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Married? Separate Bank Accounts? That's a Bunch of CRAP!
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- Опубликовано: 23 дек 2018
- Jenny asks Dave if her and her husband should combine their finances. Dave explains two big reasons why that's is important.
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I worked as a bank teller during college and I was shocked by how many times a husband or wife would come in to withdraw money from a joint bank account only to find it all gone. The other person withdrew the money and left. It happens more often than you would guess and it often feels like it happened out of nowhere. Yes, you can go to court, etc. but what are you supposed to do in the interim? Joint bank accounts are great for paying bills and saving together, but I strongly advise everyone to have separate accounts as well.
100% completely agree with this. We have both joint for bills and separate accounts. My mom, who went thru a divorce and experienced this same issue, always told me to have your own $ because you just never know. People change and situations change, so always protect yourself .
Flipping Debt Free exactly! My husband did that mess but he ended up paying out more in the end. I didn’t even put my name on the loan for the mortgage but my name is definitely on that deed. Once someone burns me financially, I don’t care who it is. I’m not going back for more. We can stay married but I refuse to have any kind of joint accounts with my husband whatsoever. He paid for our SUV cash but my name is on the title. I brought 2 cars and my name is the only one on them. I don’t stab people in the back when it comes to money. He burned that bridge and I will never ever forget it. I’m extremely cautious!
Dave’s advice is good for some people but it’s not good for all people. It’s not cookie cutter, especially not in my marriage. My husband regrets it but I’m ok with it because I know where I stand. It happened a little over a decade ago but it left a huge stain in my brain.
@@candisneed my mom always told me the same thing too!
candisneed amen!!!
Yes! My parents have been married for over 20 years, and they advised me to have joint bank accounts but also some money on the side. I think the attitude behind it is a large factor as well.
My wife and I have all our finances under both our names in one form or another. It is to make sure that there will be a smooth transition when either of us die before the other. Of course this can only work if both are trustworthy. We have been married for over 50 years and trust each other completely.
I would combine both accounts--ya gotta trust each other. But if one spouse gambles, drinks, does drugs or is violent, then separate accounts...and perhaps d-i-v-o-r-c-e.
People wear masks and can change very quickly.
You forgot to mention if one is a shopping addict
Ummm pick your partners better
Exactly
Naw, We have a joint that I put bill money in , I have my own checking and savings. Did this dude say men get most of the settlements when couples divorce? Share some money is ok, combining all money is a very stupid idea.
my parents not ever had a joint account.
they were married for 68 years.
my mom was great at handling money.
the bills were paid, we had a roof over our had, house paid for, food, cars paid for. health insurance and burial insurance.
Yeah I don't think it's necessary to have a joint account when married, just make sure that your wife or husband has the same financial goals as you do.
What about your father?
what about investments?
I still don't think I could do it. My mum financially abused me using my own disability money, I just can't risk someone controlling me like that again. No matter how long I've known them, people can easily be hiding abusive tendencies until they think you're fully in their control.
I wouldn’t for one simple reason it’s not illegal to drain your bank account if you have a joint account my sister’s boyfriend did that to her she forgave him but I told her I would never have forgiven him and I couldn’t trust someone to do that to me having separate accounts and maybe one account you each put in you know 50-50 for the bills
But just one joint account no not even if I was married
I can't either man after seeing my Dad losing everything from his 2nd marriage. I will never join a bank account with anyone in my life.
Well you should trust whoever you plan to marry if not don’t get married
I’ve been stuck in a similar situation and completely identify w this
That is so sad about that your mum did that to you.
Yes, human general can be abusive even good people in subtle ways.
Did she stop once you called her out on it or you never called her out on it?
Me and my wife have had separated accounts we started out with joint account and it was a disaster. We have been together for 22 years and married for 17 and separate accounts works for us.
I don't think its the number of accounts that matter as much as working together to achieve your goals. Think that is what Dave is getting at. Otherwise folks with multiple accts would be separating their money from themselves.
Your money is your money and her money is her money. Plan and simple....
Can you explain why it failed? Genuine question. If both of you are on the same page financially (which many would consider a prerequisite) it would be better I would think.
Then your not on the same page financially and it will show.
So glad we joined ours.
I tried it and I’ll never combine money again, because we’re too different in how to invest and save. Also, I don’t like having to ask to spend money even though I make sure all bills are paid, emergency funds are available and money invested in market etc.
Then you shouldn’t ever be married. Stay single. You obviously can’t handle communicating and making compromises on what you buy or planning a future with someone because it’s a trust. You either have it or you don’t and you don’t have it.
