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Why They Come Back After You Distance
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- Опубликовано: 17 авг 2024
- In this video, we discuss why someone comes back after you give them space and distance. We get into understanding the importance of space in a relationship and how to have balance between time together and time apart. If you're in a breakup, respecting your ex's need for space and using it to strengthen your identity in turn shows confidence and can re-attract them.
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Would it be wrong to send my teens to live with their dad while I leave europe to move to the usa for love??? Should I think of my future or let it go and stay for the children?
Craig, do you have PayPal account? I would like to support you channel which has helped me so much during the last 6 months.
@@lebe6863 I wouldn't. I did that and now my adult children are avoidant attachment. That is a trauma for them. I am sorry I did that.
@@annguempel6218 thank you I appreciate your reply. I will stay here. It's a romanticised notion that would not be reality
Please never change your intro, we love it 😇
Listen to these wonderful people. It took 8 months but she came back. I didn't take her back as I had moved on, BUT the strategy works. No Contact, work on yourself, and move on. They WILL come back.
I was with a SUPER avoidant girl (I was REALLY anxious back then) and after she dumped me I pleaded and messed up bad. There was 0% chance anything would ever happen between us again... 4 months later things looked a lot different.
Do this! It works! Don't do it for them, do it for yourself. If it works out, awesome! if not, you'll be with someone better.
And if they don’t, you’re probably better off. I’m an example of that.
Even long distance? We broke up twice!😭
Not true at all. They will not come back for everyone. I was dumped in October 2017. This is March 2021. I haven't heard from my ex since we broke up.
@@LaoSoftware maybe you're toxic? Look inside yourself
RIP Coach Margaret
Received today ‘what are you doing today?’ Then two hours later a photo of us together, along with ‘I miss you babe’. After a month of NC as they were taking me for granted.
Lucky you ….
Life does go on after the Break up. Go thru the levels and try to grow from it. I lost somebody I loved and thought she was everything until I met the woman I've been married to for 34 years. It's a big world out there.
It’s so hard when an avoidant sometimes doesn’t express their need for space. I tried to pick up when she needed space, but then sometimes I truthfully didn’t realize that I was being needy and invading her space. Unintentionally. I’m learning to control my anxiety. So when I get a second chance, I will be better & more knowledgeable.
I pray for your success! My ex gf is also an avoidant, sometimes she drives me nuts but i love her and would do anything for her
Literally in the same situation
Don't forget your own needs and make sure your Avoidant partner knows them. It's a 2 way street, don't ever forget that or you will be a servant only to their needs!
I know from expierience
Same thing happened to me, too. Looking back, he left hints, but it would've been better if he was upfront. Today we're separated (BU), but I'm working on myself and giving him his space.🏆
any update?
Who is that ray of sunshine 🌅 sitting in the middle?
I'm 47 years old, single and haven't dated in a very long time. I come from a family that never taught me about healthy relationships, and left it up to me to figure life out on my own. I've been through so many relationships that would have been just beautiful, had I known what I just learned from watching this video. I wasn't to blame for how toxic and dysfunctional my relationships were, because I couldn't even see it myself and no one ever told me, but this information is a game changer for me, if I ever do have another relationship in the future. Thank you very much! It took me long enough to find this out, but now I can help others so they don't make the same mistakes and I'll Point them to this video.
I was raised the same way if I knew what coach Craig says I bet things would of turned out diffrent
It is interesting I have been listening to Coach Craig and Margaret for 3 years. I am 48 years old. I had a broken engagement 3 years ago and moved to the Pacific NW from the Midwest. My son went to the Marines so used that as an excuse to learn about myself. II had a great career opportunity and just needed a change of scenery. I have learned I am an combination of anxious and avoidant (fearful avoidant or disorganized) I am not an adopted child, but just had those issues. I am am trying to be a secure person. My parents are really dysfunctional but at the end of the day I have learned about myself and I have learned it from you. I have been single for 3 years to learn and love myself. Thank you!
