When Narcissist Pushes an Empath Too Far This Happens/Lisa Romano
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- Опубликовано: 9 фев 2025
- #narcissist #empath #narcissistpushesempathtoofar This is what happens when a narcissist pushes and empath too far. In this video, you will learn about what it means to be an empath who has finally figured out that their empathy has been taken advantage of by someone with high narcissistic traits.
Empaths often cannot differentiate their feelings from the feelings of others. They absorb the energies of others and find it difficult to hold people accountable. They easily empathize with people who are wounded and feel the most comfortable when believing they can heal others. An empath who has been pushed too far develops wisdom to be able to identify when they have met someone who is an energy vampire. When an empath has been pushed too far, they no longer tolerate others' narcissism.
If you are the adult child of an alcoholic, or if you are the adult child of a narcissist, and you are ready to heal your inner child, visit www.lisaaroman... to learn more about this codependency recovery online program.
It's not you -- it's your programming and with the right tools, you Dear One can reclaim your SELF, and learn to live an empowered life in spite of negative childhood programming.
Thanks for watching, When a Narcissist Pushes an Empath too Far, This Happens
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I hope this doesn't come across wrong. But you are the best female I have found who explains everything very clearly. Coupled with Richard Grannon.
Other females explaining narcissism makes then sound like the narcissist lol. You differentiate the two very well.
Thank you for sharing and offering your support. People like you help the community in a lovely way, by giving them their power back and some sanity to know we are making the right decision.
I think without these videos, we all still be in the same relationships.
Thanks again
Excellent. Do you know ACIM ?
I scored a 3, what a great quiz and it's free too. Thank you Lisa
I don't believe you should just forgive the other person, there is a level of accountability and natural law that requires an equal balance. If this doesn't happen then you give your power away. I believe in forgiving yourself, but no necessarily others for what they did to you.
In time you forget, but that other person should have though about that before they manipulated you. Did they not expect a reaction?
@@russwj
You became a miracle for me today. Let the journey begin. God bless you
After 65 years of hearing " I love you " and watching the behavior of people that say it , I'm glad nobody loves me. I'm nobody and I love me by staying away from you.
Agree…lots of empty words if they do not behave in a loving way
Actions speak louder than words
Well said I agree wholeheartedly Steven.❤Canada 🍁
Getting there now at 50
It is exhausting. They are never satisfied.
So true. That’s my dad and my sister 😢
❤
They're empty. Love you first damn these vampires.
8:25 “A healed empath is a very strong warrior.” I love that
Yes absolutely! And I have come to realize that I am battle hardened.
Hahahaha ❤ 🎉 🤯!!!
Great advice and video. So true. Jeez there's so many wtf 🤔 thinking people.
Was going to say the same thing. It gives hope after the crushing realizations.
Me too!❤ That is empowering.
Seasoned divorce lawyer here. Great video! If you are an empath, please vet very carefully BEFORE you get married. You can’t imagine the human carnage I have seen in divorce court when an empath tries to divorce a narcissist. Stay safe out there!
Yeah my son is exploiting me right now I am very upset about that as I say at hand I want to go aback
Slash and burn. Narcs have no limit to their wrath if you dump them after they get caught cheating. Fairness is a word they don't know. They'll try to take everything, including your kids, livelihood, reputation, past and future. You will pay dearly for loving a psychonarc.
I divorced my wife of forty years because I thought she didn't love me. This is the biggest mistake of my life. I love you Julie and I miss you everyday. 😘
@@ROD852 🥺
Going through this right now, over 2 years trying to divorce him! It’s a nightmare that won’t seem to end.
So true. I am an empath who thought people are inherently good and have been so disappointed to find that so many people are so evil. It’s heartbreaking really.
I know EXACTLY what you mean.
I find that most are simply lazy, selfish, and/or fearful (the non narcissist).
You aren’t an empathetic person if you are surprised by how horrible people really are.
everyone is the hero in their own story. I used to believe that people who did hurtful things couldn’t sleep at night. It was devastating to realize that they slept fine because they didn’t see who they really are while I was up stressed about things I didn’t even cause!
I can't believe I didn't want to see for so long. It's scary out there now. These people have no conscience.
I was married to a narcissist and had 3 children with him. I thought I could “fix” him. I’m now married to a fellow empath and it’s SO refreshing. We have zero issues. If I get stupid, he helps me. If he gets stupid, I help him. No emotion battles.
I can relate.
In my heart I honestly believe anyone can be reached with Enough love and compassion.
I suppose it's possible that i'm wrong.
@@MultipleGrievance When dealing with narcissism, you should know that it’s not personal. “It isn’t personal ' is one of those cliches used to cushion all kinds of bad actions taken by people who need an out for being immoral, but in this case it's truth. Narcs don’t know how to love; they can’t afford to spare the energy to learn, because they’re always in a state of high emergency, cataloging potential threats and redoubling their defenses. When they claim to love you, it means nothing. They may even think they mean it, but they don’t understand the concept - they can’t feel it. They never attach to you or anyone else. Other people are paper cut-outs to the narcissist, like those cardboard figures of celebrities you pose next to for a selfie. Narcissists value their own children only as mirrors of themselves. Loads of them brag about being a good parent and seek compliments for that only to hide their masks. When they destabilize you or attack you, it means nothing.
They are stuck in an endless conversation with themselves, in which you are an inanimate object, to be assigned their own faults and used as a surrogate punching bag for their hatred of themselves. When they toss you out, it’s no more meaningful than a junkie tossing away a needle; when they try to reel you back in, it only means that they tired of the new drug and need a hit of the old.
None of this is personal.
They’re too terrified to have close personal relationships, opting instead for extraction of admiration from a subservient partner whose range of action they strictly constrain. This is not personal. None of it. The narcissist does not know who you are - it doesn’t know how to know other people. Like the vampire or the chainsaw-wielding creature in the horror film, it’s from another world, bereft of the concept of human connection. .
@@MultipleGrievance What you fail to realize is The ONLY way to the Light, is by facing all the inner darkness.. Narcissists are all darkness inside, they will do anything to avoid completely facing it hence their need for 'control' via their ego-mind. They are fear and shame based and can never face it head on. They're in endless misery and choose to make others' lives just asmiserable as them, they do not want to experience the heavens, they only want to drag others down to their hells. .... " The Ego seeks control because it lives in Fear ' - Jiddu Krishnamurti
@@MultipleGrievance What you fail to realize is The ONLY way to the Light, is by facing all the inner darkness.. Narcissists are all darkness inside, they will do anything to avoid completely facing it hence their need for 'control' via their ego-mind. They are fear and shame based and can never face it head on. They're in endless misery and choose to make others' lives just asmiserable as them, they do not want to experience the heavens, they only want to drag others down to their hells. ....
@@MultipleGrievance "The Ego-mind seeks control because it lives in fear ' - Jiddu Krishnamurti
Im an empath. That being said, when a narcissist pushes me too far, all hell breaks loose and they lose because empathy isnt my only skill. Nuff said.
Owned. I feel you on this one!
So well said. I was physically, mentally abused and my life was controlled by this TOXIC sick individual.
Never have I in my entire life had to physically defend myself.
With this sick individual I started handing out the same punishment and it was always I that lifted my hands first according to her.
I am an EMPATH but had enough, to my biggest regret I had had Enough.
I was always wrong and shr was always right.
Since being on my own and she has left, their are still scars but I am on the road to healing.
😂 love this 🎉
I always told my ex when he said I was an angry person....anger is a gift... especially to an empath who is being manipulated.
@@Drteomas I get that. I wasn't in it for years a mine, but I was so angry at being treated like I didn't matter that I thought the same. But the anger I had made me leave him. While anger isn't pretty, it is a sign that something isn't right. From my sexually abusive childhood, I used to just take it and be depressed. Now I get angry if I'm being used. Trust me, for an empath, anger is a gift.
"Narcissists will fear the healed empath, because they can see through them."
🤞🏾
They get so evil & ugly 🖤 In the legalities @ the moment, NO CONTACT! IN REPENTANCE for allowing this demon into my life. GOD Forgive me! Don't ever allow a man who's NOT of GOD into your life!!! HEALING in GOD'S FAVOR ...
Thank you JESUS for saving me 💕 I can rest Peacefully @ nights 🌙 🙏🏾 😌
Very true
And we sure see through them!!
This is true 100%%%%%%
Your videos are all resonating strongly with me. I have been described in the past as "a mega-empath". My ex-wife, although not a narcissist herself (a mild one) was manipulated by a mega-narcissist. This has ties to my role here as a C-O, because her manipulator became an empty vessel as her manipulator's person was "taken over" with full intentions of destroying me. The opportunity to assume control of the manipulator arose after the manipulator herself wished her own life to end (she was the victim of a husband who physically abused her) and that soul weakness/fracture enabled infiltration and control of the manipulator. So my wife's family didn't start out bad. But they became infiltrated due to weakness they created within their own family. Now, returning to the tangible and shrewdly useful, your videos are a breath of fresh air because you have fused - most appropriately, subtly and aesthetically - the spiritual with the psychological. I believe this is the way forward for psychology and philosophy. I am excited about the lines that have been laid down by Nietzsche, Heidegger and Jung, and the verisimilitude of the spiritual world will allow us to build from tangible frameworks. I see the future of free inquiry in the world in this way. It gives me great pleasure to detect this flavor out in your works, which are in fact helping me and restoring ordered to my traumatized mind following the betrayal landmine I stepped on last Dec 17. Much gratitude to you. Very exciting times.
