How not to be gay

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  • Опубликовано: 28 янв 2024

Комментарии • 390

  • @justjade256
    @justjade256 3 месяца назад +1590

    “Talking about Jesus with their guns” is one of the most American sentences of all time

    • @alicegaiba
      @alicegaiba 3 месяца назад +30

      Jesus notoriously loved guns 😂

    • @DanAndHoe
      @DanAndHoe 3 месяца назад +32

      Also I don't know why exactly, but a house filled with college students and guns just seems like a bad idea. Even the Christian students I know could get pretty damn drunk and make questionable decisions, some of which were violent. Adding guns in the mix seems like an accident waiting to happen.

    • @rumo1086
      @rumo1086 3 месяца назад +11

      Hell yes, ranting about a middle eastern guy with Chinese-made weaponry.

    • @AnimateTheArts
      @AnimateTheArts 3 месяца назад +5

      ​@@DanAndHoeliterally

    • @jodoodlyboi2963
      @jodoodlyboi2963 3 месяца назад +4

      Yeah, that part made me really laugh 😂

  • @TheWorldsLargestOven
    @TheWorldsLargestOven 4 месяца назад +921

    Instructions unclear, I'm still gay.

    • @xavierhouston4650
      @xavierhouston4650 3 месяца назад +2

      Rope, _, _.

    • @yanaromusic
      @yanaromusic 3 месяца назад +3

      rope store to your right

    • @jj8703
      @jj8703 3 месяца назад +4

      ever heard of a noose?

    • @M3T4L-tz3sr
      @M3T4L-tz3sr 3 месяца назад +38

      Telling someone to kill themselves just because of a comment is crazy. 💀

    • @maddie-xh9yy
      @maddie-xh9yy 3 месяца назад +35

      yall need to stfu the jokes about suicide are getting old

  • @WhatWouldLubitschDo
    @WhatWouldLubitschDo 4 месяца назад +1318

    Can we get a book review? And no cheating by looking up what’s actually in there, I want garbled decades-old memories of what it was about with commentary, please please please

    • @ArgyleDinosaur
      @ArgyleDinosaur 4 месяца назад +121

      I SECOND THIS WHOLE HEARTEDLY.

    • @DelovelyD
      @DelovelyD 3 месяца назад +20

      😭😭😭

    • @eilzmo
      @eilzmo 3 месяца назад +10

      Yessssss omg

    • @SCPDrPrince
      @SCPDrPrince 3 месяца назад +5

      Yes yes pls do this

    • @katiemae9412
      @katiemae9412 3 месяца назад +3

      THIS!!

  • @idkwhathomestuckisijustlik3439
    @idkwhathomestuckisijustlik3439 4 месяца назад +1741

    As soon as you said "answering machine" I said "oh shit"

    • @Cat..Person
      @Cat..Person 3 месяца назад +18

      Same and I was born in 2005…

    • @gaywizard2000
      @gaywizard2000 3 месяца назад +8

      Oh god! Yes children there was a whole civilization before you existed!

    • @reberca-uy2zx
      @reberca-uy2zx 3 месяца назад

      read Homestuck

    • @idkwhathomestuckisijustlik3439
      @idkwhathomestuckisijustlik3439 3 месяца назад +8

      @@reberca-uy2zx but it's so long...

    • @mwv1217
      @mwv1217 3 месяца назад +15

      There's a culture clash between eras where we think landlines are old but they're still in restaurants and offices. Where CDs are outdated but people are clamoring for records. Also no one ever considers the fact that nobody has ever reinvented the umbrella and that has been around for centuries.

  • @meifennellysieu7510
    @meifennellysieu7510 3 месяца назад +548

    I think I just discovered a new favorite subgenre called "autotuned anecdotes about intensely awkward situations," and I am thoroughly enjoying myself. This is a gift.

    • @orangeismyfavoritecolor
      @orangeismyfavoritecolor 3 месяца назад +10

      Kind of hurts my head/ears personally but I can see the appeal of it :) the stories are interesting

    • @meifennellysieu7510
      @meifennellysieu7510 3 месяца назад +12

      @@orangeismyfavoritecolor I really agree with you, lol. The funny thing is, I usually really dislike autotune for those exact reasons.
      I think part of the appeal might be the absurdity of using autotune for a spoken medium in the first place. BUT the bigger one for me is the subtitles: that lets me turn the volume down to a manageable level while I enjoy the absurd autotuned voice (thank God for subtitles).

