Nerd³'s Hell... CHARIOT WARS
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- Опубликовано: 15 сен 2024
- Unity: The Unitying
Game Link: Oh fuck off.
End theme by the incredible Dan Bull:
/ douglby
All other music is in game music. It makes me want to reconsider what makes a game AAA.
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The horses are at 15fps, the guy is at 30, the smoke is at 60 and the cape is at 467823589426356fps
to the 10th power
That cape is warping in and out of dimensions yet known to man
The cape is what we call in the lab, "The specimen that warps in and out of dimensions at 467823589426354 to the tenth power fps". By "we" I mean me, and by "lab" I mean teenage boy's man cave. And by "I" I mean a sad teen on his laptop eating Quavers. Love Quavers
You weren't even around in 128 AD, how do you know this isn't a completely accurate representation of how chariots were raced in the past...
AnAngryBanker
Because the laws of physics were around in 128 AD.
Cameron Breeze How do you know that the laws of physics didn't come into play in 129 AD?
adzo101
Just a hunch
I don't want to live on this planet anymore
Lord SparkleBottom WOAH HANG ON A SECOND
Dont do it, it isnt worth it D;
This game costs more than LEGO Worlds...
Daniel Jones LEGO Worlds could cost a lot more and LEGO Worlds would still be worth the money...
calvaughan27 Don't give them ideas
Nikola Milisic It'll go up in price after early access. They've already said it
celticfreak12 Not to mention, I'm sure there will be a lot of DLC to buy.
Wouldn't be surprised, but ima still buy it
I want to point out that when he went backwards the game thought he was in 1st place.
I have a sneaking suspicion that he could have just turned around and finished a lap.
I wonder if you could have just spun in circles around the finish line until you win..
Did... he just reverse with a fucking horse?
Whaaaaat...
Dah Magpie Horses can walk backwards you know.
Any animal with legs, can walk backwards.
Foxtrot369 Ever reversed with a car that has a trailer at the back? Well that's basically the same with horses and a carriage...
Dah Magpie You specifically said reverse _'with a horse'_ not _'with a carriage'_.
Besides which, a Racing Chariot is hitched to the horses using solid poles,
meaning when the horses turn the chariot goes with them straight away rather than following behind.
Using our own example, the horses are the front wheels of the car doing the steering and the chariot is the rear wheels going with them, without the car *bending*. There is no trailer.
Foxtrot369 my bad
connor fricker Yes they can... :-/
Just for reference, this game costs $25. That Lego game he played earlier costs $15.
P the gun
Tomas Cooke pass*
***** Go fuck yourself, fucking spammer
WarriorDemago if you report them it helps kill their fake accounts
Arty Ivanenko And that lego game is classified as "good".
It has a huge lens flare instead of a sun, therefore it is a AAA title!
Lens flares supplied by J.J's Lens Flares. Nobody can see shit with these!
this would be such a cool concept for a physics based racing game. Where only the horses have momentum and you and they chariot are pulled along (so it looks realistic) and you have to struggle to keep yourself from falling as well.
Love how the trailing dust cloud looks like it's been drawn by a 5 year-old using the MSPaint Spraycan tool
nashcomb CHARIOT WARS is a high quality story-led arcade racing game set in Ancient Rome with both singleplayer and multiplayer game modes.
• AAA quality arcade racing game
• Exciting murder mystery singleplayer story (via a digital graphic novel)
• Arcade racing
• Singleplayer Championship
• 8 player multiplayer
• Global Leaderboards
• Achievements & Trophies
• Game levels set in Egypt, Gaul, Greece and Helvetia
• Day and night levels
• 10 chariot models to win and upgrade
• 8 charioteer avatars
• 5 horse types
• Live streaming via Twitch
AshKetchumvictor Pretty sure it's not, mate
AshKetchumvictor I think they already went massively wrong at the "story-led racing game". Nobody wants to play a racing game that's heavy on story nobody cares about. And this is coming from a person who even enjoys the story of fighting games.
AshKetchumvictor no one appreciates a liar, bub
It probably was ;)
Helvetia day? More like comic sans day.
***** Can I have my virus in Times New Roman 24 point?
Archduke Slippy Only if you promise to finish your homework.
( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Archduke Slippy Helvetia: close enough to Helvetica that you don't care.
InsaneCraziness I noticed, but the joke was too open, I couldn't let it go.
***** Go fuck yourself!
Watch out NerdCubed, there's a black deathcrab behind your feet! (aka: The shadow)
It's all like "NOM NOM NOM"
And the cape was like, BLA BLAG BLR BLAG BLAH
Holy shit that does look like a headcrab!