Did you ever end up finding a new relationship? I’m curious
Exactly- to your point about "not knowing " It sickens me to no end that these skills aren't taught somewhere in the late teens, early twenties so that people have a grasp on how to successfully navigate a relationship or marriage and don't fall flat on their face 3 years jn because they have no idea how to be in a relationship. This curriculum should be mandatory to all young people- that divorce rate wouldn't be above 50% It's a shame, and I'm embarrassed at us as a society that learning about attachment styles aren't mandatory in our school systems
Yes! My ex came back 2months after break up. And got even much more better than before. :D Thank you Craig and Margaret!! I love you guys!! :-*
Still together?
Are you still together?
Still together??
Margaret is such a sweet lady.
Truly amazing! Incredibly insightful and wise!
@@CoachCraigKenneth And so are you!
Love you Margaret! You make me feel so calm!
she's the absolute best
Adorable wish she was my nana 🤩
Sometimes i only need to hear "i'm Craig Kenneth" and i feel better and comforted.
I have watched so many video's since my partner of eighteen years suddenly left me and i try and navigate no contact and co parenting.
Thank goodness i found you all relatively early on before i did too much damage.
I mean, even hearing the jingle sometimes calms me. . . . I might make it my ring tone 😁
It's early day's for me yet, who know's what's going happen?
Well, especially as i don't know the reason!
But thank's for being there for us all at a truly horrible time.
How are you doing today?
@@slimjim1104 okay thank you. 😁
DUDE YES I SWEAR. but hiw are you doing? How is your heart?
@@cerimassey5218 update on your situation? Did the other person contacted?
@@diericklopez6811 no, i just became more resilient and cared less.
When someone asks for “personal time/space” and you respect that… But they’re out contacting and responding to everyone else but you…. That is where ppl confuse the purpose…At that point, be an adult and tell your partner…”while I’m out, I don’t want to talk to you…” Be honest… It is not about being insecure… It’s about allowing the person to handle your true reasons.
I dont know seeing margaret is like having grandma. I really love seeing her on every video you guys take.
I know of someone who can help you get your ex back
Because he helped me too
🙏🙏
Via...... What'S
+2348077751695
You guys have been so helpful to me. 6 weeks no contact. I’m feeling much better but it’s more like ups and downs. I’m open to dating and see how it goes. At the same time I don’t feel ready for another connection. Praying for serenity. Thank you for all your help. Love you guys.
___+ 2::3::4::90::18::08::73::01...
Sometimes when your ex say they need space, there is another person in the picture. Someone who they have been flirting with and developed emotional bond over last few months (, co-worker ect)
Unfortunately this can be true. If that's the case, they should just be upfront about it. Then ppl could go directly to the closure / healing process instead of being misdirected to a holding pattern.
Ill emphasize the word ‘sometimes’ as this definitely isn’t always the case.
Literally happened to me he said he needed space next thing I know I’m getting a call telling me I need to be checked for herpes bc he has sex with his co worker & she accused him of giving it to her we got tested didn’t have it she’s the only one that did so now he’s trying to really focus on himself.
I like coach Victoria. She seems a little shy so I hope she can warm up to us a bit more but she’s very insightful and she’s soft spoken and that’s really good for us anxious folks.
She’s just getting started. She’s actually hilarious and once we get going, will have a lot of fun
@@CoachCraigKenneth can’t wait to see more of her!
Ive distanced myself for 8 months, not a peep. Never reached out after our last contact but she still stalks my social media through her friend. Its painful for me in a way cause my thought process is just "why are you torturing and hurting yourself when I wont bite if you wanna say something to me lol". I was giving her plenty of space in a relationship and never been the jealous type. Oh well, every day im letting go more and more and I'm perfectly fine.
you might have to come to terms with the idea that maybe she is not hurting or torturing herself by looking at your social media. She may still care for you as a person but has no more romantic feelings towards you. So it hurts you to see her social media but to her she doesn't feel that type of pain.
Any updates?
@@codydavis3100 then why she still look at his social media? What's the point? Weird lmao
This video is so good for me as an anxiously attached person.
I hope and pray that my ex girlfriend and I get back together after this breakup, it’s been 3 and a half months.
It’s been so long, by now I’ve just accepted that she is fine with the breakup and moving forward with her life.
Made many changes to mine and I’m ok wether or not I ever see her again.
There will always be new people who enter in life just as she did in the past. Good luck everyone! 🤗
True love never die, don't give up anything in life all hope isn't lost.
Hello getting back your ex shouldn't be a problem anymore.
What's>app...the healer....
