I actually went to primary school with a girl who had selective mutism!! When spoken to by a teacher, she would not speak a word... not even for the fire alarm. No matter how many times the teachers told her (sometimes even told her off) for not saying “here” for the fire drill, she would not say a word. She wouldn’t even smile either. But in the playground with her friends she would be smiling and talking.
@@jazminegunnulson6939 it’s not sorry for me... ? I actually recently got back in touch with the girl and she’s doing so much better ☺️ now has two children.
@Nxthing completely agree x unfortunately, even though I’m only 26, I came from a time where there was a lot less mental health awareness and so on. They didn’t brand her as a naughty child or anything, but they sure didn’t help.
I do the same thing, but I don't know if selective mutism has to be diagnosed or not, but I do have the problem that I literally can't get a words out when teachers talks to me, especially when the other students are in the class, but when I'm with my friends, I can talk.
I was like this too! Didn’t smile or speak. I even managed to get a boyfriend in 7th and all 6months together, I never spoke to him. I’m better and i’m glad that girl is too!
It’s so hard being able to talk around most of my family but then when it’s someone different, I just can’t talk. It’s not like I don’t want to, I just can’t. I think the worst part is people just think I’m rude when I just can’t talk. It’s hard being non-verbal sometimes. 💕
We're you nonverbal all your life? My son who is 6 has a diagnosis of severe stage 3 autism and he has been nonverbal his whole life. He's never said a single word. He's only just started learning to do sign language in the last 2 months. Other than that he has no forms of communication other that occasionally pointing or taking us to what he wants. He doesn't even use body language communication like nodding or shrugging. We hope that one day he'll eventually start to talk but at this point we don't really think he will. Is there anything you can think of that might have helped you to talk some if you eventually did?
@@Xessa82 i’m not non-verbal all the time, i have non-verbal episodes when i’m really overwhelmed or in a situation that’s difficult for me. have you tried using visual cues? for example, you could have cards with pictures of things that he might want/need eg. pictures of food so he can point to it when he’s hungry, or a picture of a toilet so he can tell you when he needs it - that sort of thing is helpful for me. i also write things down when i can’t say them out loud but i’m not sure if your son has those skills yet. it sounds like you’re doing a really good job, well done - i hope this helps! :)
I was friends with someone who was selectively mute in middle school. She never said a word in class or to me, but she would smile and nod at my jokes or questions and that was enough for me. I hated how other people would try to befriend her and be nice to ‘get her to talk to them.’ I didn’t care if she never spoke to me, I could tell she enjoyed being around me so she was my friend and I had no expectations. Plus I’m chatty enough to carry on a convo for two and she was a good listener who payed attention to my dramatic stories. When she came to my birthdays I saw her whispering to her mom and brother so I think she was mute to people outside her house. I didn't know the word selectively mute or anything at the time, so its only now I realize this We went to different high schools. Two years after middle school we met up in a mall and when I walked up to her she said hi and spoke a bit. I was surprised of course because I’d been friends with her for 5 years in middle/elementary and she never spoke. But I didn’t comment on it at all because while that’s great for her I know people don’t like being made a spectacle of. So I just smiled and said hi back and then we went for lunch. Was nice. Too bad we lost contact
I was just like your friend. My middle school friend was very much like you, I ended up moving countries after 1 year of meeting her but she is the one who made me feel comfortable enough to start talking again, we started by writing notes and even though I never saw her again I always think about her and I am so grateful I had her for as long as I did. We would laugh so much and I always hope I’ll run into her someday, but that’s just life. Thank you for being so fabulous ✌🏼
ahh i was exactly like your friend, and i also experienced people using me to get me to talk so they would get praised by the teacher and stuff. she's so lucky that she had you growing up, you're a real one!
@@Penguinstudios123 as long as we're not making fun of the disorder, I think it's okay tho? But yh, it is kind of a sensitive thing to say. But sometimes complimenting them can make them feel a bit better about that condition , since it's something they have to live with for their entire lives maybe
it freaks me out! Fishes are intelligent! And they are not meant to be alone. I dont believe that she is are bad person. But cmon guys, pls try to empathize with ur pets or ur food. wake up... all animals have awareness and needs. Stop denying it.
This made me realise I might of had selective mutism in school… the teachers never heard me speak, even when they asked me a direct question, i just couldn’t respond verbally. I remember feeling scared because no one understood and I was bullied quite badly for it. Everyone thought I was just rude. I’ll never forget the teachers antagonising me in front of the whole class. Asking me a question and then saying “we can wait all day if we have to” or “you’re holding the class up again” But it seemed no one acknowledged me as a person with feelings because I didn’t speak, so I guess it went unnoticed! I hope schools offer more support these days rather than picking on kids with anxiety. Thank you for sharing your story. You helped me solve mine
@@quiplo_ I’m sorry to hear you went through that without the chance of being understood or having proper support. No one deserved to be treated like that, especially when it’s anxiety related. I hope you have overcome your mutism now. I think 10 - 15 years back, a child having a mental illness didn’t exist or was completely overlooked, so if you were the black sheep who struggled, it was easier for people to treat you like an underdeveloped piece of trash sadly. 😓
Its still a thing :/ Kids with anxiety, or people that are quiet get picked on by the teachers, if they dont answer, their just gonnma keep picking them, as someone who got loads of anxiety for even answering a question, i always got picked on, and whenever i told my answer the teacher tells me to repeat it again, maybe its just my school that does this, but man, teachers really need to think about students that have horrible anxiety and needs to stop picking them
@@quiplo_ i dont get why people that are quiet are rude.. most quiet people i know are sweet hearts, their kind and its just upsetting when the quiet kids get picked on, i had many friends that were quiet and they were kind and i had a lot of fun being their friend even if they didnt really talk a lot
@@melonenjoyer one teacher used to despise me because I was shy. I also suffered from PTSD as a child, so my memory was bad and I didn’t understand what was going on around me. Once I plucked up the courage to answer a teachers question. She laughed, and said “you are just so stupid it’s ridiculous” she told the other teachers in class that day “listen to this” *she asked me a simple question, and of course I answer wrong. They laughed and one teacher said “I am so lucky my kids not retarded like that”
One of my classmates had selective mutism in high school. The teachers were so nice & never "forced" her to speak up or answer questions, they'd communicate on paper. Senior year you could even see her whispering with friends at school, it made me happy for her :)
Im an 18 year old girl and I've been mute around my Mum for the last year and a half and it's awful and scary. I'm so glad you're sharing you're experience. It makes me feel less alone. Thank you!💖
I u der stand if you don’t wanna say anything or respond but what do you mean by you were mute around your mom? Did you like never talk to your and have a bad relationship with her?
It should be called circumstantial mutism, the word selective makes people assume it’s a choice. Also, when you were mute, did you still have vocal tics or just physical tics?
@@laurenrobson46 No actually. I'm nonbinary and I go by Ryn but Google won't let me change my display name and re-subbing to everything on my new account is a lot of effort so I'm still using this account mostly. My legal name/deadname is also not Laurann or Lauren. I used Laurann as a display name before I chose the name Ryn because Laurann sounds similar to my Chinese name 朗然, which is gender-neutral and which I preferred for that reason. Sorry to disappoint. It's a nice name though :)
I feel like "situational mutism" would be a better term rather than selective because I think the use of that word is probably why there's so many misconceptions about it! Thank you for sharing your story 💕
My daughter stopped talking for about 6 months in school when she was 7. I found out some kids were teasing her about her speech impediment. I was so mad but her teacher was amazing and was a great support. She's still really anxious and scared to talk to people at 13 but she can if she really wants to. I love your videos ❤
As someone who had selective mutism and has bad social anxiety as an adult now I would highly recommend social groups for her or some group therapy because that really is what broke me out of it initially and having positive social interaction really boosts my confidence in social situations. The older you get the more it becomes a struggle so helping her now could prevent some bad anxiety later.
