1. 1:05 - your intuition 2. 3:14 - hyper focused on their ex (derogatory or complimentary) 3. 6:10 - boundary violations and little snips of rage 4. 7:20 - early on jealousy and insecurities. 5. 9:35 - how they treat other people 6. 10:56 - lack of empathy 7. 12:04 - super sensitive to jokes and teasing or being told no ~~~ 13:35 - bring cohost back on 14:30 - story time ~~~ 8. 18:55 - drip honesty 9. 57:40 - fear-mongering you to stay in the toxic relationship
Within two minutes of meeting him he told me of his early childhood trauma. Of course I felt like this man needs someone to love him. OMG! Kept seeing him and he acted like a traumatized out of control toddler !
My ex never talked about his ex's, I had to ask questions, he never volunteered info. The Red Flags I can remember are 1. Wanting to get into the relationship fast. 2. Controlling 3. Jeckl and Mr. Hyde 4. Hiding Things 5. Able to go into a Rage and then acting like nothing happened 6. Jealous of me having friends 7. Driving real fast and then stopping 8. Saying disrespectful things for no reason 9. Going thru my ph, throwing things, damaging my things, 10. Lack of empathy, 11. I lived in eggshells 12. Started pinching, pushing, then finally punching me in my stomach, that was the last straw 13. Like Lee said trust your gut instincts!! It doesn't get better, don't stay in this relationship!! Get out as soon as you can!! I didn't get out until five years. Don't wait like I did, I ended having to get a restraining order, file a police report, etc. When you end it, don't go back!!
OMG they are everywhere 🥺 So glad you got out, I too faced very similar scenarios and it was always MY fault he acted that way. I should’ve know when he told me of his suicide tendencies due to his family. I too thought he needed someone, he only needed someone to take his trauma out on. And the hiding….. he told me all the time I did what I wanted. When in reality it was all him. And According to him I was the one who needed help. We know now we deserve better, they were a huge lesson learned. Glad you got out
@@Pandan1351 Thank you . Yes I wouldn't ignore any of these signs today. I will never again let anyone rush me into a relationship. That was my first Red Flag. I am so Thankful I did get out. I first learned about Narcissism from Dr. Ramani. Her video came to my ph after I had called the Domestic hotline. I remember my ex sometimes when he would go into a Rage, he would say you don't know who you are dealing with. It was very scary just to know he didn't care about threatening and putting his hands on me. I would tell anyone don't trust background checks! When I googled his name recently to see if the PTO comes up and the assault charges after I filed the police report, none of these are on there. On the report it states he paid to have info not included. You have to trust your instincts and go by a person's actions. I did get my security system and cameras installed after my ex slashed all four of my tires six months after I had the PTO in place. I stay alert even to this day. But Thank you again for sharing and I hope you too stay free from Toxic relationships.
Red flags I overlooked was him being married 3 times and each one cheated on him and he was faithful, him telling me how mad he got because one of his ex wives and himself use to work together at a job and she changed shifts, him not liking the fact that my clients which were males at my job would come into my office and enjoyed talking to me, he told me they liked me and I was encouraging it, him telling me he was in love with me within a months time, him becoming angry because I refused to give up my home to move in with him and him becoming angry because I didn't agree with him and devaluing me and I started to cry and he said oh here we go and the list goes on
It's been a year and a half since I have been out of my Toxic relationship, I stay observant to my surroundings, I'm not going to allow anyone to rush me into relationship again. I enjoy my own company. Learn to enjoy being with yourself so you can make sure you watch the next person who tries to come into your life. Pay attention to their actions, pay attention to what they say, their tone, their intentions.
@@haileymarkus3240Thank you for sharing your story! I feel weird saying the word “proud” because I feel like it creates a hierarchy but hopefully you know what I mean when I say I’m proud of you for recognizing the red flags and maintaining your boundaries! Way to friggin go!
I coukd tell someone had mistreated my ex soon after we started talking. At first, I thought it was the ex whom he married young but thats to Narc vids being fed to me, I started to see. The red flags were there but I was so lonley I ignored them. I became so emmotionally connected to him, I didnt care. Had never heard of Narcissism, like so many of us hadn't. Even though I have to put up with those nasty deodorant commercials, I watch Lee and others who know what they're trying to relate to us.