+ 1 ( "9 0 9" ) "3 1 0" "1 7 8 6"
He have solution to all problems
Can I just say it’s so good to say so many men write their stories on here… I’m a woman, and as simplistic or naive as it sounds, it’s reassuring to see that men also ruminate and go through the same process as we do.. my ex was icy cold in the break up and we went into strict NC straight after, so right now it feels like he didn’t even have to go through the ‘standard grieving process’ the dumper is meant to go through. 💔💔
When they "want space", the only right answer you should have is:" Ok. There is the door. See yah"
👏
It is true that we are no one to force someone to stay with us so we are not obliged to love
Tall words
needing space is NORMAL
You guys are such a source of understanding and wisdom. I always come here on my worst days. So much compassion for all of us with broken hearts 💔
Freedom is a bigger need than love. This is so important to teach.
Coach Victoria looks like such a nice person! Love to have her here, love the advice and love you Craig and Margaret. For you guys out there who are struggling, listen to them, I assure you things will get better! I know because they have already helped me once.
She’s great. She has been behind the scenes for many years!
She's much more than just a pretty face.
Victoria’s voice is very calming. 😌
Hi! Happy new year:) my ex dumped me, almost 2 years ago, I went immediately into no contact, and he never contacted me. It hurt my feelings deeply and now I have concluded that he is a fool. I am working on myself, pursuing hobbies and I always remind myself: focus on people who prioritise me.
I have one comment: please wear brighter, lighter colours; it will appear better on film. For example, for Coach Craig, wear a lighter shade of a blue shirt so that it adds more light to the face.
I wish all three of you success in 2021! You have helped me so much:)
Yeah, he is a fool stupid, you are such a babe 😍😍
He is a damn fool.. just like my ex for turning her back on me. Exp after claiming she wanted to be with me forever and that she’s loves me and is scared to lose me.
@@aronchas How can you tell?
Hot profile pic unlike you Space😂
@@joey9621 Lol...I know. 😄 Maybe that's why the ladies are avoiding me in droves.
Im continuing my process to be a better version of myself everyday. It's painful at 1st week to have no contact. but thanks to you coaches. I watched your video everyday and every night. For some reason listening to you guys is therapeutic. Gives me sense of calmness. Thank you and i will update you on my progress on bettering my self. Happy new year!
Well?
I believe you. He reached out but Im still working on myself. Thanks to your videos craig
It worked for me but it was so so hard. The no contact reset the power dynamic and we’re going to meet this week
Make sure you go back and review your workbook answers! That will help you stay centered and prepared!
I’m having a hard time trusting my ex’s attempts to contact me . I feel that it’s just a way to string me along and to use me. It’s been almost 7 months and I feel he would be putting more effort into getting me back than just sending bread crumbs .
Trust your gut
Good point on remembering we have more priorities besides our partners. Definitely want to make sure we are meeting our own health and business needs
This video made me more depressed, how they hammered in all the bad I seemed to have done in my relationship, leaving me with the feeling there's no hope and it's too late
If your ex comes back after being with someone Do Not take them back.
grow up
210 days no contact they broke a 15 yr relationship. im 4ths into a new relationship. They were crying saying they missed me an that they love me even though there in a new relationship. They are now texting me now an then mmm. Your advice has been helping I’m out living my life an there surprised iv gave up. Thanks guys for your support with your channel highly grateful 🤩
I wish I could get over the depression. We were married 32yrs. and he blindsided me when he left with nothing but a mean note. The divorce is still in process. He won't talk to me at all. He even moved out of the country. Some days are good and I feel strong but during the past holidays until now, I've just been hiding in my room sad.
I’m so sorry. I hope you’re doing better these days
Hi Rocky, im sorry to read.. How are you now?
After 8 long silent months (11 yr relationship) he called. I don’t know where it will go. I just finally went on my first date with someone new. Oh man, your right it does happen!!!!
Congrats! Update?
Well he got into a rebound and now realizes it’s a mistake. All I’ve read and all the videos I’ve researched says to not go back when your put aside we talked once more and she’s making plans for their future but he’s having trouble thinking we may have the real thing together and we didn’t take the time to work thro it. I just am taking my time not really knowing where it’s going. Not knowing if he even knows what he wants.