Davvan you made my day XD thank you
Davvan But then... everything changed when the pixel monsters attacked.
This looks suspiciously like a mobile port...
ShopSongs I bet it would look better on mobile
ShopSongs Worry no more! Because it is!
ShopSongs Plot Twist: it fucking is.
Well... Fuck it
*shoots self with nerf gun*
Terrill Roberts And it's FREE! :P
there should be a Nerd³'s Heaven series, where he goes over (if not go back over) games that he bloody loves
I like how the lap counter starts at zero like each lap has it's own data and is placed in an array. If the person who made this knew anything about game design, programming, 21st century graphics, or how to appeal to people who like arcade racers not RPGs then this could be a good game. Right now it's just a good idea.
***** Oh, shit that's a badass achievement.
I fucking love Hell videos:D
those people are known as Satanists
tRonHD where tha fuck did ye come from
And I'm a satanist
jpogplayer he said where did you come from and you just said and im a satanist
Skinny121 101 that is quite normal on youtube no need to point it out
... this coment is also normal but i will point out your commend for the same reusun that you exsploined the comenting system to mr. satanist here...
in all honesty im drunk as hell and dont listen to me
Unfinished buggy mess set in historic Roman empire? Hmmm, what does this remind me of.
David Garethson Aliens vs Romans? c:
Rome: total war or ryse: son of rome.
Uncreative Name Rome total war is amazing.
Anthony J Probably means Total War: Rome 2
Scourgeblade Well that is fixed and fine now. Just the launch was fucked. Wouldnt compare it to Ryse or this...
yeah it's triple a if that stood for astoundingly atrocious abomination
I'm ashamed of you people that are calling this game unrealistic!
This game is a REALISTIC and ACCURATE depiction of what most indie devs shit out on Steam these days and get away with. Very realistic.
When a horse runs into a wall, should it enabl sparks?
(Yeah, I can spell it "enabl" if I want. The game devs did!)
H0lyMoley They just used some free unity store assets for car physics and pasted the horse and chariot models over them.
His shadow is a crab
Steam, stop putting people's college projects up for sale. :|
Especially for £20!!
loopysausage Hahah, you think this was made by a college student. Unless it was dumba** university, i think it was a middle-schooler.
Ignis Cotigans ohh come on a middle schooler could make something better than this it was obviously a pre-schooler
Ignis Cotigans Sad to say it but he said that 4 companies made this game...
manofdeath55 do we know which companies?
Could probably find out on steam.
2:07 Surprised Dan didn't notice the typo!
And Dan was having such a good day...
There was a missing "E" In Enable in the recommendation screen.
Remember when Big Rigs: Over the Road racing came out, and despite it being an unfinished pile of shit, it wasn't as if games of that horrid quality came out really that often? Now there's a fucking market niche where anyone can slap a copy and paste asset pack up and call it a game.
CHARIOT WARS is a high quality story-led arcade racing game set in Ancient Rome with both singleplayer and multiplayer game modes.
• AAA quality arcade racing game
• Exciting murder mystery singleplayer story (via a digital graphic novel)
• Arcade racing
• Singleplayer Championship
• 8 player multiplayer
• Global Leaderboards
• Achievements & Trophies
• Game levels set in Egypt, Gaul, Greece and Helvetia
• Day and night levels
• 10 chariot models to win and upgrade
• 8 charioteer avatars
• 5 horse types
• Live streaming via Twitch
"They have multiplayer if you have eight people in some sort of suicide cult." Dan's thoughts on this "wondrous" game.
That's sad....I have a game on steam too...and I idiot charge only 5 USD for my game while they get 25 $ everytime somebody buys their game...and their game is not even good.
Whats your game ill check it out :)
Cyber Punkz It's called Just Get Through - It's unfair that shitty games like CHARIOT WARS get way more attention than games by people who really made an effort to deliver a good game that works and is fun, for a more than fair price.
dxxPacmanxxb ill give your game a go, you have some really good reviews
dxxPacmanxxb Well looks *a lot* better than this
King Geedorah Thank you! Just Get Through definitely needs every single player it can get. With the latest update the game got daily runs and other gamemodes with steam leaderboards. It's sad that those leaderboards are pretty much empty
I wonder if the devs of this game are going to say the same thing as ODD games did for that monster truck game
I love the sparks that come from dragging a FUCKING HORSE across a wall
Hey Dan, just thought id let you know Farm Simulator 2015 has a boxed ps4 release. Saw it being sold in my local game store for 80 FUCKING DOLLARS.
