Q+A: "Can you settle a decluttering debate?" "How do I manage a 'Monica' closet?"
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- Опубликовано: 2 июл 2024
- Our Summer Declutter Challenge kicks off on Monday! Find full details here: www.theminimalmom.com/mentors...
Today I'll answer YOUR questions! If you'd like to leave a voicemail with your own question, you can do so here: www.speakpipe.com/MinimalMom
TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Answering Your Questions
00:50 How do I solve my “Monica” closet?
06:27 My husband and I can't agree on this, help?
11:25 How do I push further without feeling guilty?
15:90 How do I get out of the comparison trap?
17:50 Decluttering with ADHD and no motivation, how do I get going?
23:30 How do I let go of perfectly good things?
Resources mentioned:
Podcast with Sarah McDonald: 5 Tips on Surviving & Thriving with Chronic Illness: • 5 Tips on Surviving & ...
The Science of Stuff by Britt Frank: • The interruption of st...
The Minimal Mom Mentorship Group: www.theminimalmom.com/mentors...
Welcome to The Official Minimal Mom Podcast channel. If you'd like to hear previous episodes, you can find them on all podcasting apps including Apple Podcasts, Spotify and iTunes.
Thank you so much for listening and could I ask a favor? Would you mind subscribing? It helps RUclips recommend this podcast to more friends. Thank you! Dawn
ABOUT THE MINIMAL MOM:
Hi, I'm Dawn, if we haven't met before, I'm married to Tom and we have four kids ages 8-13. We live outside of the Twin Cities in MN and have called ourselves minimalists for 8 years now. We got rid of 85% of our stuff and don't miss ANY OF IT!
If you'd like to see more instructional videos about minimalism and decluttering, be sure to check out my other channel @theminimalmom
Thank you for listening to our podcast channel! Would you mind subscribing? And our Summer Declutter Challenge kicks off on Monday! Find full details here: www.theminimalmom.com/mentorship-group I love you and hope you have a great weekend!! - Dawn
I’m really interested in the event of declutter together?
I grew up in the 1960s and our "church toy" to keep my 2 brothers and I quite was a 2×3 spiral notebook and a pencil. I believe that somehow we have over complicated what kids need.
This is true. We bring a zipper bag with a spiral notebook and a pack of colored pencils to church. That's it. 👍🏼
If you haven’t read it yet, highly recommend “Simplicity Parenting” by Kim John Payne. I remember playing with my mom’s drawer of scarves and turns out there’s a reason - silk and cotton have a nice feeling of being soft and cool to the touch, versus plastic that doesn’t have interesting texture, weight, temperature. So simple!
I was thinking the same thing.
We had church toys. That was fun to update as my girl grew. When she got old enough. I would ask her once a year or a month. And ask what would you like? Sometimes it was a binder with (like was mentioned) colored pencils. Sometimes it was one doll and a diaper bag for the doll. As she got older that really helped. Also we set up a notes notebook at around age 10. Because she saw me taking notes.
I used to work at my church, tidying the pews being one of my jobs. I often found prayer cards with drawings or scribbles on them. Made me smile.
My 2 year old granddaughter impressed me the other day. We were going outside and she had a place mat from the living room in her hand. She stopped herself at the door, went and put it away, and came back. Interesting how innately tidy she can be.
Our church provides a small zippered bag with the current children's bulletin, paper, crayons, and a pencil. The bulletin and used paper goes home, and the rest are put back in the bag for the next week. Children do not need excess items.
To the woman with menopause who doesn't care...join the mentorship group for one month and just try it out! I am in menopause and I also quit caring and had come against a brick wall and I joined in late December and have made great strides!!! ❤❤
The points you make about regretting that ONE item and remembering THAT as why you are afraid to keep decluttering, versus the 1,000 other items you’ve never thought about again is SO true for me! (And the Harvard-Yale alternate paths comparison! That’s always me with any decision as well!) I really appreciate you addressing it and pointing out that any choice will always have some risk involved!
Thank you so much! ❤ I was going to move after divorce but ending up keeping my home. I’d put a lot of decluttered tubs in the lined shed. It was overwhelming when it had to be organised too. So I’d do a session and not get far. Next day, the same. However the 3rd day it had transformed some floor space, yet I don’t know how. So I realised this was a pattern and not judge one or two sessions and not to be discouraged.
