On the first story, this is definitely a misunderstanding based on a huge change in dating protocols over the generations. I'm in my 50s (been married for more than 25yr, so haven't been in this new dating scene at all). Back in my youth, if you made a date for Friday it was assumed that agreeing to the date was your "confirmation" and not only did you not call during the week to re-confirm if you did (especially the guy) it was seen as a needy, clingy or at worst "controlling" move and would be perceived as a huge red flag.
Yes i agree, also: 25 years ago if someone asked you out he/she had to come to you and ask in person for a date, in this way you could value the effective interest of that person; now it's all done by an app and you've never seen each other before, that's why this new etiquette exist/is needed (there are a lot of trolls and catfish)
@@montsetreserra3499 Yes, I think that's part of it, but also people today have way more communications technology at their disposal than we did back then. I had a land line and an answering machine, there was no way to get ahold of each other easily most of the time so we didn't expect to.
When I was online dating, I matched with a guy and after chatting a bit he asked if I wanted to go out for dinner/drinks. I agreed. He asked for my address so he could pick me up. I very politely declined the pickup and said I would meet him there (I’m female - driving myself gives me a sense of security in many ways). He didn’t respond. After a few hours I texted and said “We meeting?” He responded “You wouldn’t let me pick you up so I assumed then that you would stand me up. So I am preempting that and cancelling the date.” That was wild to me. I’m sorry if you’ve been stood up by other women, but my wanting to drive myself and not give a stranger my address for safety reasons isn’t something I’m going to compromise for your bruised ego.
You were absolutley right in not giving your address to a stranger, and his risponse is a big red flag for me, the world is not a kind place and being a woman is more dangerous for us in many ways, so you were right in following your instinct
If he just wanted to get a strange woman in his car, there are plenty of them on certain streets in my city. And dating them costs a lot less than dinner.
Maybe not even about an ego... Maybe he really did have bad intentions and since he couldn't get you in his car, then there was no reason for a "date" any longer!
yeah but like he says he is going to pay then like right after not skiping a beat saying your going to leave. its kinda impolite. you gotta like wait a few moments. thank him maybe chat for a moment then leave not just "ok your paying thank you byeeee" nah not cool. i get it you are not interested and dont want to lead him on but that quick from A to B is a tad impolite. time stamp 8:10 if thats not the one you are talking about. ops my bad....
Yeah : pay your bill and just answer "no, thank you, goodbye". And guys... plz... if you have fun on the diner, no matter the end... chill... it was a good experience, keep it like it
How about accountability? You wanted the date you pay. Who ever invites pays. Its just the respectful thing to do. However, he or she who accepts the invite should only accept if they are genuinly interested, if it doesnt go well afterwards its OKAY, its not the end of the world if you invite within your means. But if youre inviting someone who doesnt show excitement or interest in getting to know you and the date doesnt go well afterwards its on you. Men need to grow a pair and be responsable about the desicions that they take, honestly. And then they want to generalize and blame all womena and make the rest of us pay for their insecuritys with past women whom THEY chose to date? A lot of bitching and whining. No wonder.
@@snowfroten5406 I mean she literally asked him and thanked him when he said he'll pay, that's the polite thing to do. Wanting to be a people pleaser by engaging in superficial conversation after would probs just hammer home his entitlement towards her and doesn't exactly have something to do with politeness.
My now husband’s credit card declined on the first date. He was so embarrassed. He had his bank card and paid with that. (After I offered to cover it!) I thought “I have my own money. It’s ok if he’s a bit strapped”. So we continued to date. I later found out he literally hates debt. Everything he owns is paid outright and refused to have his credit card limit raise above $200. Twelve years later and I’m so in love with him. He balances my spending habits! Don’t be too quick to judge.
I’ve been married over 30 yrs, I told him when we got married if he wants to make sure we have money, he needs to be in charge of the money. I was a stay at home mom & he will be able to retire in 2025. We have no debts. We pay cash for our vehicles, house was paid off 10 years ago, & we will be very comfortable when he retires. Our 1st date was a blind double date. We both lived at our parents until the day we said I Do! We are very “Old School” I know, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. We are in our 50’s & we are happy❣️
The second story was really gross. She lifted to split and pay her way, but he's like, "I got it". But when she doesn't let him walk her to room.. he flips the script. What a loser.
Scary, and definitely a red flag. He should understand that it’s a scary world out there for women, even if he’s not a “scary guy”. No true gentleman would take offense.
@@kiwik2951 I would argue no modern woman would accept a stranger paying for something if they werent into them. Hell most guys actually love it when a woman offers to pay for her share, big green flag right there. Charlotte has the right of it here, if you aren't into someone you don't accept gifts from them and if you do you then you know exactly why you are (basically taking advantage of their attraction to you.) Pretending to be naive about it is not an excuse in this modern day and age and dudes are becoming hyper aware of this fact. Ladies you have money, put in the effort, take the initative and stop thinking "oh my time is much more valuable than his is.... I should be paid for gracing him with my presence" coz it doesn't wash now. You wont but another woman will and she is the prize guys are looking for.
@@DaciValtto save men like you all that hassle why not just ask her if she will sleep with you for a plate of food and see what she says or be up front and say let's split the bill, don't even offer to pay. Men say and do whatever it takes to increase their chances of getting sex hence why most women aren't trusting for the first couple of dates. I don't get why you call it a gift cos the last I checked gifts don't come with so many strings attached. Men want sex after spending a little bit of money but even a working prostitute charges more for sex than a plate of food. Men don't want to visit a prostitute and have that transactional sex they expect cos they don't like the idea of every man being in her and they like the feeling of conquest over getting women that aren't prostitutes to sleep with them. But what kinda world would we live in if you teach your daughters to sleep with every guy that offers her a plate of food. The way I see it if the man is asking her out on the date then let him pay, women spend more of their lives rejecting random strange men than accepting them.if they even said yes to a date it shows interest, otherwise women will be out accepting every offer that comes their way only for a measly plate of food and women AREN'T DOING THAT😂 If women were that hungry, we could log onto any dating app and within the hour have more than 100 messages come flooding in and start sending out request for free food like a beggar. You think you are competing with other men but in reality, the modern world has kinda given women almost every single tool for her to live happily without a man so you are in actually competing with her peace as a single woman cos so many of these men act so ...... 🙄
He 'flips the script' because he's not there just to talk. If the girl doesn't want to put out, then he has no reason to get into her good books and has no incentive to pay if there's nothing in it for him. Girls should just not accept a date from someone they aren't feeling
I usually agree with Charlotte but this first story was a bit annoying. If she wasn’t sure if the date was cancelled or not, why didn’t SHE reach out with a quick text like, ‘Hey, we still on for Friday?’ How old is this woman? I got the vibe that she wasn’t really interested in the first place and was looking for a reason to bail. He dodged a bullet imo. 8th grade level communication skills.
You dont text date isnt on simple as that. No one is entitled to anyones time if they dont put the effort in, specialy a stranger´s . Men lead in courtship, women follow if they are interested. He didint lead she couldnt follow even if she wanted to. Its called self respect.
I agree. But then I have anxiety, so I would be scared about missing something. But I would message if its still on and if that scares them off, then I guess I don't need him.
Same, but it's not an age thing my partner and I (age 25) both agree that if she needs a confirmation she should have texted him it seems ridiculous saying that he made the date so he needs to confirm, your the one that needed it he can't read your mind and know you need this because your a stranger. He made the first move maybe she should reciprocate.
When I was 20 I went on a date with a 30 year old guy who wore ridiculously long white socks with black shoes (and tan cargo shorts) with a tucked-in striped polo shirt, he topped it all off with a phone clip clipped to his belt. He definitely gave off 45 year old Barbecue Dad vibes. I was a little taken aback at first 😂 We ended up having a great time and have been married now for 10 years with 4 kids 🥰😆
The guy in the restaurant, if he got that upset in public, imagine what could have happened if she had let him walk her to her room then said he wasn’t coming in!…..Yikes!
@Blondie77128 100% He wanted to pay all the way up until he realized he wasn't going to get his dick wet. Then he accuses her of using him for a free meal, when he was fully expecting to use her as a discounted prostitute. Typical "nice guy" behavior 🙄
The most memorable talk I ever had with my Dad was as I was getting ready to leave on my first real dinner date. My dad gave me $40 and said "Make sure you pay for yourself." and when I asked why, he said "Guys pay for dinner to make chicks feel like they owe them something. You don't ever owe a guy anything." I will never ever forget that lesson, and when my son starts dating, I will teach him the same thing. I still let the guy pay. He tried something. I confidently denied him and went home with my $40 in my pocket 😂
Good job - it's still the case that most men are earning more than women in similar positions *and* women generally pay more money for the clothes, make-up, hair, whatever they are doing for a date. It's not fair if women need to expect to give a bigger percentage of their income to "finding a partner".
I have always been very... don't want no guy thinking I'm woth them for money. Amd, unfortunately I've been woth a couple broke ass dudes but, I was always in it for love. No matter what other the situation. However, when I met my husband after we met, the first time he came to hang out, my electric got turned off that morning 🤦♀️ do I tried to call him and reschedule. He didn't wanna reschedule. Even after I told him why. He took the day off work. He also offered to pay my electric bill and I declined. We were together 5 years, married for 8.5 months before he passed, but he told me it made him feel like a man to support us. It took me little by little to accept. Lol but eventually I got there. Now I have to remember what it was like to be poor lol
@@keladry12 No, it is not the case in a like-for-like job. Yes but their choice; men spend their money on other things. Yes it would be fair if that were the case, which it isn't, because strong independent women such as yourself are always sneeringly claiming 'We Don't Dress or Put On Makeup for No Man, We Do It for Ourselves'.
As a female, I would have had no idea it needed to be confirmed, plus him saying happy Friday and her giving some response at least confirms there's been no ghosting
@@trains889 exactly!! guys always said that "we can't read your mind, so speak up", so please go by that logic, "set a date/appointment, then confirm the date" simple as that, Women can not read, man's mind too
@@wellknown1204 Both of them agreed days earlier to have a date on Friday - appointment set and confirmed right there. It was on both of them to mark their calendars on that date. He definitely did, her? Maybe, maybe not. But assuming she did, why would she think it's not set when they already agreed to go days earlier? Assuming she didn't mark it on her calendar, why the hell not? That's clear failure of communication on her part.
@@wellknown1204 What? They agreed to the date and nothing changed for him? So it should be clear that they will meet on Friday? You don't need to read minds, just your chat in this case.
@@wellknown1204 He did speak up Date, time and place. That was it job done, text her friday morning to, at that point why does he need to confirm more? He already knew when and where they were meeting, he communicated his situation and intentions very clearly from the start, she was the one that didn't. There was literally nothing to mind read on her side, he'd communicated perfectly.
@@kimberlytl6127he also could have shown up on time for the date......how does he know she wasn't there on time and when she got the text saying grab a table (meaning the time for the date had already arrived) that he was still going to be 5-10 minutes late, she might have left....some people punctuality (or lack thereof) is a deal-breaker
@@SoManyRandomRamblings life is gonna life & sometimes it causes people to run late. If that was her deal breaker, then she should have said that when he called instead of what she did.
I feel like the confirmation could be as easy as “can’t wait to see you tonight! Or something like that. That lets them know you’re still planning on the date without being super clingy and needy.
It’s so stupid they both agreed to go on the date that’s your confirmation. Why do you need to text her on the days leading up to it. You both dont know each other it comes off as her being clingy that she needs to hear from him. Just wait until the date you both agreed on. Plus if she was concerned send him a text like woman are lazy it pisses me off.
@@ryans413 as a woman, I agree with everything you said. If I make plans with someone I’m planning on that. It’s immature to need constant confirmations of plans that were agreed upon over text. But like you pointed out-if she wasn’t sure she could’ve texted him and said “can’t wait for dinner tonight” and then when he put a thumbs up on it that’s the confirmation. Or whatever. But for plans made on like Tuesday you shouldn’t need to confirm on Friday. Plans made a week or more out I could see double checking-but like-don’t be made if THEY don’t double check. Again. If you feel insecure-send a text. It’s not that hard. But she did him a favor anyways. She sounds awful. 😝
If the girl in the first one wanted another confirmation, she should have asked! "hey, are we still meeting tonight at the pizza place?" ...is that so hard? He didn't ghost her, he texted "happy friday" on that morning! NTA Just _assuming_ that your date won't show up just because they didn't confirm _a second time_ and therefore not showing up yourself is the real a-hole move!
That second guy was the worst!! Just because he paid for her meal does not automatically mean he gets “more”. He was a creep and had an attitude because she denied him access to her room. Who does he think he is!?
It's like these guys pay just for the sake of seeing how a woman will react to their advances, and if she doesn't react the way they want, use that as an excuse to act bitter and make assumptions about her just because she doesn't want to sleep with him on the first date.
It's disgusting. The cost of dinner can couldn't get a professional a call girl, much less full on -ex!!! Maybe from a strung out crackhead in a dark alley, but that's it. I wouldn't let any stranger walk me to my room...
The guy in the first story did text her on Friday. The girl that responded said he NEVER contacted her. That was FALSE. I don't think he was wrong. No one should assume he isn't going to show up.
Didn't he text her before the date telling her he'll be late? Like it wasn't a morning confirmation but a sorry I'll be late (which is not okay in my book you should manage your time properly for any appointment unless shit happens, always leave early).
Whoever plans the date has to confirm. That's the normal thing to do. If I set a date, which I'm normally the one who always does, I always make sure I confirm at least the day before. It's common knowledge. The person who sets the date always confirms.
I've been in the restaurant/bar industry for a while & I promise you for the most part once you know who your server is, if you ask them to split the bill (this can easily be done if you get there early or at any time excuse yourself to the bathroom (after you order is always a good time) & ask the host to speak to your server quickly if you don't see them) and ask them to ensure you get your half of the bill no matter what the other one says, unless you confirm they are paying the full (per YOUR comfort on allowing them to do so). The systems are set up so it's easy to combine a check or split it but advance notice helps. Most servers you come across will be happy to do this especially for a first date situation.
What kind of an A hole wants to split a check on a date they were asked on????!! The person asking the other person out, pays! That's common courtesy. I guess common sense and manners have flown out the window. Ladies need to start expecting more from men, and respecting themselves enough to know they are worth a dinner! Stop lowering the standards for women that want to be treated like ladies! If you wanna be the man in the relationship, go ahead and pay, but don't complain later when they treat you like a dude, and take advantage!
Before I got married I went on a date with a really nice guy I met on an app. I didn’t expect much, but I was shocked that he was on time and very sweet. We had dinner and the vibes were fantastic….until he looked me dead in the eyes and says “my wife is going to love you!” The physical gymnastics I managed in those heels as I fled could land me an Olympic medal. Thankfully I met my husband a few months later and we’ve been married for 10 years. 😊
Sorry Charlotte, I disagree with the over 40 guy dating. I am over 40, so dating has been a while for me, 20 years ago when you set a date, it was a date. He sent her a happy Friday message, enough to let her know he was excited about the date. The rules have obviously changed and am sad the guy got so much backlash, however, have some respect and don't call a girl a b* on social media, that is not ok.
If she was a young woman that logic is not valid. I am in my 20s and if the guy that set up the date does not communicate with me the entire week I'll see it as rude and a proof of disinterest, and whats more as totaly obvious that the date is canceled. We live in an age of fast communication when you can reach someone anytime, anywhere, whenever via phone or text. There is no excuse for not talking to your partner for an entire week .
