I will say, as a bit of unfortunate advice, I have gotten multiple transphobes to call me by my preferred name by just introducing it as "most people call me" instead of "I prefer to be called"
For me it's "my names Kaitlynn but my friends call me Katy" and let them decide which to call me. Dead name is off limits, nobody but my wife is allowed to know that 😛
i always fear that some people just tolerate to call you by your name but they don't consider you your gender. You know just doing a favor while in reality not respecting me at all
That's actually a game changer. To be fair many cis people go by a nickname that is "the opposite gender" and everyone goes with it as a joke until it catches on. I don't see how it's hard to do it not-as-a-joke
@@sugar706 Well, personally I'm also reluctant to call you Sugar, Sugar 🤣 You know what I mean? I also grew up in the 80's so yeah, that's a rough one for me 🤣 And I'm so tempted to apologise for calling you Sugar 🤣 But I think you're right. I've had friends, who are no longer friends because they don't learn anything about anything ever and expect people to just accept their making it other people's problem that they don't learn and don't want to learn anything, and they told me they have a niece who is trans, and I forgot her name. I never met her and I am terrible with names. But I do remember them calling her by her name and saying she is a niece, and then for some reason they refer to her as: "She, eh.. he...". Like wth? So I asked when she transitioned. It's been over 4 years, and they are still "confused" about her pronouns? I don't buy it. And then their excuse:" Well he isn't allowed to get HRT or surgery because he is in a mental institution with an unrelated mental condition and he can't consent." Me: That must be rough for her. Is she okay with that? And she's still a trans woman if she doesn't take hormones for whatever reason and has no surgery and a she. Do you understand that? They: Yeah, sure. He has no choice. Me: Not what I asked and you clearly understand nothing. She. And I hope she is okay with not being able to get hormones of surgery she might want, and that other people will still treat her as the person she is, and thus a woman. They: **blank stare** pfff... so yeah, I think your fear is very justified. And it wasn't just these people either. I was told by someone to go and see a very problematic "documentary" about wokeness and it showcased a family whose youngest child is trans. I'm not certain if the kid is non binary or a trans boy, it was quite a while ago, I think they're non binary, but they definitely weren't a girl. And the family kept referring to them as she/her, after years of transitioning. The parents did accept the chosen name, sometimes. And I understand that it's especially difficult to learn saying different pronouns to a person you've known for over a decade and called by different pronouns, so I am not surprised if the first week or month the wrong pronouns accidentally slip over your lips and you instantly apologise and correct yourself. But years? They speak to their kid every day. That's plenty of time to practice. I'm not buying it that it's accidental or because they've called their child she/her for over a decade. I am very certain that they do it because they don't believe her, essentially gaslighting her daily by misgendering and deadnaming. I obviously support the kid's choice to not make a thing of it until she's older and not dependent on their parents anymore, but dang, it hurts _me_ to my core when they treat their kid like that. I can't imagine what it feels like to them. And the worst thing is that those parents then whine how hard it is on then to use a different name and pronouns because the name they gave their child is so pretty and they grew up as a little girl and that's how they still see them. Implying that they're the ones who are in a difficult situation and that they still want a little girl, rather than the kid they have and respecting them as the person they are and encouraging their development and talking about their experiences in school and figuring out how to help their kid deal with that. They said that with her at the table while misgendering their child. So yeah, I have no idea how that kid felt about it. They just said they don't want to confront their parents every time because they still have to live there, but it's very abusive to treat a child like that. I say child this whole time, but they were probably a teen, so not that young of a child. Old enough to know wtf they're saying and feeling.
Going to share a story that I posted elsewhere on FB: I was parked with my library's bookmobile at one of our regular stops. An older couple in their 70s-ish stopped to learn about the bookmobile. The husband in particular was very impressed and wanted to check it all out, but also had that kind of gruff grandpa demeanor. We were chatting, and at one point the husband said, "Now let me ask you a question. What does that pin above your nametag mean?" Uh oh. I said, "Oh, it says 'she/her' so that people know what to call me. You can't always tell gender just from looking at someone, and it's also a signal for people that I'm someone safe." He considered this for a minute, and said emphatically, "That's right! You don't always know just by looking at someone!" He went on to say, "Our youngest grandson just told us that he's gay. We don't care!" His wife nodded her vigorous agreement. Then as he was leaving he added, "Well, that's really good. Good to let people know they're welcome no matter what."
As a transmasc teen seeing the guy at 10:11 honestly made me cry, realizing that I could actually live past my 20's was honestly just mine blowing. I had always just assumed I'd end up being on the news because I would've gotten shot on the street. It's nice knowing that I can actually have a future, that I have one ahead of me.
If you don't feel safe where you live, please make plans to move somewhere safer. It's not easy .. but it's a lot easier to move when your belongings fit in a suitcase than when you need a shipping container to move house. There is no honest reason why trans folk shouldn't have the same life expectancy as cis folk. The interplay of hormones and assigned sex affecting middle-aged health conditions should put you somewhere between the life expectancy of a cis man and that of a cis woman. Anything less than that is not good enough, and you deserve better!
I identify with that feeling very strongly, as I'm a non-binary person who thought I would die by 20. I finaly started transitioning at 24 and now I'm 29, happily married and further in my transition. Please keep in mind we are out there, we love you and you have a future on this earth. 💚
@@tealkerberus748 lol, if I could I would. I'm a minor, I can't exactly move right st the moment but I do plan to in the future. I had just seen so many hate crimes against trans people, many ending in the poor souls deaths.
My bff of 25 years changed her name as a cis woman. Suddenly, totally different first name that she's asked people to use. Is it difficult to disconnect from the name I've called her for 25 years? Sure. Just like sometimes you still refer to a married friend by their maiden name a couple times when it's new. But the respectful thing to do is to put in the effort to change the behavior because that's what they've asked to be called.
Unpopular opinion: SO WHAT IF IT IS A PHASE??? The kid is socially transitioning, not undergoing life-changing surgery. She'll get puberty blockers at most. The cons of receiving puberty blockers (which are reversible in most cases) do not outweigh the cons of undergoing puberty for the wrong gender. Gender is just a social construct. Why does it have to be so sacrosanct? Why can't we let kids explore and experiment with their gender and its expression if that's what makes them happy? Who would that hurt outside of some people's outdated sensibilities?
the issue with transphobes and talking about kids socially transitioning is....they only hear the word "transitioning". they immediately associate that word with surgeries and hormone injections.
Yes, yes, yes! Why can't Peter (amab) wear dresses and go by Lisa, or Lisa (afab) have short hair and go by Peter - at any age or for any duration of time - if they so please??
Parents place way too much rigidity on the gender of their children, it's ridiculous. My parents were no better in this matter. They would always buy me "girl toys" and make me wear frilly little dresses even though I clearly expressed that I didn't like any of it. Some of it had to do with the fact that I was trans, but a lot of it was that I simply had no interest in those things. I liked everything that was stereotypically meant for boys, wanted to have my hair cut like my brothers, etc. I can also remember from the ages of 5-12 I went by Trevor (and he/him pronouns) in secret. I really feel like if kids were allowed to explore themselves, they would have more of a solid foundation as to who they are as a person in the future. It was like a janky rollercoaster ride trying to navigate who I was because of all the restrictions I had placed on me because I was assigned female at birth.
No this is so real! So i use MSN (microsoft news) to get articles and the comments are filled with baby boomers saying how trans people are mental ill for believing they are a different gender than the one they were born as but these are the same people who believe in some sort of sky daddy creating us. I don't bash on the religion but the shoe fits both ways. These people can get 100+ likes on their comment for saying that trans people are mental ill and that we "shouldn't normalize mental illness" but if I was to go on a religious article and say "people who believe that there is some being in the sky are mentally ill" I'd get told to kms. (some of them fr say that lmao)
Exactly! The fact is that they know they expect compliance from anyone, even those that want nothing to do with their religion, so whenever someone asks basic respect outside of their beliefs they see it as oppression. When the oppressors are told to stop oppressing, they always see it as an oppression from the other side
1:44 fun fact! The anchient greeks believed that when apollo got drunk, he would make people with the wrong genetalia, so bot obly did the ancient greeks accept trans people, but they explained us as "god got supped f&cking wasted and made a mistake lol ur good"
I actually want to cry now because when i was still identifying as a christain i was convinced i was wrong and no matter how much i begged i wasnt fixed. Now as a non religion comforming pagen (i believe in all gods but follow no religion) i still sometimes find myself in a funk, and praying to whatever deity might hear me to help. Help me get what i need to do the fixing myself, to be safe in a place where i sometimes have to wake up and wonder if i wont be back home after the day But i get to remember that for every person who wants me dead there are just as if not more who fight everyday for my rights, even if i cant fight for myself at times.
haha I'm not religious, but I absolutely love this explanation. If god was real, I feel like this, combined with the fact of how strong the alcohol was back then (like seriously. You think alcohol these days gets you wasted? Oh boy, back then it woulda been borderline deadly for some people), I'm sure shit got wild in heaven from time to time while making everyone/everything xD
@@FlowersAndRocks The alcohol back then actually wasn't stronger than now, their wine was most likely stronger than the wine we have now (but wine isn't really high in alcohol percentage so even if it was twice as strong, it wouldn't have been a huge difference). Also they would dilute their wine with water.
@@indecisivesimp-leton6236 Dunno if this will help but I was taught at sunday school that God created humans to have free will and self expression in the same way that he created grapes but not wine and wheat but not bread yk
My art teacher in high school was trans. She was MEAN!! We were terrified of her. We also had absolutely no idea that she was trans. I ran into her years later at Mardi Gras. We ended up becoming good friends. She said her biggest fear was being outed, as back then ( 1980's), it would've cost her her job, as she loved teaching. She passed away a few years back, and I really miss her.
@@Quacks4toy theyre not saying its an excuse to be a shitty teacher. I think the point they're trying to make is that someone can be unlikeable AND trans, but that doesn't mean theyre unlikeable BECAUSE they're trans. Which is something a lot of people muddle up. Though given this case, apparently this woman was actually nice and I hope she lived a fulfilling life. But yeah, no one here was excusing her for being a mean teacher. I guess sometimes teachers can be mean (especially in 1980s I think) and still be a good person.
Multiple teachers in the UK have been banned from teaching for life for that kind of behaviour. The teaching standards do not take harassment and embarrassment of trans kids lightly
When I was in University for teaching in Canada, one professor told us "once you get tenor, you would have to intentionally kill a kid to lose your job. And even then you'd probably just get transferred."
@@yugenknows740 that’s tenure. UK teachers are held to a professional code of conduct that that is definitely breaking. Tenured professors are utter shit that can’t teach
yeah that level of malicious ignorance from that teacher makes me think that it was a performance for tiktok. it did get my blood pressure up but if it was real he wont have that position for much longer
Why do you think that behaviour isn't an accurate depiction? I imagine there would still be such schools/teachers that wouldn't have had a similar situation occur with a student for their attitude to be displayed (or questioned if it was). Though, I don't know how it works, is it that a school adopts an acceptance policy and would then interview current teachers about their stance or something and then a teacher with such an attitude either agrees to a code of conduct or is asked to leave, and, could such a person pretend to be professional (maybe thinking they'll never encounter a trans student or something, I don't know) and stay on but then when they do, out comes the bigotry, for example? I may just be in the dark about how things work now, I come from a time when it was acceptable and common for teachers to be quite verbally and physically abusive towards students (and I don't just mean corporal punishment) and that was just how it was. I could see these types of teachers slipping through the cracks even if a school is actually trying to be inclusive, let alone if it's got something against it. I don't think I'm putting it very well, but what I mean is I'm not surprised that appalling situation exactly as depicted could still be possible, but I could just be woefully not up to date.
That mother of the trans girl needs to call the principal, and if that doesn't work, call the school board or whatever. Intolerance like that needs to be addressed, and that teacher deserves to lose his job if he can't understand that the world around him is constantly changing. Edit: Apparently she did exactly that, good for her, I seriously hope he gets fired.
Seriously, whenever someone brings up this bullshit- I want to treat them as slow and explain that 'Just because YOU don't get it doesn't mean you get to harass and abuse other people.'
Kudos to her! I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say that this so-called teacher is just as horrible to the gay kids, the not-white kids, the immigrant kids, any kids that don't follow the same religion as he does, any kids of the same religion who aren't "doing it right", and all of the girls (based on how he treated the mom). Which is to say, probably most of the kids there, if that school has even a whisker of diversity in it. Her taking action is likely going to help darn near every kid that comes into contact with that guy.
I mean... it said it... Catholic school... why was anything else expected?! I think the Mum is arguing too much, there's no convincing such creatures. I get the urge, I really get it, just does nothing, gives it more chance to spew hate.
@@ShanRenxin as the teacher said it's a catholic school, I am VERY confident that he does not accept other religions. I do agree with you on this. God, I hope he lost his job. Those ppl should not be around children
That boss that has 5 trans employees. Its my headcannon that he hired somebody and they informed the boss they are trans and the boss was chill, so they told their trans friends and they all applied for any vacancies and were hired because the boss is awesome.
22:15 Her saying that being trans comes from depression and anxiety is close but backwards, being depressed and anxious comes from being trans without having a proper support system. Really hope she learns that someday
she's so close lol "transitioning usually comes from mental problems like depression and anxiety" and what do you think the depression and anxiety is coming from🤔
The direct link to symptoms comes from gender dysphoria, which is treated with transitioning. To understand the actual physiology and psychology of it is beyond transphobes though
High school educator here, and my heart bleeds and I’m HORRIFIED by that british teacher. Hope he was fired! Our trans students are loved, respected, supported and protected by my colleagues and I, and we work tirelessly to make sure they know and feel that daily ❤️
the day my best friend came out to our school librarian (as we worked shifts there together- i kinda encouraged this bc i was worried i'd accidentally out him but also said to do it when he wanted) and our psych teacher, both automatically called him by his preferred name immediately
your comment genuinely makes me so happy, i'm glad there are teachers out there making sure trans kids feel safe at school. i live in a country that's behind in queer acceptance so it can be depressing at times. they've passed a law against the discussion of queer identities ("lgbtq+ propaganda" as they like to call it) in schools for example, but i hope things will look up soon enough. keep up the amazing work, you make a huge difference in those kid's lives, i'm sure of it.❤️
@@strangeclay9 Thank you for your lovely and kind words! ❤️ I’m so sorry your country isn’t as progressive in terms of queer acceptance, and I totally understand how that could bring you down. Ouuuff, the «queer agenda» or «lgbtq+ propaganda» are awful and demeaning buzzwords made by ignorant people. 🤮 They’re just kids! They all deserve to feel valued, loved and that they’re accepted as they are. Hoping things will look up for you and not to mention the queer communities 🤞
Did anyone else catch the transphobic teacher accidentally gender his student correctly? @18:29"The girl is what? 14? 15?" So he acknowledges that she is a girl, but is just vehemently against respecting her, bc he's horrible.
I caught that, he's being an asshole on purpose. God I have no patience for these people, if I was in the place of that mom I'd be in jail for throwing a chair at that guy's face.
I was watching this video while drinking my tea before getting ready for bed for a bit of entertainment and the part about top surgery and the regret rate hit home. I came back a week ago from visiting family (including my dad) that were very misinformed about transitioning. Their views werent enough to make me doubt myself. However my dad begged me to wait before getting top surgery (i am on a waiting list and im nearly 19). He genuinely begged me not to do it, to wait to be sure i wouldnt regret it. There were other horrible comments he made in regards to me being a trans man. That all put some doubts in me and ive been struggling somewhat with them for the past two weeks. You talking about top surgery brought me to tears, you gave me back the same confidence I have in who I am and my decisions before all the things my dad said. Im so grateful. I feel like you healed that part of me that my dad hurt and i thank you for it :)) I hope you have a wonderful day, thank you very much for this, i really needed it
Don't ever let people tell you what to do with your body. Your family sounds like they are struggling to understand who you are. But thats their problem! Don't make it yours. Life is too short, just be happy! Sending love and confidence to you!
@@mychemicalrelapse yep. People like that will always be "just wait a few more years". I've wanted top surgery since I was 10, and I didn't even know what top surgery was, just that I wanted my chest to go goodbye. I've been told by so many people "just wait a couple years and you'll be glad you didn't do it cause you'll have changed your mind"...I'm in my late 20s, "a couple years" has gone by multiple times and the only thing that's changed is I want it more.
He's what every boss ought to be. I've had a couple of bosses like that. I've never been a boss myself, but having been a parent and a schoolteacher, and having paid attention to how much (and how little) effort bosses have put into looking after workplaces I've been in, I know how much work it can be to be an actually good boss.
@@hawkeyescoffee6399 That one act takes only a little effort, but each similar act takes more, and beofre long the boss runs out of spoons (yes, being the boss costs spoons, too).