I also discovered that this person didn’t like to be proven wrong. Lots of suppressed rage and tantrums when things didn’t go his way. Emotionally unstable and very inconsistent which reaped turmoil, crazymaking, and chaos.
Thanks Lee I have been educating myself through your channel and I feel so empowered. I've been dealing with a narc, infact i didn't realize all that i was going through. Knowledge is power ✌️
Bang on Intro 🌀 - Notes for self: Intuition (Hunches), Exes even in good light, Boundary Violations, Snapping (Glimpses of who they actually are), Jealousy and insecurities, How they treat others Lack of Empathy (No care or compassion) Sensitive to criticism
Can you make a longer video on Deprogramming after a Toxic relationship 51:41 and healing. The loss of mental anatomy, self-blame and detoxing. Your videos are very helpful on the healing journey Lee.
for me.. first and biggest red flag... us the love bombing... the love you's ..talkin about kids..and showering with compliments... I cannot stand it on a regular... so when a narc does this.. I smell it before it stinks. and THEN.. when it is Calle out.. they will right away ..claim to be the goodman and I am the toxic woman who doesnt want a goodman.. and thats why im single.. the insult always comes after YOUR honesty lol it's so predictable.. it is ridiculous.
The nonstop compliments I loved from one of my boyfriends in the beginning but looking back now huge red flag bc in my experience once they stop you NEVER will hear them again.. AND they start to use your beauty/looks against you as in you like the attention from men, putting on regulsr makeup was being a whore /going to cheat ,ect..anytime it starts out that way, or if its too good to be true 🏃♀️ run
That was such a good feeling to leave my severe abuser. I had Stockholm syndrome and the BEST thing that ever happened was him coming to Canada. He attacked me and i have many professionals from victim services working with me. I got help to break free from the bastard.
ALL OF HIS EXES WERE IN DIFFERENT STATES! It was a lot easier being a covert narcissist in church without the Internet. He's 71 and his 7th marriage ended last year.
I am so intrigued about ur accountability and courage to help others... I was a victim but no more! Don't know how to feel tho .. hopefully I just get to be happy, no matter who's around.
Knowledge is power thank you for this video. I always look forward to the another video. thanks for helping me understand the mind of a narc. Its so liberating for sure.
I just got away from a covert after 4.5 years. I made so many excuses until the blinders came off. The lying, emotional abuse, and manipulation are so obvious now and I’m trying to process this from a new perspective. Even after I would record how he would speak to me, I still made excuses. When you mention narcissistic insecurity, I recognize that in myself. Can you talk about the differences between someone who has trauma and exhibits trauma responses in relationships vs a narcissist who is manipulating for personal gain?
I live at a apartment building I have a malignant grandiose narcissist above me below me and across the parking lot one has a super loud car it wakes me up he don't give a shit he revs his engine and acts too cool too good so on the one below me flips out when people don't close the door to the building etc people above me fight stomp play music too loud etc then the cleaner guy who comes is a narcissist who thinks he's the best their is I'm surrounded by them 😪😪😪😪
On our first date he told me his ex/ baby mother was crazy and he was a victim 🚩as Lee said I brushed the red flag out the way. I will trust my gut more and observe the red flags
OMFG when I met my husband he told me he feels weird when people cry around him and I am a cryer smh. That always stood out to me and after we got married he started saying my crying was just a guilt trip smh. That made me feel so disrespected and unheard smh
I have a question , what separates someone from having narcissistic traits to having narcissistic personality disorder ? One has more traits based on the DSM 5 or ? What separates the two ?
A marriage therapist told me I was controlling because I wanted to know my spouses friends that I only met once 6yrs ago , no conversations or anything. (All female ) They hang out once or twice a month and I'm never invited though I expressed concern and want to be included sometimes. After everything, I found that there were more than the 3 I knew about , 5-6 females.
Watch out for these red flags All My exes cheated on me All My exes was abusive All My exes want me back or I'm thinking about getting back with my ex...
I'm met him .. Memorial Day weekend went dancing with my cousin. We danced a couple of songs. And then. He said he was gonna go get? A drink didn't ask me if I want one somebody else to ask me to dance? Yes. Look over and hes glaring at me like I'm cheating on him or something didn't even know him something made me go. Oh I'm sorry I have to go now. It's like yeah to hold a mean like a vampire. It's really strange. First red flag but I didn't see it right away didn't recognize I was only twenty.