@@purple66666 I don’t see why you should communicate. As they all have said, they’re strangers, and want to meet up for a date. That’s the best time to communicate. That way, you don’t set any expectations, or feelings, and start the date neutral. And ALSO he DID say “happy friday” which was communication. And why is he the ONLY one who has to put in the effort? Why didn’t she? Double standards.
I wouldn't know that you are supposed to confirm either, but using the b* word does explain why he is still single. The question is: how old was she? Because if she was over 40 then I think she would not have expected a confirmation. Younger people however are used to communicate more, so I'd say she was probably younger, in which case it's best that they didn't meet.
With the first one, there was obviously a misunderstanding about dating etiquette. If I were the woman he was going on a date with, I probably would've texted to confirm the day of if I wasn't sure we were still on. I think both of them acted inappropriately, her for not even checking to attend, and him for calling her out of her name after. They both could've handled this better with better communication.
He didn't show enough interest, so there was nothing there for her to have interest in. It only makes sense to confirm if you're interested. Otherwise, if they haven't said anything just walk away and move on with your life. However, if he didn't interact all week or whatever and tried to confirm the day of, she 100% should've said she wants to cancel. She might've done that, if he tried to confirm. She wasn't interested, so no reason for confirmation. He didn't confirm, so it's reasonable to think he might not have been interested. That's the logic there. It doesn't matter if you have interest if you do not express said interest.
@Mika He didn’t show enough interest by what standard? He talked to her, he chatted, he set a time and a place, she confirmed it. He then, day of, messaged her, she hearted his comment/text. That is confirmation. Did he need to send a carrier pigeon? Hold her hand to the place? Make a secret handshake. She can be wrong. Men don’t always have to be bad. Reverse the genders and tell me how he was wrong for telling her they have to reschedule? Despite wasting her entire evening.
@nwj03a By very minimal standards. Someone could plan an entire, exciting day and bring flowers or some other gift. They can put a ton of effort like creating a playlist, a scavengerhunt, etc. Someone could make chocolates. Pay for the entire thing. There is so much someone *could* do, but it isn't necessary. Interacting with someone consistently in a reasonable manner is bare minimum. It's just texting. Super easy. Not a phone call or anything like that. If someone looking in your general direction or a "hey" is enough to earn your interest, I suppose that's a win for you both. It isn't enough for most women, I feel. I know I can, and do, better than that. Why would I go on a date with someone who doesn't talk with me when I could have alone time or meet up with someone who actually interacts with me consistently? Emotionally stable and independent women have no reason to downgrade from being single and happy to giving up their enjoyable time to someone who doesn't even hold a conversation when they claimed to have enough interest for a date. I assume she tried maintaining a conversation and he just doesn't do that. And instead of saying it he probably just let every one of her attempts quickly fizzle out. I've met a lot of online guys like that. Many people already have better than that. And if the roles were reversed it would not matter. If she asked him out on a date, he tried to maintain conversation after the initial agreement, she fizzled out, didn't act at all as if you're worth her time, and didn't even bring up the date the day of he absolutely should not have interest in meeting with her and it'd be on her to express interest.
@@mikamagnol8931to be honest if she was interested she could have easily reached out to him instead of the other way around and he said they already confirmed it so there's that and also she could have asked if she wasn't sure instead of just straight up not showing up
@@nwj03a Why should SHE confirm, when HE asked for her number, and HE asked her out? If I make plans with friends and I’m the one to initiate them, I’m the one who confirms the plans with them, I don’t sit there the entire week no contact then get upset when they are not sure if the plans are still on or not. And I ESPECIALLY don’t start cursing them because of it. Also this is a stranger to him, the more reason he has to confirm with her. The fact that he straight away took to the internet to curse at her, and sent that passive aggressive message is a red flag. Also the fact that he texted her the day of but didn’t mention the date AT ALL makes it even more like the date was off. He literally texted “happy Friday”…ok? Is the date still on or not?
Yep, exactly. He realized that covering her dinner was not leverage for him to get laid. Why should she have compromised her principles and safety by letting a man she barely knew get access to her hotel room??? If those were his expectations, he could have been honest before agreeing to go out.
With the amount of men that think paying for a dinner gets them sex, perhaps regulated prostitution should be legalized, that way when these men look at you before the bill comes to ask if they can walk you to your room, you can give them directions to the nearest brothel instead.
She didn't offer until AFTER he asked to ealk,her to her room and she was full throttle insulting him. She thought she could guilt him into paying anyway by telling him she was suddenly prepared to pay herself when before she said nothing of the sort.
@@shaunofthedead3000 if he wanted transactional sex, he should have gone looking for a hooker, rather than ask a woman on a date. If she had such a problem paying she would have kept insisting instead of offering to pay her share. Usually when one person asks another on a date, they should be the one to pay, or at least clarify in the beginning that each person will cover their own expenses. If I asked a man or woman out to dinner or an event, I'd have no problem paying for both of us. But then again, I'm not thinking of the amount I spend on their meal to mean I can get sex from them, as if they OWE me for that.
@@shaunofthedead3000 You weren't exactly paying attention because she literally started by saying "Well I really appreciate it, should I pay for my half or....?". Yes, she could of just stated flat out "I'm paying for my half" but she did start off by offering to cover her half of the bill.
I had a guy I dated for a while. Everything was fine for a couple of months. Then he started talking about his dead fiancée and how much he missed her and how much I reminded him of her. A little creepy, but I get it, people grieve differently. So I was supportive. Then he said I should dye my hair black. I asked him why and he said 'because her hair was black, oh, and you need to start wearing these drop earrings, because she loved drop earrings" He was serious. I got up, got everything I had ever brought over, stuffed it in a couple of bags and left. Sorry, nope, not going to play dress up as a ghost.
Speaking of daiquirry, I took a friend to a Mexican restaurant for her birthday. We ordered drinks and appetizers, and as the server was about to walk away with our orders, she called him back to make a substitution request. She said, and I quote, "I want cheese on my nachos not that queso stuff." The server looked very confused, and I later explained to my friend that queso is the Spanish word for cheese.
Oh Lordy! This is a subject that I think all of us have experienced at one time or another... The Bad Date. Circa 1979, I went out with a guy who seemed like a country bumpkin, but I was okay with that. I have relatives in Texas and Oklahoma that I adore who are very much "country-folk". He took me to a very nice restaurant but I think it might have been his first time in such an establishment. He was suspicious of the salad, the first course, and exclaimed (loudly), "They put cornbread on my salad! Why did they put CORNBREAD on the salad??" He was talking about croutons. I thought he was making a joke so I laughed. He wasn't joking. He paid the check and I didn't notice that he only left 32 cents for the tip, under his dirty napkin and on his dirty plate. This was the kind of restaurant with white table cloths, a maître d, wine steward, sous chef, etc. Our waiter (who had been excellent) followed us out to the parking lot, threw that 32 cents at my date and told him, "You obviously need this money more than I do! Go buy yourself some class!" I was so embarrassed!
I went out on a date with a guy I met on a dating app. He talked a lot over dinner about things he'd done recently, including going out dancing, with his brother. Then he looked me dead in the eye and said. "I do everything with my brother." *pause* "Everything." I kept it together for the rest of the evening, paid for dinner, got the hell out of there, and ended contact. About a year later he late night texted me and invited me to a threesome with him and his girlfriend. I was a little tempted to ask why his brother wasn't available but I just said no and blocked him.
For the 1st one: When he texted 'Happy Friday', he (or she) could have added on 'I'm looking forward to seeing you tonight' & that would have sufficed. For me, plans were made & confirmed earlier in the week & I wouldn't need additional confirmation, as I'd consider it set unless I heard otherwise.
Or if I did need additional confirmation, I’d ask for it. His text that morning was an easy invitation for her to say “we still on for tonight?” Like why did he have to be the one to say it if she was the one thinking it was falling through?
This is what I'm thinking as well. A simple, "looking forward to meeting you tonight" or "still on for tonight?" from either of them would have solidified their plans. Since she was the one who was apparently unsure, she should have been the one to double check.
Yes, he texted her Friday morning, so obviously it was still on, or why would he text that day? I thought it was rude of her not to respond to his clear opening bid by saying she was looking forward to the date or something. This is how communication works--it's a give and take. He made the first contact, and now it's her turn to respond. Charlotte said if she showed too much interest, she would come off as needy; doesn't this work for guys, too? I am personally turned off by men who are like that, especially someone I don't know.
First guy. You did good.I'm a woman about your age, and I'd be fine with this. I'm scandinavian though,and the datingthing is different here.The expectations and demands of some women,especially "over there" are right down crazy. A guy askes you out for a pizza nobody needs affirmation and confirmation more than once. Not the A.H.
Yes, my thought exactly. I think this is something valid only for US/Canada lifestyle. I too am European and we do not need second confirmation for a date. You are only contacted in the event the date is cancelled and not the other way around.
@@ТеодораКолева-й3гI think I'm really hurt because in my personal social history it's been normal for people (friends dates family etc) to not let me know that the plans are cancelled... for example if we make plans for 2pm I'll message them at 145 and they'll be like, nah I have to clean my room....
Unless she did get there on time and whenever he texted AFTER the start time of the date and said he would still be another 5-10 minutes late that it is possible she was already there and left. For some people lack of punctuality is a deal-breaker
@@MissHellybaybee In Colombia, most people assume the arrangements are confirmation and you just check the day of if you have any doubts about any info. Hell, you don't even have to plan anything ahead, just go "Let's go out on Friday" and figure stuff out along the week or even that very same day. You don't need to RSVP with a butler and a messenger on a horse for a casual first date.
Regarding the woman whose date clearly insinuated that he should be invited to her room after paying for her dinner…I had an experience like that once, but it was in the “old days” where guys could be less subtle (yes! Less!), and it was also before women started paying for their own dinners (I know, I’m telling my age). After dinner he said he wanted to go somewhere “private” where we could “do our thing”. I asked him why he thought I was going to sleep with him after a first date, and he said (really!), “Well, I just bought you a steak dinner, so you owe me”. Dear god! I think I got out of his car at the next traffic light. Honey, I can find my way home on my own.
It's terrifying to read some of these comments and the comments responding. Some are full of men saying if they pay, they expect sex. Ew just really grossed me out. If you buy me dinner, NO that does not mean I HAVE TO sleep with you. JFC that's insanity and just appalling to me.
This is exactly why i wont let a man pay for my part of the date. Or drive me. No expectations of anyone feeling they are owed anything. We both gave our time and spent our money, and used our own gas to get there. I keep that playing field level!
I just wanted to say that I’m SO MAD because the black woman about 17 minutes in was SOOO stunningly gorgeous AND she had a COOL ASS CHILL ASS ATTITUDE. how dare someone tell her she basically wasn’t DRESSED right or making the right makeup choices in their opinion. humanity is SO wack bruh
Over 10 years ago, I had a date with a guy who asked me out for a second date. He confirmed twice in the days leading up to the date. Since the date involved getting tickets, I was surprised that I hadn’t received a final confirmation of the night before the event. So I texted him to verify the time. He responded that he was too sick to go and wanted a rain check. I never heard from him again. Later I found out through a mutual acquaintance that he took another girl.
Exactly. As you don't know the other person actually anything can happen. So you have to confirm. Plus if he puts so little effort so soon, imagine after a year into the relationship
I mean would she rather him be high maintenance and give a margarita with top shelf ingredients lol! I mean he sounded humble and honest to admit he loves cocktails instead of beer! Ohhh and don’t knock Outback Steakhouse 😂 they actually have pretty awesome drinks and food! 👍🏼🫣
Nah the first guy isn’t wrong. Confirmation is a two way street. If she wanted to text throughout the week, and wanted to confirm the date, she has full control to do that herself. She’s expecting him to put in effort she didn’t put in herself. If she had been texting and trying to confirm, that’s one thing. But to put in 0 effort herself and then get mad when she was shown 0 effort is wild to me. And what’s even more wild is he gave notice that he was gonna be late and then she ditched him. So she had no intention on going on the date and had no intention on letting him know that? Nah, she got what she put In and she can’t be mad about that.
He literally texted her that morning and she only responded by liking his message. He was the only one to provide any ounce of a confirmation. She's in the wrong on this one.
The first story I firmly believe the woman is at fault on this. It sounds like she didn't message him throughout the week, meaning he didn't reach out to her throughout the week to randomly message her. Then, on the day of their date, he messaged her "happy friday". If they made plans for Friday, and this guy messaged her ON Friday, that's a good sign he's still planning to meet up with her. If she didn't know the date was still going on, SHE should have asked after he reached out. Instead, she said nothing and then blamed him for not confirming the date for her.
Yes, thank you! I didn't understand why the guy got blamed, when he wrote her and she just responded with emoji. If anything her silence would not make me want to look annoying with many messages. I think the guy did a very reasonable steps from his side
Completely agree. Why is all the pressure on him? I would have definitely said I’m looking forward to seeing you this evening in response to his happy Friday.
I found it funny i did make a dinner date with 2 week's notice and i did not confirm it at all and both of us did show up .... that's called respecting other peoples time ,and to be honest this its totally on her
The first story was good because it shows how over-communicating can be really helpful. He obviously got his feelings hurt because everything that she didn't like was her fault lol. He didn't text because he doesn't know her, then implies it's because people/she don't get his sense of humor/sarcasm. He's only a little bit late and lets her know, but feels she should be grateful that he even let her know he'd be late. Calls her a b**ch, says texting is for little girls, says he has better things to do during the week - he should hang out with his buddies during his free time until he's willing to put in more effort.
Not one of my dates, but a friend of mine went on a date recently, and whilst they're sat at the table eating, he casually asked her "so what would your dad think if you had a black eye?" When she told him it's not her dad he needs to be worried about, she'd knock him the f out if he ever tried, he replied "well that's not very lady like, a woman should know her place" !!!!!! Not surprisingly, she left immediately!
I appreciate how charlotte is comfortable with opening up the discussion on whether you disagree or not in the comments, and that people are comfortable to. You’d assume with similar content the RUclipsr would have only “yes men” in the comments. I’ve disagreed with charlottes takes a few times, but I have no hate towards her, nor do I think others do, due to the fact that she seems so open and comfortable with people being on either side. And I greatly appreciate that. ❤ it’s so interesting to read the comments because of this as well. Good on ya Charlotte!
The first woman's story, She offered from the start to pay. He said I got it. Then changed the story to you wanted free dinner. These are the boys making it hard for the rest of us.
Lol 💀he thought he can get some 💭you know after paying for meals and walking with her to her room lol..Those are the same type of boys who will act like chad sigma and judge all women saying they all are for the stree and all 💀
Dude, the story with the last woman is INSANE. She is a 12/10 JUST in appearance, not even including the math I’m not privy to - her mind, her heart and who she is as a person - and a date told her what to do with her makeup?! 😂 World record fumble. I hope she found a man worthy of her presence because she deserves one just for the way she handled the exit.
She should have told him that even Kim K doesn’t look like she did in 2008. If he wants a Kim lookalike to “date” to fulfill some fantasy, then he should just get a blowup doll in her image and leave actual women alone. 🤦♀️
@@stevec3526 Not that it’s anyone’s business regardless but no?? She looks like she takes care of herself and was genetically blessed. And even if she did, that negates your point entirely because obviously someone wanted her for this story to have happened. Not to mention, Kim K has a whole new body at this point and men still want women to emulate her fake ass. No woman who is sure of herself gives a shit about what men want when it comes to their bodies anyway so. 💅🏻 Stay in your lane, no profile picture Steve.
