I just turned 35 and was diagnosed earlier this year. 100% relatable. It's absolutely comical to me how many times I hear these stories are they are virtually identical experiences I've had.
I turned 37 this year and was diagnosed with combined adhd on monday. I think I've masked and people pleased that much in my life that i dont think I've actually any idea who i am at this point.
I was mis diagnosed three times until last year I’m going to be 40. It breaks my heart to know I could have been helped earlier. Especially because my mom was a special Ed teacher ... and didn’t pick up on my condition. Imagine 😢 I was so confused for so long. I thought I was literally crazy
This is such an honest raw interview thankyou. 50 here, waiting on a long list for a diagnosis. My life & inward swirl of a brain FINALLY makes sense. I relate very much to a lot of what you are saying. Chaos has followed me through life even though I was more inward presenting as a kid due to very strict unloving parents- I look back & I masked from such a young age. I have scleroderma, colitus & other health conditions & feel strongly that these root from supression, people pleasing & being misunderstood. I look back & feel sad that it wasnt picked up (Teenage none supported single mum) Reached out many times for support over the years & because my kids were clean & fed we were bypassed. I was put on anxiety meds which caused depression. A spiral! Never mind the fact I forgot to eat, look after myself, lived in clutterville, was always late, forgot so much, life was soooo hard & exhausting & I was like a nervous tazmanian devil filled with utter shame. Only realised as menopause made me basically unravel & I could no longer mask. TBH was also masking illness for 7 years to be able to work & it all got too much. The bionic reading REALLY helps. One positive thing is: Starting to have raw conversations, being true to myself, got rid of the abusers that loved my lack of self & have listening to my self. No more masking!
I want to cry reading this. 42f, peri-menopausal, and I feel like I'm headed to the psych ward...all of these things are like reading my story, exactly. I've been told I'm healthy by so many Dr's I'd started to believe them. Only recently started noticing my similarities with adhd. I don't know who to turn to, still, but it's starting to feel like there may be relief, at least a little, out there... Thank uou ❤
@@amber76OH Hi Amber, It is quite a realisation isnt it? It makes things finally click. I started with my GP, then a phyciatrist & now in a long waiting list. The free resources available on social media have been a life saver.... There are many! Almost spoilt for choice currently. We are not alone any longer. Good luck- It sounds as though you are now you are on the right path. x
I just recently been diagnosed with adhd and I actually brought it up to my therapist attention after watching self help videos. It’s changed my view on my life so much. Recently diagnosed at 35. ADHD for women is beautifully different experience 🖤
I’m in the process of waiting for an assessment for an adhd diagnosis and one of the traits that a lot of the guests on this podcast/channel have in common is that they can’t read books. I absolutely love books and could get through 2-3 books a day during my teenage years and early twenties. Of course, that meant I was severely distracted from my homework/coursework…sometimes my family. Does anyone else relate?
It’s common to have a mix of ADHD and autistic traits. The reading can be part of autistic hyper focus. I think hyper focus also happens with ADHD but it’s about not being able to focus on the things that don’t interest us. It’s different for each person.
Her comments about meds "not working" now are so common yet a real problem. Meds, especially stimulant meds do not work more with a higher dose. That's fallacy. Her 18mg dose was titration. It has no - absolutely zero - impact on ADHD symptoms others than the placebo effects and ensuring she's not st risk of heart or BP issues. The dose she's on now is a working dose. But she's referring to the placebo feeling for what what she expects meds to do. A good prescriber will take the gap between what she's feeling now and what she thought they did and will prescribes dose that gets as close as possible. But, this is a perfect example of why the NICE guidelines for adults is a multi modal approach. Pills and skills. Mentoring (cough cough), coaching, counselling etc. Pills alone won't make all the symptoms of ADHD easier. They are designed to help us focus and concentrate. No more. But, they have secondary effects on other parts of our brains, like emotions, and that why we need to invest in other techniques to learn what that feels like.