The point is that calling him that name would mean participating in his beliefs about gender identity. The teacher doesn't share those beliefs, clearly. Neither he nor anyone else has ANY obligation to participate in your religious beliefs or your ideological ones; and that's the problem with the way you whine about people "misgendering" you and that apparently being so bad... I don't believe in "gender identity". I don't believe you have this internal gender identity that can be at odds with your physical sex. Sure, there are an extremely small number of people with genuine sex dysphoria, and I do feel for them. Like anyone else they deserve compassion and treatment. The issue is that coping with their sex dysphoria by identifying as "trans" and wanting to undergo body modifications to "transition"; is a choice - a belief about having a gender identity; and a belief about how to deal with sex dysphoria. Dysphoria can and should be treated by therapy and if someone could learn to be comfortable in their own body that is a million times preferable to chopping their body up instead. No one needs to call you an opposite gendered name if they don't want to. You can act like it's just about respect or being nice all you want; but that's not the truth and that is manipulation. It's actually just about you having a belief system that other people do not; and that no person should be pressured to participate in your beliefs with you.
@@Rad_AkaliThere's nothing ideological about learning and using a kid's name. We've had Patricias that wanted to be called Lilly because there were 7 Patricia's and the teacher had no problem learning and respecting that. How is that any different? How is it that teacher's personal beliefs are more important than kid's comfort?
@@Rad_Akali That's like you telling me your name and me going... nah, you look like an Adolf. I'm going to call you Adolf and you can't tell me otherwise because that's manipulation.
@@Rad_Akali Conversation therapy doesn't work. Never has, never will. There's no "believing in gender identity" there's believing the FACT that gender exists and there's ignoring that FACT to be an asshole. Purposely misgendering someone can absolutely be a hate crime against a minority and I'm glad people like you are becoming less and less acceptable in our society.
"I identify as non-confrontational" I felt that one in my core. I often bite my tongue when I notice people being against transgenders and not mention that I'm non-binary. I just don't want to start an uncomfortable situation. I know it's maybe not the best thing to do but I just can't stand up like that yet. I do try to steer the conversation a bit and try to push back a bit when it gets really bad or when I feel maybe I can have a bit of an informative conversation but it's hard.
I feel you. I try to avoid confrontations in everything I do and it has made me not correct anyone who misgendered me or otherwise. Hopefully you don't need to bite your tongue too often.
I feel the same way. I'm not surrounded by English in daily life, the language I have doesn't have neutral pronouns so I'm not used to correcting people in person because usually there's just no option. I try my best to push back on harmful beliefs while also trying to remain safe and not paint a target on my own back. Being careful isn't bad.
I’m not socially anxious whatsoever, but when it comes to some gender stuff, I only feel safe enough to like under my breath say “actually it’s they….” While whispering Don’t feel scared to scream at people to not call me “lady” though, I HATE gendered language SO MUCH AAAAA
Most of the genderqueer kids at my high school are like that, myself included. People who say that all trans people get super loudly upset when you misgender them are WILD.
2:20 in my sophomore year of high school, I wasn’t able to change my name but the school gave us these bar code stickers so we could pay for snacks and stuff without bringing a card, and they all had our legal names on them. One of the office attendants, before handing me my barcode sticker scribbled out my deadname and wrote my preferred name above it. That seriously had me smiling all month!
I always wonder what people are thinking in their home?like for example do you make your spouse use a separate bathroom in a heterocouple? What if theres only one bathroom? As for the public: Gender neutral and sinks INSIDE the cubicles please! I would like to wash my hands before I have to unlock a stall door!
@@ekl1457come to Finland. Many, though not all, have them, because we prefer to use a small shower to wash after number two, so there's a little sink to turn the tap on first. They rarely have soap though, but still
well in public, men go with men....woman go with woman.......If you don't like it, don't go out side to public places.....the world does not revolve around you people
The thing that annoys me most about the 1% regret rate is that it doesn't account for the reason for the regret. For example, the surgery may and could have been done wrong, aka in top surgery, the patient may not have felt like enough tissue was taken off or the surgery caused other problems for example, im not trans, gender nonconforming, but I've had surgery to remove my 1st rib and i found the recovery was so bad that i , if i went back in time, would have probably taken more thought of the consequences of what the surgery could do to my body. Im self conscious of the scars im left with and how the surgery has changed the look of my chest but not the reason behind them. Still im not upset i had the surgery but in many ways i regret having the surgery. The 1% doesn't take into account of the reason behind the regret. It may have nothing to do with being trans but how the after surgery recovery effected them.
Exactly. Some people regret the surgeon they chose, and some of them regret not having demanded follow-up surgical corrections when the body parts didn't heal in a way they'd hoped. Most trans people with bad surgery results don't regret having gotten the surgery. They just regret who did it or how it was done.
Worth mentioning that the lil "name change on paystubs" act of kindness is an even bigger deal for immigrants. Sex marker change can be difficult for immigrants; usually the process involves amending birth documents and if your documents aren't from your country of residence/citizenship then you need a method to legally formalize the change regardless, either by contacting your birth country and getting the birth certificate amended through them, or overstepping their jurisdiction over your birth documents through your current country. This can take years. So yeah, the sticky note helps.
16:36 My dad is a teacher and hearing this entire tiktok made me so mad. My dad doesn’t even come close to understanding most lgbtq+ stuff, but if he can come home and ask me how to properly refer to a student of his that just came out as non-binary (he didn’t even know what the term non-binary was btw, this was entirely new to him. he was just like “So I have a student who is trans- no not that. They’re uh… a they?” I just said “A non-binary person” and he was just like “Yes, thank you. A non-binary kid” it was adorable), this teacher who has been explicitly told exactly what to call the trans student, can suck it up and call her the right name and pronouns.
You dad sounds like the sweetest teacher ever. Please let him know from this random stranger on the internet that *HE* gives hope to so many people and he has no idea.
My Golden Rule when it comes to trans-affirming surgery: "You don't need this to be valid (as a trans person), but if this is what you want then I'll support you every step of the way
Right, like, you don’t want breasts? Cool, you’re still trans. You want your breasts still? You’re trans if you say you are. You don’t wanna change your name? That’s cool too. If someone identifies as something, nonbinary, trans, other under that spectrum, as long as they say it they’re valid. Your identity changes over time? Still valid. I love this.
me to my transfem fiancee.. she goes back and forth between i dont want it cause it may mess up and i do want it cause no one will accept me as a woman without it... and i have to tell her every time that I WILL ALWAYs SEE HER AS A WOMAN, and that random strangers do not matter. if she wants surgery for herself, she should get it but if she wants it for other peoples acceptance, she doesnt need that.
1:38 as he said the thing about 'the going out flannel' i just looked at my shelf where my green 'going out flannel' hangs and i felt very called out as well.
18:41 I hate that people like this teacher still exist, but I’m glad that Ellie is this lady’s kid and not the teacher’s. Shout out to all the amazing supportive trans parents out there
My given name is Gracie, when I was little I hated when people would call me grace and my mum told me when I’m older people will call me grace more than gracie and that never made sense to me because that wasn’t my name. Now, she’s the type of person who would give any excuse to not call me by a name I ask her to instead of Gracie, so we settled on Gray because that is Gracie without the cie, simple enough right? But no she can’t do that?
I used to call my friend John, "Jonathan", thinking John was just short for Jonathan, until one day he pulled out a book (it was awhile back) and showed me they were two different names with two different histories going back thousands of years. The German name "Willy" isn't short for "William", either, although many Williams are called Willy. AFAIK, there is no traditional name "Dave", but if someone names their kid "Dave", why insist on calling him "David"?
Hi there, this sounds like a tough situation. I have been through something similar with my dad, and it turns out he needed a lot of time. We're not completely there yet, I think my birthname is still in his phone, but he does call me by my actual name now. My point is to be patient with your mum, and with time, it'll get better. There are things you can do to make that wait shorter, for example: find someone in your life who calls you Gray, and frequently interacts with your mum. This person will call you Gray to your mum. I had someone like this in my dad's life who helped him get used to my new name. And another tip: once I talked to my dad about why I changed my name and how much happier I feel now that I've transitioned, he actually started trying. He made mistakes, but practise makes perfect eventually :)
I went through something similar in early childhood. My given name is Isabell, German spelling, and instead of going for the French Isabelle or English? Isabel, most people would call me Isabella, the Spanish version. It infuriated me so much I still can't tolerate the name...
Omg I’m going through the same thing. My REAL name is Margaret but i use to have the nickname Emma. I came to love my real name but my parents still call me by my nickname. When they mention not wanting to be called Emma all I say is “you shouldn’t have named me that then.” It’s really ridiculous especially since I have a trans brother. It’s not hard, they just don’t want to change. They want you to be miserable to have power over you. You’re doing your best, and i hope you continue standing up for yourself!
I just wanna say, I came across one of your videos that are unrelated to trans stuff and I was just like "Oh, this guys pretty cute. Ill scroll through the rest of the videos". AND LET ME TELL YOU. THE GASP I GASPED, THE SHOCK THAT WAS SHOOK WHEN I REALIZED YOU WERE TRANS?? It was insane. I'm a trans woman myself, but ive had a few trans masc friends and it feels so cool to me that the person im looking at on the screen now, represents the progress that they could have. You are a genuine inspiration. p.s. I love the content
I've had coworkers try to guess my deadname by calling me by different names starting with 'M'. Literally everytime I just go 'My name is Marlett, We've been over this.' My deadname does not start with 'M', so right off the bat, they're failing 😂
I kept the same initials as my deadname in tribute to my family, & literally no one can guess it even so! The names are just so dead common no one thinks of them. Why do people even try to guess deadnames? They already KNOW your REAL name... Like this: Let me guess your real name. It's Marlett Pines, right? See how easy that is?
this is exactly why i've kept my deadname entirely different to my name! literally on separate ends of the alphabet. no ones got hope of guessing it or anything near it. my friend was actually shocked when he found out what it was because he had expected it to be somewhat closer (he found my mums facebook and she has my deadname on there) :D
Sometimes I go by A. It’s the first letter of my name, but to people who know me by my deadname it just sounds like a massive mispronounciation of that lol
@@Leo-yooobviously just an elder, which is a normal term for an older person, who is queer. But the way you said it made me think of it like it's an Elder Scrolls title now lol "The Elder Queer", like it's a dragon hahaha
Hi there! 47 year old trans masc here, I was AFAB, learned that top surgery and hormone therapy was available to me when I was in my late 30's. Never regretted one single thing about any part of my transition! I'm also disabled and have an autoimmune disorder that unfortunately makes it hard for my body to heal correctly from surgery, so I've never had the chance to get lower surgery, but hopefully some small changes might still be in the works if the US falls in my favor this election season 🤞
I'll be voting for the party of gender-affirming care. I lost my AFAB son to self-deletion at age 25 before he was able to get any of the care he hoped for & needed, like T & top surgery. He would be 33 this autumn. I know I'm just a random stranger on the internet, but please believe I'm rooting for you & all the other trans people who are out there trying to live their best lives despite the negative backlash. I find it strangely comforting that guys like you & Jamie have been able to be the men you knew you were supposed to be.
@@starrywizdom I am so sorry for your loss. Also sorry that the situation in the US seems to be going backwards as knowledge has improved about the whole lgbt+ world.
@@starrywizdom I am so sorry you lost your daughter that way. Please realize though that what she needed was therapy, not extreme body modifications that attempt to emulate the features of the opposite sex. She did not kill herself because she couldn't cut her breasts off; she killed herself because she had a serious mental illness and hated her own body so much she didn't want to live in it. And please do not fucking vote for "gender-affirming care". It is nauseating to call something so terrible "care" in the first place.
16:25 I got my first period the summer between 3rd and 4th grade. Fourth grade was when they split up the boys and girls and taught the girls about periods. I remember everyone freaking out, and I was just sitting there pissed off that I was the only one who has already experienced it. Fyi, I'm transmasc/nonbinary now, came out last year.
Periods happen early in my family, too! The "health ed" classes I had weren't until I was in 6th grade and I'd already been dealing with mine for a couple years at that point! SMH Congrats on coming out, I hope it's going well for you! ♥
Jamie thank you for including the older trans community,we are a little bit invisible,there seems to be a notion that Trans people don't age,or even don't exist (I have heard that a few times) I'm 56 and a gay trans man and I don't know any other trans men or women my age or older,but I sense the older trans community is larger than people realise.I transitioned in a time before the internet even existed no social media,mobile phones etc, terminology was different,no gender clinics and had my surgery in my teens in a different country,no pronouns either at that time. But also a lot of people transition later in life as well but it isn't talked about. I think older trans people just get forgotten about,it just happens. (matt) P.s Was glad to see that in your brilliant book the older trans voice and experience was given a place. In any discissions about the trans community in the media etc older trans people just don't get a mention,it's not intentional,older trans people just aren't thought about or seen as part of the conversation,if that makes sense.
Hey are you familiar with "Stealth: A Transmasculine Podcast"? They focus on transmasculine people who transitioned around or before the year 2000. Could be a great place to see and connect with the older portion of the community :)
I've learned so much from your videos. I'm the lucky mom, my child is 21 NB and it's very helpful to know how to best support them and understand things. I don't know everything, still learning. But I'm very glad that I found your channel. Love from North Carolina ❤
Simply being WILLING to learn instead of just turning a blind eye and ignoring, trying to fight it, or saying it's just a phase is already so much of what we all want. Thank you for putting in the effort!
I found this channel in 2019-2020, in my quest to be a good ally/advocate for my enby firstborn. (Dr. Jamie is such a good teacher!) I have since learned that I also have a trans daughter. Lots of people change their style or what they prefer to be called over the years, it's really not a big deal to adjust, is it.
As a nonbinary adult, who doesn't have the support of my family, I'm genuinely so soft seeing parents being supportive and doing their most for their LGBT+ kids
Interesting you should say that, because I used to know someone who used to be a helicopter evac medic in Afghanistan and transitioned after being discharged, and now identifies not only as a woman but as a Valkyrie in an Asatru temple (Pagan worshippers of the Norse gods). Before I met her, it never occurred to me how similar evac medics and Valkyries are: descending on the battlefield from the sky to scoop up the dying warriors and carry them away to a place of comfort and healing.
~18:30 I like the Freudian slip of calling her "the girl" even while trying to insist she's a boy, shows that the teacher doesn't actually have a hard time seeing her as a girl.
I love that Jammi cites all his sources. It means I can look up those articles and statistics to more effectively educate and argue with bigoted people
Hehe his name is spelled Jamie. And yeah he's really good at citing sources. He wants us to be able to both verify what he's saying and do further reading if we want to. Unlike the PragerU dumpster fire that just says something outrageous with nothing to back it up.
@@HarryHarrison-j1h i can bet any transphobic sources that you have are full of lies, twisted half-truths, opinions and are most likely sourced from rigged sites that are full of transphobes. Jamie has a masters degree and a PHD in psychology I'm pretty sure he knows what he's on about.
Here in the US the same people who say that passing gun control laws won’t stop criminals are the same people who think a bathroom sign is going to stop sexual predators.
yes its infuriating. the amount of times i've had to tell people that a bathroom sign on a door is not gonna stop predatory people from entering a bathroom of the opposite sex (not to mention all the r@pe that occurs between people of the same sex) to hurt them is ridiculous. A sign does nothing. No ones gonna go through the effort and the intense backlash and hate from bigots to pretend to be trans just to go into a bathroom and hurt people. theyre just gonna go in anyway. then we have the fact that trans men being pushed into womens bathrooms will be putting so much more men into there. thats gonna make women even more uncomfortable because trans men ARE men and we look just like cis men (those of us who pass). Then we also have the fact that pushing trans men into those bathrooms will make it SO much easier for predatory cis men who just walk in under the guise of 'im a trans man'. which is exactly the flip around scenario of what these transphobes are 'protecting' women against.
Older trans guy here (I turned 47 a couple of weeks ago)! I socially transitioned in 2011, started hormones in 2012, had chest surgery in 2015, and had lower surgery in Jan of 2024! Still hoping for either revisions or an abdominal phallo (depending on what the surgeon says about the revisions). Happy to answer any questions!
The chest dysphoria is so real. It doesn’t matter how flat I got it it feels massive. Being genderfluid and experiencing the reverse is very trippy as well, because once in a while it feels concave no matter how much padding I get.
My favorite positive trans stereotype is that we are super creative and have unique humor so I love this 🫶 YAY TRANS POSITIVITY and thank you so much allies, y'all SAVE LIVES genuinely 🥺 We so need people like you rn
10:40 Sir Spencer Bergsted! I came out as trans in 2001. So I'm kind of an elder to people transitioning now. But there were only a couple dozen publicly-known trans people at the time and they were elders to me, who I looked up to. He was one of them. I'm so proud of them, they deserve their flowers.