I still have selective mutism to this day, I will become mute when I'm under a lot of anxiety. I stream for a living and sometimes I go mute on stream, but we actually found out that because I also have Tourette's if the chat repeatedly triggers my vocal tics, after maybe 10 minutes I'll be out of it. Something about my tics forcing my voice out helps me reset my speech almost
She didnt answer this question exactly, but how does it FEEL? As in, do you feel afraid, even terrified, confused, just annoyed? I had a really anxious moment in my life where I felt totally frozen verbally. It happened exactly once to me, it was so weird. I was just looking at my gf screaming at me and was just totally silent. I had no idea what to tell her later, I must have seemed like such an asshole
For me it’s like that lump in your throat before you burst into tears, but I’m not going to cry and the lump doesn’t go away. I couldn’t control it for years, but now I’m a lot better, and I drink a cool glass of water in sips and I find that helps open up my throat, for me anyway, and then I let myself speak just one word at a time, even if I have to take a break between words to breathe and pause before I can say the next one. Otherwise I have communicated over text, by writing on my phone and showing whoever the message. Mine is only when I’m in a confrontational situation or I feel threatened, I think it’s just basically ptsd for me. So after a few hours it will come back gradually when I’m away from the situation. Now when I do talk and am having an episode, the more I talk the more it frees up my throat and stuff and the easier it gets, but the next time it happens I’ll be starting from square one again. It can vary in severity, sometimes it’s not so bad, other times it feels like I can’t breathe or swallow and I open my mouth but just can’t speak at all
I have autism and my selective mutism has gotten a lot worse over lockdown and I lost the ability to talk to extended family on zoom. I used to be able to talk a bit (only answering questions and very short sentences but I could still talk) but now I haven’t said anything to anyone other than my parents and my friend since January 2020 ever though I’ve been on zoom calls with them. I hope one day I can conquer it because I feel like my family don’t know me at all. I specifically remember the last thing I said to someone other than my parents and my friend, It was to my grandma who came over to lunch. She was there for about an hour and the only thing I said to her was “yes” when she asked me if I could swim lol.
In the question about comparing 'choice and selective', I think you could say that it's selective because the involuntary part of your brain chooses not to talk, while the voluntary part wants to talk but just can't?
As an autistic person who experiences selective mutism, I really appreciate you bringing this to light for more people because of how not talked about it is! It's also nice hearing that what I experience is not something I experience alone!
I was never a selective mute. I have very bad panic attacks that cause me to be unable to speak. U describe it perfectly. How u so badly want to talk but ur brain physically won’t let u. I’ve actually had people get mad at me for not talking during a panic attack. I’m really glad I found someone who can describe what goes on in someone’s head when ur physically unable to speak. I’m glad I know I’m not alone.💜
i feel like teachers really should have to learn about this topics (obviously not to a professionals level but enough so they know how to treat kids n young ppl properly) and anything related to neurodivergency because it’s so often heard how schools are where the major difficulty appears for anyone in the ND spectrum. it’s not fair that children are sometimes mistreated or punished for their circumstances or inabilities and it’s something we must change soon
It’s sad they even have to learn about, it should be enough for them to see a kid is having a difficult time and not make it more difficult by acting like an a-hole :( common sense isn’t so common though😓
(you are totally right! I just want to make clear that selective mutism is not a form of autism, and by some definitions not related to neurodivergency, it’s a really common misconception so I just wanted to point it out -although ND ppl and ppl w SM can have similar experiences)
@@Cosmo-Young oh i didn’t mean to say it was a form of autism, i ment that teachers should be more informed in mental health + neurodivergency as a whole, sorry for the confusion!
I was a child who struggled with selective mutism and mental health in general (& I suspect I’m ND as well) and I’m training to become a teacher (almost done with my degree :D). I absolutely agree and I hope I’ll be able to make a difference. 💕
I’ve been mute since I was around three years old when I started preschool. Even after seeing a psychologist, when I started school, I didn’t speak to teachers at all. I only had a few select friends who I felt comfortable enough to talk to, and even then I had to whisper to them so no one would hear me (there were cases where teachers would spy on me and my friends to hear me speak so I was kinda paranoid bc of that lolz). I started second grade in a new school in hopes I would speak there. It only got worse tho. In summary, I just finished 10th grade and I’m 16 and no one at school has ever heard my voice. For a long time, I was being threatened by my school to be kicked out if I didn’t make any progress regarding my sm. They always had sympathy tho and knew that I was holding up well at school with my grades and had lots of supportive friends. Because of quarantine, my mental health was at rock bottom (and still think it is) and I started to do really bad during online school. Now, I’ve been kicked out because I didn’t get any better with selective mutism, and as the “cherry on top” failed basically all my classes this year. I'm doing some admission tests now for a new school and hopefully get admitted in :’) I don’t want to go to a new school and start all over again and lose the connections I had at my old school. But I know it's for the better and new starts are always good. I'm just hoping that I will not make the same mistake again at my new school and have a promising future in school, college, and life :)
@@SG-cm3lz thank you so much for your kind words 💕💕It means a lot to me!! I hope you are doing better now and just keep improving :DD If u need anything I'm here to help!
Hey! Don't think it was your mistake, it's not something you are really choosing, so it's not a mistake. I'm sorry for the teachers who treated you badly... spying on someone when you know they don't want to do something in front of you, to catch them doing it, is breaking consent, is violence and not respecting boundaries. And teachers should be very good at teaching and respecting boundaries, it is a big part of what you learn in school, so that was a big mistake they made. You are doing a good job enrolling back into school! You are so brave, i dropped out of school and i know how hard it is to decide to try again. Be proud of yourself. You will find people who understand and don't pressure you while still encouraging you, it's doable ;)
this is one of the first times ive seen selective mutism in a title and also one of the first times ive actually commented on a video mainly because it makes me feel so much better knowing that someone else has been through something so close to me thank you for bringing awareness ❤️ you're incredible :)
Thank you for talking about this! I've had selective mutism for several years when I was a kid, and I stll have to deal with anxiety today. it's true, a lot of people have no idea of what selective mutism is, since it's something relatively rare. That's why talking about it is important! I am trying to spread awarness myself
I am a speech therapist and had a child with selective mutism on my caseload when I was in clinicals at my school. I didn’t know much about it that the time, and I really wish I had learned more about it in school. Thank you so much for sharing your story! I will keep it in mind going forward in my practice!
i myself have selective mutism, ive had it for about 14 years now, i can't get over it. ive tried meds and therapy, still doing the meds and therapy until this day. it definitely is something not a lot of people have heard of, i try to explain it to people i trust, and they understand. i have never said a word to most of my family members, which puts a lot more pressure on me. sometimes people don't understand which is then very hard to communicate, my teacher in the second grade didn't understand at all, she would force me to talk when i didn't feel comfortable in class. i love that you can talk about it and open up, im very proud knowing that you got over it!!
i feel you! i'm 23 and i just started talking to my teachers in school and my grandparents. it has taken years of therapy to be able to get more and more out of my shell, but i eventually got the courage to talk to some people i used to not talk to. it's so hard to get out of that "role" of being mute, and i never thought i'd be able to get out of it. i went to therapists growing up too, but it didn't help me. it wasn't until i was in my 20s that i finally started getting better, and maybe it was because i was more motivated, but i don't really know. but yeah, you're still very young, and it's never too late! i believe in you:)
You are valuable, your experience is valid and important for others to hear! I wish you and all others working on this condition the best of luck on your journey. You should be proud of yourself for every step you take.
I'm so happy you're talking about this, Evie you're the one that made me comfortable with my tourette and even learn about myself morn tho I had it for 11/12 years! I'm 21 now and I've dealt with selective mutism as long as I can remember from childhood till now, I wd get in trouble my whole life for being "moody" and not talking when that's not it and didn't know how to explain :( AND NOW THIS! The fact that u're talking aboht it makes everything way easier
This was really helpful for me because I’m a educational assistant with adhd and gad, so I have a heart for kids with disabilities and kids who won’t get diagnosed till later in life cause I wasn’t diagnosed till 20. I love to learn every way to help every type of child so they can have a positive school experience 💜
I have a friend with selective mutism and in school the teachers would always try force me to get them to speak to them or see me speaking to them and ask me questions like “how did you get them to speak to you” etc 😑
Thank you for opening up about this. My sister is 17 and currently in treatment for this. She’s had it since she was 10 but when she was 16 we finally started to get answers. She also has autism. Thankfully she speaks to me.. a lot. You Would never have guessed she has selective mutism by the way she yaps on to me haha. But I am so thankful she can talk to me since many of my other family haven’t ever heard her voice in years.
me: * was mute for 4 years and not knowing why * me: * a year later * "ah yes..selective mutism! still suffer with that to this day occasionally (i was 6 when i first suffered with it then when i was 10 i found out what it was-)
Woah really! I was diagnosed when I was really young.... my parents thought I had autism so they took me to a specialist and that’s when they figured out I had SM :)) I also still suffer a little from it :/
@@Blaird2006 wow- is there a reason why it happens? just your brain deciding that is to much to talk??? I am in shock that so many people suffer from this.