Big disagree with the first story. If you have a set date, then you should assume you are still going on the date. People are busy during the work week, so some people don’t text that much during the week. If she was worried that she wasn’t getting any texts from him, she could have confirmed. I think the assumption that the date was canceled because he wasn’t chatty with her seems ridiculous to me. It feels so entitled. Communication goes both ways as well.
You say that, but honestly the amount of times guys ask me out for set day and time and then I never hear from them again is astounding, so I kinda ge it. I stopped chasing cos it's disheartening, like Charlotte says I give back the same energy, if they're messaging I'm messaging back, but honestly if the guy doesn't message me for 2 days after he asked me out the date is cancelled, this guy was an exception. I never had a situation where ha magically appeared and I stood them out by accident.
Yes I think entitled or just pessimistic in thinking he’s just not interested. I’d go with what was planned and prob leave after 15 mins if he didn’t send that message.
It's been a long time since I was in the dating world, and cell phones weren't as "popular" as a method of communication like they are now. That being said.....if I didn't hear from the guy in a few days, I would have contacted him just to confirm. But this was 20 years ago. LMAO. I am happily married now.
This is one of the few times I disagree with Charlotte. They made the date on the Tuesday, for the Friday, (3 days!) then he sends her a cute little message on the friday, which she responds to, but that's not enough confirmation for her? He even let her know he was going to be a teeny bit late, but she's just like 'you know what? This guy isn't putting enough effort in'. If his low level of texting her was a deal breaker, why didnt she cancel the date after his morning text? Or even before that? Did she cancel because he was going to be late? If she wanted confirmation, why didn't she ask him if the date was still on? It's 2023, women are allowed to do that sort of thing.
It sounds like she wasn't planning on showing up anyway. Usually people say they're gonna be late pretty close to the meet-up time. So her not even being there after only a few minutes makes me assume she never even bothered to get ready...
I was on a first date and I was so nervous. And I get clumsy when I'm nervous. So I spilled a FULL glass of iced tea ALL over my lap and I was SO embarrassed! ... we're about to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary in a few weeks.
The story that made me the most angry was the man who expected the woman to invite him to her room because he bought her dinner... I would think anyone wanting a second date and hopefully more, wouldn't put pressure for something more than what the woman is comfortable with to happen on the first date. And any guy that thinks a woman's worth is the cost of a dinner, isn't even worth the hassle of having that dinner paid for. Most of us women know that at this point, and will happily pay for our meal to get out of feeling like we owe anyone anything. Most of us will pay for our dinner period, just like she offered to begin with. But then he had to go and make it even more weird after he said he would pay. He went from being a gentleman to a complete creep in like 2 minutes. If it wasn't clear for the one who showed up to the coffee date and he had another woman with him, he was expecting her to be their Unicorn. For those that might not know what a Unicorn is, it is a woman willing to have a threesome with an established couple. I mean he could have at least bought her coffee first, damn! Lol. But seriously, that is the absolute worst way to find someone who might be interested in doing something like that, and she was right to run! For the absolutely stunning woman who blocked the guy who wanted her to look more like Kim K, she is a queen! The fact that he had the audacity to tell her friend that she is the crazy one is absolutely laughable. For one, she is absolutely gorgeous as she is! Secondly, those pictures of Kim are after she has had a lot of work done, makeup always done by a professional makeup artist, and she has not allow any pictures of her to be published anywhere on the internet without them being heavily photo shopped. He is absolutely the crazy one, and her only answer to him should be that he seriously needs therapy.
I was looking at that absolutely stunning woman and thinking who is this crazy man who thinks she needs to change her looks! Her body, her skin, her voice, HER HAIR! WOW
While usually I agree with you Charlotte, the first one is a big fat nope for me. Just no. Like is this an American/Canadian thing? If your plans fall through it's on YOU to warn the other person, not on the other person to confirm that you're not by any chance a big irresponsible baby incapable of informing them that something else came up. Besides, why didn't SHE confirm or text him during the week?
@@alexia2189 If communicating doesn't help, why is his kind of communication such a douche move? He did check in on her in the morning, he did tell her he was running a little late. That is communicating. She cancelled without telling him, that's a lack of communication.
I'm with you too... The second woman commenting on it is annoying... Why are we "assuming" things? Just ask! We wanted equality between women and men, so take responsibility as well and don't "assume" Ps: a woman in her 30s
First story; If she wasn't sure if they were still going out then SHE should text to confirm. To him there was no uncertainty. She was the flake, he was understandably annoyed that she flaked. The idea that he must not be that interested because he didn't text her all week is juvenile.
All she needed to do to confirm without coming across as clingy - which Charlotte says is her fear - she could've replied to his "Happy Friday" text with "Looking forward to our date tonight!" instead of simply heart it. That would've opened the door for him to say, "Me too!" or "Actually...." and cancel. I always confirm with friend when I'm not sure, and it usually looks a lot like that.
I am with the first guy. Yes, I can see her side and understand that one might be unsure if plans will actually happen, especially with a person you just met. But you know what, if you are unsure, ASK. Communicate. It’s not that difficult.
About confirming a date, I agree with the guy. If I am asked out on a date and we have an agreed upon day/time I would never think to confirm. I confirmed when I agreed to go out. If that girl was unsure if they still had plans because she hadn't heard from him, why didn't she confirm if they were still on? Also he messaged her Happy Friday the morning of the date and she acknowledged the text. If she had any questions about whether they were still on for their date that night, she could have taken that opportunity to confirm if she was unsure. Basically if she had any questions about if they were still meeting up that night she could have put her big girl panties on and sent him a quick text if that's what she needed. I would never think to not show up to a date if I made plans with that person just because I did not hear from them for a couple of days prior. Like he said were adults and if she had questions she could simply text instead of wasting his time. Sometimes shit happens. But I know that if I make plans with somebody I will be there. It's not this guy's fault. I would not
But then what about the people who view punctuality as important...because he stated that he didn't text to say he was running late until it was late enough he expected her to already be there to grab a table. So I think he was the one who actually needed the confirmation as he either forgot completely or has poor time management.
The girl who had her date show up with his girlfriend reminds me of something that happened to my ex years ago. She’d met a girl on Tinder who’d said she was lesbian. They organised to grab a drink after talking for a few days. This girl shows up with her boyfriend! She called them predators and left. Like WTF that’s so unsafe!
@@Blondie77128 it was definitely for the threesome angle. Disgusting AF for her though. She’s super confident though, and tore the two of them a new arsehole in front of everyone, reported them to Tinder. I hope they got banned.
I haven't dated in over 20 years (married happily, thank goodness) but the first man didn't do anything wrong, to my understanding. They already confirmed. He told her he was a few minutes behind schedule. She *hearted* his "Happy Friday!" Therefore he was obviously still planning to go on the date and to his knowledge, so was she! Instead of hearting his greeting, she should've shot back a quick text instead, "are we still on for 7:30?" So easy.
That's exactly how it goes when I (a single woman) have made plans in advance with my married friends. It's pretty simple really, and simply confirms that no family tragedies/illness or whatever have happened in the meantime. Also an opportunity for something like 'watch out for construction on such and such street, maybe go the other way' or whatever.
Yeah, he reached out. She had an in if she was unsure. They had communication, she saw the texts, and responded nonverbally in the positive. He didn't blow her off for weeks or something, it was two days. Two days where she also didn't reach out in any capacity. She didn't know him all that well, and he didn't know her all that well. Every excuse given to the woman in the situation can be given to the man in the situation. A grown adult should know if something is needed, appreciated, or expected, they should ask for it when that thing is lacking. Assuming it's gone belly up after TWO DAYS AFTER MAKING PLANS is not reasonable when she should know damn well that life can take you away from social interactions at a moment's notice.
I wouldn’t do or expect second confirm, and I’m a woman. I’m an adult. We scheduled a date, and I, too, do what I say. This was a red flag on her part, and he dodged a bullet. She essentially stood him up. No wonder so many people would rather not even date; this mess is getting ridiculous.
This might be an unpopular opinion but what happened to accountability? If im asked on a date for friday I put on my schedule Friday Date Night. If something comes up that prevents me from going then I reach out and say “hey, xyz happened can we reschedule.” If you require being asked multiple times if you are still free for a date I would be so happy to have dodged that bullet. Am I also going to have to reconfirm multiple times for everything we do? Sounds exhausting, id prefer to be with someone that can communicate properly and be responsible for their own time and activities.
He ghosted her for a whole week. She didn't say she expected him to ask her if she's still free multiple times lol, she just expected him to remain in contact. If someone ghosted me for a week I'd assume they didn't want to see me anymore too.
@@Ktakahashi18No one said anything about asking "3 times". But if someone ghosts you for a week it's fair to assume they're no longer interested. I'd definitely make different plans after being ghosted for a week.
@@swhitson9633But if he didn't message her, then why didn't she message him first to ask if they are still on or at least start a conversation with him during the week? If the sin is poor communication, then aren't they both guilty of being poor at it?
For the first story, I don’t think he was in the wrong aside from his reaction and calling her a b****. There were only 2/3 days in between setting the date and the actual date and I fully agree that you don’t need to be texting in between that time especially because he DID text her Friday (day of) and she didn’t respond. So if SHE needed the confirmation then she should’ve responded with a quick “we still on for tonight?” Also, since she assumed the date was cancelled but it wasn’t she would have stood him up had he not texted her that he was running late. So overall I don’t think he was in the wrong but I do think the reaction of “I do what I say” is a bit off and calling her a B**** was uncalled for
Completely agree that timeframe between initial confirmation and date dictate if a second confirmation is needed. If the date is a week or more out, confirmation day before or at least morning of would be expected. But I wouldn’t reconfirm something set only 2 or 3 days prior. I would apply this rule to any social appointments, first date, lunch with friend, whatever. I also think he exhibited red flags in this video that she should be glad she stood him up. I agree with his expectations, not his response.
imo she kinda was being a b-word. there was only 2 - 3 days between their date planning and the day of and, like he said, he was busy w/ work and other errands. he has a life, he doesnt have to drop everything to text her every day. unless they were officially together, which wasnt the case, he is in no obligation to text her every day unless both parties are super into each other. and what about her? why didnt she text him? so just because HE didnt text HER, she got pissy at him and just assumed the date was off??? sounds like a b**** that was just looking for an excuse to bail to me
Everyone communicates differently. The girl from the first story did NOT set a boundary, she made an assumption and made no attempt to seek clarification. If you want someone to communicate with you a certain way then COMMUNICATE THAT. Communicate your expectations. Communicate your boundaries. Communicate you don’t plan to show up. Don’t assume someone can read your mind, especially if you just met. Him hurting her was a misunderstanding, her hurting him by flaking then lashing out was intentional. I agree him referring to her as a b!tch on TikTok isn’t cool. He is a bit of an a-hole for that, but she was for everything that came before that (based on the limited info we have).
If you go back and listen to what he said IN CONTEXT he did not call her a bitch. At all. The women in the response twisted what he said. That isn't what he said at all. You know those inner thoughts you get when someone says something and you're like "bitch please" or " bitch who asked you"? Those kinda inner thoughts. That's exactly how he used that when he said that word. He was not calling her a bitch. He was not referring to her as a bitch. He was making a generalized reactionary response all of us make when we are astounded or confused by something. Context matters. And I for one ans beyond sick of seeing people put words into other people's mouths to justify their double standard bullshit.
I’m a woman and I can’t express enough HOW BITCHY HER RESPONSE WAS THO 😂 like, if it walks talks and quacks like a duck why are we pretending otherwise?!
He communicated with his actions that he wasn't very interested or invested. I wouldn't follow through with plans with someone like that. He basically told her she is hardly worth interacting with. At that point he shouldn't expect for her to confirm or do *anything*. Actions are a form of communication. It's incredibly important to back up your actions with words, but if you don't it's on you when someone reacts to the only communication they *did* receive. I don't understand who would have interest in a guy who behaved the way he did. There's just nothing really there, and it's so incredibly easy to have more than that. So why downgrade or settle? Emotionally stable, independent women have better things to do with their time. The woman did state a boundary, but as hindsight. I agree she wasn't up-front with any sort of boundary, but her boundary is *incredibly* reasonable and doesn't need to be communicated, because not communicating it will naturally weed out guys who naturally aren't super interested. I will quickly loose interest in anyone who puts me in a position where I feel like I am nagging. I shouldn't have to tell someone to be interested or show interest. The woman made the right move. You can see in his reaction that she dodged a bullet. Everything is confirmed within 24 hours. Haven't you ever made an appointment to anything ever? LOL.
Very much this... if you have a boundary/requirement, let that be known. Why do people, especially with how much we hear/know about the importance of communication, still expect others to read their minds and adhere to whatever arbitrary standards they've created for themselves.
For real? What boundaries did she set? He made the move to ask her out, made plans and everything, TEXTED HER on the same day which she hearted it for her then to blame HIM for not confirming? Confirm what?? The date was scheduled by both of them, that is it, end of story!! That's the date! If you need confirmation, then do that for yourself! For him the date was set and he was on that, where was her? I mean come on, don't be ridiculous.
Exactly! And if the roles had been reversed and a guy responded to a good morning text with just a heart emoji, everyone would be saying she should have just canceled the date because she deserved more than that as a response.
That first story, I'm female and have a guy cancel on me for the same reason. We met on Tinder, texted for a few days then he ask me out, so we set the date on a Saturday afternoon. Our conversation slowly fizzled out after confirming the date. We did not text the next 3 days and I thought nothing of it. It was a first date, no one is invested, so there's no obligation for daily small talk but he was pissed. He called Friday night to cancel the date. I was confused so I ask if everything's ok. He went on this rant about how I've ignored him for 3 days by not texting him. He did not text me either so... By this time I knew I was done so I said ok, alright then and hung up. He then texted me a wall of text treating this like a break up. Unhinged lol 😂
You were prepared to still go on a date after the convo fizzled out? Ohhhh I reckon you both missed a bullet here. He seems overly clingy and you don’t seem to have very high standards
I hard disagree with Charlotte when it comes to the first story. If you make plans you stick to those plans. If something happens and you need to change your plans that's fine but it falls on whoever is changing the plans to say something. His plans hadn't changed. He stuck with them. This is entirely on the girl who can't follow basic plans.
Yikes She has a different communication style he is butthurt n shitting on her communication style. If U don't just say have a great day. Then you're probably dead.
Read this and ready it good, you women are sick super mentally, I went on a date last night this woman was so broke, I'm buying food and ice cream for her, I haven't bought myself anything all night, how about this? she has a female roommate that doesn't pay her anything, no kind of rent, and yet she has no food in her house! Topping on the cake is we work the same job and I get paid good money why are you broke living on section 8, I just walked away after a while of listening to her bulshit,
That first guy was ABSOLUTELY in the right here. If she really needed that “confirmation”, she should’ve shot him a quick message herself, “hey we still on for Friday?” It really does sound like maybe she didn’t really want to go, and she was grasping at straws for any reason to get out of it. I think his morning-of text was perfect; he was letting her know he was thinking of her, because they’d see each other later that day. If she truly wasn’t sure the date was still on, she had the perfect opportunity to ask for extra-confirmation right there.
And he said he waited until the start time of the date had already arrived to send his first message saying grab a table I am still going to be 5-10 minutes late. I know someone who lack of punctuality is a deal-breaker and they would have left when the person either didn't care enough to tell them they were behind schedule until AFTER the start time of the date because having the first time you tell someone you are late be when you should already be there says either they don't care enough, or they have poor time management and this will be a regular occurrence
She absolutely wasn't interested, hence why she did not decide to look for confirmation herself. I also wouldn't have interest in keeping a date with someone who hardly interacted with me. Like, I'm only worth your time if I'm there in person? Someone like that isn't worth my time. I assume this woman felt similarly, but I suppose I really don't know.