If you are an empath that gets hurt repeatedly by narcissists, you can take on narcissistic traits to protect yourself, and wind up resenting yourself for it
Exactly what has happened to me and I do resent myself haha! Not to mention I'm angry at myself for getting snowed when I should have known better. Good luck to you!
I'm experiencing this , it's a struggle to overcome thjs
So true
I heard the term "narcissistic fleas" one time and it really resonated with me. I was feeling SOOO much shame for reflecting those behaviors out of desperation to be seen or heard. I hate those traits in myself so much and it was making me question my sanity (hello narcissistic abuse and gaslighting). I really had to examine myself and say, "What was here before that I need to work on, and what started cropping up after 10+ years of betrayal, crazymaking and being lied to right to my face?"
Yes…it happened to me because my mother is a narcissistic bully like my ex-husband for about 2 months and went back to therapy and found myself again….
My covert narc pushed me too far. She lied. She minimized her abuse. She gaslight me. I got fed up. I have been no contact for years. It feels good to get toxic people out of my life.
This hit close to home
I’m using my moms cell , I’m a Hispanic male 49 years old , and God I need help and a community to help me with the emotional support !!! It’s soo real how this came to my life so late … Narcissistic abuse is soo knew to me 5 years into learning this and it’s been crazy hard to start my life … if any one has support groups in the U.S.. we’re tangibly one can meet up or just be in support groups …?
Been there brother .
@Divine Retribution Of course.
Boy I only wish. I got kids with this toxic.
Growing up with a narcissistic parent kept me from understanding my own boundaries, and it wasn't until I ended a relationship with a narcissist that I found the strength to start understanding myself instead of just blaming myself for anything I perceived as wrong.
I'm living in a house free of narcissistic abuse, and... I've noticed a few changes that can't be overstated.
The meltdowns have stopped. The crushing self-hate has stopped. I feel like my voice is in the same reality as those around me. The only thing I struggle with now is... well.. how to handle silence.
Same for me. It's so hard when one of your parents is a narcissist. You don't know what normal is, and gravitate towards the familiar - that's why we end up with narcissistic partners.
So glad you've broken free!! I have as well. When I started dating someone "normal" it freaked me out for a good while. He had to earn my trust. Now all is wonderful.
I wish you the best!! 🩵
Same. My ex and mother are narcissist and it felt like home to be with him
Silence is beautiful
See the beautiful of life for what it is,
A chance to heal.
I have a similar experience. After a narc relationship with an ex, I learned. I figured it out. Something still wasn't right. I figured out my mom was a covert narc. I realized that all my life I had been manipulated. I was enmeshed with her. So, I became authentic. Set boundaries. She didn't know how to deal with me because she cant get me to react to her. I don't react to her provocation. I don't react emotionally to her circular and vague arguments. Now my mom is complaining that I've changed. She actually told me I wasn't allowed in her house until I changed my behavior, started agreeing with her, and let her discipline and direct my children to do chores because she didn't agree with my methods.
sadly, the awakening can take decades to unfold. but once out of the fog, there's no turning back. An enlightened empath is a beautiful and powerful person. game over, narcissist.
Yes I had awakening at 49 left my toxic husband at 55, I’m 20 months free it’s game over for these toxic people, I thank God for removing me from there, peace and freedom is priceless!
@@lillybam6359 thank you! I needed to hear this today!! God is real good!!!🙏🏻❤️
Yes exactly 💯!!!!! What I just woke up to last week and it happens just like that
Hell yeah. I'm an empowered empath warrior... I'm a No- Narc zone
😂
It is a crushing blow to realize that monsters are real. Realizing that not only have we been in a relationship with a narcissist but we were raised by one. It is disturbing to look around and realize how many narcissists were already in our lives. Standing up to the bullies in our lives feels like David and Goliath. God has most definitely carried me through a lot. He has saved me more times than I can count. Thank you Lisa for all of your help and compassion. ❤️🙏
❤❤❤
I feel you. I'm trapped living with mine. I can barely stand being here, but I have no choice in the matter at the moment. I just got back from trying to get away and I cannot tell you how absolutely disgusted I am because she's now in that creepy "hoovering" mode where she's being grossly sweet to me. Not because she's happy I'm back but because she's infuriated that I took my son, her muscle, away from her in an attempt to save us and she's afraid I'll do it again. Any ideas on how to get past this oogie feeling? I've just been spending a very limited amount of time with her in order to keep myself sane but now I feel like I live in a black hole. I loathe feeling this way. I've only recently found God, so this has been quite a challenge for me. It's hard to honor a mother who is wholly dishonorable. However, I think what God meant about honoring our parents is in OUR personal honor and love of God, our true Father, regardless of our human parentage. Not by our literally taking care of people who clearly could care less about us and have bad intentions towards us and hate God to boot. The bible shows that God finds this behavior repulsive. Anyway, good luck to you. I'll pray for your situation. I hope you'll pray for mine. :) Oops. I forgot. Christianity doesn't require reciprocation. No if's needed. Newbie. 😇
@@Sngbrd1001 hay we are not an island and being a christian or christ follower doesn't mean we don't have needs and it's ok to ask for help or prayer that is what the family of God does and I'll pray for you .🙏
@@tammyhoushour8070 Thank you! I was finally able to get away from that situation. I now live about 3 hours away. She won't have anything to do with me any longer, which is fine with me. The meltdown I dealt with upon telling her we found an out just 3 hours away from her was horrific. The screaming Mimi was ENRAGED, hitting my car, hitting me, screaming that I was the one who had bi-polar disorder when I told her she had NPD. I asked her if she felt she had any responsibility for us leaving after she'd kicked us out at least 4 times. She said yes, but when I asked her what, she said "I don't know", which means she didn't feel any responsibility for her appalling behavior and constantly kicking us out. Of course, the next morning would have her realizing that she'd just kicked out her "help" who was taking her up on her demanded eviction, so the hoovering would commence, acting like she never told us to leave in the first place. Of course, she would never acknowledge her part in any of what had occurred. I was the unreasonable one in the aftermath for simply doing what she demanded. 4 TIMES. She was getting more violent with every incident, which was getting more frequent and with the new threats from her husband about calling the cops on ME when SHE was the one hitting me, I knew it was only a matter of time before either my son or me would end up in jail accused of elder abuse, an accusation that would be made up in her head and relayed to a police officer with no thought of the danger she'd be putting her own child or grandson in with her lies. It was safer for us to leave.
I was subjected to 2 of these monsters growing up. I'm amazed I'm as sane as I am most days. Anyway, thank you again for your encouraging words. They were much appreciated.
I can totally sympathize with you. My story is similar without any children (blessing). These unregulated behaviours from people with NPD suffer horribly within themselves and will never change! I dream of the day when I can finally be free. Proud of you that you got away from her. They have no idea how their abuse destroys lives. Keep your faith and never give up hope in your prayers. Wish you the very best!
100% accurate. Healing has been such a long journey. So many times I have helped and helped. Or walk into a store. Random people walk up to me and start telling me their life story. It’s such an interesting thing. I’m no longer letting a narcissist come towards me. Red flags are getting thrown down ASAP. Bicycle!!
A destructive narcissist never becomes self aware, therefore, he will never change.
YES!! I am 61 years old, married to a CLASSIC Narcissist for 41 years 9 months and 9 days and filed for divorce! He didn’t talk to me for 3 days because he didn’t like the steering wheel cover I bought for my car and raged at me at 5 AM because I “didn’t even THINK to take a cup of coffee in to him.”. NO MORE!
Good for you! Sending you strength! What you’ve done-and what you will do-is AMAZING!
Hi Terri,
I am 62 years old, married 38 years of a 45 year relationship, and I too, have recently filed for divorce.
I've been working on myself since my awakening 3 years ago, and I have found a peace I have never felt in my entire life.
Lisa A Romano has been a Godsend to people like us, and we are blessed we finally "woke up" and started our journey back to who we were meant to be.
I commend you because I know it is a difficult journey, but you should be so proud of yourself.
I'm proud of you, just like I'm proud of myself.
Although there is more life behind us than in front of us, I know the future years are filled with love, peace, and joy.
God Bless You.
Right on!!! You've reached your limit 💚💛💚💛💚💛
@@jeaniepiper6740
Yes, you are!
What a beautiful day learning about others that were blessed to wake up to the reality of this insidious disorder.
So happy for you Jeanie!
Congratulations, happy for you!!
my god, im 41 years old With a good deal of introspection. I have never heard anyone explain this to me. Hundreds of videos on narcissist's watched .I did not expect to hear anything new by now. But you just blew my mind. Thank you
Ikr, it's just so spot on!
