One thing I never hear about is the result of the huge divorce rate. There is a huge damage to psyche of boys by listening to the relentless verbal bashing of their father by their mother after divorce. This was the reality for every single friend I had growing up. I don't think this is ever taken into consideration, but it has been, by far, the #1 reason I have had difficulty with confidence in securing relationships. It has made me reticent to get into relationships more than anything else. Why would I want to be in a relationship with someone who would bash me as much as my mom bashed my dad? And a few minute on TikTok reveals that this pattern of behavior is probably even more prevalent today that it was 50 years ago.
Yeah, you don't have to put up with that. Turns out there's lots of wonderful places in this world you can go where people are sane, reasonable, and treat one another with digity and respect. Keep your head up, go and see the world. You won't be disappointed.
All I see is people getting married, into relationships and starting to build their own families. No one in my circle is single. Even co workers or pretty much anyone I meet in their mid to late 20s. Everytime I see a guy that I’m attracted to I don’t even bother speaking to him because the chances of a man in his late 20s being in a relationship are very very high. I’m single because there’s barely anyone left 🤷🏻♀️ I feel like the best thing to do is couple up with someone in your early to mid 20s. Dating apps aren’t my thing and to be honest, most people say they’ve had bad experiences with them, and become frustrated pretty quickly. Dating nowadays is just a nightmare. It’s my least favourite thing to do and feels like a chore. It’s not fun for me at all.
Must be tough, I get that. Don't wait to hit the wall to switch up your approach though. Change your mindset and it'll change your life. Insanity is doing the dame thing over and over again hoping for different results, and consistently that's the #1 thing holding people back from everything they want in life, is they refuse to switch up their approach, usually out of pride. There's no glory in willful ignorance. Just change it up maybe. You'll be good, you're not alone. You'll figure it out.
Financial constraints was listed in the study as a reason for not dating, however it did not score very highly. As I mentioned in the video, I only talked about the two highest scores for each category - I would recommend reading the study if you're interested.
I was surprised that the topic of female hypergamy did not come up, particularly when coupled with the dramatic increase in female academic and professional success. Women have traditionally wanted to 'pair-up" and marry men with higher economic status. The diminishing college graduation rates for men makes them less desirable as mates
I like the study critic at the end and the promotion of further researches about that. Indeed it will be great to seek qualitative researches about this subject. One of the reasons from my perspective could be the paradox of choice linked to the mismatch problem. Nowadays it seems we have too many options, different way of life vs. not enough time too process all the information. How to choose the right partner ? It's an important decision that could badly impact your life. Choosing singleness could be a freeze reaction or preservation response.
I thought it would be the single life for me for the long run. But I met my boyfriend. But it is a choice like everyday I choose to be with him and he chooses to be with me. And we work on it all the time because it means that much to each other.
Love the limitations you highlighted. It might also be interesting to explore the environment these participants grew up in, that might have contributed to how they feel today.
Me choosing to finish my degree and get a job before I try and start any relationship. Watching this video and realising evolution made choose to do that.
Had to take care of my boomer parents for my 20s it’s soul crushing and left me with mental illness. I have so many resentments with them, and I’m working on getting out. CPTSD ruins my chances of dating when it comes up no matter my best efforts I hate it.
Boomers are such an entitled generation and so many are happy to destroy one or more of their children’s lives to make them feel good about themselves.
I thought I will live single till I become older and much more stable but BAM! comes the best women any guy can ask for. Mature, intelligent, pretty and mommy so much. I'll do anything to keep her happy and comfortable. We have such great chemistry. Have hope people! Don't fall for incel or feminism it's better than we see in news or media.
The experienced a growing up with divorced parents, the late boomers in the mid 80s and 90s started getting divorced at mass even if your parents were happy married you seen mary friends parents not which made young fear of committed relationships as seen what happened and must cases the kids of the family would be closer to the parent that was more damaged
Thank you for summarising this study! I have a bit of a hard time reading through academic papers and processing tables and long strings of info, but am interested in their contents.. So thank you so much!! 🦢
One thing I never hear about is the result of the huge divorce rate. There is a huge damage to psyche of boys by listening to the relentless verbal bashing of their father by their mother after divorce. This was the reality for every single friend I had growing up. I don't think this is ever taken into consideration, but it has been, by far, the #1 reason I have had difficulty with confidence in securing relationships. It has made me reticent to get into relationships more than anything else. Why would I want to be in a relationship with someone who would bash me as much as my mom bashed my dad? And a few minute on TikTok reveals that this pattern of behavior is probably even more prevalent today that it was 50 years ago.