I tried to talk to my son but my husband has already turned both on my children into flying monkeys. My son is 18.... Hes my heart. My husband made sure that he put a lot of space between us and now. My son is becoming a narcissist right in front of me breaking my heart. My daughter has always been around that hes finger. I'm so sick of this is 31 years and now I have 3 toxic people against me. They're saying that I'm crazy because it's 3 against 1. I know better it's so evil I can't stand being here. I have to have an exit plan.😢
I text? Myself or email? Myself or I'll text myself and then email a picture of that to me and put it in a volunteer folder. I No he'll never look through. I have been gathering information for Uber 6 years. Now d*** i* I need to put it into action and pray that I get the right attorney.
I think what people want to know is that is it possible for non narcissist have healthy relationships with the narcissist that they love especially if they are a family member?
Red flag, 46 years old never been married, Another good one can't have no more kids lying saying her last kid almost killed her, so she had a hysterectomy...
1. 1:05 - your intuition
2. 3:14 - hyper focused on their ex (derogatory or complimentary)
3. 6:10 - boundary violations and little snips of rage
4. 7:20 - early on jealousy and insecurities.
5. 9:35 - how they treat other people
6. 10:56 - lack of empathy
7. 12:04 - super sensitive to jokes and teasing or being told no
~~~
13:35 - bring cohost back on
14:30 - story time
~~~
8. 18:55 - drip honesty
9. 57:40 - fear-mongering you to stay in the toxic relationship
🙏 Thank you
@@MentalHealness thank you for the info and for also replying. Many you tubers don’t reply to their comments but your attention is appreciated.
@@MentalHealness also, thank you for pinning me!!
Within two minutes of meeting him he told me of his early childhood trauma. Of course I felt like this man needs someone to love him. OMG! Kept seeing him and he acted like a traumatized out of control toddler !
😫
I can relate to that
I can also relate
Their trauma gives you trauma too
Yessss
My ex never talked about his ex's, I had to ask questions, he never volunteered info.
The Red Flags I can remember are
1. Wanting to get into the relationship fast.
2. Controlling
3. Jeckl and Mr. Hyde
4. Hiding Things
5. Able to go into a Rage and then acting like nothing happened
6. Jealous of me having friends
7. Driving real fast and then stopping
8. Saying disrespectful things for no reason
9. Going thru my ph, throwing things, damaging my things,
10. Lack of empathy,
11. I lived in eggshells
12. Started pinching, pushing, then finally punching me in my stomach, that was the last straw
13. Like Lee said trust your gut instincts!! It doesn't get better, don't stay in this relationship!! Get out as soon as you can!! I didn't get out until five years. Don't wait like I did, I ended having to get a restraining order, file a police report, etc. When you end it, don't go back!!
‼️‼️
OMG they are everywhere 🥺
So glad you got out, I too faced very similar scenarios and it was always MY fault he acted that way.
I should’ve know when he told me of his suicide tendencies due to his family. I too thought he needed someone, he only needed someone to take his trauma out on. And the hiding….. he told me all the time I did what I wanted. When in reality it was all him.
And According to him I was the one who needed help.
We know now we deserve better, they were a huge lesson learned. Glad you got out
@@Pandan1351 Thank you . Yes I wouldn't ignore any of these signs today. I will never again let anyone rush me into a relationship. That was my first Red Flag. I am so Thankful I did get out. I first learned about Narcissism from Dr. Ramani. Her video came to my ph after I had called the Domestic hotline. I remember my ex sometimes when he would go into a Rage, he would say you don't know who you are dealing with. It was very scary just to know he didn't care about threatening and putting his hands on me. I would tell anyone don't trust background checks! When I googled his name recently to see if the PTO comes up and the assault charges after I filed the police report, none of these are on there. On the report it states
he paid to have info not included. You have to trust your instincts and go by a person's actions. I did get my security system and cameras installed after my ex slashed all four of my tires six months after I had the PTO in place. I stay alert even to this day. But Thank you again for sharing and I hope you too stay free from Toxic relationships.