64-yr old woman, divorced twice. 100 percent recovering empath. Never felt so empowered. I’m living proof that it’s never too late! Thank you!
Long as we draw breath we can heal and grow. This vid so resonates and explains a lot of my life and connections, learning boundaries at 6th decade is a challenge. Praying for youngers to learn sooner than me.
Thank you for this post. I'm 61 years old and just beginning the divorce process. Don't know how to find an attorney who knows exactly what it's like.
@@kimberlyestes3978 not sure where you live, but my daughter is an attorney in Washington State. She gave me the best advice ever!
I'm a 62 year man divorce twice am also a recovering empath. I feel your pain. But finding a lot of hope as well. I know God ain't done with me. Sometimes we have setbacks. But that's life sometimes. Sure enjoyed the video and comments. Hope is good.
Twice failed? You may not be the empath you think you are. Sorry.
Beautifully said....As an Empath I seem to attract narcissists...personally and professionally..took me decades to come to terms with this....and now live alone totally happy...I live 2 lives ...1 in the world that I can just about cope with . And 1 at home where I am blissfully happy alone ✨😊🙏
I don't think it is you at all. 😊 Narcissists gravitate towards an Empath. Because they "SIFT" thru the people, that are around them, and they move on when they are rebuffed by stronger personalities (they cannot get what they are after). They eventually then find someone with a Empathic personality trait(s) (loves to help/heal and loves to give) and they park themselves there. Like a vampire looking for a victim, or a starving person where there is free food. Feed to they are full, but they WON'T move on because they just get all that they want, and its never enough. When you leave/try to leave they manipulate in any order that works to keep you around. So its really tough to leave... especially when "Love bombing" starts
@@ghiggins4023 good point… And I would not disagree… I would also add that a fully healed Empath is an extremely strong personality and definitely not to be messed with…😀. And eventually they will no longer attract narcissistic people to them…….
But you’re not “alone.” There are plenty of us out there… doing *exactly* what you described. I’d say there’s a strong possibility you are Aspergian as well. Cheers!
I can relate to being alone it's way more peaceful !!! Right now im living with people its not easy kne of them has dementia or Alziemer's and she can be brutal.. ❤
Hang in there.
I think there is nothing more beautiful and empowered 💓 than a woman in her 50s who is a healwd empath. They are usually the warmest funniest and most shining gems this world has to offer. 💎
☺️☺️☺️
Any person can drain you if you got no boundaries. They don't have to be a narcissist.
You obviously are a narcissist
UP TO A POINY, I AGREE, WHAT IS CALLED, SOME ARE PUSHING THEIT LUCK A BIT, TOO FAR. ANY KIND OF A PERSON COULD DO THAT. THAT'S WHYI AGREE.
well, those who push other people around are not good people either, narcissistic or not.. I can't imagine doing that, even if someone was super easy too push around, if you are a good person it would just feel to shitty.
Also A narcissistic person just does this a lot more and with zero empathy all the while feeling completely justified in getting these things from you.
But I agree we should all take responsibility for protecting our own boundaries, but also be kind to ourselves, a lot of people grow up without this knowledge, and have to learn through abusive relationships and a lot of inner work. In the end I believe that once empathic people, learn about all this stuff and live through it, we have such a deeper understanding and awareness for all of this,, then people who always had this or learned it in childhood.
Happened with my Mom.
She is Bipolar and narcissistic.
I’m an extreme empath.
It was hell. The acceptance and realization of her never changing was pain.
@Iamnothingness, I am dealing with the same situation, you are not alone.
Me too. My daughter (Bipolar and narcissistic) is using her daughter (my 6 month old granddaughter) as a hostage in our relationship. 😢
You are NOT 🚫⛔🚫 NOTHING!!!! I UNDERSTAND YOU, I wish to talk to you on video chat, because we deserve TO BE LOVED AND SUPPORTED AND NOT ABUSED!!!
I'd like to talk to you, I have a bipolar narcissist mom as well. I'm 37 and a few days ago was the final time I let my Mom play her games with me and my wife. I think we have a lot in common, I'd like to learn from you and hopefully help you heal too. No hard feelings if you're not interested. ❤
@@laurencastillo9741 same, both parents.
Anyone else having vivid early childhood memories (starting at 2 years or younger) of traumatic (and some happy) moments, that you are told "you can't have those that young". By the gaslighting family mostly, tfw they realise you actually remember all the spankings and other stuff they rather you not remember.
I'm so broken. I'm so tired of fighting for myself. I have spent my whole life trying to help people and now I'm just broken.
I feel the same way. I have become a hermit.
Come back to the world don’t let them win ❤ shine bright
It's not too late
Try to get some help or therapy and move on 🎉
But don't repeat those lessons again and again after learning lesson
@Jasmin6Aathviha I had to quit therapy for now, but I'm back in the Bible and moving forward. Still don't know how to fix my situation, but I'm working on me.
If there’s one place you can go to get help and feel a little better… it’s a room full of empaths.
I know how broken you feel. Nobody really understands until they’re standing face to face with a real, true, legitimate narcissist. It’s the most heart crushing thing you’ll ever experience to realize that some people don’t love anything… not people, children, animals… nothing.
BUT… you will be okay… if you’re careful. Retreating and not helping people is not the answer. That will hurt you too. You are a natural helper. You just have to take it in the right direction and pay attention.
I now have “tests” before I get too involved with someone. It’s all about noticing what’s going on. You HAVE to know the signs of being devalued and listen when your body/mind/spirit is telling you something is wrong. You have to be willing to walk away at that point. Don’t give a benefit of the doubt right now. Don’t. You can let someone back in ONLY when they have legitimately made real, tangible, measurable changes to themselves and their lives.
You also need to work on the unconscious cues you’re throwing out. People are picking up on something in you. My ex-narc described it as “you would let anyone take a sh*t on your face as long as it meant they would love you.” Yes, he really said that. The work to undo that is much harder than noticing the bad around you. One thing you have to do… is separate your NATURE from your VALUE. Often empaths derive their value from their nature… “I have value because I’m understanding, kind, helpful, etc.” No! You have value because you are human. Because you are a person. Being those things is in ADDITION to you having value. At some point you were probably trained to believe (by a narc parent) that you only had value when someone else was getting something. You’re not alone, that happened to me too. You have value because you have value… period.
Now… let me throw on a light for you. Are you even interested in people who don’t need your help? Like, really think about it. If we’re all honest, 9 out of 10 empaths would say no. Because they don’t NEED you. Those people will be okay without you. So you naturally pull in every narcissist around you. You are seeking the narcissist as much as the narcissist is seeking you. And, the minute you realize that, everything changes. You WANT to endlessly help people, and the only people who accept endless help… are narcissists. No normal person does that. So, this comes back to your value. You want to help people because you’re one of the few truly capable of that kind of help. You want to use what you value in yourself, to bring value to the world around you. But… because you don’t value YOU, the human part, you allow people to destroy what you don’t value so that you can continue to dole out what you do value.
This is hard work, but you can do it. It’s not too late, they haven’t taken everything yet. If you don’t believe in yourself yet… I believe in you. And, I value you, no matter what you’re good at. ❤️
Wow!! I have to write this. Before I left the narcissist who is my ex-boyfriend, I toldhim excitedly, "I'm SO HAPPY I met you!!" And he smiled because he thought I was giving hima compliment. Then I said, "Because I've realized how much I love myself!!!!!!!!!"
Love it!!
🤣
They will crazy 😂 they not value
Which is kinda narcisistic as well, just sayin’.
I agree. "When the narc pushes the empath to the end of their rope, the empath turnes the empathy to themselves". That's what happened to me. I now try to take good care of myself, and be empath to myself. I need to learn how to better protect myself against my narc boss.
Additionally, other people usually do not appreciate the help, but in return try to use you, because they think that you are weak. It is waste of time, energy and life to try to heal others. They need to heal themselves. I need to fight my urge to help others.
Yup, fighting the urge to help feels unnatural, but self care is important!
It's true, you give people an inch and they take a mile. I'll still try to help people bc I think it's what we should all do, but I have learned to set up boundaries.
Perfectly stated. Thank you.
Could not be more true!!! It's hard, I've been trying to work on that stuff too..
@@lawyerreactsnotthemoon85 What started to work for me was to hold on before I say "YES" to everything that people ask me for. Sometimes I take a deep breath and think "Will that action be detrimental to me in any way"? Or if they want immediate response I say "let me figure it out, let me check my calendar, let me think about it, let me come back to you about it, etc" to give myself more time to analyze it, and better prepare how to say "No". Also I live my life in a way to never rely on anyone, so I don't ask people for anything unless there is an absolute emergency. This way it is easier for me to say no whenever they come to me with stuff that they could do themselves. I also distance myself from obvious users, they will never change and I don't need that in my life. It took me many years to figure it all out, and I still sometimes stumble. Best of luck.