I've never experienced selective mutism but I have times that I am semi/non-verbal because I'm autistic. It's interesting to learn more about the similarities and differences between the two. Thank you for another lovely video
i'm so glad that you make videos and share these things. i have tics and selective mutism as well. growing up i had always felt so alone, or like something was wrong with me and it was somehow my fault that i couldn't do things everyone else so easily could. finding this online community has given me a whole new perspective. there is nothing bad or wrong with me, it's not my fault, and there are so many other people who have the same struggles and feel the same things. i've always had selective mutism but it became really severe when i was around 9 years old. it started with not being able to talk at school, then it pretty quickly turned into not being able to talk in public at all. i couldn't even talk to doctors so getting help was really hard. i spent quite a bit of time in inpatient because of it, because nobody understood what was going on. when i was 17-18, i was going out every day and working really hard to talk to people and expose myself to normal interactions. i got to a point where i could talk pretty much anywhere, even in class. however, being isolated during the pandemic completely destroyed that progress. i think i might even be worse off than i was during inpatient. now even the thought of going to the grocery store is enough to make me panic. because of this, i've been struggling a lot with my self esteem, but seeing this has helped to remind me that it's okay to struggle. hopefully when the pandemic ends i'll be able to make even more progress than before.
I was unable to talk in school, guys from old times (I'm on 40s now) still remember how quiet I were, they would rarely hear my voice except when I was "forced" by teacher to talk. And I still don't talk about it today, so it's great to see her so young being open about it. Surely it helps lots of young guys out there to feel better ✌
I’m very curious if your Tourette’s was affected when you had mutism. As In, did you still have verbal tics at college even though you couldn’t speak or did having mutism suppress your tics for that period of time. I’m just very curious how it affected you dealing with those very opposite conditions at the same time.
hihi !! personally, for me, as someone with selective mutism and tics. i still have verbal tics even though i'm not able to talk very much. neither things are a choice so mutism didn't rly suppress it for me. hope that makes sense i'm not very good at explaining things !!
@@emiliejayne_st huh I just went back to the video and I didn’t realize because she said her FND started at 18. I didn’t know what that was. I don’t follow her so I just assumed she has Tourette’s. I had no idea there was another syndrome that can cause someone to have tics. I learned something new.
I don’t have selective mutism but I have a lot of social anxiety and some of the things you were saying felt familiar to me.. even though I can talk I feel so horrible and closed in around some people and it’s physically impossible for me to break out of it and no one seems to get how I feel
Thank you for making this video, it was very educating :) A dear friend of mine had selective mutism when he was little. I feel sorry because of how his family made into into a big deal... even if he talked in many situations, it was just with certain people. I think that when a child has an issue with something, communicating to them the message there's "something wrong with them" is terrible, ethically unfair and also not very useful if you want to help them improve. You can accept their difficulties and still encourage them to work on getting better. It's also interesting how in many cases it happens with authority figures like teachers. It makes me think about how if school was different altogheter, with less authoritarian behaviour without a reason, and more individual care and focus on the student, people with struggles, disabilities, mental health issues etc would find it way easier.
Hey, Evie! Thanks so much for this Q&A and I hope you are feeling better. I once met a 13 y/o girl who had SM and whose family didn’t really understand the condition. They complained she talked just fine at home and only went silent when she was out in public, so they thought she was only doing it for attention. I had vaguely knew about SM at the time so I tried to explain to the family that she might have a condition and that she should probably see a professional. Unfortunately, the family was very proud and didn’t want to seek out help. She was such a sweet girl and she desperately wanted to communicate. We sat together and reading one of her favorite mangas. She wouldn’t say anything to me, but she would laugh and point at a part in the comic she found funny. That was years ago. I hope she doing better now.
I’ve had selective mutism all my life, I’m 19 now. I’m mute around everyone except the people I live with. So I’m mute around everyone else including grandparents etc. It makes me physically unable to speak
My best friend had selective mutism and it was so hard for her to be in certain places/ with certain people. Thank you for helping to spread awareness, I love you 💕
My now 6 year old daughter has been a selective mute for just over 2 years, since her 2nd day of preschool. In the beginning she went nearly 3 weeks without even speaking to her dad, sister and myself. Now, she only speaks to me, her dad and her sister, and after 2 years she finally spoke to her gramma and nana which was amazing, and now she uses a notebook to write and communicate with her peers. With therapy and research we have adapted to her mutism, but the hardest thing is family and others that dont understand and keep nagging and trying to guilt her to into speaking, and trying to explain that she isnt just shy that she physically cannot speak.
the best way i can describe selective mutism is it’s like in certain situations you just can’t talk. not in a way that your body doesn’t work, but in the way that you can’t leave your pants down after leaving a public restroom. it’s like everything in your head is telling you not to speak and it would be incredibly embarrassing and humiliating to do so.
Evie I just want to say thank you…I work with young adults with disabilities and I’m learning new things every day and each thing I learn can be put in to practice…learning about this from your video is such a huge learning curve and I’m so grateful xx
I went like a year in 6th grade without speaking to anyone, only my teacher noticed but as soon as she saw my mom and my life she completely understood why, she was so patient even though she didn’t understand completely. I started speaking to my friends the next year again and stopped talking to my mom. Thank you for sharing your story, I never knew this was a thing and I am 27 now.
My friend used to have selective mutism. She would only whisper to certain ppl. After loads of work she is very confident with her speaking now. Good for her.
If I try to tell someone that I have/ had selective mutism and am still struggling with speaking in general, they often mishear mutism for autism and start laughing at me. I 5then go on to explain, and they start mocking me, and saying it's in my head because I am comfortable enough to be myself, and speak around them. Thank you for sharing your story, and spreading awareness
U make my day so much better, I have a rly painful headache and my tics are acting up a bit more then usual but your videos just completely distract me and ur so positive and lovely 💕💕💕
I feel like an asshole for saying this but I never realized fish could be cute or bring you joy like owning a cat or dog. I'm not in a place in which I can take care of a dog or cat but maybe I should get a fish. Yours is really cute
Do a ton of research! Goldfish like hers are actually really high maintenance, but you can get a few smaller fish that are just as pretty and energetic. I'd say aim for a 10 gallon, you can get started up for about $150. After that the cost to maintain is pretty low :)
I don’t know if you’ll see or even answer this but I want to take the time a moment just to say a thank you for....well being you and for putting your self out there,I’ve been in a very very deep dark hole for a while and could only see one way out,if you get where I’m going with this,and out of the blue one day found your uploads,to keep it short your bubbly personality and sweetness uplifted me and helped me a lot, so bravo and thanx😉👍🏻
I had my 1 year old son on my lap while I was watching this, and when you made your whistle he started clapping his hands nearly every time !! He is obsessed with watching birds and hearing them :) it made him happy to hear your perfect whistle. I know it may be hard to live with, but a lot of us love you and your tics
Thank you so so much for talking about this! I got diagnosed with SM in the psych ward, along with severe social anxiety and depression, and it's so hard because so many people don't know it and can't deal with it, therapists have put so much pressure on me and nurses got annoyed, one even screaned at me because I couldn't answer her. I felt and still feel very isolated because of that... but I have finally found a therapist that understands, she's so nice, and I'm slowly getting better at talking... I still have a long way to go, but I'm making baby steps in the right direction. Thank you so so much Evie, you made me feel less alone with this :)
I started watching your videos about 2 years ago and the first videos i watched i couldn't stop laughing because your so funny and they were so enjoyable but now i realized that i have learned so much and i'm really happy that you came up in my recommendations
I have ASD and I really appreciate this video. Although I wouldn't say I have selective mutism I find it really hard to communicate certain things so I have cards to show my teacher. I attend a special needs college so I really appreciate you bringing awareness to these conditions and helping educate people as that's the best way to help someone is to understand... love ya lots Evie keep being you xx
Thank you for bringing awareness to selective mutism. I had selective mutism from the age of 5 to age 12 . It was mostly school related and it made things a lot more difficult for me. When I got to high school a teacher helped me over come it, what a relief that was. I’m now 28 and haven’t suffered with it since then . This video brings back a lot of memories for me .