    • @judipierry549
      @judipierry549 3 месяца назад +6

      I love it!
      While also hating auto tune.

    • @doritodrummah
      @doritodrummah 3 месяца назад +6

      I'd actually prefer that over AI narrations 😭

    • @XOChristianaNicole
      @XOChristianaNicole 3 месяца назад +2

      @@doritodrummah- Totally agree. It had me hangin’ on the edge of my seat.

  • @schonnj
    @schonnj 4 месяца назад +342

    How to clearly define "awkward" in the most entertaining way possible.

    • @eilzmo
      @eilzmo 3 месяца назад +5

      Without using the word itself, proper story telling at its finest 😂

  • @CosmicDaydreams
    @CosmicDaydreams 4 месяца назад +431

    I feel like Sandy from the Christian Bookstore did that on purpose 😂😂

  • @LordIstar
    @LordIstar 4 месяца назад +429

    When I tell you I HOLLERED glad you survived a fraternity too.

  • @-belue-6697
    @-belue-6697 3 месяца назад +98

    Instead of calling someone a Karen or a Kevin…
    I shall henceforth be calling them “SANDY FROM THE CHRISTIAN BOOKSTORE!” 😂

    • @SiiriCressey
      @SiiriCressey 3 месяца назад +1

      "Who talks about Jesus with his/her guns."?

    • @XOChristianaNicole
      @XOChristianaNicole 3 месяца назад +1

      @@SiiriCressey- Americans. That’s who.

    • @XOChristianaNicole
      @XOChristianaNicole 3 месяца назад

      You would think, back in those days - it would be one of those situations, like with medical offices, “Can we leave confidential information on your answering machine/voicemail?”

    • @SiiriCressey
      @SiiriCressey 3 месяца назад

      @@XOChristianaNicole I was adding to what Belue said. Sandy from the Christian bookstore who talks about Jesus with her guns.

  • @Alicia-zf3nq
    @Alicia-zf3nq 3 месяца назад +18

    I was kind of hoping Sandy hadn't mentioned a name so all the guys would just be wondering which one of them was gay. Imagine the chaos of all of them trying to guess which one of them was gay while also all feverishly denying it wasn't them

    • @J3nniferLynn
      @J3nniferLynn Месяц назад

      But in reality, it was probably all of them…back in the ninetieeeeesssss 🎵

  • @anshumaansinghthakur
    @anshumaansinghthakur 4 месяца назад +183

    it was the ninteeeeessssss.......... 😂😂

    • @ShaniaT.
      @ShaniaT. 3 месяца назад +6

      I guess it made them… feel.. saferrrr

  • @The_other_jenny
    @The_other_jenny 3 месяца назад +69

    "Talking about Jesus with their guns" killed me 😂

  • @readmachine18
    @readmachine18 4 месяца назад +152

    Him: "So, there was this machine called an 'answering machine'--"
    Me: "Oh no."
    Him: "And I lived in a big house full of guys from the fundamentalist church, and they all had a lot of guns--"
    Me: "OH NO 😱"

  • @2Madre
    @2Madre 4 месяца назад +138

    back in those days... the 1900's

    • @freaxfilm
      @freaxfilm 4 месяца назад +4

      1990

    • @TMIATC
      @TMIATC 4 месяца назад +20

      ​@@freaxfilmthe 1990s were a part of the 1900s.

    • @blaiddfumbler
      @blaiddfumbler 3 месяца назад +15

      dear fucking lord, gen alpha is calling the 90s "1900s" 😭😭
      it ain't that fucking long ago bro

    • @dogberry20
      @dogberry20 3 месяца назад +8

      ​@blaiddfumbler Um... the 1900's are all the years that start with 19, so yeah. The 1990's were in the 1900's. Wait, do you think that the 1800's was only 10 years long? That must have made history class really confusing.
      Edit: And for the record, before you complain about me being Gen Alpha, I lived during the 1900's for 28 years.