Yes! Once we see the disgusting behavior, I do not want to even look at let alone talk to them. It’s sad and gross that someone can be that predatory. Lord please protect those who are fearful of this behavior. God will protect you.
THANK YOU 😊 ❤
My ex husband I believe is a sociopath/psychopath. Married for 12 years. He had an affair, I stayed. I tried so hard for 4 years to repair our marriage. He ended up leaving me anyway, replaced me very quickly, divorced me very quickly as well.
I’ve been completely shattered since that affair, it’s been 5 years now. I feel like I’ve lost that beautiful gift of being a deep Empath. I’m so numb internally. I keep trying to heal without relief. I haven’t dated yet either, it’s been a year since he left me. I don’t want to continue living this way, I want to feel again. Isolation, no friends at all, my family believes I should be over it by now, had a few therapists that just don’t understand so I gave up that route. I miss my passion, my compass, my desire, my motivation, my purpose, my mind, my self. This emptiness is so consuming. I’ve tried spiritual healing as well. I just want me back 😢💔 So lost, so shattered.
Imagine if it was 24, 48 yrs dealing with him cheating on you
Everyday consider yourself a winner, not a victim. You are a winner because you left him, because he divorced you, because he replaced you. You are a winner because he doesn't cheat on you anymore, because now he will cheat on someone else. You are a winner because you are free from him and you are free, and you have the rest of your life ahead of you. If you continue to be a victim, he will be the winner. It is for you to decide if you want to continue to be a victim, or start being a winner. It is up to you to take the trophy from him and enjoy the rest of your life. Good luck.
You have nothing to do with his Evil
Stay true & know you are precious.
Keep listening to you tube! Talk to your friends. I’ve been married 27 years with 4 kids and with multiple affairs out of country prostitution and still I wanted to fix him. As I was dying inside. I finally filled for divorce 6 months ago as he keep pushing me to decide. I just found out he has had a girlfriend for 7 months! My life was a Shattered mess as he claimed he had changed. In one of my classes I learned God dammit fight for yourself. Get up !! Wake up. Time will heal. But get healthy for you. 💔💔
Please be kind to yourself. How your husband treated you is truly mind boggling. This kind of severe trauma can make you feel like you've been completely gutted. Hang in there. In time you will be able to process through all of your emotions. You will heal. You are a the clear winner here. You brought everything good with you. He's an idiot.
I'm an INFP empath who knows what the narcissist is up to but have tended to overlook their selfishness and shortcomings this only leads to sadness and pain, it's taken me 64 years to get it but never again, boundaries are the secret weapon.
I’m also INFP empath with master life number 11 😅 it’s tough out here for us. God bless you ❤
@@chosenneverforsaken INFJ here. :)
INFP. Empath here too. I can relate 100%.
And if you’re raised to have any, it’s very hard to understand boundaries.
INFP Empath who struggles with the same.
She is so right .
My identity was stolen here on YT etc. Some people really are so Ashamed of who they are. They twist thier malignant behaviors on others.
Really needed this, Lisa. I'm grieving the loss of a 'friendship' that took me too long to recognize as toxic. A confrontation days ago left me so shocked and shaken , that I was forced to realize that when someone shows you (many times over in this case) who they are, BELEIVE THEM. (Also, everyone told me she was like this and I was in denial...)
Big hugs to you 🤗💞🤗
Hang in there. Frenemies are a real thing. It hurts to break up with them, but it is very beneficial in the long run. It hurts less in time.
You will make it through this.
@@kg2096 thanks so much 🤗
@@solangelatour8941 thank you 💐
Listening to this makes me realize how I've become an empath and just how empathetic I am. It also helps me to realize how often I've been gaslit during arguments that I supposedly have zero empathy when I'm the only one expressing empathy in the equation.
They're good @ twisting the truth! These videos are so authentic & informative! Thank you for helping to keep us SANE!
Yes.
🎉😢🎉🎉😅
🎉😢🎉
Yes!!! Especially when they Stay accusing you of treating them badly but in reality your giving them nothing but empathy... Its exhausting
This is so accurate that it's painful.😢 I am thankful that I'm finally on the journey to healing.
Isn't it? Omg! She is speaking my life.🙏Blessins to you.❤
@@bettinarossi7908 and to you as well! 💗
Same here! 🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽
Exactly! It is like she is reading my life! God Bless you and keep you safe.🙏❤
@@naomiverdugo2180 thank you, and you as well! ❤️
“Galvanized”. This is a perfect word. It took 15 years to get to the point of acknowledging the Narcissistic sadistic behavior. One statement from him broke the spell. My mind went completely into a mode of END THIS NOW!! I’m galvanized!😊
Thats great, I bet he said something awful. Shot himself in the foot.
Wow thank you for sharing this. So you mind sharing what that one sentence was for you?
What was the one statement?
@@KatinaLifeCoach4444 wow your on this channel too? SUPER SMALL WORLD
@@Omeda.S.Yapah.S.TheKOS heyyyy Yapah!!!!
I woke up at age 60 and realized, as the scapegoat, that the price of remaining quiet was too high. I don’t put up with anything from my 7 siblings anymore. I have listened to their dissertations on how awful I am and what is wrong with me my whole life. I have thrown it back to each and every one of them. They can dish it out, but can’t take it. I have no respect for any of them. I told them I know who they are and I am not afraid of them. They have anger or are childlike. But, I have overriding anger too and told them I need apologies. Of course, they will not be forthcoming.
Omg 7 sibling here too but not all of them narcissists
I don't need nor want apologies. I am DONE. None of them will get another crack at me. 😂
I hear you. As the 10th of 11, I'm no 10 miles removed emotionally 😢😮. Thanks for sharing 😅❤
Thank you, Lisa. It took to my 40s to discover I was surrounded by a narcissistic family and I was an empath scapegoat.. definitely didn't know what boundaries meant until my 40s. Love listening to you.
I’m an empath and this happened to me. I had a rude awakening to the people and world around me. You’re spot on.
100% same here.
You're not the only one. It's mind boggling but honestly these are no longer humans to me they're monsters
I'm caregiver for my elderly mother and special needs brother. Sister bullied mom out of family home then out of locked gate community. And has a lock on mother's money from the gated community and will not let her touch it. My mother cries every morning says she thinks she's going to die. Yes she's a monster.
I am an empath and your so right...Wish id of known before...I lost 35 pounds before i woke up but now im back thank you
Its a real shocker to learn late in life,.others dont see things the same. ❤
This happened a few weeks ago. The lying, character assassination, harassment and other abuse finally all clicked in my head and it’s over and that’s for the best. They are a disgusting person and I hope karma does not miss them.
Karma doesn't exist unfortunately....These people keep getting away with hurting others. And the hurts have to take years to recover
@@incognito3599
Start seeing who is a reptilian ( narcissist) and whos a human ( empath, or partial empath )
@@incognito3599
My dad and mom always argued .
I had to always
Get them to resolve it or somehow, had to deal with that terror. I knew my dad was mostly right, and mom didn't want to agree with him. She should have said yes, you're right , to him.
This unbelievable conflict
In the house constantly
Made me an empath. I saw the drama happening and knew to survive , to some extent I had to do something. So,, not a safe house. Danger could happen, at any moment.
@@incognito3599 I respectfully disagree. Karma does exist but most people don't understand what it actually is or how it works.
literally saw my ex transform into serpent @@Designer_TopG
I’m going through all of this right now in my life. 35 years old I just woke and the chain of events was spot on to this video. Finally broke away from the narcissist but no without some major obstacles. The way I feel now even after all the pain and crazy situations, trumps anything I’ve ever experienced.
I am in the final steps of separating my life from my abusive narcissistic mother. Videos like these definitely help.
Me too. Both my parents. It’s been a struggle. Yet I’m happier. But I’m sad. I feel it’s easier when it’s a relationship. Family is hard. I’m struggling but I need this. It’s so confusing. I hate them. But miss them but I don’t. I was exhausted. Couldn’t take it no more. Plus they tried to steal 50k from me. You think it wouid be easy right? But I been beat up since a kid I feel so uneasy and it’s hard to be assertive even when I’m so abused
You both are doing the Absolutely BEST THING POSSIBLE And the hardest thing you will ever do.
I'm two years out and can honestly say- It is SOOOO WORTH IT!!
The sad never totally goes away, I don't think, but the New Happy you feel far outweighs the memories, or really, the dream of what Could have been.
Reality Rocks❤
Keep It Moving!
Give It Time and You'll be fine❤
I did it 9 months ago, broke the trauma bond and it is peaceful and amazing!!! Better than I could have imagined!
Good luck honey, I went no contact at 46 then caved at 55. At 59 she was still trying to make me her carer...I fled the country!
The best weapon against this and vampires is self awareness/realization and central grounding to the planet, that is your main fortress, how you protect it is by setting up internal rules on what comes in and what goes out as well as imagining the shield around you. Its life, and some things are not, avoid rather than engage if possible, walk away when you can and don't let negatives rent your brain-space.