Callum Anthony Leake 80?!
sergio hidalgo Well 79.95
Callum Anthony Leake Oh well that's comprehensible
xD
WarhammerGeek14 the same country that thought putting farming simulator on the vita was a good idea
Australia. Eb games.
I love the fire skid marks coming off the horses when they touch the walls... o_o
Cities: Skylines is a unity game and mechanically it is one of the most indepth games to come out in a looooooong time, Ori and the Blind forest is a unity game and it looks utterly gorgeous... unity is such a capable platform, can't help but feel sorry for the fact that it gets such a bad rep purely because of shite like this that gets flogged on steam of all things. ~.~
Fuck the shit-developers that use it to create games like this.
It's most unfortunate because Unity doesn't require you display the Unity splash screen when you pay for it. So when competent devs that pay to use it make a fantastic game in Unity...no one knows. When cheap devs that are just using their lunch break to write a game like this and use the free version it's made quite known that it was made in Unity before it even starts. So everyone associates a very powerful tool that can make great things with cheap one weekend projects made by people with no shame. Quite sad, really.
I love how the horses sparks when you hit a wall.
You know the game's shit when the thumbnail is comic sans
If anything is in comic sans you know it's shit.
My favorite are the sparks coming out when the horse runs against the wall.
This is why Unity has no respect, because the devs are too cheap to pay for even a month Unity Pro to hide the splash screen. No one knows Hearthstone was made in Unity, but the shittiest games always use the Asset Store assets and look and play like shit, and that's what Unity is known for
Maxr00TheGreat Which is sad, people (like Dan) bash on Unity because shitty devs make shit game with it. But do you see people bashing on Photoshop because artists make shit art with it? Unity is a TOOL, it's up to the devs to make good games, Unity have nothing to do with the final product quality of any game.
People like to focus on the bad, but, like you said, nobody say that Hearthstone, Kerbal Space Program, Cities Skyline or Ori and the Blind Forest (and more) are made with Unity, even Playtonic Games, made from ex-Rare members who made some of the best games on the Nintendo 64, chose Unity for their new game. It's up to them to use Unity wisely to make an awesome game.
People should not lose respect for Unity, but for Steam and Valve who accepts shit games like this on Steam. These games shouldn't available on Steam, or any marketplace.
Jiehnav That is true, but as you said, unity is a tool, so it doesn't need respect either. You also don't praise an artist's paint brush for the work the artist did. Its more behind the developer, and dan doesn't entirely bash on it, its more like he isn't surprised that a shitty game is made on unity.
True.
I just don't want people to pass by an awesome game just because it's made with Unity.
I saw a couple of people legitimately worried about Yooka-Laylee (the Playtonic/ex-Rare game) just because it is made with Unity, which is sad.
Also ksp, kerbal space program was made in unity
There's always a Hell video after Dan does something that makes him happy.
Lego Worlds and Terraria = 25$
This game = 25$
Suicide = Free
If I had to choose between this game and suicide,I'd choose suicide in a heartbeat
Dan didn't even mention the fact that when the character rotate and are facing you with their face... their capes vanish.
Why the hell are videos from Minecraft RUclipsrs showing up in the related videos?
Dan was a minecraft RUclipsr…
shaun03a Every video does that when they're brand new.
Also, he said the word minecraft in this video. I'll bet that auto-closed caption feature RUclips has is used for the related video algorithm too.
*****
hahahahaha that's funny
Krank Remix
I should also mention that the recommended videos also always account for your viewing history on RUclips and provide at least a couple suggestions from that...
This is the description on steam xDD
• AAA quality arcade racing game
• Exciting murder mystery singleplayer story (via a digital graphic novel)
• Arcade racing
• Singleplayer Championship
• 8 player multiplayer
• Global Leaderboards
• Achievements & Trophies
• Game levels set in Egypt, Gaul, Greece and Helvetia
• Day and night levels
• 10 chariot models to win and upgrade
• 8 charioteer avatars
• 5 horse types
• Live streaming via Twitch
Nerd3's Hell is now basically the pundland of nerd3 but except it's faaaar more than a pound...
Dan: This cost 19 pounds.
Me: Are you shitting me?
Dan: I am not shitting you.
When this video came out I was watching Lego worlds. I live YOUR VUDEOS KEEp doing them so I'm not PROCrAStinating
Alex Patterson do you even english
tommy ayers He would if he weren't procrastinating.
Alex Patterson he only survives in Dan's videos guys
I live for you tube
Ahh finally a new Hell video that had me creased 100% of the time. I've missed the brilliant Hell videos
I thought this was all fun and games, haha lyok at that cape etcetera, then you said 19 fucking pounds?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK MONKEY?