Almost all of these are exactly what I went through
Red flags I overlooked was him being married 3 times and each one cheated on him and he was faithful, him telling me how mad he got because one of his ex wives and himself use to work together at a job and she changed shifts, him not liking the fact that my clients which were males at my job would come into my office and enjoyed talking to me, he told me they liked me and I was encouraging it, him telling me he was in love with me within a months time, him becoming angry because I refused to give up my home to move in with him and him becoming angry because I didn't agree with him and devaluing me and I started to cry and he said oh here we go and the list goes on
Oh wow
It’s like you’re describing my relationship these past 4 years. I’m free but I realized I am still processing trauma from the abuse
💯
It's been a year and a half since I have been out of my Toxic relationship, I stay observant to my surroundings, I'm not going to allow anyone to rush me into relationship again. I enjoy my own company. Learn to enjoy being with yourself so you can make sure you watch the next person who tries to come into your life. Pay attention to their actions, pay attention to what they say, their tone, their intentions.
Thanks for having me on last night and letting me tell my story
Thank you for coming on
@@MentalHealnessyou’re more than welcome to add my story on your RUclips as a separate video or short and make it a tik tok
@@haileymarkus3240Thank you for sharing your story! I feel weird saying the word “proud” because I feel like it creates a hierarchy but hopefully you know what I mean when I say I’m proud of you for recognizing the red flags and maintaining your boundaries! Way to friggin go!
@@IntuitiveLibby 🙏 thank you 😊
I coukd tell someone had mistreated my ex soon after we started talking. At first, I thought it was the ex whom he married young but thats to Narc vids being fed to me, I started to see. The red flags were there but I was so lonley I ignored them. I became so emmotionally connected to him, I didnt care. Had never heard of Narcissism, like so many of us hadn't. Even though I have to put up with those nasty deodorant commercials, I watch Lee and others who know what they're trying to relate to us.
I also discovered that this person didn’t like to be proven wrong. Lots of suppressed rage and tantrums when things didn’t go his way. Emotionally unstable and very inconsistent which reaped turmoil, crazymaking, and chaos.
Thanks Lee I have been educating myself through your channel and I feel so empowered. I've been dealing with a narc, infact i didn't realize all that i was going through. Knowledge is power ✌️
Stay empowered
Bang on Intro 🌀 -
Notes for self:
Intuition (Hunches), Exes even in good light,
Boundary Violations, Snapping (Glimpses of who they actually are),
Jealousy and insecurities, How they treat others
Lack of Empathy (No care or compassion)
Sensitive to criticism
🙌🏾
Can you make a longer video on Deprogramming after a Toxic relationship 51:41 and healing. The loss of mental anatomy, self-blame and detoxing. Your videos are very helpful on the healing journey Lee.
I will soon
❤
Oh yeah the instant rage. It was shocking and I made excuses until I couldn’t anymore
💯
for me.. first and biggest red flag... us the love bombing...
the love you's ..talkin about kids..and showering with compliments... I cannot stand it on a regular... so when a narc does this.. I smell it before it stinks. and THEN.. when it is Calle out.. they will right away ..claim to be the goodman and I am the toxic woman who doesnt want a goodman.. and thats why im single..
the insult always comes after YOUR honesty lol
it's so predictable.. it is ridiculous.
The nonstop compliments I loved from one of my boyfriends in the beginning but looking back now huge red flag bc in my experience once they stop you NEVER will hear them again.. AND they start to use your beauty/looks against you as in you like the attention from men, putting on regulsr makeup was being a whore /going to cheat ,ect..anytime it starts out that way, or if its too good to be true 🏃♀️ run
That was such a good feeling to leave my severe abuser. I had Stockholm syndrome and the BEST thing that ever happened was him coming to Canada. He attacked me and i have many professionals from victim services working with me. I got help to break free from the bastard.
Stay safe!
Sincerely, thank you Lee 😊
ALL OF HIS EXES WERE IN DIFFERENT STATES! It was a lot easier being a covert narcissist in church without the Internet. He's 71 and his 7th marriage ended last year.
7th !?!?
Thank you Lee for creating this channel, so much insight for all. I'll keep suggesting your channel to anyone I know.
you’re welcome
I am so intrigued about ur accountability and courage to help others... I was a victim but no more! Don't know how to feel tho .. hopefully I just get to be happy, no matter who's around.
Stay strong. Happiness is on the horizon
Knowledge is power thank you for this video. I always look forward to the another video. thanks for helping me understand the mind of a narc. Its so liberating for sure.
My pleasure!