@@pixel_chip0 Aww thanks. I was 16. (and if I do the maths right, I think you're about the same). I had never realized there were other people like me. I was out as bi but that wasn't really it. I wasn't just gender non-conforming, I was dysphoric. I just didn't know the word. When I finally happened across stories of trans people, I instantly recognized myself in them and I had the words. So that gave me hope. I had a rough time starting out because my parents weren't supportive so I had to wait until after high school to medically transition but at least I had hope and I met other trans people online and in real life. I met my trans boyfriend in 2002, when I was 17 and he was 16, and we helped each other start our transitions. It is very good to find and build community to know that we're not alone. I fell away from community for too long, there was a lot of pressure even in the trans community, to be "stealth", to just transition and live your life as though you were cis, telling very few people. Reconnecting with the trans community over the past two years has been wonderful. I also recognized that I was being scared into a binary gender I didn't really resonate with just to fit in. So I was able to publicly affirm being nonbinary and using they/them without as much fear of people knowing I'm trans, even at work. So even though I've been out as trans from 16-40, more than half my life and all of my adult life, I don't think of my transition as over -- in a good way. I think understanding my own gender and creating my own future and way I present and interact with the world will be something that grows and evolves throughout my whole life. Whatever your path, find the people who can connect with you and share those same experiences. Blending in with the cis is overrated.
It's wild how I thought I wouldn't live past 18, then past 23 and now I'm 26, living my best life and learning of all these people that got to live in a way I used to only dream of
I’m already feeling nostalgic. Jamie’s trans meme videos helped my sheltered ass realize that I was nonbinary! I’m so much happier than I was back then. Thank you, Jamie! ❤️
Same for me!! The trans meme vids had me go "wait i relate to this quite a bit actually" Took me almost a year of questioning to figure out i was nonbinary/agender! Its been like 4 years now since i found jamies channel
Haha actually me too. I remember being like “I like to watch a variety of youtubers! this is so interesting! I go down rabbit holes all the time! Completely aside from that, am I queer or not?” 🥚
I'm a transguy and the first thing people ask when I came out was "when are you cutting your hair?" I like my hair long so i just point out 90's metal rock bands hair styles. Also, Thank you Jaime, I now realize I am a straight white guy, the very thing I hated when I was a teen.
:'D Hey, at least you're not one of those giving the group a bad rep. In fact you're part of the minority upholding any reputation that group has at all. So thank you and also sorry!
@10:15 He just looks like a normal guy with a dad bod. I have a lot of feelings about this... I'm in my thirties and a lot of people my age have anxiety about aging, but I look at middle aged trans guys and it just makes me happy. I want this future. I just had top surgery two weeks ago (August 5th) so I'm still healing. Bandages come off on Tuesday.
Congrats! That's awesome! Good luck with the healing. Don't push yourself faster than you're supposed to. ;) (As a nurse I'm legally obligated to add unsolicited medical mommy nagging)
I wonder if he has the same rhetoric about knives or guns. They're easily far more dangerous than the "trans boogeyman" from the nonsense he's been fed.
11:00 Every time I see an older queer/trans/etc person, it makes me very happy. Not just because it's a big FU to the bigots nowadays who say it's just a new age trendy thing, but also, because these people made it. They survived.
Teacher: why should we listen to you and care about what you want your daughter to be called? Me: You know what, Mrs. Riley? You've got a point, ma'am.
@_StarlightRose_ I once had a bigot correct themselves after misgendering a dog in front of me and then shoot me this incredibly guilty look when she saw me smirking at her, giving more respect to an animal then she gave me.
I am non-binary (genderfluid) and I haven't completed the process to legally change my name until this Summer. I think the most heartwarming time is when my college professor accidentally wrote my deadname on a document when she was trying to make groups for an assignment. She freaked out more than I did and profusely apologized. I do appreciate the people like this more than those refusing to use my real name.
Hi, Jamie! First of your videos for me, cis, hetero, senior chick, here. Oh my goodness! I SO appreciate your compassion, wit, and effective educational style (citing sources, even!). I have two educator friends who focus on the LGBTQ+ community, one of which has a collge-age child transitioning. Will share this with them. Loved seeing the older person; really warmed my heart to see someone who is clearly at ease with themselves. (And yes! Terrific beard!😊) You, my dear, are brilliant, adorable, and I'd be thilled to have a kiddo like you. ("Childless cat lady," here!😂) Please keep doing what you are doing!❤
I don't why, but when I think of transphobes I think of them in a Hank Hill voice, but Hank would react to a trans person like "Well I don't know what a transgender is, but if you're happy I won't stop you"
there was actually that one episode with the drag queen and it was probably one of the most positive compared to other adult cartoons like simpsons or family guy
@@Swagsoviet06 In that episode, Hank could NOT wrap his head around a man dressing as a woman, so much so that he would not speak to the drag queen's drag persona, but he would speak to the drag queen's "brother", AKA the drag queen in men's clothes with a deep voice. 😅
The toilets in women's bathrooms almost ALL can lift the seats for standing up. Bathrooms are bathrooms. People always stutter when you bring up that women can be predators too when they spout off about men in the women's bathroom. Maybe we shouldn't be allowing small children to go to the bathroom alone? Why would you send your small son into the "proper" men's restroom with all these old "predators"? Many p3dos, if not most, would hurt biologically male children too given the chance. Such a ridiculous discourse from conservatives.
The transphobes think we want some large communal bathroom where everyone just goes around with their junk out, but in reality, I just want a bit of privacy and stall doors that actually go to the floor.
Some places have even had gender-neutral bathrooms for a long time just so there are places where it's easier to change a baby's diaper. I've never heard a peep about being afraid of men going in to harm anyone because it doesn't happen there, either. People just want to get rid of their bodily wastes in peace. Weirdos are going to be weirdos no matter what the rules are.
I was at Steve Hofstetter's show last year in Chattanooga. He did his entire set in a dress, and it was all new material targeting Tennessee's new anti drag legislation. It was spot on, hilarious, and fucken brilliant!
19:07 I bet my English teacher is the same way. Some kids in my homeroom class go by nicknames, but I bet if I said I wanted to go by my chosen name, Alexander, she would flip out.
When I was in 3rd grade my teachers all asked kids with long names what they wanted to be called and when I asked my teacher years later if she could call me by a name that was actually easier to pronounce for her than my legal name (I’m an immigrant and people always struggled with my legal name because it’s not common or pronounceable really) she smiled and giggled sarcastically and said ‘I’m not gonna do that, sweetheart.’ In front of the whole class. Huh.
If that happens, you can always misgender the teacher back. "Oh sorry, sir! Excuse me Mr. Smith!" Because hey, apparently HE doesn't think it's such a big problem anyway 😊😊
Some more about the bathroom thing that is always left out. I’m a cisgender gay male and I’ve had to use locker rooms since I was swimming at the YMCA back when I was eight. Starting there and going all the way until now, it has never mattered to so many guys at the gym that kids are also using the gym, they walk around full junk out all over the place. The old men would stand there at the Y talking loudly with their penises out, bringing attention to themselves with their barrel laughs. There were at least three dudes in junior and high school who developed early who would walk around almost trying to BAIT other guys into scooping out their bits. I’m not talking about the showers here, I’m talking about full out wandering around the men’s locker room with their stuff out, no towel around the waist, just letting everything flop in the wind. How is the problem trans people when this has been an experience that I’ve had for over three decades?
OT1H, you raise a very good point (no pun intended) - and it happens in women's locker rooms, too. OTOH, why shouldn't we all get at least a little more comfortable with our bodies? I remember a high school girl who found out it wasn't illegal to go topless in our town, so she started walking in the main shopping mall topless, enjoying the attention it got her. The mall's management put up with it until she started rubbing her chest against the windows of restaurants to get the attention of diners, at which point they barred her, threatening to have her arrested because "making a lewd and lascivious display" *_WAS_* illegal.
Well, @theresas740, your objection to trans woman using thre women's locker room is that "transwomens' [sic] block and tackle is in the locker room with women." Where do you think trans women's bodies should be? Should they endure the humiliation of being the only women who are refused access to the women's locker room, and be forced to use the men's locker room? Be subjected to sexual aggression and abuse from hostile and/or fetishizing men? You're okay with women and girls suffering like that? Or are you saying they should just sit at home and play Farmville? Do, please, explain exactly what you have in mind. What sort of abuse do you want to inflict upon trans women and trans girls?
@@arcadiaberger9204 going topless is not the same as going bottomless. Breasts are not genitalia and shouldn’t be sexualized, whereas a penis or vagina is not appropriate to be walking around uncovered around strangers especially children.
@@shiroiojicosplay9622 i am a Man who thanks to a hormonal condition looks like a Woman. But i am still a Man identity as such and therefore will not use the Womens locker rooms. You should see the faces of those junk out Guys when i enter the locker room.
20:21 brb crying. I tried to come out in 2018 as trans and got pushed back in the closet because I thought I WAS WRONG. Believe your kids man. Listen to them and especially the things that they have to work up courage to say.
Me before realising I'm enby, saying I relate to every bit of Trans* content and having a lot of Trans/enby friends and feeling safe relating to them but not knowing why 😂
I'm a cis gender woman raising 2 cis gender daughters. I live in a very conservative community. When boy/ girl distinctions come up in public, like adults wondering if they've correctly gendered a baby or a child, or an adult makes a comment like - boys will be boys, etc. Now I say, loudly and with direct eye contact. 'It probably doesn't matter what's in their pants, let's just say child in a blue shirt. Or. Oh, honey, I don't think that behavior is because of the genitals they have.' Adults get very flustered. My kids talk about adults and kids, long and short hair. But we don't emphasize boy or girl.
23:40 I believe this is important to say. at one point in my life I would have said and believed every word that this girl said. I was a “progressive” Christian in some ways, but I had been taught this exact message my whole life and would regurgitate it with a huge smile on my face.. Jamie hit the nail on the head, people like this have no idea what they are talking about because they have never even attempted to understand. The reality is that if you want to continue to be a Christian and not be butting up against the problematic principles of the religion you have to shut yourself off from a lot of understanding and experience, that’s why many of these kids “accept and love” but also have such unrealistic expectations without any substance. My update is that I stopped believing that line of thought and after that stopped believing in a higher power, but I always think if there is one, they definitely wanted me to TRULY love, accept and understand lgbtq+ people, because my sister came out as a lesbian, my brother came out as asexual, and about 8 years ago I came out as bi. We were all Christians that repressed and shut away that part of ourselves, it wasn’t an easy road, but I’m happy to say I have an even stronger relationship with my siblings now and feel truly lucky.
If there really was a person (or multiple people) who inspired the Jesus legends, that person would've been in favor of LGBTQIA+ rights. Matthew 22:37-40 & Matthew 25:40 taken together mean that Jesus in the Bible proclaims ANYONE who truly loves ANYONE is SAVED. How would such a person NOT believe Love is Love? How could that person NOT be for identifying others in the way that is kindest to them? How could that person think someone's mere existence would be a sin? IT MAKES NO SENSE.
I think something a lot of people don't understand is that faith and religion are not the same thing. Religion is a set of societal norms determined by people meant to lead to a harmonious congregation of the faithful. Faith is between you and whatever higher power you believe in. I've seen people say that if religion changes with society it cannot possibly be true. But religion is not faith and it is people trying to make sense of their experience with divinity (which is what would have lead them to faith). I guess what I'm trying to say is: you are right, as a queer Christian, I believe that God wants us to love unconditionally and that they don't care about what we do in the bedroom or how we express ourselves in the bodies they gave us (also: who said God should be male? If God is as powerful as they say, how could a concept like gender restrict them?). If you ever end up missing your faith, there are quite a few lgbtq+ congregations out there (I know of a church where they do a "name blessing" which is like a baptism to their new name for trans people - I guess this depends on the country and area you are in). I've heard a lot of people say that they miss their faith sometimes, that's the only reason I'm even saying this (and I guess, I hope to restore your faith in humanity a little bit). I won't be the person who'll try to convince you of something you don't want or try to give a long argument for why "you chose wrong" (is there any argument more stupid?). I wish you well on your life's journey. I hope you'll be blessed with happiness and good fortune.
@@starrywizdom I understand where you’re coming from, I have made the same argument in the past.. Matthew is saying to treat others well, and 15:20 is explaining what treating others well means, this is always a passage used to show the love Christians should have, that you push people to repent for sins, and if that doesn’t work then you treat them the way Jesus treated sinners, which is obviously with love… but it is a very Christian idea of love, meaning it doesn’t change what they define as sin, it is just saying to treat sinners respectful as that might bring them to god (parable of the lost sheep). It shouldn’t take a lot of empathy to understand that viewing someone as an evil person but treating them nicely isn’t the best ground for a friendship, especially it you consider that the implication is that if you are kind to a “sinner” they may change, and that should be a basis of your relationship, and when you further consider that the Christian hope in this case is that the friend will no longer be lgbtq+ (or won’t act on it) it is especially bad.
@@cassandramuller7337 thank you for being kind, I have come to the decision that whatever happens, I would only want to be saved by a god that would take me just as I am.
@@vcvcvc9216 The God I believe in would definitely do that. It's about love and not condemnation. I think you've already figured out the truth. But like I said: Faith is a personal journey and I don't believe in persuading people. That would mean that they'd believe in me and that is just some bs because what do I know? I think you're a very wonderful person from this short exchange. Don't let anyone take that from you. And don't let anyone tell you that you're not good enough.
I sometimes work with a trans boy from a different shop (he/they pronouns. They are honestly the best, I love working with him so much). He is really early in his transition and still working things out, ie deciding on a name etc. so whenever I see them, I either just refer to them by the name on their name badge, or if they have forgotten it, I'll ask 'what name are you going by now?' and they are just so happy that I checked and that I cared. It's not hard at all to just call people by their chosen name and pronouns. Yes, you might make a mistake. I have 2 NB coworkers and sometimes I accidentally slip and misgender them, but I immediately correct myself and move on. I'm still learning, but I want to do better and be a better ally.
NORMALIZE THIS!!! even for basic things like friendship or just talking to people I shouldn't have to PUT UP with someone that DOSN'T SUPPORT ME!! no one should have to!
Showed the older dude to my husband because as you said it's rare to see people who have already walked the path. And all he could see was the awesome beard 😂💜
Spencer is such a blessing. I had the honor to work for a podcast that he agreed to participate in a while ago. So much love and respect to our trans elders. The bigots who keep on parroting the same shit over and over again can suck it; We've always existed and I am so grateful to have older trans people putting themselves out there on social media where they can be seen, they are beacons of hope to me.
I heard a very comforting perspective from Tina Friml (CP comedian), which translates here: being trans is actually the best thing in the world because it preselects the ppl that you want to surround yourself with and you end up with very kind and compassionate friends. It's an immediate screening
I love Steve Hofstetter's comedy (the gentleman at 4:46 ). He wore a dress on stage in Tennessee to protest an anti drag law 2 days after the law was passed (he looked very nice) and he puts out as an all around cool guy (I've seen him live a few times and intend to go see him next time he's in town)
He also talked during the drag about having an "oh" moment, when he went to buy the dress, a one time thing, and didn't know whether to use the women's change room or the men's. And for a second, he had a taste of what trans people face.
i love seeing people speak on their top surgery. the dysphoria around my chest has been with me since puberty. i hated when my breast started coming and would wear sports bras to stay as flat as possible. sadly i was pushed to wear normal bras for formal events and then it became a regular expectation. I never knew why back then and knowing the info that is more available now makes it very apparent what i was back then. lack of information doesn't stop you from being who you are. it makes you confused and willing to make yourself unhappy to please others bc you dont think you have a choice.
Thank you! THIS IS SO SO SO TRUE. I had no idea there was such a thing as Ace, only that it was in the DSM as something like "Sexual Avoidant Disorder" until the DSM 5, and that the nickname for cis women who didn't enjoy sex was "a cold fish." So I had sex with my romantic partners, because I thought it was simply the "price of admission" for a relationship. I figured I was just broken because I didn't enjoy it, and if I did it enough I'd start to like it. Funny thing is, I never did. At worst it was painful and boring, at best it was like riding a Ferris Wheel - it goes up, it goes down, nothing exciting about it. Honestly my mind would wander to what I was going to do once they were done and how I'd rather be reading a book. After about 30 years, I figured out that it doesn't make me broken. It makes me Asexual. [Edit: I had trans friends before I even knew Ace was a thing. I knew two Trans women who transitioned in the 80s and early 90s. One of them, named Susan, was my computer science professor. She was so out and proud that in her book sleeve, it started her bio with "Susan, formerly Richard, has two adult daughters and ..." I don't remember the rest. I'd include her last name, but it's not my story to share. Doubt she'd care, but like I said.] No idea if this is relevant, as I do think of myself as a cis woman, but the worst times in my life were also when I started developing breasts at age 12, and when I started menstruating, later on when I was 12. And I took after my dad's side and had huge bazoombas, unlike my mom and her mom. I had a breast reduction to get DOWN to a DD almost 15 years ago. I hated them and I wanted them gone. They garner attention I don't want, and just get in the way. Plus I have to wear bigger shirts because I REALLY don't want to have people looking at them. I totally identify with Jamie's story about pulling on his shirts to make sure he didn't look like he had breasts. I still wish I had them totally removed. Maybe I'm nonbinary, or maybe I just don't like having a ridiculously trad "feminine" body shape? Fuck, I don't know. I'm just glad I don't have periods any more, and that at least my bazooms are a total of about 1.4 kilos lighter than they used to be.