    • @blaiddfumbler
      @blaiddfumbler 3 месяца назад +4

      @@dogberry20 "Erm... the 1900's are all the years that start with 19, so yeah 🤓"
      MF.. bro, my man, YOU GUYS ARE ACTNG LIKE ITS 300 YEARS AGO, IT WAS ONLY 25 YEARS AGO WHEN IT WAS ENDING
      1800s IS A LONG FUCKING TIME AGO, ITS 125 YEARS AGO.
      it ain't that long ago bruv, just call it the 90s or somethin, not the "1900s" 💀

  • @mellsc9412
    @mellsc9412 3 месяца назад +40

    When I heard “all standing in the kitchen” I froze halfway thru pouring a glass of milk 😂 I’ve been traumatized by the answering machine enough to know lol

  • @bevbarnard4282
    @bevbarnard4282 4 месяца назад +57

    The laugh at the end...gives my heart the feels❤

  • @feyfox8005
    @feyfox8005 4 месяца назад +57

    Your such a superb story teller. You could talk about anything and it would brighten my day. And your anecdotes are wild. ❤

  • @joelbuchanan471
    @joelbuchanan471 4 месяца назад +138

    Yup, I am so happy the kids coming up today don't seem to be offended or threatened by LGBT+. 20 somethings I meet now are very supportive. PROGRESS!!!

    • @wisegirl359
      @wisegirl359 4 месяца назад +28

      ...........not the current teenagers though, not in my school atleast-

    • @nicreven
      @nicreven 3 месяца назад +1

      Which is very weird, right? But then again it's their parents' fault.@@wisegirl359

    • @joelbuchanan471
      @joelbuchanan471 3 месяца назад +41

      @@wisegirl359 I am sorry. They get taught some pretty bad behavior by parents who still hold prejudices. I do see acceptance by some young people. 💜

    • @xavierhouston4650
      @xavierhouston4650 3 месяца назад +1

      Regression

    • @funcat3560
      @funcat3560 3 месяца назад +26

      @@xavierhouston4650 What's regressing exactly?
      Because a lot the of time when an affliction leaves, it's a good thing.
      Homophobia is pretty complex in its implementation, having it regress will progress any country's financial stability, and lower crime. It one or the other, fear and hate vs economic stability and safety.
      So again, what's regressing, and how is that remotely bad?

  • @ninaschust3694
    @ninaschust3694 4 месяца назад +51

    You are a survivor ❤. I am sure you were not the only one in the college. 🌈

    • @AbsolutelyNot86
      @AbsolutelyNot86 3 месяца назад +14

      Honey he wasn't the only one in that house! 😂❤😊

  • @Trainspotter-
    @Trainspotter- 4 месяца назад +37

    TALKING ABOUT JESUS WITH GUNS

  • @crocutaqueen1311
    @crocutaqueen1311 3 месяца назад +16

    I miss the 90's a lot but I don't miss the 90's at all. Damn.

    • @-belue-6697
      @-belue-6697 3 месяца назад +1

      Oh honey! SAME! 🍵 😂 🫖 😢

  • @bloodynessie1
    @bloodynessie1 4 месяца назад +21

    I remember the answering machines. Your stories brings back good memories of me growing up in the 90s. Your just have a hilarious turn to it 😂

  • @cshijinx
    @cshijinx 3 месяца назад +11

    The minute "answering machine " was said my brain went. "Oh no....OH NO!" It's always the answering machine messages😂

  • @leonoelish
    @leonoelish 3 месяца назад +5

    This has got to be the funniest, and most entertaining video I’ve seen in months ,
    “They were talking about Jesus with their guns” 😂😂😂

  • @cursedtortilla101
    @cursedtortilla101 3 месяца назад +9

    When he said “I heard about this book that taught you how to not be gay” I thought he was going to say the Bible 💀

  • @dolphinbanana3053
    @dolphinbanana3053 4 месяца назад +11

    This made me realize I've never heard Kevin swear

  • @damonlorenzoheart
    @damonlorenzoheart 3 месяца назад +12

    Proud of you, boo. 🥰🖤🏳️‍🌈 It’s a lot to deal with, being in situations like that. But you’re amazing, just the way you are. #LGBTQandProud

  • @HereForTheComments
    @HereForTheComments 3 месяца назад +7

    Hope this one isn't too long for Javadoodles to java doodle. I can already see this badass dorm full of guns, looking like Frank Castle's bunker or something.

