How To Stop Yourself From Doing OCD Compulsions
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- Опубликовано: 6 сен 2024
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THOUGHTS ARE JUST THOUGHTS ! THOUGHTS HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU ☺
yes
But i can't concentrate on important things because it will never leave my brain if i won't do the thoughts
You clearly don’t have ice if you think it’s that easy
Thanms
@@julianquiamhor3314 i can relate
The answer to the questions: 'Is it actually worth it? What am I gaining from this?' is of course 'No'. However, when someone is the midst of an ocd spike, this obvious answer may sound weak and unconvincing. I think this is why the recovery work seems so hard.
So true
Yup same for me
True. The clip make it appears very simple but in reality it doesn't work that way.
These questions appeal good to you when you aren't doing anything. But, in middle of the compulsion, these questions seem nothing except a thought to just complete them, and think about it later.
*It's a trap from which we neither can get out of it nor we can get into it.*
*Our life is stuck between them 😭😭.*
@@darkalpha6530 best thing to do is not start them .. its like starting over .. but when you start the compulsion you have to finish it.. but after you finish it .. your cycle starts again . My best advice to you is finish your last compulsion and if it triggers again . Do not do it.. because your brain is in a loop.. in the long run every time it triggers you . You will be tempted to do it again . Always think about the long run ..
To anyone out there struggling, definitely do exactly what Ali says and it will get better. My ocd was so terrible just a few months ago that I was having suicidal thoughts. I am doing so much better using her app and tracking rumination. My anxiety has gone form a 9 or 10 down to a 2 or 3 and I even have 1 days. I am not on medication and do not have a therapist. I still get triggered by things but I am confident that I am going to be able to get rid of the ocd using this method! Give it a try!
I’m the same at the mo mine is 10/10 can’t stop doing compulsions I feel like a drug addict to them they take up all my day I can’t shake off the intrusive thoughts they bully me allday I found out some I feel on the internet and now I can’t stop worrying about future
Thats amazing I have a therapist and I wish she knew about erp was she said she's not specialized in it but she's only one I can go to because insurance and only one in my life willing to listen to me. Its been 4 years and I hate it.
thats so true my brain is programmed to produce ocd thoughts and do compulsions and analysing
Please also look at this short 15 minute video which highlights OCD and ERP misconceptions.
ruclips.net/video/zEHVeofVqFg/видео.html
The absolute worse
It’s horrible
When I found you and your lessons,I was reborn
“Is this worth it.” That’s a question that has come in handy many times. Never worth it.
But it is because I feel so triggered and my brain is like “DO IT NOW.” and I just can’t help myself and do it and I can’t stop until I’m truly satisfied
@@okayhi2594 Ultimately we need to focus on the anxiety wherever that is for you and not the content of the thoughts because content changes often and is very deceptive. By placing your attention on the pain itself, and accepting it “I can live with this”, that’ll decrease albeit it’ll be uncomfortable, but that’s the point, handle the discomfort! Blessings to you.
@@renakmans3521 thank you ❤️❤️ god bless you
K good but it's feels so real
@@okayhi2594 SAME
I remember before I started therapy, I would get these very irrational thoughts, which made no sense but they caused me so much discomfort that I had to do a compulsion. Today I actually got reminded of the same irrational thought, I'm like "fuck it, it there's no logic behind that".
You killed me 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
marymangira AFRICA hope your ok lol
@@davidkhamush2801 nothing your comment killed me because that what l always do
marymangira AFRICA ahhh ok. Well I’m glad I gave you a good laugh :)
Thats exactly what happens to me, except i havent gotten over it yet
I just flew from Hawaii to Minneapolis. Combined it’s a 10 hour flight. My beloved brain made sure I drowned in anxiety and the whole way I was fighting off panic attacks by doing compulsions. Having OCD is like living in a waking nightmare. I can’t take this anymore.
I can relate hun but we must stay strong threw it and fight that urge! x
We are lucky to have a very hard to tame mind . Once you tame it YOU ARE A SUPERHERO 💓
I hate it too. I've had it for 60 years.
Let yourself be happy, or at least not suffer, I have to remind myself every time I turned the faucet on for the 10th time or switch the lights on and off a hundred times. Its a living nightmare of your own making, Im also struggling with OCD but its true, you have to stop and let the dread wash through you, find something to distract.