@@jooleebilly very much in the same boat. Being genderfluid I am shocked every time I go from laying down to sitting because *bong* they appear. Also happens when leaning over something or someone. Considering I have feeling only around the base of them on my chest wall they really shock me sometimes. Really hope I can have a safe top surgery and be comfortable with myself
Oh, yes, there's so much "weird stuff" that I did or thought growing up that made no sense to me at the time, but in hindsight it makes perfect sense, because now I know I was a girl and just hadn't realized it yet. For girl forced to live as a boy, the "weird stuff" seems perfectly logical now.
I had a hysterectomy for endometriosis reasons. I didn't realise how much my period was giving me severe dysphoria til after. I knew it was an issue before, but OH BOY not ever having to worry about periods ever again? I cry thinking about it
Yep. I called puberty "torture" and thought refusing to wear bras meant my chest wouldn't grow. I said I hated my chest and wanted it gone, only to be laughed at by adults "for acting childish" and told to give it a couple years, I'd absolutely love them. Of course I was acting childish, I was 10, 10 year olds are children. Yeah, it's been well over a decade and I hate them more every day. Instead of knowing I was non-binary and that top surgery was an option (I used to dream about getting breast cancer almost every night because that was the only way I knew to get rid of your chest), I was treated like I was broken, wrong, defective and immature.
i'm sure if you did reproduce, you kid would have the same mental illnesses you have bc you would teach them.......the rest of the parents would be happy your kid would be gone
@@Leo-yoowhat are they arguing about? They're stating what they would do in a specific situation. That's not an argument. It's a statement of opinion.
I started hormone blockers at 16 and then started testosterone a month before my 18th birthday. Now at 22 I’ve had top surgery (nearly two months post op) and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and every day i think about how happy i am that i was able to get top surgery 😊. Never once have i had a thought of regret about anything.
God, I love Steve Hofstetter so much. I may not agree with every single thing he has ever said, but he is so funny and so thoughtful and thought-provoking. His earliest work is good too, but the last three specials, which are free to watch on youtube, have been some of the best political commentary comedy I've ever heard.
That teacher was extremely immature. If a teacher is speaking to a parent in that way, whether its transphobia or not, that's just him doing a bad job. Teachers should act professional on phone calls too, and having some bullshit breakdown over pronouns is definitely not professional...
That's the problem they are so convinced, so far gone, that they think this IS professional, that they are standing up for truth and reality, like a teacher should. They never stop to wonder if maybe, they're wrong. It's arrogant.
The job of a teacher is to educate. While this usually implies educating students, if your *job* entails spreading knowledge, I feel like it would be wise to gain more knowledge yourself. Bottom line, being a transphobic teacher seems like a contradiction in terms.
it really is a contradiction. my science teacher is exactly the example of how a teacher should be. he told us all that if someone says theyre a man, theyre a man and we have no reason to deny that. he made it clear to us all that sex and gender are scientifically two different things. great guy, and it was an instant feeling of safety for me and my friends.
7:44 im trans, and sometimes since my best friend knew me when i thought i was a girl she slips up and accidentally calls me a she or my given name. Its honestly so sweet bc as soon as she realizes she quickly apologizes a bunch and corrects herself.
Reminds me of me, tho im more self critical then apologising. Especially cause i accidentally misgender my bestfriend in my head on rare occasion and i literally feel horrible after. Never done it out loud tho 😂
I relate to this so much lol, i came out about mid 8th grade and I remember one of my friends deadnaming me and was like “shit shit alex i mean alex” and it was so sweet that i didn’t care that they made a mistake in the first place
I'm an older trans person but I didn't start my transition until 5 years ago. I'm so happy for the younger generations being more supported by society in general. Love your authentic life and live it to the fullest.
13:40 it’s interesting, i think there is an overwhelmingly higher amount of cis people that regret their surgeries . This part made me think of how my cousins (cis women ) were telling me to get a boob job bc I’m an AA . I know myself , I don’t want that for my body , I would have regretted it . They didn’t like so much that I reminded them that their surgeries were gender affirming care… but yea , this thought that anyone could know better for how someone else wants their body to look is outrageous to me .
Now I'm imagining a dystopian fiction like *_The Handmaid's Tale_* in which "flatchested" girls who display gender nonconforming behavior are mandated to get boob jobs as part of their "gender-affirming therapy", along with mandatory long hair, mandatory skirts and heels, mandatory body hair removal, &c.
Seriously, welcome to the Xtian Right in the US, aka fans of Xtian Nationalism, aka Jesus 'Sharia' Law. They seem quite confident that they know exactly who Jesus would hate. And they forget that verse in their Good Book that goes "Judge not, lest ye be judged" and all that other stuff about how it's their God's job to punish sinners, not theirs, and how one shouldn't point out the tiny wood sliver in someone else's eye when they have a whole-ass log in their own. I like to call them hypochristians.
I feel so validated as a cis person, when augmentation is referred to as gender affirming. I'm afab, and identify as fem, but never "felt" fem. So to me, wanting an augmentation feels like it's gender affirming.
@@sabaducia Absolutely, breast augmentation is gender-affirming care. Breast reduction surgery is gender-affirming care, too. A brassiere is gender-affirming care. Buying a bikini is gender-affirming care. Anything that makes you feel your gender more is gender-affirming care. I knew a woman who was what most people would describe as a "classic bulldyke", physically. When her lover bought her a pair of cheap fishnet stockings at a Halloween pop-up store, she said it made her see herself in a completely different light. Another perfect example of gender-affirming care.
If trans-affirming care is what will stop transkids from being miserable and prevent self-exits, then there's no question that it's the right thing to do. Love seeing all these happy people!
For conservatives, cruelty is the point. We know the health outcomes and benefits of social and medical transition, then they look at it and go "Nah, I prefer more harm than more trans people". The point is to eradicate us or make us miserable at the very least.
"Trans-affirming care" (child abuse) literally destroys mental development, is extremely unhealthy, and usually the adults convince the child to do it, not the other way around.
Stop perpetuating the myth that kids are going to unalive themselves if they don't transition. 20 years ago "trans kids" was not a thing that existed yet there weren't masses of kids self-deleting themselves. Kids' self-deletion rates haven't dropped when people start "letting" their kids transition. There is no basis to this assertion. You don't have any statistics to back it up, nothing. Transitioning kids is cruel beyond words. Putting a child on a path of puberty blocker, then cross-sex hormones, is horrific medical abuse. The kid will not go through the natural process of puberty his or her body need. We have no idea what the implications of this long term. Well, except from the fact that they become sterile - not "might have fertility issues", not infertile, sterile - that they will have to take sex hormones for the rest of their lives, that they will be in a state of hormonal imbalance for the rest of their life unless they detransition - because their sex is still the one they are born with, so the body expects the levels of sex hormones fitting to the sex - that the males will have micropenis which is an issue if they want to have SRS in the future (and if they don't, they are left looking like a woman... with a micropenis), and that if they detransition, they don't have a mature natural body to get back too. Apart from all the above, which is terrible enough on its own, there might be many other health implications we don't know about yet. And don't tell me "cis people have been taking these medication for 50 years so we know the implications" - no. We don't know. We've never stopped the puberty and then went straight to cross-sex hormones before. So we don't know. These kids are guinea pigs - although I don't know if they even monitored properly and their medical history recorded as it should, so maybe that's not the right term. I don't even know what to call it. It's no different than child castration they used to do to boys who can sing well to preserve their voice.
Thanks for including that clip of Trans Dad Spencer Bergstedt! I don't have tiktok because I know it's not a healthy app for me, so I miss out on a lot of content... but seeing a Trans elder like him is super appreciated!! Seeing a guy still living a healthy life even though he had his top surgery one year after I was born? Super inspiring. It's possible. He communicates so clearly and is so cool.
People saying that "trans people want to show their genitals" is so incorrect, like im not trans, idk what I am but I do know that I deal with extreme gender dysphoria, I can tell you the last thing I want to do is be nude in a locker room, Like bro??
20:16 I have a feeling that if the transphobes see statistics say that most trans kids eventually stop IDing as trans (a.k.a. the ones done for the old diagnostic criteria), they will talk about how it's a phase, but if you show them statistics that say that most trans kids will remain trans (the ones for the new criteria), they will say that affirming their gender causes them to remain trans, and if you "stand your ground and don't indulge them," then they'll grow up as good, "normal" cis kids. There's no way to win with these people.
the statistics most people tend to cite for this conflate identifying as trans with just being gender nonconforming, which is problematic for multiple reasons.
I think too one aspect that those studies don't encompass is the fact that when society is so venoment against trans people there are going to be some people that give up on what they really feel like just so that they don't go against the grain of society so roughly. 😟 So that's basically being bullied into conformity.
Basically this is what Hilary Cass suggests strongly in her reviews: "A treatment with puberty blockers, or even social transition is possibly leading children onto an irreversible treatment path in the future, and thus I advice severe caution in providing treatment, whether medically or psychology. There is a strong suggestion that gender exploratory therapy would prevent these treatment paths from being taken, from the idea that some children might not benefit of a medical pathway." The term "gender exploratory therapy" is, by scientists considered to be a different way to name conversion therapy. And given how Hilary Cass LITERALLY advised a politician advocating for a piece of legislation leading to a flat-out ban on conversion therapy to not bring it to vote because "it would harm the professionals abilities to accurately assess and treat transchildren and trans young people", it's literally her advocating for conversion therapy. And unfortunately, her reports are hailed as "The things you are not allowed to say anymore!" and "Well, she was unbiased for not being in this field so she is not ideologically driven!".... The Dutch government unfortunately is also abusing her report now.
Kids don't know anything about "gender identity". They are not capable of understanding it, their brains are not developed enough to grasp the concept. Leave kids alone. Puberty blockers followed by cross-sex hormones is horrific abuse. Just leave kids alone.
Hearing you talk about dysphoria when it comes to legal names just affirmed my troubles so much. I often think that "i am not trans enough" and that i am overreacting when it comes to small things like my legal name or misgendering. We love you Jamie!
The regret argument is so stupid for me. On any choice really, but especially gender affirming care. I am cis, so can't speak personally on that specific. Whst if they regret it? Worst case scenario they are an adult and will address it, like with every other decision in life.
20:51 as a trans man i used to think that this teacher's type of behavior was normal because i hadn't met very many people who acted decent towards me, this is why support is so important. what a good mom
Love that this video includes proof and mentions of data to back up everything being said. Shows that there's so much proof against transphobic nonsense when they're gettin all their info off of Barbara's Facebook page. Also, not been here before and Jamie's hair is so pleasing to look at. 11/10 style right there!!
![[FREE] GobacK beats - "WINTER BOY" | Free Type Beat 2024](http://i.ytimg.com/vi/otqbBg60Ix0/mqdefault.jpg)
I will say, as a bit of unfortunate advice, I have gotten multiple transphobes to call me by my preferred name by just introducing it as "most people call me" instead of "I prefer to be called"
For me it's "my names Kaitlynn but my friends call me Katy" and let them decide which to call me. Dead name is off limits, nobody but my wife is allowed to know that 😛
i always fear that some people just tolerate to call you by your name but they don't consider you your gender. You know just doing a favor while in reality not respecting me at all
@@sugar706felt
That's actually a game changer. To be fair many cis people go by a nickname that is "the opposite gender" and everyone goes with it as a joke until it catches on. I don't see how it's hard to do it not-as-a-joke
@@sugar706 Well, personally I'm also reluctant to call you Sugar, Sugar 🤣 You know what I mean? I also grew up in the 80's so yeah, that's a rough one for me 🤣 And I'm so tempted to apologise for calling you Sugar 🤣
But I think you're right. I've had friends, who are no longer friends because they don't learn anything about anything ever and expect people to just accept their making it other people's problem that they don't learn and don't want to learn anything, and they told me they have a niece who is trans, and I forgot her name. I never met her and I am terrible with names. But I do remember them calling her by her name and saying she is a niece, and then for some reason they refer to her as: "She, eh.. he...". Like wth?
So I asked when she transitioned. It's been over 4 years, and they are still "confused" about her pronouns? I don't buy it. And then their excuse:" Well he isn't allowed to get HRT or surgery because he is in a mental institution with an unrelated mental condition and he can't consent."
Me: That must be rough for her. Is she okay with that? And she's still a trans woman if she doesn't take hormones for whatever reason and has no surgery and a she. Do you understand that?
They: Yeah, sure. He has no choice.
Me: Not what I asked and you clearly understand nothing. She. And I hope she is okay with not being able to get hormones of surgery she might want, and that other people will still treat her as the person she is, and thus a woman.
They: **blank stare**
pfff... so yeah, I think your fear is very justified. And it wasn't just these people either. I was told by someone to go and see a very problematic "documentary" about wokeness and it showcased a family whose youngest child is trans. I'm not certain if the kid is non binary or a trans boy, it was quite a while ago, I think they're non binary, but they definitely weren't a girl. And the family kept referring to them as she/her, after years of transitioning. The parents did accept the chosen name, sometimes.
And I understand that it's especially difficult to learn saying different pronouns to a person you've known for over a decade and called by different pronouns, so I am not surprised if the first week or month the wrong pronouns accidentally slip over your lips and you instantly apologise and correct yourself. But years? They speak to their kid every day. That's plenty of time to practice. I'm not buying it that it's accidental or because they've called their child she/her for over a decade. I am very certain that they do it because they don't believe her, essentially gaslighting her daily by misgendering and deadnaming.
I obviously support the kid's choice to not make a thing of it until she's older and not dependent on their parents anymore, but dang, it hurts _me_ to my core when they treat their kid like that. I can't imagine what it feels like to them.
And the worst thing is that those parents then whine how hard it is on then to use a different name and pronouns because the name they gave their child is so pretty and they grew up as a little girl and that's how they still see them. Implying that they're the ones who are in a difficult situation and that they still want a little girl, rather than the kid they have and respecting them as the person they are and encouraging their development and talking about their experiences in school and figuring out how to help their kid deal with that.
They said that with her at the table while misgendering their child. So yeah, I have no idea how that kid felt about it. They just said they don't want to confront their parents every time because they still have to live there, but it's very abusive to treat a child like that.
I say child this whole time, but they were probably a teen, so not that young of a child. Old enough to know wtf they're saying and feeling.
Going to share a story that I posted elsewhere on FB: I was parked with my library's bookmobile at one of our regular stops. An older couple in their 70s-ish stopped to learn about the bookmobile. The husband in particular was very impressed and wanted to check it all out, but also had that kind of gruff grandpa demeanor.
We were chatting, and at one point the husband said, "Now let me ask you a question. What does that pin above your nametag mean?"
Uh oh.
I said, "Oh, it says 'she/her' so that people know what to call me. You can't always tell gender just from looking at someone, and it's also a signal for people that I'm someone safe."
He considered this for a minute, and said emphatically, "That's right! You don't always know just by looking at someone!"
He went on to say, "Our youngest grandson just told us that he's gay. We don't care!" His wife nodded her vigorous agreement.
Then as he was leaving he added, "Well, that's really good. Good to let people know they're welcome no matter what."
Always sparks hope when you find the elders with compassion 🤍
THATS SO SWEET
❤
Ok I love them 😭💜💜💜
Oh this is so cool! I wish my grandparents were like that
As a transmasc teen seeing the guy at 10:11 honestly made me cry, realizing that I could actually live past my 20's was honestly just mine blowing. I had always just assumed I'd end up being on the news because I would've gotten shot on the street. It's nice knowing that I can actually have a future, that I have one ahead of me.
If you don't feel safe where you live, please make plans to move somewhere safer. It's not easy .. but it's a lot easier to move when your belongings fit in a suitcase than when you need a shipping container to move house.
There is no honest reason why trans folk shouldn't have the same life expectancy as cis folk. The interplay of hormones and assigned sex affecting middle-aged health conditions should put you somewhere between the life expectancy of a cis man and that of a cis woman. Anything less than that is not good enough, and you deserve better!
I identify with that feeling very strongly, as I'm a non-binary person who thought I would die by 20. I finaly started transitioning at 24 and now I'm 29, happily married and further in my transition. Please keep in mind we are out there, we love you and you have a future on this earth. 💚
You can do it man, I'm wishing you all the best! 😊
this made me cry man, same with that tiktok. I have a future :’)
@@tealkerberus748 lol, if I could I would. I'm a minor, I can't exactly move right st the moment but I do plan to in the future. I had just seen so many hate crimes against trans people, many ending in the poor souls deaths.