  • @michellesunshinestar
    @michellesunshinestar 4 месяца назад +10

    My dad still has his landline and answering machine.

  • @AOhGodHowDidWeGetHere
    @AOhGodHowDidWeGetHere 4 месяца назад +16

    IM STILL GAYYYYYYY

  • @jmaessen3531
    @jmaessen3531 4 месяца назад +10

    Oh my GOD the last two seconds of sing songy "I'm still gay" made me so happy and cracked me UP! 😆 So glad you're still gay 🫶🏻

  • @CheerfulNihilism
    @CheerfulNihilism 4 месяца назад +5

    I remember answering machines. Those were the days. I could listen to the telemarketer leaving a message instead of watch my phone ring with "Scam Likely" and letting it go to the voicemail I don't even bother to check anymore.

  • @antoniaalabama2234
    @antoniaalabama2234 3 месяца назад +5

    Oh my god so this is where that animation channel gets these audios from

  • @Allison_Hart
    @Allison_Hart 3 месяца назад +4

    Oh this could definitely be a fanfic prompt I'm so sorry 😅😂

  • @mistylarosa9821
    @mistylarosa9821 4 месяца назад +7

    That laugh at the end is everything ❤

  • @ElizabethT45
    @ElizabethT45 4 месяца назад +22

    You and your housemates, standing there like in Book of Mormon:
    Turn it off like a light switch
    There, it's gone
    (Good for you)
    My hetero side just won
    I'm all better now
    😂😂😂😂

    • @OliverAndLilyGillin
      @OliverAndLilyGillin 4 месяца назад

      Boys should be with girls, that’s Heavenly Father’s plan,
      So if you ever feel you’d rather be with a man,
      Turn it off
      (I’m actually going to see that play next month!)

    • @dawn8293
      @dawn8293 4 месяца назад +7

      Oh, you meant the musical! I was like, "I am very familiar with the Book of Mormon, and it does not talk about how not to be gay. Weirdly, it does say to not be polygamous for the most part, but nothing about homosexuality."

  • @Clexi
    @Clexi 3 месяца назад +2

    Mission failed successfully.

  • @Queenxmarquise
    @Queenxmarquise 3 месяца назад +3

    The explaining of what an answering machine is is taking me out 😅😅😅😅 and you didn’t get to the small tape that it’s recorded on 😂😂😂😂

  • @justvibin1447
    @justvibin1447 3 месяца назад

    "I'm still gay" is the happy ending we all knew was coming but it was still good to hear

  • @intersexcryptid
    @intersexcryptid 3 месяца назад +1

    Oh, the level of life affirming that this was. Thank you.

  • @eeltenaj19
    @eeltenaj19 3 месяца назад +2

    I'm glad you survived that book and stayed true to who you are! I remember feeling so wrong. Now I'm happily married to my beautiful wyfe. 😊❤ We've been married 20 years

  • @jackiefox7224
    @jackiefox7224 3 месяца назад

    Glad you’re still who you were meant to be. Enjoyed the delivery of your story. I did feel your pain when the damn answering machine message was played back… 😬🇨🇦

  • @abemcg3803
    @abemcg3803 3 месяца назад

    The vocalizing when you said *”It was the 90’s”* sounded smooth, ngl 😅

  • @ksy4747
    @ksy4747 3 месяца назад +1

    "I guess it made them feel safer" huh..i never made that connection before. Its not that they love to kill things, its that deep down inside they feel absolutely terrified.

  • @cg4119
    @cg4119 4 месяца назад +9

    God I love you. What a life. 😂

  • @Mr.Kennedy-kn1kl
    @Mr.Kennedy-kn1kl 3 месяца назад

    Keep doing more anecdotes while talking in that musical autotune voice thingy. Didn't know I needed it so bad in my life. I need more.

  • @Television_Addict
    @Television_Addict 3 месяца назад

    Stories like this remind me that even though my parents are welcoming and accepting doesn't mean everyone has as good a situation. Every time I hear one of these stories I feel so glad that I am accepted, and these always make me laugh.