I had hit bottom. Severe anxiety and depression. Told by my narc wife of 25 years that i need to relax and not worry so much because it was interfering with her vacation time... Through years of therapy, intense work, cbt, and medication i figured out how much I was giving and it was never going to be enough. I started saying no to my narc wife and she divorced me after 25 years. I am the Phoenix you described. I'm powerful, happy, smart, strong, and so very grateful for those who helped me understand.
@marcscsiwcom Beautiful.👍🏾😊💜
Very happy for you.🙏
I've realized I can immediately tell when he's lying now. He became violent and it's like a switch flipped. I can differentiate fact from fiction with so much clarity now.
This was beautifully said. After my “relationship” with a monster narcissist, I really didn’t take crap from anyone. I set my boundaries and still stand to them so I’d never get stuck where I was before.
❤ this is the exact reason we encounter these individuals.
can I ask you how old your brain is ? 25 ? more or less , thx
My ex gf of 11 years was a major narcissist who actually set up my sexual assault after cheating on me and breaking my heart. Ever since then I've kept my boundaries and stick to them for good. Glad to learn this lesson now
The empath is overwhelmed by the narcissist’s mental abuse and emotional abuse and verbal abuse. Thank You GOD for Lisa’s RUclips Videos. Thank You Lord! 🙏✝️
Perfectly stated - "is overwhelmed" - that is a true effect. Sometimes you question yourself, as the culprit. Once you "see the light" it will be a clear as day.
Us empaths projected ourselves on others until we realize we are empaths!
This video has explained what I have been feeling for months now. I am finally healed and I take NO narcissistic prisoners. I have two narcissistic coworkers who work symbiotically. What they thought they saw was a kind, friendly and seemingly weak, pliable woman. They’re finding out that I am a fierce warrior who protects her peace at all costs. No screaming. No cursing. No arguments. No gossiping. It’s the pleasant attitude. The steadiness. The eye contact. The strength of my convictions and the calmness that shakes them to the core. Thank you, Lisa.
You will. Keep doing the work. Listen to the videos. Apply what you have learned. It won’t happen overnight. It took years for me to get here. There will be setbacks as well as wins. There will be days when you feel defeated. Keep fighting. One day you’ll realize you’re experiencing more wins than losses. Keep going. Soon you’ll see them for the weak, pathetic, shells of human beings. Soon you’ll laugh at there childish machinations. Keep going my friend. Keep fighting. You will come out on the other side and when you do….it will be amazing. 🙏🏾🤗💪🏾
🙏🙏🙏
You go roar over their morning coffee 🎉
Love this. Struggling with a coworker, who I believe is a covert. The experience has put me through some sort of “shut down” that is also giving me clarity on what I experienced my whole life.
@@LoverofLife863
Good job amour.
This lady speaks the truth so elequently, I'm an empath who tolerated a narcissist for twenty two years. I still feel sympathy for her although I will no longer tolerate her. I care for her soul, not that I'm overly religious but part of me thinks, why couldn't this false person just have been themselves, I would still have loved and protected them. That sounds sad but it is what it is. Moving on and feeling better, less drama. Incidentally that's what they accused me of doing, projection. Thanks Lisa
❤️
I love your comment. I love to see it written in black and white if they were authentic you would have still loved and protected them and although I don't know you it means a lot to see this written because if you feel this way it makes me feel its possible other empaths would feel this way. You're truly a wonderful person.
@@alcudiababe1 thank you Twitchy, lovely comment, really appreciated. I like everyone have my faults. Devasted having discovered the true person I married. Will always love them and that allows me to move on. Love is not a transaction, its patient and kind and is not judgemental. Took a heart attack to arrive at this realisation. Don't carry hate or revenge, that will consume you, you take care, good to talk.
@@shaunduffy861 oh yeah of course everyone has their faults but as long as someone can be authentic and doesn't lie to you you're off to a good start in a relationship. I'm sure you will make any woman happy and lucky to be with you.
That's exactly how I feel about the man I'm in love with. I know I need to let him go but I keep seeing his sad, childlike eyes in my mind. Then I remember the switch, where his eyes go from sad and blue to evil and black, his face morphing into a dark, sinister stranger and that smug, almost satisfied smirk on his face when he eventually breaks my steely resolve and I crumble into a broken, sobbing mess.
He is so lost and so broken, I can't heal him. I can't be the hero in his story and save that little boy that didn't deserve what happened to him. Because he already has a saviour. His false self. And he is a sadistic, mean, calculated and demonic psycho who hates me and wants me suffering and/or dead.
The little boy is trapped behind this entity. And there is nothing I can do to get him away from his guard dog.
Just blew my whole mind. Felt like no one else would ever understand how it felt to walk into a room and just 'know'. Makes you feel crazy trying to explain this to others. ❤ Great video! Tysm 🎉
This actually had me laughing out loud 😂 it resonated so strongly!
I came out of a truly brutal narcissistic relationship at the end of last year, one that pushed me past my limit.
It has given me the opportunity to heal my own childhood trauma and also realise that the vast majority of my relationships have been with narcissists.
The last being the absolute worst, but also exactly what I needed to finally wake up and learn who I am
Thank you so much for this video, amazing!
Same! I love your positive attitude. We're led to people, places and events that help us to heal. 😊
This feels like the most exciting description of what happens between empaths and narcissists without the negative aspect of it all. This video describes the awesome qualities of a healing empath and how they become differentiated and self galvanized once they fully step into their own healing awareness. Lisa nails it all in this video. Where would we be without Lisa Romano? She is our healer. We are so blessed.
This is your BEST EVER VIDEO Lisa. This is everything. I identify as being the galvanized human. I have come so far from a direct result of your coaching. You are amazing.
Yes Lisa We deeply appreciate you
@@she_bop111 agreed! And congratulations! She has helped SO MUCH!
Every time she talks, it's like she's in my head
Jeez Lisa... you are so smart and so beautiful. 🙂 Many people have told me I'm an empath... but I get an internal energy from helping others when they are down. That positive feeling overrides any abuse I take because of my lack of boundaries. My therapist sees that and is helping me especially with targeting boundaries and impulsivity. 2023 was a pivotal year for me... I am finally getting it. The result? So much more peace. Keep rockin' the great content!
❤❤❤
My god this resonated with me. My mouth was literally open the entire time as I was following along. I literally chuckled because on how spot on it is.
I had built up so much self love before entering a relationship with my narcissist ex. I had never encountered anyone abusive or someone that betrays with no accountability until my ex. 4 years later, in a time where I believed with all of my heart that people can change because I have changed so dramatically. You’re right, I did realize that not everyone is like that. Not everyone can look inward and propel themselves forward like I have. It really just led to weak boundaries. I’d sternly oppose the abuse or the things that bothered me. But I latched on to the slightest bit of improvement but improvement isn’t lasting with a narcissist. It exhausts them and it eventually wears off and they say F it all and enact the same trauma and worse that they once experienced. Mind you, they are completely unaware of the similarities.
In the end I was physically and emotionally abused. Numerous cups and plates thrown at me. Tables flipped over into me, choked, pushed, slapped, and hit.
A narcissist seems to be convinced they can solve relationship problems right away. However, their temperament and escalation of emotions does not allow this to ever happen. It results in chaos and abuse with no accountability. During this time the empath will try to get away, locking themselves away in the bathroom, the bedroom, running out of the house, walking 15 miles in the middle of the night to get away from the narcissist.
It was extremely damaging to me. A year later and I still feel bad and traumatized. I did get straight to working on myself right after leaving her. She cheated and I left. I have built myself up again but the wounds feel like a scab that never heals. Like any irritation of it will cause me to bleed again. It’s an empty feeling but I am hoping that if I just keep pushing forward that I can heal these scabs and the scars will only be reminders of what to avoid and a reminder to hold strong with my boundaries and beliefs.
Sorry for the long text but it just helped being able to put it out there and I hope people can relate.
I went thru almost identical situation to yours. Took a year to get back to my truth. Isn't it stupid that empathys can't seem to find each other???
@@rtinmotion It really is a shame. I do believe that we want to see the best in every situations. We are optimists to a fault. Do you still feel hurt/pain and flat emotions some days? I believe I have regained my individuality after being drained of it for 4 years aka my truth but I still struggle each day with loneliness. Loneliness of not knowing if there is anyone else out there that can love and feel empathy the way I do. Do you still feel this way after a year?
@@StMiles Yes it can take that long and you will probably be on guard for any signs in the future relationships. As I have, hence my recent breakup with someone who has very strong narcissistic traits. When you feel put down, not enough, can't take credit for anything...it's a sure sign they don't love you.
But try to imagine and feel as if you already have the love of your life with you. You will attract the one you're supposed to be with. You are sensitive to loneliness because you long to have that partnership. I speak from same feelings. You are normal not needy. Just refocus your vibration. It'll come to you. I am still an optimist. I won't settle for less. I know I've had to learn some things first. In time , we'll both be OK. Love yourself and if you don't, only you can change you. Be the best highest vibration and happy BEFORE you get what you want.