Thank you for posting this I experienced this in the sixth grade and I felt like a freak and I felt like I was faking for some reason. Watching this makes me feel so validated! I hope you have an amazing day. Xx
My cousin has selected mutism, and she Is silent in family reunions, which is really hard for my mum because she doesn’t speak to her and I have to ask her what she wants to say. It’s really hard in daily lives depending on how embarrassed or outgoing she is or if it’s just that person she doesn’t trust ❤️
It sounds like you had some great support at college. It still makes me want to give 16 year old you a big hug. I have social anxieties and Asperger’s so I do appreciate how you lonely and isolated you felt. Your just awesome 😎 thank you for being you x
Thank you for talking about this! I dealt with selective mutism when I was little and people didn't really understand so I appreciate you educating people :) Also completely besides the point and I hope this doesn't come off as disrespectful: I have a puppy at home and whenever your whistling tic shows itself, my puppy looks at me interested and a bit confused and I think it's adorable!
Thank you for making and sharing this video! This year a teacher who I trust told me that maybe I've got Selective Mutism because the last 3-4 years I didn't really speak at school or somewhere else. Since last month I've got extra support at school and she thought about it too. I not really diagnosed yet because my parents don't really know it yet. I'm glad that there are video's like this so I know I'm not alone. Most of the time I really get mad at myself because I sometimes really do wanna say something but I just can't. I hope that more people will learn about it because it's difficult for me to explain it to somebody. I love your videos and your personality !!
amazing of you to share your story :) My little sister had selective mutism during kindergarden and elementary school where she would only speak to her best friend but could speak and behave completely normal at home. Luckily my parents did everything for her to get therapy and it helped her a lot (the teachers were super helpful, too). When she got to a new class where nobody knew her she could speak to most of the people at school right away. In some situations she still goes into this state of "shock" where she can´t speak at all but she made sooooo much progress during the last 10 years, I´m very proud of her
Was there ever a time you wanted to speak so badly and just couldn’t? I feel like I would cry if I wanted to say something and get through it and couldn’t.
as someone who has dealt with this for 6 years, yes, on various occasions, especially when people mock you and say that you're faking being mute or something ignorant like that and you can't defend yourself.
@@absvckm1355 I’m so sorry you have felt that that way and there was no one in those moments to defend you. Sending love and thank you so much for responding! 💛💛
I am now 13 and I am selective mute with the teachers and some students at school. I used to not talk around some family friends when I was alot younger but I do speak at clubs I go to outside of school, it has got easier over the years. Anyway thankyou for sharing this, its really nice to hear from somebody else like myself.X
I love you sooo much ! Even when something is tough you still think on the bright side of things! I am not the most optimistic person but you have really helped me become more positive! I know this probably means very little to you as it’s coming from a 11 year old but u have really helped me! ❤️❤️❤️ I love you Evie ❤️
My sister had SM only when my parents were around. The time period was after we moved in with our new dad. We only thought it was her not knowing form sentences until she started school and our teacher had a meeting with our parents. Then we started getting it diagnosed. Glad I got to hear another experience!
when i was in elementary school to middle school, i had a really bad home life. not as intense as other peoples trauma (not to compare trauma), by that i mean i wasn’t physically violated on a daily or even weekly basis, but most of my trauma was just feeling very threatened and scared. i didn’t talk to people in school, and i was very quiet in general during that period. i told myself that i was just being respectful, but really it was just my unbreakable habit of staying as inoffensive as possible in order to protect myself. it was also because as a result of not talking to other kids, i was further alienated and bullied-because, spoiler alert, kids are MEAN-making me even more unwilling to talk to people. the more i was bullied and treated “different” (like i wasn’t a fully functioning, intelligent human who could pick up on things like that), the more i would just shut down. long story short, i didn’t feel safe at school, i didn’t feel safe at home, i was extremely insecure even around friends. when i did speak, i had to think about what i was about to say-more than the average person, i realize this is normal to a certain extent-long enough to make sure that i didn’t sound like an absolute idiot, and even then i stuttered a lot. for me, this was essentially a result of a deeply rooted feeling of unworthiness, because if other kids thought i was so weird that they shouldn’t even try to talk to me, maybe i just wasn’t good enough at all. i went to the same school district my entire education, and i cant tell you how many times i just wished that i could transfer somewhere nobody would know me. i would start over as a new, confident person, and nobody would see me as any different. i have a lot to say. i just can’t really just say it. i wish people thought about these things as thoroughly as people like us do, so that they would understand that.
I absolutely love how your future (editing) self helps out with the video. It makes the videos so dynamic and adds a comedy element. :) You're a star Evie!
I actually went to primary school with a girl who had selective mutism!!
When spoken to by a teacher, she would not speak a word... not even for the fire alarm. No matter how many times the teachers told her (sometimes even told her off) for not saying “here” for the fire drill, she would not say a word. She wouldn’t even smile either. But in the playground with her friends she would be smiling and talking.
I'm so sorry hun
@@jazminegunnulson6939 it’s not sorry for me... ?
I actually recently got back in touch with the girl and she’s doing so much better ☺️ now has two children.
@Nxthing completely agree x unfortunately, even though I’m only 26, I came from a time where there was a lot less mental health awareness and so on. They didn’t brand her as a naughty child or anything, but they sure didn’t help.
I do the same thing, but I don't know if selective mutism has to be diagnosed or not, but I do have the problem that I literally can't get a words out when teachers talks to me, especially when the other students are in the class, but when I'm with my friends, I can talk.
I was like this too! Didn’t smile or speak. I even managed to get a boyfriend in 7th and all 6months together, I never spoke to him. I’m better and i’m glad that girl is too!
as an autistic person who’s non-verbal a lot of the time, i really appreciate this and i think you did a wonderful job explaining it so thank you :)
It’s so hard being able to talk around most of my family but then when it’s someone different, I just can’t talk. It’s not like I don’t want to, I just can’t. I think the worst part is people just think I’m rude when I just can’t talk. It’s hard being non-verbal sometimes. 💕
Thanks for this information!!!
I have Aspergers and I’m TOO verbal lol 😂
We're you nonverbal all your life? My son who is 6 has a diagnosis of severe stage 3 autism and he has been nonverbal his whole life. He's never said a single word. He's only just started learning to do sign language in the last 2 months. Other than that he has no forms of communication other that occasionally pointing or taking us to what he wants. He doesn't even use body language communication like nodding or shrugging. We hope that one day he'll eventually start to talk but at this point we don't really think he will. Is there anything you can think of that might have helped you to talk some if you eventually did?
@@Xessa82 i’m not non-verbal all the time, i have non-verbal episodes when i’m really overwhelmed or in a situation that’s difficult for me. have you tried using visual cues? for example, you could have cards with pictures of things that he might want/need eg. pictures of food so he can point to it when he’s hungry, or a picture of a toilet so he can tell you when he needs it - that sort of thing is helpful for me. i also write things down when i can’t say them out loud but i’m not sure if your son has those skills yet. it sounds like you’re doing a really good job, well done - i hope this helps! :)
I was friends with someone who was selectively mute in middle school. She never said a word in class or to me, but she would smile and nod at my jokes or questions and that was enough for me. I hated how other people would try to befriend her and be nice to ‘get her to talk to them.’ I didn’t care if she never spoke to me, I could tell she enjoyed being around me so she was my friend and I had no expectations. Plus I’m chatty enough to carry on a convo for two and she was a good listener who payed attention to my dramatic stories. When she came to my birthdays I saw her whispering to her mom and brother so I think she was mute to people outside her house. I didn't know the word selectively mute or anything at the time, so its only now I realize this
We went to different high schools. Two years after middle school we met up in a mall and when I walked up to her she said hi and spoke a bit. I was surprised of course because I’d been friends with her for 5 years in middle/elementary and she never spoke. But I didn’t comment on it at all because while that’s great for her I know people don’t like being made a spectacle of. So I just smiled and said hi back and then we went for lunch. Was nice. Too bad we lost contact
I was just like your friend. My middle school friend was very much like you, I ended up moving countries after 1 year of meeting her but she is the one who made me feel comfortable enough to start talking again, we started by writing notes and even though I never saw her again I always think about her and I am so grateful I had her for as long as I did. We would laugh so much and I always hope I’ll run into her someday, but that’s just life. Thank you for being so fabulous ✌🏼
ahh i was exactly like your friend, and i also experienced people using me to get me to talk so they would get praised by the teacher and stuff. she's so lucky that she had you growing up, you're a real one!
