I had a blind gentleman at a nursing home I worked in Activities at. We took him on an outing to see the Christmas lights around town & listen to Christmas carols. We had workers telling us we were foolish for taking him because he was blind. We took him anyways & described things for him. He was grateful for us taking him & had a wonderful time. Even though he couldn't see things, he still could experience things. I never regretted our decision to take him.
When care workers don't understand disability, thenv they should really seek a new job. My aunt is deaf and in a nursing home and I swear some of the staff there do not understand deafness at all. It's not even that complicated but some people don't stop to think.
Thank you for taking him to see Christmas! Even if he was totally blind, he could still hear the carols, smell the trees, feel,the cold air, maybe snow on his face , listen to the excited crowds. And... I'll tell you a secret, if he has some vision left , the coloured lights are all soft and misty and blurred together , it's SO SO pretty! Almost magical. That's how the Christmas lights are for me 😊
@@Robespierre-lIso much this. I'm a disability support worker and it makes me fking furious that some other support workers just don't care enough to understand people's disabilities. Or essentially take control over their lives and give them little choice in what they want to do.
Those are great, for absolutely anything from trauma to disabilities, one of the ones I hear the most that makes me feel accepted is "that's helpful, thank you for letting me know." and then adding a specialized response like his example of "what/how much can you see?" or in my case "how is your range of motion?" there are so many great ways to openly accept people's abilities/disabilities AND ask questions without being rude.
I think you're right. Because everyone prefers to talk about their strengths rather than their weaknesses. It takes a lot of courage and trust to open up to someone about one's own weaknesses. Which I always appreciate and feel honoured about, if I am the person others entrust to.
☕️One of the strangest things I’ve been asked while out with my guide dog is “Is that a sight-seeing dog?” All I could think was no, he’s not a greyhound bus
So glad I don't have a coffee or I would have spit it out! It amazes me how badly people speak English, even when it's their first/only language! (I take my hat off to anyone who has learned English as another language - pretty much every rule has exceptions). Come to think of it, I can imagine my dyslexic friends mixing up words like that though.
In college I met a blind person for the first time and we became really good friends. Its nice to hear that I handled the first meeting very well. A mutual friend introduced us and the blind friend told me shes blind when I commented that her dog is really cute. I noticed she was looking right at me so I got curious and said "oh, so are you totally blind, or can you see a bit?". She got SO happy at how I asked, and the next thing I knew we were chatting about lots of things. If someone offers up a piece of information about themselves that you know very little about it can actually be a very kind thing to ask kind questions, and try to educate yourself more rather than to just make assumptions. Be curious, but always remember to be kind and respect the boundaries of others.🍵
When people say “you don’t look blind” it is probably because often times blind people that more than likely have been blind from birth have their eyes looking all over the place, as well as their head moving all over the place as well.
I work at a counseling office and we have a new client who reported they were blind. Because of your videos, I was able to call them and ask what accommodations we should make to give them the amount of independence they wanted and the most dignity possible. The new client was so appreciative of having the open conversation and being able to tell me their boundaries of what was and was not okay. Thank you so much!!!
Just what Matthew, Paul, and Mr. Maple want to hear! Their goal is to educate. They obviously succeeded with you, and you, in turn, educated your coworkers. This is how viral concepts function, which is exactly Matthew's, Paul's, and Maple's intention.
Or if you really wanna be snarky you can say "And you don't look ignorant but here we are." No, don't actually do that unless they're being an absolute jerk about it. It would be satisfying to do though.
I'm totally blind in bright light (such as a sunny winter day), but can see extremely well in dim and dark conditions. I was in Union Station in Toronto, and lost my way when I got to the grand hall. I could see shapes, but it was painful to keep my eyes open for long. I stopped, put both hands on top of my white cane, and waited for assistance. A gent came along and said "You look lost. Can I help?" I thanked him, and asked for help finding the kiosk to buy train tickets. He said "Oh sure," then turned and pointed, saying "It's just over the..." and trailed off before looking back at me. I let the pause hang there for a moment longer than I needed to, then said "I am partially sighted, so pointing is helpful." He relaxed, and said "Oh thank God. I'm sorry, I'm so embarrassed." He then continued his directions, and I was able to continue my journey, and we both got a smile.☕
☕ The "caretaking the other person's sympathy" phrase hit me right in the gut. I feel like I have to do that a lot. I've been through a lot of things that the vast majority of people can't relate to, and to have to stand there and smile and nod while they try to relate and make you feel better when inside you just want to scream and tell them to just stop talking is so hard.
So true… I have had my disability for 22 years now and did OK with caretaking the other person’s reaction or sympathy for about the first 20 years… I’m just exhausted of it at this point
The "I'm sorry" thing is hitting hard. As someone with a chronic illness that will never be cured, I actually more get "get over it" or "you're making it up" because it's an invisible illness. But I don't want I'm sorry either... I just want "is there anything you need help with right now" or something. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to pass out in public and if I ask for help, I get brushed off...
same, when people say "i'm sorry" or "my condolences", i actually dont quite know what to say back. Like... thanks i guess? sure its kind of a hell having a disability but i live! for the past 20+ years xD disabled people adapt to their conditions, so who are you saying sorry to exactly? there isn't a way for us to get better other than work around it lol
Oh, I hear you! hEDS, dysautonomia, and the rest of that package. If I had a loonie (Canadian dollar coin) for every time someone said they’re sorry I’d have enough to cover the $1,500 over the insurance coverage on my new custom titanium wheelchair and option. (It’s $7,000 benefits are paying about $5,500)
#3 is so important! I use a wheelchair due to spina bifida and I used to use crutches. People would tell me "oh I know how you feel! I broke my ankle once and had to use crutches for a while." I get why people say that. I really do. I'm sure breaking a bone is a miserable experience while you're recovering, but it hurts to hear it compared to my disability. Spina bifida has affected my entire life and my entire body. People also used to tell me, "if I had your disability/your life, I would curl up and d1e." My life is hard in a lot of ways, but telling me you'd rather d1e than live like me is really hurtful.
Also had the "oh if I were you id just give up" comment, can confirm it is horrible thing to hear, especially when I was more visibly disabled as a literal child, its honestly the worst thing to hear.
One I get a LOT is "I hope you feel better soon." I mean . . . thanks. I won't, since my disability is both chronic and permanent. But I will have better days than others.
🫂I'm sorry to hear that people react that way. It's awful. And no, a temporary inconvenience is nothing like having a life time of pain/hardships. You're 💯 right.
@@joray5756 yes! This exactly! "Have you tried Advil?" Ummmm, the fentnyl patch, Norco, and chemo for the last 22 years vs your Advil suggestion. That must be the cure!
Oh my gosh, I have so much I want to say to you. My oldest daughter is deaf and my youngest high functioning autistic (and more, her list is long...). I love that you take situations and make it into a "teachable moment" and spread awareness. They both hear- well, one hears- "you don't look _____" and I try so hard to encourage them to be open. As their mom, I hear all the time "Oh, I'm sorry." It's amazing how many people have misconceptions but are open for understanding. Thank you for this video. It helps support me with them. The main thank you I want to give you and Matthew is demonstrating a green flag relationship. I didn't grow up in a healthy home and I married a someone equally unhealthy. My youngest told me today that she loves watching your interactions and that is what she wants in a relationship. It takes a village, and thank you for being such a wonderful influence.☕☕
I remember in high school, we had a presentation in the auditorium by a blind person, sharing their experiences, and teaching a bit how to be understanding and so on. At the end, he asked if anyone had any questions, and one person raised their hand. It took everyone a few moments to realize why that wouldn't work.
To the third point, I’ve been in chronic pain & exhaustion for 20 years, undiagnosed for the first 10. I’ve had people complain about how tired they are when there are some days I can’t eat or physically move because of being so exhausted. Honestly the most support I’ve ever had (apart from my partner & family) was from a guy I knew in high school, we were friends of friends not actually close at all. He asked about the wheelchair I was having to use for long distance, he listened to me rant (which I’d never really done before) and he said “wow, that sucks” I felt so heard! He didn’t offer any anecdotes, or suggestions that could “fix me” (which I usually get) he just listened. That same night a girl I knew but also wasn’t close with, who was significantly shorter than me when I stood, & was smaller than me in general, insisted on pushing my fat ass over cobblestones in my chair so I could be part of the fun. I was feeling guilty & she just told me I was going to have fun. She was so sweet.
I have chronic pain as well - daily headaches/frequent migraines. When I tell someone, they often complain about how much headaches suck or oh yea I have migraines. -_- I was 21yo when I learned it wasn't "normal" to have daily headaches. I have a 4-6 pain scale headache at any random time. That's my norm. When I went on medication that worked until it gave me a secondary condition, I had 4 days over a few years with no headache. The first day? I was panicking because my head didn't feel like it was mine.
☕️ I’m blind and I travel alone. I am always surprised by how kind strangers can be. ❤️ You hit this one out of the park!! I love your sweet heart shines through. I would also add don’t grab people or their belongings when trying to help 😂 when people come up behind me to help me with something and grab my arm or bag, I think I’m being mugged.
Too many people don't know not to grab at people. Happens to my friend all the time. (She once had her coffee taken out of her hand while on her way to work. Seriously, what the heck was he thinking he was doing to "help" her....)
As a disabled person myself I understand that there are certain things you just don’t say to disabled people, including the blind community. But this video taught even me some lessons about what not to say and some fine alternatives. Thanks Paul. ❤
☕️Paul, not only was this a 100% delightful coffee chat but it was an absolutely excellent education and description of what many people with a variety of disabilities deal with and would like to say. I am not blind, but I do live with a chronic illness & disabilities. Like you I have made a lot of adjustments as needed and am living my best life. Thank you, Paul. I’m going to recommend this video to friends & family. More, please, on any topic.🤗💖
Hi Paul! I loved this coffee date 🤩! This one hit home for me 😊. I work in retail, and almost 2 years ago, an older lady came to my till not long after I started my new job in a large store. I was told by one person who was helping to guide her if needed that she had trouble seeing anything and is legally blind. I rang everything through, and she went to get her purse to pay, but she had to be guided a couple of times where her hands needed to go to find her wallet. She went to hand me the money, and I gently told her that I had my hands underneath hers. She let go, I got her change, went to pass her the money, and she reached out for it. She was guided to where my hand was (verbally and I made the change rattle a bit for auditory reference) and I told her that I was going to drop it in her hand so it didn't startle her. She thanked me for being so kind and patent with her situation and I looked right at her and said verbatim, "It's important to me that everyone is treated with respect and kindness whether they have an obvious (or not) physical, mental, or emotional issue." The people with her were surprised and said that not many people had as much patience and kindness in retail anymore. It isn't always obvious that someone is blind, in pain, or suffering from something, so be kind and respectful 😊 ☕️.