My bff of 25 years changed her name as a cis woman. Suddenly, totally different first name that she's asked people to use. Is it difficult to disconnect from the name I've called her for 25 years? Sure. Just like sometimes you still refer to a married friend by their maiden name a couple times when it's new. But the respectful thing to do is to put in the effort to change the behavior because that's what they've asked to be called.
Unpopular opinion: SO WHAT IF IT IS A PHASE??? The kid is socially transitioning, not undergoing life-changing surgery. She'll get puberty blockers at most. The cons of receiving puberty blockers (which are reversible in most cases) do not outweigh the cons of undergoing puberty for the wrong gender. Gender is just a social construct. Why does it have to be so sacrosanct? Why can't we let kids explore and experiment with their gender and its expression if that's what makes them happy? Who would that hurt outside of some people's outdated sensibilities?
the issue with transphobes and talking about kids socially transitioning is....they only hear the word "transitioning". they immediately associate that word with surgeries and hormone injections.
Yes, yes, yes! Why can't Peter (amab) wear dresses and go by Lisa, or Lisa (afab) have short hair and go by Peter - at any age or for any duration of time - if they so please??
Parents place way too much rigidity on the gender of their children, it's ridiculous. My parents were no better in this matter. They would always buy me "girl toys" and make me wear frilly little dresses even though I clearly expressed that I didn't like any of it. Some of it had to do with the fact that I was trans, but a lot of it was that I simply had no interest in those things. I liked everything that was stereotypically meant for boys, wanted to have my hair cut like my brothers, etc. I can also remember from the ages of 5-12 I went by Trevor (and he/him pronouns) in secret. I really feel like if kids were allowed to explore themselves, they would have more of a solid foundation as to who they are as a person in the future. It was like a janky rollercoaster ride trying to navigate who I was because of all the restrictions I had placed on me because I was assigned female at birth.
"Why should have to bow down to you" says the crowd that demands we bow down to their religious views.
Lmao so accurate
No this is so real! So i use MSN (microsoft news) to get articles and the comments are filled with baby boomers saying how trans people are mental ill for believing they are a different gender than the one they were born as but these are the same people who believe in some sort of sky daddy creating us. I don't bash on the religion but the shoe fits both ways. These people can get 100+ likes on their comment for saying that trans people are mental ill and that we "shouldn't normalize mental illness" but if I was to go on a religious article and say "people who believe that there is some being in the sky are mentally ill" I'd get told to kms. (some of them fr say that lmao)
*should we have
That was reminding me of the whole "you have to respect me (treat me like an authority) in order for me to respect you (treat you like a person)"
Exactly! The fact is that they know they expect compliance from anyone, even those that want nothing to do with their religion, so whenever someone asks basic respect outside of their beliefs they see it as oppression.
When the oppressors are told to stop oppressing, they always see it as an oppression from the other side
hi lgbt people, i'm gonna be 8 weeks on t in only a couple days and i'm happier than ever :)
Wooo!
Nice dude
That's great. You have my full, very limited, RUclips comment section type support
Great for you!
Congrats!!! That's great 👍 😊
1:44 fun fact! The anchient greeks believed that when apollo got drunk, he would make people with the wrong genetalia, so bot obly did the ancient greeks accept trans people, but they explained us as "god got supped f&cking wasted and made a mistake lol ur good"
I actually want to cry now because when i was still identifying as a christain i was convinced i was wrong and no matter how much i begged i wasnt fixed. Now as a non religion comforming pagen (i believe in all gods but follow no religion) i still sometimes find myself in a funk, and praying to whatever deity might hear me to help. Help me get what i need to do the fixing myself, to be safe in a place where i sometimes have to wake up and wonder if i wont be back home after the day
But i get to remember that for every person who wants me dead there are just as if not more who fight everyday for my rights, even if i cant fight for myself at times.
haha I'm not religious, but I absolutely love this explanation. If god was real, I feel like this, combined with the fact of how strong the alcohol was back then (like seriously. You think alcohol these days gets you wasted? Oh boy, back then it woulda been borderline deadly for some people), I'm sure shit got wild in heaven from time to time while making everyone/everything xD
@@FlowersAndRocks The alcohol back then actually wasn't stronger than now, their wine was most likely stronger than the wine we have now (but wine isn't really high in alcohol percentage so even if it was twice as strong, it wouldn't have been a huge difference). Also they would dilute their wine with water.
I love this so much! 🥰 Do you have a source? I'd like to read more.
@@indecisivesimp-leton6236 Dunno if this will help but I was taught at sunday school that God created humans to have free will and self expression in the same way that he created grapes but not wine and wheat but not bread yk
My art teacher in high school was trans. She was MEAN!! We were terrified of her. We also had absolutely no idea that she was trans.
I ran into her years later at Mardi Gras. We ended up becoming good friends. She said her biggest fear was being outed, as back then ( 1980's), it would've cost her her job, as she loved teaching.
She passed away a few years back, and I really miss her.
Had us in the first half, not gonna lie
That's not an excuse to be a shiity person/teacher
@@Quacks4toy theyre not saying its an excuse to be a shitty teacher. I think the point they're trying to make is that someone can be unlikeable AND trans, but that doesn't mean theyre unlikeable BECAUSE they're trans. Which is something a lot of people muddle up. Though given this case, apparently this woman was actually nice and I hope she lived a fulfilling life. But yeah, no one here was excusing her for being a mean teacher. I guess sometimes teachers can be mean (especially in 1980s I think) and still be a good person.
@@tible_toble_table_top ah right, sorry for the confusion
@@Quacks4toy no its okay! Things get mixed up a lot its hard to talk through text :)
Multiple teachers in the UK have been banned from teaching for life for that kind of behaviour. The teaching standards do not take harassment and embarrassment of trans kids lightly
When I was in University for teaching in Canada, one professor told us "once you get tenor, you would have to intentionally kill a kid to lose your job. And even then you'd probably just get transferred."
@@yugenknows740 that’s tenure. UK teachers are held to a professional code of conduct that that is definitely breaking. Tenured professors are utter shit that can’t teach
@@luxwilliams1351 some. Not all.
yeah that level of malicious ignorance from that teacher makes me think that it was a performance for tiktok. it did get my blood pressure up but if it was real he wont have that position for much longer
Why do you think that behaviour isn't an accurate depiction? I imagine there would still be such schools/teachers that wouldn't have had a similar situation occur with a student for their attitude to be displayed (or questioned if it was).
Though, I don't know how it works, is it that a school adopts an acceptance policy and would then interview current teachers about their stance or something and then a teacher with such an attitude either agrees to a code of conduct or is asked to leave, and, could such a person pretend to be professional (maybe thinking they'll never encounter a trans student or something, I don't know) and stay on but then when they do, out comes the bigotry, for example?
I may just be in the dark about how things work now, I come from a time when it was acceptable and common for teachers to be quite verbally and physically abusive towards students (and I don't just mean corporal punishment) and that was just how it was. I could see these types of teachers slipping through the cracks even if a school is actually trying to be inclusive, let alone if it's got something against it.
I don't think I'm putting it very well, but what I mean is I'm not surprised that appalling situation exactly as depicted could still be possible, but I could just be woefully not up to date.
That mother of the trans girl needs to call the principal, and if that doesn't work, call the school board or whatever. Intolerance like that needs to be addressed, and that teacher deserves to lose his job if he can't understand that the world around him is constantly changing.
Edit: Apparently she did exactly that, good for her, I seriously hope he gets fired.
Seriously, whenever someone brings up this bullshit- I want to treat them as slow and explain that 'Just because YOU don't get it doesn't mean you get to harass and abuse other people.'
Kudos to her! I'm willing to go out on a limb here and say that this so-called teacher is just as horrible to the gay kids, the not-white kids, the immigrant kids, any kids that don't follow the same religion as he does, any kids of the same religion who aren't "doing it right", and all of the girls (based on how he treated the mom). Which is to say, probably most of the kids there, if that school has even a whisker of diversity in it. Her taking action is likely going to help darn near every kid that comes into contact with that guy.
It's so outrageous. His bigotry, so wild. It's hard to believe it's real.
I mean... it said it... Catholic school... why was anything else expected?!
I think the Mum is arguing too much, there's no convincing such creatures. I get the urge, I really get it, just does nothing, gives it more chance to spew hate.
@@ShanRenxin as the teacher said it's a catholic school, I am VERY confident that he does not accept other religions. I do agree with you on this. God, I hope he lost his job. Those ppl should not be around children
That boss that has 5 trans employees. Its my headcannon that he hired somebody and they informed the boss they are trans and the boss was chill, so they told their trans friends and they all applied for any vacancies and were hired because the boss is awesome.
22:15 Her saying that being trans comes from depression and anxiety is close but backwards, being depressed and anxious comes from being trans without having a proper support system. Really hope she learns that someday
she's so close lol "transitioning usually comes from mental problems like depression and anxiety" and what do you think the depression and anxiety is coming from🤔
It's cause how difficult society makes it
From not being transitioned yet.
The direct link to symptoms comes from gender dysphoria, which is treated with transitioning. To understand the actual physiology and psychology of it is beyond transphobes though
@@austinobst8989Straight phobes. Leave those straight people alone. You wanting a dingdong has nothing to do with them.
High school educator here, and my heart bleeds and I’m HORRIFIED by that british teacher. Hope he was fired! Our trans students are loved, respected, supported and protected by my colleagues and I, and we work tirelessly to make sure they know and feel that daily ❤️
the day my best friend came out to our school librarian (as we worked shifts there together- i kinda encouraged this bc i was worried i'd accidentally out him but also said to do it when he wanted) and our psych teacher, both automatically called him by his preferred name immediately
@paintingdreams290 Aww, bless them! ❤ Love hearing that! Thankfully, there are a lot of good ones around!
your comment genuinely makes me so happy, i'm glad there are teachers out there making sure trans kids feel safe at school. i live in a country that's behind in queer acceptance so it can be depressing at times. they've passed a law against the discussion of queer identities ("lgbtq+ propaganda" as they like to call it) in schools for example, but i hope things will look up soon enough. keep up the amazing work, you make a huge difference in those kid's lives, i'm sure of it.❤️
@@strangeclay9 Thank you for your lovely and kind words! ❤️ I’m so sorry your country isn’t as progressive in terms of queer acceptance, and I totally understand how that could bring you down. Ouuuff, the «queer agenda» or «lgbtq+ propaganda» are awful and demeaning buzzwords made by ignorant people. 🤮 They’re just kids! They all deserve to feel valued, loved and that they’re accepted as they are. Hoping things will look up for you and not to mention the queer communities 🤞
Did anyone else catch the transphobic teacher accidentally gender his student correctly? @18:29"The girl is what? 14? 15?"
So he acknowledges that she is a girl, but is just vehemently against respecting her, bc he's horrible.
Yeah, I did too, and honestly it just makes it worse
He also said "Oh she's the boy isn't she?" Literally using the correct pronouns twice. He's being ignorant on purpose
I caught that, he's being an asshole on purpose.
God I have no patience for these people, if I was in the place of that mom I'd be in jail for throwing a chair at that guy's face.
Yup! He had to add a good dollop of sexism in there too. You know, because us lady-folk can't be trusted to know our own minds.
It’s a skit, it’s not real. Not saying this stuff doesn’t happen but this particular video is not a real scenario.
I was watching this video while drinking my tea before getting ready for bed for a bit of entertainment and the part about top surgery and the regret rate hit home.
I came back a week ago from visiting family (including my dad) that were very misinformed about transitioning. Their views werent enough to make me doubt myself. However my dad begged me to wait before getting top surgery (i am on a waiting list and im nearly 19). He genuinely begged me not to do it, to wait to be sure i wouldnt regret it. There were other horrible comments he made in regards to me being a trans man. That all put some doubts in me and ive been struggling somewhat with them for the past two weeks.
You talking about top surgery brought me to tears, you gave me back the same confidence I have in who I am and my decisions before all the things my dad said. Im so grateful. I feel like you healed that part of me that my dad hurt and i thank you for it :))
I hope you have a wonderful day, thank you very much for this, i really needed it
Don't ever let people tell you what to do with your body. Your family sounds like they are struggling to understand who you are.
But thats their problem! Don't make it yours. Life is too short, just be happy!
Sending love and confidence to you!
@@mychemicalrelapse yep. People like that will always be "just wait a few more years". I've wanted top surgery since I was 10, and I didn't even know what top surgery was, just that I wanted my chest to go goodbye. I've been told by so many people "just wait a couple years and you'll be glad you didn't do it cause you'll have changed your mind"...I'm in my late 20s, "a couple years" has gone by multiple times and the only thing that's changed is I want it more.
The boss that uses everyone’s preferred name made me stir up inside , that was soooo kind and loving .
He's what every boss ought to be.
I've had a couple of bosses like that.
I've never been a boss myself, but having been a parent and a schoolteacher, and having paid attention to how much (and how little) effort bosses have put into looking after workplaces I've been in, I know how much work it can be to be an actually good boss.
Right? And it takes literally seconds & costs nothing to show that little act of kindness...a small thing for boss, huge for the employees.
Same. I've never seen it before.
@@hawkeyescoffee6399 That one act takes only a little effort, but each similar act takes more, and beofre long the boss runs out of spoons (yes, being the boss costs spoons, too).
@@twiggledowntown3564 I hadn’t either
shes asking you to call her ELLIE. Shes not asking you to call her Your Majesty the Queen
REAL, he made a big deal out of it. I hope he got fired. (':
The point is that calling him that name would mean participating in his beliefs about gender identity.
The teacher doesn't share those beliefs, clearly. Neither he nor anyone else has ANY obligation to participate in your religious beliefs or your ideological ones; and that's the problem with the way you whine about people "misgendering" you and that apparently being so bad... I don't believe in "gender identity". I don't believe you have this internal gender identity that can be at odds with your physical sex.
Sure, there are an extremely small number of people with genuine sex dysphoria, and I do feel for them. Like anyone else they deserve compassion and treatment. The issue is that coping with their sex dysphoria by identifying as "trans" and wanting to undergo body modifications to "transition"; is a choice - a belief about having a gender identity; and a belief about how to deal with sex dysphoria. Dysphoria can and should be treated by therapy and if someone could learn to be comfortable in their own body that is a million times preferable to chopping their body up instead.
No one needs to call you an opposite gendered name if they don't want to. You can act like it's just about respect or being nice all you want; but that's not the truth and that is manipulation. It's actually just about you having a belief system that other people do not; and that no person should be pressured to participate in your beliefs with you.
@@Rad_AkaliThere's nothing ideological about learning and using a kid's name. We've had Patricias that wanted to be called Lilly because there were 7 Patricia's and the teacher had no problem learning and respecting that. How is that any different? How is it that teacher's personal beliefs are more important than kid's comfort?
@@Rad_Akali That's like you telling me your name and me going... nah, you look like an Adolf. I'm going to call you Adolf and you can't tell me otherwise because that's manipulation.
@@Rad_Akali Conversation therapy doesn't work. Never has, never will. There's no "believing in gender identity" there's believing the FACT that gender exists and there's ignoring that FACT to be an asshole. Purposely misgendering someone can absolutely be a hate crime against a minority and I'm glad people like you are becoming less and less acceptable in our society.
"I identify as non-confrontational" I felt that one in my core. I often bite my tongue when I notice people being against transgenders and not mention that I'm non-binary. I just don't want to start an uncomfortable situation. I know it's maybe not the best thing to do but I just can't stand up like that yet. I do try to steer the conversation a bit and try to push back a bit when it gets really bad or when I feel maybe I can have a bit of an informative conversation but it's hard.
I feel you. I try to avoid confrontations in everything I do and it has made me not correct anyone who misgendered me or otherwise. Hopefully you don't need to bite your tongue too often.
I feel the same way. I'm not surrounded by English in daily life, the language I have doesn't have neutral pronouns so I'm not used to correcting people in person because usually there's just no option. I try my best to push back on harmful beliefs while also trying to remain safe and not paint a target on my own back. Being careful isn't bad.
I’m not socially anxious whatsoever, but when it comes to some gender stuff, I only feel safe enough to like under my breath say “actually it’s they….” While whispering
Don’t feel scared to scream at people to not call me “lady” though, I HATE gendered language SO MUCH AAAAA
Choose your battles.
Conserve your spoons.
Have a conversation if a person seems like someone who might be capable of thinking things over.
Most of the genderqueer kids at my high school are like that, myself included. People who say that all trans people get super loudly upset when you misgender them are WILD.
2:20 in my sophomore year of high school, I wasn’t able to change my name but the school gave us these bar code stickers so we could pay for snacks and stuff without bringing a card, and they all had our legal names on them. One of the office attendants, before handing me my barcode sticker scribbled out my deadname and wrote my preferred name above it. That seriously had me smiling all month!
