story 1: that doctor needs to be reported, they have no right to pressure someone to give an organ, not only is it unprofessional, it's extremely unethical.
Not sure what the rules are in Sweden, but that's very much not allowed in the US. I once argued with some crazy people online who thought that people were being forced to give organs and that hospitals are just looking at everyone who came in to see if they might be a good organ donor or had registered as one, then basically letting them die so they could get their organs. It was insane and couldn't be farther from reality.
@@Karamarika as someone that is from a medical-field oriented family, it IS big trouble in about anywhere if they catch you pressing a patient/donor. You will most probably lose your license if proven.
I mean, we only see the story how OP tells it. I dont think the doctor actually pressured OP, but just told the cold facts about OP's moms possibel death if not recieving a liver. It is not fair to assume there were any pressure from the medical staff from a story we got told by someone who was grately affected by it. But if there actually was any pressure happening then yes, BIG no no
The nerve of the siblings to come for OP when they're scaredy babies and won't go through with the surgery. No way I'd give a liver to a known alcoholic, parent or not.
I was told you cannot get on the list if you are a known alcoholic. - But someone can donate one to you personally. So if she cannot go on the list, why would OP take such a huge risk?
@@HappyNadia_Show did Selena gomez get a liver? Her friend that gave her the liver stopped talking to her because she wouldn't stop drinking and doing drugs after receiving the liver.
@@HappyNadia_S Yes, alcoholics can get livers from the transplant lost. There are strict guidelines for this in the united states and differ between transplant centers. However for a live donor donation, like this situation described by OP, does not require a person to be on a transplant list because it is a donation that is for a specific person. In the United States, this person described would not qualify for the transplant list and live donor would be the only option---though I doubt the donor would pass the behavioral health/psychosocial screen so I do not think a transplant would happen for this person. Ethically, even if the patient agreed, I doubt all the doctors involved in the process would agree to the procedure.
As a parent of 2 kids, I wouldn’t even ask for them to give me their liver. I love them so much and the thought of them being harmed or possibly worse would be more than my conscience could handle. I would rather die than risk my kids’ lives.
I feel the same way. My kiddo told me they would take care of me when I am debilitated by age, and I said, "no you will not!". I took care of a woman(my mother) whose attitude was, " you can start your life at 50, I will not go into a assisted living place because I will not be uncomfortable. " I would NEVER do this to my child.
I would gladly give my liver to my mother if she was sick at the hospital but I wouldn't do it for a mother like that , although I am sure my mother wouldn't want me to give my liver if I had a high chance of dying.
Story 3: Abuse isn't always right up front, they usually butter you up to make you feel like a million dollars then the minute they got their hooks into you, that's when they start their crap. OP isn't an idiot for falling into the false BS their STBX made them believe, I am glad she's divorcing the asshole and deserves so much better. I'll be thinking of OP 3 and hope her life just becomes better from now on.
I've been in a few Ab***ve situations myself, they just know the people who are more susceptible of falling for the shit. Once you get the right therapy and learn to set healthy boundaries, they magically fizzle out on their own.
@@MsDannyQyeah I struggle cause my dad and step mom instilled to me that I was not worthy of respect or had any value, no wonder I attract abusive types, anyone not beating/SAing me seems kind.
The thing about this is she’s right, she shouldn’t have to put all his needs first bc she provides for both of them. But here’s the thing, If OP was a man, society who claims to want equality, wouldn’t feel the same way. It’s still acceptable for a woman to live off a man & use his money as a provider how she wants but not a woman. Even women don’t feel like they should be providing for a man in the same way, they expect equality in that regard. While she’s right, I hope we remember this when OP is a man providing for his lazy wife.
Story 2, not the asshole. I got into a similar program at college due to ADHD, depression, anxiety, whatnot. I never ended up using the acceptions that were on my tailored plan, but god it eased the anxiety knowing I had a safety net just in case. Friend is definitely jealous.
Yes! I had very similar accommodations. I too have ADHD, depression, and anxiety and then later after I was out of college I found out I’m also autistic. I sometimes utilized the accommodations, especially extra time on tests and a quiet testing environment, but just having accommodations was a huge weight off me!
I think OPs friend was so depressed that she thought Op was using the system and wanted him to feel as a bad as she was, not because he had help because she didn’t put the effort into get help.
Story 1 my mother is exactly the same as ops mom just chose drugs over alcohol and her children so if I were asked if I could donate my liver it would be no, she spent all of her “good” years throwing her life away, abandoned her children, chose drugs and “friends” over her priorities. Even sold a house that could have eventually been given to us kids all at the resort of drugs. I was Sa’d twice because of her decisions, had things stolen from me, got into a physical fight with one of her friends when I was 16, down right no figure it out yourself like we had to. Now my grandma I would give all of the parts in my body if she needed them because she’s been the best mother I could have ever asked for.
Story 3: glad she went for divorce! I literally just listened to story of Abby Choi and now hearing about another ungrateful monsters made my blood boil. Story 2: that’s why mental illnesses are becoming worse. They’re still not taken seriously, they’re not being treated properly and soon enough. I’ve depression for for 17 years now and trust me, you’re not capable of performing well with such severe mental health issue. Some mental illness can cause permanent damage to the brain if not treated. So yes, the “friend” is an a-hole. I would say OP should ditch a person like this, but with mental illnesses it’s good to have someone around. It just depends if keeping her brings anything good to OP’s life.
Story 1: the fact a mother could hear there is even a CHANCE their child would pass away or suffer any complications from the donation and STILL want it tells me everything I need to know. I know for a fact (they’ve mentioned it just in case) that my parents would NEVER allow my sister or I to donate to them; no matter how much we’d beg. They’ve always said that something like that is saved for our own spouse, children, siblings etc if we need/so choose. Any good parent would rather let themselves suffer than know they somehow caused the suffering of their child.