OCD seems easy to stop but the mind is powerful, its born of trauma. When I ignore it, my mind goes into a different state like anticipation bad things. Its silly but prospective makes reality. I can go months not doing it but it comes back every time, you have to accept that you deserve to be happy like anyone else. It gets so intertwined with your behavior and thoughts that you do it subconsciously. I catch myself standing or holding something a certain way to appease the compulsions. The brain gets wired with OCD as normal and constant. Its a struggle but its true, the only way out is to stop and to do positive things, its always trying to sneak its way in but you gotta never reward it.
Hate it so much
That's the reason why old folks with OCD are harder to treat and are more conservative. I read stories about their lives and a lot of them already treat it like a normal behaviour, which is pretty sad.
When you said “what am I gaining from this?”, your absolutely right in regards to having OCD compulsions. I feel you have to train your brain to think with this logic and keep that phrase in your mind whenever you have the compulsion/or thought of the compulsion. Most of the time, it relies on willpower to overcome that compulsion (for me anyway). Train yourself to think like this. I found this is the only way that I was able to overcome these compulsions or obscure behaviours.
Yep, this what i do, and i need to stop
Just think OCD to be a thought which has no relation with any outcome whatsoever until you really work on it. So just free yourself and be happy!!
You know guys, listening to this videos I can't not to think how many time I've lost, potential friends I've lost because when they found out for my ocd, they turned their back on me because for them I was weird. It really hurts knowing you are different. Even if the day comes when I will recover, it will be hard to live with the past and all the lost opportunities. I don't mean to bring bad mood here, just wanted to share my toughts with people who understand. Thank you Ali.
I feel you, my family is irritated with my compulsions. They don't understand my brain is weird.
@@colourcleff4155 my family is also irritated by my behaviour. Who wouldn't be. I have such stupid compulsions. And they switch all the time. I am in constant fear of everything. I bring sadness to people I love. I am sick of this game with ocd but can get out of it. I listen to Ali, I try sometimes her methods but soon everything is as it was... Usefull. I can just hope that one day I, and you, will beat this monster inside of us.
This is the first video I listened from Ali and it was probably what I needed. I did listen other videos from her as well and they are all great but this one made the best impact for me for now. I have severe OCD for more than 10 years and it is a horrible experience. I did pretty much everything and nothing really helped me. Her advices helped me to expose myself today on purpose to a one particular situation that is "MUST DO" a compulsion if I find myself in that situation and I decide to do nothing about compulsion after probably around 7-8 yrs, I just sit there tried to relax and do nothing about obsessive thoughts and compulsions and I simply move on. I felt horribly anxious and satisfying at the same time but it worked. I will continuously force myself to not respond on those demon thoughts and compulsions and hopefully one day live as a free man. Well done to Ali she is really great and today she provide little miracle even if she doesn't know it. Much love to her
For me this video addresses the crux of the OCD disorder: how can we ride out the overwhelming desire to carry out the compulsion to free ourselves???? We all know it keeps the cycle going, we all know it's linchpin that holds us fast to the OCD nightmare...we need more videos like this, more ways to ride it out, more ways to stay with the discomfort.
I think meditation is significant but I agree that for OCD we need specific tools while we are in the heat of that moment. Thanks for your videos!
Ali, normally I visit your videos and channel well after the damage is done... but this time I am doing it before I commit a compulsion and I am only 28 seconds into this video and I just have to tell you thank you so much for your help. I have been doing much better with OCD overall recently and have been holding off on doing a compulsion for almost a full day now but my mind (OCD) keeps thinking about this one compulsion. So here I am. I am trying hard not to give in. I appreciate you. God bless you.
im really very down now.
my fear is winning, sometimes i feel like im the only one with this kind of mental illness.
sometimes. i think its better to be dead.
i dnt even know where to find strength.
i just dont know why i am keep going on.
i just dint know,
i dont have courage anymore. 😞😞😞😞😞
You're not alone sweety
Same here...
No you are not alone. My name is Shey and I have OCD.
@@sheyanderson9498 Hello how's ur ocd I am too suffering from it it's a menace and worst mental experience are u on Instagram please reply I need to overcome it
Randeep Singh hah, imagine having not only ocd but also adhd and bipolar 😄 living the life
This is so helpful, thank you,. I've listen this video ten times already. Perfect!