This!!! Just be kind! I feel like it's harder not to be -- I've had days when I got short-tempered and snapped a bit at someone and I feel bad about it for at least the rest of the day. If you're super mean first all bets are off though, lol. (Ha, actually when I've been having a bad day and reciprocated meanness I still felt awful so just be kind anyway!! Or at least say sorry if you lost it for a sec.)
☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️ Paul, I LOVED your coffee chat! I have a neighbor in my apartment complex who lives on the same floor I do. When I met him, he looked straight at me so I couldn't tell he was legally blind until he told me. I would NEVER tell anyone "I'm sorry" because they're blind or disabled in any way. If they ask for help, I help them. If I see that they need help, I offer to help them. I don't ask them about their condition. If they offer information then I may ask about it. I have GREAT respect and admiration for you, Paul. I have GREAT admiration for your craft and for your positivity. You are a GREAT and LUMINOUS being, kind, sweet patient, gracious, and everything that's GOOD! I LOVE you! ❤❤❤❤❤
I better get over my habit of saying “I’m sorry”. But the sorry I say is more of a “I’m sorry I didn’t realise you were blind. I’m so stupid!!”. Thank you for sharing what to do instead and spreading awareness. I find advice like that very helpful!
If you have an impulse to apologize, you could phrase it like, "oh, sorry, I didn't realize." And then you could follow up with asking about their blindness and how you can help.
Thank you, this was so helpful. I have chronic pain for 20 years. When I talk about it, I'm sharing my experince like it's interesting. I get "I'm sooo sorry." I hate it as well because I'm handling it. I respond with an easy "It is what it is." Knowing what to say instead of "I'm sorry" is really helpful.
Hi. I'm blind, from the UK. Couple of other things not to ask! "Can't you have surgery?" Ummmmm yes, I merely choose to remain blind!! "Are you training that dog?" Yes. He's 7 years old, his harness handle clearly says he's a working guide dog, but he's in training cos he's the dumbest pup in the class!!!!!!! (Please forgive the British sarcasm lol) Also PLEASE do not feed our dogs. And the "do not distract me" sign, the knowledge you have when you say "I know I shouldn't" when you grab him or let him when he's working, taking me across a road, you've no idea the danger you put me in. We know you love dogs. We know you find our clever dogs fascinating. We're mostly happy to answer your questions, about them. Just please do it safely. ❤❤
☕️☕️☕️. THANK YOU! As a blind person, all of these were dead on the nose for me. The biggest being sighted people saying right over there. I just laugh and say that is singularly unhelpful! I would offer a #4 directed towards my fellow blind folks. Don't gatekeep blindness. As Paul said, it's a spectrum and each of us have our individual challenges. There is one person in my care home who actually has much better vision than many others yet she will angrily yell IM BLIND whenever someone annoys her or walks within 5 ft of her . Drives us all crazy haha. 😂. She has learned not to holler at me though because I holler right back SO AM I! 😂😂
I appreciate this so much! I have an invisible disability, and I never thought about what would be a good response instead of 'I'm sorry' when people find out. 'Thank you for telling me,' is perfect! It's exactly what I would like to hear. 'Is there anything you'd like me to know, or anything I can do that would help,' would also be fantastic. Someone recently asked me, 'Is there anything I should avoid saying or doing?' which was also really appreciated. But: 'thank you for telling me,' would be so good to hear, because it's always such a gut-churning gamble, choosing to share that information with new people.
I love the education and insight you're providing! Honestly, most of us who are sighted are rather clueless about blindness unless we either have a blind loved one or work in the blindness field. I had an amazing introduction into the world of blindness from my boss, who also has RP. I had no idea she was blind until my first day of work and I got to shadow her and see how she ran the state services for the blind. It was a life changing experience for me and she remains one of my most respected, beloved friends. What you're teaching people is wonderful.
My vision is only corrected to 20/100 with glasses. This means I'm not legally blind but I still identify as blind because I still can't get a drivers license. And I still have to use accessible equipment like a magnifier or CCTV to work or do things around the house. And yes please don't tell people you don't look blind! I hate that so much. Paul you and Mr Maple are great!
The advice to respond with 'thank you for telling me' then asking whatever question may be relevant, is really sound. Especially since disabilities are such a personal experience, it should be at the discretion of that person when it needs to be given particular attention. Great ☕️ chat!!
These are all great and I agree with all of them. I would like to add that you do not need to avoid saying look or see. Some poor woman in a class I was taking was waiting at the door for me one week because at our previous class, she said, “do you see what I’m saying,“ and had been eating herself alive for the entire week because she felt so bad about saying “see” in front of me. Someone had told her that was a horrible thing to say then, I felt horrible, because she felt so bad about saying something that had no effect on me whatsoever. Then later I found out there’s a list out there of things not to say to blind people and it was a really stupid list. Unlike this one which is very helpful.
☕️This is so helpful! My mom is not blind, but deaf in one ear, and I have struggled to empathize with her because I don’t have a disability, let alone an invisible disability. I will definitely think more about what I’m saying to people with disabilities.😅 Thank you for being such a kind educator on social media! ❤
Hi Paul! This is my contribution to your coffee talk, lol! ☕☕☕This post is mostly stream-of-consciousness typing and certainly isn't well organized. Anyway, this is a different disability, but I'm hard of hearing/deaf (lower case d). I wear hearing aids. While my struggles are not exactly the same, I feel like a lot of your points overlap with things that I struggle with as well. #1: I always love the way that Paul educates people. He tries not to be condescending and always tries to give people the benefit of doubt--no mean intentions, just ignorance/obliviousness. For "You don't look blind" -- I think people tend to blurt it out because the disability doesn't fit into their expectations since media typically portrays very specific and dramatic cases. I feel like a similar experience that I have is that people say things like, "You don't SOUND deaf" (implying speech impairment/nonverbal) as if people can't learn to talk and lose their hearing gradually over time. I am unsure how a blind person like Paul would react, but I think you can also turn this into a positive statement by saying, "Oh, you're really good at holding eye contact!" This segues into learning more about their disability if you feel like you are able to actually spend time chatting with the person... This isn't for every situation though, since sometimes people just want to move on with their lives (both sides). #2: I think that a lot of people are afraid of asking too much about disabilities, but this really hinders the general population's understanding of how disabilities work. No, MOST of us are not going to be offended if you ask how you can accommodate us better, especially if you have no clue! Just show a willingness to learn and be empathetic. Sometimes, one little question goes a long way. My boss asked me if it was okay for him to call me to answer quick questions, and I told him that I prefer a heads up (e.g. a text asking "can I call you real quick?") so that I can make sure I am wearing my hearing aids or have live captioning turned on. He was super nervous about asking this, but it made me so happy that he did, and then he sounded relieved that "it looks like [he] asked the right question." #3: I commonly tell people that I'm deaf to warn them that I will likely miss things/ask them to repeat things, or I'll just have my S/O talk or repeat things instead. Far too often, people reply with something like, "Oh, it's ok! I'm pretty deaf too" or "my hearing sucks too" like that's supposed to make me feel better for having an actual disability... Why? Is that supposed to make me feel better? The person is trying to relate to make me feel better, but most of the time, it's not even actually comparable??? When this happens, I usually just let the conversation fall off/move on, because what else is supposed to come out of it? You tried to relate and fell short. I know it's well-intentioned, but what am I supposed to say?! You know what's even worse? When people say, "oh that must be nice; you're able to just tune everyone out." What they don't realize is how draining it is just existing in what is "normal" for able-people/the general population. The threshold of tolerance is lower because we are not used to having our senses overwhelmed like that, or it takes far more concentration to go about a normal day. I also don't look for sympathy, so as I said in #2, I think the best thing to do is ask how you can better accommodate a disability, because that shows that you care far more than anything else.
seriously man, thank you for doing this. I really appreciate people who represent us well while talking on our behalf. And I think you succeed in this because you have a lot of empathy and understanding. I get really frustrated too sometimes but this is generally how I like to approach these situations as well so it's nice to know I'm not alone. we express these kinds of things in our own ways, and while I think it's totally valid I don't believe that sarcasm or anger really help as they tend to turn people off even if it's a good point the blind person is making. so thank you for being a good example to others and using your platform to advocate an effective way. saying all that, I for one really hope you do more of these because you're exactly the right kind of person for it in my opinion.
☕️ I have EDS, which is a hidden disability, and until you said these things, especially "I'm sorry", i never really thought about how i dont really like when people say that to me. So interesting how some of these phrases can be related to others with disabilities.
Just found your channel and appreciate it so much. I’ve been dealing with my own vision issues for the last four years, with three retinal detachments, double vision, serials retinopathy, and central blindness in both eyes after a micro stroke at my optical nerves. Yout positive attitude and open communication around your blindness is inspiring and such a help to me in my own joutnary with legal blindness. Thank you pu so much. I’m enjoying your channel.
☕️ I am a Rally Obedience judge and I judged a blind handler once. She did have an aid for the walk through but did the course alone. She was able to see shapes/outlines pretty well so there was a low chance she would trip over any signs/obstacles which was my primary concern. At the level she was at you leave your dog to go collect your leash and then return. The leash is generally put on a table but I had asked if it would be easier if a person were to hold it. She wanted to do it the same way as everyone else (and she nailed that course!). I’m happy to hear I handled the situation correctly. In the end I told her to tell me what she would need to be successful and we would accommodate :) . Thank you for sharing all this. I never thought to thank the person for telling me they were blind as opposed to saying “I’m sorry”. I’m also Canadian so I would likely say both lol!!