Wow, I didn’t expect deep philosophy here - about making decisions, not being able to compare two outcomes, just making the best decision you can and accepting you might make a mistake, since you can’t see the future. Thanks!
To the person who asked about decluttering or chores first, how about a deep declutter of the first place you want the kids to help with chores, then get them started on that?
Then declutter the next space for them to follow up with chores, and so on? It doesn't have to be all or nothing! :)
Best answer ~ very well said!
Instead of taking the bag to church - let the children pick out one toy before they leave for church and after a few weeks you will know the ones they like and the ones you are free to pass on.
I’m glad you mentioned that this was a separate channel from your other, because I totally didn’t even notice that! Subscribed!✔️
Thank you, I hadn't noticed, but now subbed as well.
This was really helpful for me. I live in a tiny studio apartment, and I always wonder why things don't fit. It's because my storage spaces don't have space for growth! It's like a light bulb went off in my head with this podcast. THANK YOU. This will definitely make a difference in my decluttering journey.
To the lady who asked about decluttering or getting kids involved in helping around the house first, I thought your answer was great, Dawn but I would add to try to put a time limit on it; like try to get the decluttering done in the next 3 months or ? and hit it hard like you mentioned. Otherwise, it could drag on for years, especially if habits aren’t changing quick enough and stuff is still being brought in. When you just lightly declutter, it doesn’t always change the habits, but when you really hit it hard, that’s when the habits seem to change.
Agree my daughter is 3 and she’s not willing to declutter the toys yet and I’ve just been sort of pulling them off in time will tell bins because the last time I got rid of a toy she still occasionally asks for it but she’s stopped crying over it however, as I’ve been decluttering both of our closets she brought me a shirt the other day and said here mommy this is to small it needs to go to a smaller kid and walked back out of the room. It got my husband to give up some clothes too😂
Another aspect to the concept of not filling a given space is that for many, especially as we age, handling a lot of stuff to get what we want becomes difficult due to bad back, arthritic fingers, failing eyesight, etc. In my case (age 80), I have intermittent pain and weakness at the base of my thumbs. Having to pull out a couple of appliances to get to the blender or whatever is not an acceptable form of exercise!
I really enjoy hearing the voicemails from real people, it's fun! (and the sound quality is great!!) It is kind of jarring though to hear the gentleman who does your intro 😂 I think I'm so used to hearing YOU talk and do intros and you're so good at it! If you ever wanted to skip that and just welcome folks to your podcast yourself I think it would sound great :)
Yes to realizing the necessity of maintenance. I totally was there thinking that once I've done the organizing it should just stay that way. But with 5 other people in my house besides me, nope. It definitely needs continual maintenance. 😅
Perfect re-homing is a trap. 'Great analogy. It's not a pet, it's stuff. Someone you don't know will be thrilled with your donation.
CAs began this idea, and now many ppl repeat, “It’s not a cat!”
My big issue lately is with the Goodwill. I went in recently and saw my donated items marked up so high that it’s unaffordable to most. I think I may try a church rummage sale or somewhere else if anyone has feedback. I know this takes up energy, but I hate to donate something and then see it priced out of reach of people who would want or need it.
Kasey’s I’ve noticed at some places we donate to they have % off days or mark down days, so maybe you saw your item priced for the full amount so when it’s marked down day the place will still make a profit. Just saying?
Do you have one of those little food pantries in your area? I have one across the street and I started taking everything there. If it's a lot, I bag it up and put it under the little pantry cabinet.
Yep, I choose my church to donate to long before goodwill and I don’t even go to goodwill to begin with
Goodwill is not a charity, it's a business. That said, it's an easy place to drop off your stuff without throwing it away. You just have to accept that their main goal is to make money, and if you're OK with that... that's fine. If not, then there are other places to donate stuff, it just might take more effort!
I donate to different places for different things. I find some places that are closer to my heart; books go to our towns little free library, craft supplies to a thrift store on a nearby military post. Items with no other designated place go to Goodwill simply because it is easy. I figure people have agency and can decide if an item at Goodwill is worth it to them or not. If not, there are more reasonably priced thrift stores.
To the women with church toys, ask pastor/ congregation if they can be donated to the children’s room or play chest. If they can only be played with at church your children will appreciate them more, and other children can also use them as well. Bonus they stay at church and you don’t have to drag them back and forth each week.