Thank you for mentioning periods, I had a look into it. I was diagnosed 2 days ago at the age of 40 and my cycle has always played *havoc* on (what I now know are) my ADHD symptoms. This seems to be the missing puzzle piece I needed ❤
I can relate on so many of these points, Just feeling so lost since childhood then realizing what it was, being able to put a name to it, my world changed thank you so much for this podcast absolutely brilliant
Yup my experience of adhd. But not same life experience 😂😂 I have finished many books, as a good escape & end up neglecting my work or homework when I was younger because I was reading a fantasy book.
Awesome channel this Alex! I love all the episodes I’ve watched so far, for different reasons. But the common denominator in all of them, is that it gives me the words/language so I can better articulate how I’m feeling or how I’ve felt. Keep up the great work buddy.
Shareefa is hilarious and so much fun! Great discussion! I love her positive outlook and yours, too, Alex. ADHD is damn tough. I wasn't diagnosed till age 49. By that age you have years of negative judgments from most of the people in your life, incomplete projects, missed appointments, etc. Well, you know. Really good conversation about that, too. Thank you! ❤
A lot of children with ADHD will get in trouble- I would fight guys to help with that need to release the energy. When life got rough as a child ( sickness linked to poverty, bullying, pressures of surviving the education system, etc).
51 just filled out a questionnaire..Sent it back to my GPS ( 3 months later lol ) after losing the first form 😂 Been told two year waiting list min :-/
So enjoyed this interview. Hugs ❤ and thanks for the lightness. I found my brother 4 yrs ago. We are 5 wks apart. Messy family too. I'm glad you found him ❤
I resinate with a lot but can you speak to a woman who has inattentive adhd who has masked her way through life as I feel that the inattentive type is massivley overlooked ❤
I was risk averse and although impulsive it was more emotional disregulation, sensory sensitivity and executive functions that were my issues. Time blindness, lack of planning, and organisational skills complex maths disabilities also made things hard
I can really relate to a lot of this … also Audible ❤❤❤ gamechanger .. sometimes I use it as a body double while I’m doing other things .. the things I’ve been procrastinating on 👀😂
I miss reading, have loads of audiobooks, kindle books and paper books. Till 10 years ago l could read loads. Also might explain why my bookworm adhder is struggling loads to finish books. At 44 realising am ADHD cause 14 year old is being referred for a diagnosis, is mad, but such is life😮. I have Fibromyalgia
I stopped the video on the moment when Shareefa was talking about her job career and realised that I have the exact same situation right now, I lost my job because it took my a lot of time to make me easy graphics designs or art for the projects, and now I have trouble to find a job as an artist having always in the back of my head this sentence that I spoiled a good start for my art career. Right now I have trouble to find any similar job and are on the edge to decide to go for any job to only get a diagnosis for ADHD cuz I noticed that I have a lot of unpleasent situtaions in diffrent jobs and non-profit project before.. that I started wondering if there's something wrong with mem that I don't learn from my mistakes, or I'm just fucking stupid or what....and after talking to some friends and other people they asked me if I have ADHD, because that could be the case. I also have a question to you guys, after diagnosis, do you tell at a recruitment interview or your boss [if you already have a job] that you have ADHD? I got a lot of advices from my family, friends etc. that I shouldn't tell at work that I have any problems cuz they always will take advantage of it.
Sometimes you’re damned if you do or damned if you don’t. If you are going to disclose and ask for accommodations you need to have a strong advocate to go into battle for you and an understanding supervisor otherwise it’s very difficult. Trust me I know from lots of experience sadly. I ended up on disability support and left the workforce completely years ago because of it.
I'm in book groups and Iv seen a few adhd people comment that reading dyslexic font on kindle helps to keep focused, so I don't know if thats worth taking a look at to see if it helps with being able to read.
As Women we are under represented in the ADHD community, Medical world etc that’s all true but do us ladies have the power to come together overhaul and change that, I wonder
There's an interference noise all throughout the video whenever a microphone gate is activated. Sounds like a grounding issue :( wasn't able to watch because it was annoying me that much. Anyone else noticed the same?