Story 1: Happy OP is far away from that disaster, honestly I love that kind of life…own cabin, working from home, with my dogs…if mom was abusive and for years have constantly gone through the cycle of treatment and then alcoholism and then treatment, OP is right if the person in need of a liver is not taking steps to stop the habit and working on herself I don’t think it is right to give her another organ just for her to destroy it within just few years…hope the other siblings don’t get duped and really just let their mom go through with it and set a boundary that if she has destroyed her own life they will not standby her destroying any of theirs…she dealt with her cards and did it so utterly bad that she really deserves whatever she is getting (cruel but I don’t trust people who abuse their children)
I had a boyfriend/fiance for almost four years. He was unemployed 3 times during that period. We lived together nearly 1.5 of that time. The only times I was unemployed was the first month of living with him and then for another three months while I did all the necessary grunt work in order for him to purchase his house. He almost broke up with me during that period. While I worked and he stayed home, I still did all the cooking, shopping, and cleaning while he played video games all day. I finally ended it in April 2020 and we lived together until my daughter finished the school year. The last straw for me was him asking women on Instagram if he could be their sugar daddy. HE WAS UNEMPLOYED.
Story 1: I have a relative who needed a liver transplant due to lifelong excessive drinking/alcoholism and they wouldn’t perform surgery on him until he was 1 year sober. He actually made it to that 1 year mark, we were very proud of him and it was like we got him back after not seeing him in years. He was his “normal” self again. Unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be, he died before his surgery date due to esophageal issues. Basically his esophagus was so damaged from drinking that it just crumbled, fell apart and he bled out from every orifice of his body. Pumping blood into his was useless, it was coming out faster than they could put it in.. and in fact the only thing they could do at that point was to plug all his bodily openings such as ears, nose.. etc. It didn’t take long before he slipped into a coma and we had to give permission to pull the plug so to speak. He was sober for a solid year but his lifestyle caught up with him and it was simply too late.
I had a strike permanently disable me. Cancer 3 years later. People have actually said "i wouldn't mind being you" Don't pull the cancer card!" And my favorite "you look 🙂 fine" invisible disability is awful. I don't even talk about my issues much. It clearly alienates people and they look skeptical. Sigh. Thank goodness I have online resources. And so.e IRL of course lol. I guess just be kind to people. You can't see what they are going through every time
Women have got to stop letting man babies pretend to be the head of the house. Even if a man is the sole one working outside the home he doesn't get to control his spouse, but you ain't got no job and saying you'll LET me spend my hard earned coin?? The Devil is a liar!!
Story 2 - Damn she needs new friends. The fact that the other friends also though she was being selfish for taking part in this program, WTF... That's not real friends, that's jealousy. They want what she has, the extra help. If they get it too then they'll be on her side and if not then she needs to drop out is the vibe they're giving. I'm starting to think her anxiety will get a hell of a lot better if she leaves these people. For someone with anxiety she needs to be surrounded with better people. Glad she left that friend but she needs to do the same with the others too. This just shows they legit don't give a damn about her mental health. If one day something happens they won't be there for her, it's better she cuts lose now and be surrounded by real friends.
Story 2: So basically the "friend" raised a big stink acting like OP was doing something wrong and taking away from people with "worse" disabilities and turns out it was purely because she's jealous because SHE'S not the one getting special treatment because she's not eligible. F that "friend".
Story 1: Most organ transplant receivers only live about 4 years after the transplant, while a donor is likely to have life long health issues as well as a shortened life span. Donating an organ is insanity. If I had a child I would never allow them to do this for me. Healthy people who do this have no idea what they are signing up for.
That is not the case for liver transplants. If you survive the first year, then likelihood you will have a relatively normal lifespan (10+) depending on your medical history & lifestyle.
For the liver question: mom no, dad yes, although my dad would never accept it from me. My dad is awesome and has done so much for me that I could never thank him enough or show the level of appreciation I have. My mom, on the other hand, is very similar to the mom in story 1. She hurt me countless times and refuses to admit to anything except for minor mistakes. She constantly tries to gaslight and say that certain events didn't happen or will downplay them significantly. If she does ask for my liver, my answer is gonna be Hell No. I've been in therapy for 4 years because of her, and she hasn't contributed to a dime of it.
I'm sorry to hear. My dad was abusive and made me suffer greatly. It is years later and he claims to not remember any of the abuse I suffered... I feel like these people never really grow sadly. At least you have an alive parent who is not horrible, my mom died when I was a kid and that is when the abuse first began with my dad tbh. Wishing you luck!😊
I think the friend of the OP who was using the accommodations was just jealous that she couldn't use them since she didn't have anything from a doctor saying she has depression. And honestly, I have a learning disability and used my accommodations all the time during school and felt a bit guilty because I really didnt need them. It was just nice to have. I got longer testing periods, my own testing area, and a few other things. Most of the time I'd finish early and having a separate area to test was nice because I fidget like crazy when I'm nervous. Yeah there's probably someone out there who probably needs it more than me, but it's being offered so I use it. 🤷🏾♀️
The fact that you're able to finish early when you use your accomodations probably shows how much you do need them. Just because other people may have a worse situation or need accomdations "more" than you doesn't mean you don't need them or shouldn't have them. I'm glad you got your accomodations and make good use of them. Good luck to you!
Story 2: I chose to take less classes for both mental and physical health. I take summer classes to help with the difference but it certainly does help. It may take longer to graduate but it’s needed.
S1 I got locked out overnight in the Canadian winter and it took until my 40s to realize how screwed that was. (Dumbdoodle cow forgot to lock the camper so there were blankets) being locked out in Sweden is no joke, it's cold af there
1. No I wouldn't. She's an alcoholic, part of why I have PTSD, and I feel like she tended to favor my sister inside the home and allowed my sibling to verbally hurt me, and top off why would I when ik I don't want to.