  • @heyitsella117
    @heyitsella117 3 месяца назад +3

    Everybody should speak like this in real life

    • @DanielThureskog
      @DanielThureskog 3 месяца назад

      Yeah, like he and Zimos (Saints Row) does.

  • @jacktheripper774vods6
    @jacktheripper774vods6 3 месяца назад +1

    I hated sitting through that autotune, but im glad I did lol

  • @CSXGirl822
    @CSXGirl822 3 месяца назад

    I thought this was going to have a way worse ending as soon as he mentioned the answering machine. I'm glad I was wrong.

  • @bizygirl1
    @bizygirl1 3 месяца назад

    I haven’t seen you in awhile. I used to call our answering machine to talk to my cat. Nice to see you. Thanks for the chuckle

  • @juststardust8103
    @juststardust8103 3 месяца назад

    Answering machines always steal the show.

  • @videoXtamer
    @videoXtamer 3 месяца назад

    I was expecting either some wisdom, or a joke, and I got my expectations fullfilled love you so much.

  • @persephoneblack888
    @persephoneblack888 3 месяца назад +1

    A memory so awkward and embarrassing that I'M going to be remembering it for you when I fall asleep at night 😂 I'm happy the book didn't work ❤

  • @gaywizard2000
    @gaywizard2000 3 месяца назад +1

    Just discovered your videos last night, i laugh at every one, subbed immediately! We are probably the same age or so, love the stories!

  • @judithsixkiller5586
    @judithsixkiller5586 3 месяца назад +1

    That was not only a thoughless message to leave on an answering machine, but unnecessary..
    Sandy could have just said "Hi Kevin,the book that you ordered is here, and waiting to be picked up"

  • @dmnemaine
    @dmnemaine 3 месяца назад

    "Talking about Jesus with their guns". That was an eye-roller. lol

  • @jeffmyname2204
    @jeffmyname2204 3 месяца назад +1

    Bruh, I call false advertising! Talk about faulty products 😂

  • @gaiagreen2690
    @gaiagreen2690 3 месяца назад

    I've just found your channel, you are the best, I subscribed and looking forward to lots of laughter! ❤ from Switzerland

  • @amandasunshine2
    @amandasunshine2 3 месяца назад +1

    This is the quality content I'm on the internet for

  • @The_Debonair_Dragon
    @The_Debonair_Dragon 3 месяца назад

    "I dis read the book and I'm still gay."
    Same.

  • @rhettbaldwin8320
    @rhettbaldwin8320 3 месяца назад +1

    Auto tuning this video was a choice, not sure if it was the correct choice, but it was a choice.

  • @J3nniferLynn
    @J3nniferLynn Месяц назад

    I was not expecting that at all 😂 “For some reason, they had a lot of guns 💪”

  • @pixelzebra8440
    @pixelzebra8440 3 месяца назад +1

    How have I never seen this guy before like ive only ever watched the animations

  • @kaylahall1219
    @kaylahall1219 3 месяца назад

    The ending made me cackle uncontrollably 😂🤣😂

  • @andreevaillancourt2177
    @andreevaillancourt2177 3 месяца назад

    No sh*t, you are so funny. You always seem to be able to make me laugh out loud, heartily. 😅😁✌🏽

  • @d_no_allyn_86
    @d_no_allyn_86 3 месяца назад

    This is how every story should be told on RUclips lol.

  • @cara.leo_
    @cara.leo_ 3 месяца назад +1

    Such a good story. Such good autotune too.

  • @nadiarey4196
    @nadiarey4196 3 месяца назад

    This has to be one of my favs. And there's plenty of them from your channel so ...

  • @rockandfashion7207
    @rockandfashion7207 3 месяца назад +1

    This is incredibly sad and incredibly hilarious 😂😂😂😂

  • @stariadreamtea
    @stariadreamtea 3 месяца назад

    This made me made with tears!! 😭😂

  • @ANNA-fr333
    @ANNA-fr333 3 месяца назад +1

    I remember the "pray the gay away" era of the nineties too.:'(
    Much love brother.

  • @santiagoedison
    @santiagoedison 3 месяца назад

    Great story! It must have been horrible as it happened but you survived it. And you’re handsome with beautiful eyes.

  • @lotstodo
    @lotstodo 4 месяца назад +4

    So. .how did the book explain it?