@@kathiphillips6424 More Updates? ;)
I needed this so much today! Thank you! I'm anxious in love with the avoidant who broke up with me but still loves me..I didn't understand it ! You guys have helped me so much. I'm starting the workbooks and I'm going to use them to help give him the time he needs. We are in our 50s and didn't realize how bad we still are at relationships! I have been learning so much from all you do! I know with your help I have already learned so much from this break up...your guidance has been key!
Sally Snyder, you deserve better 🙏🙏🙏
Coming back to my favorite RUclips channel after getting heartbroken again lmfao
Craig and Margaret, you are fantastic - but coach Victoria has just done something that both of you haven’t done yet. Victoria talking about pressure and explaining not enough time with friends, work was stressful etc. and how that will impact their being. It’s the way she explains it that makes so much more sense! Good job guys!
Love you guys!!!
Been working on self-improvement since my breakup with my ex who moved on with another personal. Watching your videos calms my anxiety and always comforts me.
More power!
It doesn't really matter if our partner is somewhere as long as they do have enough time for us. The problem is they chose to go out with friends instead of bond with you when that's the only time you both have when you two are busy. They just dont understand that.
This video could not have been posted at a more perfect timing. I have a coaching scheduled this week with Margaret. I'm so nervous / excited. Of course, my avoidant ex reached out 5 days after NC which I was NOT expecting, but I am being very careful and cautious because I care about this person and their needs. I will have to check out these creative courses in the meantime.
You're too gorgeous and probably too good to be dumped. Find someone better.
How much does Margaret charge
Well??
Any update?
Really needed this today guys. Ex left me four weeks ago as he was in a bad place mentally and emotionally. I have gone into NC. He reached out a few times and I have just responded being polite. Really hoping he does the inner work and comes back to us. I am trying to accept and respect the space he has asked for... just hard when you’re not sure if it is over.
Im pretty much in this situation myself its hard hanging on to what could be
@@FancyNeonWolves sure is. But we have to let things evolve and see what happens. Only time and space will show us whether the relationship is strong enough to move forward. Time.
im literally in the same situation ☹️
@@aivalaumenyte1059 well let’s all be strong and pull through it. Remember that they broke up with us...
@@amati7940 any update?
So much of the advice is directed toward anxious partners. I am stable, not anxious; i am not pressuring my partner for more time together, and have some avoidant tendencies myself.
I have ended the relationship with the avoidant after two 2 wk periods of reduced contact. I then stopped reaching out, waited 30 days, and received not even a text. To me, it’s too exhausting and unfulfilling to love someone who doesn’t want to be loved.
What I want as advice is more about the things to say to console myself, and why it’s not a good idea to have this kind of relationship, and to not fall for the love bombing, to recognize them before I get in too deep. And also to recognize the stable people who are interested.
I know people who literally go from serious relationship to serious relationship with no time in between. It’s insane.
My ex had fear of abandonment. And fear of being smothered. She was an avoidant who had both. After 5 break ups I let her go. I got tired of being dumped once a year. While she avoided seeking help for her issue. I continued to work on improving myself and outgrew her.
Sounds like my ex
Its been 1 year and 1 month. Nothing no contact.
@@ShannonThor. Sometimes it's not worth it to waste your time with someone who you will only outgrow. You can do better. I did.
@@jinxlee8556 thanks hard though. We have mutual friends. Ive isolated myself from everyone but my family. I should be over him, tons of growth. Im in nursing school my life better just miss him and it still hurts so much
@@ShannonThor. It's like that because you are human. And you have feelings. I went through the same thing. She left some memories behind. I threw out her earrings she left at my apartment. I have no intentions of going backward in life. Putting it mildly, this woman is a piece of work. And I would be a fool to return to her again. That would be like having the "Stockholm Syndrome." Clinging to what is toxic. And rejecting what is healthy. Once you realize that you are the prize, life feels like it is brand new. TMI. Be encouraged. Hang in there Champ!
@@jinxlee8556 thank you so much
I haven’t spoken to my ex in 3 months (today actually marking 3 months exact) I miss him so much but I found out recently he has a new girlfriend. Someone who I think he secretly liked for awhile even when he was dating me. However he was telling me that he can’t be in a relationship because he needs to find himself which was obviously a lie. A part of me is hoping he picks up the phone someday soon and tells me he misses me. But I also know that I deserve better than that!