I have BPD and severe anxiety. When I am doing good for a while and going to therapy...... makes people automatically think that I am fixed, I have much more going on than just panic attacks but anxiety can be really debilitating. Many people don't believe that or understand that for some people a taste of stability takes constant commitment and work through therapy. Op is doing the right thing, listen to your doctors and really your therapist
Omg OP RUN!! Run far and fast!! 14:48 omg the update... if OP somehow sees this one day... honey you are so not dumb, crazy, or anything along those lines. Some people just have a harder time seeing those red flags and sometimes those people waving those red flags are REALLY good at covering them up/hiding them! I'm so glad you get to do you now and I know that things will be much better from here on out. Maybe one day your partner will grown up but that's on him not you!! 16:56
Story 1: I'm adopted. I know my bio-mom. I recently severed all ties with her. I would not share my liver with her, even if it was possible. My adoptive mom, IF I was a match& healthier than I am now. I would give her my liver. Story2: I haven't finished it. I just want to point out that first of all these friends don't know what OP could be battling on the inside. Not all disabilities are obvious& just because OP is fine now. Doesn't mean they can't take a turn for the worse& fall back on responsibilities
Story 1 No I would not give my liver to either of my parents. Pretty sure both would refuse. My father is a terrible person but not terrible enough to want me to risk dying. My mother is a wonderful person and has told us multiple times that if she is dying not to treat her and to just spend time with her in her last days.
Story 1: Sounded similar to what happened to me. I am adopted. I have wonderful parents. When I was 18, my biological mother came back into the picture and tried to get to know me over the phone. This complete stranger had the balls to ask for my liver since hers was ruined with hep c. I told her a fat hell no and never spoke to that woman again. I am 💯% on that OP's side with his decision. Just because you are blood related, doesn't make them family.
Story 2: Like any disability, there are levels to it…OP does sound like a valid reason to apply for disability…if her friend wants to get the same “perks” (i put it in quotes because really i don’t think they are perks if its to accommodate your disability i just can’t find the right word to use) then the friend should have applied for it too…OP applied and got it fair and square with the approval of a licensed professional…which also gives a level of objectivity in OP’s qualifications making it more valid to get those “perks” …I don’t think the friend is a true friend…who gets jealous over said “perks”, its not exactly perks when it is just leveling the learning plane to accommodate everyone including the disadvantage
I grew up in foster care. Met my parents as adults and hate them inside and out. I would never even think twice about not giving them any part of anything they need. They made sure i suffered in my childhood. I owe them nothing. Verdict. My parents would be dead fast too! Nope nope nope. Did it to yourself!
My father died of non-alcoholic liver failure. If we could've we would've but he never would've survived regardless. This woman destroyed her liver, she needs to make her peace.
Both of my parents are alcoholics. I don't speak to my dad, I do speak to my mom. I would still not give her part of my liver. She hasn't been able to stop smoking in the 30 years she's been telling me she will, and I don't have any faith that she'd stop drinking either. I love my mom. I don't want her to die. But she also made the choices she made and the consequences of those choices are hers to bear. Even if I didn't have kids and a husband.
Situs invertus is exceedingly rare, and it does increase the risk of complications… because The surgeon is basically having to do everything backwards. It’s complicated. Additionally, I’m gonna get to her family in a minute, but first I got some shit to say about that doctor. When we are talking about live organ donation- and it is DONATION, not pressured, not requirement, DONATION - The only thing that a doctor is supposed to do my
Story 1 If my mom was abusive, no I am going to keep my liver. Being a mom doesn't mean you owe them anything. Story 2 I would tell her to shove it. They aren't their friends. If they didn't think you need it, they wouldn't give it to them. Story 3 She's married to a child pretty much. I am glad she's leaving him.
Story 2: nta. it's just like seeing vehicles with handicap placards. Many people have illnesses that others can't see. So how dare a person with no outward showing disability be able to park in spots that are more convenient than others.
Story 2 - OP is NTA! I have a friend who has done research on this topic, and it's amazing how often people with disabilities get told all this horrible s***, such as OP's "friend" has spewing, "you're just lazy" "you're just exaggerating" "you don't really need it" "you don't really deserve it" "since you've managed this long without it, obviously you don't need it." OP's needs have been determined by the people who run the program to fit their services. It's *really* not up to OP's "friend." Also, a real friend would be happy that OP is getting support that makes their life work better. Does OP's "friend" go around kicking people's crutches out of their hands, too? How about people's glasses? Maybe "friend" thinks people are just exaggerating about the condition of their eyesight. Who me? No, I don't have *any* strong feelings about this at all. Why do you ask?
For the Disability Services Program story... The accommodations are working for OP, which is why the program exists. I'm disabled and going through enrollment to college right now. It's so stressful and it causes so many more flare ups. If you don't see us on our bad days, you don't see us as disabled.... But we're only able to function because we have those days off built in so we can hide away when we know we won't be able to put on a happy face. Like I'm glad I'm not bringing you down all the time but also, I try really hard to recognize when I will so I can keep away.
Yeah would totally donate a kidney or liver to one of my parents. They both live healthy and gave me a stable, loving childhood and support me to this day. I'm pregnant and my mom offered to take care of the baby for free one day a week, she is even creating a baby room in their house. If the risk of dying or complications was small, no doubt, I would donate.
For the liver, I personally wouldn’t give my mother my liver if I had the chance to considering she wasn’t a good mother by any means to me or any of my older brothers and sisters. I’m the youngest of 6 kids, and my oldest brother and my oldest sister had to practically look after us when they where kids themselves, along with quite the lot of help from grandparents when we all eventually left my mother’s home. I’m nearly in my last year of secondary school, and I have kept as little contact with her as I can, all of my older brothers and sisters don’t contact her either, they’re mostly busy with work and their own lives so I don’t see them much either, but I’m pretty sure even if when any of us had the option to, we wouldn’t see her anyway.
If it was a high risk of my life, no way my parents would want me to give them my liver. Not even my dad who’s been a dead beat all my life. No way, no how.
I would give my parents part of my liver, at the drop of a hat. My parents are wonderful and I love them so much. I would do anything to keep them alive.
If my mom was dying of liver issues I would give mine to her to help her. If my dad was then he could continue to. Neither of my parents are alcoholics but my dad doesn’t deserve saving
If you cannot handle the structure and the stresses of college without special accommodations then what makes you think you're going to be able to handle the stresses and structures of the working world without them. Most employers will not be accommodating to that
Asking about my family personally? Nah. One of my parents absolutely not, they don't deserve crap from me. The other one has a better chance but probably still no. They've taken enough.
I would offer my parents, but they also would NEVER ask it of me. I could probably convince my mom if it happened (knock on wood) only because my mom is you (she was a teen mom), but if I tried for my dad, who is quite a bit older then my mom (he is a Vietnam vet, a former marine), my dad would be the first to be as harsh as necessary to make sure I don’t put myself at risk.
