It's been eight years since my husband's affair. We had been together since I was in high school. This is some thing I don't think I will ever be able to emotionally heal from.
I'm sorry you had to go through that, my husband had a 5 month affair a year ago. We've been married for more than 30 years. He never cheated before, it's a struggle for me, and I also don't think I will ever get over it.
@@SoulScribe43 I've done it. It's definitely possible. I feel like my husband and I have a decent marriage today. I'm not sure I would say it's healthier in all ways. I think we have learned what did and didn't work before. We will have been married 30 years next year. I forgave him and chose to stay with him for all the things he did right throughout our marriage. I think it's very important for couples to know the importance of communication and being completely open and honest with each other. Unfortunately, the scar will be there your entire life. Whether you stay or go.
@@SoulScribe43 also, definitely address any major issues you had pre-affair and make sure you're both on the same page and completely committed to change. I say this because a lot of people stay together for years and then the same issues pre-affair start to surface again. Obviously not a good situation.
I do not agree with you when you said, “Whatever your spouse does with their body has nothing to do with you.” To that statement I exclaim, “Bull$h!t !!!” What he does with his body certainly has everything to do with me: physically (possible STD/STIs and the need to be tested), psychologically (the emotional turmoil for hours, days, months, years, etc after D-day. The trauma to the children conceived in that union.
@@KittyMeowxxx-s8r one thing that helped me with this was remembering that he had already cheated before, knowing if it was going to be better or not anyway, so the damage was already done before there was any comparison that could've been made.
@@KittyMeowxxx-s8r one thing you will realize after many years.. is the thought of the sex isn't what keeps you stuck. For me anyway it was trying to reconnect and forget that he shared something that was supposed to just be between the two of you with somebody else. The physical part isn't what I struggle to get past. It's what he actually did to me not what he shared with her.
My ex´s AP would always send an email recounting the act, kind of like the minutes, after each time they had sex and I found those messages and those were one of the biggest moments of comedy in my life. It was stupid, over the top clumsy, unsophisticated, she would even say she wasn´t enjoying what she was doing but that she was doing it out of ¨tenderness¨. It´s desperate folks. If you like desperate then great. ¨50 shades of admin¨ for you. Leave the idiot and when it comes to sex I'm certain you will find better
when talking about sex after an affair it would also be worth mentioning that exactly the opposite can happen, the couple can rediscover sex and be absolutely obsessed with each other all over again and even more than ever, it is called hysterical bonding and it is not rare at all!
@@moonshine9836 I agree with this, however it doesn't last. Happens quite early after reconciliation, but then you have to deal with true raw feelings. At least that was my experience.
Sidenote... I do feel like I have forgiven my husband. It does upset me when people say if you have forgiven, you won't hurt anymore. My heart has tried telling my brain that for many years now. I understand affairs happen, but there needs to be more emphasis on the importance of preventing them because once the damage is done, you can't just forget.
It's been eight years since my husband's affair. We had been together since I was in high school. This is some thing I don't think I will ever be able to emotionally heal from.
I've been married 24 years to my high school BF, he cheated in 2023, I constantly worry emotionally I won't heal. But I'm trying we're still together.
Married after highschool, 40 years later she cheated. We're trying
I'm sorry you had to go through that, my husband had a 5 month affair a year ago. We've been married for more than 30 years. He never cheated before, it's a struggle for me, and I also don't think I will ever get over it.
@@SoulScribe43 I've done it. It's definitely possible. I feel like my husband and I have a decent marriage today. I'm not sure I would say it's healthier in all ways. I think we have learned what did and didn't work before. We will have been married 30 years next year. I forgave him and chose to stay with him for all the things he did right throughout our marriage. I think it's very important for couples to know the importance of communication and being completely open and honest with each other. Unfortunately, the scar will be there your entire life. Whether you stay or go.
@@SoulScribe43 also, definitely address any major issues you had pre-affair and make sure you're both on the same page and completely committed to change. I say this because a lot of people stay together for years and then the same issues pre-affair start to surface again. Obviously not a good situation.
I do not agree with you when you said, “Whatever your spouse does with their body has nothing to do with you.” To that statement I exclaim,
“Bull$h!t !!!” What he does with his body certainly has everything to do with me: physically (possible STD/STIs and the need to be tested), psychologically (the emotional turmoil for hours, days, months, years, etc after D-day. The trauma to the children conceived in that union.
It was better was the only logical conclusion my brain can make. 😢
@@KittyMeowxxx-s8r probably wasn't better. It was just empty and easy.
@@KittyMeowxxx-s8r one thing that helped me with this was remembering that he had already cheated before, knowing if it was going to be better or not anyway, so the damage was already done before there was any comparison that could've been made.
@@KittyMeowxxx-s8r one thing you will realize after many years.. is the thought of the sex isn't what keeps you stuck. For me anyway it was trying to reconnect and forget that he shared something that was supposed to just be between the two of you with somebody else. The physical part isn't what I struggle to get past. It's what he actually did to me not what he shared with her.
Dont even think that for a minute
My ex´s AP would always send an email recounting the act, kind of like the minutes, after each time they had sex and I found those messages and those were one of the biggest moments of comedy in my life. It was stupid, over the top clumsy, unsophisticated, she would even say she wasn´t enjoying what she was doing but that she was doing it out of ¨tenderness¨. It´s desperate folks. If you like desperate then great. ¨50 shades of admin¨ for you. Leave the idiot and when it comes to sex I'm certain you will find better
when talking about sex after an affair it would also be worth mentioning that exactly the opposite can happen, the couple can rediscover sex and be absolutely obsessed with each other all over again and even more than ever, it is called hysterical bonding and it is not rare at all!
@@moonshine9836 I agree with this, however it doesn't last. Happens quite early after reconciliation, but then you have to deal with true raw feelings. At least that was my experience.
Sidenote... I do feel like I have forgiven my husband. It does upset me when people say if you have forgiven, you won't hurt anymore. My heart has tried telling my brain that for many years now. I understand affairs happen, but there needs to be more emphasis on the importance of preventing them because once the damage is done, you can't just forget.
I'm trying to forgive as I would want to be forgiven. But
A lot of unwanted children are born that way.
❤