazza1376
      @pazza1376 3 года назад +4

      @@danielcooper8964 Red velvet cake - no more fabrics

  • @benbradley_123
    @benbradley_123 3 года назад +56

    I absolutely love the fact that you've used the music from the Stardrop Saloon!

    • @peacefulpaul
      @peacefulpaul 3 года назад +4

      I hadn't put together why it was so familiar, thank you!

    • @gko18
      @gko18 3 года назад +7

      Key does kinda resemble Gus

    • @geekhomesweethome2299
      @geekhomesweethome2299 3 года назад +1

      @@gko18 Too true!

  • @cdname47
    @cdname47 3 года назад +51

    And the next episode of no more jockeys will take place.....after Tim key has raised a full family to adulthood

  • @Bill-Door
    @Bill-Door 3 года назад +38

    Coming this Autumn, its Key's Cafe! Staring Josh Widdicombe as Mark Watson, David Mitchell as Little Alex Horne and Romesh Ranganathan as Tim Key!
    Only on Dave.

  • @crittertree
    @crittertree 3 года назад +23

    This man is playing Stardew Valley soundtrack. He thought we wouldn't notice, but we did.

    • @schwasareeh
      @schwasareeh 3 года назад +1

      Knew it instantly! Who chooses the music?!

    • @geekhomesweethome2299
      @geekhomesweethome2299 3 года назад

      Is one of them a Stardew Valley player? I would love to know!

    • @schwasareeh
      @schwasareeh 3 года назад

      @@geekhomesweethome2299 is there a producer?

    • @geekhomesweethome2299
      @geekhomesweethome2299 3 года назад +2

      @@schwasareeh There's an editor, I believe, who does things like add pineapples to the amusement of us penguins. I don't know if they choose the music.

    • @occono3543
      @occono3543 4 месяца назад +2

      ​@@geekhomesweethome2299 Haiminh Lee

  • @joansmith69
    @joansmith69 3 года назад +13

    Hearing Stardew Valley music in NMJ was such a hard turnaround for my brain to take in.

  • @mollieherrington8985
    @mollieherrington8985 3 года назад +25

    I think all cafes need to start using this 2-3 year plan before serving cakes to people

  • @leemartindale3149
    @leemartindale3149 3 года назад +11

    This lot are what you'd describe as nuisance penguins.

  • @danielwillits2173
    @danielwillits2173 3 года назад +16

    Does Laura Marling work in the cafe?

  • @gemma8641
    @gemma8641 3 года назад +7

    Not me getting distracted and yelling “That’s Stardew Valley music!”

  • @SgtLion
    @SgtLion 3 года назад +4

    What do you mean no video today? I'm gettin' the shakes man. I NEED IT.

  • @cilycwmmoths2565
    @cilycwmmoths2565 3 года назад +7

    I've got the day off work. NMJ was going to be my treat so I'll have a cake please but a full episode would be the best treat. It's such a miserable day. By the way - you all rock.

  • @kirsty__29
    @kirsty__29 3 года назад +46

    So Horne can get his coffee and cakes, I volunteer to be Key's date. I'm sure there will be a long list.😊

    • @Williamwerenberg
      @Williamwerenberg 3 года назад +1

      You should ask him 😊

    • @Anonymouse85
      @Anonymouse85 3 года назад +3

      The beauty is that you can have cakes from the cafe for your weddingday as well. Key, I know you read the comments, give Kirsty here a chance! ;)

  • @barefootcontessamessa7245
    @barefootcontessamessa7245 3 года назад +5

    Just Key casually in that wig and glasses

  • @PaddyRoon7
    @PaddyRoon7 3 года назад +31

    The entire buildup made the punchline a work of art, got nowhere near the reaction he deserved

    • @mcsjenkins1
      @mcsjenkins1 3 года назад +17

      "Ah" is the response that all the best NMJ jokes get

    • @themilkmon
      @themilkmon 3 года назад +7

      @@mcsjenkins1 "Ah, are we doing prepared work today? I don't mind it, really" - Watto

  • @Chfez6000
    @Chfez6000 3 года назад +2

    This was brilliant

  • @catmannersScaryCatLady
    @catmannersScaryCatLady 3 года назад +10

    Incredible content. Thank you. Over.

  • @adambennett5306
    @adambennett5306 3 года назад

    Bellhop upon the line is always open for a left handed old blue Horn.
    Lovely visiting key

  • @praalgraf
    @praalgraf 3 года назад +5

    i see key has a very dutch interpretation of a coffeeshop

  • @rw4578
    @rw4578 3 года назад +5

    I love you guys so much lol

  • @Toastwig
    @Toastwig 3 года назад +9

    watto’s silent face scrunching stole the show

  • @m_w_a_t
    @m_w_a_t 3 года назад +8

    Bit. Of. Fun.