Opinion on the first one: reconfirming the date if you haven’t been in communication should be a mutual thing. He should check with her, but she should have checked with him too. I wouldn’t assume a date was cancelled just because I hadn’t heard from him the rest of the week, especially if it was one of those matches you didn’t talk with much anyway. Like there are times where it’s like, skip the small talk, let’s get ice cream on Friday, and then you just kind of assume that both of you aren’t into trying to force small talk over text, you know? The only time I would assume it was cancelled is if he told me it was cancelled, or if after I texted to confirm I got no timely response.
@@joywebster2678his happy Friday text was an opening to dialogue, her non reply by using the heart is her mistake. It was an opportunity for her to continue the conversation and either mention the date, or give him the opportunity to if she was uncertain but didn’t want to be the one to mention it first.
Also, I’m fairly certain they made the plans Tuesday for Friday, I wasn’t like they made plans Saturday or Sunday for the following Friday. It was literally two days between making plans and the event. If I made plans with someone that I confirmed two days prior, I would definitely assume they were on UNLESS I heard otherwise.
@@joywebster2678 Pretty much. We agree she should’ve confirmed if she was unsure. I was adding that he’d started the dialogue where if she didn’t want to be the one to outright confirm, she could’ve kept the dialogue open to give him more opportunity to mention that nights date somehow so there was no need for anyone to confirm. She had the opportunity to save face if she wasn’t sure and didn’t want to seem so. But she shut it down with a simple emoji reply, not word to continue the chat. He clearly didn’t need to confirm from his end. She did. She could’ve easily managed to get it out of him with a convo. A simple “so what pizza you planning on trying tonight?” That’s not sounding uncertain, or trying to confirm, that’s assuming he said what he meant and if he then says “what you mean?” Then it’s him that looked bad, not her. Personally I don’t think he did anything wrong. She did when she gaslit him that it was all his fault that he was stood up when she realised it. So glad im not on the dating scene anymore! 😂
Why the heck didn't that first gal confirm the date herself, when he texted her on Friday? It's not the 1800s. Women don't have to wait around for a man to arrange everything. I've been in her position, and I'll just send them a: "Hey, are we still good for Friday? 😊".
@@AnnafromHungarylvNWI’m not really a man defender, but honestly this is ridiculous. He made the effort to ask her out, and was probably going to pay. All she had to do was as get herself ready and show up. She was rude for that. If she wanted a second confirmation, all she had to do was text and say “Hey are we still on for Friday at 7:30?” That’s literally all it would’ve taken. In his mind and my mind, making plans and not canceling them IS confirmation that you have plans. It honestly sounds like she would’ve complained about anything, regardless.
You ever see the Key and Peele sketch where they’re texting and one of them thinks they’re about to fight and the other thinks they’re going out for a beer? Same energy as the first video.
Two adults made a date and he was the only one responsible enough to actually show up. He shouldn't have to babysit her and ask if she still plans to keep the date they already agreed on or not.
Let me clear things up, I do agree with some of your points but some women or men want to be confirmed again to make sure your not gonna get stood up by the person asking you out
Unless something is said that it's NOT happening, I assume it's happening. Getting a "Happy Friday" is actually a nice reminder imo without putting extra pressure on her. ...idk. I guess I like being on my own too much that constant conversation IS creepy and clingy to me. I would rather talk in person than in text with someone I don't know too.
@@TyLeeslilsis "Happy Friday" isn't a confirmation. It's a Saluttion. If he had at least texted "Happy Friday" I would have responded with a bit more than just a heart emoji. Maybe a question: "Oh, are we still on tonight?" Or something similarr. He made the date, and I agree with Charlotte on this, he should have put in the effort to confirm. No confirmation = No interest and I've made other plans.
@@TheJustineCredible He said "Happy Friday." Their date was for Friday. THAT is a reminder. There was no word that they were cancelling until she decided to not show up at all. You've got a phone. You can ask too if you need a secondary confirmation. People don't know what you don't tell them. People don't generally say they're gonna be late hours before. They say it when they're on their way. She wasn't even there. I'm under the assumption she never intended to be there if her only response was one with an attitude.
100%. However, I would never care to confirm (or go) if the guy didn't communicate consistently throughout the time of meeting and the time of the date. I personally have no problem with being the one to confirm (no idea about the girl he spoke of in the vid), but why would I spend time with this guy who merely asked me out on a date and didn't have the time and/ or interest in communicating with me, when I could instead have "me" time or hang out with people who actually talk with me consistently? I'm not low on interest of others. And I don't need a relationship. What reason would an emotionally stable, independent woman have to meet with a guy who either didn't want to text her or doesn't have the time? There are better things we can be doing. It's so easy to have more than that, so why settle?
@Mika So the man has to confirm? Other than hearting his good morning the day of the date (that she agreed to attend). She has no obligation at all? Your preference is irrelevant to what happened. He asked (burden on man), she confirmed, he texted morning of (burden on man), she confirmed with a heart emoji. He did everything and she responded. If you want more communication, ask for it. Men are not mind readers.
@nwj03a If he was interested after not showing interest, yes. Someone who is interested should be confirming. I'm saying it makes sense that she wouldn't be interested, so that would be why she wasn't the one to confirm in this case. He didn't show interest, so there was no reason to believe the date would actually happen, or should happen.
@@mikamagnol8931 "emotionally stable, independent woman" You seem obsessed by this. It has nothing to do with the story, yet you seem to want to tell the world something about yourself.. isn't it. One of the better things is to show basic respect to the fellow human being if you decide not to show up for a date set 2 days earlier... TWO DAYS. How much "interest" is a person required to show within that timeframe exactly? Is that supposed to be some form of foreplay or something? They are strangers, they'll get to meet in two days and talk all they want. Again, TWO DAYS. And why is the burden of communication laid upon his shoulders? Is the independent woman not capable of texting herself? Like for example to say she wasn't going to be there on the date? You're not the center of the universe. Nobody is.
@@mikamagnol8931 Girl, it was _two days_ that they went without speaking, and I didn't see her reach out during that time, either. So why is only he to blame for "lack of interest" (which is stupid because I'm sure both of them were a-okay with two days of not speaking to someone they hadn't even met yet) and not her?
First story... He gave her space and was respectful. The date was made and confirmed when the time was set. Then on the day of, which was only a couple of days later, he DID reach out to her and SHE wouldn't respond with actual words. The woman is the one who made the assumptions about Him. He respected her space and was secure enough to trust when they confirmed that they wouldn't need to reconfirm and in turn was hit with a woman making all kinds of assumptions about how he felt instead of being an adult and communicating with him. No he shouldn't have called her a b word that wasn't okay but I personally don't see him as an asshole. I feel like the woman ruined the date herself because of her own insecurities and assumptions she made about him. they said "they don't know eachother" - no they don't so she had no right to assume he didn't want to go. She could have even talked to him about it and got over the misunderstanding but she refused.
That 1st guy is absolutely right. Dating over 40 is different than what you “kids” do. If SHE was worried then SHE should have reached out with “hey, we still on?”. They made plans, it’s been confirmed…that’s that. We aren’t children.
@@nicanonymous9023 why is that so strange? He never said her age, he has expectations that a lot of people here are agreeing with coming from an older generation. The younger generation are agreeing with her method. It just makes me wonder if he's dating someone his age or someone much younger than him. That doesn't mean she's not an adult but it could mean that she's between 18 to 25 or something which would explain the miscommunication
Even at 30, I would not show up unless it's been double confirmed especially not if they have been ghosting me all week. Especially if it's somebody she was on the fence about on the first place, I can see her not wanting to be awkward and reach out to him
I once was asked out by this girl, it was a very sweet moment. We were out with a bunch of friends in front of everyone she had said all these nice things like, "you are such a nice guy, I love spending time with you, you are the guy of my dreams will you go out with me." I agreed and we went on a few dates, we went to the zoo, out to dinner, went to coffee, and I even met her family and she had met mine. I thought everything was going great. Well I was wrong. I texted her one day and asked her what she'd like to do on our next date and her response was, "um next date? I didn't know we were dating" at this point I'm very confused because again she was the one who asked me out. And it is not like it could have been a misunderstanding because when someone says "you're the man of my dreams, will you go out with me?" There's no room for confusion. I kindly brought up her asking me out and the dates we had gone on and she was like, "I never said that and I was just going to those places to be nice. I'm not looking for a relationship right now. We can be friends though." I was completely shocked. I would have been fine if she had just said I'm not ready for a relationship or that she just wasn't interested anymore, but that's not what she said. She had to pretend we never dated which I find very rude and very tacky. I responded with "I'm sorry but I just can't" and then proceeded to delete her number and never saw her again. I don't know if I would have responded the same way now but at the time I was a young teenager who hated confrontation, so maybe there was a world that I could have handled it better, but I'm also glad I didn't stick around. I don't need that kind of delusion in my life. Years have passed since that breakup and now I'm happily married with a baby on the way, so to all the lovely people who are going through bad breakups right now, don't worry you will find the right person at the right time. Much love to you all
If it makes you feel better, the story did feel like a teenager story. You eventually mentioning it just confirmed it. It's quite possible she meant what she said, but then her mind/feelings changed or someone else popped up in the scene... and perhaps she did not do well with confrontation either... A lot happens during the teenageryears :) Best of luck to your little family!
It just sounded like she was young and immature. Maybe she had some mental stuff going on or something you just weren't aware of. Either way, everything happens for a reason and your life now is a testament to that.
Sounds like she listed for you and when that faded, she was no longer interested and that was her immature way of handling it. It just wasn't meant to be! You did a great job at taking the high road! Nothing more needed to be said.
Disagree on the first one about reconfirming... If anything comes up to change those plans, absolutely... If you make plans once, they're plans... Period
Right! It's not like they scheduled it a month before, where I could see confirming to make sure the other person didn't forget, but it was days earlier! And he had a time and place set that she agreed to. She stood him up.
Yes but shouldn’t you touch base at least before you leave ? 🤷🏻♀️ I’m the type of person I have to plan everything. So I would be sending a message to confirm before I leave anywhere. ** which she could’ve done the morning of to confirm too
First story: An appointment is an appointment. You don’t need to be reminded of it constantly like a toddler with amnesia. When someone asks you out and you say yes, it’s confirmed. I do understand if you don’t hear anything at all for a few days, you might wonder if the person is still willing to meet up. But instead of assuming it’s cancelled, just reach out and ask if you guys are still on. Modern mentality is not an excuse we should allow. I’m not from an older generation myself. I still think, your word is your word. If I say YES to a guy and neither of us has mentioned the word “cancel”, then it’s not cancelled. If I need an extra confirmation, I’ll ask for it.
..YES!... sorry charlotte but if its confirmed its confirmed... its an adult... if shes want reconfirmation like this... just go and never look back... she wont be worth it... behaving like a toddler..NO...just NO... not with my time...
When someone makes a date a week before and you hear nothing, then the day of they just say, "happy Friday", I don't care if you had agreed or not, it makes it sound like the guy had amnesia and forgot he made the date. He should have said "Happy Friday, looking forward to seeing you tonight."
@@eugeniaskelley5194 😪 he specifically said “I didn’t text her Wednesday, I didn’t text her Thursday” which implies they made planes on TUESDAY. It’s not like he vanished for a week!!! It was TWO days!! Plus if he intended to cancel would he be texting her again, TWO days later “happy Friday”? I don’t necessarily agree with the way he expressed himself but he’s not wrong. And yes he could have added that nice touch. But it’s ok if he didn’t.
@@eugeniaskelley5194 ...sounds to me u have a need for confirmation..., if so u should say so from the start, if u made a date, set an appointment forward in time, it doesent matter if its a week or a month... ..and u definetly do not ever write something simillar to .... just checking to connfirm our date ... it screams desperation...
Or confirm herself. Instead of heart his message she could've said, "Looking forward to our date tonight!" and that would've been enough without coming across as clingy or needy - which is what Charlotte seemed to give as an excuse. If you're not sure, it's on you to make sure, not the other party to be a mind reader and confirm for you.
I completely agree with Charlotte, my Dad was the one to tell me when I was 16 years old and started to date, “number 1 always carry more money than what you’ve think you would need and number 2, always PAY for your own things in your first 3 dates, so men don feel like you own them something in return” SOOOO… that was what I always did since 16, until i met my fiancé 4 years ago… and problem solved, now I’m 29 years old getting married on 2024 ❤
Same here. I have two (now adult) daughters and when they were young I always made sure they have money with them when they went on dates. Not only for food and entertainment, but for a cab/Uber if things don’t go well.
That guy that called that lady a b***h. Just looking at his body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and attitude. He rubbed me the wrong way immediately. Gave me bad vibes all day long. Eww!🤢
The guy that made the video about dating over 40, that made a date with the lady for the pizza place and asked her to get an outside table DID IN FACT confirm with the date, how am I the ONLY person that heard him say that they had already confirmed once and shouldn't have to confirm the date twice. Him calling her the B word wasn't nice BUT HE DID COMFIRM THE DATE WITH THE LADY ONCE but just NOT twice.
Agree! Sorry, but as a women that lady stood him up, which was a b*tch move. When strangers treat me rudely, I curse them out. If he did that to me, I’d be calling him an a-hole.
I agree! He and she confirmed when they made concrete plans to go on the date! If she needed a second confirmation, she should’ve text him Friday and said “Hey are we still on for tonight?”
He didn't confirmed... he says that when she said yes that's a confirmation... thats not a confirmation a confirmation comes after that yes... to confirm... even he said for him that one yes was the confirmation... and looks she texted him because he let know he didn't text her because his sarcastic jokes... so she was texting him!!! And he ghosted her. And then called her a b in his childish tantrum.
Charlotte, you were so wrong in the first one. They made a date Tuesday and texted her Friday morning and she sent a heart. When he texted again the same night she made up an excuse to renig. No one sent a message saying they couldn't make it so why would she assume the date was canceled? This was all on her. She should've put on her big girl panties and told him she didn't want to go.
Before I was married back in college. I did not allow anyone to pay for me. I heard too many scary stories that if the guy pays then he expects sex. That was drilled into me by my friends. So I never let a date pay not even for a movie. I also never let a date see my apartment either. I look at it like you didn't pick me up, you didn't pay for anything. I don't have to do anything with you after the date is over. I always ask the server for separate checks before ordering anything.
1. His point of view "You just wanted a free meal". 2. Her point of view "You think you just paid for sex by buying dinner. You want to see where I live. You think I'm only worth $X and that I'm a prostitute". I totally agree with you, and that's how I organized my dating life. One guy even got miffed because he'd just bought (insisted on buying) this expensive dinner. Exactly like Charlotte said I stood there and told him -"Mate, if you thought you could buy my 'services' with one dinner, then you've mistaken me for a prostitute. Secondly, if I WERE a prostitute, I'd be charging way more for my time".
I can’t stand the “I need constant confirmation” people. If we makes plans, and don’t talk until said plans take place, assume it’s still ON bc we didn’t cancel. Like WTF… can’t we all just hold ourselves accountable, not overcommit and say yes to something with no intentions on showing up??? I can really tell who was raised on landlines and who wasn’t lol😂
I don’t think it only applies to dating over 40. I’m 24 and I find it weird that the woman in the first clip assumed he didn’t want to go on the date anymore. Yeah he could have texted during the week, but she could have texted as well. Who knows what really went down. Also, he did proceed to call her a b*tch. I have a feeling they both weren’t that into each other so they saved themselves any more time being wasted.
I think if you are not going to show up, that merits a text, even more that showing up to that date. Imagine sitting there going “I wonder if she got lost?”