I gave up trying to defend my honor. He drained every last tear I could cry. I am the most honest person I know yet he would never believe me and call me a liar. Then started calling me Amber. I'm done. I feel nothing for him anymore. You can't love someone you don't trust. And if they don't love you, it's just obessession. Hope that helps 😁
This is really beautiful. Thank you. 💕
@@StMiles Wow. You nailed my exact feelings of MY life.
"Loneliness of not knowing if there is anyone else out there that can love and feel empathy the way I do..."
Perfectly said.
5:00 "We genuinely begin life feeling everyone feels as we do"
Here's to galvanized healing!
This is so true....I dated an narcisst and he sucked me dry...I started to develop a don't care attitude because somehow I realized had lost myself trying to fix him. I would cry everyday because I couldn't understand why he was this way and I could help heal him but the more I gave the more he took. I became broken so I needed to fix myself. I'm so glad I started loving myself now I just feel sorry for him and whomever ends up with him.
@@tonyafuller8498 💞 big hugs
So true. I have a great heart and never thought in a million years that there were people out there that are actually despicable human beings: insert my ex narc here!!
And we are in the minority of the "two seedlines" mentioned in Genesis 3:15. The other seedline outnumbers us 20 to 1 (Cain's progeny). They are the one's spoken of in Psalm 58:3-5...."The wicked are estranged from the womb;
They go astray as soon as they are born, speaking lies.
Their poison is like the poison of a serpent;
They are like the deaf cobra that stops its ear,
Which will not heed the voice of charmers,
Charming ever so skillfully."
I can’t stop crying 😢 you are describing my relationship . 10 years with a covert narcissist, i have given my all but is never enough. He is now tarnishing my image, call be crazy, difficult n selfish.
It took me a long time to figure out but living in the city was terrible for me as an empath. It was like a roller-coaster at first, almost fun. That didn't last as I found myself in messed up relationships with ppl needing help. After awhile I found myself overwhelmed to the point where I started self medicating to shut some of it out...but that was not a good solution. I finally came to the realization that if I didnt sell my home and get into the woods asap I wasn't going to live much longer.
I couldn't even sit alone in my own house without feeling like I was being bombarded with emotions, most of which weren't even mine. Getting out of the city did wonders, things aren't perfect but life will never be perfect. I really think that we are not meant to live so close to so many ppl, especially strangers. For most of human history we lived in tribes or family klans, we knew everyone to some degree. An exceptions to this would have been centers of trade, but many ppl just made trips and didnt live in that place.
Same man. Im extremely sensitive to my environment so there's nothing i hate more than crowds. Im finally connecting with my inner child. Best of luck man.
I’m this Empath and I’ve finally figured it out since my last relationship.
You just explained the last 4 years of my life. Life changing. Thank you
This ended up being my youngest adult Son. 😢😢😢so heartbreaking 😢 so hurtful
I just got out of a relationship where I felt drained, spiraling, depressed. Where I couldn't say the right thing or have an opinion. I'm starting to realize I was in a relationship with a narcissist. And from this video I think I am very much an empath.
Yep and mine even told me to not speak about or watch the health or things I like to watch ...
You have no idea how much this video has hit my heart and soul. As a little girl who was raised alone with a sexually abusive father and an alcoholic mother, I was very alone yet very strong. I honestly don't know how I survived. I got married young and had three wonderful children but my husbands turned out to be a narcissist. I ended up raising them along and now I'm 70 years old and have 6 grandchildren. I have one problem now, it's my 42-year-old daughter, she is constantly criticizing me, bringing up past flaws that I made along the way and I have done everything possible to love and support her but only recently realized she has her father's narcissistic personality. This video, with it I have a much better understanding of what I must do to stop what I feel is emotional abuse from her. Thank you so much.
Excellent description of an empath. You and I experienced the very same family dynamic growing up. Glad to learn about this trait and to develop my protective self mode as a healed empath. Narcissists now stand out to me and they fear my awareness and ability to see who they really are.
satirically speaking... when an Empath "comes alive" or comes the awakening point sometime in their Life, its like becoming a "vampire slayer" for the narcissists' underworld 😁
My husband and I abandoned the narcissist in our lives, which was his mom. When someone starts calling the cops on me, putting my freedom in jeopardy, we are done, they are a threat to me.
My mother would call the cops on
me one week, and then send me cake a week later. It was a total mind f**k for me for years, until I completed a Psychology degree. Suddenly the lights were on and I started to understand why my mother behaved the way she did
Same here. Sent my MIL packing. Goodbye and good riddance.
I’m just now realizing that my parent is a narcissist. I’m also realizing just how much this parent has hurt me and continues to hurt me. It is very hurtful and unfortunately this parent lives in my home. But I’m coming to see that it was the only way I could actually see this parent for who they are.
First thank you so much. I'm 7 out of 7. I scored 89 on the empathic part of the personality test. I have Finally admitted that I am codependent as they make them too. 40 years of this. I will RISE!! I will recover stronger than ever too. I am wide awake thanks to a good therapist and people like you.
Congrats ! So happy to hear this, as WE NEED US WHOLE ! So wonderful to have male Empaths too ! I have no doubt you will be stronger than ever ! Good for you and good for US ALL !!! 💥⚡🔥🌟🌠💖💖💖🙏🏼😇🕊️💫
You started my healing 6 years ago.I now know who I am.I was the strongest in my Family and had to take care of everyone.I am so grateful to be in this place.Thank-you.
When family sees the capacity that you are strong and can take care of everyone, they easily step aside and allow you to do what you are great at, releasing their responsibility, accountability to step in. Why would they? You were probably rocking it, feeling all the feels, and now know, you have ALWAYS been strong, and you also now know that you always deserved better. This work works! I too am grateful, as before meeting Lisa, life was lived in a place of constant confusion, could never do anything right, do enough, try harder, give all, and STILL have it come back to bite. Until we say, "Enough." Owning our own power is the greatest thing Lisa can ever teach this world.
TOTALLY 💯. Both of my parents were children. Damaged people. And they were so destructive.
I've encountered far to many broken angry narcissists. Staying single and healing until I become galvanized. Eye opening and profound information. Very valued. Thank you soooo much Lisa‼️
The best weapon against this and vampires is self awareness/realization and central grounding to the planet, that is your main fortress, how you protect it is by setting up internal rules on what comes in and what goes out as well as imagining the shield around you. Its life, and some things are not, avoid rather than engage if possible, walk away when you can and don't let negatives rent your brain-space.
I’ve been standing up to my narsasisit with truth, he is getting more verbally abusive all he has is lies insults and manipulation
It WON'T EVER change. Actually it will get worse, the more you confront the false truths to that person. They operate on deceptiveness. Once you start calling them on it... they'll work harder and harder to convince you that you're wrong. When that doesn't work for them, they WILL continue to reach deeper and deeper down into their personal arsenal of "weapons" to defeat you. To the point of shear Uber-ugliness. Don't fall for the passion of thinking you can undo that person. Or change that person. Best wishes. I tried that effect with Uber-narc father... when he finally lost - he hasn't talked to me or my family for over 7 years and still counting. He's 82 now. My mom was married to it for 29 years - it never changed. She quit - just like in the video (spot on!) and never looked back never single regret - EVER. I got my empath nature FROM my mother. My father and I have the same Narc-Empath relationship as this video. I lived with it for 48 yrs - he's my father, you don't "divorce" your family. End result = their final act will be to banish you, and leave you with all the blame. And they'll tell stories NOT in your favor, to anyone that will listen... or worse yet, start the propananda war that you can never as an Empath - win.
I wanted to add - BE WARY of the "love bomb" tactic. They are videos about that act. a naive character will think they are truly changing the ways of a narc ("he or she is finally coming around") but it IS JUST another survival tactic of dominance of a narc - especially if they are strong ones. AND one will find that out when the narc gets his/her way = they will return to pre "love bombing" ways like a recipe. Best wishes, as an Empath you will think you have helped/saved this person, but the truth is that they outwitted you.
I was the one who raged at bullies in school when they hurt someone else. I cringe when I hear crying/sobbing. I get enraged at seeing what I perceive is the bullying of innocent people online.
I do not like bad boys that are sadistic, so feel disgusted when running across fangirls crushing or adoring on narcissistic sadistic fictional characters.
I never considered myself as an "empath" but maybe that fits to some degree.
And it was a covert narc who bolloxed up my life for a few years. I just didn't see her as a narc right away.
I spent 9 years being abused telling myself, "I can handle this. I can fix this. I'll show her what unconditional love is and she'll be okay".
Nope! I lost everything.
Same here…unconditional love for a narcissist who displayed so many conditions setup for failure
You gained your freedom from negativity. I spent 20 years of my life trying the same thing. Have faith it will get better 🙏
Same
I'm 82 and always been an empath. My mother was psychotic and actually killed people. What you say is true but I am not overwhelmed by others. I love being alone. I haven't always been this way now.
Thank you for your story. My sibling did attempted murder and now I'm the bad person for speaking out on how I was stabbed during this event with children.