Heck, Alex, my ADHD version includes Spatial OCD hahaha. All previous videos I have seen in this series have you on the right side of the screen and this one has you on the left. Arghhhhh.
She looks absolutely beautiful!!! Your unsolicited/negative opinion is the last thing we need on a channel where people are serial overthinkers and sensitive to criticism ... 🙄 Please go away and come back when you have something meaningful to share.
@@KeeshaJ Her clothing is distracting. It makes it more difficult to pay attention to her message. People often will dismiss what a person says when they are dressed inappropriately. Those are simply objective facts that every public speaker should weigh before dressing for any occasion. I consider what I wrote to be a caution, not negative message. Inexperienced people need to be aware of the unspoken impression they convey. This is useful information for those who want to up their game. As for sensitivity, people who are so sensitive that they can't handle neutral feedback shouldn't put themselves in the public eye.
@curiousone6129 A few parts of your explanation to me were good examples of constructive criticism and would have been a much better comment than your original one. Maybe where she wants to speak are only those places that allow her to show up as herself 100%. She's seems to be reaching exactly who she needs to reach! I love that people don't have to suit up to be respected or heard. It's unfortunate that criticism was your only feedback to what was such a great discussion. That says more about you than you may realize.
@@KeeshaJ What it says about me is that I say what I mean. I also like to give the person I'm addressing the compliment of assuming they are smart enough to understand why my comments are appropriate. It helps to keep a sense of humor. I suspect if this speaker restricts their audience to only people who don't mind her ignoring conventional rules of conduct or dress in order to "be herself", that the audience would be rather small. Adhereing to at least the minimum rules shows quickly that she knows how to play the "game". This generates a kind of respect for the speaker and is a shorthand way of communicating respect for the audience. Whether we like it or not, the way society works, looks and presentation do still matter. If that kind of mild constructive criticism hurts her feelings, she's playing in the wrong league.
I just turned 35 and was diagnosed earlier this year. 100% relatable. It's absolutely comical to me how many times I hear these stories are they are virtually identical experiences I've had.
Stary how similar they are, right?!
Tears. So many tears. Im the American version of you. Thank you for giving me hope....but i grew up in the 70's. So lonely and misunderstood.
I hear you. I can relate. Just diagnosed last week.
I turned 37 this year and was diagnosed with combined adhd on monday. I think I've masked and people pleased that much in my life that i dont think I've actually any idea who i am at this point.
Same! Going to seak a diagnosis soon. I hope it will alleviate my suffering.
I was mis diagnosed three times until last year I’m going to be 40. It breaks my heart to know I could have been helped earlier. Especially because my mom was a special Ed teacher ... and didn’t pick up on my condition. Imagine 😢 I was so confused for so long. I thought I was literally crazy
This is such an honest raw interview thankyou.
50 here, waiting on a long list for a diagnosis.
My life & inward swirl of a brain FINALLY makes sense. I relate very much to a lot of what you are saying. Chaos has followed me through life even though I was more inward presenting as a kid due to very strict unloving parents-
I look back & I masked from such a young age.
I have scleroderma, colitus & other health conditions & feel strongly that these root from supression, people pleasing & being misunderstood.
I look back & feel sad that it wasnt picked up (Teenage none supported single mum)
Reached out many times for support over the years & because my kids were clean & fed we were bypassed. I was put on anxiety meds which caused depression. A spiral!
Never mind the fact I forgot to eat, look after myself, lived in clutterville, was always late, forgot so much, life was soooo hard & exhausting & I was like a nervous tazmanian devil filled with utter shame.
Only realised as menopause made me basically unravel & I could no longer mask. TBH was also masking illness for 7 years to be able to work & it all got too much.
The bionic reading REALLY helps.
One positive thing is: Starting to have raw conversations, being true to myself, got rid of the abusers that loved my lack of self & have listening to my self. No more masking!