14:55 At this point, Dan's character is in the lead, despite going in the complete WRONG DIRECTION
LOGIC!!!!!!!!!
"....it costs 19 pounds...." and you still bought it.
BoojaxD So others don't have to
shedboy4lyf he made the sacrifice
#nerdsacrifice
*****
That's not a spambot. That's a link to the google play store, where the game somehow has over 3000 5-star reviews; the game is also free over there. So I'm not sure which is worse, that clearly most mobile users are retarded, or that the devs think so little of PC gamers that they would charge $25 for this.
TRISPECTROUS I'm not sure why, but the mobile on the play store is owned by Candella while the steam version is someone called OM Entertainment. Smells like stolen property...
That's brilliant- When you were going the wrong way, the UI thought you were in the lead...
You could have bought and played fucking Skyrim for $20!!!
Also please play Skyrim.
Haha, brilliant
***** Judging from things he has said in previous videos, he probably has played Skyrim off-camera.
He did a video on it a long time ago. Check the nerdcubed plays playlists
Eyem Oh, yes, I remember now. I must have thought that was someone else's video. I didn't really watch much of it, so that may be a big factor as to why I didn't remember initially.
Just checked it out, but he should do a full-on playthrough like he did red faction guerrilla.
5:10 when the Sparks came off the wall from the horse hitting it I lost it xD
Steven Guinn I bet they just used some free unity store assets for car physics and pasted the horse and chariot models over them.
I'm I the only person who's video skipped straight to 1:45
Yes I did
The dude is floating above the Chariot 😂
Bloody heck... I've seen flash games that look better than this!
Usmodlover (and they're free)
Usmodlover same EVEN STICK FIGURE FLASH GAMES LOOK BETTER like stick wars 1 and 2 or teritory war
***** Like the Stanley Parable or the Sniper Elite II demos
"This was the work of 4 companies"
My brothers in Christ, the way this thing looks I find that really hard to believe.
Why are an overwhelming majority of greek-roman based games utter SHIT?
Illuminati
Jesse GD the period was shit
^^ or that!
Jesse GD ...The Greeks were weird.
+The Duck What about Apotheon?
Careful Dan, you can get psychological whiplash lurching from a game you like as much as Lego Worlds to....this.
this is zoo race levels of bad.
Wished my cape entered the 4201337th dimension.
Hey Dan can you play Roblox??
Loren S i only upvote you because i can just imagine dans screams of horror at what roblox has done to lego
For the love of all that is holy, no
LOL 1 you people dont have to act like dicks about it 2 ever heard of a joke 3 roblox isnt that bad on my opinion
Loren S but it's interweb cancer
Joseph Broseph Lol true.
I watched this at 6 minutes past midnight but I still laughed out loud even though i was knackered
Half life 2 is atleast 3x cheaper than this shit
And 3.3 million to the power of infinity times better.
Half life 3 confirmed
THEGREAT QMAN ha lol
4 FUCKING COMPANIES?!?!!? I ALMOST SPIT OUT MY FOOD WHEN I HEARD THAT!!!
So you paid for this horseshit, but you bought Witcher 3 on a fucking console because "it was cheaper". Here you are complaining about framerate, when you went out of your way to buy a console game that's locked to 30, that plays way better with mouse and keyboard, the ability the mod and use a command console, etc. I've lost all respect for Dan's opinions on games because of the sheer number of nonsense decisions he makes. His content has nothing but comedic value, even when he's trying to be serious.
I agree with you but consoles are not locked to 30 frames
MangoTangoFox Also the fact that his PC's fans were broken. So playing the Witcher on PC would make everything explode.
MangoTangoFox Fair enough. I should have looked at his specs before making statements. I thought it was a lot worse when it came to the cooling and the fans. My bad.
Personally I don't look to Dan for any informed decisions regarding hardware, software or
games. I watch for comedy and that's about it.
I do agree with you though.
My bad I wasn't properly informed about stuff.
I watch the game he plays and decide myself what I think of the stuff I see.
Or I watch AngryJoe for reviews and TB for Uncut Raw and informed gameplay. And some other stuff.
MangoTangoFox Well I mean, he did say he built like 3 computers before this one, and he didn't build this one because he hadn't messed around with liquid cooling before, and wanted a huge warranty.
MangoTangoFox youre just outright stupid
anyone notice that when it said "this will enable you to advance faster in the championship", enable was written as "enabl"
Anyone else notice that the main character in the story was Archer Sterling in Greek armor?