Yep, we had a doll house the kids only played with sometimes so I took to to my daughters preschool and they were so happy to have it and she still gets to play with it and so will the kids that continue to go to school there
Mom of twin boys (3yrs) one has ASD but my other son, was pretty involved with decluttering toys. We are doing the time will tell method. He gave permission for some of the toys to “live in the garage in a box.” For being 3 years old I was very impressed because he was ok with a lot of things not living in the house. Then I purchased a cube storage unit and every box has a category, and he loves it! My living room has NEVER looked this good (since i became a mom) he will stop and put things away before pulling more things out (not 100% of the time but about 50%)
It’s such a gift you are giving to your boys at this age. I started decluttering when my twin boys were about 3 and I got them involved too. They’re 9 now and they love to declutter and tidy their room. They really appreciate a simplified space and can tidy so easily by themselves now
This is super helpful - especially that it's ok to declutter without the kids. I needed that permission 😅
Side note - you are one of my all time favorite youtubers so NO shade - you are NOT an enneagram 2! Enneagram is a big sham with a sneaky ideology that runs it that most Christians don’t realize.
Throw out the enneagram and keep doin what your doin 😂❤
NO shade, but I feel that way about Christianity. However, I'm not going to tell Dawn to throw it out, just because I know that it's a fairytale. People are gonna believe what they're gonna believe no matter how crazy it is. Read the very first page of the Bible and tell me that it's not the most ridiculous sham imaginable! One woman's enneagram is another woman's Bible.
@@PennyPowell-fr9ec I get that! If I thought it were just pure fantasy then I'd leave it alone but I actually think it is destructive.
Two things you have said really hit home for me. “You’re not re-homing a cat”. And…”You will reach a tipping point”. I remember getting to “that feeling”, while decluttering with a friend. She said, “ Susie, what happened to you?” 😂
Totally resonate with the don't care if it stays there forever. This time in life is just so hard on you , even with a minimal house. I hope you find the MOJO you need.
Having a decluttering community is HUGE! Watching lots and lots of videos and then decluttering, or even decluttering while watching the videos helps a lot too.
Dawn, thank you SOOO much for this episode! Especially your answer for questions #3 was SO encouraging and helpful. This is exactly where I am right now with my decluttering journey. The LORD led me to your channel back in 2020 and I have had such a fantastic time getting rid of so much excess stuff I just didn't need. It's been glorious (I definitely get a dopamine high off of decluttering 😂)! However, lately I have found myself struggling to go forward. In my heart I REALLY WANT TO but my brain keeps pushing back. For me it is more sentimental, quality items that were given to me (not so much stuff I've spent money on)...and the big question my brain keeps throwing up is,"Why WOULD you declutter anymore? What's the purpose? You got rid of the excess. You're at a comfortable, manageable limit. No one else in your house is bothered by this (in fact, they're feelings might be hurt if you progress and wind up getting rid of something they gave you 😢). None of your possessions are now a problem...so why take the precious time, energy, and focus it would require to go further with simplifying when from this point on you could be getting rid of something important, even irreplaceable, for no good reason?"
And, truthfully, I can't give my brain a good, logical answer.
Yet, in my heart--in my SPIRIT--I just know I want to and need to.
So THANK YOU for your gentle push to KEEP GOING. It was providential for me today. ❤
God bless you!
Christis Joy
Matthew 6:19-20 ❤
P.S. And if anyone reads this who would like to offer any other encouragement or advice, I would GLADLY and GRATEFULLY take it! 😄❤️
Absolutely wonderful!! You never disappoint Dawn.❤
It helps me so much to think of someone else actually needing and using something after I’ve donated it!
I work with Children's Ministry, and we have worship bags at our church hanging in the sanctuary. Maybe your church leadership might like your supplies to create some for families. It eliminates the need for folks to have to bring items from home.
For the second question, I would suggest why can't the kids do both? They can have chores while the parents declutter. Let the kids see how much easier a chore is when there's less stuff. That way the understanding the why of decluttering much better AND they build habits.
Yes knowing your organizing style is key! Thanks for these kinds of conversations Dawn. 😊 Cute shirt, by the way! Reducing the inventory in my house has been the kindest thing I’ve ever done for myself. ❤
Great info. Thank you, Dawn!
Great questions and answers thank you!
Can you do another video on childhood sentimental items, both for me and kids.