I saw a video where a chap took his blind best friend to a deserted beach and let him drive.. he had so much fun. Reminded me of when you ran through the field and on the beach....
Youre sapose to explain where items are with "a little forward and to your left" "keep going two more feet, yes" And my neighbor was able to find the bench outside. You need to be very descriptive and patient. THANK YOU Paul for helping people by explaining this! I love your channel. I use the volunteer app to help blind people around the world with tasks throughout the day, theres so many volunteers i rarely get a call.
I ran into your videos right about the time that my VA retina specialist told me I was blind in my right eye from an injury that kept oxygen from getting to my cornea. I always thought blindness was a complete lack of seeing...a black depth. I can see form, light and dark, no print...I know there is a black line. When I look at you, I see a grey blob and a grey spreading out like a coral reef ? or a stencil ? It will never get better, but they are working to try to keep it from getting worse. I actually go tomorrow for another needling..yeah, just what it sounds like. I cannot express how much your videos have helped me to accept my circumstances. It will not spread to my other eye or put undue strain on it, so I am grateful. I cussed like the sailor I was when told about it. I am a painter, a quilter, a reader, a knitter and was afraid I would lose the ability to do these things. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us.
My older brother [now passed] was born with a problem with vision in his left eye. His right eye was perfect, so he wasn't even legally blind, he was sighted.He told me that the vision in his left eye was very very blurry, but he could see color, light and dark, movement, but NO detail. It was not corrected with glasses or contact, but he fared fine. He got a drivers license, but the mirror on the driver side door was useless to him. I spent many a car ride with him stepping on an imaginary brake, but he never had an accident or even a minor fender bender.I very much enjoy this channel, your outings with Mr. Maple, Matthew's pranks and your willingness to educate the public on blindness. Mr. Maple is a very smart pup and I love when you show us his work.
Oh your brothers vision sounds like mine except i see maybe like 60% on my right. If he could get a drivers license then maybe i could too. Though i'd have hard to trust myself so definitely wouldn't want to have a fast vehicle lol
@@nardalis4832 He got his license when he was 16. [Canada] His right eye was perfect vision. Some people were surprised he was allowed to drive, but he could see, so he wasn't denied.
So nice chatting with you Paul. Thanks for sharing these thoughts with us. It's helpful to hear these alternative suggestions. For example my late boyfriend Colin was totally blind. Instead of saying "it's right there" (as his Mom said), when he asked for the salt, he suggested saying "it's at 12 o'clock to your plate". His Mom never accepted his disability which flabbergasted me! Loved this video and of course Mr. Maple's interjections. ❤🐾 ☕
My aunt was born with ocular albinism making her legally blind. She navigates her blindness differently than the media represents. Her blindness has always been just a normal part of our lives. Which is great, but I also feel a little bad that I just let it be a background thing and it never occurred to me to educate myself on it any further than her speaking about her experience. Tbh, I didn't even know much about ocular albinism until recently, I just knew it was the thing that made my aunt blind. All this really long thing to say, thank you Paul. Your channel and your stories have helped to both educate me, and spark a genuine want to educate myself. I am very grateful that you share your stories and that we get to be a part, no matter how significant, of your story. 💚☕️
☕ LOVE This coffee time!❤ Growing up as a “seeing guide daughter” with my mom being low vision and night blind when I was four, then legally blind in my teens I can attest to all the funny things that happen. Never, ever move spices in kitchen cupboards when you live with a blind or low vision person! I’m now an ambulatory wheelchair user and so excited to be getting my first custom titanium wheelchair. I’m like a 5 year old kid waiting fora bike on my birthday. Having people say they’re sorry that I’m getting a $7,000 custom piece of medical equipment that = freedom (with shiny purple accents, and a comfy low back custom bent to fit, and a $700+ cushion made by my favourite backcountry hiking equipment company), … well it kind of dampens the mood. Instead of sharing the coolness with them I’m left with supporting their emotional needs. A few times people have prayed that I don’t need my chair. Then it’s awkward. Get excited with me. Ask questions about wheelchairs. It’s wheelie wheelie fun. 😊
I just found you two and Paul, you make me laugh! You are so honest and pure! I have friends who have a blind daughter and it has never held her back. She rode in bike marathons with her dad, paddle boarded and is now in college. It is a disability but doesn't need to be a handicap, as you have proven. Love your videos!!! Keep on!
☕️Loved this! Very informative. But the biggest takeaway has to be Paul’s compassion towards others, easily assuming that people most often have good intentions. That’s a good way to live a life. ❤
☕ Paul, that was the absolute best coffee story time ever. I almost always have a cuppa in my hand, but watched this at one in the morning lol. I still pretended I did as I talked and laughed with you. I cannot wait for more of these!
Those are all great points and as a blind person I can totally relate. So yes I have been pushing a grocery cart with my cane being held to the side of the cart. I had a guy who got my cane tip caught by the wheel of his cart. ☕️
I have an interesting scenario that I have experienced with a Guide dog. Several years ago, I went to a camp for kids that had disabilities. I was on my way to becoming a Jr. Counselor, so this camp held 4 weeks of camp, 2 weeks for the kids that were blind, 1 week for the deaf kids, and 1 week for the kids who had autism. During the 2 weeks with the blind kids, was so amazing, these kids were extremely independent. Well one day they had a whole day for the crew that worked with Service dogs for the blind. They introduced the dogs to the kids and they had no idea that this was available to them. I was incredibly nervous being that I am profoundly deaf., I got cochlear implants when I was 23. I wore hearing aids before that. The lady that told me to place my hand on the dog’s harness was supper patient with me. I had to close my eyes and she said, Trust in yourself and the dog, he/she will guide you. My first thought was I have no idea how I would go about being deaf and losing my vision. I knew it would be a new journey and experience. I was afraid because I couldn’t hear then had to pretend I was blind with my eyes shut and the dog knew I didn’t feel comfortable so the dog was uncomfortable. The dog and I didn’t make it very far because of the disconnect. Mr. Maple, I don’t know if you get alot of comments directly, but I wanted to commend and thank you for your Service! You are a blessing to Paul and I am honored to be able to see you as a participant in the videos of Paul and Mathew! To the three of you thank you for sharing the videos and the bond you all share! 😊🎉❤
Not blind here but with other disabilitys that can't be treated (Autism and ADHD) and point three hit home to me alot lol, i Often have days where i can barely speak or function and people compare it to a brain fart and fumblig over a few words then being able to carry on anf they use that to be like "so I totally get it" And I'm over here with extremely frustrating non speaking episodes and it honestly gets so so annoying However, side note, I do personally enjoy it when other disabled people tell me their disabilities and we share both our experiences, I like it because it helps you feel less alone as a disabled person
☕️ You make such good long form videos! I am learning a lot about the blind experience and how different /similar it is to my deaf experience. I love your vibes and you have a great balance of speaking informally, as well as using better vocabulary than me! I'm jealous, lol. Keep doing these and we will keep watching, because you are helping to educate us as well as sharing your glowing personality! Thank you!
Thank you for saying & sharing this! I totally learned something new! I have chronic migraines and I tell people when I have really bad migraines so they know why I’m not talking or have to put my sunglasses on even though we’re indoors or have to leave early. I don’t want them to feel it was them or that I don’t like them or something. It’s a “it’s me, not you”, kind of situation! But I hate telling them because I get the, “I’m so sorry” response. I don’t want their sympathy, I’m just letting them know the situation so they understand why I’m acting the way I am. I would love to hear the response you suggested, “thanks for sharing.” Thank you for sharing your story, thoughts and experiences being blind. I think it’s great you’re bringing more awareness to this. ❤
As someone in a wheelchair I get frustrated with people tell me they are "impressed" or they "admire" the fact that I work. Yes I work full time and support myself and my son and support my own household.
You're a natural story teller! So animated, detailed, and well-spoken in a story time way, I would binge your story times for hours if there was enough to
I actually did this when I first found them. I was so sick with vertigo! I could not life my head off the pillow. But I loved their show so much I literally played there videos back to back and caught them all up! Paul and Matthew your videos bring me joy and laughter, give me tips and show me that my life to could be full thanks!
☕️ OMG that selfie stick comment has me in stitches! 😂 And living with my legally blind boyfriend whilst having low vision myself, life gets very interesting sometimes… 😂
☕️ I really like this format whether it’s story time or something informative. You’re a very good speaker and easy to listen too. Thanks for all the info!
My co-worker has a visual impairment/blindness. Thank you for making this video. I had customers come up to me or my supervisor asking us questions and not ask my co-worker because they assumed my co-worker doesn't know anything when he knows more than most of staff.
Hi Paul! Thanks for the tips! I can apply some of those tips in my own life to deaf people (my mum and family). I would like to react to #3 though. It is trying to relate first, but I understand it is like not acknowledging you're situation. I don't want to complain here, but I also want to be seen and acknowledged, just like you. I'm very aware I have been very lucky with my health, my personality, my life. I feel I have not much to complain about, especially compared to other people. But dealing with someone with a disability is like putting yourself behind them and therefore losing out on acknowledgement yourself or put differently yourself disappearing into the general public as not notable, because you're fine. Even when you are dealing with your own problems, which pretty much all adults are. So when someone says: "Oh, I know how you feel!" Please, forgive us, we're just trying to not drown in a crowd of mediocrity.
As a person with an invisible disability, people often say, I'm sorry. But I also encourage people to be positive because a positive attitude makes huge differences in recovery or learning to live with it. 😊
Yeah. I wish people would allow me to just be realistic, rather than pushing me to be positive all the time. Being realistic isn't the same as giving up.