@@mannyrodriguez3933 sometimes after you get married you realize your spouse is not mature enough to handle money or communicate. If you have a spouse who overdraws the accounts constantly, spends frivolously, earns minimum wage and makes poor “investments”.. you have to do whatever it takes to protect your finances and keep food on the table for your kids. Maintaining a separate bank account is a lot cheaper and less destructive then paying overdraft fees, or having to go without or a divorce.. true, some people are not ready to be married but sadly sometimes you don’t find that out until after you said your “I do’s”…
@@mzchelle7769 Yes, Manny is living in a dream world.
@@mzchelle7769 so basically what you are saying is that you shouldn't have been married at that time?
You should've known how much they make, you should've shared bank statements for at least the last year, investment accounts, any debt you all had and your entire credit report with each other before getting engaged...
You all then set a budget you both agree on and stick to it
Of course, these are hard/scary conversations to have.. but it's better than getting divorce because you all entered into a marriage you weren't ready for in the first place
Separate accounts are the way to go for sure. Greatly reduces arguments over money when you control your own finances - as long as bills are being paid of course. Not to mention it's a lot better for birthdays, Christmas, anniversaries and so on when you can actually surprise your spouse with gifts. With a joint account your significant other will know where and how much money you spent and have questions about it. Nobody wants to take a little cash out over and over to surprise your spouse with gifts.
"50% of the marriages we deal with don't end in divorce". Ok what about the 50% that DO?
So, he’s no better than the average.
Realize that 50% that end in divorce are those that actually pulled the trigger and divorced. Think of the many more that stayed together but are absolutely miserable
If the laws in the US weren’t so against men it wouldn’t keep being an issue. Men in some states have been forced to pay child support for other men’s kids simply because they lived together long enough to be considered the best interest of the child. What?! If I didn’t know so many of my friends who ended up living back with their parents or renting a room out with barely enough money to survive after a woman took them to the cleaners I wouldn’t be so adamantly opposed to marriage. Fix the laws, or continue to see this happening.
I’m not asking a question, I’m making a statement. I don’t believe in marriage in modern times because the laws disproportionately tilt in favor of women. Over 50% of marriage ends in divorce with in 10 years and the majority of divorce is filed by women. The risk is too high for me personally. I only know a handful of people still married since I left high school and the ones that didn’t work out left my male friends financially ruined. At 47, I have absolutely no interest in marriage whatsoever.
Very true bro!
Brother You are so accurate. Sad to see how women and their feminist counter parts have ruined the beautiful thing like that of a marriage & having a family could be.
Well, my buddies are all uneducated and didn’t have any money. So they were equally living a percentage above poverty level. She got $6000 a year in child support. So he is now much worse off. I remember when he had $60 a week left over while he rented a room at another divorced guys house. Funny thing is she cheated on him and was the one who got custody and is living with the guy she cheated with, with his son. Not worth it man. Women can financially and emotionally ruin your life. Date all you want, I just won’t get married
There are actually cases where the law/government is reauiring men to pay child support to women they never met or had relations with....simply because the woman put their name down as the father or a wire got crossed somewhere
There's a beauty in being able to combine finances. Its been a struggle but, getting in line with your partner and their future is massive. I think 50 percent is solid, the point he's trying to make is that the marriages that have combined finances don't end because of finances it ends because theirs a different intangible like mistrust causing an insurmountable grid lock. My wife went over budget and I let her feel that. Being down to your bottom dollar and realizing that that she has a bit of problem was informative. We went through it together and realized that we could achieve so much more if we are on the same page. It was sobering but, we want to have kids, fix up our house, and our combined finances reflect those dreams.
Thank you for your great videos. Merry Christmas to you and your family. Many blessings and God bless.
I have to completely disagree with Dave he clearly has never been divorced
He obviously doesn't know anything about the divorce laws either...
@@sirius212ify too true you always protect yourself it’s not selfish it’s smart
Maybe thats why
@Brennen Himes I 2nd that 👍🏼
...that fact doesn't make him wrong...
women don't end up with money??? from what i've seen it's the exact opposite
@CJ DUNROVIN wow that's insanity right there. I hope you got all the support needed to get out of it. Seems very confusing to me, then again I'm not a divorce attorney.
Admit it, no one wants to be accountable with finances.
This requires both people to care though. When one blows money like crazy and the other is a Penny pincher, it’s best for them to have their own spending money but share one joint account for bills/vacations/etc.
Pick your partners better
Even just their ability to have a smidge of privacy. Buy your wife or hubby a Christmas gift and not have it turn up on the statement they see.
Having a joint account is a disaster unless both people are financially sound. If one person is good with money and the other is a spend thrift don’t do it. Lesson from the first marriage.