Great tips as always friend! We all love you too! ❤
You do such a great job answering all the questions!!! Thanks!
☕️ break and as always looking forward to sharing time with you
Loving these question and answers. It has been answering all the questions I’ve had and have been hesitant to ask. THANK YOU DAWN!
Great ideas❤
Fellow Enneagram 2 - so true!!! I feel so much better when we can create systems that enable everyone to help 🙂
Ok Dawn here is my struggle. I am fairly minimal about needed things. Hygiene, make up, dishes, etc. Perfectly happy with that. However I struggle with decor. I'm a butterfly with a low clutter threshold. So essentially my decor style is pretty cluttered 😂. And since my clutter threshold is low it quickly just looks messy. BUT minimal spaces don't make me feel comfortable. How do I deal with this? I'm honestly leaning towards just having plants for decor to make it feel better 🤷.
Maybe copy some online inspiration. I just started taking a few things away until it felt right.
You should check out Dawn's videos and her podcast of hushing a space. It's a good one for decor.
Plants are great, but remember, they are living thongs, and they have to be looked after.
Where did you get your shirt?! I absolutely love it.
Funny story Dawn. When my son was 2 I decided to declutter his toys. One of the toys I threw out was the rubber duck in the bathroom. He was sooooo upset Inhad to got to Wal Mart and buy another one. 😂😂😂😂😂
good stuff! mahalo
The only item i regret declutterring was my rolling pin. Really!
Listening
Guilty of the “rumination “
I wish i could spammed my family's youtube feed with your content. They got very defensive, understandably, whenever they mention their embarassment of their cluttered house but immediately shut down before i could suggest something.
I would think it has something to do with like clutter equals to weeds
As things we use are equal to plants
I have 2 yes 2 closets of containers and yeehaw I am stuck
Help please!
😊😊😊
I have to totally disagree with getting rid of your children's toys without their input on it. Depending on their age which could be anywhere from Age 5 to teenager, they should be a part of it because they're attached to things just like we are. I remember two things in particular that my mother threw away because I don't think toys were donated back when I was a child, Ann's it was very traumatizing to see one of my favorite toys in the garbage can. I felt like I belonged in the garbage can because of that. The other one was what you would call a transitional object and it was a stuffed animal that I had with me all the way traveling overseas to live with my family as a 6 year old. It was very important to me but it was thrown out with no discussion or anything. It was a horrible event and I really caution parents against doing that.
Where does one start
Where you want to start. If you have a lot of stuff start with your clothes.
Dana K White from A Slob Comes Clean (who does the Take Your House Back course with Dawn and Cas) says to start in your most visible space - the first place people see when they enter your home.
Once you get that decluttered, go to your next most visible space, and so on.
For me, it was the front room, then the kitchen, the guest bathroom, and then the game room.
Now that those have all had a first pass, I'm starting on my hidden spaces in order of functionality; the more frustrating a space is, the sooner I work on it.
So I did a first pass on the primary bedroom and bathroom. Now I'm focused on the garage. After that, I'll tackle the hall closet and laundry room.
Then I'll start all over again with another, deeper round of decluttering in each of those spaces, starting to incorporate simple organization based on Cas's Clutterbug styles.
Once we've lived like that for a while - say a year or two - we'll probably have another round of decluttering to do to be able to live lightly and freely.
But in the meantime, if I feel annoyed or disappointed by an item, I put it in the donatable donate box - no matter where in the house it came from.
But yeah, just start in your most visible space. That way, when someone comes to your door after you've been working hard on your house, you won't still be embarrassed by what they see. You'll have immediate results of an easier, less stressful life.
Dana's video How to Start Decluttering Even When You're Overwhelmed might help
ruclips.net/video/KB1hNf4zQT4/видео.htmlsi=a3fmU5W_sbqULqU8
I can't help but wonder if your mom wants to throw YOUR books at HER HOUSE out on the lawn. Why would you even say that about your kids' stuff??? I used to love your channel but wow......it's just very disingenuous.
I think Dawn was just joking about how a mom feels overwhelmed by their kids things when not tidied up.
She was kidding…..
Every family works differently. Perhaps she asked her parents if she could keep that stuff there until she could get to it. Just because she has some things at her parents house doesn’t mean that she’s disingenuous. My parents were able to do the same thing for me until I could take those things and start tackling them. I see Dawn being very open and honest about her approach and struggles.