I am married to a totally blind man and he tells everyone we meet not to change the way they talk. He will tell them he watches TV, we travel a lot overseas and in Australia and he sees things through my eyes. I describe things to him. It doesn’t worry him if people ask him how he became blind, he knows that they are just interested. I have never heard anyone apologise to him for being blind which is a good thing.☕️
I just love your sweet attitude!! Your laugh makes me smile. Thank you for educating us about blindness! I have a disability too and need a service dog for my ptsd, but since she's a corgi, people can be.. confused as to why a corgi can be a valid service dog. I want to mention something that *might* be comforting when people are so insensitive and say "well, you don't look blind." Maybe they're trying to make you feel better, or like you're a part of things - like they're trying to say you fit right in with everyone.. maybe not, but maybe! ❤ But regardless! I know I'm glad you're part of this world!
You are truly an inspiration to all of us out (& some not so out) here. After 2 operations to fix a broken hip, I use the sit-down electric shopping carts a lot, & I love it when children come up to ask me if they can help me get something off a shelf my arm extension grabber can't reach. I've learned to find their parent in order to thank the child in front of the parent. Keep explaining about the spectrum of all manner of disabilities. Keep educating. (I'm too old to know where to look for a coffee emoji, so I would add one if I could.)
☕ and one for you! ☕ This was great! Thank you for storytime! I think the biggest issue is how we fundamentally view people with disabilities. The world was not made for them, which means accommodations need to be made in many cases, but it doesn't make them less of a person or someone to be pitied. They are people just like everyone else and the sooner we are able to recognize that, the sooner we can avoid these awkward situations.
I recently came across your channel when one of your videos popped up in my recommended. Out of curiosity I clicked on the video. I've watched a few here and there and some of the shorts. The two of you sometimes crack me up and other times I am just amazed by the stories you share. I have often wanted to ask someone about their disability to gain a better understanding of that disability. But I don't because I don't want to offend or bring up a past trauma. I just want to say thank you for sharing your story and for educating us. And reminding us that regardless of one's limitations life can still be lived to the fullest. ☕
☕️ I love it love the format, I try to be positive too. I too am blind and I too use a guide dog. I try to be as independent as I can and educate where I can to those around me. I also advocate for Accessibility for those who are disabled or physically challenged in anyway. Paul I love you for being positive. Keep it up. Blindness isn’t a sentence. It’s just a way to change your thought process and how you do things. I am going on a cruise out of Seattle next May and everyone has asked me why I’m spending so much money to go on a cruise when I’m blind. I tell them I want to see what I can as I still have a little bit of vision. Don’t know how long that will last but that’s OK. And besides there’s more than your eyesight to have an experience it’s the feelings the sounds the smells. It’s the energy you get from it so I don’t think I’m wasting any money. Be safe and be safe as you make your travels to the city or as I call them “ McKee and me Adventures” Who
Hi Paul and Matthew. I recently came across your channel and while I haven't actively set out to do it, have ended up binge watching quite a bit of your content. Firstly I want to say that you guys seem to be such a great couple, I love how fun and energetic you both are. Matthew your pranks are hilarious and Paul's belly laugh when he realises what is going on, gets me every time. Such simple honest fun. Thank you! I can't say that I've really been exposed to anyone in my life being blind and really didn't realise some of the intricacies you discuss in your videos. The way you educate everyone through humour is addictive and makes a person want to know more even if the subject has no bearing on them. Secondly, Paul, considering the challenges that you have experienced in your life during your sight journey, you could have travelled to where you are now by a very different route had your outlook on life been different. You could have been a completely different person had you let those challenges overwhelm you. I'm sure you have had some dark days (pun intended), and not that I can or should presume to know you, but you appear to have come through with this inner resilience and light in you that shines for the world to see. I think when people say to you that you don't look blind, it is because all they can see is that light shining out of you and they are the ones blinded to the fact that you are blind because of that light. Of course your gorgeous eyes could also have something to do with it! (Don't worry Matthew, it's just a compliment 😉). Lastly I just wanted to say thank you for the education, the laughter, the stories (I so love a good story teller - There are too few people in this world who understand the art of turning their day into a story and sharing anecdotes - Please don't stop) and of course we can't forget Mr Maple, the star of the show! Keep the wonderful content coming ❤
This was so helpful... you not only help the blind community but now those of us who don't have much interaction with people who have a special need & we wouldn't know how to respond. You're letting us know just to say a simple thank you, can work in so many different situations with people in general but also with people who have special needs. Thanks for your great informative story :)
What a lovely treat to share a moment around coffee; that improv minute was adorable. Not to undermine all the rest that was said; also live with a different set of abilities. Your spontaneity and bubbliness is infectious. Love it
My college friend B is blind. A bunch of the college buddies were decorating for a baby shower, and B asked where the scissors were. I pointed and said, "over there." Of course there was a lot of derisive laughter from my other friends, especially after I explained that I had forgotten that she was blind. (B was delighted.) Not 10 minutes later, B asked where the streamers were. My friend M pointed and said, "over there." Cue more laughter and a lot of "See? See? It's not just me...." because M had forgotten that B was blind too.... ☕Love your channel.
Lol I role-play with him and he was saying every time every time and I was like oh my God that’s so true and then he said you’re so delightful and I was like oh and now I’m having a better day
I'm not blind like you or Molly are; I also follow, but I do have a disability of my own where I hear that 'I'm so sorry' quite often, too. I immediately ask them, 'Well, why are you sorry? It's not like you caused it.' Then I go into 'think of it this way, it's something I've always known, for me it won't get better or worse, it just is. It's me, what I deal with, but it doesn't make up who I am. I'm not missing out on anything I could do before because I've never had that.' But I often tell them they should instead ask other things rather than just going into that because many of us don't like hearing it.
I know it's been about 5 months and your probably not gonna read this but your just so awsome, your the kind of person who could get someone whos shy, or maybe anxious or even traumatized to open up to you, your videos make me so happy ever time I see anything from your channel. Genuinely wish I had someone like you in my live, and I don't even know you personally, keep being awesome ❤ Also ☕
☕ Thank you Paul! I am a newbie to your channel, and I am so grateful to hear about you and your outlook on life. Thank you for sharing, and for teaching me good etiquette around a blind or otherwise differently abled person. I look forward to hearing much more from you in the future. 😊
Thank you Paul, for educating us from a blind persons perspective. It’s really made me think of what I say, not just to a blind person but to anyone. It comes from a good place but sometimes we do say inappropriate things. I think you are an absolutely wonderful person. You ooze kindness ❤️❤️
As a person with RP too, I recognized a lot of the situations and laughed out loud 😂 I think the sorry part, the comparing and the taking over part are the most annoying things to do. I have very limited night vision and a lot of people want to hold me firm and guide me like a child. But mostly I can move around by myself. Except for unfamiliar or really dark places.
I haven't met and don't know anyone who is blind, but thank you so much for sharing this. Now I know what not to say if or when I ever meet someone who is blind!
Bravo! Well done! Great points, and from browsing these comments, it looks like you are making an incredible impact! This type of education for the public is so needed. Like you said, these are all things that we are not taught in school. ☕️
I totally get #3! I’m disabled with 2 progressive autoimmune diseases and have had so many surgeries I can’t count. I’ve also had major spinal reconstructions where they broke apart poor autofusions (fusions my body did itself) and put me back together with titanium and cadaver bone (waist to bottom of neck). Even a family member who knows this recently said she understood because she pulled a muscle in her back and spent a week in bed and on the couch. A WEEK of pain and rest vs. a lifetime of intractable pain, surgeries, constant doctor’s appointments, and not being able to work for 20 years! Most people don’t know what I’m going through because I don’t talk about it (no one wants to hear you talk about your pain, and after the first couple of years, I didn’t want to talk about it either). If someone told me they were blind, I wouldn’t poor out my story and say it’s the same! I might say that I’m also a member of the disability community, but each experience is different. If someone told me they had they a similar surgery or same diagnosis (which happened w/diagnosis recently), I’d say, “Me too!” But even those experiences are totally different!
I had a blind gentleman at a nursing home I worked in Activities at. We took him on an outing to see the Christmas lights around town & listen to Christmas carols. We had workers telling us we were foolish for taking him because he was blind. We took him anyways & described things for him. He was grateful for us taking him & had a wonderful time. Even though he couldn't see things, he still could experience things. I never regretted our decision to take him.
When care workers don't understand disability, thenv they should really seek a new job.
My aunt is deaf and in a nursing home and I swear some of the staff there do not understand deafness at all.
It's not even that complicated but some people don't stop to think.
Thank you for taking him to see Christmas! Even if he was totally blind, he could still hear the carols, smell the trees, feel,the cold air, maybe snow on his face , listen to the excited crowds. And... I'll tell you a secret, if he has some vision left , the coloured lights are all soft and misty and blurred together , it's SO SO pretty! Almost magical. That's how the Christmas lights are for me 😊
@@WaiferThyme That's what we told the workers that thought it was crazy to take him
Really enjoyed!! 🦋☕
@@Robespierre-lIso much this. I'm a disability support worker and it makes me fking furious that some other support workers just don't care enough to understand people's disabilities. Or essentially take control over their lives and give them little choice in what they want to do.
"Thank you for telling me" or "Thank you for sharing that" is always a great thing to say when someone shares something difficult or personal.
Those are great, for absolutely anything from trauma to disabilities, one of the ones I hear the most that makes me feel accepted is "that's helpful, thank you for letting me know." and then adding a specialized response like his example of "what/how much can you see?" or in my case "how is your range of motion?"
there are so many great ways to openly accept people's abilities/disabilities AND ask questions without being rude.
“Mama, kudos for saying that, for spilling”
😅
I think you're right. Because everyone prefers to talk about their strengths rather than their weaknesses. It takes a lot of courage and trust to open up to someone about one's own weaknesses.
Which I always appreciate and feel honoured about, if I am the person others entrust to.
☕️One of the strangest things I’ve been asked while out with my guide dog is “Is that a sight-seeing dog?” All I could think was no, he’s not a greyhound bus
🤣😂😅
😂
So glad I don't have a coffee or I would have spit it out! It amazes me how badly people speak English, even when it's their first/only language! (I take my hat off to anyone who has learned English as another language - pretty much every rule has exceptions).
Come to think of it, I can imagine my dyslexic friends mixing up words like that though.
On vacation, he is a sight-seeing dog!
lol
I love how you give your listeners a chance to talk. That's so self-aware and caring! You're delightful!