Lol
That’s not a financial problem, that’s trust and communication issue.
Why would you choose to marry someone who has dissimilar values towards money? That's a critical part of choosing a life partner. Keeping finances separately is simply putting a band-aid on the gushing wound of your initial mistake.
@@jorgepena4162 exactly
@@razmiddle9410 Well said! I totally agree!
Combined finances work with someone who has the same vision you do. But if they're going to spend the cash as soon as it hits the account then no, doesn't make sense.
Should this be discussed before marriage? Yup. Is it, nope.
Here comes Marriage
Here comes sacrifice
There's a good reason when one person wants a separate account. They know what their significant others spending habits are.
Kenji Yeah why would you marry that person. thats a sign of irresponsibility.
Wouldn't marry that person, but regardless always have your own bank account.
OP, you’re right. To the others on this, sometimes shit comes to light after youre married that was hidden or not known. You can’t help that. Life and marriage ain’t black and white like that. You have to protect your family, as a whole, other spouse included and often because of their actions.
Exactly the reason I'm here
What about 2nd marriages or people who marry later in life?? I dated a guy for 2 years before i found out he wasn’t paying taxes or child support (ex cop who became a mortgage broker). My next boyfriend was a lawyer who i later discovered had a cocaine habit. Im not risking my million dollar net worth (i am 45)
Very true. I can understand combining income and assets to a certain extent, but there is no way I am going to take the investment accounts that I have (approximate $360K+ net worth) and combining that or whatever my assets are when I get married.
Stop choosing wrong guys. That's not money problem.
There are times when separate accounts are beneficial. My husband spends a lot of money on his hobbies, and I hate feeling like I need to nag him about spending more than the agreed-upon amount each month. So we opened a separate checking account just for him with a recurring transfer from our joint account. Now he manages his own money and I don't feel like I need to give him a hard time about big purchases.
Funny thing is he’s probably the bred winner
@@promigmaniacoc3053 Haha no actually I earn more, but I have my own "fun money" bank account as well to make things even (I just don't really spend mine because I'm pretty cheap).
@@sarahsnyder8557 so did you guys decide on an amount that will be automatically transferred from each check or after bills are paid and money goes into the savings do y’all just divvy up the remaining funds to each of you guys personal accounts?
@@ILLWill1027 Right now, we put 100% of my income into savings/investments, and my husband's income is split up into a budget which includes our bills as well as "fun money." It is a set allowance each month that doesn't vary.
this doesn't make sense... it's unacceptable for him to go over a budget that you both agreed to every month.
If the budget is not enough, you both agree to then increase it.. but you all having separate account's doesn't solve the problem because they would still be over budget lol... you took the "ignorance is bliss" approach... or you just adjusted your budget so that all your money that doesn't go towards bills, investments or retirement is "fun money"... but then again, you didn't need to have separate accounts to do that.
What I don't like about Dave Ramsey is his "my way or the highway" way of thinking about these issues. Honestly, people are different. Some prefer a joint account, others prefer to keep their bank accounts separate. My parents never had a joint account and are well off and have been married for over 30 years. I would never want a joint account either. And that's alright. Any decent relationship/marriage counsellor will tell you that from a relationship perspective, there is no universally correct way - it's all about making a mutual decision that both of you are happy with.
That's bc you know he's right. And you don't like the feeling smth wrong with yours and your parents marriage.
Separate accounts worked for 8 years. Never a problem. Suddenly she quits her job and expects to continue spending my income on luxuries. That was the beginning of the end. Rarely do people share the same financial philosophies. Their are expenses to share and others to keep separate. Bottom line!!!
dodged a bullet on that one!!
"rarely do people share the same financial philosophies"... that is probably accurate. But ask yourself, why you'd marry the person before having these conversations???
@@00Dawggg the philosophy really was so different that getting married was a deal breaker. Something really changed in her. I think taking on a different financial approach was probably just a way out?
Separate bank account all the time...
My husband and I combine our finances and one of his buddies has a wife who wastes all her own money on herself and for the third time that man asked us for money!!! After the third time I went over to visit his wife and I told her to help her husband with his finances because we will never loan money to them ever again and I only went over to complain because she spent over $1000 cash on a phone just for him to come ask us for money after she bought it 👎 everyone knows you pay necessities first and waste some of the savings later to avoid asking others for their money
You all need to pick your partners better lol 😂 he’s 100% right. When I got married we did this right away and had worked out great.