My bm and her mom poisoned and tried to kill me, lied to the courts to take my child
After over 30 years of narcissistic abuse from the woman who gave birth to me, I’m totally drained emotionally and have nothing to give anyone in any kind of relationship.
The narssistic will push you into the grave until you get cold then blame you for it 💔
I'm glad to see that wasn't just my experience. I shut down my emotions to my father for one argument and then was quickly called evil for not showing any emotion. The reaction well had dried up, and I had never seen such frustration. It really made me feel good for giving a piece of medicine back, and then I felt terrible for not actually realizing the type of person I had been dealing with for my entire life.
Oh yes. I remember sitting on the stairs in the middle of the night after exhausting days being woke up by the lazy blah blah and saying to my self…. I f I got cancer and was dying she would say I got it on porpoise to get sympathy and blame me for it,
Woke up this morning,and listened to you talking Lisa, it resonated incredibly to me, feels like your the only person that describes me on the planet.
It's reassuring and healing,I am going through this,I am loving myself for once,all my empathy isint flowing to my ex narc,instead it's going to me.
I feel so much stronger, it almost feels like I'm reborn, I'm discovering myself understanding myself for the first time,like I've been living under the vail of consciousness, in this fog, like you always say,it's not me it's my programming!
It took me probably half my living life to find myself, goodness it's not easy!
But now life is much sweeter then it use to be!
I protect myself the way I would protect my babies when they were little, I'm so happy that my highly protective side I used for others I'm using automatically towards myself,because I've discovered myself,I matter,I love myself.
Thankyou Lisa a million times, you are really a Phoenix!!! 🤍
@Annie B. How do you protect yourself the way you would protect your babies when they were little? What do you mean by that? 🤔
Also, congrats for all the love, empathy and protectiveness you been giving yourself! 😊
@@Katrica670 when it's about my babies I'm very nurturing,loving and protective and I'm able to be protective of myself and loving,because I've simply figured out finally that my husband is a narc, I could never understand why I would always do my best, forgive,take care of...and nothing would work,my husband would still always blame me.
When all of this craziness was explained by simply finding out he's a narc,my empathy died for him,and went towards me,realizing I was the victim trying to fix my abuser.
It's realizing your worth,that God loves you to,and you deserve to be you.
Hope that explains it a little,now all my energy I was giving to the narc is coming to me and it feels amazing!
Wish you peace and healing😊
@@annieb8521 yes, at 61, "Its realizing your worth!" That alone is worth its weight in gold. Even if it takes until being 100 years old, it is still better than the many lost Souls who leave this earth with unresolved issues, thinking they must b3 doing someone wrong, when in fact, they were being played and no one showed them to tools and the way out. Congrats to you!
@@nancymccretton6344 Thanks,it means allot and it's very true, ,it's very encouraging,God bless you!😊
@@nancymccretton6344
Such “True Words!” Nancy!! They (we) Are “Being Played!!”🙏🙏🙏🆘🚫😈👿💔
I did that... 6 weeks out... my entire life has changed for the better... I ran into him in town, he looked sad and ashen in colour, empty..
And I don't care... we all have childhood trauma, of which wasn't our fault.. however, as adults , it is our responsibility to heal...
I recognise that I was a people pleaser.. that need has left me.. the only sorrow I feel is for the fantasy that he loved me... part of me, my inate inborn innocence .. that believes that there is good in all people... harsh lesson...
Thank you, thank you thank you! I really needed to see the black & white of this explanation. I am breaking generational trauma, abuse and healing myself. I am doing it, and anyone can do it. Keep up the good work everyone. ❤️🧡💚💙♥️💜
You eloquently explain this all so profound! I am a recovering codependent /empath and feel so empowered and alive for the first time ever in my life! I rationalized my abuse since childhood and it was killing me from within.
Thank you dearly 💙🙏🏾🙏🏾
Oh My Lord... I'm 63 years old with 35+ years married to a Vulnerable Narc. You all help me navigate this choppy water and I'm grateful.
I am an Empath and what should I be looking for in a divorce attorney because my spouse is a narcissist.
@@davidcross2341 An insightful, quick -witted, shark who is not naive about things like manipulation, sociopathic charm effect, & cunning behavior in general. You might ask an abuse shelter's business office where to look. I don't think they'll have a recommendation outright, but they'd absolutely understand what's likely going on & they'd know who'd know one. Men get abused too. You can call the national domestic violence hotline to find sources of local info & resources, to find out who to ask. Be careful how you phrase it bc some survivors are unaware or untrusting of male survivors bc many men talk about it less. But the larger shelters & programs for women have legal advocates who would probably know a lawyer that's versed in emotional abuse tactics & mentality. If not, librarians know EVERYTHING & you can talk to the reference desk. Lawyers have reviews online like any business but there can be tons of them in a city & it could take weeks. There may be a local divorce or narcissistic support group where people may have input, & you could go once & ask local people. A good lawyer may belong to Rotary, Lions, Masonic Lodge, or some other philanthropic businessmen's org & they probably wouldn't be reluctant to say, but then do a yelp search in case it's the guys' best friend. In reviews make sure angry ones were on the opposing side, of course, lol.
@@davidcross2341 There's a divorce lawyer in the next comment down. Ask if he can recommend someone. They may belong to national organizations, & know each other's reputations, but he'd know how to vet a lawyer, I bet bc he's telling us to vet potential spouses.
❤
it's true the narcissist did point out that I am a heightened empath lol didn't even know but now I know how special I am which is probably the best thing that came out of this relationship
This is what's happening to me. I try to please everyone and I am drained now.
It's magical how someone on the other side of the planet has had the exact journey of healing that I have, and has come to the exact conclusions that I have, except that I didn't know the names of phenomena such as narcissism, empathy, triangulation,..., and that English is not my first language. Lisa, I feel like you are translating my thoughts (that are in Persian) into eloquent English 😊 Thank you for doing such an amazing job 😉👌💕
You are not alone. English IS my 1st language. Until 2 years ago, I did not know nor had I heard of the words: narcissism, enmeshment, or triangulation. I had to google them when they came up in Lisa's talks as though they were everyday words that everyone knew, except me. Once I learned their meanings, the Motherload of flashbacks opened up to how I was led to a life of "co-dependency" another word I had not heard before. These four words and understanding their meaning, along with Lisa's 12 week Coaching, changed EVERYTHING. LOL. I am blind no more! "Now, I SEE!" :)
It is LIFE CHANGING when the Empath realizes who they truly are and everything positive they can do. At age 56, I am thankful that I have discovered that I am an Empath. Also love that there are so many articles and videos about getting through life as an Empath. There are plenty of energy vampires, but the beauty behind that is that once you learn how to defeat them, you succeed at learning how to live your life and not letting them affect you. Hey negative people, do you like how I have learned to play your game and win?
Yes, Baby! ❤
WOW you described me, it took me 24 years of exhaustion to finally divorce my narcissist ex, 2 years of finding me. I've realised you can't save people that dont want to be saved, I'm nobody's doormat, see and feel manipulation a mile off. My family find it difficult to hear me say no to them and I don't feel bad about it anymore 💪 Thank you ♥️
This was my empath confirmation.