That was a very good way to go about it! From a mute myself
you're such a good person :) this made me cry
wait..that sounds really close to something that happened to me. almost exactly the same except for the lunch part. i..woah.
I know your whistle is a tic. But it’s literally a perfect whistle and I love it every time 😭💕
Yes, this is the 1st time I’ve seen her. Thought she had a bird…& a fish
Srsly like what a cute tic… weird sentence but fr😂
i thought exactly the same
Weird thing to compliment but ok
Is this not the same as complimenting a person with an EDs weight loss lmao
@@Penguinstudios123 as long as we're not making fun of the disorder, I think it's okay tho? But yh, it is kind of a sensitive thing to say. But sometimes complimenting them can make them feel a bit better about that condition , since it's something they have to live with for their entire lives maybe
watching the fish swim around while listening to Evie is so calming
Very :3
I know. Right ???!!
I’ve never seen such a happy fish! She was swimming in the bubbles so joyfully!
yesss
it freaks me out! Fishes are intelligent! And they are not meant to be alone. I dont believe that she is are bad person. But cmon guys, pls try to empathize with ur pets or ur food. wake up... all animals have awareness and needs. Stop denying it.
looks like you dropped this-
* gives you your crown *
edit: tysm for the likes! most i’ve ever gotten here ;)
👑
Awwwwh
Beluga 🌝
This made me realise I might of had selective mutism in school… the teachers never heard me speak, even when they asked me a direct question, i just couldn’t respond verbally. I remember feeling scared because no one understood and I was bullied quite badly for it.
Everyone thought I was just rude. I’ll never forget the teachers antagonising me in front of the whole class. Asking me a question and then saying “we can wait all day if we have to” or “you’re holding the class up again”
But it seemed no one acknowledged me as a person with feelings because I didn’t speak, so I guess it went unnoticed!
I hope schools offer more support these days rather than picking on kids with anxiety.
Thank you for sharing your story. You helped me solve mine
@@quiplo_ I’m sorry to hear you went through that without the chance of being understood or having proper support. No one deserved to be treated like that, especially when it’s anxiety related. I hope you have overcome your mutism now.
I think 10 - 15 years back, a child having a mental illness didn’t exist or was completely overlooked, so if you were the black sheep who struggled, it was easier for people to treat you like an underdeveloped piece of trash sadly. 😓
@@quiplo_ Same! My social anxiety is so bad, I can’t leave my home anymore. Thank you. Don’t give up, it will always get better!
Its still a thing :/
Kids with anxiety, or people that are quiet get picked on by the teachers, if they dont answer, their just gonnma keep picking them, as someone who got loads of anxiety for even answering a question, i always got picked on, and whenever i told my answer the teacher tells me to repeat it again, maybe its just my school that does this, but man, teachers really need to think about students that have horrible anxiety and needs to stop picking them
@@quiplo_ i dont get why people that are quiet are rude.. most quiet people i know are sweet hearts, their kind and its just upsetting when the quiet kids get picked on, i had many friends that were quiet and they were kind and i had a lot of fun being their friend even if they didnt really talk a lot
@@melonenjoyer one teacher used to despise me because I was shy. I also suffered from PTSD as a child, so my memory was bad and I didn’t understand what was going on around me. Once I plucked up the courage to answer a teachers question. She laughed, and said “you are just so stupid it’s ridiculous” she told the other teachers in class that day “listen to this” *she asked me a simple question, and of course I answer wrong. They laughed and one teacher said “I am so lucky my kids not retarded like that”
One of my classmates had selective mutism in high school. The teachers were so nice & never "forced" her to speak up or answer questions, they'd communicate on paper. Senior year you could even see her whispering with friends at school, it made me happy for her :)
Im an 18 year old girl and I've been mute around my Mum for the last year and a half and it's awful and scary. I'm so glad you're sharing you're experience. It makes me feel less alone. Thank you!💖
i wish you the best ♥️
@@hannah3970 Thank you!💖
Sending love. I wish you the best!
I wish you the best too. X
I u der stand if you don’t wanna say anything or respond but what do you mean by you were mute around your mom? Did you like never talk to your and have a bad relationship with her?
I think it's called "selective" mutism because the person has the ability to speak, but they just can't at different times.
That is literally what she said.
@@bobabubbletea7141 Ok...I posted that before she said it. But thanks for the call out.
yea i got it and its hard to talk in sertin areas ,people
“selective mutism” the person selects when they are on mute.
ik don't need to educate me on wat i have ;-;
It should be called circumstantial mutism, the word selective makes people assume it’s a choice.
Also, when you were mute, did you still have vocal tics or just physical tics?
It's actually called situational mutism now I think.
@@ryn2844 hey I'm Laurann too. Is your name Lauren Ann?
@@laurenrobson46 No actually. I'm nonbinary and I go by Ryn but Google won't let me change my display name and re-subbing to everything on my new account is a lot of effort so I'm still using this account mostly.
My legal name/deadname is also not Laurann or Lauren.
I used Laurann as a display name before I chose the name Ryn because Laurann sounds similar to my Chinese name 朗然, which is gender-neutral and which I preferred for that reason.
Sorry to disappoint. It's a nice name though :)
@@ryn2844 You didn't disappoint!! That's too bad Google won't let you change your name :/
@@laurenrobson46 Yeah but oh well there are worse things in the world :)
I feel like "situational mutism" would be a better term rather than selective because I think the use of that word is probably why there's so many misconceptions about it! Thank you for sharing your story 💕
My daughter stopped talking for about 6 months in school when she was 7. I found out some kids were teasing her about her speech impediment. I was so mad but her teacher was amazing and was a great support. She's still really anxious and scared to talk to people at 13 but she can if she really wants to.
I love your videos ❤
As someone who had selective mutism and has bad social anxiety as an adult now I would highly recommend social groups for her or some group therapy because that really is what broke me out of it initially and having positive social interaction really boosts my confidence in social situations. The older you get the more it becomes a struggle so helping her now could prevent some bad anxiety later.
😭 That’s not nice.
I still have selective mutism to this day, I will become mute when I'm under a lot of anxiety. I stream for a living and sometimes I go mute on stream, but we actually found out that because I also have Tourette's if the chat repeatedly triggers my vocal tics, after maybe 10 minutes I'll be out of it. Something about my tics forcing my voice out helps me reset my speech almost
Correct me if I'm wrong, are you saying that your tics can help force you out of being mute at times?
Thank you for sharing by the way!
@@mikahlaboldea192 Yes, I use one disorder to cancel out another.
@@CaitlinKoi Thats so cool in a way-
She didnt answer this question exactly, but how does it FEEL? As in, do you feel afraid, even terrified, confused, just annoyed? I had a really anxious moment in my life where I felt totally frozen verbally. It happened exactly once to me, it was so weird. I was just looking at my gf screaming at me and was just totally silent. I had no idea what to tell her later, I must have seemed like such an asshole
For me it’s like that lump in your throat before you burst into tears, but I’m not going to cry and the lump doesn’t go away. I couldn’t control it for years, but now I’m a lot better, and I drink a cool glass of water in sips and I find that helps open up my throat, for me anyway, and then I let myself speak just one word at a time, even if I have to take a break between words to breathe and pause before I can say the next one. Otherwise I have communicated over text, by writing on my phone and showing whoever the message. Mine is only when I’m in a confrontational situation or I feel threatened, I think it’s just basically ptsd for me. So after a few hours it will come back gradually when I’m away from the situation. Now when I do talk and am having an episode, the more I talk the more it frees up my throat and stuff and the easier it gets, but the next time it happens I’ll be starting from square one again. It can vary in severity, sometimes it’s not so bad, other times it feels like I can’t breathe or swallow and I open my mouth but just can’t speak at all
Yes I have been struggling with this lump in my throat too. I don't know how to deal with it somedays.