Stop seeking his validation. He left you, give the gift of him never knowing you ever again. Don’t be a fool, life too short,
@@B1GK1NG ok, calm down 🙂
Same for me.
“If they show you who they are the first time, believe them ‼️ “. quote by Maya Angelou
@@B1GK1NG Definitely ‼️
@@danam358 calm down? I’m just being real. She wasting time waiting on a dude who is not worth her time.
What if this is the 2nd time? The first time he was overwhelmed with work. Did not beg, plead, anything. NC for 3 weeks. He reached out and then asked me out. Went on a number of dates and then he asked me if I’d like to continue dating again. We both had family engagements and travel commitments for 3 weeks. He was in touch the whole time. I always let him initiate. Then, I return from my trip and out of the blue he tells me he can’t do this anymore and his heart isn’t in it. I said, “okay. Goodbye.” Back to NC. I haven’t been clingy and have been extremely patient recognizing when he needed space. He told me he missed me the 1st time. What in the world?! I did nothing. No anxious qualities at all! No guilt tripping no dependency at all. I’m pretty secure. Both divorced. I was anxious in my marriage but have been in therapy for 3 yrs. His ex wife walked out on him after a 7 yr relationship and a 1.5 year marriage.
You make me feel so much better while I go through this space with my bf. I’m so worried and stressed but you make me laugh a bit so it cheers me up
6 months into no contact out of a 6 year relationship. She said Happy Birthday in September, but that's it. She's been seeing someone since November. Starting to believe it's actually over.
it is over. why would you want someone that does not want you? you can still love her from a far as a person, but you deserve someone that actually wants to be with you. you are worth it.
any update
Thankful for all 3 of you everyday for helping me grow and learn.😊
You’ve taught me more valuable things in life than school ever did.
Giving space to a partner with an anxious attachment style is terryfing for us, but this is why it’s so important to do the work to become secure because space is a natural human need and especially important if you’re with an avoidant.
I'll avoid the avoidant, way too much drama for me. I'll get better closeness with someone like myself, a secure person.
My ex came back. He said he didn't realise I was ignoring him (ie no contact) because apparently I was in the wrong and he was the one who was actually doing no contact and expected me to contact him after a few weeks. It took a whole year lol
🤣🤣 hope this ain't my case
Men are sure something! I'm glad he is back, congratulations, you give us all hope
@@FernandaGarcia-gu9xx we aren’t great at picking up hints that’s for sure. If I had been better at that maybe I wouldn’t be single hahaha.
Its been a year and one month. Nothing. He is avoiding. This is the longest we have ever not seen or talked too. Ive been isolating from our mutual friends since covid. Im still so sad
You are all so lovely! Thank you for all your advice! I really love Victoria as the addition to the team she's really wise for her age!
I don’t want them back. They REJECTED me after all that time. Why would I want someone like that back? How HEARTLESS can someone be! I have self-respect too you know. Love (true love that is), doesn’t LEAVE you when the going gets tough, nor does it JUDGE you harshly.
My ex after breaking up with me didn't want space. They still wanted to share the bed and live together. I had to kick them out so they could have what they wanted. It was missed up.
I appreciate you guys, and everyone in this comment section. I'm happy I found you guys before I lost myself mentally to depression. I just wanna say I love you all thank you all.
That video came today like...i can't explain.That guy he was after me and when i allowed myself to fall in love with him he just didn't want to continue.
He manipulated me.
I realized it after months...
I felt failed,unwanted i was kinna obsessed with him but i stopped contact with him.
He moved on,saw it on his social media (i was comparing my self to her,i felt such a looser",why her and not me,is she more beautiful is she more clever?"etc,
-Don't stalk his/her social media, don't feed that monster inside of u)
I knew i had to move on just few weeks ago.
Few hours ago he sent me messages inviting me to his home...
While he is with another woman.I felt shick and shaken.
I just politely refused and i think he got the message.
Never again.I don't wanna feel abandoned once again no matter the attraction i feel.
Thats my story.
Thank u Greg , Margaret ❤️ personal development is the key.
Is harder as i don't have friends cause i live so far away sadly i only can rely on me and its hard living on ur own.
But,today i made myself to feel proud after a long time...
Victoria u are becoming better and better.