My husband and I have separate accounts. We are both good with money and not in debt besides our mortgage and each of our car loans. Have a decent amount in savings and we have shared goals but we keep the income separate. We talk about finances and we split expenses based on percentage of income. It’s a little messy now with kids so we might combine but almost 13 years later and no major issues. We have a bit different Spending habits and I believe keeping it separate results in less fights as were each entitled to do what we want with our own money as long as we’re sharing the same goals and holding our end of the expenses. PS. I’m the saver. He wants the latest technology and latest greatest thing although that has slowed down in recent years thank goodness. 😂
I'm glad to see someone saying this! I can't imagine myself combining bank accounts with anyone else; nothing to do with trust, I just need the structure I've already set myself when it comes to discretionary spending.
He is entitled to his opinions. We've seen myriads of couples without joint accounts that loved each other while myriads with joint accounts fighting bitterly. And vice versa. I would like see the presenter present a logical proof for this exciting stand. This sounds interesting though, but just needs a proof for implication, transitivity, etc.
Awesome
this doesn't make any sense... you can be a saver and he can be a spender as long as you both contribute towards bills, retirement and investments every month. Just tell them not to spend any more money than what they brought in per month... it should be easy
@@00Dawggg The thing is that it isn't always that easy. There are plenty of examples of people who overspend while the other person is financially responsible.
You got have the right spouse for that!
Definitely agree
Amen to that.
Absolutely not did this with my first wife. Never again that is a horrible idea. Go ahead if you want to wake up to that thing cleans out.
That's not how this works legally... 1 spouse cannot "clean out" a bank account as 50% of the money is yours at the very least (assuming you didn't have a prenup before hand)
If you didn't go to court over this, you were both likely broke and couldn't afford litigation.
@macsc5497 Even if u do go to court. There is nothing u can do if the money is all gone. U still have to start all over
I recommend it because my wife turned into a narcicist 16 years after our marriage. She's a spendaholic who now wants to burn thru my hard earned savings. I'm thankful now it was her idea to have separate accounts.
"Unto thee all my wordly goods I pledge". I do not. I pledge to help and support my wife with what I have. If she spends it all, I will have nothing left to support her actual needs with.
Me and my husband have separate accounts. It works for us.
It's crazy, people are so scared to combine finances, but have no problem with combining their bodies one the first night. If you combine incomes and it doesn't work, you still gotta go to work the next day. If you catch "something" from a person you met online, that's going ruin the rest of your life.
I agree with much of what Dave says but I have to say I disagree here. Me and my partner have separate finances, always will do. As long as the bills are taken care of, we put money away in a joint savings and we both contribute enough to enjoy life then whatever is left over is his and vice versa. He earns his money and I earn mine, I’m careful with what I make and thus I can get by on my own wage without the dreaded ‘can you loan me....’ conversation at the end of every month.
'can you loan me', that's missing the point. It's not a loan, You're putting both of your incomes in one place and one acct. and deciding together what will be paid and what will be saved, etc. It teaches you to do things together, and models what marriage is supposed to be. My wife and I do it, and as the father and husband and budget guy I want her to know everything that is going into our acct and also be in agreement. It keeps us accountable to each other and to our goals, so there are no room for secrets. That catches up to people quickly.
MattCharles that sounds like a great way of doing things and I’m glad it works for you!
You’re partner or you’re husband?
It sounds like you are not in a marriage so it is best to be seperate. You are just partners not spouses.
You have no legal connection to each other.
Baloney. So many men have told stories of the wives bankrupting them. In those cases somebody has to be the saver even if it requires a secret separate account or else you can be taken down the tubes via no fault of your own. Wake up Dave.
Me and my wife just got married almost 2 weeks ago and we just got a joint account. We are both financially responsible and wanting to grind money to save!
Just be careful!
Never shouldve gotton married
Do it!!!! Have the budget meeting and keep communication open.
She knew the answer before she called as most do. She just needed confirmation.
It can be a budgeting strategy. We did not want to depend on my income since the plan was for me to quit once we accomplished some financial goals. It worked out well.
You're a fool if you make such drastic changes to your financial situation because emotions. I want a nice car. My emotions tell me I want it, yet the more logical side of me says to save up the cash for a big purchase I want to make. Marriage is the only legal contract in which you're encouraged to make using emotional logic. It baffles me to this day that people still take that chance, but I guess casinos also exist for a reason as well.
loved this. a bleak day just got a bit better.
Men, Divorce Court is where you will get to see your soon to be Ex wife's true colors.
Sad but true...
Been married over 18 years. A joint bank account is a recipe for disaster.
I’ve been married 17 years. We’ve never had separate accounts.
Does anybody know the model of the headphones Dave uses?
Looks like the Sennheiser HD25. I have been having mine for 7+ years. Still works like brand new.