I would give either of my parents my liver. I have had rough issues with them before, but we worked through it and grew together. They've loved and supported me all my life and are doing fostercare to provide a loving family to kids who want one. If either of them needed my liver, I would gladly donate to save them, even if I had a high chance of getting messed up from it. Hell, it would be a battle between me and my brothers on who would donate because all 3 of us would donate.
Why is having a child suddenly a "get out of problems" free card ? Just because a person doesnt have a child doesnt mean they deserve less or deserve to give up their lives or happiness for someone else like seriously. I have a child and my closest friend is child free and the double standard is really frustrating , like having a child doesnt mean someone is less important or has less accountability
So the best thing about the liver is that it will grow back so you don't have to give the entire thing, but I do see this as an enabling situation. If you know you live in a bad area and there's a ton of car jackings, would you leave your BMW with the windows down and the keys in it? At some point the family member is going to ask for another transplant or violate other boundaries. Also parent of 3 and I can't imagine asking one of mine to go under the knife for me, especially when the issue is one that I created.
My father died of liver and kidney failure non alcoholic. His was basically caused by heart medication. I offered mine i was a great match no dr. Would do it due to his age 83. I miss my dad every day
Yes I would my dad died when I was 9 so my mom is the only thing I got. I’d risk my life any day to make sure she is there for me for as long as possible ❤
Absolutely not. Why waste an organ to continue the life of someone older that’s already lived and lower my quality? Not to mention how many humans we already have on this planet and combining that with our large life spans.
Story 1. I would give any organ to my parents. However my parents don’t drink. I am 58 at this point in my life if they can find a good organ that I have ruined, my folks can have it ! Story 2. Long live the ADA !!! Not the A hole at all !!!
I would have told my mother, her doctors, and my brother to all take a long walk off a short bridge. Ain’t no dang way after all she put me through. After the first phone call everyone would have been immediately blocked.
For the last story NTAH she is making money and I don't think it's agreed that she should be the only bread winner. And it was HER bonus, so he should have tried to get the ok before he went and got the chair and the other thing.
First, its nit luver cancer, its cirrhosis of the liver (due to drinking). Second, no doctor will pressure a person. They will even deny a match if the person requests it. All you have to do is tell them you do t want to and they list you as incompatible. I know because I went thrpugh this for a sil who was in the same position.
I hate to say it, but I probably wouldn't give my mom my liver. She has a lot of health issues currently other than a liver. Besides, I don't think my mom would WANT me to risk my life for hers. She loves her kids more than life itself, so it would be hard for me to even see her asking us to risk something like that. I'm also a child free but my mom adores spoiling her grand-puppies just as much as my siblings' kids.
My mom and I haven't had the best of relationships but she is still my mom. She doesn't drink or smoke and is at times considered a good Christian woman. I know loves and favors my mom and honestly... I can't and don't want to imagine life without my mom here. Of course she can have my liver... Goodness knows the choices are slim pickings considering I'm the only one who hasn't picked up alcohol drinking like it's water and I'm a fish... I'd probably be one of her best bets.
My mum was a kind, loving, wonderful person who would do anything for her kids, no matter the sacrifice. If she had needed a liver transplant and I was a match I would be on that operating table so fast your head would spin
I will not give them anything. They decided to shunned me (whole family) and haven’t speak to them in few years. I really don’t care. They abandoned me for being different , I won’t give them anything.
My opinion: I would personally donate every organ i could to my mom or dad because they were both and still are wonderful people who raised my right, unlike this disgusting mom who i hope she does not get a donor
I would give my liver to my dad, but if it were my mom, she has a few things she needs to do before I would even think about giving her a part of my body. Like understand how she abused me for 15 years and genuinely apologize, get professional help for her bpd and start being a good person
I would 100% give a piece of my liver to my mom, dad, or siblings. But I wasn't abused growing up and I actually like them making that it's an easy answer. If I was in OP's position, no... no I would NOT.
That is just funny. The idea is that if you get disability services, you take it away from people. I am severely disabled. Do you know how hard it is to get help? It is hard; everything in your life is checked off a fine toothcone to ensure you do not abuse it. More people using it is a great thing. The problem is that they can get more funding.
Story 1: when the mom said "You risked your life for a dog but won't do this for me?" I would have responded "Yeah because I like the dog"
I was going to say "cuz I love my dog, not you". 😂😂😂
Also, chances are, the dog isn't going to then drink itself to death, so...better return on investment!😂
story 1: that doctor needs to be reported, they have no right to pressure someone to give an organ, not only is it unprofessional, it's extremely unethical.
Agreed
Not sure what the rules are in Sweden, but that's very much not allowed in the US. I once argued with some crazy people online who thought that people were being forced to give organs and that hospitals are just looking at everyone who came in to see if they might be a good organ donor or had registered as one, then basically letting them die so they could get their organs. It was insane and couldn't be farther from reality.
@@Karamarika as someone that is from a medical-field oriented family, it IS big trouble in about anywhere if they catch you pressing a patient/donor. You will most probably lose your license if proven.
Especially when they know she's an alcoholic
I mean, we only see the story how OP tells it. I dont think the doctor actually pressured OP, but just told the cold facts about OP's moms possibel death if not recieving a liver. It is not fair to assume there were any pressure from the medical staff from a story we got told by someone who was grately affected by it. But if there actually was any pressure happening then yes, BIG no no
The nerve of the siblings to come for OP when they're scaredy babies and won't go through with the surgery. No way I'd give a liver to a known alcoholic, parent or not.
I was told you cannot get on the list if you are a known alcoholic. - But someone can donate one to you personally. So if she cannot go on the list, why would OP take such a huge risk?
@@HappyNadia_Show did Selena gomez get a liver? Her friend that gave her the liver stopped talking to her because she wouldn't stop drinking and doing drugs after receiving the liver.
@@user-mt6ye7qt8dshe had a kidney transplant not liver.