In college I met a blind person for the first time and we became really good friends. Its nice to hear that I handled the first meeting very well. A mutual friend introduced us and the blind friend told me shes blind when I commented that her dog is really cute. I noticed she was looking right at me so I got curious and said "oh, so are you totally blind, or can you see a bit?". She got SO happy at how I asked, and the next thing I knew we were chatting about lots of things. If someone offers up a piece of information about themselves that you know very little about it can actually be a very kind thing to ask kind questions, and try to educate yourself more rather than to just make assumptions. Be curious, but always remember to be kind and respect the boundaries of others.🍵
When people say “you don’t look blind” it is probably because often times blind people that more than likely have been blind from birth have their eyes looking all over the place, as well as their head moving all over the place as well.
I work at a counseling office and we have a new client who reported they were blind. Because of your videos, I was able to call them and ask what accommodations we should make to give them the amount of independence they wanted and the most dignity possible. The new client was so appreciative of having the open conversation and being able to tell me their boundaries of what was and was not okay. Thank you so much!!!
Just what Matthew, Paul, and Mr. Maple want to hear! Their goal is to educate. They obviously succeeded with you, and you, in turn, educated your coworkers. This is how viral concepts function, which is exactly Matthew's, Paul's, and Maple's intention.
When someone says: 'you don't look blind' you say 'but you do'
You say "I wouldn't know, cause I am blind. What I weird thing to say"
😂
Or if you really wanna be snarky you can say "And you don't look ignorant but here we are."
No, don't actually do that unless they're being an absolute jerk about it. It would be satisfying to do though.
Ooo, like that comeback!! Giving it to enthusiastic thumbs up😊❤👍👍
+
OMG! Paullll! Your next book! "Coffee Date with Paul!" and it can just be a book about Paul stories, and the best pranks pulled by Matthewwwww!
I concur, this would be amazing!!!
I agree
Yeeeesss, that would be fire!
Poor Mr Maple. Dragged into all of Matthew's shenanigans. Let us pray for the beleaguered Mr Maple.
Yes this is. Book we need
I'm totally blind in bright light (such as a sunny winter day), but can see extremely well in dim and dark conditions. I was in Union Station in Toronto, and lost my way when I got to the grand hall. I could see shapes, but it was painful to keep my eyes open for long. I stopped, put both hands on top of my white cane, and waited for assistance. A gent came along and said "You look lost. Can I help?" I thanked him, and asked for help finding the kiosk to buy train tickets. He said "Oh sure," then turned and pointed, saying "It's just over the..." and trailed off before looking back at me. I let the pause hang there for a moment longer than I needed to, then said "I am partially sighted, so pointing is helpful." He relaxed, and said "Oh thank God. I'm sorry, I'm so embarrassed." He then continued his directions, and I was able to continue my journey, and we both got a smile.☕
You both behaved like absolute gentlemen, he had a learning experience, and you got your tickets. Sounds like a big all-round win to me.
☕ The "caretaking the other person's sympathy" phrase hit me right in the gut. I feel like I have to do that a lot. I've been through a lot of things that the vast majority of people can't relate to, and to have to stand there and smile and nod while they try to relate and make you feel better when inside you just want to scream and tell them to just stop talking is so hard.
So true… I have had my disability for 22 years now and did OK with caretaking the other person’s reaction or sympathy for about the first 20 years… I’m just exhausted of it at this point
The "I'm sorry" thing is hitting hard. As someone with a chronic illness that will never be cured, I actually more get "get over it" or "you're making it up" because it's an invisible illness. But I don't want I'm sorry either... I just want "is there anything you need help with right now" or something. Sometimes I feel like I'm going to pass out in public and if I ask for help, I get brushed off...
same, when people say "i'm sorry" or "my condolences", i actually dont quite know what to say back. Like... thanks i guess? sure its kind of a hell having a disability but i live! for the past 20+ years xD disabled people adapt to their conditions, so who are you saying sorry to exactly? there isn't a way for us to get better other than work around it lol
Oh, I hear you! hEDS, dysautonomia, and the rest of that package.
If I had a loonie (Canadian dollar coin) for every time someone said they’re sorry I’d have enough to cover the $1,500 over the insurance coverage on my new custom titanium wheelchair and option. (It’s $7,000 benefits are paying about $5,500)
YES!!!! I wish more people would think about asking if help is needed or wanted in the moment.
There’s also the “well at least it’s not cancer.”
EXACTLY SAYING YOU'RE SORRY DOESN'T FIX THE PROBLEM. JUST SAY HOW ARE YOU, WHAT CAN I DO TO HELP.
#3 is so important! I use a wheelchair due to spina bifida and I used to use crutches. People would tell me "oh I know how you feel! I broke my ankle once and had to use crutches for a while." I get why people say that. I really do. I'm sure breaking a bone is a miserable experience while you're recovering, but it hurts to hear it compared to my disability. Spina bifida has affected my entire life and my entire body.
People also used to tell me, "if I had your disability/your life, I would curl up and d1e." My life is hard in a lot of ways, but telling me you'd rather d1e than live like me is really hurtful.
Also had the "oh if I were you id just give up" comment, can confirm it is horrible thing to hear, especially when I was more visibly disabled as a literal child, its honestly the worst thing to hear.
Yes! So far (I’m still watching) #1 & #3 go for all disabilities
One I get a LOT is "I hope you feel better soon." I mean . . . thanks. I won't, since my disability is both chronic and permanent. But I will have better days than others.
🫂I'm sorry to hear that people react that way. It's awful. And no, a temporary inconvenience is nothing like having a life time of pain/hardships. You're 💯 right.
@@joray5756 yes! This exactly! "Have you tried Advil?" Ummmm, the fentnyl patch, Norco, and chemo for the last 22 years vs your Advil suggestion. That must be the cure!
Paul listening and laughing to me and then telling me I’m delightful absolutely made my day 🫶🏻
Yay!! I felt like we had a real connection ❤
@@MatthewandPaulOfficialWe have to do this again sometime!
You know you're in the Matrix when this comment was posted 8 days ago, but the video was posted yesterday! I'm onto you!
Oh my gosh, I have so much I want to say to you. My oldest daughter is deaf and my youngest high functioning autistic (and more, her list is long...). I love that you take situations and make it into a "teachable moment" and spread awareness. They both hear- well, one hears- "you don't look _____" and I try so hard to encourage them to be open. As their mom, I hear all the time "Oh, I'm sorry." It's amazing how many people have misconceptions but are open for understanding. Thank you for this video. It helps support me with them. The main thank you I want to give you and Matthew is demonstrating a green flag relationship. I didn't grow up in a healthy home and I married a someone equally unhealthy. My youngest told me today that she loves watching your interactions and that is what she wants in a relationship. It takes a village, and thank you for being such a wonderful influence.☕☕
Paul, I really appreciate this education of what not to say, but to say instead to a blind person or a person with disabilities. Thank you so much! ☕
I remember in high school, we had a presentation in the auditorium by a blind person, sharing their experiences, and teaching a bit how to be understanding and so on. At the end, he asked if anyone had any questions, and one person raised their hand. It took everyone a few moments to realize why that wouldn't work.
😂aw thats awkward. Someone who didn't listen properly perhaps? xD
@@nardalis4832nah, just force of habit I’m sure
Eh, it was school. Hard to break that habit!
To the third point, I’ve been in chronic pain & exhaustion for 20 years, undiagnosed for the first 10.
I’ve had people complain about how tired they are when there are some days I can’t eat or physically move because of being so exhausted.
Honestly the most support I’ve ever had (apart from my partner & family) was from a guy I knew in high school, we were friends of friends not actually close at all.
He asked about the wheelchair I was having to use for long distance, he listened to me rant (which I’d never really done before) and he said “wow, that sucks”
I felt so heard! He didn’t offer any anecdotes, or suggestions that could “fix me” (which I usually get) he just listened.
That same night a girl I knew but also wasn’t close with, who was significantly shorter than me when I stood, & was smaller than me in general, insisted on pushing my fat ass over cobblestones in my chair so I could be part of the fun.
I was feeling guilty & she just told me I was going to have fun.
She was so sweet.
I have chronic pain as well - daily headaches/frequent migraines. When I tell someone, they often complain about how much headaches suck or oh yea I have migraines. -_- I was 21yo when I learned it wasn't "normal" to have daily headaches. I have a 4-6 pain scale headache at any random time. That's my norm. When I went on medication that worked until it gave me a secondary condition, I had 4 days over a few years with no headache. The first day? I was panicking because my head didn't feel like it was mine.
☕️ I’m blind and I travel alone. I am always surprised by how kind strangers can be. ❤️
You hit this one out of the park!! I love your sweet heart shines through.
I would also add don’t grab people or their belongings when trying to help 😂 when people come up behind me to help me with something and grab my arm or bag, I think I’m being mugged.
Too many people don't know not to grab at people. Happens to my friend all the time. (She once had her coffee taken out of her hand while on her way to work. Seriously, what the heck was he thinking he was doing to "help" her....)
As a disabled person myself I understand that there are certain things you just don’t say to disabled people, including the blind community. But this video taught even me some lessons about what not to say and some fine alternatives. Thanks Paul. ❤
☕️Paul, not only was this a 100% delightful coffee chat but it was an absolutely excellent education and description of what many people with a variety of disabilities deal with and would like to say. I am not blind, but I do live with a chronic illness & disabilities. Like you I have made a lot of adjustments as needed and am living my best life. Thank you, Paul. I’m going to recommend this video to friends & family. More, please, on any topic.🤗💖
I love this format. But more importantly . . . thank you for letting me talk, and just listening to me! ☕
Hi Paul! I loved this coffee date 🤩! This one hit home for me 😊. I work in retail, and almost 2 years ago, an older lady came to my till not long after I started my new job in a large store. I was told by one person who was helping to guide her if needed that she had trouble seeing anything and is legally blind. I rang everything through, and she went to get her purse to pay, but she had to be guided a couple of times where her hands needed to go to find her wallet. She went to hand me the money, and I gently told her that I had my hands underneath hers. She let go, I got her change, went to pass her the money, and she reached out for it. She was guided to where my hand was (verbally and I made the change rattle a bit for auditory reference) and I told her that I was going to drop it in her hand so it didn't startle her. She thanked me for being so kind and patent with her situation and I looked right at her and said verbatim, "It's important to me that everyone is treated with respect and kindness whether they have an obvious (or not) physical, mental, or emotional issue." The people with her were surprised and said that not many people had as much patience and kindness in retail anymore. It isn't always obvious that someone is blind, in pain, or suffering from something, so be kind and respectful 😊 ☕️.