Married 21 years and I don't believe that's the remedy. Been there done that.That is what will actually cause problems and makes you feel like you have monitor your account all day and babysit your partner for the rest of your life. People are people and with that, people will follow a plan all untill that 1 day comes and a splurge ruins the whole plan.Separate accounts, You are to blame for your own account and what happens financially..To YOUR acct.
Maryv Im trying to understand... so if your spouse goes broke for some reason or has no money in their accounts separately that doesn’t affect you since your married ?
It's fine to have seperate accounts. My girl makes minimum wage but pays for the car. I make more so I pay for the house and groceries and insurance and dental and other healthcare. This develops responsibility for both parties.
I like that strategy, being responsible for different bills and expenses based on your income.
Thats how it should be. Wish I had that opportunity when I was late 20's early 30s. Men expected me to pay half on everything even if they made more but those are the guys that are paying child support. I went back to school later in life. Did everything on my own. I taught my daughter about not getting involved with people in those situations to begin with and it is working. There are people out there that take advantage of men and women. It usually will come back at them 10-fold.
And when she gives birth to several babies and is staying at home are you going to tell her she needs to pull her weight? This drives me insane!!! Marriage is self sacrificial. She will one day be mothering those precious babies while you the husband continue to provide .
@@breezybre2670 Okay sound good.
we watch you from florida we love you man
If you inherit...you must NOT mix the inheritance or if you were to divorce your spouse can get part of your inheritance. This holds true in my state.
S. G. 💯💯
S. G. Than what do u do with ur inheritance.
@@grizzlybear2702 separate, individual account. You can have both a joint account, and an individual account.The joint should absolutely be the primary, but for things like inheritances and a super-emergency fund (as in 'my spouse drained the account and moved to the Caymans with her lover' emergency), then an individual account makes sense. It can also be good for gifts and hobby funds.
Sadpants McGee but would ur spouse be entitled to ur inheritance
@@grizzlybear2702 Maybe, maybe not. You would have to check local laws.
This is horrible advice. We keep separate accounts so we can measure how good we’re doing financially as individuals and help each other when needed. If it ain’t broke don’t fix it. People also make mistakes and marry the wrong person and end up paying for it when their joint account gets emptied.
Exactly, my wife is a wreck with finances but great with everything else, so I run it. She's a surgical nurse, we don't work on that as a team either. Dave thinks it's a serious marriage issue, it isn't, some people are just bad with money
Depends on the situation. My Dad didn’t work for 15 out of 20 year period as he wanted a management job in a nice company. All he did in that time was walk the dog twice a day, vacuum, mow lawn + bring in the washing once a week. Yet Mum had to pay for everything (Dad spent lots of that money on himself) and still cook dinner, clean the bathroom, put the washing on, grocery shop. I am a big believer in separate accounts because of this.
I guess you're traumatized... And she should've get divorce of course. How they're doing now?
@@aeterna581 - no just resentful. They are still together after 51 years. Don’t know how they lasted. 🤷♀️
My wife and I did have a joint bank account for many years. But I found that the usage of the money was mainly on her side. She wouldn't show me what she had spent exactly. She also blocked me from a joint credit card. Which I almost never used. But I was expected to pay the bill for that card? No one day, I had enough. I demanded that we separate out accounts. She pays certain bills. I pay certain bills. I removed myself on that credit card. Which, I don't like credit cards anyway. It's too dangerous to keep around. Since separating accounts, I have enjoyed having my own freedom of self-respect of being an adult in control of my own choices. I have gotten ahead in my finances. She fought it for a while. But to put it honestly. The buck stops here. No regrets. We are better off having separate accounts.
Have separate accounts, no one needs permission or explain to spend their own money thats part of being free, pay the bills 50/50 or whatever your arrangement and thats it, and stick to it, even if the other tries to get account together.
This person is probably divorced by now.
Facts
Then why be married at all if you’re just living with a roommate with benefits.
I married my wife knowing fully of her inability to be responsible with money. We keep the accounts separate and there's no fighting.
I am also the breadwinner so it works
why marry the woman? sounds desperate
Can someone tell me what headset mic he is wearing? 🎙
You need separate so you don't run risk of overdrafting
What if you've lived extremely frugally all your life and the other person hasn't saved anything? This isn't a yes/no type of question
that is why couples should discuss finances before marriage. when you marry someone you get the good and the bad. if you saved $250,000 and your new spouse has $250,000 in debt, as a married couple you now have no money. there is nothing wrong with wanting to keep the money you earned and saved before marriage, but there is everything wrong with feeling that way and marrying. for richer or poorer is a vow not a suggestion. marriage is "all in." if money is more important to you than the other person you should remain boyfriend / girlfriend
Uh…..boundary. You could risk ur partner being irresponsible with $$ u earned & saved responsibly. Have a joint. Put in only for bills/expenses. Separate account for the $$ you know would lead to a possible divorce if ur spouse blew thru it. Boundaries are healthy
@@lasantajones9703 yeah exactly, that's why I don't agree with the video stating separate accounts are bull
Why would you marry someone with such a diametrically different lifestyle than you? That’s why the divorce rate is high. You shouldn’t marry someone who you can’t trust with your stuff.