@jeannenies-donahoe6211 OK but still needed a donor lol
@@HappyNadia_S Yes, alcoholics can get livers from the transplant lost. There are strict guidelines for this in the united states and differ between transplant centers. However for a live donor donation, like this situation described by OP, does not require a person to be on a transplant list because it is a donation that is for a specific person. In the United States, this person described would not qualify for the transplant list and live donor would be the only option---though I doubt the donor would pass the behavioral health/psychosocial screen so I do not think a transplant would happen for this person. Ethically, even if the patient agreed, I doubt all the doctors involved in the process would agree to the procedure.
As a parent of 2 kids, I wouldn’t even ask for them to give me their liver. I love them so much and the thought of them being harmed or possibly worse would be more than my conscience could handle. I would rather die than risk my kids’ lives.
Same!
I feel the same way. My kiddo told me they would take care of me when I am debilitated by age, and I said, "no you will not!".
I took care of a woman(my mother) whose attitude was, " you can start your life at 50, I will not go into a assisted living place because I will not be uncomfortable. " I would NEVER do this to my child.
❤🥺
I would gladly give my liver to my mother if she was sick at the hospital but I wouldn't do it for a mother like that , although I am sure my mother wouldn't want me to give my liver if I had a high chance of dying.
This, exactly.
Wouldn't ask it of a loved one either if it had repercussions for them, especially if one was death.
Story 3: Abuse isn't always right up front, they usually butter you up to make you feel like a million dollars then the minute they got their hooks into you, that's when they start their crap. OP isn't an idiot for falling into the false BS their STBX made them believe, I am glad she's divorcing the asshole and deserves so much better. I'll be thinking of OP 3 and hope her life just becomes better from now on.
I've been in a few Ab***ve situations myself, they just know the people who are more susceptible of falling for the shit. Once you get the right therapy and learn to set healthy boundaries, they magically fizzle out on their own.
@@MsDannyQyeah I struggle cause my dad and step mom instilled to me that I was not worthy of respect or had any value, no wonder I attract abusive types, anyone not beating/SAing me seems kind.
The thing about this is she’s right, she shouldn’t have to put all his needs first bc she provides for both of them. But here’s the thing, If OP was a man, society who claims to want equality, wouldn’t feel the same way. It’s still acceptable for a woman to live off a man & use his money as a provider how she wants but not a woman. Even women don’t feel like they should be providing for a man in the same way, they expect equality in that regard.
While she’s right, I hope we remember this when OP is a man providing for his lazy wife.
Story 2, not the asshole. I got into a similar program at college due to ADHD, depression, anxiety, whatnot. I never ended up using the acceptions that were on my tailored plan, but god it eased the anxiety knowing I had a safety net just in case. Friend is definitely jealous.
Yes! I had very similar accommodations. I too have ADHD, depression, and anxiety and then later after I was out of college I found out I’m also autistic. I sometimes utilized the accommodations, especially extra time on tests and a quiet testing environment, but just having accommodations was a huge weight off me!
I think OPs friend was so depressed that she thought Op was using the system and wanted him to feel as a bad as she was, not because he had help because she didn’t put the effort into get help.
Story 1 my mother is exactly the same as ops mom just chose drugs over alcohol and her children so if I were asked if I could donate my liver it would be no, she spent all of her “good” years throwing her life away, abandoned her children, chose drugs and “friends” over her priorities. Even sold a house that could have eventually been given to us kids all at the resort of drugs. I was Sa’d twice because of her decisions, had things stolen from me, got into a physical fight with one of her friends when I was 16, down right no figure it out yourself like we had to. Now my grandma I would give all of the parts in my body if she needed them because she’s been the best mother I could have ever asked for.
Story 3: glad she went for divorce! I literally just listened to story of Abby Choi and now hearing about another ungrateful monsters made my blood boil.
Story 2: that’s why mental illnesses are becoming worse. They’re still not taken seriously, they’re not being treated properly and soon enough. I’ve depression for for 17 years now and trust me, you’re not capable of performing well with such severe mental health issue.
Some mental illness can cause permanent damage to the brain if not treated.
So yes, the “friend” is an a-hole. I would say OP should ditch a person like this, but with mental illnesses it’s good to have someone around. It just depends if keeping her brings anything good to OP’s life.
Story 1: the fact a mother could hear there is even a CHANCE their child would pass away or suffer any complications from the donation and STILL want it tells me everything I need to know.
I know for a fact (they’ve mentioned it just in case) that my parents would NEVER allow my sister or I to donate to them; no matter how much we’d beg.
They’ve always said that something like that is saved for our own spouse, children, siblings etc if we need/so choose.
Any good parent would rather let themselves suffer than know they somehow caused the suffering of their child.
Story 1: Happy OP is far away from that disaster, honestly I love that kind of life…own cabin, working from home, with my dogs…if mom was abusive and for years have constantly gone through the cycle of treatment and then alcoholism and then treatment, OP is right if the person in need of a liver is not taking steps to stop the habit and working on herself I don’t think it is right to give her another organ just for her to destroy it within just few years…hope the other siblings don’t get duped and really just let their mom go through with it and set a boundary that if she has destroyed her own life they will not standby her destroying any of theirs…she dealt with her cards and did it so utterly bad that she really deserves whatever she is getting (cruel but I don’t trust people who abuse their children)
I had a boyfriend/fiance for almost four years. He was unemployed 3 times during that period. We lived together nearly 1.5 of that time. The only times I was unemployed was the first month of living with him and then for another three months while I did all the necessary grunt work in order for him to purchase his house. He almost broke up with me during that period. While I worked and he stayed home, I still did all the cooking, shopping, and cleaning while he played video games all day. I finally ended it in April 2020 and we lived together until my daughter finished the school year. The last straw for me was him asking women on Instagram if he could be their sugar daddy. HE WAS UNEMPLOYED.
Story 1: I have a relative who needed a liver transplant due to lifelong excessive drinking/alcoholism and they wouldn’t perform surgery on him until he was 1 year sober. He actually made it to that 1 year mark, we were very proud of him and it was like we got him back after not seeing him in years. He was his “normal” self again. Unfortunately it wasn’t meant to be, he died before his surgery date due to esophageal issues. Basically his esophagus was so damaged from drinking that it just crumbled, fell apart and he bled out from every orifice of his body. Pumping blood into his was useless, it was coming out faster than they could put it in.. and in fact the only thing they could do at that point was to plug all his bodily openings such as ears, nose.. etc. It didn’t take long before he slipped into a coma and we had to give permission to pull the plug so to speak. He was sober for a solid year but his lifestyle caught up with him and it was simply too late.