Walk away with grace my friends from a situation that made u a victim.
Happy New Years Craig and Margaret! Keep up the great work!!
Good to see you all together and very happy New year to all of you.
Im good with a person in a relationship says they need space, its when they say we need time apart that it becomes an issue.
Im so glad i came across this video. I’m an anxious person. this has been my struggle.
Great video as always!
I can't help but laugh at moments like 3:34 when they both stare into the camera with a look of disapproval. I feel like a kid that got caught doing something wrong all over again haha
Since she hadn't reached out for 9-10 months, even if the breakup was mostly my fault and then I begged and pleaded for a long time, before I started no contact, I decided to reach out again at Christmas. She hasn't even responded even though I was short and polite. I said Merry Christmas and asked her how she was doing. No problem though ,her loss..
Please make a video about "signs they are not coming back"
Yeah, letting them go play basketball is one thing. So is bowling. My ex wanted to be gone the ENTIRE year taking road trips with groups of guys and girls, going to Vegas, partying until the morning, etc. It was the same when she was married I found out. She wanted to have a man and kids here, while she went out and partied and had someone to handle things back home. She told me the same thing she told her husband when they were married: I'm working....she let it slip once in conversation that he would call her and nag her about coming home and she'd say she's working.
She said the same to me one night when I asked her why she was out for hours at a time at dinner all the time with her friends. She'd say, "I'm working...." I told her she was full of crap. I wouldn't have had any issues with an outing locally here and there, in fact she did that when she was here and I had no issues. Once she was out of state it was like she didn't have kids or a man....
It’s hard to do no contact when you have a child with her. And I’m hoping she comes back. We have such an AMAZING chemistry and bond, 5 years together. Married for 2.5. And the other night, I woke up with a bad feeling 2 minutes before she called me at 3:15 am. She had gotten into a bad car accident where she totaled her new car she had for 2 days. That’s the bond we have. I can feel her. It’s strange, we had the best relationship. I’m not sure why she won’t come back even when the love making is the best for both of us. We have a strong attachment
I THANK YOU GUYS FOR ALL YOUR REASSURING, NOW WITH MY TOTAL TRANSFORMATION FROM BEING HOMELESS TO GOING INTO A NEW BUSINESS VENTURE OF HEALING THE WORLD, WOW I CAN SEE MY EX IF ITS GODS WILL OF TAKING PART IN A TEAMWORK IN LEADING UPVTO THAT HEALING BUSINESS IN WHICH GOD SPOKE TO ME ABOUT.
MAY GODS WILL BE DONE IN THIS PERIOD OF DISTANCE BETWERN US. I FEEL GOD IS YET SENDING ME AS A VERY SPIRITUAL PERSON AT THIS TIME IN JESUS NAME FOR A MIACLE. AMEN.
I love you guys so much.😘😘😘💕💕💕 this no contact process is a long one but I'm thankful to keep working on myself and keep a positive mindset.
I hope you guys had a nice Happy New Year's🤗🎉💕🌟
Omg this was the best channel to find....Ive been broken up for a year, no contact for 3 months....I'm very glad I've got the confidence not to reach out over Christmas new year. Thankyou!
First full video I've seen with the new coach. Welcome to the team! Craig and Margaret are the only dating coaches online that I trust because they are educated and Craig has lived most of the stuff he talks about. Victoria you are in good hands and will be an asset I'm sure. 🙂
She’s been training with us for a very long time before she even got on camera
Ending relationships at anytime, for any reason and no need to provide closure, sometimes even ghost, keep those relationships casual people, use em then ghost em.
i own up to my mistakes and i did this. she never did anything for me not to trust her when she would go out but i was always insecure. i should have just let her go and have fun and not have to worry about me because i’m sure this was the reason why we broke up. it’s been 9 days of NC and i’m starting to feel a little bit better
Excellent video and extremely valuable to me today....thank you intrepid trio! Happy New Year xx
U too!
Life goes on and go on with your life be happy. Accept that things didn’t work out. It’s not your or his fault it’s all about perfect timing. Have fun go out visit family catch up with old friends. If your ex comes back in the future be happy respond with kindness and take it from there. What will be will be. Only God knows who will be in our future.