I've recently started doing compulsions at night. I've had insomnia for a few years and I got on top of it but the last few months, my ocd has gotten worse and it's linked in with my night time routine and it's worsening my sleep. Last night, I woke at 3am and spent the whole night doing a compulsion because I couldn't get it "right". I literally could not fall back asleep because as soon as I was about to drift off, I'd get that shock that wakes you back up. Obviously my mind knew something was up. I still feel like I've to do this one compulsion. It's a bloody pain 😔
@@tinaignatova7705 I hope you find some peace soon. It is tough. I'm not doing too bad now. Still get compulsions. I know I should be completely ignoring them but we all need our sleep so it's easier to give in sometimes but I know I'm doing wrong by giving in. My sleep is alot better though. Some times it gets a bit bad but nothing I can't manage. I have stopped doing some compulsions so I am progressing. I don't know what else to say to u only I hope u have more good days than bad and that someday you'll be free from ocd or at least be able to manage it better 🙏
Ali...You are a lifeline for ocd pateints...Thanks for helping.
This is so accurate 💯💯
Thank you. Having such a hard time with my OCD at the moment, probably the worst I've experienced in the 15 years I've dealt with it. It's great having a community of people going through the same experience.
Thank you so much Ali I listened to this 3 times in a row now an just read comments an I actually over come the thoughts of washing my hands an wiping my phone down. I feel pretty good now haha.
I have the breath compulsion, i cannot enjoy a comedy in a theatre, film, a conversation, without thinkin about my breath, i always have to pay attention to me breathing even if i don't want to, i know it's wrong, but i have to do it, and once i do it, i get angry because i feel my breath, and i just want to breath normally like the others, so i try to enjoy the moment and to distract myself, bur as far as i am not concentrated in my breath for a short or long period of time, like minutes or an hour, i have the compulsion and the thought that i didn't feel myself breathing, so all starts again. Please help me i am really tired of this...
Try relaxation therapy....n if that doesnt work, tell me 😊
I've had this problem also, it's awful. What worked for me is this.........take your attention away from it, and focus or think about something else. it's the only way. Trust your body will breathe by itself. Our brains are hardwired to create. This is also what Ali has been telling us in so many ways. You've got to try harder. Best wishes for you.
@@puppycat65481 I've seen other people say that trying to forget isn't but that you should expect it and that that has worked for them
Lol dude by reading your OCD I got it automatically now I dint really now whether I really have it or it was temporary
I got the answer for your problem the actual mistaken ur conciousness is doing this that the thought when it comes to ur mind u start to relate it with urself and that's where it gets harder now whenever next time u get such a thought just consider it as a just thought and behave normally with it ,, believe this is really worth
Since U had OCD once.. U r the one qualified to treat us... Word by word, U say abt OCD is the very 'me'..
Lemme give a try... Scarry but Im tired of running......
I'm so sick and tired of my OCD since I was 5 I'm 65 now
U said ur OCD start at the age of 5 and now your age 65 🙄🙄🙄
I felt so positive and reassuring after watching this video. Good OCD advice. Compulsion breeds obsessive thoughts.
Thank you so much Ali for this video. It’s very helpful, probably the best explanation I’ve heard on compulsions. Very effective.
Thank you. Very good advice. You are doing the compulsion because of fear this is exactly why I do it.
Cognitive compulsions is something I've only recently learned about and am now blown away by how I often I would do it, I never even saw it as ocd because I associated compulsions as purely physical while obsessions I saw as cognitive. I currently compulsively reformulate, often just changing phrases or words, of meditation techniques but also cbt techniques. I literally get stuck on word choice and phrases and stick to rigid scripts and techniques, referring back to them in impractical ways and trying to rigidly implement them in daily life. It really burns me out, I had a terrible day today with this, especially now that we are in corona quarantine. Great to hear these videos, best wishes to everybody, I know that I'll be okay.
One of your best videos Ali! 👏🏆
Just what I needed, I have ocd fear of cancer and I found a small lump in rectum and its hemmroids but my ocd is telling me its cancer and it grows and I am gonna die soon lol. I am 31 years old and shouldnt have to worry about this stuff. I had some progress and dont check anymore only do mental compulsions but now I am gonna stop that also. Send me strength I need it hehe :). Damn this is hard but it is the only way. Ive had like 15 types of cancer last 2 years its ridoculous. I hope I make it and thnx for this great video!