I have autism and my selective mutism has gotten a lot worse over lockdown and I lost the ability to talk to extended family on zoom. I used to be able to talk a bit (only answering questions and very short sentences but I could still talk) but now I haven’t said anything to anyone other than my parents and my friend since January 2020 ever though I’ve been on zoom calls with them. I hope one day I can conquer it because I feel like my family don’t know me at all.
I specifically remember the last thing I said to someone other than my parents and my friend, It was to my grandma who came over to lunch. She was there for about an hour and the only thing I said to her was “yes” when she asked me if I could swim lol.
Good luck! You’ve got this!
In the question about comparing 'choice and selective', I think you could say that it's selective because the involuntary part of your brain chooses not to talk, while the voluntary part wants to talk but just can't?
As an autistic person who experiences selective mutism, I really appreciate you bringing this to light for more people because of how not talked about it is! It's also nice hearing that what I experience is not something I experience alone!
Oh
I was never a selective mute. I have very bad panic attacks that cause me to be unable to speak. U describe it perfectly. How u so badly want to talk but ur brain physically won’t let u. I’ve actually had people get mad at me for not talking during a panic attack. I’m really glad I found someone who can describe what goes on in someone’s head when ur physically unable to speak. I’m glad I know I’m not alone.💜
Can we talk about how strong Evie is for even making a video about this after all these years, to spread awareness. So proud💜💜
Yes
I agree and a really good role model for others who can relate
Bubba is so cute 💜
👋🏻
i know right
Yes. He is.
The happiest fish I have ever seen!
Yeah
I’m autistic and suffer with selective mutism. Thank you for this amazing video Evie, it’s so informative! 💖💖
i feel like teachers really should have to learn about this topics (obviously not to a professionals level but enough so they know how to treat kids n young ppl properly) and anything related to neurodivergency because it’s so often heard how schools are where the major difficulty appears for anyone in the ND spectrum. it’s not fair that children are sometimes mistreated or punished for their circumstances or inabilities and it’s something we must change soon
It’s sad they even have to learn about, it should be enough for them to see a kid is having a difficult time and not make it more difficult by acting like an a-hole :( common sense isn’t so common though😓
(you are totally right! I just want to make clear that selective mutism is not a form of autism, and by some definitions not related to neurodivergency, it’s a really common misconception so I just wanted to point it out -although ND ppl and ppl w SM can have similar experiences)
@@Cosmo-Young oh i didn’t mean to say it was a form of autism, i ment that teachers should be more informed in mental health + neurodivergency as a whole, sorry for the confusion!
I was a child who struggled with selective mutism and mental health in general (& I suspect I’m ND as well) and I’m training to become a teacher (almost done with my degree :D). I absolutely agree and I hope I’ll be able to make a difference. 💕
I’ve been mute since I was around three years old when I started preschool. Even after seeing a psychologist, when I started school, I didn’t speak to teachers at all. I only had a few select friends who I felt comfortable enough to talk to, and even then I had to whisper to them so no one would hear me (there were cases where teachers would spy on me and my friends to hear me speak so I was kinda paranoid bc of that lolz). I started second grade in a new school in hopes I would speak there. It only got worse tho. In summary, I just finished 10th grade and I’m 16 and no one at school has ever heard my voice. For a long time, I was being threatened by my school to be kicked out if I didn’t make any progress regarding my sm. They always had sympathy tho and knew that I was holding up well at school with my grades and had lots of supportive friends. Because of quarantine, my mental health was at rock bottom (and still think it is) and I started to do really bad during online school. Now, I’ve been kicked out because I didn’t get any better with selective mutism, and as the “cherry on top” failed basically all my classes this year. I'm doing some admission tests now for a new school and hopefully get admitted in :’) I don’t want to go to a new school and start all over again and lose the connections I had at my old school. But I know it's for the better and new starts are always good. I'm just hoping that I will not make the same mistake again at my new school and have a promising future in school, college, and life :)
@@SG-cm3lz thank you so much for your kind words 💕💕It means a lot to me!! I hope you are doing better now and just keep improving :DD If u need anything I'm here to help!
Hey! Don't think it was your mistake, it's not something you are really choosing, so it's not a mistake. I'm sorry for the teachers who treated you badly... spying on someone when you know they don't want to do something in front of you, to catch them doing it, is breaking consent, is violence and not respecting boundaries. And teachers should be very good at teaching and respecting boundaries, it is a big part of what you learn in school, so that was a big mistake they made. You are doing a good job enrolling back into school! You are so brave, i dropped out of school and i know how hard it is to decide to try again. Be proud of yourself. You will find people who understand and don't pressure you while still encouraging you, it's doable ;)
This is such an interesting topic, thank you for talking about it!
this is one of the first times ive seen selective mutism in a title and also one of the first times ive actually commented on a video mainly because it makes me feel so much better knowing that someone else has been through something so close to me
thank you for bringing awareness ❤️
you're incredible :)
Yeah. It’s nice to know you’re not alone.
Thank you for talking about this!
I've had selective mutism for several years when I was a kid, and I stll have to deal with anxiety today.
it's true, a lot of people have no idea of what selective mutism is, since it's something relatively rare.
That's why talking about it is important!
I am trying to spread awarness myself
Thanks to both of you for spreading awareness
@@yelenarotar2307 🥺♥️
I am a speech therapist and had a child with selective mutism on my caseload when I was in clinicals at my school. I didn’t know much about it that the time, and I really wish I had learned more about it in school. Thank you so much for sharing your story! I will keep it in mind going forward in my practice!
i myself have selective mutism, ive had it for about 14 years now, i can't get over it. ive tried meds and therapy, still doing the meds and therapy until this day. it definitely is something not a lot of people have heard of, i try to explain it to people i trust, and they understand. i have never said a word to most of my family members, which puts a lot more pressure on me. sometimes people don't understand which is then very hard to communicate, my teacher in the second grade didn't understand at all, she would force me to talk when i didn't feel comfortable in class. i love that you can talk about it and open up, im very proud knowing that you got over it!!
i feel you! i'm 23 and i just started talking to my teachers in school and my grandparents. it has taken years of therapy to be able to get more and more out of my shell, but i eventually got the courage to talk to some people i used to not talk to. it's so hard to get out of that "role" of being mute, and i never thought i'd be able to get out of it. i went to therapists growing up too, but it didn't help me. it wasn't until i was in my 20s that i finally started getting better, and maybe it was because i was more motivated, but i don't really know. but yeah, you're still very young, and it's never too late! i believe in you:)
You are valuable, your experience is valid and important for others to hear! I wish you and all others working on this condition the best of luck on your journey. You should be proud of yourself for every step you take.
Heyyy remember don’t let others hate on you because that’s what mean people do.I love watching your vids and animals
Agreed, seeing a new video brings me joy
Ignorance is bliss, they say.
Agreed. Ignorance towards mental health is not right
I'm so happy you're talking about this, Evie you're the one that made me comfortable with my tourette and even learn about myself morn tho I had it for 11/12 years! I'm 21 now and I've dealt with selective mutism as long as I can remember from childhood till now, I wd get in trouble my whole life for being "moody" and not talking when that's not it and didn't know how to explain :( AND NOW THIS! The fact that u're talking aboht it makes everything way easier
❤️
This was really helpful for me because I’m a educational assistant with adhd and gad, so I have a heart for kids with disabilities and kids who won’t get diagnosed till later in life cause I wasn’t diagnosed till 20. I love to learn every way to help every type of child so they can have a positive school experience 💜
👏👏
👏 👏
I do love how when you edit you remind past Evie of the words she's forgotten 😂👍
Well done this vid is great, and very informative!
Agree!!