You’re not alone ❤ I’m 57 and have just been referred by my doctor too
@@bringitbex That is another good thing about realising. The realisation that there are many of us & we arent alone ❤
You're definitely not alone x
I want to cry reading this. 42f, peri-menopausal, and I feel like I'm headed to the psych ward...all of these things are like reading my story, exactly. I've been told I'm healthy by so many Dr's I'd started to believe them. Only recently started noticing my similarities with adhd. I don't know who to turn to, still, but it's starting to feel like there may be relief, at least a little, out there...
Thank uou ❤
@@amber76OH Hi Amber, It is quite a realisation isnt it? It makes things finally click. I started with my GP, then a phyciatrist & now in a long waiting list. The free resources available on social media have been a life saver.... There are many! Almost spoilt for choice currently. We are not alone any longer. Good luck- It sounds as though you are now you are on the right path. x
WONDERFUL!!! And for me as ADHD audience member, this FLOWED, no matter the level of editing - loved, loved Shareefa! So relatable!
That's so lovely to hear. Thank you!
I just recently been diagnosed with adhd and I actually brought it up to my therapist attention after watching self help videos. It’s changed my view on my life so much. Recently diagnosed at 35. ADHD for women is beautifully different experience 🖤
I’m in the process of waiting for an assessment for an adhd diagnosis and one of the traits that a lot of the guests on this podcast/channel have in common is that they can’t read books. I absolutely love books and could get through 2-3 books a day during my teenage years and early twenties. Of course, that meant I was severely distracted from my homework/coursework…sometimes my family. Does anyone else relate?
Same here but only until my early 20s, im 35 now and have to reread same paragraph multiple times so just gave up..
It’s common to have a mix of ADHD and autistic traits. The reading can be part of autistic hyper focus. I think hyper focus also happens with ADHD but it’s about not being able to focus on the things that don’t interest us. It’s different for each person.
hi! I can relate, I tend to get lost in my books and lose track of time, then realize i ve not eaten, and its now dark outside 😂😂
I CANNOT finish a book let alone start one ! I LOVE AUDIBLE ❤
Wonderful isn’t it. I bet it was invented by someone neurodivergent like google maps was
I have three book cases of books l want to read but can hardly settle down the mind to read one
Her comments about meds "not working" now are so common yet a real problem.
Meds, especially stimulant meds do not work more with a higher dose. That's fallacy.
Her 18mg dose was titration. It has no - absolutely zero - impact on ADHD symptoms others than the placebo effects and ensuring she's not st risk of heart or BP issues.
The dose she's on now is a working dose.
But she's referring to the placebo feeling for what what she expects meds to do.
A good prescriber will take the gap between what she's feeling now and what she thought they did and will prescribes dose that gets as close as possible.
But, this is a perfect example of why the NICE guidelines for adults is a multi modal approach.
Pills and skills.
Mentoring (cough cough), coaching, counselling etc.
Pills alone won't make all the symptoms of ADHD easier.
They are designed to help us focus and concentrate. No more.
But, they have secondary effects on other parts of our brains, like emotions, and that why we need to invest in other techniques to learn what that feels like.
MORE POC YESYES SO HAPPY THANK YOU !!
You're failing MLK Jr. With your racism
Weird i can hyper focus on a book and read it within a couple of days !
I used to do this as teen. Now I can do it with audio books!
I'm the same....we are all different us adhders
This has got to be my favourite interview so far I absolutely LOVE Shareefa , funny , kind, knowledgeable and relatable 🙌
Thank you for mentioning periods, I had a look into it. I was diagnosed 2 days ago at the age of 40 and my cycle has always played *havoc* on (what I now know are) my ADHD symptoms. This seems to be the missing puzzle piece I needed ❤
I can relate on so many of these points, Just feeling so lost since childhood then realizing what it was, being able to put a name to it, my world changed thank you so much for this podcast absolutely brilliant
Yup my experience of adhd. But not same life experience
😂😂 I have finished many books, as a good escape & end up neglecting my work or homework when I was younger because I was reading a fantasy book.