I have a male friend who used to think buying a woman dinner is paying for sex. Thankfully, he found a woman who kicked him in the proverbial nuts over it. They've been together for around 10 years. Lol
The first story makes me sad. There are a lot of people who haven’t been scorned by the dating apps and social media frenzy… meaning there are still people who approach dating exactly the way he did. When I was 32, a man I knew from church invited me to a concert 2 1/2 weeks later (we didn’t have each others numbers, we’d never dated before) and I said yes. We started a full on relationship from that and got married 5 months later. I’m not saying everyone has great dating experiences, but it’s not abnormal for people to make plans, follow through, and live happily ever after without all the dating rule drama. It’s more common than RUclips would like to have you believe.
@@personincognito3989 I completely agree. We’ve lost patience. It’s like this out of sight out of mind mentality where, in case something better comes along, our plans are tentative. I don’t approach life that way and my exposure to that has been minimal. Then again, we need to stop pretending we have millions of options just waiting for us. There is a reasonable community of people to choose from and we need to pick a good one and stop waiting for more to show up.
@@personincognito3989 it isn't insecurity to want that, in this day and age. When I was on the dating scene, I got stood up quite a few times, just because I went by the original plans and didn't think I needed it to be confirmed. After awhile, you get sick of wasting your time and feeling stupid. However, she could have reached out that morning to confirm.
You didn’t have his number is the key difference. This is the era of communication. It’s expected. Plans made with anyone get confirmed, especially if there has been no communication since the plan was made. Sister, friend, date whoever gets a “still on for tonight” text and a time confirmation. Things happen and plans change. I’m also extremely forgetful and have gone to the wrong place before 😂
Yeah, I think ppl forget a lot of older individuals are used to a completely different world when it comes to dating. A lot of this constant communication stuff is still relatively newish societally
The reply video to that first story and Charlotte's reaction really surprised me. I think he was justifiably annoyed by the situation. Why didn't the woman text him? She just hearted his "happy Friday" text, instead of replying. That was a clear opener that she didn't bother to take. He's better off without her.
it is pure entitlement. I don't mean based on gender, but in general. People nowadays feel entitled to arrange meetings (between friends, business, appointments with doctors) and go if they feel like it. While in the past due to the lack of phones and quick ways to cancel, people stuck with their word. If you did not turn up, you were classified as an untrustworthy person unless you had a really really good excuse. Nowadays you not only don't even need an excuse for not showing up, you can blame the other person for not having confirmed. WTF try that shit with a court appointment or a deadline for a loan. That will never fly. But for some reason we started to accept it in our personal lives.
Exactly! She never cancelled, he never cancelled. She pulled a no show. Maybe she forgot and just gaslighted him into thinking it was his fault. I think he dodged a toxic person.
I thought it was just a difference in expectations and an unwillingness to communicate. Instead of only responding with "I do what I say", especially if he was interested in seeing her, he could've just noted that she wanted confirmation and explained that he doesn't text a lot.She could have also texted him during the week, and then cancelled if he didn't text enough for her. Neither were willing to admit they were wrong or give it another shot. It's also possible she dealt with a lot of late dates in the past and had decided not to deal with it anymore. The silver living is that they are both adults and can decide to see people that they vibe with more
I am a gay man but child I can tell when a women would drive straight men wild and that last woman was a literal queen. Who the hell lucky enough to go on a date with her looking like that would ever say I want you to look like this instead. WHAT!?
I completely disagree with all the comebacks from the women, on the first one. They made a date; picked out a place and time; and he texted her the day of the date. You’re expecting way too much from him, without expecting her to do the same. She didn’t communicate well, and you’re all assuming she wasn’t the one that was flaking on purpose. Why? Very strange and hypocritical, imo.
Aww, dating is soooo hard on men... They literally risk their lives meeting strangers from the internet, and now they are also expected to confirm the date... Oh, wait, nevermind.
@@AnnafromHungarylvNWif dating is that scary, don’t date. I used to meet guys in a public place for like 1 hour max. If I liked them, we would arrange a second date. If there was no chemistry, byeeee!!
@@alamedadanceparty I'm happy in my long term relationship, thank you, and honestly, if I found myself single, I probably wouldn't date again. Still, I 100% believe my relationship works because I found someone who actually cares about my experience as a woman and is willing to accomodate. He understands the inherent difficulties that come with being a woman in this day, and prioritizes me enough to make an effort to even our relationship. I worry about women who don't recognize that part of what stands in the way of equality are inherent disadvantages that women face, and actual equality requires a level of compensation (=effort) from men. My opinion is that it's easier to find a good partner if you have high standards from the beginning.
@@AnnafromHungarylvNW I never said I didn’t have high standards. But if I liked someone and they asked me out, I would go on a date with them. If they guy asked me out and set the date and time, I would show up. If I was unsure, I would ask, “Are we still on for tonight?” It doesn’t seem like that big of a deal….? I’m married now, but speaking about when I was dating a few years ago. My general position is, less texting, more talking.
I think you missed it on the first one Charlotte. He doesnt know her either. He texted the morning of the date. If she wanted confirmation she should have asked for it instead of just expecting it. He treated her like an adult. She responded with an unspoken expectation which killed the whole possibility of a date.
@@swhitson9633did he ghost her? I don’t remember him saying she texted him at all in the week. It’s his job to initiate a conversation and not also hers?
@@swhitson9633 That's not what ghosting means, if she had send texts during the week and he did not respond, that would be ghosting. She didn't say anything to him either.
My worst first date was with a guy who took me to a sushi place and only ate rice. He lifted his buttcheek and farted on the waitress as she walked by thinking I’d laugh. Then he got super drunk and started crying and saying I was too good for him.
For the first story, this applies to more than dating. When I've planned a park meet up with my friend and her kids, we always confirm the night before. Life gets in the way and you forget
On the first story, this is definitely a misunderstanding based on a huge change in dating protocols over the generations. I'm in my 50s (been married for more than 25yr, so haven't been in this new dating scene at all). Back in my youth, if you made a date for Friday it was assumed that agreeing to the date was your "confirmation" and not only did you not call during the week to re-confirm if you did (especially the guy) it was seen as a needy, clingy or at worst "controlling" move and would be perceived as a huge red flag.
Me too. Re the confirmation part.
Heck, I still sometimes leave my phone in the house, when I go out. I regret it but not enough to go back.
its a diferrent protocol because people were more serious about their word then, it isnt the case now sadly.
@@ammnoydb4015 Yeah, back when I was dating I had to leave my phone at home ... because that's where it was plugged into the wall :p
Yes i agree, also: 25 years ago if someone asked you out he/she had to come to you and ask in person for a date, in this way you could value the effective interest of that person; now it's all done by an app and you've never seen each other before, that's why this new etiquette exist/is needed (there are a lot of trolls and catfish)
@@montsetreserra3499 Yes, I think that's part of it, but also people today have way more communications technology at their disposal than we did back then. I had a land line and an answering machine, there was no way to get ahold of each other easily most of the time so we didn't expect to.
When I was online dating, I matched with a guy and after chatting a bit he asked if I wanted to go out for dinner/drinks. I agreed. He asked for my address so he could pick me up. I very politely declined the pickup and said I would meet him there (I’m female - driving myself gives me a sense of security in many ways). He didn’t respond. After a few hours I texted and said “We meeting?” He responded “You wouldn’t let me pick you up so I assumed then that you would stand me up. So I am preempting that and cancelling the date.” That was wild to me. I’m sorry if you’ve been stood up by other women, but my wanting to drive myself and not give a stranger my address for safety reasons isn’t something I’m going to compromise for your bruised ego.
You were absolutley right in not giving your address to a stranger, and his risponse is a big red flag for me, the world is not a kind place and being a woman is more dangerous for us in many ways, so you were right in following your instinct
You made the right choice. Anyone that doesn't understand why you won't give out an address is a major red flag and likely dangerous.
Yeah thats crazy, Sounds like you dodged a bullet, honestly. Who gets mad that he can't get a strange woman alone in his car?
If he just wanted to get a strange woman in his car, there are plenty of them on certain streets in my city. And dating them costs a lot less than dinner.
Maybe not even about an ego...
Maybe he really did have bad intentions and since he couldn't get you in his car, then there was no reason for a "date" any longer!
I completely agree with Charlotte. If you're not feeling the date, pay and leave. It will avoid any animosity or expectations.
yeah but like he says he is going to pay then like right after not skiping a beat saying your going to leave. its kinda impolite. you gotta like wait a few moments. thank him maybe chat for a moment then leave not just "ok your paying thank you byeeee" nah not cool. i get it you are not interested and dont want to lead him on but that quick from A to B is a tad impolite. time stamp 8:10 if thats not the one you are talking about. ops my bad....
Yeah : pay your bill and just answer "no, thank you, goodbye". And guys... plz... if you have fun on the diner, no matter the end... chill... it was a good experience, keep it like it
How about accountability? You wanted the date you pay. Who ever invites pays. Its just the respectful thing to do. However, he or she who accepts the invite should only accept if they are genuinly interested, if it doesnt go well afterwards its OKAY, its not the end of the world if you invite within your means. But if youre inviting someone who doesnt show excitement or interest in getting to know you and the date doesnt go well afterwards its on you. Men need to grow a pair and be responsable about the desicions that they take, honestly. And then they want to generalize and blame all womena and make the rest of us pay for their insecuritys with past women whom THEY chose to date? A lot of bitching and whining. No wonder.
Oh he's still gonna be a 🍆 because he was rejected!!!
@@snowfroten5406 I mean she literally asked him and thanked him when he said he'll pay, that's the polite thing to do. Wanting to be a people pleaser by engaging in superficial conversation after would probs just hammer home his entitlement towards her and doesn't exactly have something to do with politeness.
the boomerita guy. i would definitely give him another date, thats adorable. like golden retriever energy.
Plus, he didn't claim to be a connaisseur. He just said that he typically drank/liked cocktails.
Yeah, clearly he's not an alcoholic.
Depends on the rest of the vibes he gives, but would recommend a cocktail bar, I guess?
Right! I didn’t understood the attitude about his drink choices
Preferring cocktails over beer would be such a green flag to me. I hate beer lol.
My now husband’s credit card declined on the first date. He was so embarrassed. He had his bank card and paid with that. (After I offered to cover it!) I thought “I have my own money. It’s ok if he’s a bit strapped”. So we continued to date. I later found out he literally hates debt. Everything he owns is paid outright and refused to have his credit card limit raise above $200. Twelve years later and I’m so in love with him. He balances my spending habits! Don’t be too quick to judge.
I’ve been married over 30 yrs, I told him when we got married if he wants to make sure we have money, he needs to be in charge of the money. I was a stay at home mom & he will be able to retire in 2025. We have no debts. We pay cash for our vehicles, house was paid off 10 years ago, & we will be very comfortable when he retires. Our 1st date was a blind double date. We both lived at our parents until the day we said I Do! We are very “Old School” I know, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. We are in our 50’s & we are happy❣️
@@pamelaspain1602that’s adorable 🥰 so happy for y’all 💗
The second story was really gross. She lifted to split and pay her way, but he's like, "I got it".
But when she doesn't let him walk her to room.. he flips the script. What a loser.
Scary, and definitely a red flag. He should understand that it’s a scary world out there for women, even if he’s not a “scary guy”. No true gentleman would take offense.
@@kiwik2951 I would argue no modern woman would accept a stranger paying for something if they werent into them. Hell most guys actually love it when a woman offers to pay for her share, big green flag right there.
Charlotte has the right of it here, if you aren't into someone you don't accept gifts from them and if you do you then you know exactly why you are (basically taking advantage of their attraction to you.) Pretending to be naive about it is not an excuse in this modern day and age and dudes are becoming hyper aware of this fact.
Ladies you have money, put in the effort, take the initative and stop thinking "oh my time is much more valuable than his is.... I should be paid for gracing him with my presence" coz it doesn't wash now. You wont but another woman will and she is the prize guys are looking for.
@@DaciValtto save men like you all that hassle why not just ask her if she will sleep with you for a plate of food and see what she says or be up front and say let's split the bill, don't even offer to pay. Men say and do whatever it takes to increase their chances of getting sex hence why most women aren't trusting for the first couple of dates. I don't get why you call it a gift cos the last I checked gifts don't come with so many strings attached. Men want sex after spending a little bit of money but even a working prostitute charges more for sex than a plate of food. Men don't want to visit a prostitute and have that transactional sex they expect cos they don't like the idea of every man being in her and they like the feeling of conquest over getting women that aren't prostitutes to sleep with them. But what kinda world would we live in if you teach your daughters to sleep with every guy that offers her a plate of food. The way I see it if the man is asking her out on the date then let him pay, women spend more of their lives rejecting random strange men than accepting them.if they even said yes to a date it shows interest, otherwise women will be out accepting every offer that comes their way only for a measly plate of food and women AREN'T DOING THAT😂 If women were that hungry, we could log onto any dating app and within the hour have more than 100 messages come flooding in and start sending out request for free food like a beggar. You think you are competing with other men but in reality, the modern world has kinda given women almost every single tool for her to live happily without a man so you are in actually competing with her peace as a single woman cos so many of these men act so ...... 🙄
A man paying for a date is not unconditional. If he feels he's being used by someone not interested, then he's right to not pay for both.
He 'flips the script' because he's not there just to talk. If the girl doesn't want to put out, then he has no reason to get into her good books and has no incentive to pay if there's nothing in it for him. Girls should just not accept a date from someone they aren't feeling
I usually agree with Charlotte but this first story was a bit annoying. If she wasn’t sure if the date was cancelled or not, why didn’t SHE reach out with a quick text like, ‘Hey, we still on for Friday?’ How old is this woman? I got the vibe that she wasn’t really interested in the first place and was looking for a reason to bail. He dodged a bullet imo. 8th grade level communication skills.
She dodged a major bullet herself. Dude is a major red flag.
You dont text date isnt on simple as that. No one is entitled to anyones time if they dont put the effort in, specialy a stranger´s
. Men lead in courtship, women follow if they are interested. He didint lead she couldnt follow even if she wanted to. Its called self respect.
@@montsetreserra3499oh but I thought women were independent and this wasn't the olden days anymore? A relationship works BOTH ways
I agree. But then I have anxiety, so I would be scared about missing something. But I would message if its still on and if that scares them off, then I guess I don't need him.
Same, but it's not an age thing my partner and I (age 25) both agree that if she needs a confirmation she should have texted him it seems ridiculous saying that he made the date so he needs to confirm, your the one that needed it he can't read your mind and know you need this because your a stranger. He made the first move maybe she should reciprocate.
When I was 20 I went on a date with a 30 year old guy who wore ridiculously long white socks with black shoes (and tan cargo shorts) with a tucked-in striped polo shirt, he topped it all off with a phone clip clipped to his belt.
He definitely gave off 45 year old Barbecue Dad vibes. I was a little taken aback at first 😂
We ended up having a great time and have been married now for 10 years with 4 kids 🥰😆
Unexpectedly wholesome! 🥰 Good for you, babes!
Love your story! May you have many many happy years together ❤
I don't think the words "Kardashian" and "natural" can even belong in the same sentence.
😂😂😂
It's natural to assume anything related to a Kardashian is fake. 👍
@@AshendrisSilvermist accepts the challenge and then proceeds to nail it! Well played!
Definitely oxymorons
And girl was gorgeous too like literally has the figure a lot of us would kill for
Bad dates are hilariously great - when they happen to other people. 🥴🙈
☺️☺️☺️
Yaaaassssss
Absolutely right 😂😂😂❤
@@maryamzrk9456:50
That’s why I’m here 😂
The guy in the restaurant, if he got that upset in public, imagine what could have happened if she had let him walk her to her room then said he wasn’t coming in!…..Yikes!