I had a strike permanently disable me. Cancer 3 years later. People have actually said "i wouldn't mind being you" Don't pull the cancer card!" And my favorite "you look 🙂 fine" invisible disability is awful. I don't even talk about my issues much. It clearly alienates people and they look skeptical. Sigh. Thank goodness I have online resources. And so.e IRL of course lol. I guess just be kind to people. You can't see what they are going through every time
ugh the friend in the college sounds like my mother when i have a doctors appointment
Women have got to stop letting man babies pretend to be the head of the house. Even if a man is the sole one working outside the home he doesn't get to control his spouse, but you ain't got no job and saying you'll LET me spend my hard earned coin?? The Devil is a liar!!
Story 2 - Damn she needs new friends. The fact that the other friends also though she was being selfish for taking part in this program, WTF... That's not real friends, that's jealousy. They want what she has, the extra help. If they get it too then they'll be on her side and if not then she needs to drop out is the vibe they're giving. I'm starting to think her anxiety will get a hell of a lot better if she leaves these people. For someone with anxiety she needs to be surrounded with better people. Glad she left that friend but she needs to do the same with the others too. This just shows they legit don't give a damn about her mental health. If one day something happens they won't be there for her, it's better she cuts lose now and be surrounded by real friends.
Story 2: So basically the "friend" raised a big stink acting like OP was doing something wrong and taking away from people with "worse" disabilities and turns out it was purely because she's jealous because SHE'S not the one getting special treatment because she's not eligible. F that "friend".
Story 1: Most organ transplant receivers only live about 4 years after the transplant, while a donor is likely to have life long health issues as well as a shortened life span. Donating an organ is insanity. If I had a child I would never allow them to do this for me. Healthy people who do this have no idea what they are signing up for.
That is not the case for liver transplants. If you survive the first year, then likelihood you will have a relatively normal lifespan (10+) depending on your medical history & lifestyle.
I would donate to my mom. She's done so much for me and I would do anything to keep her around as long as I can.
Story 2. Dont go telling everyone all your business, even friends
For the liver question: mom no, dad yes, although my dad would never accept it from me. My dad is awesome and has done so much for me that I could never thank him enough or show the level of appreciation I have. My mom, on the other hand, is very similar to the mom in story 1. She hurt me countless times and refuses to admit to anything except for minor mistakes. She constantly tries to gaslight and say that certain events didn't happen or will downplay them significantly. If she does ask for my liver, my answer is gonna be Hell No. I've been in therapy for 4 years because of her, and she hasn't contributed to a dime of it.
I'm sorry to hear. My dad was abusive and made me suffer greatly. It is years later and he claims to not remember any of the abuse I suffered... I feel like these people never really grow sadly. At least you have an alive parent who is not horrible, my mom died when I was a kid and that is when the abuse first began with my dad tbh. Wishing you luck!😊
I think the friend of the OP who was using the accommodations was just jealous that she couldn't use them since she didn't have anything from a doctor saying she has depression.
And honestly, I have a learning disability and used my accommodations all the time during school and felt a bit guilty because I really didnt need them. It was just nice to have. I got longer testing periods, my own testing area, and a few other things. Most of the time I'd finish early and having a separate area to test was nice because I fidget like crazy when I'm nervous.
Yeah there's probably someone out there who probably needs it more than me, but it's being offered so I use it. 🤷🏾♀️
The fact that you're able to finish early when you use your accomodations probably shows how much you do need them. Just because other people may have a worse situation or need accomdations "more" than you doesn't mean you don't need them or shouldn't have them.
I'm glad you got your accomodations and make good use of them. Good luck to you!
A cozy cabin tucked away in the wilderness sounds amazing! ❤❤❤
The op in the first story has two whole siblings with lower risks
RIGHT
Story 2: I chose to take less classes for both mental and physical health. I take summer classes to help with the difference but it certainly does help. It may take longer to graduate but it’s needed.
As someone who drinks from time to time, I don’t want my kids to give me anything, I made choices, that is so selfish of his mother
S1 I got locked out overnight in the Canadian winter and it took until my 40s to realize how screwed that was. (Dumbdoodle cow forgot to lock the camper so there were blankets) being locked out in Sweden is no joke, it's cold af there
1. No I wouldn't. She's an alcoholic, part of why I have PTSD, and I feel like she tended to favor my sister inside the home and allowed my sibling to verbally hurt me, and top off why would I when ik I don't want to.
I have BPD and severe anxiety. When I am doing good for a while and going to therapy...... makes people automatically think that I am fixed, I have much more going on than just panic attacks but anxiety can be really debilitating. Many people don't believe that or understand that for some people a taste of stability takes constant commitment and work through therapy. Op is doing the right thing, listen to your doctors and really your therapist
Omg OP RUN!! Run far and fast!! 14:48 omg the update... if OP somehow sees this one day... honey you are so not dumb, crazy, or anything along those lines. Some people just have a harder time seeing those red flags and sometimes those people waving those red flags are REALLY good at covering them up/hiding them! I'm so glad you get to do you now and I know that things will be much better from here on out. Maybe one day your partner will grown up but that's on him not you!! 16:56
I am a parent. I have NEVER thought someone else's life is worth a greater risk because they don't have children. Unbelievable!
Story 1: I'm adopted. I know my bio-mom. I recently severed all ties with her. I would not share my liver with her, even if it was possible. My adoptive mom, IF I was a match& healthier than I am now. I would give her my liver.
Story2: I haven't finished it. I just want to point out that first of all these friends don't know what OP could be battling on the inside. Not all disabilities are obvious& just because OP is fine now. Doesn't mean they can't take a turn for the worse& fall back on responsibilities
Story 1 No I would not give my liver to either of my parents. Pretty sure both would refuse. My father is a terrible person but not terrible enough to want me to risk dying. My mother is a wonderful person and has told us multiple times that if she is dying not to treat her and to just spend time with her in her last days.