My escape was video games and playing outside with friends.
This was me. I’d read all night and be a zombie at school
Yes, this is me!
Awesome channel this Alex! I love all the episodes I’ve watched so far, for different reasons. But the common denominator in all of them, is that it gives me the words/language so I can better articulate how I’m feeling or how I’ve felt. Keep up the great work buddy.
Glad you like them!
Invite her back, invite her back, and her brother, please please please!
Shareefa is hilarious and so much fun! Great discussion! I love her positive outlook and yours, too, Alex. ADHD is damn tough. I wasn't diagnosed till age 49. By that age you have years of negative judgments from most of the people in your life, incomplete projects, missed appointments, etc. Well, you know. Really good conversation about that, too. Thank you! ❤
This was such a timely interview for me. Everything makes so much sense for me. I wish I knew this earlier 😢
Shareefa life is very similar to mine , late diagnosis at 49, fantastic podcast, thank you
Happy for you. You deserve it. All your good +ve energy channelled well.
Wish it had been better recognized back in the day....
A lot of children with ADHD will get in trouble- I would fight guys to help with that need to release the energy. When life got rough as a child ( sickness linked to poverty, bullying, pressures of surviving the education system, etc).
51 just filled out a questionnaire..Sent it back to my GPS ( 3 months later lol ) after losing the first form 😂 Been told two year waiting list min :-/
So enjoyed this interview. Hugs ❤ and thanks for the lightness.
I found my brother 4 yrs ago. We are 5 wks apart. Messy family too. I'm glad you found him ❤
Shareefa's story really resonates with me...thank you for sharing 🙏❤
So glad!
I resinate with a lot but can you speak to a woman who has inattentive adhd who has masked her way through life as I feel that the inattentive type is massivley overlooked ❤
I’m a combined type so I was the quiet one who was conscientious in class who flew under the radar. My hyperactive traits were internalised.
I was risk averse and although impulsive it was more emotional disregulation, sensory sensitivity and executive functions that were my issues. Time blindness, lack of planning, and organisational skills complex maths disabilities also made things hard
Time to go on a journey of self discovery to find out a new beginning welcome to the club
I can really relate to a lot of this … also Audible ❤❤❤ gamechanger .. sometimes I use it as a body double while I’m doing other things .. the things I’ve been procrastinating on 👀😂
Great tip!
This was fantastic!!
Such a good interview, I resonated a lot with the guest
I love her accent. Kind of peculiar
I love this. I love her. Thanks Alex. I’ll go look her up now.
So pleased to hear. Thank you!
I can read books all day, but i have to work so hard to stay focused, motivated, and organized. It should not be this hard to complete simple tasks.
This podcast is amazing
I miss reading, have loads of audiobooks, kindle books and paper books. Till 10 years ago l could read loads. Also might explain why my bookworm adhder is struggling loads to finish books. At 44 realising am ADHD cause 14 year old is being referred for a diagnosis, is mad, but such is life😮. I have Fibromyalgia
I stopped the video on the moment when Shareefa was talking about her job career and realised that I have the exact same situation right now, I lost my job because it took my a lot of time to make me easy graphics designs or art for the projects, and now I have trouble to find a job as an artist having always in the back of my head this sentence that I spoiled a good start for my art career. Right now I have trouble to find any similar job and are on the edge to decide to go for any job to only get a diagnosis for ADHD cuz I noticed that I have a lot of unpleasent situtaions in diffrent jobs and non-profit project before.. that I started wondering if there's something wrong with mem that I don't learn from my mistakes, or I'm just fucking stupid or what....and after talking to some friends and other people they asked me if I have ADHD, because that could be the case.
I also have a question to you guys, after diagnosis, do you tell at a recruitment interview or your boss [if you already have a job] that you have ADHD? I got a lot of advices from my family, friends etc. that I shouldn't tell at work that I have any problems cuz they always will take advantage of it.