26:44 Jamie: "Do you use the bathroom on a plane? Great. Gender neutral." "Me: "Do you use the bathroom in your house? Great! GENDER NEUTRAL!"
lol, this always gets me too! Like nobody is putting little pictures of stick people on their bathrooms at home. 😂
I always wonder what people are thinking in their home?like for example do you make your spouse use a separate bathroom in a heterocouple? What if theres only one bathroom?
As for the public: Gender neutral and sinks INSIDE the cubicles please! I would like to wash my hands before I have to unlock a stall door!
@@saundraschaefer My grandma had them lol
@@ekl1457come to Finland. Many, though not all, have them, because we prefer to use a small shower to wash after number two, so there's a little sink to turn the tap on first. They rarely have soap though, but still
well in public, men go with men....woman go with woman.......If you don't like it, don't go out side to public places.....the world does not revolve around you people
Dude, that satire with the trans couple is absolutely brilliant.
It might be one of my favourite videos ever.
Yes that one was so hilarious!
Iconic even
I know! I want to know who they are!!!
same, its just perfection couple goals
14:54 This also logically means that all women are cisgender, and trans women's transitions are actually detransitions.
damn….. da solution to prevent Regret? Abolish da womb
What about trans men 🤔 @Lorenmlpsum
Nah the universe is agender but when you're born society makes you transition to be "cis"
The thing that annoys me most about the 1% regret rate is that it doesn't account for the reason for the regret. For example, the surgery may and could have been done wrong, aka in top surgery, the patient may not have felt like enough tissue was taken off or the surgery caused other problems for example, im not trans, gender nonconforming, but I've had surgery to remove my 1st rib and i found the recovery was so bad that i , if i went back in time, would have probably taken more thought of the consequences of what the surgery could do to my body. Im self conscious of the scars im left with and how the surgery has changed the look of my chest but not the reason behind them. Still im not upset i had the surgery but in many ways i regret having the surgery. The 1% doesn't take into account of the reason behind the regret. It may have nothing to do with being trans but how the after surgery recovery effected them.
yeah, i read that all the verified trans realted surgery regrets added up was only about 0.03%
Exactly. Some people regret the surgeon they chose, and some of them regret not having demanded follow-up surgical corrections when the body parts didn't heal in a way they'd hoped. Most trans people with bad surgery results don't regret having gotten the surgery. They just regret who did it or how it was done.
Worth mentioning that the lil "name change on paystubs" act of kindness is an even bigger deal for immigrants. Sex marker change can be difficult for immigrants; usually the process involves amending birth documents and if your documents aren't from your country of residence/citizenship then you need a method to legally formalize the change regardless, either by contacting your birth country and getting the birth certificate amended through them, or overstepping their jurisdiction over your birth documents through your current country. This can take years.
So yeah, the sticky note helps.
That is such a good point. Always worth voicing the intersectional experiences to highlight where systems fail us all. x
Thank you, I didn't know, intersectional activism is so important !
Love seeing the support for intersectionality!
Yep, and even moreso if the country that the person is from doesn't recognise trans folk (or even actively hates them and criminalises them)
16:36 My dad is a teacher and hearing this entire tiktok made me so mad. My dad doesn’t even come close to understanding most lgbtq+ stuff, but if he can come home and ask me how to properly refer to a student of his that just came out as non-binary (he didn’t even know what the term non-binary was btw, this was entirely new to him. he was just like “So I have a student who is trans- no not that. They’re uh… a they?” I just said “A non-binary person” and he was just like “Yes, thank you. A non-binary kid” it was adorable), this teacher who has been explicitly told exactly what to call the trans student, can suck it up and call her the right name and pronouns.
Your dad sounds like the kind of person that I would love as a non-binary teen. Please tell him that his effort is seen and apreciated.
You dad sounds like the sweetest teacher ever. Please let him know from this random stranger on the internet that *HE* gives hope to so many people and he has no idea.
My Golden Rule when it comes to trans-affirming surgery: "You don't need this to be valid (as a trans person), but if this is what you want then I'll support you every step of the way
hell yeah
you my friend are the friend everyone needs!!!!
That's the only way to be.
Right, like, you don’t want breasts? Cool, you’re still trans. You want your breasts still? You’re trans if you say you are. You don’t wanna change your name? That’s cool too. If someone identifies as something, nonbinary, trans, other under that spectrum, as long as they say it they’re valid. Your identity changes over time? Still valid. I love this.
me to my transfem fiancee.. she goes back and forth between i dont want it cause it may mess up and i do want it cause no one will accept me as a woman without it... and i have to tell her every time that I WILL ALWAYs SEE HER AS A WOMAN, and that random strangers do not matter. if she wants surgery for herself, she should get it but if she wants it for other peoples acceptance, she doesnt need that.
1:38 as he said the thing about 'the going out flannel' i just looked at my shelf where my green 'going out flannel' hangs and i felt very called out as well.
18:41 I hate that people like this teacher still exist, but I’m glad that Ellie is this lady’s kid and not the teacher’s. Shout out to all the amazing supportive trans parents out there
My given name is Gracie, when I was little I hated when people would call me grace and my mum told me when I’m older people will call me grace more than gracie and that never made sense to me because that wasn’t my name. Now, she’s the type of person who would give any excuse to not call me by a name I ask her to instead of Gracie, so we settled on Gray because that is Gracie without the cie, simple enough right? But no she can’t do that?
I used to call my friend John, "Jonathan", thinking John was just short for Jonathan, until one day he pulled out a book (it was awhile back) and showed me they were two different names with two different histories going back thousands of years.
The German name "Willy" isn't short for "William", either, although many Williams are called Willy.
AFAIK, there is no traditional name "Dave", but if someone names their kid "Dave", why insist on calling him "David"?
Hi there, this sounds like a tough situation. I have been through something similar with my dad, and it turns out he needed a lot of time. We're not completely there yet, I think my birthname is still in his phone, but he does call me by my actual name now. My point is to be patient with your mum, and with time, it'll get better.
There are things you can do to make that wait shorter, for example: find someone in your life who calls you Gray, and frequently interacts with your mum. This person will call you Gray to your mum. I had someone like this in my dad's life who helped him get used to my new name. And another tip: once I talked to my dad about why I changed my name and how much happier I feel now that I've transitioned, he actually started trying. He made mistakes, but practise makes perfect eventually :)
She doesn’t even want to call you the name she literally gave you?
I went through something similar in early childhood. My given name is Isabell, German spelling, and instead of going for the French Isabelle or English? Isabel, most people would call me Isabella, the Spanish version. It infuriated me so much I still can't tolerate the name...
Omg I’m going through the same thing. My REAL name is Margaret but i use to have the nickname Emma. I came to love my real name but my parents still call me by my nickname. When they mention not wanting to be called Emma all I say is “you shouldn’t have named me that then.” It’s really ridiculous especially since I have a trans brother. It’s not hard, they just don’t want to change. They want you to be miserable to have power over you. You’re doing your best, and i hope you continue standing up for yourself!
I just wanna say, I came across one of your videos that are unrelated to trans stuff and I was just like "Oh, this guys pretty cute. Ill scroll through the rest of the videos". AND LET ME TELL YOU. THE GASP I GASPED, THE SHOCK THAT WAS SHOOK WHEN I REALIZED YOU WERE TRANS?? It was insane. I'm a trans woman myself, but ive had a few trans masc friends and it feels so cool to me that the person im looking at on the screen now, represents the progress that they could have. You are a genuine inspiration. p.s. I love the content
He's a very handsome man and yeah it just goes to show that with patience you'll be looking at a face in the mirror that you love someday.
@@CometAuraI have good imagination, so I can see in the mirror whatever I want. As you know, sometimes that’s the best you can get xD
"We cannot keep denying access to being able to live as yourself."
This is the most important sentence ever spoken in history!!!
I've had coworkers try to guess my deadname by calling me by different names starting with 'M'. Literally everytime I just go 'My name is Marlett, We've been over this.'
My deadname does not start with 'M', so right off the bat, they're failing 😂
I kept the same initials as my deadname in tribute to my family, & literally no one can guess it even so! The names are just so dead common no one thinks of them. Why do people even try to guess deadnames? They already KNOW your REAL name...
Like this: Let me guess your real name. It's Marlett Pines, right? See how easy that is?
this is exactly why i've kept my deadname entirely different to my name! literally on separate ends of the alphabet. no ones got hope of guessing it or anything near it. my friend was actually shocked when he found out what it was because he had expected it to be somewhat closer (he found my mums facebook and she has my deadname on there) :D
Sometimes I go by A. It’s the first letter of my name, but to people who know me by my deadname it just sounds like a massive mispronounciation of that lol
People keep trying to guess mine when I’ve never even had a name change.
Off topic, but Marlett is such a nice name. I never hear that one! I was boring when I transitioned and went with "Matt" 💀
...trans dad literally made me cry. our elder queers are so valuable, and so caring.
@@Leo-yooobviously just an elder, which is a normal term for an older person, who is queer.
But the way you said it made me think of it like it's an Elder Scrolls title now lol
"The Elder Queer", like it's a dragon hahaha
Hi there! 47 year old trans masc here, I was AFAB, learned that top surgery and hormone therapy was available to me when I was in my late 30's. Never regretted one single thing about any part of my transition! I'm also disabled and have an autoimmune disorder that unfortunately makes it hard for my body to heal correctly from surgery, so I've never had the chance to get lower surgery, but hopefully some small changes might still be in the works if the US falls in my favor this election season 🤞
I'm sure taking testosterone while already suffering from a serious disease is a smart move.
I'll be voting for the party of gender-affirming care. I lost my AFAB son to self-deletion at age 25 before he was able to get any of the care he hoped for & needed, like T & top surgery. He would be 33 this autumn. I know I'm just a random stranger on the internet, but please believe I'm rooting for you & all the other trans people who are out there trying to live their best lives despite the negative backlash. I find it strangely comforting that guys like you & Jamie have been able to be the men you knew you were supposed to be.
@@starrywizdom I am so sorry for your loss. Also sorry that the situation in the US seems to be going backwards as knowledge has improved about the whole lgbt+ world.
@@starrywizdom I'm so sorry to hear about your son 🫂 Thank you for your support, it means a lot to all of us, your son included ❤🩹
@@starrywizdom I am so sorry you lost your daughter that way. Please realize though that what she needed was therapy, not extreme body modifications that attempt to emulate the features of the opposite sex. She did not kill herself because she couldn't cut her breasts off; she killed herself because she had a serious mental illness and hated her own body so much she didn't want to live in it. And please do not fucking vote for "gender-affirming care". It is nauseating to call something so terrible "care" in the first place.
16:25 I got my first period the summer between 3rd and 4th grade. Fourth grade was when they split up the boys and girls and taught the girls about periods. I remember everyone freaking out, and I was just sitting there pissed off that I was the only one who has already experienced it.
Fyi, I'm transmasc/nonbinary now, came out last year.
Happy for you ❤❤
Periods happen early in my family, too! The "health ed" classes I had weren't until I was in 6th grade and I'd already been dealing with mine for a couple years at that point! SMH
Congrats on coming out, I hope it's going well for you! ♥
Jamie thank you for including the older trans community,we are a little bit invisible,there seems to be a notion that Trans people don't age,or even don't exist (I have heard that a few times) I'm 56 and a gay trans man and I don't know any other trans men or women my age or older,but I sense the older trans community is larger than people realise.I transitioned in a time before the internet even existed no social media,mobile phones etc, terminology was different,no gender clinics and had my surgery in my teens in a different country,no pronouns either at that time. But also a lot of people transition later in life as well but it isn't talked about. I think older trans people just get forgotten about,it just happens. (matt) P.s Was glad to see that in your brilliant book the older trans voice and experience was given a place. In any discissions about the trans community in the media etc older trans people just don't get a mention,it's not intentional,older trans people just aren't thought about or seen as part of the conversation,if that makes sense.
Hey are you familiar with "Stealth: A Transmasculine Podcast"? They focus on transmasculine people who transitioned around or before the year 2000. Could be a great place to see and connect with the older portion of the community :)
You should look up the Intentional Man Project. If I recall, they have an online program for older transmen.
Thank you for existing 🙏 Seeing older trans folks gives hope!!
@fraylien thank you,you help make us older trans men and women feel less invisible and accepted
I've learned so much from your videos. I'm the lucky mom, my child is 21 NB and it's very helpful to know how to best support them and understand things. I don't know everything, still learning. But I'm very glad that I found your channel. Love from North Carolina ❤
Wholesome moms for the win! ❤
Best mom this year🫶
Simply being WILLING to learn instead of just turning a blind eye and ignoring, trying to fight it, or saying it's just a phase is already so much of what we all want. Thank you for putting in the effort!
I found this channel in 2019-2020, in my quest to be a good ally/advocate for my enby firstborn. (Dr. Jamie is such a good teacher!) I have since learned that I also have a trans daughter. Lots of people change their style or what they prefer to be called over the years, it's really not a big deal to adjust, is it.
As a nonbinary adult, who doesn't have the support of my family, I'm genuinely so soft seeing parents being supportive and doing their most for their LGBT+ kids
Dude went from 34DD to being a literal Viking warrior, pretty cool.
Interesting you should say that, because I used to know someone who used to be a helicopter evac medic in Afghanistan and transitioned after being discharged, and now identifies not only as a woman but as a Valkyrie in an Asatru temple (Pagan worshippers of the Norse gods).
Before I met her, it never occurred to me how similar evac medics and Valkyries are: descending on the battlefield from the sky to scoop up the dying warriors and carry them away to a place of comfort and healing.
@@arcadiaberger9204 it's pretty cool that her work as an evac medic touched her so much it became a part of her identity
@@arcadiaberger9204 she sounds so cool oh my god!
@@arcadiaberger9204Identifies as a Valkyrie? So people can identify as angels if they want to? What does that mean?
@@arcadiaberger9204 That's badass.
~18:30 I like the Freudian slip of calling her "the girl" even while trying to insist she's a boy, shows that the teacher doesn't actually have a hard time seeing her as a girl.
EXACTLY
I love that Jammi cites all his sources. It means I can look up those articles and statistics to more effectively educate and argue with bigoted people
Hehe his name is spelled Jamie. And yeah he's really good at citing sources. He wants us to be able to both verify what he's saying and do further reading if we want to.
Unlike the PragerU dumpster fire that just says something outrageous with nothing to back it up.
@@sayorikasi Jamie's "sources" are literally nonsense
@@HarryHarrison-j1h i can bet any transphobic sources that you have are full of lies, twisted half-truths, opinions and are most likely sourced from rigged sites that are full of transphobes. Jamie has a masters degree and a PHD in psychology I'm pretty sure he knows what he's on about.
@@HarryHarrison-j1hno u lol
@@awkwardukulele6077 lol upvoting your own comment?
Here in the US the same people who say that passing gun control laws won’t stop criminals are the same people who think a bathroom sign is going to stop sexual predators.
The cognitive dissonance is real & it is frightening.
@@starrywizdom exactly. It’s ridiculous.
yes its infuriating. the amount of times i've had to tell people that a bathroom sign on a door is not gonna stop predatory people from entering a bathroom of the opposite sex (not to mention all the r@pe that occurs between people of the same sex) to hurt them is ridiculous. A sign does nothing. No ones gonna go through the effort and the intense backlash and hate from bigots to pretend to be trans just to go into a bathroom and hurt people. theyre just gonna go in anyway. then we have the fact that trans men being pushed into womens bathrooms will be putting so much more men into there. thats gonna make women even more uncomfortable because trans men ARE men and we look just like cis men (those of us who pass). Then we also have the fact that pushing trans men into those bathrooms will make it SO much easier for predatory cis men who just walk in under the guise of 'im a trans man'. which is exactly the flip around scenario of what these transphobes are 'protecting' women against.
Stuck in Dora the Explorer mindset thinking predators can be stopped by going "Swiper no swiping"
Older trans guy here (I turned 47 a couple of weeks ago)! I socially transitioned in 2011, started hormones in 2012, had chest surgery in 2015, and had lower surgery in Jan of 2024! Still hoping for either revisions or an abdominal phallo (depending on what the surgeon says about the revisions). Happy to answer any questions!
thats so epic woa
older trans ppl are so cool :3
I’m so very happy to hear you’re still here
@@kriskijktvideos That's awesome! Congrats on starting your medical transition journey! You're definitely not too old! :)
Wow! So kind and generous of you to help support others in that way!❤
The chest dysphoria is so real. It doesn’t matter how flat I got it it feels massive. Being genderfluid and experiencing the reverse is very trippy as well, because once in a while it feels concave no matter how much padding I get.
I myself am not trans, but nothing gives me more joy than wholesome trans memes honestly
Fr same !
Same! I’m queer but cis, and I love trans memes!