Story 1: Sounded similar to what happened to me. I am adopted. I have wonderful parents. When I was 18, my biological mother came back into the picture and tried to get to know me over the phone. This complete stranger had the balls to ask for my liver since hers was ruined with hep c. I told her a fat hell no and never spoke to that woman again.
I am 💯% on that OP's side with his decision. Just because you are blood related, doesn't make them family.
Story 2: Like any disability, there are levels to it…OP does sound like a valid reason to apply for disability…if her friend wants to get the same “perks” (i put it in quotes because really i don’t think they are perks if its to accommodate your disability i just can’t find the right word to use) then the friend should have applied for it too…OP applied and got it fair and square with the approval of a licensed professional…which also gives a level of objectivity in OP’s qualifications making it more valid to get those “perks” …I don’t think the friend is a true friend…who gets jealous over said “perks”, its not exactly perks when it is just leveling the learning plane to accommodate everyone including the disadvantage
story 1: wonderful example of Swedish coldness/coolness
It’s the audacity of the mother.
“B3-Liver, please!”
I grew up in foster care. Met my parents as adults and hate them inside and out. I would never even think twice about not giving them any part of anything they need. They made sure i suffered in my childhood. I owe them nothing. Verdict. My parents would be dead fast too! Nope nope nope. Did it to yourself!
My father died of non-alcoholic liver failure. If we could've we would've but he never would've survived regardless. This woman destroyed her liver, she needs to make her peace.
Both of my parents are alcoholics. I don't speak to my dad, I do speak to my mom. I would still not give her part of my liver. She hasn't been able to stop smoking in the 30 years she's been telling me she will, and I don't have any faith that she'd stop drinking either. I love my mom. I don't want her to die. But she also made the choices she made and the consequences of those choices are hers to bear. Even if I didn't have kids and a husband.
Situs invertus is exceedingly rare, and it does increase the risk of complications… because The surgeon is basically having to do everything backwards. It’s complicated.
Additionally, I’m gonna get to her family in a minute, but first I got some shit to say about that doctor. When we are talking about live organ donation- and it is DONATION, not pressured, not requirement, DONATION - The only thing that a doctor is supposed to do my
Story 1 If my mom was abusive, no I am going to keep my liver. Being a mom doesn't mean you owe them anything. Story 2 I would tell her to shove it. They aren't their friends. If they didn't think you need it, they wouldn't give it to them. Story 3 She's married to a child pretty much. I am glad she's leaving him.
Story 2: nta. it's just like seeing vehicles with handicap placards. Many people have illnesses that others can't see. So how dare a person with no outward showing disability be able to park in spots that are more convenient than others.
Story 1 yes I would give my parents a liver but if that lady was my parent no and I would have cussed her completely out
A fight over a computer didn't end op's marriage, the manipulative and spoiled behavior of the husband was the culprit.
Should have called it S1, cause she's the oldest of 3 siblings and female 😂
The "entitled" voice used sounds like Lola, from "Big Mouth", but even "Lola Ugfuglio Scumpy", would NOT give up a kidney for someone like THAT.
Story 2 - OP is NTA! I have a friend who has done research on this topic, and it's amazing how often people with disabilities get told all this horrible s***, such as OP's "friend" has spewing, "you're just lazy" "you're just exaggerating" "you don't really need it" "you don't really deserve it" "since you've managed this long without it, obviously you don't need it." OP's needs have been determined by the people who run the program to fit their services. It's *really* not up to OP's "friend."
Also, a real friend would be happy that OP is getting support that makes their life work better. Does OP's "friend" go around kicking people's crutches out of their hands, too? How about people's glasses? Maybe "friend" thinks people are just exaggerating about the condition of their eyesight.
Who me? No, I don't have *any* strong feelings about this at all. Why do you ask?
For the Disability Services Program story...
The accommodations are working for OP, which is why the program exists. I'm disabled and going through enrollment to college right now.
It's so stressful and it causes so many more flare ups. If you don't see us on our bad days, you don't see us as disabled.... But we're only able to function because we have those days off built in so we can hide away when we know we won't be able to put on a happy face. Like I'm glad I'm not bringing you down all the time but also, I try really hard to recognize when I will so I can keep away.
If that person was my mom, I absolutely would not. Would I give my liver to MY mother?
I would give her anything, even my whole liver
Yeah would totally donate a kidney or liver to one of my parents. They both live healthy and gave me a stable, loving childhood and support me to this day. I'm pregnant and my mom offered to take care of the baby for free one day a week, she is even creating a baby room in their house. If the risk of dying or complications was small, no doubt, I would donate.
Ouch. When I got my first promotion my husband said "yes! I can get my BMW!" Not congratulations or I'm proud, just greed!
For the liver, I personally wouldn’t give my mother my liver if I had the chance to considering she wasn’t a good mother by any means to me or any of my older brothers and sisters. I’m the youngest of 6 kids, and my oldest brother and my oldest sister had to practically look after us when they where kids themselves, along with quite the lot of help from grandparents when we all eventually left my mother’s home. I’m nearly in my last year of secondary school, and I have kept as little contact with her as I can, all of my older brothers and sisters don’t contact her either, they’re mostly busy with work and their own lives so I don’t see them much either, but I’m pretty sure even if when any of us had the option to, we wouldn’t see her anyway.
If it was a high risk of my life, no way my parents would want me to give them my liver. Not even my dad who’s been a dead beat all my life. No way, no how.
You know it's bad when you don't care if your parent dies.
I would give my parents part of my liver, at the drop of a hat. My parents are wonderful and I love them so much. I would do anything to keep them alive.
I’d give it to my mom in a heartbeat. I don’t need even a second to debate.
The OP that's husband stole her bonus...leave him please! You will be so happy!
If my mom was dying of liver issues I would give mine to her to help her. If my dad was then he could continue to. Neither of my parents are alcoholics but my dad doesn’t deserve saving
If you cannot handle the structure and the stresses of college without special accommodations then what makes you think you're going to be able to handle the stresses and structures of the working world without them. Most employers will not be accommodating to that
Asking about my family personally? Nah. One of my parents absolutely not, they don't deserve crap from me. The other one has a better chance but probably still no. They've taken enough.