  • @Peteroranje
    @Peteroranje 3 года назад +3

    Nuisance penguin reporting for duty.....and standing down disappointedly.

  • @iangallears3245
    @iangallears3245 3 года назад +5

    I'd like a Jammy Dodger with my coffee please, but only if it has a heart.

  • @adamhenley8295
    @adamhenley8295 3 года назад +1

    Am tempted to give control over to key - at least he can plan ahead

  • @gladtobeangry
    @gladtobeangry 3 года назад +6

    20 quid for a bag of rotten 18 month old cakes? I'd bite Horne's hand off at that offer. Congratulations on getting married though, Key. I always thought it was odd that a prize catch like you hadn't tied the knot yet.

  • @neilmeadowcroft7569
    @neilmeadowcroft7569 3 года назад +1

    "We don't take cash..." only books for bookshelves

  • @Shift8YawnsShift8
    @Shift8YawnsShift8 3 года назад +5

    I'd love a Belgian bun with no walking required

  • @kathrynrobinson3607
    @kathrynrobinson3607 2 года назад +2

    I’d be up for all of that Key to be fair 😂

  • @freshpickings
    @freshpickings 3 года назад +11

    So, is Haiminh Le a fan of Stardew Valley?😁

  • @RichieHorton
    @RichieHorton 3 года назад +3

    If Horne has them all, do you do biscuits with the coffees?

    • @1969Kismet
      @1969Kismet 3 года назад +3

      How long have you got?

  • @ThomasGiles
    @ThomasGiles 3 года назад +1

    So they gave Mark approximately 5 years to think of something and he still didn't have one ready to go. ;p

  • @Conor2400
    @Conor2400 3 года назад

    I almost skipped this video after realising it wasn't a new round... I'm glad I didn't ...

  • @UnderwurldChris
    @UnderwurldChris 3 года назад +4

    Brilliant use of Stardew Valley music.

  • @xtrapolis954m
    @xtrapolis954m 3 года назад +3

    May I have a Key Lime Pie, please?

  • @slothrr776
    @slothrr776 3 года назад

    What was all that bit about cakes about?

  • @stevej1154
    @stevej1154 3 года назад

    They also have cider, but only Strongbow. Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.

  • @luckynur6670
    @luckynur6670 3 года назад

    hey if I want to contact you for video creation how do I contact you ? because there is no contact that you leave here thanks before

  • @thatsfunnyyourefunny
    @thatsfunnyyourefunny 3 года назад +2

    Key's Cafe: ruclips.net/video/koz_U2T-F5M/видео.html

    • @letXeqX
      @letXeqX 2 года назад

      really good, thanks!

  • @clickastlyindustries3033
    @clickastlyindustries3033 3 года назад

    Joe more knockies wedding cake served by Penelope Pitstop wearing job-gloves.

  • @cassieruddock
    @cassieruddock 3 года назад

    Stardew Valley saloon music!

  • @bearhustler
    @bearhustler 3 года назад +5

    Can you only run a cafe if you're married and have a daughter ?

    • @ym10up
      @ym10up 3 года назад +9

      No, you can run a cafe unmarried but if you want to sell cakes, need wife's approval; if you want to accept cards, need daughter's approval

    • @leona6455
      @leona6455 2 года назад +1

      Just give Horne his cakes for pitys sake

  • @berolizimmi
    @berolizimmi 3 года назад +2

    I can't understand why Key isn't married yet.

    • @pooroldnostradamus
      @pooroldnostradamus Год назад

      The wedlock would just keep becoming loose

    • @occono3543
      @occono3543 4 месяца назад

      All that matters is if he's happy.

  • @MillerMooseMan
    @MillerMooseMan 3 года назад +4

    Where's today's suppliment of No More Jockeys? Surely it's not no more no more jockeys?

  • @amelialikesfrogs5778
    @amelialikesfrogs5778 2 года назад

    is that stardew valley music?

  • @melad1583
    @melad1583 3 года назад +2

    One Key Kake pls

  • @harishkrishnamoorthi5199
    @harishkrishnamoorthi5199 2 года назад

    I...I just came to get a coffee and some cakes

  • @eliramh
    @eliramh 3 года назад

    Did you guys watch taskmaster minnesota yet? It's not only truly excellent, but if you ignore the crappy audio the tasks and contestants are incredible. Maybe you should do a reaction video? Yeah, please do!