Same!
My favorite positive trans stereotype is that we are super creative and have unique humor so I love this 🫶 YAY TRANS POSITIVITY and thank you so much allies, y'all SAVE LIVES genuinely 🥺 We so need people like you rn
We love you!
10:40 Sir Spencer Bergsted!
I came out as trans in 2001. So I'm kind of an elder to people transitioning now. But there were only a couple dozen publicly-known trans people at the time and they were elders to me, who I looked up to. He was one of them. I'm so proud of them, they deserve their flowers.
it's wild to think that you came out a full 8 years before I was born
@@pixel_chip0 Aww thanks. I was 16. (and if I do the maths right, I think you're about the same).
I had never realized there were other people like me. I was out as bi but that wasn't really it. I wasn't just gender non-conforming, I was dysphoric. I just didn't know the word. When I finally happened across stories of trans people, I instantly recognized myself in them and I had the words. So that gave me hope.
I had a rough time starting out because my parents weren't supportive so I had to wait until after high school to medically transition but at least I had hope and I met other trans people online and in real life. I met my trans boyfriend in 2002, when I was 17 and he was 16, and we helped each other start our transitions.
It is very good to find and build community to know that we're not alone. I fell away from community for too long, there was a lot of pressure even in the trans community, to be "stealth", to just transition and live your life as though you were cis, telling very few people. Reconnecting with the trans community over the past two years has been wonderful. I also recognized that I was being scared into a binary gender I didn't really resonate with just to fit in. So I was able to publicly affirm being nonbinary and using they/them without as much fear of people knowing I'm trans, even at work.
So even though I've been out as trans from 16-40, more than half my life and all of my adult life, I don't think of my transition as over -- in a good way. I think understanding my own gender and creating my own future and way I present and interact with the world will be something that grows and evolves throughout my whole life.
Whatever your path, find the people who can connect with you and share those same experiences. Blending in with the cis is overrated.
❤
@@asongfromunderthefloorboards Thanks so much. I appreciate the kind words.
It's wild how I thought I wouldn't live past 18, then past 23 and now I'm 26, living my best life and learning of all these people that got to live in a way I used to only dream of
I’m already feeling nostalgic. Jamie’s trans meme videos helped my sheltered ass realize that I was nonbinary! I’m so much happier than I was back then. Thank you, Jamie! ❤️
Your profile picture is amazing! It looks like a cat music note!!
Well done you for making that journey! x
Same for me!!
The trans meme vids had me go "wait i relate to this quite a bit actually"
Took me almost a year of questioning to figure out i was nonbinary/agender!
Its been like 4 years now since i found jamies channel
Haha actually me too. I remember being like “I like to watch a variety of youtubers! this is so interesting! I go down rabbit holes all the time! Completely aside from that, am I queer or not?” 🥚
I too was able to look at myself truly through watching Jamie's videos. Now I know I am asexual and nonbinary.
I'm a transguy and the first thing people ask when I came out was "when are you cutting your hair?" I like my hair long so i just point out 90's metal rock bands hair styles.
Also, Thank you Jaime, I now realize I am a straight white guy, the very thing I hated when I was a teen.
:'D Hey, at least you're not one of those giving the group a bad rep. In fact you're part of the minority upholding any reputation that group has at all. So thank you and also sorry!
I like my hair long too like the old metal guys \m/
Thanks for the shout out, Jammie!!
Sir, you are an inspiration!
OMG hiiiii!
@@SorrySod Thank you so much!
@@SkittlezDemize Hi!
Thank you for being a visible elder. It means a lot!
@10:15 He just looks like a normal guy with a dad bod. I have a lot of feelings about this... I'm in my thirties and a lot of people my age have anxiety about aging, but I look at middle aged trans guys and it just makes me happy. I want this future. I just had top surgery two weeks ago (August 5th) so I'm still healing. Bandages come off on Tuesday.
@@jamesmitchell7707 Congrats on your surgery. Here’s to gentle healing.
Wishing you good recovery und healing!
Congrats! That's awesome! Good luck with the healing. Don't push yourself faster than you're supposed to. ;) (As a nurse I'm legally obligated to add unsolicited medical mommy nagging)
25:06 I hate this whole "It could happen though" thing, a fork could also hurt someone, does that mean we need to ban forks now? I don't think so.
I wonder if he has the same rhetoric about knives or guns. They're easily far more dangerous than the "trans boogeyman" from the nonsense he's been fed.
11:00 Every time I see an older queer/trans/etc person, it makes me very happy. Not just because it's a big FU to the bigots nowadays who say it's just a new age trendy thing, but also, because these people made it. They survived.
Teacher: why should we listen to you and care about what you want your daughter to be called?
Me: You know what, Mrs. Riley? You've got a point, ma'am.
Misgendering transphobic cis people is fun. Suddenly they care about misgendering. 😂
@@PsychicHyraxif you think they het mad at that, try misgendering a cis person's dog
@@_StarlightRose_😂
@@_StarlightRose_Just calling them Cis will make them lose their minds.
@_StarlightRose_ I once had a bigot correct themselves after misgendering a dog in front of me and then shoot me this incredibly guilty look when she saw me smirking at her, giving more respect to an animal then she gave me.
Hi fellow LGBTQ+s! I live in the UK and I've been referred to a top surgeon!!! In a year's time I might have a top surgery date! I'm so excited! 🥳
yoo congrats!!!!!
The ol' teat yeet
Congrats!!!🎉🎉🎉
I am non-binary (genderfluid) and I haven't completed the process to legally change my name until this Summer. I think the most heartwarming time is when my college professor accidentally wrote my deadname on a document when she was trying to make groups for an assignment. She freaked out more than I did and profusely apologized. I do appreciate the people like this more than those refusing to use my real name.
@@keaganruttan6290 Dead name? Omg.
That’s a sweet teacher! 😊❤️
Hi, Jamie! First of your videos for me, cis, hetero, senior chick, here. Oh my goodness! I SO appreciate your compassion, wit, and effective educational style (citing sources, even!). I have two educator friends who focus on the LGBTQ+ community, one of which has a collge-age child transitioning. Will share this with them. Loved seeing the older person; really warmed my heart to see someone who is clearly at ease with themselves. (And yes! Terrific beard!😊) You, my dear, are brilliant, adorable, and I'd be thilled to have a kiddo like you. ("Childless cat lady," here!😂) Please keep doing what you are doing!❤
I don't why, but when I think of transphobes I think of them in a Hank Hill voice, but Hank would react to a trans person like "Well I don't know what a transgender is, but if you're happy I won't stop you"
there was actually that one episode with the drag queen and it was probably one of the most positive compared to other adult cartoons like simpsons or family guy
@@Swagsoviet06 In that episode, Hank could NOT wrap his head around a man dressing as a woman, so much so that he would not speak to the drag queen's drag persona, but he would speak to the drag queen's "brother", AKA the drag queen in men's clothes with a deep voice. 😅
I like the super old meme of the "almost correct redneck" who's a little crass and ignorant, but means well
"Do I look like I know what a transgender is? I just want you to be happy and be yourself!"
The bathroom in ur house is gender neutral too! They're kinda designed to be used by everybody! Funny that!
The toilets in women's bathrooms almost ALL can lift the seats for standing up. Bathrooms are bathrooms. People always stutter when you bring up that women can be predators too when they spout off about men in the women's bathroom. Maybe we shouldn't be allowing small children to go to the bathroom alone? Why would you send your small son into the "proper" men's restroom with all these old "predators"? Many p3dos, if not most, would hurt biologically male children too given the chance. Such a ridiculous discourse from conservatives.
You mean your bathroom is WOKE?! /s
The transphobes think we want some large communal bathroom where everyone just goes around with their junk out, but in reality, I just want a bit of privacy and stall doors that actually go to the floor.
How many people get raped in home bathrooms?
Some places have even had gender-neutral bathrooms for a long time just so there are places where it's easier to change a baby's diaper. I've never heard a peep about being afraid of men going in to harm anyone because it doesn't happen there, either. People just want to get rid of their bodily wastes in peace. Weirdos are going to be weirdos no matter what the rules are.
I was at Steve Hofstetter's show last year in Chattanooga. He did his entire set in a dress, and it was all new material targeting Tennessee's new anti drag legislation. It was spot on, hilarious, and fucken brilliant!
19:07 I bet my English teacher is the same way. Some kids in my homeroom class go by nicknames, but I bet if I said I wanted to go by my chosen name, Alexander, she would flip out.
When I was in 3rd grade my teachers all asked kids with long names what they wanted to be called and when I asked my teacher years later if she could call me by a name that was actually easier to pronounce for her than my legal name (I’m an immigrant and people always struggled with my legal name because it’s not common or pronounceable really) she smiled and giggled sarcastically and said ‘I’m not gonna do that, sweetheart.’ In front of the whole class. Huh.
If that happens, you can always misgender the teacher back. "Oh sorry, sir! Excuse me Mr. Smith!" Because hey, apparently HE doesn't think it's such a big problem anyway 😊😊
Some more about the bathroom thing that is always left out. I’m a cisgender gay male and I’ve had to use locker rooms since I was swimming at the YMCA back when I was eight. Starting there and going all the way until now, it has never mattered to so many guys at the gym that kids are also using the gym, they walk around full junk out all over the place. The old men would stand there at the Y talking loudly with their penises out, bringing attention to themselves with their barrel laughs. There were at least three dudes in junior and high school who developed early who would walk around almost trying to BAIT other guys into scooping out their bits. I’m not talking about the showers here, I’m talking about full out wandering around the men’s locker room with their stuff out, no towel around the waist, just letting everything flop in the wind. How is the problem trans people when this has been an experience that I’ve had for over three decades?
OT1H, you raise a very good point (no pun intended) - and it happens in women's locker rooms, too.
OTOH, why shouldn't we all get at least a little more comfortable with our bodies?
I remember a high school girl who found out it wasn't illegal to go topless in our town, so she started walking in the main shopping mall topless, enjoying the attention it got her. The mall's management put up with it until she started rubbing her chest against the windows of restaurants to get the attention of diners, at which point they barred her, threatening to have her arrested because "making a lewd and lascivious display" *_WAS_* illegal.
Well, @theresas740, your objection to trans woman using thre women's locker room is that "transwomens' [sic] block and tackle is in the locker room with women."
Where do you think trans women's bodies should be?
Should they endure the humiliation of being the only women who are refused access to the women's locker room, and be forced to use the men's locker room? Be subjected to sexual aggression and abuse from hostile and/or fetishizing men? You're okay with women and girls suffering like that?
Or are you saying they should just sit at home and play Farmville?
Do, please, explain exactly what you have in mind. What sort of abuse do you want to inflict upon trans women and trans girls?
@@arcadiaberger9204 going topless is not the same as going bottomless. Breasts are not genitalia and shouldn’t be sexualized, whereas a penis or vagina is not appropriate to be walking around uncovered around strangers especially children.
@@shiroiojicosplay9622 i am a Man who thanks to a hormonal condition looks like a Woman. But i am still a Man identity as such and therefore will not use the Womens locker rooms. You should see the faces of those junk out Guys when i enter the locker room.
Tf?
20:21 brb crying. I tried to come out in 2018 as trans and got pushed back in the closet because I thought I WAS WRONG. Believe your kids man. Listen to them and especially the things that they have to work up courage to say.
dayum i feel bad for u
same, it took me years to even give myself permission to be trans bc I was convinced I was wrong
Jamie: is a trans man
Also Jamie: why am I relating to all these trans-masc clips?
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
Me before realising I'm enby, saying I relate to every bit of Trans* content and having a lot of Trans/enby friends and feeling safe relating to them but not knowing why 😂
@@Willow_moon364 hahahah mood 👌
I'm a cis gender woman raising 2 cis gender daughters. I live in a very conservative community. When boy/ girl distinctions come up in public, like adults wondering if they've correctly gendered a baby or a child, or an adult makes a comment like - boys will be boys, etc. Now I say, loudly and with direct eye contact. 'It probably doesn't matter what's in their pants, let's just say child in a blue shirt. Or. Oh, honey, I don't think that behavior is because of the genitals they have.' Adults get very flustered.
My kids talk about adults and kids, long and short hair. But we don't emphasize boy or girl.
God bless
23:40 I believe this is important to say. at one point in my life I would have said and believed every word that this girl said. I was a “progressive” Christian in some ways, but I had been taught this exact message my whole life and would regurgitate it with a huge smile on my face.. Jamie hit the nail on the head, people like this have no idea what they are talking about because they have never even attempted to understand. The reality is that if you want to continue to be a Christian and not be butting up against the problematic principles of the religion you have to shut yourself off from a lot of understanding and experience, that’s why many of these kids “accept and love” but also have such unrealistic expectations without any substance.
My update is that I stopped believing that line of thought and after that stopped believing in a higher power, but I always think if there is one, they definitely wanted me to TRULY love, accept and understand lgbtq+ people, because my sister came out as a lesbian, my brother came out as asexual, and about 8 years ago I came out as bi. We were all Christians that repressed and shut away that part of ourselves, it wasn’t an easy road, but I’m happy to say I have an even stronger relationship with my siblings now and feel truly lucky.
If there really was a person (or multiple people) who inspired the Jesus legends, that person would've been in favor of LGBTQIA+ rights. Matthew 22:37-40 & Matthew 25:40 taken together mean that Jesus in the Bible proclaims ANYONE who truly loves ANYONE is SAVED. How would such a person NOT believe Love is Love? How could that person NOT be for identifying others in the way that is kindest to them? How could that person think someone's mere existence would be a sin? IT MAKES NO SENSE.
I think something a lot of people don't understand is that faith and religion are not the same thing. Religion is a set of societal norms determined by people meant to lead to a harmonious congregation of the faithful. Faith is between you and whatever higher power you believe in. I've seen people say that if religion changes with society it cannot possibly be true. But religion is not faith and it is people trying to make sense of their experience with divinity (which is what would have lead them to faith). I guess what I'm trying to say is: you are right, as a queer Christian, I believe that God wants us to love unconditionally and that they don't care about what we do in the bedroom or how we express ourselves in the bodies they gave us (also: who said God should be male? If God is as powerful as they say, how could a concept like gender restrict them?).
If you ever end up missing your faith, there are quite a few lgbtq+ congregations out there (I know of a church where they do a "name blessing" which is like a baptism to their new name for trans people - I guess this depends on the country and area you are in). I've heard a lot of people say that they miss their faith sometimes, that's the only reason I'm even saying this (and I guess, I hope to restore your faith in humanity a little bit). I won't be the person who'll try to convince you of something you don't want or try to give a long argument for why "you chose wrong" (is there any argument more stupid?). I wish you well on your life's journey. I hope you'll be blessed with happiness and good fortune.
@@starrywizdom I understand where you’re coming from, I have made the same argument in the past.. Matthew is saying to treat others well, and 15:20 is explaining what treating others well means, this is always a passage used to show the love Christians should have, that you push people to repent for sins, and if that doesn’t work then you treat them the way Jesus treated sinners, which is obviously with love… but it is a very Christian idea of love, meaning it doesn’t change what they define as sin, it is just saying to treat sinners respectful as that might bring them to god (parable of the lost sheep). It shouldn’t take a lot of empathy to understand that viewing someone as an evil person but treating them nicely isn’t the best ground for a friendship, especially it you consider that the implication is that if you are kind to a “sinner” they may change, and that should be a basis of your relationship, and when you further consider that the Christian hope in this case is that the friend will no longer be lgbtq+ (or won’t act on it) it is especially bad.
@@cassandramuller7337 thank you for being kind, I have come to the decision that whatever happens, I would only want to be saved by a god that would take me just as I am.
@@vcvcvc9216 The God I believe in would definitely do that. It's about love and not condemnation. I think you've already figured out the truth. But like I said: Faith is a personal journey and I don't believe in persuading people. That would mean that they'd believe in me and that is just some bs because what do I know?
I think you're a very wonderful person from this short exchange. Don't let anyone take that from you. And don't let anyone tell you that you're not good enough.
I sometimes work with a trans boy from a different shop (he/they pronouns. They are honestly the best, I love working with him so much). He is really early in his transition and still working things out, ie deciding on a name etc. so whenever I see them, I either just refer to them by the name on their name badge, or if they have forgotten it, I'll ask 'what name are you going by now?' and they are just so happy that I checked and that I cared.
It's not hard at all to just call people by their chosen name and pronouns. Yes, you might make a mistake. I have 2 NB coworkers and sometimes I accidentally slip and misgender them, but I immediately correct myself and move on. I'm still learning, but I want to do better and be a better ally.
I'm Canadian, we ALL have going out flannels
😂😂😂❤
I'm Canadian and I choose freezing over wearing a flanel cuz dysphoria
So is my flannel Canadian or trans 🤔
🇨🇦🇨🇦🇨🇦
Especially Nicole Coenen!