It’s so hard not to give in and I feel like when I’m not sitting down and doing these behaviors over and over, they build up and my mind tells me I have so many things I need to fix and I get very overwhelmed.
I know. Me too.
I needed this at the moment. Thanks Ali
even while listening to this audio i cant stop obsessive thoughts..still its a very helpful video..need councelling in person
Me too iam listening to video while having swallowing obsession
I know this is an old video, but I still have to say: thank you so much. This is the reason I decited to sleep insted of compulsions. THANK YOU.
I have suffered with ocd for years now was afraid to tell people at first but now it’s out there it’s so much better. My rituals drive me round the effin bend I can’t do anything without repeating what I do until I’m happy with the way it’s been done. I would love to go back to how I use to be but seems impossible 👎🏼
Stay strong brother I don't know what your ocd is but I'm right there with you we all can over come this somehow God bless you bro. I felt like I had a mental breakdown recently ocd is insanity but it can be beat. I guess we gotta just stop an try to wait out our brains to reprogram it's self an were back to normal. I don't even know how I ended up ocd.
@@nathanielrossi9659 neither do I mate it’s bloody hell isn’t it I speak to a therapist and he says the only way to overcome it is something called exposure therapy basically stopping all the rituals etc but by doing that my anxiety would be hell. We will get there tho bro we’ve been normal before and we can do it again
You’re incredibly. Thank you :)
OCD is Just Thought. An endless Thought. Not until you disregard It.
i always convince myself i just need to do it this one last time then i will stop and start over not doing anymore compulsions, while it does last sometimes for a while the next big enough threat makes me say the same thing again, just this one last time...................
"you know..."
Daniel S It is so hard to concentrate on what is being said because of the constant “you know”.... frustrating because the info is so fantastic amd i know its just a habit she has....but it just makes it so hard to concentrate
I hate the reassuance shit I’m litterally doing that half of my day, especially when I have swim meets
Same I hate it
this is great advice for someone who is anal ... ocd is far harder to not do the ritual. if a person doesn't do it, it will be all they think about until it is done. the intrusive thoughts will not leave their brain all day, and the next day, and the next until they relieve the anxiety by performing the ritual ... and this isn't to mention the thoughts a person with ocd has ALL the time. thoughts a normal person would not want to have. believe me
Ali is truly amazing, kind & so knowledgeable. Thank you Ali.
Most of the people doesn't know about OCD. I was judged and criticized because of it. One time, I was invited in a family party of a friend. And I don't how to say that I can't shake hands, eat their foods without smelling it first or drink their juices without a leftover. It's in my system, like I can't stop doing it no matter what. Hard habit to break. Because of it, I received one of the hurtful words that I can't truly forget. 😭😭😭😄
Keep fighting no matter what!
@@sheyanderson9498 thank you! 😍😍😍
It’s okay you should do it if it makes you feel better I have OCD to I was diagnosed at 5 I’m 20 now it’s been hard for me living with ocd I do these compulsions with my mouth and I feel like people are judging me but I can’t help it I feel like if I don’t do it I will lose control of myself and i have trouble functioning when I don’t do it I been through meany ocd rituals from turning lights on and of from putting my teddy bears and clown doll in my closest because it freaked me out thinking my finger was going to fall of because I had an cut on it thinking of harming my family but that was gone now thank god for that and now it just mouth compulsions and omg it’s been hell but idc what people have to say about it don’t care if anyone ever makes mean comment about me doing it because I can’t help being me I didn’t choose to have it it choose me if I could hand it over on to an plate I would here take my ocd
Trying to override the need to do the compulsion right now. I fee like throwing up. It will pass. It will pass. It will pass.
Thank you, it's been absolutely brutal with OCD, specially at work dealing with numbers and people's pay. One extra 0 and things would be a disaster, I had OCD since I was 14, and having an accounting/ Payroll career have made it an absolute nightmare. I will do my absolute best to not react to the compulsions.
Very very very helpful..amazing great video... Thanks. God bless you ...
Dear thank you so much for making such a motivational video
You’re awesome ali
Perfect video, thanks 👍👍👍👍
THANK YOU ALI, very helpful advice, appreciate your help as always 👍
Wow great idea. Thanks. Stick on ur decision. Thats good idea.