I trusted my husband and lost all my jewellery as he never gave me back anything by giving silly excuses ... it is important to have a good marriage but it’s even more important to have money so that you are able to live with self respect
Awesome confirmation. I run a marriage ministry at our church and we had the "money" talk session of our 8 week course and this question came and having not heard this from Dave i went off accounting principles and also biblical that one set of books is better than two, buts its almost like living as roomeates. I caught a little bit of slack from it but stuck to it. You have got to be on the same page, same vision, one life, same goals - "and the two shall become one flesh" Thanks Dave for that confirmation.
Of course you caught flack for it, not everyone shares your value system. Do you ever step out of your own little bubble?
I think it's fine to have separate bank accounts and finances although make sure that they have the same financial values as you and your goals are the same.
@Jarod Armstrong D.I.V.O.R.C.E
@@b_ball3496 We live in a divorce paranoid culture. How can a marriage work when you're constantly anticipating or worried about a divorce?
My marriage fell apart because I wanted everything separate. i wanted to be "Ms Independent" and for some reason that made sense to me. I wish I could go back and beat myself up. The financial separation caused me to be irresponsible with money and gave me the benefit of secrecy which, without going into too much detail, made it easy to cheat. If you are married, everything about your life needs to be married as well. Otherwise, you have no business being married and giving your life to someone.
That doesn't make sense.
Not really. Not everybody has the same life style where that would be practical. Different marriages and personality types exist in this world. To each their own.
Your garbage
3 accounts… 1: Joint account 2: His account 3: Her account accounts 1 & 2 both get an agreed upon allocated % of money allocated to them each month.
This coming from a guy that's never been divorced.
He would change his tune if she put him through the ringer in court.
And if he didnt , then hes a fool with money in that area.
Hes speaking to the masses and not everything is black and white.
So, imo if you've tried marriage once , got burned and want to try it again, I suggest keeping things separate. It will cause alot less headaches and stress.
I don't want to pay for my Wife's stuff and I don't want her to pay for mine.
when married it's OUR stuff
@@sumobowler3790 a loser attitude. You should be together because you want to be not because you can profit off of it or can’t afford life without the other
That's good, just don't make it a competition.
@@brutustantheiii8477 I love my wife and there is no way I'm letting money tear us a part. So that is why we keep our finances separate a part from a shared bills account. This "loser" is doing quite well, we both are.
@@GohanBurner dude. You misunderstand. If you support separate finances in the marriage we are on the exact same side. sumo bowler isn’t
What happens if your wife just spends and never looks at the account and you are slowly going into more and more debt. I thought about keeping our savings combined so we are still working towards goals together, but have separate checking accounts to help her HAVE to pay attention to it.
Sucks to be you buddy
share your expensses , and bills, nothing else, keep your own finances ,otherwise, disaster,
I don't understand why so many decide to marry ppl that are bad with money 🤦🏿♂️
Not me my brother my money is my money 💯
40 to 50% of marriages in this country and divorce. The fact that 50% of your marriages end in divorce is nothing to brag about.
I guess it depends, because when I have kids we are planning for me not to work for the first year at least, and I’m not gonna live in poverty in my husband‘s house. We have no choice but to combine. Also what if one spouse loses their job? If everything is separate and you have to support them, I feel like that would cause some resentment and some selfishness.
It seems budgeting and sitting down with your spouse to discuss how much % goes to what will help greatly. And in this case a joint account makes sense
This is not good advice. If you want to maintain sanity--keep it simple, keep it separate. Combine your finances in the aggregate, but both people need to budget on their own.
no. when you budget as a married couple you strengthen the marriage, and not only financially
@@sumobowler3790 You don’t trust anyone else even your spouse completely you should be together because you choose to be and share only expenses (expense account) not out of dependency and shouldn’t have your financial rating destroyed by a irresponsible or uncaring or malicious spouse
@@brutustantheiii8477I hope for your sake that you and your spouse will trust each other 100%. It is a great way to live.
Wow reading the comments here, so many undisciplined adults behaving like children and calling that the modern marriage.
Best decision we ever made. Every time I see someone defend separate accounts there seems to be major marital problems or very selfish/childish people.
or people who have been burnt - so glad that being single (and celibate) is not a sin.