"Leftover Meat from Ezras top surgery" was one of the funniest things I've heard in years.
LMAO as a tomboyish trans gal I feel very called out by "going out flannel" as well
as a feminine trans guy, i somehow feel called out by both the 'taking forever to get ready' and 'throwing on a going-out flannel' at the same time 😂
12:50 "i identify as non binary, but if you dont like pronouns, i identify as non interested"
NORMALIZE THIS!!! even for basic things like friendship or just talking to people I shouldn't have to PUT UP with someone that DOSN'T SUPPORT ME!! no one should have to!
identifying as a threat
@@AschenDog exactly XD
Can you PLEASE tell me this tik Tok user 😭 i wish the vids were credited
no one gives a fk what you identify as.......that might matter to you, but no one else
Showed the older dude to my husband because as you said it's rare to see people who have already walked the path. And all he could see was the awesome beard 😂💜
Spencer is such a blessing. I had the honor to work for a podcast that he agreed to participate in a while ago. So much love and respect to our trans elders. The bigots who keep on parroting the same shit over and over again can suck it; We've always existed and I am so grateful to have older trans people putting themselves out there on social media where they can be seen, they are beacons of hope to me.
I heard a very comforting perspective from Tina Friml (CP comedian), which translates here: being trans is actually the best thing in the world because it preselects the ppl that you want to surround yourself with and you end up with very kind and compassionate friends. It's an immediate screening
the awe i felt seeing a trans man who was an adult when i was in elementary school. god. amazing
I love Steve Hofstetter's comedy (the gentleman at 4:46 ). He wore a dress on stage in Tennessee to protest an anti drag law 2 days after the law was passed (he looked very nice) and he puts out as an all around cool guy (I've seen him live a few times and intend to go see him next time he's in town)
He also talked during the drag about having an "oh" moment, when he went to buy the dress, a one time thing, and didn't know whether to use the women's change room or the men's. And for a second, he had a taste of what trans people face.
"I identify as non-binary, unless you think pronouns are stupid, and then I identify as non-... confrontational."
I felt that in my soul.
i love seeing people speak on their top surgery. the dysphoria around my chest has been with me since puberty. i hated when my breast started coming and would wear sports bras to stay as flat as possible. sadly i was pushed to wear normal bras for formal events and then it became a regular expectation. I never knew why back then and knowing the info that is more available now makes it very apparent what i was back then.
lack of information doesn't stop you from being who you are. it makes you confused and willing to make yourself unhappy to please others bc you dont think you have a choice.
Thank you! THIS IS SO SO SO TRUE. I had no idea there was such a thing as Ace, only that it was in the DSM as something like "Sexual Avoidant Disorder" until the DSM 5, and that the nickname for cis women who didn't enjoy sex was "a cold fish." So I had sex with my romantic partners, because I thought it was simply the "price of admission" for a relationship. I figured I was just broken because I didn't enjoy it, and if I did it enough I'd start to like it. Funny thing is, I never did. At worst it was painful and boring, at best it was like riding a Ferris Wheel - it goes up, it goes down, nothing exciting about it. Honestly my mind would wander to what I was going to do once they were done and how I'd rather be reading a book. After about 30 years, I figured out that it doesn't make me broken. It makes me Asexual.
[Edit: I had trans friends before I even knew Ace was a thing. I knew two Trans women who transitioned in the 80s and early 90s. One of them, named Susan, was my computer science professor. She was so out and proud that in her book sleeve, it started her bio with "Susan, formerly Richard, has two adult daughters and ..." I don't remember the rest. I'd include her last name, but it's not my story to share. Doubt she'd care, but like I said.]
No idea if this is relevant, as I do think of myself as a cis woman, but the worst times in my life were also when I started developing breasts at age 12, and when I started menstruating, later on when I was 12. And I took after my dad's side and had huge bazoombas, unlike my mom and her mom. I had a breast reduction to get DOWN to a DD almost 15 years ago. I hated them and I wanted them gone. They garner attention I don't want, and just get in the way. Plus I have to wear bigger shirts because I REALLY don't want to have people looking at them. I totally identify with Jamie's story about pulling on his shirts to make sure he didn't look like he had breasts. I still wish I had them totally removed. Maybe I'm nonbinary, or maybe I just don't like having a ridiculously trad "feminine" body shape? Fuck, I don't know. I'm just glad I don't have periods any more, and that at least my bazooms are a total of about 1.4 kilos lighter than they used to be.
@@jooleebilly very much in the same boat. Being genderfluid I am shocked every time I go from laying down to sitting because *bong* they appear. Also happens when leaning over something or someone. Considering I have feeling only around the base of them on my chest wall they really shock me sometimes. Really hope I can have a safe top surgery and be comfortable with myself
Oh, yes, there's so much "weird stuff" that I did or thought growing up that made no sense to me at the time, but in hindsight it makes perfect sense, because now I know I was a girl and just hadn't realized it yet. For girl forced to live as a boy, the "weird stuff" seems perfectly logical now.
I had a hysterectomy for endometriosis reasons. I didn't realise how much my period was giving me severe dysphoria til after. I knew it was an issue before, but OH BOY not ever having to worry about periods ever again? I cry thinking about it
Yep. I called puberty "torture" and thought refusing to wear bras meant my chest wouldn't grow. I said I hated my chest and wanted it gone, only to be laughed at by adults "for acting childish" and told to give it a couple years, I'd absolutely love them. Of course I was acting childish, I was 10, 10 year olds are children. Yeah, it's been well over a decade and I hate them more every day. Instead of knowing I was non-binary and that top surgery was an option (I used to dream about getting breast cancer almost every night because that was the only way I knew to get rid of your chest), I was treated like I was broken, wrong, defective and immature.
If a teacher ever talked about my child like that, I would immediately pull my child out of that school.
i'm sure if you did reproduce, you kid would have the same mental illnesses you have bc you would teach them.......the rest of the parents would be happy your kid would be gone
Stop arguing about this.This is getting old.
@@Leo-yoowhat are they arguing about? They're stating what they would do in a specific situation. That's not an argument. It's a statement of opinion.
I started hormone blockers at 16 and then started testosterone a month before my 18th birthday. Now at 22 I’ve had top surgery (nearly two months post op) and I’m the happiest I’ve ever been and every day i think about how happy i am that i was able to get top surgery 😊. Never once have i had a thought of regret about anything.
God, I love Steve Hofstetter so much. I may not agree with every single thing he has ever said, but he is so funny and so thoughtful and thought-provoking. His earliest work is good too, but the last three specials, which are free to watch on youtube, have been some of the best political commentary comedy I've ever heard.
That teacher was extremely immature. If a teacher is speaking to a parent in that way, whether its transphobia or not, that's just him doing a bad job. Teachers should act professional on phone calls too, and having some bullshit breakdown over pronouns is definitely not professional...
That's the problem they are so convinced, so far gone, that they think this IS professional, that they are standing up for truth and reality, like a teacher should.
They never stop to wonder if maybe, they're wrong.
It's arrogant.
The job of a teacher is to educate. While this usually implies educating students, if your *job* entails spreading knowledge, I feel like it would be wise to gain more knowledge yourself. Bottom line, being a transphobic teacher seems like a contradiction in terms.
it really is a contradiction. my science teacher is exactly the example of how a teacher should be. he told us all that if someone says theyre a man, theyre a man and we have no reason to deny that. he made it clear to us all that sex and gender are scientifically two different things. great guy, and it was an instant feeling of safety for me and my friends.
7:44 im trans, and sometimes since my best friend knew me when i thought i was a girl she slips up and accidentally calls me a she or my given name. Its honestly so sweet bc as soon as she realizes she quickly apologizes a bunch and corrects herself.
Reminds me of me, tho im more self critical then apologising. Especially cause i accidentally misgender my bestfriend in my head on rare occasion and i literally feel horrible after. Never done it out loud tho 😂
I relate to this so much lol, i came out about mid 8th grade and I remember one of my friends deadnaming me and was like “shit shit alex i mean alex” and it was so sweet that i didn’t care that they made a mistake in the first place
There's a real difference between making a mistake and being an asshole.
@@antediluvianatheist5262 fr
@@antediluvianatheist5262 one is “making a mistake” and the other is “their mum made a mistake” XD
"See??? See Barbara??? This is what they do!!!" 🤣This video brought my heart so much joy! 🥰 Love your content!!!
as a trans teen who got my first dose of T today, you make me so optimistic for my bright future as a man :)
Congratulations! I hope it's going well for you!
How is it after a month :]
so happy for you! I just started 5 months ago as an adult. I'm happy you got to access it earlier :D
"Nah, man, that's Peenalope" I'm stealing that line 😭
that sent me so hard 💀 we gotta use that on transphobes tho like "oh? Damien? nah ok doormat sorry you suck."
I've been called that before.
@@PennesinoTheGreat peenalope? 💀 so sorry for you penovalo
that teacher sounds a LOT like my parents with the "bow down to you" bs 💀 they say a lot of that stuff
I'm an older trans person but I didn't start my transition until 5 years ago. I'm so happy for the younger generations being more supported by society in general. Love your authentic life and live it to the fullest.
13:40 it’s interesting, i think there is an overwhelmingly higher amount of cis people that regret their surgeries . This part made me think of how my cousins (cis women ) were telling me to get a boob job bc I’m an AA . I know myself , I don’t want that for my body , I would have regretted it . They didn’t like so much that I reminded them that their surgeries were gender affirming care… but yea , this thought that anyone could know better for how someone else wants their body to look is outrageous to me .
Now I'm imagining a dystopian fiction like *_The Handmaid's Tale_* in which "flatchested" girls who display gender nonconforming behavior are mandated to get boob jobs as part of their "gender-affirming therapy", along with mandatory long hair, mandatory skirts and heels, mandatory body hair removal, &c.
Funny how they care about your b00b size-------- wtf 😅 hope ur ok
Seriously, welcome to the Xtian Right in the US, aka fans of Xtian Nationalism, aka Jesus 'Sharia' Law. They seem quite confident that they know exactly who Jesus would hate. And they forget that verse in their Good Book that goes "Judge not, lest ye be judged" and all that other stuff about how it's their God's job to punish sinners, not theirs, and how one shouldn't point out the tiny wood sliver in someone else's eye when they have a whole-ass log in their own. I like to call them hypochristians.
I feel so validated as a cis person, when augmentation is referred to as gender affirming. I'm afab, and identify as fem, but never "felt" fem. So to me, wanting an augmentation feels like it's gender affirming.
@@sabaducia Absolutely, breast augmentation is gender-affirming care.
Breast reduction surgery is gender-affirming care, too.
A brassiere is gender-affirming care.
Buying a bikini is gender-affirming care.
Anything that makes you feel your gender more is gender-affirming care.
I knew a woman who was what most people would describe as a "classic bulldyke", physically. When her lover bought her a pair of cheap fishnet stockings at a Halloween pop-up store, she said it made her see herself in a completely different light.
Another perfect example of gender-affirming care.
If trans-affirming care is what will stop transkids from being miserable and prevent self-exits, then there's no question that it's the right thing to do. Love seeing all these happy people!
For conservatives, cruelty is the point. We know the health outcomes and benefits of social and medical transition, then they look at it and go "Nah, I prefer more harm than more trans people". The point is to eradicate us or make us miserable at the very least.
"Trans-affirming care" (child abuse) literally destroys mental development, is extremely unhealthy, and usually the adults convince the child to do it, not the other way around.
Give them actual help maybe instead of ruining their physical and mental development.
Stop perpetuating the myth that kids are going to unalive themselves if they don't transition. 20 years ago "trans kids" was not a thing that existed yet there weren't masses of kids self-deleting themselves. Kids' self-deletion rates haven't dropped when people start "letting" their kids transition. There is no basis to this assertion. You don't have any statistics to back it up, nothing.
Transitioning kids is cruel beyond words. Putting a child on a path of puberty blocker, then cross-sex hormones, is horrific medical abuse. The kid will not go through the natural process of puberty his or her body need. We have no idea what the implications of this long term. Well, except from the fact that they become sterile - not "might have fertility issues", not infertile, sterile - that they will have to take sex hormones for the rest of their lives, that they will be in a state of hormonal imbalance for the rest of their life unless they detransition - because their sex is still the one they are born with, so the body expects the levels of sex hormones fitting to the sex - that the males will have micropenis which is an issue if they want to have SRS in the future (and if they don't, they are left looking like a woman... with a micropenis), and that if they detransition, they don't have a mature natural body to get back too. Apart from all the above, which is terrible enough on its own, there might be many other health implications we don't know about yet.
And don't tell me "cis people have been taking these medication for 50 years so we know the implications" - no. We don't know. We've never stopped the puberty and then went straight to cross-sex hormones before. So we don't know. These kids are guinea pigs - although I don't know if they even monitored properly and their medical history recorded as it should, so maybe that's not the right term. I don't even know what to call it. It's no different than child castration they used to do to boys who can sing well to preserve their voice.
Making trans kids so miserable that they unalive _is the entire point of banning trans-affirming care._ It's a feature, not a bug.
Thanks for including that clip of Trans Dad Spencer Bergstedt! I don't have tiktok because I know it's not a healthy app for me, so I miss out on a lot of content... but seeing a Trans elder like him is super appreciated!! Seeing a guy still living a healthy life even though he had his top surgery one year after I was born? Super inspiring. It's possible. He communicates so clearly and is so cool.
@@nellieharper2572 Hey there. I’ll be porting a bunch of content over here to RUclips. Keep a lookout.
Born around the same time. Glad to have learned of Spencer through this video, we really need to hear more from our trans elders.
People saying that "trans people want to show their genitals" is so incorrect, like im not trans, idk what I am but I do know that I deal with extreme gender dysphoria, I can tell you the last thing I want to do is be nude in a locker room, Like bro??
20:16 I have a feeling that if the transphobes see statistics say that most trans kids eventually stop IDing as trans (a.k.a. the ones done for the old diagnostic criteria), they will talk about how it's a phase, but if you show them statistics that say that most trans kids will remain trans (the ones for the new criteria), they will say that affirming their gender causes them to remain trans, and if you "stand your ground and don't indulge them," then they'll grow up as good, "normal" cis kids. There's no way to win with these people.
You are correct. My mom would say of these people, "My mind is made up, don't confuse me with the facts!"
the statistics most people tend to cite for this conflate identifying as trans with just being gender nonconforming, which is problematic for multiple reasons.
I think too one aspect that those studies don't encompass is the fact that when society is so venoment against trans people there are going to be some people that give up on what they really feel like just so that they don't go against the grain of society so roughly. 😟 So that's basically being bullied into conformity.
Basically this is what Hilary Cass suggests strongly in her reviews:
"A treatment with puberty blockers, or even social transition is possibly leading children onto an irreversible treatment path in the future, and thus I advice severe caution in providing treatment, whether medically or psychology. There is a strong suggestion that gender exploratory therapy would prevent these treatment paths from being taken, from the idea that some children might not benefit of a medical pathway."
The term "gender exploratory therapy" is, by scientists considered to be a different way to name conversion therapy. And given how Hilary Cass LITERALLY advised a politician advocating for a piece of legislation leading to a flat-out ban on conversion therapy to not bring it to vote because "it would harm the professionals abilities to accurately assess and treat transchildren and trans young people", it's literally her advocating for conversion therapy.
And unfortunately, her reports are hailed as "The things you are not allowed to say anymore!" and "Well, she was unbiased for not being in this field so she is not ideologically driven!"....
The Dutch government unfortunately is also abusing her report now.
Kids don't know anything about "gender identity". They are not capable of understanding it, their brains are not developed enough to grasp the concept.
Leave kids alone. Puberty blockers followed by cross-sex hormones is horrific abuse. Just leave kids alone.
Hearing you talk about dysphoria when it comes to legal names just affirmed my troubles so much. I often think that "i am not trans enough" and that i am overreacting when it comes to small things like my legal name or misgendering. We love you Jamie!
This channel helped me realise I’m genderfluid as well as bisexual
Dude same. I’m genderfluid and demisexual. Jamie really helped me in so many ways ❤️
Fellow genderfluid bisexual spotted 😮🫵
The regret argument is so stupid for me. On any choice really, but especially gender affirming care. I am cis, so can't speak personally on that specific.
Whst if they regret it?
Worst case scenario they are an adult and will address it, like with every other decision in life.
20:51 as a trans man i used to think that this teacher's type of behavior was normal because i hadn't met very many people who acted decent towards me, this is why support is so important. what a good mom
Love that this video includes proof and mentions of data to back up everything being said. Shows that there's so much proof against transphobic nonsense when they're gettin all their info off of Barbara's Facebook page.
Also, not been here before and Jamie's hair is so pleasing to look at. 11/10 style right there!!
It’s so weird that they’ll give you a different name when Jamie is neutral.
2:15 the audible gasp i let out. omg.
my heart is getting all fuzzy