I started following this account when it only had 22K followers, look at yall go
Almost at 100k! We’re so excited 😆
All I've learned is getting a prenup and let your crazy family out the gates
This is why I dont dream of marriage anymore. Arrest that man for buying a computer and then calling his wife a loser. Electric Chair
5:59 it’s not liver cancer, it’s liver failure
I would offer my parents, but they also would NEVER ask it of me. I could probably convince my mom if it happened (knock on wood) only because my mom is you (she was a teen mom), but if I tried for my dad, who is quite a bit older then my mom (he is a Vietnam vet, a former marine), my dad would be the first to be as harsh as necessary to make sure I don’t put myself at risk.
I would give either of my parents my liver. I have had rough issues with them before, but we worked through it and grew together. They've loved and supported me all my life and are doing fostercare to provide a loving family to kids who want one. If either of them needed my liver, I would gladly donate to save them, even if I had a high chance of getting messed up from it. Hell, it would be a battle between me and my brothers on who would donate because all 3 of us would donate.
Why is having a child suddenly a "get out of problems" free card ? Just because a person doesnt have a child doesnt mean they deserve less or deserve to give up their lives or happiness for someone else like seriously. I have a child and my closest friend is child free and the double standard is really frustrating , like having a child doesnt mean someone is less important or has less accountability
So the best thing about the liver is that it will grow back so you don't have to give the entire thing, but I do see this as an enabling situation. If you know you live in a bad area and there's a ton of car jackings, would you leave your BMW with the windows down and the keys in it? At some point the family member is going to ask for another transplant or violate other boundaries. Also parent of 3 and I can't imagine asking one of mine to go under the knife for me, especially when the issue is one that I created.
My father died of liver and kidney failure non alcoholic.
His was basically caused by heart medication.
I offered mine i was a great match no dr. Would do it due to his age 83.
I miss my dad every day
Give my liver to my mom, yes. Give my liver to my dad, no.
Should tell the doctor to donate their liver.
Yes I would my dad died when I was 9 so my mom is the only thing I got. I’d risk my life any day to make sure she is there for me for as long as possible ❤
I wouldn't give anyone my liver including my mom if she was an alcoholic.
Absolutely not. Why waste an organ to continue the life of someone older that’s already lived and lower my quality? Not to mention how many humans we already have on this planet and combining that with our large life spans.
Story 1. I would give any organ to my parents. However my parents don’t drink. I am 58 at this point in my life if they can find a good organ that I have ruined, my folks can have it !
Story 2. Long live the ADA !!!
Not the A hole at all !!!
My step mom was abusive, if she had a bad liver I wouldn't even test to see if I was a match..
I would have told my mother, her doctors, and my brother to all take a long walk off a short bridge. Ain’t no dang way after all she put me through. After the first phone call everyone would have been immediately blocked.
For the last story NTAH she is making money and I don't think it's agreed that she should be the only bread winner. And it was HER bonus, so he should have tried to get the ok before he went and got the chair and the other thing.
First, its nit luver cancer, its cirrhosis of the liver (due to drinking). Second, no doctor will pressure a person. They will even deny a match if the person requests it. All you have to do is tell them you do t want to and they list you as incompatible. I know because I went thrpugh this for a sil who was in the same position.
Bet OP's future ex has been lying in a huge way to his family and friends. He absolutely needed to find a way to help support.
Omgosh these where juicyyyyy
I find it odd that the doctors would agree to give an alcoholic a new liver. That usually doesn't fly.
*Things must be different in Sweden
My father yes, my mother unfortunately died when I was 2.
I hate to say it, but I probably wouldn't give my mom my liver. She has a lot of health issues currently other than a liver. Besides, I don't think my mom would WANT me to risk my life for hers. She loves her kids more than life itself, so it would be hard for me to even see her asking us to risk something like that.
I'm also a child free but my mom adores spoiling her grand-puppies just as much as my siblings' kids.
Husband spending the money the wife earned, savings and not working, reminds me of my abusive ex. Glad she split.
Yeah I would give my liver to anyone in my fam that needed it
My mom and I haven't had the best of relationships but she is still my mom. She doesn't drink or smoke and is at times considered a good Christian woman. I know loves and favors my mom and honestly... I can't and don't want to imagine life without my mom here. Of course she can have my liver... Goodness knows the choices are slim pickings considering I'm the only one who hasn't picked up alcohol drinking like it's water and I'm a fish... I'd probably be one of her best bets.
My mom is literally perfect. I would give my mom my liver but I also have a fatty liver so I don’t know if I would even be eligible.
My mum was a kind, loving, wonderful person who would do anything for her kids, no matter the sacrifice. If she had needed a liver transplant and I was a match I would be on that operating table so fast your head would spin
If she was anything like a real mother she would rather die than risk the lives of her children.
That moment when having a disability doesn't count unless its debilitating to THEIR eyes.....sounds like they need new friends 8:40
story 3: did we date the same guy??😂😂 my ex was exactly the same.
I will not give them anything. They decided to shunned me (whole family) and haven’t speak to them in few years. I really don’t care. They abandoned me for being different , I won’t give them anything.
Try and remember that the transplant doctor is the mother's doctor not the poster's
My opinion: I would personally donate every organ i could to my mom or dad because they were both and still are wonderful people who raised my right, unlike this disgusting mom who i hope she does not get a donor
I would give my liver to my dad, but if it were my mom, she has a few things she needs to do before I would even think about giving her a part of my body. Like understand how she abused me for 15 years and genuinely apologize, get professional help for her bpd and start being a good person
I would 100% give a piece of my liver to my mom, dad, or siblings. But I wasn't abused growing up and I actually like them making that it's an easy answer. If I was in OP's position, no... no I would NOT.
That is just funny. The idea is that if you get disability services, you take it away from people. I am severely disabled. Do you know how hard it is to get help? It is hard; everything in your life is checked off a fine toothcone to ensure you do not abuse it. More people using it is a great thing. The problem is that they can get more funding.