Btw CW, you are absolutely right about self-centered, money-grubbing people ... slackers/moochers are everywhere :/
Yesss from all the divorced couples I’ve known it’s always one struggling and the other one thriving like nope we’re both suppose to spend/save/invest together wholeheartedly
I think married couples should have three bank accounts: One for him, one for her, and one for them both.
May work for some but there is no universal approach to anything. I like the idea or having a joint account for bills and practical expenses and having your own personal account so you can purchase things like a grownup. No permission required.
I will never combine accounts again.
I tried one account but she bleed it dry on high heels.
1-800-Donut Lol you picked her for her high heels is my guess
Yeah I don't trust anyone but myself and the bank with my money.
I think it’s best for couples to have separate accounts for their own personal shopping situations but have a joint account for paying bills, saving up for vacations and emergencies situations just in case life happens.
Makes no sense. in a marriage you set a budget and you stick to that budget that includes "personal shopping". Just because you can pay your bills, doesn't mean you are setup to build wealth together.
@@majesticmythology how do you handle assets, investment accounts and retirement savings?
That's a red flag. Its like saying "let me buy whatever crap that I always buy" but let's keep the bill paying accounts same. It doesn't help.
I dont know why this always bugs dave. Why does he care what other people do in their marriages? My wife and I have separate bank accounts and have been married for 15 years and we would not change a thing. We talk about finances and are on the same page.
Are you wealthy? Net worth million +. If the answer is NO that would be why.
@@AlexanderPerez-bd7bk still none of anybody’s else’s business what one does in a marriage. It is a weird fetish for Dave or what?
@@trifectamarc6705 it's his business because people call him. He is a financial adviser, so he speaks all things money. That includes marriages. It's not that difficult to comprehend
Would you put all your assets in an investment with a 50% chance of incurring a 50% loss of the principal?
Dave's marriage and advice are based on an age of women who are nearly extinct.
50% divorce rate with college educated women initiating 70 to 90% of all divorces.
Financial decisions need to be based on a thorough understanding of applicable divorce laws as well as trends in court verdicts in your state.
There's nothing wrong with having a joint account for living expenses and a joint retirement investment account, but there's also nothing wrong with having separate accounts.
More important is having clear and open lines of communication about debt and financial goals.
You're right, Dave's still living in the 1950s...
I rather a joint household account and seperate personal checking accounts. Joint a seperate savings also
Yea, and budget together. Works very well
I will NEVER again have a joint bank account and am telling my kids the same.
It is bad enough if a marriage fails.
But that should not automatically mean you are out of money.
If you can't agree on how separate accounts are being managed you got nothing.
I personally met while dating four men who all took care to kill their wives artfully either by replacing their heart medication with placebos or simply killed them and disposed of the body.
All of these women had significant amounts of money their husbands had access to and wanted out of the relationship.
Only one of these men is in jail.
If you have joined finances it literally is dangerous for your life to leave a relationship.
Just google all the cases where women suddenly "disappear" while running, fall off a cliff while hiking or die on foreign "reconciliation vacations".
To ignore the waste numbers of mostly women being the victims should never be ignored by a show like this.
How can he give such good advice 95% of the time but not understand why combining finances might be a bad idea? How does losing half your assets help to build wealth? Somebody tell me.
Not everyone has a perfect marriage, and more and more people are getting married younger and poorer. I respect Dave very much but his Christian values cloud his judgement regarding divorce.
ThaiGui27: Everyone thinks the love they have is different and bad things will never happen to them. That sounds naïve doesn't it? But it's a good to feel that way. No body want to go into any relationship with a bale-out plan. I found over the years of listening to true stories from couples that when someone gets really angry, feels betrayed, they can flip out and get very dangerous. That's when the marriage fails.
@@roxannegordon6162 it is the betrayal part that your hit the nail on the head; flilping out, getting angry and violent do not make people get divorced. Look how many times women are abused by men and how many times they go right back. But if she feels that she can not trust him, it will degrade from there, and vice versa...
@@insideoutsideupsidedown2218 vice versa
This man gives out advice 😂😭
Legally speaking
Husband and wife are free to have there on private bank accounts savings account but they can’t not do what ever they want with the income because the income is for there family and for the house communication is the key
My.wife empty our bank account in to half, and then again much faster than i could replaced, and she didn't even work, just felt entitled, for the piece of paper that reads marriage license. I paid 100 of all bills and then she still wanted half of what was left over
you learnt hard way lol. did you divorce her?
With the divorce rate well above 50%, it's no wonder that people want to keep their finances separate. However, that's not going to save you in a divorce as family law dictates equitable distribution of assets.