This!!! Just be kind! I feel like it's harder not to be -- I've had days when I got short-tempered and snapped a bit at someone and I feel bad about it for at least the rest of the day. If you're super mean first all bets are off though, lol. (Ha, actually when I've been having a bad day and reciprocated meanness I still felt awful so just be kind anyway!! Or at least say sorry if you lost it for a sec.)
Love that you educate without talking down to us, Mr. Maple is so cute and smart.
I love the "thank you for telling me" because I'm genuinely grateful that you're sharing part of your life with me. ☕️
☕I really enjoyed this. It applies universally... there are lots of less obvious disabilities!!
Love to Mr. Maple
You're such a good listener! Boy, that was nice getting that off my chest. Thanks, Paul! ☕
☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️☕️
Paul, I LOVED your coffee chat! I have a neighbor in my apartment complex who lives on the same floor I do. When I met him, he looked straight at me so I couldn't tell he was legally blind until he told me. I would NEVER tell anyone "I'm sorry" because they're blind or disabled in any way. If they ask for help, I help them. If I see that they need help, I offer to help them. I don't ask them about their condition. If they offer information then I may ask about it. I have GREAT respect and admiration for you, Paul. I have GREAT admiration for your craft and for your positivity. You are a GREAT and LUMINOUS being, kind, sweet patient, gracious, and everything that's GOOD! I LOVE you! ❤❤❤❤❤
☕ a Coffee Date With Paul is exactly what I needed today 😊
Me as well. Thanks Paul.
I better get over my habit of saying “I’m sorry”. But the sorry I say is more of a “I’m sorry I didn’t realise you were blind. I’m so stupid!!”. Thank you for sharing what to do instead and spreading awareness. I find advice like that very helpful!
If you have an impulse to apologize, you could phrase it like, "oh, sorry, I didn't realize." And then you could follow up with asking about their blindness and how you can help.
Thank you, this was so helpful. I have chronic pain for 20 years. When I talk about it, I'm sharing my experince like it's interesting. I get "I'm sooo sorry." I hate it as well because I'm handling it. I respond with an easy "It is what it is." Knowing what to say instead of "I'm sorry" is really helpful.
As someone with Cerebral Palsy, I think most of these phrases shouldn't be said to people with disabilities in general. ☕️☕️
Thank you I love listening to U I've learned so much x ☕
Hi. I'm blind, from the UK. Couple of other things not to ask!
"Can't you have surgery?" Ummmmm yes, I merely choose to remain blind!!
"Are you training that dog?" Yes. He's 7 years old, his harness handle clearly says he's a working guide dog, but he's in training cos he's the dumbest pup in the class!!!!!!!
(Please forgive the British sarcasm lol)
Also PLEASE do not feed our dogs. And the "do not distract me" sign, the knowledge you have when you say "I know I shouldn't" when you grab him or let him when he's working, taking me across a road, you've no idea the danger you put me in.
We know you love dogs. We know you find our clever dogs fascinating. We're mostly happy to answer your questions, about them. Just please do it safely. ❤❤
Loved the sarcastic responses 😂😂😂😂
@@dawnbaker9274 thank you!! 😂
Sarcastic?! I didn't think you were being sarcastic. I thought you were being totally cool.
@@AryanBlitzkrieg-c7v Thank you ❤️
True that same goes for Ireland
☕️☕️☕️. THANK YOU! As a blind person, all of these were dead on the nose for me. The biggest being sighted people saying right over there. I just laugh and say that is singularly unhelpful! I would offer a #4 directed towards my fellow blind folks. Don't gatekeep blindness. As Paul said, it's a spectrum and each of us have our individual challenges. There is one person in my care home who actually has much better vision than many others yet she will angrily yell IM BLIND whenever someone annoys her or walks within 5 ft of her . Drives us all crazy haha. 😂. She has learned not to holler at me though because I holler right back SO AM I! 😂😂
I appreciate this so much! I have an invisible disability, and I never thought about what would be a good response instead of 'I'm sorry' when people find out. 'Thank you for telling me,' is perfect! It's exactly what I would like to hear. 'Is there anything you'd like me to know, or anything I can do that would help,' would also be fantastic. Someone recently asked me, 'Is there anything I should avoid saying or doing?' which was also really appreciated. But: 'thank you for telling me,' would be so good to hear, because it's always such a gut-churning gamble, choosing to share that information with new people.
I love the education and insight you're providing! Honestly, most of us who are sighted are rather clueless about blindness unless we either have a blind loved one or work in the blindness field. I had an amazing introduction into the world of blindness from my boss, who also has RP. I had no idea she was blind until my first day of work and I got to shadow her and see how she ran the state services for the blind. It was a life changing experience for me and she remains one of my most respected, beloved friends. What you're teaching people is wonderful.
I've never met a blind person. But if I do now I know what to say or not say. Thank you for educating us Paul. Love from Hawaii
If you meet a blind person, ask them their thoughts on ScripTalk or Spoken Rx. Mess with them!
My vision is only corrected to 20/100 with glasses. This means I'm not legally blind but I still identify as blind because I still can't get a drivers license. And I still have to use accessible equipment like a magnifier or CCTV to work or do things around the house. And yes please don't tell people you don't look blind! I hate that so much. Paul you and Mr Maple are great!
The advice to respond with 'thank you for telling me' then asking whatever question may be relevant, is really sound. Especially since disabilities are such a personal experience, it should be at the discretion of that person when it needs to be given particular attention. Great ☕️ chat!!
These are all great and I agree with all of them. I would like to add that you do not need to avoid saying look or see. Some poor woman in a class I was taking was waiting at the door for me one week because at our previous class, she said, “do you see what I’m saying,“ and had been eating herself alive for the entire week because she felt so bad about saying “see” in front of me. Someone had told her that was a horrible thing to say then, I felt horrible, because she felt so bad about saying something that had no effect on me whatsoever. Then later I found out there’s a list out there of things not to say to blind people and it was a really stupid list. Unlike this one which is very helpful.
☕️This is so helpful! My mom is not blind, but deaf in one ear, and I have struggled to empathize with her because I don’t have a disability, let alone an invisible disability. I will definitely think more about what I’m saying to people with disabilities.😅 Thank you for being such a kind educator on social media! ❤
Hi Paul! This is my contribution to your coffee talk, lol! ☕☕☕This post is mostly stream-of-consciousness typing and certainly isn't well organized. Anyway, this is a different disability, but I'm hard of hearing/deaf (lower case d). I wear hearing aids. While my struggles are not exactly the same, I feel like a lot of your points overlap with things that I struggle with as well.
#1: I always love the way that Paul educates people. He tries not to be condescending and always tries to give people the benefit of doubt--no mean intentions, just ignorance/obliviousness.
For "You don't look blind" -- I think people tend to blurt it out because the disability doesn't fit into their expectations since media typically portrays very specific and dramatic cases. I feel like a similar experience that I have is that people say things like, "You don't SOUND deaf" (implying speech impairment/nonverbal) as if people can't learn to talk and lose their hearing gradually over time. I am unsure how a blind person like Paul would react, but I think you can also turn this into a positive statement by saying, "Oh, you're really good at holding eye contact!" This segues into learning more about their disability if you feel like you are able to actually spend time chatting with the person... This isn't for every situation though, since sometimes people just want to move on with their lives (both sides).
#2: I think that a lot of people are afraid of asking too much about disabilities, but this really hinders the general population's understanding of how disabilities work. No, MOST of us are not going to be offended if you ask how you can accommodate us better, especially if you have no clue! Just show a willingness to learn and be empathetic. Sometimes, one little question goes a long way. My boss asked me if it was okay for him to call me to answer quick questions, and I told him that I prefer a heads up (e.g. a text asking "can I call you real quick?") so that I can make sure I am wearing my hearing aids or have live captioning turned on. He was super nervous about asking this, but it made me so happy that he did, and then he sounded relieved that "it looks like [he] asked the right question."
#3: I commonly tell people that I'm deaf to warn them that I will likely miss things/ask them to repeat things, or I'll just have my S/O talk or repeat things instead. Far too often, people reply with something like, "Oh, it's ok! I'm pretty deaf too" or "my hearing sucks too" like that's supposed to make me feel better for having an actual disability... Why? Is that supposed to make me feel better? The person is trying to relate to make me feel better, but most of the time, it's not even actually comparable??? When this happens, I usually just let the conversation fall off/move on, because what else is supposed to come out of it? You tried to relate and fell short. I know it's well-intentioned, but what am I supposed to say?! You know what's even worse? When people say, "oh that must be nice; you're able to just tune everyone out." What they don't realize is how draining it is just existing in what is "normal" for able-people/the general population. The threshold of tolerance is lower because we are not used to having our senses overwhelmed like that, or it takes far more concentration to go about a normal day.
I also don't look for sympathy, so as I said in #2, I think the best thing to do is ask how you can better accommodate a disability, because that shows that you care far more than anything else.
seriously man, thank you for doing this. I really appreciate people who represent us well while talking on our behalf. And I think you succeed in this because you have a lot of empathy and understanding. I get really frustrated too sometimes but this is generally how I like to approach these situations as well so it's nice to know I'm not alone. we express these kinds of things in our own ways, and while I think it's totally valid I don't believe that sarcasm or anger really help as they tend to turn people off even if it's a good point the blind person is making. so thank you for being a good example to others and using your platform to advocate an effective way. saying all that, I for one really hope you do more of these because you're exactly the right kind of person for it in my opinion.
Paul, thank you for educating us sighted folks with kindness, humor & wit.