I have a friend with selective mutism and in school the teachers would always try force me to get them to speak to them or see me speaking to them and ask me questions like “how did you get them to speak to you” etc 😑
YUNGBLUD !!!
@@divergentgurl1414 YESSSSSS
🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
Evie popping in with words during editing is the best thing lmao
Thank you for opening up about this. My sister is 17 and currently in treatment for this. She’s had it since she was 10 but when she was 16 we finally started to get answers. She also has autism. Thankfully she speaks to me.. a lot. You Would never have guessed she has selective mutism by the way she yaps on to me haha. But I am so thankful she can talk to me since many of my other family haven’t ever heard her voice in years.
me: * was mute for 4 years and not knowing why *
me: * a year later * "ah yes..selective mutism! still suffer with that to this day occasionally
(i was 6 when i first suffered with it then when i was 10 i found out what it was-)
Woah really! I was diagnosed when I was really young.... my parents thought I had autism so they took me to a specialist and that’s when they figured out I had SM :)) I also still suffer a little from it :/
@@Blaird2006 wow- is there a reason why it happens? just your brain deciding that is to much to talk??? I am in shock that so many people suffer from this.
so proud of you for raising awareness and talking about it
I've never experienced selective mutism but I have times that I am semi/non-verbal because I'm autistic. It's interesting to learn more about the similarities and differences between the two. Thank you for another lovely video
i'm so glad that you make videos and share these things. i have tics and selective mutism as well. growing up i had always felt so alone, or like something was wrong with me and it was somehow my fault that i couldn't do things everyone else so easily could. finding this online community has given me a whole new perspective. there is nothing bad or wrong with me, it's not my fault, and there are so many other people who have the same struggles and feel the same things.
i've always had selective mutism but it became really severe when i was around 9 years old. it started with not being able to talk at school, then it pretty quickly turned into not being able to talk in public at all. i couldn't even talk to doctors so getting help was really hard. i spent quite a bit of time in inpatient because of it, because nobody understood what was going on.
when i was 17-18, i was going out every day and working really hard to talk to people and expose myself to normal interactions. i got to a point where i could talk pretty much anywhere, even in class. however, being isolated during the pandemic completely destroyed that progress. i think i might even be worse off than i was during inpatient. now even the thought of going to the grocery store is enough to make me panic. because of this, i've been struggling a lot with my self esteem, but seeing this has helped to remind me that it's okay to struggle. hopefully when the pandemic ends i'll be able to make even more progress than before.
you popping in as editing evie was so cute! sending love your way 💗
She is so adorable❤️💓💕
I was unable to talk in school, guys from old times (I'm on 40s now) still remember how quiet I were, they would rarely hear my voice except when I was "forced" by teacher to talk. And I still don't talk about it today, so it's great to see her so young being open about it. Surely it helps lots of young guys out there to feel better ✌
I have adhd and i am personality loving that i can watch bubbles, because it helps me concentrating
I’m very curious if your Tourette’s was affected when you had mutism. As In, did you still have verbal tics at college even though you couldn’t speak or did having mutism suppress your tics for that period of time. I’m just very curious how it affected you dealing with those very opposite conditions at the same time.
Same!
hihi !! personally, for me, as someone with selective mutism and tics. i still have verbal tics even though i'm not able to talk very much. neither things are a choice so mutism didn't rly suppress it for me.
hope that makes sense i'm not very good at explaining things !!
@@emiliejayne_st huh I just went back to the video and I didn’t realize because she said her FND started at 18. I didn’t know what that was. I don’t follow her so I just assumed she has Tourette’s. I had no idea there was another syndrome that can cause someone to have tics. I learned something new.
I don’t have selective mutism but I have a lot of social anxiety and some of the things you were saying felt familiar to me.. even though I can talk I feel so horrible and closed in around some people and it’s physically impossible for me to break out of it and no one seems to get how I feel
I'm so happy you exist and you're advocating mental & physical health! You're really helping me and others with our journey❤
Bubba's new house be looking fancy, thanks for talking to us about selective muteism its definitely something that i needed education on.
I know. Right?
Thank you for making this video, it was very educating :)
A dear friend of mine had selective mutism when he was little. I feel sorry because of how his family made into into a big deal... even if he talked in many situations, it was just with certain people. I think that when a child has an issue with something, communicating to them the message there's "something wrong with them" is terrible, ethically unfair and also not very useful if you want to help them improve. You can accept their difficulties and still encourage them to work on getting better.
It's also interesting how in many cases it happens with authority figures like teachers. It makes me think about how if school was different altogheter, with less authoritarian behaviour without a reason, and more individual care and focus on the student, people with struggles, disabilities, mental health issues etc would find it way easier.
Hey, Evie! Thanks so much for this Q&A and I hope you are feeling better. I once met a 13 y/o girl who had SM and whose family didn’t really understand the condition. They complained she talked just fine at home and only went silent when she was out in public, so they thought she was only doing it for attention. I had vaguely knew about SM at the time so I tried to explain to the family that she might have a condition and that she should probably see a professional. Unfortunately, the family was very proud and didn’t want to seek out help. She was such a sweet girl and she desperately wanted to communicate. We sat together and reading one of her favorite mangas. She wouldn’t say anything to me, but she would laugh and point at a part in the comic she found funny. That was years ago. I hope she doing better now.
Awww. The little mushrooms in Bubba's tank are so cute and colourful!🥰
I’ve had selective mutism all my life, I’m 19 now. I’m mute around everyone except the people I live with. So I’m mute around everyone else including grandparents etc. It makes me physically unable to speak
I relate to this so much
My best friend had selective mutism and it was so hard for her to be in certain places/ with certain people. Thank you for helping to spread awareness, I love you 💕
"I've never spoken about selective mutism before." 😉
Another great video, Evie. Thank you for sharing.
My now 6 year old daughter has been a selective mute for just over 2 years, since her 2nd day of preschool. In the beginning she went nearly 3 weeks without even speaking to her dad, sister and myself. Now, she only speaks to me, her dad and her sister, and after 2 years she finally spoke to her gramma and nana which was amazing, and now she uses a notebook to write and communicate with her peers.
With therapy and research we have adapted to her mutism, but the hardest thing is family and others that dont understand and keep nagging and trying to guilt her to into speaking, and trying to explain that she isnt just shy that she physically cannot speak.
the best way i can describe selective mutism is it’s like in certain situations you just can’t talk. not in a way that your body doesn’t work, but in the way that you can’t leave your pants down after leaving a public restroom. it’s like everything in your head is telling you not to speak and it would be incredibly embarrassing and humiliating to do so.
Sums up sm perfectly for me
Evie I just want to say thank you…I work with young adults with disabilities and I’m learning new things every day and each thing I learn can be put in to practice…learning about this from your video is such a huge learning curve and I’m so grateful xx
I went like a year in 6th grade without speaking to anyone, only my teacher noticed but as soon as she saw my mom and my life she completely understood why, she was so patient even though she didn’t understand completely. I started speaking to my friends the next year again and stopped talking to my mom. Thank you for sharing your story, I never knew this was a thing and I am 27 now.
I was mute for 10(ish) years and it’s actually so crazy to see other people with sm bc as a kid I rlly thought I was the only one in the world lmao
The “haaa” tic sounds like hug to me every time and it makes my heart happy hahahahaha
My friend used to have selective mutism. She would only whisper to certain ppl. After loads of work she is very confident with her speaking now. Good for her.