Thank you Ali! This really helped!
This is absolutely precise. Thanl you for making this video.
Thank you Ali so much for this video.. This is exactly what I've been going through daily and you're spot on with the mental compulsions part...it's terrible. And no it is def.not worth it
"You must not feel guilty for OCD thoughts"
This is so true.
I'm in the midst of wanting to wash my hands an wipe my phone an honestly I've had a bad last couple days of ocd I basically had a ocd mental breakdown recently an now I'm tryna fix myself cause I can't live like this anymore an this woman is so right on everything she said an it's so on point!
Does saying “you know” all the time count as a compulsion? 😉
Yeah.......I have those problems too
last month i was diagnose with OCD i had other multiple disorders and i've battle it but this my first time experiencing OCD. it gets worst and worst when i go through a traumatic saturation's its a worst feeling it kept me up at night,....
Hello everyone, do you have any tips how to make yourself stop when you're stuck in the reassuring loop?
It happens to me quite often that when I reassure myself once, I instantly need to recheck. And I get stuck in this loop for some time. I literally don't believe my own perception for some reason. Any tips how to get out of the "panic loop"?
Hi I had OCD for 12 years and it was ritual based with intrusive thoughts.
I can tell you there is definitely hope to recover as I am living proof.
I had cognitive behavioural therapy that was really difficult at first but definitely worked.
If you are in a OCD loop the best thing is to sit down close your eyes and concentrate on your breathing..
Repeat the same thing to yourself that you are safe and you do not need to do the ritual and that your anxiety will go..do this in your mind or say it out loud.
Then write down the thing you are saying stop after about 10 mins record your anxiety on s scale 1 to 10 .
Keep repeating this over and over for 30 mins or 60 mins depending on if anxiety starts to reduce.
You need to keep it wrote in a notebook and refer back to it to reassure yourself your anxiety will drop each time to avoid carrying out compulsions.
I hope this is helpful
I know... You know?
You cannot just tell OCD sufferers to do this, do that. You need techniques otherwise it doesn't work. If it does, then there will be no OCD sufferers in the world.
Your the best Ali 👏👏👏
When I ocd about hell, I have to constantly reassure myself. Re read articles about it. Analyze. Man it sucks
I think a great video that would help a lot of people would be in regards to the fact of when you choose to recover it’s really like taking a leap of faith in knowing who you Truly are and that needing to be enough. That I think is the hardest part because in my case I have brought my ocd down to about a 5 in regards to new thoughts that come in but the only thing holding me back is this one thought from the past that really bothers me still..and I’m at the point where I just need to take that leap of faith because this is the only thought holding me back at this point and I’m never going to figure this thought out and I need to just trust myself regardless of the fears. Do you find this happens often in recover where someone is recovering well but theirs just one thought really holding them back from full recovery?
I feel the same about this one thought trying to solve it which is a mental compulsion
Yes I feel I have this too. Find it hard to let go and just trust myself… but yes, healing from OCD is totally about taking a leap of faith into the unknown… it feels like you don’t know who you are etc if you don’t do compulsions
SUCH A HELPFUL VIDEO
❤️
I can't believe in my eyes because i confused that I see the thing behind is real and that my image thought are real ..that why I am reaching things 10 times but my eyes don't believe .Then I loss my self confidence and I told my mom to check things ..... please help me to overcome my OCD...
Exactly.same here.u speak my heart out.
It's like for example I am checking if something is clean, my eyes see it's clean but I don't feel satisfied enough to not check again. Seems like maybe the feeling of knowing it's clean is not completely there yet which makes me check several times before I kinda feel ok to move on
Thank you - got distracted from the many times you said “you know?” - thanks anyhow though -
Thank you very much.
This is unbelievably helpful to me.
Thank you SO much for these videos, Ali!
Can confessing your intrusive thoughts to a loved one be a compulsion?
*Feeling guilty for not being transparent enough and feeling isolated from loved ones
So my compulsion is googling things in order to get an answer or relief from my ocd theme. But when do I know if it’s a compulsion or if it’s just me googling something?
I do the exact same thing I’m struggling with that currently right now over the most ridiculous stuff too
@@mrhunter2154 yeah i was there, i stopped googling anything at all, googling to get relief from your ocd only makes it worse tbh.