    • @-belue-6697
      @-belue-6697 3 месяца назад +2

      Just look up the song 🎤IT’S NOT OK TO BE GAY! 🎤…
      There you go my friend…Thank me later! 😂

  • @crow_feather
    @crow_feather 3 месяца назад

    Between their guns, and their homophobia, I am in shock and awe that you lived through that, and are with us now to tell the tale!

  • @penelopepurr
    @penelopepurr 3 месяца назад

    By far, the best video I'll see today!

  • @Marie-or7mf
    @Marie-or7mf 3 месяца назад

    In the immortal of Frank Zappa...you are what you is. You is what you am. A cow don't make ham.

  • @inYTbio_SiteLINKs2Verses_Bruv
    @inYTbio_SiteLINKs2Verses_Bruv 3 месяца назад

    You aren't gay, you're in the "Church Choir."

  • @kittnorse7675
    @kittnorse7675 3 месяца назад

    Thank you so much for sharing your life experiences. 💜

  • @AbsolutelyNot86
    @AbsolutelyNot86 3 месяца назад +1

    I f*cking screamed when you said “answering machine”. 💀Gods what a horrible invention! How did we ever survive it? I thought would have been the point that you all burst out laughing at “what a great prank” someone played on you! 💀

  • @robin.watermelon
    @robin.watermelon 3 месяца назад +1

    This is the best story

  • @garnet1918
    @garnet1918 3 месяца назад

    Holy shit, what an absolute treat of a video. How do you do the vocoding?

  • @Lovelyaribb
    @Lovelyaribb 3 месяца назад

    Lollllll “and I’m still gayyyy” 🤣

  • @shawnycoffman
    @shawnycoffman 3 месяца назад +2

    Wait a minute. Do you have any experience with Sun In and parachute pants?

  • @LittleNinjaXYBA
    @LittleNinjaXYBA 3 месяца назад

    As a Christian Ally, I approve of this message

  • @notsure1969
    @notsure1969 3 месяца назад

    I always knew that gay guys knew how to speak in autotune.

  • @emmacarlsen2651
    @emmacarlsen2651 3 месяца назад

    Answering machines really blew all your damn secrets

  • @mtothethree5412
    @mtothethree5412 2 месяца назад +1

    Dying 😂😂😂 you should call the Christian bookstore and try to get your money back

    • @EliStocher
      @EliStocher 2 месяца назад

      Or walk into the store and say-sing, "Show me the moneeeeyyyy!" ;-)

  • @wigglestoescutely
    @wigglestoescutely 3 месяца назад +1

    "Hi Kevin. This is Sandy from the bookstore and your book Coming Out of Homosexualityyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy has arrived"

  • @ulyana_schen
    @ulyana_schen 3 месяца назад

    "So I read the book and I'm still gaaAaAaaAay"
    Endings we deserve

  • @smittykins
    @smittykins 3 месяца назад +1

    I love how you drew out “homosexualityyyyyyyyyyyyy…”😅

  • @osiris676
    @osiris676 3 месяца назад

    Damn that house sharing situation must have been horrible

  • @michellegulden1052
    @michellegulden1052 3 месяца назад

    I remember when my children asked what an answering machine is....

  • @sonarharin3906
    @sonarharin3906 Месяц назад

    Oh, my God this is a treasure! 😂

  • @Gabzew
    @Gabzew 3 месяца назад

    this video is so funny thanks for the laughs lmao

  • @lindsey7951
    @lindsey7951 3 месяца назад

    We know what an answering machine is but thanks for explaining...

  • @NorthernChev
    @NorthernChev 3 месяца назад

    One of our very flamboyantly gay friends in my lifelong group of friends came out to us finally when we were all in our late 20s. He told us he had “just realized he was gay” and that he just HAD to tell us. We all stood around looking at him silently, when one of the other guys said, “…why didn’t you just ask US? We’ve known for years”. LOL.

  • @joshualupyan519
    @joshualupyan519 3 месяца назад

    I would listen to this like a song

  • @seitanbeatsyourmeat666
    @seitanbeatsyourmeat666 3 месяца назад

    That laugh at the end 😂😂

  • @digitalPisces818
    @digitalPisces818 3 месяца назад

    You are so f'ing funny 🤣Cheers!