"This will enabl you to advance"
I'm surprised NerdCubed usually picks up on every typo - 2:13
The horses aren't running, their headbanging!
"THIS WILL ENABL YOU..." Good job, Chariot Wars.
Dear god
I didn't know unity could spit out something like this
4:40 and the mother walks in. Thanks Dan.
That description though "Game link: Oh fuck off." You are honestly one of the funniest youtubers ever XD
What I love about Dan is he says things like THEY HAVENT EVEN INVENTED JESUS, invent I love you Dan
love the tip after losing 'avoid collisions with other chariots to prevent crashes'....
I bothered to frame through that "exciting graphic novel" and found this gem. After playing Ancient Roman Sherlock Holmes, the main character says to Caesar:
"We had some trouble last night. The charioteer from Judea was killed. And a woman."
14:13 I shat myself laughing!
Nice, a new video, just uploaded in time to banish my boredom!
Someone has probably pointed out- when Dan reversed the horse against the wall, sparks came out. Horse + brick = sparks, apparently
He was in heaven with Lego Worlds.
Now, he's in hell.
The track looks like all of the roads on Dan's city skylines world haha
@ 1:50
they probably start this way, because the developer couldn't figure out how to render the cape twosided, so it disappears when they turn around. XD
I saw him talking about this game on his twitter...somehow I just knew it would be in the "Nerdcubed's Hell" series
5:44 oh Dan, you're blessed with ignorance. Spend 10 minutes on Jim Sterling's channel and you'll take that statement back instantly.
3:33 that shadow though
guys for some reason the game link in the description won't work. I even tried copying it into the address bar but still nothing. I'm slightly disappointed because this really looks like a quality game and would be more than happy to part with my hard earned money for this hidden indie gem.
1. His feet aren't touching the chariot and 2. It look as if the boost doesn't actually speed you up, it just adds motion blur.
I am convinced the neigh the horse makes is the same as Epona in Twilight Princess when you make her go faster
I had to CLOSE MY EYES every time he pressed the space bar. Otherwise I got a headache and nauseous. Wonderful.
same here. its so awful.
Literally as soon as you said "This costs £19" my internet crashed.. It's like it. wouldn't cope with how outrageous that is lol
This is the new Air Control.
I'm not aware of any motion sickness issues or similar with me, but for some reason watching it made me feel sick enough to have to take a break.
Hell!?? This game is the representation of beauty. This game clearly shows the emotion whilst in the actual races. The cape? Its merely an interpretation of the emotions of the riders and of the Roman gods who have blessed them. Less than 60 fps? I think not. This game in fact runs at 80 fps but the game is purposely slowed down to simulate the dulling of details when the body experiences adrenaline rushes. The "glitches" are just simulating the occasional hallucinations when in a stressed environment. And the stories are a perfect addition to the game, as it adds character and emotion. The realistic mountains are by far the best I've seen since GTA 5. Clearly Officialnerdcubed is a disillusioned gamer who should actually appreciate the art and beauty of these games instead of picking on things only he doesn't like regardless of what we think. I give this game 10/10.
Wow, A horse with the topping speed of 1200, That... is a lot of horsepower.
Notice the clever use of sound effects from Daggerfall, to really give you that genuine "buggy-as-hell game from the 90's" feel.
1:22 Every single race name is in a different position.
Guys can i just get this out my system..
The missile knows where it is at all times. It knows this because it knows where it isn't. By subtracting where it is by where it isn't or where is isn't from where it is, which ever is greater. It obtains a differents or dedeatsion. The guidance subsystem using dedeations to generate corrective commands to drive the missile from a position where it is, to a position where it isn't and arriving at a position where is wasn't, it now is. Consequently the position where it is, is now the position that it wasn't and it follows that the position that was is now the position that it isn't. In the event that the position that it is in is not the position where it wasn't the system has acquired a variation; the variation being the difference between where the missile is and where it wasn't. If variation is considered to be a significant factor it too may be corrected by the GEA. However the missile must also know here it was. The missile guidance computer scenario works are follows. Because of variation has modified some of the information the missile has obtained it is not sure just where it is, however it is sure where it isn't within reason and it knows where it was. It now subtracts where it should be by where it wasn't or vicverser and by differentiating this from the algebraic sum of where it shouldn't be and where it was. It is able to obtain the dedeatsion and its variation which is called air.
The programmers were so lazy that they thought, "Hmm, its way easier to program the race to end at 2/2 than to take the extra time and make the lap numbers accurate. Lets do that." that is just sad.
Stahp! Steam, stahp, what are you doing, stahp!
the shadow looks like a pinching crab monster