I'm so proud of U for speaking about this! I know its a sensitive subject for u
I loved the edit parts when you can't remember a word. Those have a really good comedic touch ! Great video overall !
you’re literally one of my favorite humans to ever exist, you’re heart & soul are so pure and that’s so rare now. i love you
If I try to tell someone that I have/ had selective mutism and am still struggling with speaking in general, they often mishear mutism for autism and start laughing at me. I 5then go on to explain, and they start mocking me, and saying it's in my head because I am comfortable enough to be myself, and speak around them. Thank you for sharing your story, and spreading awareness
so proud of you for posting this
U make my day so much better, I have a rly painful headache and my tics are acting up a bit more then usual but your videos just completely distract me and ur so positive and lovely 💕💕💕
I feel like an asshole for saying this but I never realized fish could be cute or bring you joy like owning a cat or dog. I'm not in a place in which I can take care of a dog or cat but maybe I should get a fish. Yours is really cute
💖
Do a ton of research! Goldfish like hers are actually really high maintenance, but you can get a few smaller fish that are just as pretty and energetic. I'd say aim for a 10 gallon, you can get started up for about $150. After that the cost to maintain is pretty low :)
I don’t know if you’ll see or even answer this but I want to take the time a moment just to say a thank you for....well being you and for putting your self out there,I’ve been in a very very deep dark hole for a while and could only see one way out,if you get where I’m going with this,and out of the blue one day found your uploads,to keep it short your bubbly personality and sweetness uplifted me and helped me a lot, so bravo and thanx😉👍🏻
i hope you're doing better
I think it's selective because it's not everywhere and all the time but rather is in specific situations and places.
this is what i was gonna say
I had selective mutism in primary school for over 4 years so yeah gurl I feel you, like I didn't even talk to my friends....at all ❤️✨🌸🍓☺️
I had my 1 year old son on my lap while I was watching this, and when you made your whistle he started clapping his hands nearly every time !! He is obsessed with watching birds and hearing them :) it made him happy to hear your perfect whistle. I know it may be hard to live with, but a lot of us love you and your tics
Thank you so so much for talking about this! I got diagnosed with SM in the psych ward, along with severe social anxiety and depression, and it's so hard because so many people don't know it and can't deal with it, therapists have put so much pressure on me and nurses got annoyed, one even screaned at me because I couldn't answer her.
I felt and still feel very isolated because of that... but I have finally found a therapist that understands, she's so nice, and I'm slowly getting better at talking... I still have a long way to go, but I'm making baby steps in the right direction.
Thank you so so much Evie, you made me feel less alone with this :)
I started watching your videos about 2 years ago and the first videos i watched i couldn't stop laughing because your so funny and they were so enjoyable but now i realized that i have learned so much and i'm really happy that you came up in my recommendations
thank you for posting this, it will help so many people >3
I have ASD and I really appreciate this video. Although I wouldn't say I have selective mutism I find it really hard to communicate certain things so I have cards to show my teacher. I attend a special needs college so I really appreciate you bringing awareness to these conditions and helping educate people as that's the best way to help someone is to understand... love ya lots Evie keep being you xx
Thank you for bringing awareness to selective mutism. I had selective mutism from the age of 5 to age 12 . It was mostly school related and it made things a lot more difficult for me. When I got to high school a teacher helped me over come it, what a relief that was. I’m now 28 and haven’t suffered with it since then . This video brings back a lot of memories for me .
Very proud of you for posting this, you're so brave ♡
Okay the fish in the background could be a thing...like I haven't seen anyone else have this kind of setup and I'm all for it!
I absolutely love watching Bubba swimming around peacefully while you’re talking, it’s so calming🥰
Thank you for posting this I experienced this in the sixth grade and I felt like a freak and I felt like I was faking for some reason. Watching this makes me feel so validated! I hope you have an amazing day. Xx
You are just the best person I've ever seen in my whole life,ur cute asf and so generous ,love u Evie❤️
My cousin has selected mutism, and she Is silent in family reunions, which is really hard for my mum because she doesn’t speak to her and I have to ask her what she wants to say. It’s really hard in daily lives depending on how embarrassed or outgoing she is or if it’s just that person she doesn’t trust ❤️
It sounds like you had some great support at college. It still makes me want to give 16 year old you a big hug. I have social anxieties and Asperger’s so I do appreciate how you lonely and isolated you felt. Your just awesome 😎 thank you for being you x
Thank you for talking about this! I dealt with selective mutism when I was little and people didn't really understand so I appreciate you educating people :)
Also completely besides the point and I hope this doesn't come off as disrespectful: I have a puppy at home and whenever your whistling tic shows itself, my puppy looks at me interested and a bit confused and I think it's adorable!
I have selective mutism and I'm so happy to find out someone else also had it
This was VERY informative. Thank you so much for allowing us a glimpse in to your journey.
Also, love those earrings!
Thank you for making and sharing this video!
This year a teacher who I trust told me that maybe I've got Selective Mutism because the last 3-4 years I didn't really speak at school or somewhere else. Since last month I've got extra support at school and she thought about it too. I not really diagnosed yet because my parents don't really know it yet.
I'm glad that there are video's like this so I know I'm not alone. Most of the time I really get mad at myself because I sometimes really do wanna say something but I just can't. I hope that more people will learn about it because it's difficult for me to explain it to somebody.
I love your videos and your personality !!
amazing of you to share your story :) My little sister had selective mutism during kindergarden and elementary school where she would only speak to her best friend but could speak and behave completely normal at home. Luckily my parents did everything for her to get therapy and it helped her a lot (the teachers were super helpful, too). When she got to a new class where nobody knew her she could speak to most of the people at school right away. In some situations she still goes into this state of "shock" where she can´t speak at all but she made sooooo much progress during the last 10 years, I´m very proud of her
Never clicked faster I love seeing your vids pop up on my screen
Same lol
Was there ever a time you wanted to speak so badly and just couldn’t? I feel like I would cry if I wanted to say something and get through it and couldn’t.
as someone who has dealt with this for 6 years, yes, on various occasions, especially when people mock you and say that you're faking being mute or something ignorant like that and you can't defend yourself.
@@absvckm1355 I’m so sorry you have felt that that way and there was no one in those moments to defend you. Sending love and thank you so much for responding! 💛💛
As somebody who deals with this yes their definitely has been, it feels like I physically can't sometimes
I’m curious on this
@@absvckm1355 that’s not nice !?!?
I am now 13 and I am selective mute with the teachers and some students at school. I used to not talk around some family friends when I was alot younger but I do speak at clubs I go to outside of school, it has got easier over the years. Anyway thankyou for sharing this, its really nice to hear from somebody else like myself.X
I love you sooo much ! Even when something is tough you still think on the bright side of things! I am not the most optimistic person but you have really helped me become more positive! I know this probably means very little to you as it’s coming from a 11 year old but u have really helped me! ❤️❤️❤️ I love you Evie ❤️
3:06 Evie getting distracted after telling us not to get distracted 😂💕
My sister had SM only when my parents were around. The time period was after we moved in with our new dad. We only thought it was her not knowing form sentences until she started school and our teacher had a meeting with our parents. Then we started getting it diagnosed. Glad I got to hear another experience!
I can't tell you how much of an eye-opener this video was for me as an educator! Thank you!
when i was in elementary school to middle school, i had a really bad home life. not as intense as other peoples trauma (not to compare trauma), by that i mean i wasn’t physically violated on a daily or even weekly basis, but most of my trauma was just feeling very threatened and scared. i didn’t talk to people in school, and i was very quiet in general during that period. i told myself that i was just being respectful, but really it was just my unbreakable habit of staying as inoffensive as possible in order to protect myself. it was also because as a result of not talking to other kids, i was further alienated and bullied-because, spoiler alert, kids are MEAN-making me even more unwilling to talk to people. the more i was bullied and treated “different” (like i wasn’t a fully functioning, intelligent human who could pick up on things like that), the more i would just shut down. long story short, i didn’t feel safe at school, i didn’t feel safe at home, i was extremely insecure even around friends. when i did speak, i had to think about what i was about to say-more than the average person, i realize this is normal to a certain extent-long enough to make sure that i didn’t sound like an absolute idiot, and even then i stuttered a lot. for me, this was essentially a result of a deeply rooted feeling of unworthiness, because if other kids thought i was so weird that they shouldn’t even try to talk to me, maybe i just wasn’t good enough at all. i went to the same school district my entire education, and i cant tell you how many times i just wished that i could transfer somewhere nobody would know me. i would start over as a new, confident person, and nobody would see me as any different. i have a lot to say. i just can’t really just say it. i wish people thought about these things as thoroughly as people like us do, so that they would understand that.
Im a total SIMP for this girl and I’m proud ❤️❤️❤️
Here the Queen is with another amazing video to share her story and spread awareness! How r u today? ❤️❤️
I absolutely love how your future (editing) self helps out with the video. It makes the videos so dynamic and adds a comedy element. :) You're a star Evie!
You make the world a happier place. Keep being you because you’re awesome...