They have only cognitive empathy. This means they are fastidious about doing and saying things that indicate they have concern for you. Unlike many grandiose narcissists, a covert narcissist has a cognitive understanding of how people behave when they have concern for others. But when the chips are down in your life, such as you are the victim of a crime, you are very sick, or you lose your job, the covert narcissist is chilly, abandoning, and just “doesn’t get it.” They may blame you for your misfortune. The covert narcissist can’t summon any of the normal ways of caring in these moments. In these ways, they reveal themselves to have no emotional empathy. Depending on how long it takes for you to experience such incidents, you could go for years not realizing that your partner is a narcissist. They may literally turn their back on you, over seemingly trivial matters. This is a trait they share with grandiose narcissists. Maybe they get annoyed that you’re walking too slow and leave you alone while they rush ahead, or they get impatient with what you’re saying and turn around while you’re in mid-sentence, or maybe you’re a little late for a social function that you’re attending as a couple, only to find them already inside as if they weren’t at the event with you. They probably appear charming and competent to those who don’t live with them. A covert narcissist’s constant striving for perfection often results in a set of traits that most of us (who are not obsessed with perfection) admire, as long as we don’t get too close to the narcissist. This makes explaining the upside-down hall of mirrors that is your shared intimate space with the covert narcissist impossible to explain to those outside the relationship, who will assume you are either exaggerating, or that your relationship skills are lacking. The covert narcissist may be a pillar of the community, or has lofty, well thought-out ideals. The striving for perfection of a covert narcissist often results in associating themselves with highly regarded intellectuals, businesspeople, or other such pillars of the community, such that the covert narcissist appears to be a pillar of the community themselves. Additionally, covert narcissists can identify with a vision of societal utopia, and become a zealot about their particular ideals, whether liberal or conservative. The covert narcissist is surprisingly lazy. Despite their lofty ideals or connections, the covert narcissist often does little to no work to actually earn the respect of people in the community through their actions. Their ideals or connections are a facade they choose instead of real effort and commitment. They can be sexually faithful. Unlike grandiose narcissists, who are often sexually unfaithful, covert narcissists can be sexually faithful for fear of their reputation being damaged, or out of sheer laziness or shyness, not out of an emotional commitment to their partner. This can be confusing to the neurotypical partner, who sees the faithfulness as a sign of love, making the erroneous assumption that the covert narcissist has emotional empathy, and therefore the capacity to love. They have a Jekyll and Hyde personality, often raging, or finding fault with you, in private as a way of relieving their own inner shame at not being perfect. This is another trait that coverts share with grandiose narcissists. It feels like you have a partner who’s really a teenager, and that it’s your duty to shoulder the “steadiness” they need in the face of their criticisms and anger. The covert narcissist has absolutely no sense of humor about this behavior, meaning there’s an unnecessary “heaviness” in the relationship that leaves you walking on eggshells. Moreover, Cheating in marriages is not restricted to only men. Women cheat as much as men do. If you're suspecting your husband of infidelity, you'll have to keep an eye on him without his knowledge. One of the best ways to know if your spouse cheats on social platforms is by paying close attention to how your spouse behaves while online. The signs are pretty the same. Is your spouse more time on the app without explanation and gets unnecessarily defensive when you ask about it? If your spouse behavior has changed lately, and continues to spend more time on social apps, it's time for you to take action, with the help of a private investigator (suggested; BARRYINVESTIGATION@GMAIL. COM , you can find out what is taking all their time on social apps, who they are talking to and other things happening,,
Great examples. I never could understand why I was so depressed and cried a lot and it turned out 13 years later that I had married a narcissistic saboteur who was popular and funny and a great cook. So in isolation - all our friends were his- any I made didn't continue because he would binge drink and be embarrassing and thus we were not a couple you could invite round and I wasn't able to be my own friend to them because he wouldn't help with our 4 young children to allow me to go out. Fast forward now, finally 3 of my 4 young adult children realize the source of my breakdown was his chronic gas lighting and see their Dad for themselves. Sadly my daughter his first born daughter was singled out as his favourite, which now, my younger daughter recognizes she is free from his control and autonomous from him. I am manifestating that my oldest daughter gains true insight and strength to break free of her Dad's selfish clutches. And stops believing his lies that I am to blame for all things bad.
They have to know where the hard boundaries are. That's why they always push the envelope until it rips. Then they take a half step back and wait for you to cool down. Then they resume pushing.
This.
Good lord. I have all 8! Growing up my step mom would make it like it was wrong to be emotional. I had a friend in elementary school, her grandfather had a heart attack when we were all at a basketball game. All of a sudden I was thinking of her and how that felt for her and I got upset and felt bad for her. My step mom stepped in and ask why I was crying and laughed about it. It’s like my feelings were wrong. I hate that now as an adult I’m dealing with all this. I have been doing a lot of research on narcissists. I truly believe my step mom is a narcissist. I’m now putting in distance. I’m now learning to heal.
The penny finally dropped for me, some time ago. Now I avoid people like the plague; it’s the only way I can survive… I have a few members of family and no longer have any friends.
Thankfully I married wisely; my husband (of almost 39 years now) is my best and only friend. And I have my hands full trying to heal him of his metastatic prostate cancer and that’s the be-all and end-all of my life. He is a lovely, wonderful human being… he must be to have fallen in love with and cherished me for 40 years ❤
Lisa has a tremendous ability to be precise and to the point in her clear manner of teaching. She has a god-given ability to communicate and help others through what she has learned herself!
I’m an empath and I’m sick of only attracting narcissists. Resorted to therapy to change my vibe, hopefully it helps cause I’m starting to feel numb toward everything and everyone. 🙄
I love being introvert I don’t need people around me to be happy I love myself
This was the most perfect explanation of the Empath and how we navigate through life, relationships, and establishing boundaries. Very validating! Thank you
Just bc you’re an empath doesn’t mean you want to fix everyone. Uncheck that box for me. I can feel other’s feelings but I don’t feel I need to fix them. I want away from them. Too many people in a room overwhelms me.
Fuckin A. I am an only child who was raised by two amazing parents. There was nothing but love and support in the home I grew up in. My parents divorced when I graduated highschool not because of abuse or infidelity, they just kind of grew apart. They are both happily remarried to great people, and still communicate (because of me) and respect each other. So being that I had such a good upbringing leads me to believe that is why I am an empath.
@@TeeJay-er1nkwow your so lucky
@@VlogginTherapy I know. And I'm eternally grateful. Thank you for seeing that.
@lisaaromano1 - How do you know this? How on earth is it possible you can explain this so easily at such an early age? I have been searching for decades upon decades trying to figure this out. You totally get it! I sit here in complete shock and awe you mentioned how we have great difficulty discerning whose feelings are flowing through our bodies. It wasn't but a couple weeks ago that onion layer came off to reveal its ugly self. I grew up in a very abusive home as the target of my father's verbal and very physical abuse, then into the arms of a narcissist for over 4 decades. I am a mess, but I'm not. Spending your entire life questioning yourself does have dividends, it forces you inside to work on yourself. Once you have found and dealt with your own issues and you still have problems, then you start looking in the final place you thought it would be realizing you share the same bed.
I have been listening to you all day, you are speaking my language here. You had to have learned this the hard way, my goodness. Think I'll venture on over for a closer look.
I am so grateful this work resonates with you🙏
I think u should, welcome anytime BINGE WATCHING IS HOW I'VE SEEN MOSTLY ALL THESE VIDEOS
This make me just wanna cry, why couldn’t I have found this video back then 🥺😩
Don't beat yourself up. In the past crap may have been too thick, so to speak, and you weren't ready for this info until now.
A lot of this makes sense to me.
My personal journey currently.
I find myself often confused with the the differences between
empath and people pleasing.
I currently spend a lot of time now studying narcissists ,empaths, and people pleasing behaviour.
My Narc parent passed away a few years ago and left a nightmare legacy.
My disabled brother was left unprotected from predators and an estate designed to create division among remaining family.
After spending so much time cleaning this legal mess I experienced some of the worst gaslighting and vindictive behaviour from some family members and other people who behaved very unprofessionally .
Everyone seemed nice and supportive at first but rapidly became intolerant to boundaries and being shown the door legally.
I gave up a lot to secure my brother and own family now I am shunned by a sibling and some extended family a high price but worth it having the people that matter now in my life.
I am still working out what I am currently I feel like I walked off a battle field carrying a sack full of sad and angry feelings I have towards people I liked and some I still love and thought were decent and had a strong moral compass.
A long comment but I am interested in others who may have had similar experience s
It is sad to hear you went through all of this, and then after the passing of your loved one, more madness ensued. Crazy at its best. Please do not feel sad. All is beyond your control. Once you realize it was hard all along and it had NOTHING to do with you, but all to do with many generations of faulty programming, it is easier to release and let go, including the drama, trauma, crazy enmeshment. Lisa is no kidding aside, one of life's greatest Earth Angels. If one person gets you, that's all you need! And there are many that "get" what you have been through and know you were the one who possibly had it right all along. So give yourself some grace, and credit and hold your head high the way it was meant to be held.
I feel you. I think the hardest part is the shock of the behavior of someone you trusted. I could not believe it was real.
I'm wondering if your parent did anything good for your disabled brother while they were alive
@@nancymccretton6344 Thanks for your Kind words
Life is getting a lot better now time does heal.
Studying the behaviour of Narcs, myself,and sharing personal experience helped a lot with the healing process.
My brother, wife, and children are all thriving now.
Wishing you well Nancy.
I did! And I really couldn't change any details except it wasn't a brother. Other than that it is as if you told my story. I went no contact with them. I missed one of them periodically & grieved for the type of relationship that "should" have been, but that will pass. I had to process it, not just try to put it out of my mind. It can into deep trauma if shoved in a corner, but I couldn't not ruminate on it, so I had to work through it. But even family wounds heal & I think they can heal better. These are people who we are told love us, when we're a kid, that we love them. We saw a good plan. They saw an opportunity for viciousness and greed and revealed that they'd worn a mask, all our lives, or couldn't even act right on matters of law or respect for someone who had passed & that they had no redeeming qualities bc who targets a relative, or anyone who's become helpless and deserves support?! The good riddance we say initially, becomes a truth, we get used to it then relieved, if we look into the mentality behind it & objective information on it. Thank goodness we are not trapped inside brains like those bc they value nothing of what holds the most value in life and are truly miserable beings. Congratulations on your escape, condolences on the reason for it & thank you for being a good brother. May you heal well & thoroughly bc joy is the best revenge.
This is the first time I've ever heard of this. I feel really validated. Thank you!
I’ve never heard a more accurate video. Thank you.
With respect to being an empath, I took things one further... "I became a Nurse." You nailed it! Thank you.
The number of times I’ve seen narcissistic tendencies in someone who calls themselves an empath is astounding. A lot of “empathy” gets confused with the ability to read people.