Yeah, his reaction to not getting what he expected was very telling.
@Blondie77128 100%
He wanted to pay all the way up until he realized he wasn't going to get his dick wet. Then he accuses her of using him for a free meal, when he was fully expecting to use her as a discounted prostitute.
Typical "nice guy" behavior 🙄
he's deranged: she clearly offered to pay her meal - 15 secs later he says she wanted a free meal; his brain doesn't work
He was givin "predator vibes"!
Exactly
"It's a bad date because he likes a $7 cocktail " tells me more about her than it does about him
The most memorable talk I ever had with my Dad was as I was getting ready to leave on my first real dinner date. My dad gave me $40 and said "Make sure you pay for yourself." and when I asked why, he said "Guys pay for dinner to make chicks feel like they owe them something. You don't ever owe a guy anything." I will never ever forget that lesson, and when my son starts dating, I will teach him the same thing.
I still let the guy pay. He tried something. I confidently denied him and went home with my $40 in my pocket 😂
Good job - it's still the case that most men are earning more than women in similar positions *and* women generally pay more money for the clothes, make-up, hair, whatever they are doing for a date. It's not fair if women need to expect to give a bigger percentage of their income to "finding a partner".
I have always been very... don't want no guy thinking I'm woth them for money. Amd, unfortunately I've been woth a couple broke ass dudes but, I was always in it for love. No matter what other the situation. However, when I met my husband after we met, the first time he came to hang out, my electric got turned off that morning 🤦♀️ do I tried to call him and reschedule. He didn't wanna reschedule. Even after I told him why. He took the day off work. He also offered to pay my electric bill and I declined.
We were together 5 years, married for 8.5 months before he passed, but he told me it made him feel like a man to support us. It took me little by little to accept. Lol but eventually I got there. Now I have to remember what it was like to be poor lol
@@keladry12
No, it is not the case in a like-for-like job.
Yes but their choice; men spend their money on other things.
Yes it would be fair if that were the case, which it isn't, because strong independent women such as yourself are always sneeringly claiming 'We Don't Dress or Put On Makeup for No Man, We Do It for Ourselves'.
On the flip side, if the date goes well, you can let him pay and make the agreement next date you pay. Cute way of letting each other know the vibe.
Like the way your dad respectfully said "Chicks". Your final paragraph is a scream. Your story is completely made up.
As a female, I would have had no idea it needed to be confirmed, plus him saying happy Friday and her giving some response at least confirms there's been no ghosting
he didn't text, "looking forward to our pizza this evening."
@@trains889 exactly!! guys always said that "we can't read your mind, so speak up", so please go by that logic, "set a date/appointment, then confirm the date" simple as that, Women can not read, man's mind too
@@wellknown1204 Both of them agreed days earlier to have a date on Friday - appointment set and confirmed right there. It was on both of them to mark their calendars on that date. He definitely did, her? Maybe, maybe not. But assuming she did, why would she think it's not set when they already agreed to go days earlier? Assuming she didn't mark it on her calendar, why the hell not? That's clear failure of communication on her part.
@@wellknown1204 What? They agreed to the date and nothing changed for him? So it should be clear that they will meet on Friday? You don't need to read minds, just your chat in this case.
@@wellknown1204 He did speak up Date, time and place. That was it job done, text her friday morning to, at that point why does he need to confirm more? He already knew when and where they were meeting, he communicated his situation and intentions very clearly from the start, she was the one that didn't. There was literally nothing to mind read on her side, he'd communicated perfectly.
Both people waiting for the other to initiate an interaction is likely the reason why 70% of plans fall through. 😂
Exactly 💯
💯💯💯 this! He did text her that morning, she could have said something then & chose not to.
@@kimberlytl6127he also could have shown up on time for the date......how does he know she wasn't there on time and when she got the text saying grab a table (meaning the time for the date had already arrived) that he was still going to be 5-10 minutes late, she might have left....some people punctuality (or lack thereof) is a deal-breaker
@@SoManyRandomRamblings life is gonna life & sometimes it causes people to run late. If that was her deal breaker, then she should have said that when he called instead of what she did.
Exactly! No second confirmation should have been needed! They made a plan and she should have stuck to said plan!
I feel like the confirmation could be as easy as “can’t wait to see you tonight! Or something like that. That lets them know you’re still planning on the date without being super clingy and needy.
I think the happy Friday text was enough. What else would make just another Friday a happy one?
@@angelamurphy6233 I mean, it should be. I would show up unless I was told otherwise. But I’m old.
@@Kmb33831 youre not old, you're a normal thinking person
It’s so stupid they both agreed to go on the date that’s your confirmation. Why do you need to text her on the days leading up to it. You both dont know each other it comes off as her being clingy that she needs to hear from him. Just wait until the date you both agreed on. Plus if she was concerned send him a text like woman are lazy it pisses me off.
@@ryans413 as a woman, I agree with everything you said. If I make plans with someone I’m planning on that. It’s immature to need constant confirmations of plans that were agreed upon over text.
But like you pointed out-if she wasn’t sure she could’ve texted him and said “can’t wait for dinner tonight” and then when he put a thumbs up on it that’s the confirmation. Or whatever. But for plans made on like Tuesday you shouldn’t need to confirm on Friday. Plans made a week or more out I could see double checking-but like-don’t be made if THEY don’t double check. Again. If you feel insecure-send a text. It’s not that hard.
But she did him a favor anyways. She sounds awful. 😝
If the girl in the first one wanted another confirmation, she should have asked! "hey, are we still meeting tonight at the pizza place?" ...is that so hard? He didn't ghost her, he texted "happy friday" on that morning! NTA
Just _assuming_ that your date won't show up just because they didn't confirm _a second time_ and therefore not showing up yourself is the real a-hole move!
Agree!! She totally stood him up. That was a b*tch move.
I agree. The woman was in the wrong here.
I agree. The problem is there isn't a general consensus AND people these days act like their social rules are the norm and anything else is crazy.
@@nikkita1688 general consensus is rare on anything nowadays because humans are complex and there are many variables that can affect things.
This
That second guy was the worst!! Just because he paid for her meal does not automatically mean he gets “more”. He was a creep and had an attitude because she denied him access to her room. Who does he think he is!?
It's like these guys pay just for the sake of seeing how a woman will react to their advances, and if she doesn't react the way they want, use that as an excuse to act bitter and make assumptions about her just because she doesn't want to sleep with him on the first date.
@@Ang36914 Right!! You hit the nail on the head!
It's disgusting. The cost of dinner can couldn't get a professional a call girl, much less full on -ex!!! Maybe from a strung out crackhead in a dark alley, but that's it. I wouldn't let any stranger walk me to my room...
The guy in the first story did text her on Friday. The girl that responded said he NEVER contacted her. That was FALSE. I don't think he was wrong. No one should assume he isn't going to show up.
Didn't he text her before the date telling her he'll be late? Like it wasn't a morning confirmation but a sorry I'll be late (which is not okay in my book you should manage your time properly for any appointment unless shit happens, always leave early).
@@viviennart He texted her "Happy Friday". I agree it wasn't much, but he wouldn't have contacted her at all, if he was going to stand her up.
Yeah, if she was unsure she could have just asked.
Whoever plans the date has to confirm. That's the normal thing to do. If I set a date, which I'm normally the one who always does, I always make sure I confirm at least the day before. It's common knowledge. The person who sets the date always confirms.
I agreed with him, until he called her a B.
I've been in the restaurant/bar industry for a while & I promise you for the most part once you know who your server is, if you ask them to split the bill (this can easily be done if you get there early or at any time excuse yourself to the bathroom (after you order is always a good time) & ask the host to speak to your server quickly if you don't see them) and ask them to ensure you get your half of the bill no matter what the other one says, unless you confirm they are paying the full (per YOUR comfort on allowing them to do so). The systems are set up so it's easy to combine a check or split it but advance notice helps. Most servers you come across will be happy to do this especially for a first date situation.
What kind of an A hole wants to split a check on a date they were asked on????!! The person asking the other person out, pays! That's common courtesy. I guess common sense and manners have flown out the window. Ladies need to start expecting more from men, and respecting themselves enough to know they are worth a dinner! Stop lowering the standards for women that want to be treated like ladies! If you wanna be the man in the relationship, go ahead and pay, but don't complain later when they treat you like a dude, and take advantage!
Before I got married I went on a date with a really nice guy I met on an app. I didn’t expect much, but I was shocked that he was on time and very sweet. We had dinner and the vibes were fantastic….until he looked me dead in the eyes and says “my wife is going to love you!” The physical gymnastics I managed in those heels as I fled could land me an Olympic medal. Thankfully I met my husband a few months later and we’ve been married for 10 years. 😊
Lol😭🤣😂 I am so sorry.
I would’ve probably did a spit take or choked on my food 😂
Omg plz share exactly how you left. I need this.
NOMG the mental image I just got from this? Please tell me you were in stilettos.
Imagine thinking polyamorous people don't exist. 🙄
Were you dating Kody Brown? lol
Sorry Charlotte, I disagree with the over 40 guy dating. I am over 40, so dating has been a while for me, 20 years ago when you set a date, it was a date. He sent her a happy Friday message, enough to let her know he was excited about the date. The rules have obviously changed and am sad the guy got so much backlash, however, have some respect and don't call a girl a b* on social media, that is not ok.
Nowadays, that's an expression, not a swear word.
ikr the "bitch" took me out like...thats not a sign of the "maturity" he talks abt
If she was a young woman that logic is not valid. I am in my 20s and if the guy that set up the date does not communicate with me the entire week I'll see it as rude and a proof of disinterest, and whats more as totaly obvious that the date is canceled. We live in an age of fast communication when you can reach someone anytime, anywhere, whenever via phone or text. There is no excuse for not talking to your partner for an entire week .
@@purple66666 I don’t see why you should communicate. As they all have said, they’re strangers, and want to meet up for a date. That’s the best time to communicate. That way, you don’t set any expectations, or feelings, and start the date neutral. And ALSO he DID say “happy friday” which was communication. And why is he the ONLY one who has to put in the effort? Why didn’t she? Double standards.
I wouldn't know that you are supposed to confirm either, but using the b* word does explain why he is still single. The question is: how old was she? Because if she was over 40 then I think she would not have expected a confirmation. Younger people however are used to communicate more, so I'd say she was probably younger, in which case it's best that they didn't meet.
With the first one, there was obviously a misunderstanding about dating etiquette. If I were the woman he was going on a date with, I probably would've texted to confirm the day of if I wasn't sure we were still on. I think both of them acted inappropriately, her for not even checking to attend, and him for calling her out of her name after. They both could've handled this better with better communication.
He didn't show enough interest, so there was nothing there for her to have interest in. It only makes sense to confirm if you're interested. Otherwise, if they haven't said anything just walk away and move on with your life. However, if he didn't interact all week or whatever and tried to confirm the day of, she 100% should've said she wants to cancel. She might've done that, if he tried to confirm. She wasn't interested, so no reason for confirmation. He didn't confirm, so it's reasonable to think he might not have been interested. That's the logic there. It doesn't matter if you have interest if you do not express said interest.
@Mika He didn’t show enough interest by what standard? He talked to her, he chatted, he set a time and a place, she confirmed it. He then, day of, messaged her, she hearted his comment/text.
That is confirmation.
Did he need to send a carrier pigeon? Hold her hand to the place? Make a secret handshake.
She can be wrong. Men don’t always have to be bad.
Reverse the genders and tell me how he was wrong for telling her they have to reschedule? Despite wasting her entire evening.
@nwj03a By very minimal standards. Someone could plan an entire, exciting day and bring flowers or some other gift. They can put a ton of effort like creating a playlist, a scavengerhunt, etc. Someone could make chocolates. Pay for the entire thing. There is so much someone *could* do, but it isn't necessary. Interacting with someone consistently in a reasonable manner is bare minimum. It's just texting. Super easy. Not a phone call or anything like that. If someone looking in your general direction or a "hey" is enough to earn your interest, I suppose that's a win for you both. It isn't enough for most women, I feel. I know I can, and do, better than that. Why would I go on a date with someone who doesn't talk with me when I could have alone time or meet up with someone who actually interacts with me consistently? Emotionally stable and independent women have no reason to downgrade from being single and happy to giving up their enjoyable time to someone who doesn't even hold a conversation when they claimed to have enough interest for a date. I assume she tried maintaining a conversation and he just doesn't do that. And instead of saying it he probably just let every one of her attempts quickly fizzle out. I've met a lot of online guys like that. Many people already have better than that.
And if the roles were reversed it would not matter. If she asked him out on a date, he tried to maintain conversation after the initial agreement, she fizzled out, didn't act at all as if you're worth her time, and didn't even bring up the date the day of he absolutely should not have interest in meeting with her and it'd be on her to express interest.
@@mikamagnol8931to be honest if she was interested she could have easily reached out to him instead of the other way around and he said they already confirmed it so there's that and also she could have asked if she wasn't sure instead of just straight up not showing up
@@nwj03a Why should SHE confirm, when HE asked for her number, and HE asked her out? If I make plans with friends and I’m the one to initiate them, I’m the one who confirms the plans with them, I don’t sit there the entire week no contact then get upset when they are not sure if the plans are still on or not. And I ESPECIALLY don’t start cursing them because of it. Also this is a stranger to him, the more reason he has to confirm with her. The fact that he straight away took to the internet to curse at her, and sent that passive aggressive message is a red flag. Also the fact that he texted her the day of but didn’t mention the date AT ALL makes it even more like the date was off. He literally texted “happy Friday”…ok? Is the date still on or not?
Especially on a first date, one of them NEEDS to confirm.
After hearing these stories I have never been more happily married 😂😂😂
Me too. Dating today is complicated.
Okay!!!!😌
She originally offered to pay her share but as soon as he knew he wasn’t getting anywhere his attitude changed big time 😂😂
Yep, exactly. He realized that covering her dinner was not leverage for him to get laid. Why should she have compromised
her principles and safety by letting a man she barely knew get access to her hotel room??? If those were his expectations, he could have been honest before agreeing to go out.
With the amount of men that think paying for a dinner gets them sex, perhaps regulated prostitution should be legalized, that way when these men look at you before the bill comes to ask if they can walk you to your room, you can give them directions to the nearest brothel instead.
She didn't offer until AFTER he asked to ealk,her to her room and she was full throttle insulting him. She thought she could guilt him into paying anyway by telling him she was suddenly prepared to pay herself when before she said nothing of the sort.
@@shaunofthedead3000 if he wanted transactional sex, he should have gone looking for a hooker, rather than ask a woman on a date.
If she had such a problem paying she would have kept insisting instead of offering to pay her share.
Usually when one person asks another on a date, they should be the one to pay, or at least clarify in the beginning that each person will cover their own expenses. If I asked a man or woman out to dinner or an event, I'd have no problem paying for both of us. But then again, I'm not thinking of the amount I spend on their meal to mean I can get sex from them, as if they OWE me for that.
@@shaunofthedead3000 You weren't exactly paying attention because she literally started by saying "Well I really appreciate it, should I pay for my half or....?". Yes, she could of just stated flat out "I'm paying for my half" but she did start off by offering to cover her half of the bill.
Imagine telling that drop dead gorgeous woman she needs to look more like Kim! I am so glad Charlotte said the same thing.