We’ve been going Dutch since the day we met, even for the wedding and the wedding bands, how is it possible to combine our money?
Just curious what Dave had to say on the matter after reading Suze Orman's advice.
Married and have seperate bank accounts here, no problem at all
I don’t understand what kind of psycho would just drain your joint account if you got divorced, that’s crazy
I think you should have as many joint accounts as possible never have a single account then you have to speak to your spouse on your purchases and they know what you're purchasing and you know what they're purchasing and there's no such thing as hidden money
A little financial independence is a good idea. Have a joint account, but have the ability to save for the things that align with your value system. I can tell you as a married man of 20 year. You won't agree on everything and that doesnt mean you cant save for what you want. Some things aren't a compromise. If you listen to this guy you will end up asking permission to wipe your butt.
My husband is 79 years old and not good at saving, remembering anything etc. , I have my own checking and savings accounts while he has a $1 and some change in his just to keep it open.
No thank I would never have joint account with my wife. She's a spender,. I'm a saver. I want to save save so I can work less. I stick off working. Slaving my life away.
Good for you, you're not stupid like my Dad.
Dave says a lot of stuff that’s will leave you ending badly
What if my girlfriend has $263,000 in student debt? Should I still combine my finances with her if we end up getting married? We are currently about 7 months in dating
Do not pay for a girlfriend's student debt or even a wife's, if the debt was incurred before marrying. Many women use men to pay off their debts then run off with another man, it's not worth the risk. Keep the finances separate and do not consider combining, even after marriage, until SHE has paid HER student loans IN FULL.
Get a prenup! Invest in a lawyer, carefully write out EVERYTHING before marriage... and keep your finances separate throughout
do not marry over a quarter million dollars in debt. once she pays it off, then consider it
If you choose to get married , then it is your debt together. No his, no hers. Successful marriages are built on oneness in every area of life. Prenuptials are marriage ruiners. Get premarital counselling before you get engaged. Don't combine finances or live together when dating and once you are married don't acr like roommates by keeping any secrets at all or having separate goals, dreams, or accounts.
@@jojohns9670prenups can worth as much as used toilet paper on divorce court especially if you’re a man. Don’t bother trusting it
Still doesn't make any sense of why you'd have to combine your finance! If I own our house and both have our own cars, and one takes care of the utilities other takes of the groceries, then why would we have to combine our finance? I don't agree with Mr. Ramsey here.
Why wouldn’t you?
And he explains, maybe not in This video, that’s it’s to work together with your spouse as a team. Not roommates. Which is what you described.
@@BlueDauntless Not necessarily. It all depends on how you look at it. If you look at it a roommate way then that's your opinion, not applicable for everyone! Also what if your partner is financially irresponsible? What if you have no student loan or debt in general but your partner is coming on board with a $100k+ debt? Why does someone have to share that burden? In my opinion, this sharing finance is just for people who don't understand finances at all. This method will only contribute to more and more clashes between couples. It's a concept promoted by people who just wanna take a jab at their partner's finances which is simply sickening.
We were able to buy a home with cash last year because we have had seperate bank accounts. My husband and I been together for 25yrs still very much in love. We both work and he trusts me with money. Im just better at managing money. Thats all. I dont see why a joint account is a must.
Dave believes that separate accounts means that the couple isn't working together jointly, has different goals than the other and is leading the way to an unsustainable marriage.
@@texan903 I feel like a good grounding is sharing a savings account/investments.
@@katy3901 Joint accounts only work when both partners communicate and are on the same page and are bringing something to the table.
@@texan903 Absolutely. I completely agree. The reason I'd advocate for separate checking but perhaps combined savings is that, on a personal level, I know I need to give myself structure and transparency with finances, that I think would be compromised if combining *everything*.
@@katy3901 You sound like me. I think a joint savings is probably necessary in the event of an emergency but for discretionary spending, separate accounts. One spouse or the other can easily gain control in a marriage with combined checking accounts and that's not a level of control that I'm prepared to give someone else.
I have been married for 10 years and we DO NOT have joint accounts.
Me and my wife are both financially savy, so we control our own monies very well - also we onky have a joint account for bills etc. That's it.
No matter what you do, property obtained prior to marriage is considered separate property by majority of the state law. For example, husband got a house before marriage using his own money, and during marriage there is one joint account between the two and bills are used to pay for utility, kids and grocery expenses and each of them maintain separate bank account. If it is the husband only made payment to the mortgage, upon divorce, the wife will not be having the original share of the house but instead she will get half of different in between the original purchasing price and the current price of the house. That's how that word in majority of the state !!!!
Every state is different.