How much space is too much space? I wanted To see my ex at least once a week or at least have communication once a week and that became too difficult (always, I’ve been busy). At least two weeks or even a month would go by and they would say “it hasn’t been that long🙄” and I would respond “yes, it’s been a month.” And they would say, “well it doesn’t seem that long to me.” This would upset me and hurt me, making me feel, wow my partner doesn’t even care that I haven’t been around for two weeks to a month. I don’t think I’m an unreasonable person. But, I think I was feeling more like an obligation than being wanted, and it hurts so much to feel this way. I want to be wanted, and not out sight out of mind. Finding a balance And understanding became a struggle, and my anxiety and disappointment grew so much that my partner decided it was too much. I could have been more mature, but at this point I was in too much pain. I wish people were more understanding and patient (myself included at times).
I'm going through the same thing now... Exactly how I felt and I when I gave him space it seemed he took more... 10 days turned into 2 weeks and not a peep. I went NC see what happens.
I'm on a "break" the last 2 months. So she's been staying at a different house here in the same town, even though she's not from anywhere around here. But I've not gone more than 2 days without hearing from her plus she has me see her sometimes. She makes it evident that she needs to heal but has intentions of working things out. So it's a bit different than a full blown break-up. But she def can't let me go and def wouldn't wanna see another woman loving me. I was emotionally abusive at times but we had many more great times the last 2+ years than bad moments. And we got engaged just 5 months ago which was only 3 months into engagement when she started checking out emotionally and this break started. But I feel giving her space and letting her reach out to me has helped her accelerate through her stages. She has been realistic with herself that it's not permanent for her to feel this way. For example the other day she asked me to get lunch at Dennys with her. There was an old couple sitting by us and she said, "right now that doesn't even appeal to me, but I know it's just a stage and I'll end up back to wanting to settle down again" but right now she just needs to feel some freedom to heal. And besides my emotional abuse I had been controlling in some ways so I understand everything she is going through. I'm just glad she is mature and realistic with herself that this isn't permanent for her to feel this way. So I will keep growing and allow her to come to me. Any advice would be appreciated but I feel I'm on the right path.
Three coaches! Nice
Yes! It allows us to do variety!
It would help if they would say how much space they needed. When I asked her, she said 'i don't know, a lot' and I shouldn't wait for her...
Thank you very much for your time to convey this important information. It’s very relevant to me right now and it’ll help me work on myself while I give my partner the space she has asked for.
Great video I appreciate the hard work you guys put in the videos and topics happy 2021 and from the uk
Dr. Craig your viedos have helped me through my break up thank you
The last time I let my partner go out with his friends without making a fuss, he wound up going on a date with a new girl, broke up with me that same night, and started dating her the next week.
My ex can't even send a single message or just even reply and even took a weeks to months. Is that acceptable, I don't even question what she's been doing before but ignoring me just made me anxious.
THIS VIDEO WAS MADE FOR ME I MEAN I DIDNT EAMAIL OR ANYTHING BUT I FEEL SO ATTACKED ( in a good way ) it speaks a lot to me omg....
Most of the time it can't happened they can't came back 😩😩
Thanks for asking but it's over I think it's too late she don't want it's been 8month of break up💔 and during these month not a single time she reached me
What if you gave them so much space that they blocked you on everything, even though I didn't contact at all after things ended 😞
The worst part about my breakup is that my ex has picked up some bad habits and is leaning towards self destructive behavior like drinking, partying and even smoking with her new friends and it just hurts to see her like this without being able to do anything. We broke up almost 2 months ago and i’m doing better but it still hurts seeing her like that. Although lately, she has posted some sad love quotes with sad music in her close friends insta story and i don’t know why i’m still on that list and she even added my sister and my close friends to that list as if she wanted me to see it, i didn’t though, my sister showed it to me, so my ex doesn’t know if i saw it. But i don’t want to keep reading into that stuff so i’m keeping up no contact and personal work.
I totally understand where you are coming from. I was in the same position. You can’t help someone; they can only help themselves. She probably has to go through this phase to learn from life experiences. Everything happens for a reason
Yeah and it weirds me out because we have been together for almost 2 years and although she always liked partying, she was responsable and didn’t smoke because she always valued her health, but now it looks like she just doesn’t care.