Exactly- that woman is EXACTLY who I wanna be when I grow up!! And they're both hourglass figures so what is he nitpicking about, ohmygod!!!🤦♀️🤦♀️😂
I had a guy I dated for a while. Everything was fine for a couple of months. Then he started talking about his dead fiancée and how much he missed her and how much I reminded him of her. A little creepy, but I get it, people grieve differently. So I was supportive. Then he said I should dye my hair black. I asked him why and he said 'because her hair was black, oh, and you need to start wearing these drop earrings, because she loved drop earrings" He was serious.
I got up, got everything I had ever brought over, stuffed it in a couple of bags and left. Sorry, nope, not going to play dress up as a ghost.
@@lindapatton4478🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
lmfaoooooo the last one is wild... bet, build me a house from scratch and ill get started on dinner
Speaking of daiquirry, I took a friend to a Mexican restaurant for her birthday. We ordered drinks and appetizers, and as the server was about to walk away with our orders, she called him back to make a substitution request. She said, and I quote, "I want cheese on my nachos not that queso stuff." The server looked very confused, and I later explained to my friend that queso is the Spanish word for cheese.
Wait how did the server interpret that request then?? “I want cheese, not cheese.” ???
Oh my god 😂
@@salamanda11 personally id interpret the situation as shes an idiot who doesnt know how to properly ask for shredded cheese.
😄
Oh Lordy! This is a subject that I think all of us have experienced at one time or another... The Bad Date.
Circa 1979, I went out with a guy who seemed like a country bumpkin, but I was okay with that. I have relatives in Texas and Oklahoma that I adore who are very much "country-folk".
He took me to a very nice restaurant but I think it might have been his first time in such an establishment.
He was suspicious of the salad, the first course, and exclaimed (loudly), "They put cornbread on my salad! Why did they put CORNBREAD on the salad??" He was talking about croutons. I thought he was making a joke so I laughed. He wasn't joking.
He paid the check and I didn't notice that he only left 32 cents for the tip, under his dirty napkin and on his dirty plate. This was the kind of restaurant with white table cloths, a maître d, wine steward, sous chef, etc. Our waiter (who had been excellent) followed us out to the parking lot, threw that 32 cents at my date and told him, "You obviously need this money more than I do! Go buy yourself some class!"
I was so embarrassed!
I went out on a date with a guy I met on a dating app. He talked a lot over dinner about things he'd done recently, including going out dancing, with his brother. Then he looked me dead in the eye and said. "I do everything with my brother." *pause* "Everything." I kept it together for the rest of the evening, paid for dinner, got the hell out of there, and ended contact.
About a year later he late night texted me and invited me to a threesome with him and his girlfriend. I was a little tempted to ask why his brother wasn't available but I just said no and blocked him.
🤣🤣
"Then what do you need me for?" may have been a good response in the moment.
I'm dead. Call the mourners, pick my casket and slap the coins on my eyes! That story is WILD!!
Plot twist his brother is also his girlfriend.
Oh, you should've asked !! xD
For the 1st one: When he texted 'Happy Friday', he (or she) could have added on 'I'm looking forward to seeing you tonight' & that would have sufficed.
For me, plans were made & confirmed earlier in the week & I wouldn't need additional confirmation, as I'd consider it set unless I heard otherwise.
Or if I did need additional confirmation, I’d ask for it. His text that morning was an easy invitation for her to say “we still on for tonight?” Like why did he have to be the one to say it if she was the one thinking it was falling through?
@@salamanda11 Yes! It's odd that she didn't say anything. I would have in that situation.
This is what I'm thinking as well. A simple, "looking forward to meeting you tonight" or "still on for tonight?" from either of them would have solidified their plans. Since she was the one who was apparently unsure, she should have been the one to double check.
Yes, he texted her Friday morning, so obviously it was still on, or why would he text that day? I thought it was rude of her not to respond to his clear opening bid by saying she was looking forward to the date or something. This is how communication works--it's a give and take. He made the first contact, and now it's her turn to respond. Charlotte said if she showed too much interest, she would come off as needy; doesn't this work for guys, too? I am personally turned off by men who are like that, especially someone I don't know.
Charlotte laugh is my favorite thing on the internet ❤
First guy. You did good.I'm a woman about your age, and I'd be fine with this. I'm scandinavian though,and the datingthing is different here.The expectations and demands of some women,especially "over there" are right down crazy. A guy askes you out for a pizza nobody needs affirmation and confirmation more than once. Not the A.H.
Yes, my thought exactly. I think this is something valid only for US/Canada lifestyle. I too am European and we do not need second confirmation for a date. You are only contacted in the event the date is cancelled and not the other way around.
@@ТеодораКолева-й3гI think I'm really hurt because in my personal social history it's been normal for people (friends dates family etc) to not let me know that the plans are cancelled... for example if we make plans for 2pm I'll message them at 145 and they'll be like, nah I have to clean my room....
Yeah, me niether - maybe it’s a European thing
Unless she did get there on time and whenever he texted AFTER the start time of the date and said he would still be another 5-10 minutes late that it is possible she was already there and left. For some people lack of punctuality is a deal-breaker
@@MissHellybaybee In Colombia, most people assume the arrangements are confirmation and you just check the day of if you have any doubts about any info. Hell, you don't even have to plan anything ahead, just go "Let's go out on Friday" and figure stuff out along the week or even that very same day. You don't need to RSVP with a butler and a messenger on a horse for a casual first date.
Regarding the woman whose date clearly insinuated that he should be invited to her room after paying for her dinner…I had an experience like that once, but it was in the “old days” where guys could be less subtle (yes! Less!), and it was also before women started paying for their own dinners (I know, I’m telling my age). After dinner he said he wanted to go somewhere “private” where we could “do our thing”. I asked him why he thought I was going to sleep with him after a first date, and he said (really!), “Well, I just bought you a steak dinner, so you owe me”. Dear god! I think I got out of his car at the next traffic light. Honey, I can find my way home on my own.
" you bought dinner, not me. I never put myself on the menu."
Yep, I was saying in those days too. It was completely ridiculous. 🤬
It's terrifying to read some of these comments and the comments responding. Some are full of men saying if they pay, they expect sex. Ew just really grossed me out. If you buy me dinner, NO that does not mean I HAVE TO sleep with you. JFC that's insanity and just appalling to me.
@@Starry_Skye22right?! Like if that’s what you’re expecting to pay for sex then go find an escort or whatever 🤷♀️
This is exactly why i wont let a man pay for my part of the date. Or drive me. No expectations of anyone feeling they are owed anything. We both gave our time and spent our money, and used our own gas to get there. I keep that playing field level!
I just wanted to say that I’m SO MAD because the black woman about 17 minutes in was SOOO stunningly gorgeous AND she had a COOL ASS CHILL ASS ATTITUDE. how dare someone tell her she basically wasn’t DRESSED right or making the right makeup choices in their opinion. humanity is SO wack bruh
My exact thought. She's absolutely stunning. That man needs a new pair of eyes, especially if he thinks Kim K is natural
this though.... she is AMAZINGLY STUNNING, and that man DARES to tell her to look different?!?!? HELL NO SIR.
Right?! Natural! lol @@1_f_f_4_h
She is definitely hot, don't how how any bloke could tell her she wasn't ready, she looks like the kind of woman who wakes up looking a million bucks
It's astounding to me that anyone would think Kim Kardashian looks better than the woman in the video!
Yes. Should totally confirm! People decide not to show up all the time
Over 10 years ago, I had a date with a guy who asked me out for a second date. He confirmed twice in the days leading up to the date. Since the date involved getting tickets, I was surprised that I hadn’t received a final confirmation of the night before the event. So I texted him to verify the time. He responded that he was too sick to go and wanted a rain check. I never heard from him again. Later I found out through a mutual acquaintance that he took another girl.
Because thats what they do..
Not to mention if he doesn't bother to communicate whole week than why bother to begin with...
Exactly. As you don't know the other person actually anything can happen. So you have to confirm. Plus if he puts so little effort so soon, imagine after a year into the relationship
that's pretty crappy
I mean would she rather him be high maintenance and give a margarita with top shelf ingredients lol! I mean he sounded humble and honest to admit he loves cocktails instead of beer! Ohhh and don’t knock Outback Steakhouse 😂 they actually have pretty awesome drinks and food! 👍🏼🫣
He confirmed twice what a ass like why 😅
Nah the first guy isn’t wrong. Confirmation is a two way street. If she wanted to text throughout the week, and wanted to confirm the date, she has full control to do that herself. She’s expecting him to put in effort she didn’t put in herself. If she had been texting and trying to confirm, that’s one thing. But to put in 0 effort herself and then get mad when she was shown 0 effort is wild to me. And what’s even more wild is he gave notice that he was gonna be late and then she ditched him. So she had no intention on going on the date and had no intention on letting him know that? Nah, she got what she put In and she can’t be mad about that.
He literally texted her that morning and she only responded by liking his message. He was the only one to provide any ounce of a confirmation. She's in the wrong on this one.
The first story I firmly believe the woman is at fault on this. It sounds like she didn't message him throughout the week, meaning he didn't reach out to her throughout the week to randomly message her. Then, on the day of their date, he messaged her "happy friday". If they made plans for Friday, and this guy messaged her ON Friday, that's a good sign he's still planning to meet up with her. If she didn't know the date was still going on, SHE should have asked after he reached out. Instead, she said nothing and then blamed him for not confirming the date for her.
Yes, thank you! I didn't understand why the guy got blamed, when he wrote her and she just responded with emoji. If anything her silence would not make me want to look annoying with many messages. I think the guy did a very reasonable steps from his side
so true, she was completely at fault, she should have messaged but she chose not to
Exactly my thoughts!
Completely agree. Why is all the pressure on him? I would have definitely said I’m looking forward to seeing you this evening in response to his happy Friday.
I found it funny i did make a dinner date with 2 week's notice and i did not confirm it at all and both of us did show up .... that's called respecting other peoples time ,and to be honest this its totally on her
The first story was good because it shows how over-communicating can be really helpful. He obviously got his feelings hurt because everything that she didn't like was her fault lol. He didn't text because he doesn't know her, then implies it's because people/she don't get his sense of humor/sarcasm. He's only a little bit late and lets her know, but feels she should be grateful that he even let her know he'd be late. Calls her a b**ch, says texting is for little girls, says he has better things to do during the week - he should hang out with his buddies during his free time until he's willing to put in more effort.
I agree!! I was curious as to why no one else seemed to mention this? At this point it’s concerning. He is absolutely a walking red flag!
He sounds really immature.
Not one of my dates, but a friend of mine went on a date recently, and whilst they're sat at the table eating, he casually asked her "so what would your dad think if you had a black eye?" When she told him it's not her dad he needs to be worried about, she'd knock him the f out if he ever tried, he replied "well that's not very lady like, a woman should know her place" !!!!!! Not surprisingly, she left immediately!
What! She dodged having to have a physical altercation with him.
She's a quick learner. Two black eyes means she had to be told more than once.
Sounds fake as hell
@@imperialdra-mon5907 Of course it is. Just like the video.
What the actual f...?
I appreciate how charlotte is comfortable with opening up the discussion on whether you disagree or not in the comments, and that people are comfortable to. You’d assume with similar content the RUclipsr would have only “yes men” in the comments. I’ve disagreed with charlottes takes a few times, but I have no hate towards her, nor do I think others do, due to the fact that she seems so open and comfortable with people being on either side. And I greatly appreciate that. ❤ it’s so interesting to read the comments because of this as well. Good on ya Charlotte!
YES, exactly!
The first woman's story, She offered from the start to pay. He said I got it. Then changed the story to you wanted free dinner. These are the boys making it hard for the rest of us.
That’s what I was thinking too! Totally shows he’s only willing to pay if he gets something in return.
That's why I make sure I have enough to pay for my meal before going out.... unless they will turn the situation to you being entitled
Lol 💀he thought he can get some 💭you know after paying for meals and walking with her to her room lol..Those are the same type of boys who will act like chad sigma and judge all women saying they all are for the stree and all 💀
I actually think he wanted to grape her
A tate todd, for sure.
"....I'm getting nothing, I'm giving nothing." In a dating context that comment is powerful.
Dude, the story with the last woman is INSANE. She is a 12/10 JUST in appearance, not even including the math I’m not privy to - her mind, her heart and who she is as a person - and a date told her what to do with her makeup?! 😂 World record fumble. I hope she found a man worthy of her presence because she deserves one just for the way she handled the exit.
She obviously had thousands in plastic surgery. Most men find that gross.
Would I tell a woman that she needed to look more like Kim K? Hell NO!
im gay as the day is long and I was STILL like "noooo he fumbled big tiiiime" like come on I have eyes and half a brain cell--
She should have told him that even Kim K doesn’t look like she did in 2008.
If he wants a Kim lookalike to “date” to fulfill some fantasy, then he should just get a blowup doll in her image and leave actual women alone. 🤦♀️
@@judycroteau482 you are absolutely correct
@@stevec3526 Not that it’s anyone’s business regardless but no?? She looks like she takes care of herself and was genetically blessed. And even if she did, that negates your point entirely because obviously someone wanted her for this story to have happened. Not to mention, Kim K has a whole new body at this point and men still want women to emulate her fake ass. No woman who is sure of herself gives a shit about what men want when it comes to their bodies anyway so. 💅🏻 Stay in your lane, no profile picture Steve.
Big disagree with the first story. If you have a set date, then you should assume you are still going on the date. People are busy during the work week, so some people don’t text that much during the week. If she was worried that she wasn’t getting any texts from him, she could have confirmed. I think the assumption that the date was canceled because he wasn’t chatty with her seems ridiculous to me. It feels so entitled. Communication goes both ways as well.
I did not want to use the word "entitled", but it has most certainly crossed my mind!
You say that, but honestly the amount of times guys ask me out for set day and time and then I never hear from them again is astounding, so I kinda ge it. I stopped chasing cos it's disheartening, like Charlotte says I give back the same energy, if they're messaging I'm messaging back, but honestly if the guy doesn't message me for 2 days after he asked me out the date is cancelled, this guy was an exception. I never had a situation where ha magically appeared and I stood them out by accident.
Yes I think entitled or just pessimistic in thinking he’s just not interested. I’d go with what was planned and prob leave after 15 mins if he didn’t send that message.
Agreed. I was coming down to the comments to say this.
It's been a long time since I was in the dating world, and cell phones weren't as "popular" as a method of communication like they are now. That being said.....if I didn't hear from the guy in a few days, I would have contacted him just to confirm. But this was 20 years ago. LMAO. I am happily married now.
This is one of the few times I disagree with Charlotte. They made the date on the Tuesday, for the Friday, (3 days!) then he sends her a cute little message on the friday, which she responds to, but that's not enough confirmation for her? He even let her know he was going to be a teeny bit late, but she's just like 'you know what? This guy isn't putting enough effort in'. If his low level of texting her was a deal breaker, why didnt she cancel the date after his morning text? Or even before that? Did she cancel because he was going to be late?
If she wanted confirmation, why didn't she ask him if the date was still on? It's 2023, women are allowed to do that sort of thing.
It sounds like she wasn't planning on showing up anyway. Usually people say they're gonna be late pretty close to the meet-up time. So her not even being there after only a few minutes makes me assume she never even bothered to get ready...
Agreed
@@TyLeeslilsisShe wasn't there at all.
Agreed - that's what I heard, sorted date on Tuesday, for three days later. It's on, unless someone says it's not.
Absolutely! God forbidhe doesn't text for a couple days. He must hate you and want to cancel lol
Hahahaha, I’m not a dentist office. I’m not gonna send you a “confirmation” text. 😂
I was on a first date and I was so nervous. And I get clumsy when I'm nervous. So I spilled a FULL glass of iced tea ALL over my lap and I was SO embarrassed!