I just got away from a covert after 4.5 years. I made so many excuses until the blinders came off. The lying, emotional abuse, and manipulation are so obvious now and I’m trying to process this from a new perspective. Even after I would record how he would speak to me, I still made excuses. When you mention narcissistic insecurity, I recognize that in myself. Can you talk about the differences between someone who has trauma and exhibits trauma responses in relationships vs a narcissist who is manipulating for personal gain?
This is soooooo helpful because all this stuff was sooo weird to me when I look back at past situation
🙏🏽
Club Lee - VIP Members Only Link: ruclips.net/user/live51HUkK11iZw?feature=share
I live at a apartment building I have a malignant grandiose narcissist above me below me and across the parking lot one has a super loud car it wakes me up he don't give a shit he revs his engine and acts too cool too good so on the one below me flips out when people don't close the door to the building etc people above me fight stomp play music too loud etc then the cleaner guy who comes is a narcissist who thinks he's the best their is I'm surrounded by them 😪😪😪😪
😫 that’s tough
This is great!! Lee I love it!
Thank you
That intuition one is 100% correct
💯💯
On our first date he told me his ex/ baby mother was crazy and he was a victim 🚩as Lee said I brushed the red flag out the way. I will trust my gut more and observe the red flags
Trusting your intuition can save you
OMFG when I met my husband he told me he feels weird when people cry around him and I am a cryer smh. That always stood out to me and after we got married he started saying my crying was just a guilt trip smh. That made me feel so disrespected and unheard smh
Oh my goodness
All these narcissistic traits were exacerbated when he had his SZ episode this past year
I have a question , what separates someone from having narcissistic traits to having narcissistic personality disorder ? One has more traits based on the DSM 5 or ? What separates the two ?
A marriage therapist told me I was controlling because I wanted to know my spouses friends that I only met once 6yrs ago , no conversations or anything. (All female ) They hang out once or twice a month and I'm never invited though I expressed concern and want to be included sometimes. After everything, I found that there were more than the 3 I knew about , 5-6 females.
Yikes. Not everyone should be a counselor cause that sounds crazy
@@MentalHealness this was our FIRST session. She was also 80 yrs old.
Not Curve cologne. Dudes used to rock that heavy back in high school 🤣
Lol I used to rock it
Great video❤
Thank you!!
Watch out for these red flags All My exes cheated on me All My exes was abusive All My exes want me back or I'm thinking about getting back with my ex...
Running off with random people from her past! Nasty energy!
🏃🏼♂️
I'm met him .. Memorial Day weekend went dancing with my cousin. We danced a couple of songs. And then. He said he was gonna go get? A drink didn't ask me if I want one somebody else to ask me to dance? Yes. Look over and hes glaring at me like I'm cheating on him or something didn't even know him something made me go. Oh I'm sorry I have to go now. It's like yeah to hold a mean like a vampire. It's really strange. First red flag but I didn't see it right away didn't recognize I was only twenty.
😮💨😮💨
On our first date, he said the waiter was flirting with me.
🤨
😂, about the red flag Frfr
😂
I tried to talk to my son but my husband has already turned both on my children into flying monkeys. My son is 18.... Hes my heart. My husband made sure that he put a lot of space between us and now. My son is becoming a narcissist right in front of me breaking my heart. My daughter has always been around that hes finger. I'm so sick of this is 31 years and now I have 3 toxic people against me. They're saying that I'm crazy because it's 3 against 1. I know better it's so evil I can't stand being here. I have to have an exit plan.😢
😫😫
Get out and leave them to it. You need to get yourself good because your children will need you in the furture .
I text? Myself or email? Myself or I'll text myself and then email a picture of that to me and put it in a volunteer folder. I No he'll never look through. I have been gathering information for Uber 6 years. Now d*** i* I need to put it into action and pray that I get the right attorney.
😫
10.37 relatable 😂
😆
@@MentalHealness Sir, how can I consult you?
Two minute to mention or count like she said snowing angels
😇😇
I watched you last night on fatal attraction named Chris 😍
yep yep
I think what people want to know is that is it possible for non narcissist have healthy relationships with the narcissist that they love especially if they are a family member?
I'm over 60. There's no way to have a healthy relationship with a narcissist.
healthy relationships dont really exist with narcissistic people
Tell me more
😊
Not he reviewed the name of Jesus
Red flag, 46 years old never been married, Another good one can't have no more kids lying saying her last kid almost killed her, so she had a hysterectomy...