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I have EDS, which is a hidden disability, and until you said these things, especially "I'm sorry", i never really thought about how i dont really like when people say that to me. So interesting how some of these phrases can be related to others with disabilities.
Just found your channel and appreciate it so much. I’ve been dealing with my own vision issues for the last four years, with three retinal detachments, double vision, serials retinopathy, and central blindness in both eyes after a micro stroke at my optical nerves. Yout positive attitude and open communication around your blindness is inspiring and such a help to me in my own joutnary with legal blindness. Thank you pu so much. I’m enjoying your channel.
☕️ I am a Rally Obedience judge and I judged a blind handler once. She did have an aid for the walk through but did the course alone. She was able to see shapes/outlines pretty well so there was a low chance she would trip over any signs/obstacles which was my primary concern. At the level she was at you leave your dog to go collect your leash and then return. The leash is generally put on a table but I had asked if it would be easier if a person were to hold it. She wanted to do it the same way as everyone else (and she nailed that course!). I’m happy to hear I handled the situation correctly. In the end I told her to tell me what she would need to be successful and we would accommodate :) . Thank you for sharing all this. I never thought to thank the person for telling me they were blind as opposed to saying “I’m sorry”. I’m also Canadian so I would likely say both lol!!
I saw a video where a chap took his blind best friend to a deserted beach and let him drive.. he had so much fun. Reminded me of when you ran through the field and on the beach....
Youre sapose to explain where items are with "a little forward and to your left" "keep going two more feet, yes" And my neighbor was able to find the bench outside.
You need to be very descriptive and patient. THANK YOU Paul for helping people by explaining this! I love your channel. I use the volunteer app to help blind people around the world with tasks throughout the day, theres so many volunteers i rarely get a call.
I loved this. I run into some really insensitive things too when people find out I am deaf. Being aware is something people really need more of.
I ran into your videos right about the time that my VA retina specialist told me I was blind in my right eye from an injury that kept oxygen from getting to my cornea. I always thought blindness was a complete lack of seeing...a black depth. I can see form, light and dark, no print...I know there is a black line. When I look at you, I see a grey blob and a grey spreading out like a coral reef ? or a stencil ? It will never get better, but they are working to try to keep it from getting worse. I actually go tomorrow for another needling..yeah, just what it sounds like. I cannot express how much your videos have helped me to accept my circumstances. It will not spread to my other eye or put undue strain on it, so I am grateful. I cussed like the sailor I was when told about it. I am a painter, a quilter, a reader, a knitter and was afraid I would lose the ability to do these things. Thank you so much for sharing your journey with us.
My older brother [now passed] was born with a problem with vision in his left eye. His right eye was perfect, so he wasn't even legally blind, he was sighted.He told me that the vision in his left eye was very very blurry, but he could see color, light and dark, movement, but NO detail. It was not corrected with glasses or contact, but he fared fine. He got a drivers license, but the mirror on the driver side door was useless to him. I spent many a car ride with him stepping on an imaginary brake, but he never had an accident or even a minor fender bender.I very much enjoy this channel, your outings with Mr. Maple, Matthew's pranks and your willingness to educate the public on blindness. Mr. Maple is a very smart pup and I love when you show us his work.
Oh your brothers vision sounds like mine except i see maybe like 60% on my right. If he could get a drivers license then maybe i could too. Though i'd have hard to trust myself so definitely wouldn't want to have a fast vehicle lol
@@nardalis4832 He got his license when he was 16. [Canada] His right eye was perfect vision. Some people were surprised he was allowed to drive, but he could see, so he wasn't denied.
So nice chatting with you Paul. Thanks for sharing these thoughts with us. It's helpful to hear these alternative suggestions. For example my late boyfriend Colin was totally blind. Instead of saying "it's right there" (as his Mom said), when he asked for the salt, he suggested saying "it's at 12 o'clock to your plate". His Mom never accepted his disability which flabbergasted me! Loved this video and of course Mr. Maple's interjections. ❤🐾
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My aunt was born with ocular albinism making her legally blind. She navigates her blindness differently than the media represents. Her blindness has always been just a normal part of our lives. Which is great, but I also feel a little bad that I just let it be a background thing and it never occurred to me to educate myself on it any further than her speaking about her experience. Tbh, I didn't even know much about ocular albinism until recently, I just knew it was the thing that made my aunt blind. All this really long thing to say, thank you Paul. Your channel and your stories have helped to both educate me, and spark a genuine want to educate myself. I am very grateful that you share your stories and that we get to be a part, no matter how significant, of your story. 💚☕️
☕ LOVE This coffee time!❤
Growing up as a “seeing guide daughter” with my mom being low vision and night blind when I was four, then legally blind in my teens I can attest to all the funny things that happen.
Never, ever move spices in kitchen cupboards when you live with a blind or low vision person!
I’m now an ambulatory wheelchair user and so excited to be getting my first custom titanium wheelchair. I’m like a 5 year old kid waiting fora bike on my birthday.
Having people say they’re sorry that I’m getting a $7,000 custom piece of medical equipment that = freedom (with shiny purple accents, and a comfy low back custom bent to fit, and a $700+ cushion made by my favourite backcountry hiking equipment company),
… well it kind of dampens the mood.
Instead of sharing the coolness with them I’m left with supporting their emotional needs. A few times people have prayed that I don’t need my chair. Then it’s awkward.
Get excited with me. Ask questions about wheelchairs. It’s wheelie wheelie fun. 😊
How's life with your new wheels going? Your chair sounds spiffy to me!
I just found you two and Paul, you make me laugh! You are so honest and pure! I have friends who have a blind daughter and it has never held her back. She rode in bike marathons with her dad, paddle boarded and is now in college. It is a disability but doesn't need to be a handicap, as you have proven. Love your videos!!! Keep on!
☕️Loved this! Very informative. But the biggest takeaway has to be Paul’s compassion towards others, easily assuming that people most often have good intentions. That’s a good way to live a life. ❤
☕ Paul, that was the absolute best coffee story time ever. I almost always have a cuppa in my hand, but watched this at one in the morning lol. I still pretended I did as I talked and laughed with you. I cannot wait for more of these!
We want more Story Time With Paul!❤
Those are all great points and as a blind person I can totally relate. So yes I have been pushing a grocery cart with my cane being held to the side of the cart. I had a guy who got my cane tip caught by the wheel of his cart. ☕️
I have an interesting scenario that I have experienced with a Guide dog. Several years ago, I went to a camp for kids that had disabilities. I was on my way to becoming a Jr. Counselor, so this camp held 4 weeks of camp, 2 weeks for the kids that were blind, 1 week for the deaf kids, and 1 week for the kids who had autism. During the 2 weeks with the blind kids, was so amazing, these kids were extremely independent. Well one day they had a whole day for the crew that worked with Service dogs for the blind. They introduced the dogs to the kids and they had no idea that this was available to them. I was incredibly nervous being that I am profoundly deaf., I got cochlear implants when I was 23. I wore hearing aids before that. The lady that told me to place my hand on the dog’s harness was supper patient with me. I had to close my eyes and she said, Trust in yourself and the dog, he/she will guide you. My first thought was I have no idea how I would go about being deaf and losing my vision. I knew it would be a new journey and experience. I was afraid because I couldn’t hear then had to pretend I was blind with my eyes shut and the dog knew I didn’t feel comfortable so the dog was uncomfortable. The dog and I didn’t make it very far because of the disconnect. Mr. Maple, I don’t know if you get alot of comments directly, but I wanted to commend and thank you for your Service! You are a blessing to Paul and I am honored to be able to see you as a participant in the videos of Paul and Mathew! To the three of you thank you for sharing the videos and the bond you all share! 😊🎉❤
Not blind here but with other disabilitys that can't be treated (Autism and ADHD) and point three hit home to me alot lol, i Often have days where i can barely speak or function and people compare it to a brain fart and fumblig over a few words then being able to carry on anf they use that to be like "so I totally get it"
And I'm over here with extremely frustrating non speaking episodes and it honestly gets so so annoying
However, side note, I do personally enjoy it when other disabled people tell me their disabilities and we share both our experiences, I like it because it helps you feel less alone as a disabled person
☕️ You make such good long form videos! I am learning a lot about the blind experience and how different /similar it is to my deaf experience.
I love your vibes and you have a great balance of speaking informally, as well as using better vocabulary than me! I'm jealous, lol.
Keep doing these and we will keep watching, because you are helping to educate us as well as sharing your glowing personality!
Thank you!
Thank you for saying & sharing this! I totally learned something new! I have chronic migraines and I tell people when I have really bad migraines so they know why I’m not talking or have to put my sunglasses on even though we’re indoors or have to leave early. I don’t want them to feel it was them or that I don’t like them or something. It’s a “it’s me, not you”, kind of situation! But I hate telling them because I get the, “I’m so sorry” response. I don’t want their sympathy, I’m just letting them know the situation so they understand why I’m acting the way I am. I would love to hear the response you suggested, “thanks for sharing.” Thank you for sharing your story, thoughts and experiences being blind. I think it’s great you’re bringing more awareness to this. ❤
As someone in a wheelchair I get frustrated with people tell me they are "impressed" or they "admire" the fact that I work. Yes I work full time and support myself and my son and support my own household.
You're a natural story teller! So animated, detailed, and well-spoken in a story time way, I would binge your story times for hours if there was enough to
I actually did this when I first found them. I was so sick with vertigo! I could not life my head off the pillow.
But I loved their show so much I literally played there videos back to back and caught them all up!
Paul and Matthew your videos bring me joy and laughter, give me tips and show me that my life to could be full thanks!
☕️ OMG that selfie stick comment has me in stitches! 😂
And living with my legally blind boyfriend whilst having low vision myself, life gets very interesting sometimes… 😂
☕️ I really like this format whether it’s story time or something informative. You’re a very good speaker and easy to listen too. Thanks for all the info!
I love that you framed a lot of this in terms of chronic illness/conditions in general rather than blindness specifically!
My co-worker has a visual impairment/blindness. Thank you for making this video. I had customers come up to me or my supervisor asking us questions and not ask my co-worker because they assumed my co-worker doesn't know anything when he knows more than most of staff.