Sometimes you’re damned if you do or damned if you don’t. If you are going to disclose and ask for accommodations you need to have a strong advocate to go into battle for you and an understanding supervisor otherwise it’s very difficult. Trust me I know from lots of experience sadly. I ended up on disability support and left the workforce completely years ago because of it.
Great interview like always 🙏
Thank you!
@@ADHD_Chatter_Podcast You welcome keep the hard work 🙌🙌
Omg I used to stick things in my ears and up my nose when I was a kid too !!
You were sensory seeking for the dopamine hit it gave you
Depression the musical. I'm game to go see that this weekend 😅
Great podcast! Thanks :)
I'm in book groups and Iv seen a few adhd people comment that reading dyslexic font on kindle helps to keep focused, so I don't know if thats worth taking a look at to see if it helps with being able to read.
She describing me....I've not be diagnosed yet but i think I'm ADHD.
Thank you! Great chat.
As Women we are under represented in the ADHD community, Medical world etc that’s all true but do us ladies have the power to come together overhaul and change that, I wonder
When you have ADHD, you get jealous of “normal” “boring” people. We envy your ability to just be.
There's an interference noise all throughout the video whenever a microphone gate is activated. Sounds like a grounding issue :( wasn't able to watch because it was annoying me that much. Anyone else noticed the same?
😂 no good to us with ADHD 😂
But no don't head a noise ?
Yes, I can hear it on my ear pods, but was vacuuming anyway while listening, so was ok 😂
I did notice only after reading this comment 😂
I have 6 or 8 books going at the same time... and not 1 of them are finished. 🤣
People hate when you laugh. They think you are irresponsible and inconsiderent...
I did the nose and ears thing .. beads and pen tops I mean WTF … my daughter did it too
Heck, Alex, my ADHD version includes Spatial OCD hahaha. All previous videos I have seen in this series have you on the right side of the screen and this one has you on the left. Arghhhhh.
I thought I was just very spontaneous
11 taking drugs ?!
Wtf ?
Darlin', please for your own sake, put a shirt on.
She looks absolutely beautiful!!!
Your unsolicited/negative opinion is the last thing we need on a channel where people are serial overthinkers and sensitive to criticism ... 🙄
Please go away and come back when you have something meaningful to share.
@@KeeshaJ Her clothing is distracting. It makes it more difficult to pay attention to her message.
People often will dismiss what a person says when they are dressed inappropriately.
Those are simply objective facts that every public speaker should weigh before dressing for any occasion.
I consider what I wrote to be a caution, not negative message. Inexperienced people need to be aware of the unspoken impression they convey. This is useful information for those who want to up their game.
As for sensitivity, people who are so sensitive that they can't handle neutral feedback shouldn't put themselves in the public eye.
@curiousone6129 A few parts of your explanation to me were good examples of constructive criticism and would have been a much better comment than your original one.
Maybe where she wants to speak are only those places that allow her to show up as herself 100%. She's seems to be reaching exactly who she needs to reach! I love that people don't have to suit up to be respected or heard.
It's unfortunate that criticism was your only feedback to what was such a great discussion. That says more about you than you may realize.
@@KeeshaJ What it says about me is that I say what I mean. I also like to give the person I'm addressing the compliment of assuming they are smart enough to understand why my comments are appropriate. It helps to keep a sense of humor.
I suspect if this speaker restricts their audience to only people who don't mind her ignoring conventional rules of conduct or dress in order to "be herself", that the audience would be rather small.
Adhereing to at least the minimum rules
shows quickly that she knows how to play the "game". This generates a kind of respect for the speaker and is a shorthand way of communicating respect for the audience. Whether we like it or not, the way society works, looks and presentation do still matter.
If that kind of mild constructive criticism hurts her feelings, she's playing in the wrong league.
By your own words it is the listener issue, isn't it?? Maybe consider not focussing so much on the attire ??