Yeah, you don't have to put up with that. Turns out there's lots of wonderful places in this world you can go where people are sane, reasonable, and treat one another with digity and respect. Keep your head up, go and see the world. You won't be disappointed.
All I see is people getting married, into relationships and starting to build their own families. No one in my circle is single. Even co workers or pretty much anyone I meet in their mid to late 20s. Everytime I see a guy that I’m attracted to I don’t even bother speaking to him because the chances of a man in his late 20s being in a relationship are very very high. I’m single because there’s barely anyone left 🤷🏻♀️
I feel like the best thing to do is couple up with someone in your early to mid 20s.
Dating apps aren’t my thing and to be honest, most people say they’ve had bad experiences with them, and become frustrated pretty quickly.
Dating nowadays is just a nightmare. It’s my least favourite thing to do and feels like a chore. It’s not fun for me at all.
Where are you from? I know many single people here in Czechia.
Must be tough, I get that. Don't wait to hit the wall to switch up your approach though. Change your mindset and it'll change your life. Insanity is doing the dame thing over and over again hoping for different results, and consistently that's the #1 thing holding people back from everything they want in life, is they refuse to switch up their approach, usually out of pride. There's no glory in willful ignorance. Just change it up maybe. You'll be good, you're not alone. You'll figure it out.
The fact that this study did not consider financial constraints a s reason for decline in relationships tells me that this was a pretty stupid study.
Isn’t it usually a reason to stay together?
It did though.
Financial constraints was listed in the study as a reason for not dating, however it did not score very highly. As I mentioned in the video, I only talked about the two highest scores for each category - I would recommend reading the study if you're interested.
I was surprised that the topic of female hypergamy did not come up, particularly when coupled with the dramatic increase in female academic and professional success. Women have traditionally wanted to 'pair-up" and marry men with higher economic status. The diminishing college graduation rates for men makes them less desirable as mates
I like the study critic at the end and the promotion of further researches about that. Indeed it will be great to seek qualitative researches about this subject.
One of the reasons from my perspective could be the paradox of choice linked to the mismatch problem. Nowadays it seems we have too many options, different way of life vs. not enough time too process all the information. How to choose the right partner ? It's an important decision that could badly impact your life. Choosing singleness could be a freeze reaction or preservation response.
I thought it would be the single life for me for the long run. But I met my boyfriend. But it is a choice like everyday I choose to be with him and he chooses to be with me. And we work on it all the time because it means that much to each other.
That’s really special you both keep making the conscious choice - relationships require work. Glad to hear you both keep showing up 🙂
@@kathleenanne thank you!! ❤️ I totally agree.
Love the limitations you highlighted. It might also be interesting to explore the environment these participants grew up in, that might have contributed to how they feel today.
Really good point, it would have been interesting to learn about their attachment styles!
Once past teenage years, there is clarity that relationships are business arrangements. You can't love for free.
Great video Kathleen! Loving your tiktoks too 🎉
Thanks so much for the kind words! Glad you love the TikTok’s 😄
Me choosing to finish my degree and get a job before I try and start any relationship. Watching this video and realising evolution made choose to do that.
Had to take care of my boomer parents for my 20s it’s soul crushing and left me with mental illness.
I have so many resentments with them, and I’m working on getting out. CPTSD ruins my chances of dating when it comes up no matter my best efforts I hate it.
Boomers are such an entitled generation and so many are happy to destroy one or more of their children’s lives to make them feel good about themselves.
I thought I will live single till I become older and much more stable but BAM! comes the best women any guy can ask for. Mature, intelligent, pretty and mommy so much. I'll do anything to keep her happy and comfortable. We have such great chemistry. Have hope people! Don't fall for incel or feminism it's better than we see in news or media.
The experienced a growing up with divorced parents, the late boomers in the mid 80s and 90s started getting divorced at mass even if your parents were happy married you seen mary friends parents not which made young fear of committed relationships as seen what happened and must cases the kids of the family would be closer to the parent that was more damaged
Thank you for summarising this study! I have a bit of a hard time reading through academic papers and processing tables and long strings of info, but am interested in their contents.. So thank you so much!! 🦢