Hi Paul! Thanks for the tips! I can apply some of those tips in my own life to deaf people (my mum and family).
I would like to react to #3 though. It is trying to relate first, but I understand it is like not acknowledging you're situation.
I don't want to complain here, but I also want to be seen and acknowledged, just like you.
I'm very aware I have been very lucky with my health, my personality, my life. I feel I have not much to complain about, especially compared to other people. But dealing with someone with a disability is like putting yourself behind them and therefore losing out on acknowledgement yourself or put differently yourself disappearing into the general public as not notable, because you're fine. Even when you are dealing with your own problems, which pretty much all adults are.
So when someone says: "Oh, I know how you feel!" Please, forgive us, we're just trying to not drown in a crowd of mediocrity.
As a person with an invisible disability, people often say, I'm sorry. But I also encourage people to be positive because a positive attitude makes huge differences in recovery or learning to live with it. 😊
Yeah. I wish people would allow me to just be realistic, rather than pushing me to be positive all the time. Being realistic isn't the same as giving up.
I am married to a totally blind man and he tells everyone we meet not to change the way they talk. He will tell them he watches TV, we travel a lot overseas and in Australia and he sees things through my eyes. I describe things to him. It doesn’t worry him if people ask him how he became blind, he knows that they are just interested. I have never heard anyone apologise to him for being blind which is a good thing.☕️
I just love your sweet attitude!! Your laugh makes me smile. Thank you for educating us about blindness! I have a disability too and need a service dog for my ptsd, but since she's a corgi, people can be.. confused as to why a corgi can be a valid service dog. I want to mention something that *might* be comforting when people are so insensitive and say "well, you don't look blind." Maybe they're trying to make you feel better, or like you're a part of things - like they're trying to say you fit right in with everyone.. maybe not, but maybe! ❤ But regardless! I know I'm glad you're part of this world!
You are truly an inspiration to all of us out (& some not so out) here. After 2 operations to fix a broken hip, I use the sit-down electric shopping carts a lot, & I love it when children come up to ask me if they can help me get something off a shelf my arm extension grabber can't reach. I've learned to find their parent in order to thank the child in front of the parent. Keep explaining about the spectrum of all manner of disabilities. Keep educating. (I'm too old to know where to look for a coffee emoji, so I would add one if I could.)
☕️☕️☕️ love your stories… keep ‘em coming coffee or not…
Your teaching about blindness in everyday life is so amazing
I definitely learned something. Thank you for educating us. Love story time with Paul! ☕
☕ For me it's people talking slowly to me when they see the cane.... hmm nope nope.
To those folks, if you are disabled physically, That somehow you are also mentally handicapped as well. Thus the slow speech.
☕ and one for you! ☕ This was great! Thank you for storytime! I think the biggest issue is how we fundamentally view people with disabilities. The world was not made for them, which means accommodations need to be made in many cases, but it doesn't make them less of a person or someone to be pitied. They are people just like everyone else and the sooner we are able to recognize that, the sooner we can avoid these awkward situations.
I recently came across your channel when one of your videos popped up in my recommended. Out of curiosity I clicked on the video. I've watched a few here and there and some of the shorts. The two of you sometimes crack me up and other times I am just amazed by the stories you share. I have often wanted to ask someone about their disability to gain a better understanding of that disability. But I don't because I don't want to offend or bring up a past trauma. I just want to say thank you for sharing your story and for educating us. And reminding us that regardless of one's limitations life can still be lived to the fullest. ☕
☕ Love you Paul!!!
☕️ 🔥 Thank you for sharing, Paul. Some of these things I knew but a good reminder for the future 😊 🍁 🐕 💕
Maybe start a new series called coffee chats with Paul. ☕️
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I love it love the format, I try to be positive too. I too am blind and I too use a guide dog. I try to be as independent as I can and educate where I can to those around me. I also advocate for Accessibility for those who are disabled or physically challenged in anyway. Paul I love you for being positive. Keep it up. Blindness isn’t a sentence. It’s just a way to change your thought process and how you do things.
I am going on a cruise out of Seattle next May and everyone has asked me why I’m spending so much money to go on a cruise when I’m blind. I tell them I want to see what I can as I still have a little bit of vision. Don’t know how long that will last but that’s OK. And besides there’s more than your eyesight to have an experience it’s the feelings the sounds the smells. It’s the energy you get from it so I don’t think I’m wasting any money.
Be safe and be safe as you make your travels to the city or as I call them “ McKee and me Adventures” Who
Hi Paul and Matthew. I recently came across your channel and while I haven't actively set out to do it, have ended up binge watching quite a bit of your content. Firstly I want to say that you guys seem to be such a great couple, I love how fun and energetic you both are. Matthew your pranks are hilarious and Paul's belly laugh when he realises what is going on, gets me every time. Such simple honest fun. Thank you! I can't say that I've really been exposed to anyone in my life being blind and really didn't realise some of the intricacies you discuss in your videos. The way you educate everyone through humour is addictive and makes a person want to know more even if the subject has no bearing on them. Secondly, Paul, considering the challenges that you have experienced in your life during your sight journey, you could have travelled to where you are now by a very different route had your outlook on life been different. You could have been a completely different person had you let those challenges overwhelm you. I'm sure you have had some dark days (pun intended), and not that I can or should presume to know you, but you appear to have come through with this inner resilience and light in you that shines for the world to see. I think when people say to you that you don't look blind, it is because all they can see is that light shining out of you and they are the ones blinded to the fact that you are blind because of that light. Of course your gorgeous eyes could also have something to do with it! (Don't worry Matthew, it's just a compliment 😉). Lastly I just wanted to say thank you for the education, the laughter, the stories (I so love a good story teller - There are too few people in this world who understand the art of turning their day into a story and sharing anecdotes - Please don't stop) and of course we can't forget Mr Maple, the star of the show! Keep the wonderful content coming ❤
This was so helpful... you not only help the blind community but now those of us who don't have much interaction with people who have a special need & we wouldn't know how to respond. You're letting us know just to say a simple thank you, can work in so many different situations with people in general but also with people who have special needs. Thanks for your great informative story :)
What a lovely treat to share a moment around coffee; that improv minute was adorable. Not to undermine all the rest that was said; also live with a different set of abilities. Your spontaneity and bubbliness is infectious. Love it
My college friend B is blind. A bunch of the college buddies were decorating for a baby shower, and B asked where the scissors were. I pointed and said, "over there." Of course there was a lot of derisive laughter from my other friends, especially after I explained that I had forgotten that she was blind. (B was delighted.) Not 10 minutes later, B asked where the streamers were. My friend M pointed and said, "over there." Cue more laughter and a lot of "See? See? It's not just me...." because M had forgotten that B was blind too.... ☕Love your channel.
Lol I role-play with him and he was saying every time every time and I was like oh my God that’s so true and then he said you’re so delightful and I was like oh and now I’m having a better day
I'm not blind like you or Molly are; I also follow, but I do have a disability of my own where I hear that 'I'm so sorry' quite often, too. I immediately ask them, 'Well, why are you sorry? It's not like you caused it.' Then I go into 'think of it this way, it's something I've always known, for me it won't get better or worse, it just is. It's me, what I deal with, but it doesn't make up who I am. I'm not missing out on anything I could do before because I've never had that.' But I often tell them they should instead ask other things rather than just going into that because many of us don't like hearing it.
I know it's been about 5 months and your probably not gonna read this but your just so awsome, your the kind of person who could get someone whos shy, or maybe anxious or even traumatized to open up to you, your videos make me so happy ever time I see anything from your channel. Genuinely wish I had someone like you in my live, and I don't even know you personally, keep being awesome ❤
Also ☕
The “so sorry” YES! I don’t want pity. I’m not pitiful!!! And “UR so BRAVE” when I do smth normal. I luv the alternatives sm!
☕ Thank you Paul! I am a newbie to your channel, and I am so grateful to hear about you and your outlook on life. Thank you for sharing, and for teaching me good etiquette around a blind or otherwise differently abled person. I look forward to hearing much more from you in the future. 😊
Thank you Paul, for educating us from a blind persons perspective. It’s really made me think of what I say, not just to a blind person but to anyone. It comes from a good place but sometimes we do say inappropriate things. I think you are an absolutely wonderful person. You ooze kindness ❤️❤️
As a person with RP too, I recognized a lot of the situations and laughed out loud 😂 I think the sorry part, the comparing and the taking over part are the most annoying things to do. I have very limited night vision and a lot of people want to hold me firm and guide me like a child. But mostly I can move around by myself. Except for unfamiliar or really dark places.
Thank you for educating us. These are the things I will tell my child when we adventure the world together.
I haven't met and don't know anyone who is blind, but thank you so much for sharing this. Now I know what not to say if or when I ever meet someone who is blind!
Bravo! Well done! Great points, and from browsing these comments, it looks like you are making an incredible impact! This type of education for the public is so needed. Like you said, these are all things that we are not taught in school. ☕️
I totally get #3! I’m disabled with 2 progressive autoimmune diseases and have had so many surgeries I can’t count. I’ve also had major spinal reconstructions where they broke apart poor autofusions (fusions my body did itself) and put me back together with titanium and cadaver bone (waist to bottom of neck). Even a family member who knows this recently said she understood because she pulled a muscle in her back and spent a week in bed and on the couch. A WEEK of pain and rest vs. a lifetime of intractable pain, surgeries, constant doctor’s appointments, and not being able to work for 20 years! Most people don’t know what I’m going through because I don’t talk about it (no one wants to hear you talk about your pain, and after the first couple of years, I didn’t want to talk about it either). If someone told me they were blind, I wouldn’t poor out my story and say it’s the same! I might say that I’m also a member of the disability community, but each experience is different. If someone told me they had they a similar surgery or same diagnosis (which happened w/diagnosis recently), I’d say, “Me too!” But even those experiences are totally different!
I love this ‘coffee break’ with you. I feel like you’re a friend ❤
☕ Thanks for the note about not saying "sorry," and the selfie stick thing was hilarious!