@@Bjooooom exactly, I’ve wasted so many hours of my free time doing that the last 6 months making a stand today to start working on that
We surely find your videos helpful 😙😙😙
I feel relieved by listening to what you says.
Thank you so much
🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏🙏
Compulsions are a RELIEF from the "FEELING" NOT the "FEAR" ...only those that CONFUSE the two are missing the point. THE DISTRACTIONS that the FEELING causes and the UNCOMFORT is why the compulsion seems like the less of two evils'.
So, one says "I ain't gonna do this "compulsion" and lives with the FEEING of uneasiness AND while doing THAT they are in TOTAL unproductive and unease of mind.
THAT is how they end up AVOIDING things. Now for those who (like me) used to say "my HOME is my CLEAN ZONE" and the REST of the world (including the font lawn) is ocd FEELING, we could at least carry on UNTIL I get home and then I have to de-con BEFORE I have my WIFE "help" me into the house and she cleans up where I tread and then I shower and then I get the "AHHHH" feeling (until I have to GO OUT and do it all over again tomorrow !!)
I could kick my PARNETS in the ASS for making ME...having ODC is such a PITA that it would be BETTER to NOT have been born. AND IF I KNEW that is was genetic in nature I would have gotten STERILISED before I mad ANY kids to suffer this CRAP !!
Thank you.Thank you very much.Now I know the Fault. God bless you
It’s like: “If I don’t finish this something bad will happen”
That is a great help angel Ali .
There's so much I want to say, but I just had a big ugly cry and don't understand why, but I feel like I have to at least say - Thank you.
Everything always seems so cheesy and fake, I feel like for once we're actually talking about the same thing.
Wow- SUCH a helpful video! Thank you so much xxx
I really needed this video, thank you, I’m starting today
This is so true but I've put up with it far too long. After 16 years, I don't know if I can stop it now.
I pack my bag according to the alphabetical order. I used to pack my bag for school in this way. Arabic book first, then biology, chemistry... Like this. Is this ocd?
It wastes a lot of my time.
And i study same chapters again and again. Even if I ve thoroughly understood the chapter. And i don't get time to study chapters i haven't studied. And I get low marks. And teachers ask me why do u get low marks even after being really bright. But then i didn't know i had ocd.
Now i know but there's no one to listen to me. My parents are not educated. So they don't believe such a disease exists. So they think I'm lazy.
Now I have ocd in organising. It's taking different different forms. In childhood I had the habit of washing my plates repeatedly. But I stopped that habit by trying really hard. But that ocd I think takes another form. I think it'll accompany me till grave.
To anyone who sees this, Jesus loves you and came to earth and died on a cross as the perfect sacrifice to save you from your sin! Then he rose on the 3rd day to conquer sin! He wants you to believe in Him and repent of your sins, ask God for forgiveness, and accept Jesus as your personal Lord and Savior!
Thank you Jesus for helping me with this
I trust that you are helping me every day ❤️
@@eastonradnidgeradnidge4016 me too
Amen
Jesus didn't do shit. Thank the psychologists
@@joshstarling9422And who created the Psychologists? God, his one and only son Jesus Christ, and the Holy Spirit.
What u all said in the video is so true and I'm feeling and trying to do every bit I can to help my OCD compulsion but its so bloody hard not to!! But il try my best to do so!!
Is watching her videos endlessly a compulsion of reassurance???
I'm starting my HOCD recovery and it's going to be hard but everyday I'm going to. Come back to this
Day #1 scared and going to start recovery
My only solution that worked for me is having another fear replace my current one. But OCD is still there.
You saying "you know" all the time is really triggering my OCD lol 😆
What to do when you have a compulsions before to take a sleep. Its hard when you don't do the compulsions. The thoughts won't go away
I don't know how to thank you enough
I get so stressed in school that i always leave the google meet and end up throwing stuff around and kicking around. I dont know what to look ip that will help me..
Thank you very much Ali!!😍
This saved me 40 pounds on therapy to find out this in 7 minutes lol, but if I knew all u were gonna say is fight it and just stop doing it I wouldn't have bothered watching it, coz I can't stop that's what ocd is
Thank you so much
I honestly think I got ocd because I suck at remembering stuff and started obsessing over remebering to remember it and then it just got worse and worse