It’s likely they’re not over you and not ready to deal with the emotions hence finding distractions
@Chris T probably a bit of a fearful avoidant scared you’ll reject her if she does reach out that’s why she distracts her self so she doesn’t have to deal with things and doesn’t contact you directly but tried to get your attention... stay strong brother focus on being the best version of you and she will get in touch eventually and at that point you will be the confident better version of you, who knows you might even decide you don’t want her by then either way you win... good luck my dude
@Chris T if she’s for the streets let her go back where she belongs... stay strong brother
Yes another video with Victoria! ❤
She will be in a lot more videos from now on
@@CoachCraigKenneth thank you! You all are awesome.
Thank u 🙏
RIP Coach Margaret. Lovely Soul.
Looking good coach K. Happy New Year's to you and your amazing team.
I have to ask, how long is reasonable? Suggested is an infinite space without your spouse. Doesn't seem to make a lot of sense. I'm going on two years. Feels like a separation should come to an end. Help!
Great video bro
Happy New Year My favorite Coaches !!❤❤❤
U too
Didnt work for me. Been about 10 years since she left me, right after high school, and she still would rather be with this guy who likes to scream in a microphone....
Thank you coaches, I watch the videos everyday!! Would you please make a video about rejection and how to handle it? My attachment style is anxcious 😏
I thought I was an amazing partner. I never questioned him when he went out- who he was with, where he was going, what time he be back, NOTHING! I trusted him completely. Guess I learned my lesson... He completely blindsided and bu with me after 1.5 years and marriage, house, and kids talks- he was in a relationship 2.5 weeks later ( or that's when I found out anyhow)
I've given him nothing but space and time and haven't reached out for 6 months and they're still together. Guess this isn't true in my case. It should be called they're NEVER coming back in my case. 💔
A therapist once told me "When you give a man too much space, that's when they cheat." Going to a ballgame once in awhile is fine though.
Was this way with my girl with 100% trust, she went on an annual trip she always goes on with "some friends" and cheated with a guy she just met. Lovely.
@@michaelwilson7204 I am so sorry to hear that. Knowing that the person you love most in the world chooses someone else over you is the most devastating thing. It's been almost 2 years for me now and I haven't heard anything from him. but I did hear through the grapevine that he and the woman he left me for had a child together.. Nothing more devastating than that. I just wish I knew what she had and what she was able to give him that I wasn't. I guess I'll never know.
I hope things work out for you man.. Again I am so so very sorry and I completely understand your hurt.
It would be interesting if you could talk about when the dumper tells themselves "its better like this so i dont hurt them like ive been hurt, they deserve someone beter, im not meant to be with anyone, i dont eant to bring them down with me" this is how my ex ended things and i wish i could understand more about why they feel this way and if theres a chance they ever change their mind and reach out even though they believe that the breakup was better for the dumpee.
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My marriage ended because my husband wanted space but what he wanted to do was disappear for the weekend and get high and black out drunk. The more he did it the more I got anxious and pushed him to do it more. I told him if he does it one more time I'm leaving. So he did and I left. He will forever say it was my fault.
@@Redouku I had to tell him that and I followed through to save myself from that situation. It wasn't an ultimatum it was we both made our choices about what we wanted. He wanted to get drunk and high and I didn't want to live with that anymore. Neither of us ever came back to try again.
@@Redouku you weren't there. I was summarising. The reality was we went to get counciling. We discussed our issues with a professional. He agreed during the meeting that he would stop using while we tried to work on us. After we left the meeting he turned to me and said "there is nothing wrong with me, I'm not changing anything". I was completely shocked because I felt like the meeting went extremely well and he was actually going to try for our marriage. So I said, "Alright, if you are not going to do anything you just said you were in the meeting and that was all a lie, then I will move out tomorrow because I can't live through 1 more weekend." And truly how dare you tell me I behaved like a 3 year old. I moved across the world left my home to marry and start a life with him. That was my choice of course and I don't regret it, but to assume I didn't tell him I loved him is ridiculous. The sadness part of all of it was I did love him. I only left him to save myself from completely loosing myself. It didn't change how much I loved him. If he loved me he would have been a man and followed through with what he said. I can see now he probably never really loved me.
@@Redouku leave the advice giving to Craig and the professionals I think.
what if both of you have this mindset? then both of you will probably wait for who is going to approach first until both of you get tired of waiting and then move on xD