... we're about to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary in a few weeks.
That's a fun story to tell the family as well
wholesome!!
I smashed my sundae dish on the first date with my husband... now happy married 😂
The story that made me the most angry was the man who expected the woman to invite him to her room because he bought her dinner... I would think anyone wanting a second date and hopefully more, wouldn't put pressure for something more than what the woman is comfortable with to happen on the first date. And any guy that thinks a woman's worth is the cost of a dinner, isn't even worth the hassle of having that dinner paid for. Most of us women know that at this point, and will happily pay for our meal to get out of feeling like we owe anyone anything. Most of us will pay for our dinner period, just like she offered to begin with. But then he had to go and make it even more weird after he said he would pay. He went from being a gentleman to a complete creep in like 2 minutes.
If it wasn't clear for the one who showed up to the coffee date and he had another woman with him, he was expecting her to be their Unicorn. For those that might not know what a Unicorn is, it is a woman willing to have a threesome with an established couple. I mean he could have at least bought her coffee first, damn! Lol. But seriously, that is the absolute worst way to find someone who might be interested in doing something like that, and she was right to run!
For the absolutely stunning woman who blocked the guy who wanted her to look more like Kim K, she is a queen! The fact that he had the audacity to tell her friend that she is the crazy one is absolutely laughable. For one, she is absolutely gorgeous as she is! Secondly, those pictures of Kim are after she has had a lot of work done, makeup always done by a professional makeup artist, and she has not allow any pictures of her to be published anywhere on the internet without them being heavily photo shopped. He is absolutely the crazy one, and her only answer to him should be that he seriously needs therapy.
Last woman was far more stunning than Kim and he has the audacity to say shit like that???
Plus he was talking to her in real life, not just talking to her picture online. That woman is beautiful and real, not Kim and her fake enhancements!
I was looking at that absolutely stunning woman and thinking who is this crazy man who thinks she needs to change her looks! Her body, her skin, her voice, HER HAIR! WOW
The man who scared this goddess off needs therapy. Get a psychiatrist on speed dial quickly.
Right? That woman is absolutely STUN-NING!
That guy is delulu. No woman will ever be "good enough" for him!
So to the man in the 1st story, IM AVAILABLE AND NOT HIGH MAINTENANCE!!!!😂❤😂❤
While usually I agree with you Charlotte, the first one is a big fat nope for me. Just no. Like is this an American/Canadian thing? If your plans fall through it's on YOU to warn the other person, not on the other person to confirm that you're not by any chance a big irresponsible baby incapable of informing them that something else came up. Besides, why didn't SHE confirm or text him during the week?
i'm with you.
Sound logic. The person who can’t make it must do the responsible thing and ask to reschedule
@@alexia2189 If communicating doesn't help, why is his kind of communication such a douche move?
He did check in on her in the morning, he did tell her he was running a little late. That is communicating.
She cancelled without telling him, that's a lack of communication.
I agree. Communication is a two way street.
I'm with you too... The second woman commenting on it is annoying... Why are we "assuming" things? Just ask! We wanted equality between women and men, so take responsibility as well and don't "assume"
Ps: a woman in her 30s
First story; If she wasn't sure if they were still going out then SHE should text to confirm. To him there was no uncertainty. She was the flake, he was understandably annoyed that she flaked. The idea that he must not be that interested because he didn't text her all week is juvenile.
Juvenile. Yep that’s the word I was looking for.
All she needed to do to confirm without coming across as clingy - which Charlotte says is her fear - she could've replied to his "Happy Friday" text with "Looking forward to our date tonight!" instead of simply heart it. That would've opened the door for him to say, "Me too!" or "Actually...." and cancel. I always confirm with friend when I'm not sure, and it usually looks a lot like that.
I am with the first guy. Yes, I can see her side and understand that one might be unsure if plans will actually happen, especially with a person you just met. But you know what, if you are unsure, ASK. Communicate. It’s not that difficult.
And with a person who didn't text to say they were going to be late until the actual start time of the date had arrived.
It’s confirmed until someone cancels. Awesome that she acted stupid BEFORE he bought her half a pizza.
About confirming a date, I agree with the guy. If I am asked out on a date and we have an agreed upon day/time I would never think to confirm. I confirmed when I agreed to go out. If that girl was unsure if they still had plans because she hadn't heard from him, why didn't she confirm if they were still on? Also he messaged her Happy Friday the morning of the date and she acknowledged the text. If she had any questions about whether they were still on for their date that night, she could have taken that opportunity to confirm if she was unsure. Basically if she had any questions about if they were still meeting up that night she could have put her big girl panties on and sent him a quick text if that's what she needed. I would never think to not show up to a date if I made plans with that person just because I did not hear from them for a couple of days prior. Like he said were adults and if she had questions she could simply text instead of wasting his time. Sometimes shit happens. But I know that if I make plans with somebody I will be there. It's not this guy's fault. I would not
Agree
100% agree!
Yup ! Everyone seems to forget the " Happy Friday " text ! She could have said something !
💯💯💯💯 AGREED
But then what about the people who view punctuality as important...because he stated that he didn't text to say he was running late until it was late enough he expected her to already be there to grab a table. So I think he was the one who actually needed the confirmation as he either forgot completely or has poor time management.
The girl who had her date show up with his girlfriend reminds me of something that happened to my ex years ago. She’d met a girl on Tinder who’d said she was lesbian. They organised to grab a drink after talking for a few days. This girl shows up with her boyfriend! She called them predators and left. Like WTF that’s so unsafe!
Wow, that’s scary. Don’t know if that was going in the hate crime direction or thinking a threesome was a possibility. Very sketchy for sure.
Maybe she was bi and wanted a three-way?
@@Blondie77128could be that, an open relationship, or poly 🤷🏾♀️
@@Blondie77128 it was definitely for the threesome angle. Disgusting AF for her though. She’s super confident though, and tore the two of them a new arsehole in front of everyone, reported them to Tinder. I hope they got banned.
Unicorn hunters!
I haven't dated in over 20 years (married happily, thank goodness) but the first man didn't do anything wrong, to my understanding. They already confirmed. He told her he was a few minutes behind schedule. She *hearted* his "Happy Friday!" Therefore he was obviously still planning to go on the date and to his knowledge, so was she! Instead of hearting his greeting, she should've shot back a quick text instead, "are we still on for 7:30?" So easy.
That's exactly how it goes when I (a single woman) have made plans in advance with my married friends. It's pretty simple really, and simply confirms that no family tragedies/illness or whatever have happened in the meantime. Also an opportunity for something like 'watch out for construction on such and such street, maybe go the other way' or whatever.
To me, the ❤️ to the Happy Friday was a confirmation.
Yeah, he reached out. She had an in if she was unsure. They had communication, she saw the texts, and responded nonverbally in the positive. He didn't blow her off for weeks or something, it was two days. Two days where she also didn't reach out in any capacity. She didn't know him all that well, and he didn't know her all that well. Every excuse given to the woman in the situation can be given to the man in the situation. A grown adult should know if something is needed, appreciated, or expected, they should ask for it when that thing is lacking. Assuming it's gone belly up after TWO DAYS AFTER MAKING PLANS is not reasonable when she should know damn well that life can take you away from social interactions at a moment's notice.
@@YourWaywardDestiny facts
I wouldn’t do or expect second confirm, and I’m a woman. I’m an adult. We scheduled a date, and I, too, do what I say. This was a red flag on her part, and he dodged a bullet. She essentially stood him up. No wonder so many people would rather not even date; this mess is getting ridiculous.
This might be an unpopular opinion but what happened to accountability? If im asked on a date for friday I put on my schedule Friday Date Night. If something comes up that prevents me from going then I reach out and say “hey, xyz happened can we reschedule.” If you require being asked multiple times if you are still free for a date I would be so happy to have dodged that bullet. Am I also going to have to reconfirm multiple times for everything we do? Sounds exhausting, id prefer to be with someone that can communicate properly and be responsible for their own time and activities.
Totally agree.
Yes! When did people become such flowers. We make plans. Great Ill see you then I don't need confirmation 3 times!
He ghosted her for a whole week. She didn't say she expected him to ask her if she's still free multiple times lol, she just expected him to remain in contact. If someone ghosted me for a week I'd assume they didn't want to see me anymore too.
@@Ktakahashi18No one said anything about asking "3 times". But if someone ghosts you for a week it's fair to assume they're no longer interested. I'd definitely make different plans after being ghosted for a week.
@@swhitson9633But if he didn't message her, then why didn't she message him first to ask if they are still on or at least start a conversation with him during the week?
If the sin is poor communication, then aren't they both guilty of being poor at it?
For the first story, I don’t think he was in the wrong aside from his reaction and calling her a b****. There were only 2/3 days in between setting the date and the actual date and I fully agree that you don’t need to be texting in between that time especially because he DID text her Friday (day of) and she didn’t respond. So if SHE needed the confirmation then she should’ve responded with a quick “we still on for tonight?” Also, since she assumed the date was cancelled but it wasn’t she would have stood him up had he not texted her that he was running late. So overall I don’t think he was in the wrong but I do think the reaction of “I do what I say” is a bit off and calling her a B**** was uncalled for
The b word is OBVIOUSLY a form of expression. 🙄
@@viviawaag863still, was a turn hearing that from a guy, specially since he said it because he was mad
@@karly.asshhh It doesn’t change the fact that it’s a figure of speech. An expression. It is used all the time.
Completely agree that timeframe between initial confirmation and date dictate if a second confirmation is needed. If the date is a week or more out, confirmation day before or at least morning of would be expected. But I wouldn’t reconfirm something set only 2 or 3 days prior. I would apply this rule to any social appointments, first date, lunch with friend, whatever.
I also think he exhibited red flags in this video that she should be glad she stood him up. I agree with his expectations, not his response.
imo she kinda was being a b-word. there was only 2 - 3 days between their date planning and the day of and, like he said, he was busy w/ work and other errands. he has a life, he doesnt have to drop everything to text her every day. unless they were officially together, which wasnt the case, he is in no obligation to text her every day unless both parties are super into each other. and what about her? why didnt she text him? so just because HE didnt text HER, she got pissy at him and just assumed the date was off??? sounds like a b**** that was just looking for an excuse to bail to me
Everyone communicates differently. The girl from the first story did NOT set a boundary, she made an assumption and made no attempt to seek clarification. If you want someone to communicate with you a certain way then COMMUNICATE THAT. Communicate your expectations. Communicate your boundaries. Communicate you don’t plan to show up. Don’t assume someone can read your mind, especially if you just met. Him hurting her was a misunderstanding, her hurting him by flaking then lashing out was intentional.
I agree him referring to her as a b!tch on TikTok isn’t cool. He is a bit of an a-hole for that, but she was for everything that came before that (based on the limited info we have).
If you go back and listen to what he said IN CONTEXT he did not call her a bitch. At all. The women in the response twisted what he said. That isn't what he said at all. You know those inner thoughts you get when someone says something and you're like "bitch please" or " bitch who asked you"? Those kinda inner thoughts. That's exactly how he used that when he said that word. He was not calling her a bitch. He was not referring to her as a bitch. He was making a generalized reactionary response all of us make when we are astounded or confused by something. Context matters. And I for one ans beyond sick of seeing people put words into other people's mouths to justify their double standard bullshit.
see this situation so often with friends. Yeah, he did't confirm as he thought date was set. If she wasn;t sure, she could have texted him. simples
I’m a woman and I can’t express enough HOW BITCHY HER RESPONSE WAS THO 😂 like, if it walks talks and quacks like a duck why are we pretending otherwise?!
He communicated with his actions that he wasn't very interested or invested. I wouldn't follow through with plans with someone like that. He basically told her she is hardly worth interacting with. At that point he shouldn't expect for her to confirm or do *anything*.
Actions are a form of communication. It's incredibly important to back up your actions with words, but if you don't it's on you when someone reacts to the only communication they *did* receive. I don't understand who would have interest in a guy who behaved the way he did. There's just nothing really there, and it's so incredibly easy to have more than that. So why downgrade or settle?
Emotionally stable, independent women have better things to do with their time.
The woman did state a boundary, but as hindsight. I agree she wasn't up-front with any sort of boundary, but her boundary is *incredibly* reasonable and doesn't need to be communicated, because not communicating it will naturally weed out guys who naturally aren't super interested. I will quickly loose interest in anyone who puts me in a position where I feel like I am nagging. I shouldn't have to tell someone to be interested or show interest.
The woman made the right move. You can see in his reaction that she dodged a bullet. Everything is confirmed within 24 hours. Haven't you ever made an appointment to anything ever? LOL.
Very much this... if you have a boundary/requirement, let that be known. Why do people, especially with how much we hear/know about the importance of communication, still expect others to read their minds and adhere to whatever arbitrary standards they've created for themselves.
At least the dude didn't take her to outback for a boomerarita! Lol
For real? What boundaries did she set? He made the move to ask her out, made plans and everything, TEXTED HER on the same day which she hearted it for her then to blame HIM for not confirming? Confirm what?? The date was scheduled by both of them, that is it, end of story!! That's the date! If you need confirmation, then do that for yourself! For him the date was set and he was on that, where was her? I mean come on, don't be ridiculous.
Don't you know that it's always the man's fault no matter what happens or doesn't happen? He should have read her mind... duh
@@klauseba Oh right yes, I am so stupid..I blame my father for abandoning me..tsk oh well!
This little thread cracked me up yall are great 😂
@klauseba bitter much?
Exactly! And if the roles had been reversed and a guy responded to a good morning text with just a heart emoji, everyone would be saying she should have just canceled the date because she deserved more than that as a response.
That first story, I'm female and have a guy cancel on me for the same reason.
We met on Tinder, texted for a few days then he ask me out, so we set the date on a Saturday afternoon.
Our conversation slowly fizzled out after confirming the date. We did not text the next 3 days and I thought nothing of it. It was a first date, no one is invested, so there's no obligation for daily small talk but he was pissed.
He called Friday night to cancel the date. I was confused so I ask if everything's ok. He went on this rant about how I've ignored him for 3 days by not texting him. He did not text me either so... By this time I knew I was done so I said ok, alright then and hung up. He then texted me a wall of text treating this like a break up. Unhinged lol 😂
😮😂😂
You were prepared to still go on a date after the convo fizzled out? Ohhhh I reckon you both missed a bullet here. He seems overly clingy and you don’t seem to have very high standards
Give me a made up story for 500 Alex.
I hard disagree with Charlotte when it comes to the first story. If you make plans you stick to those plans. If something happens and you need to change your plans that's fine but it falls on whoever is changing the plans to say something. His plans hadn't changed. He stuck with them. This is entirely on the girl who can't follow basic plans.
Yikes
She has a different communication style he is butthurt n shitting on her communication style. If U don't just say have a great day. Then you're probably dead.
Thank you!!!! Man........I came here to say the same! Hate the entitlement of some folks🙄 is it an age thing?
It’s also only two days or three before. Not like a week.
True I would just text him the day of and say something like can't wait for tonight to make sure if I wasn't sure
@@alyssapower5823 exactly! If she had any concerns she should have said something.
Had a woman inform me "if you're going to date me the beard goes" ..i still have my beard 😎
Read this and ready it good, you women are sick super mentally, I went on a date last night this woman was so broke, I'm buying food and ice cream for her, I haven't bought myself anything all night, how about this? she has a female roommate that doesn't pay her anything, no kind of rent, and yet she has no food in her house! Topping on the cake is we work the same job and I get paid good money why are you broke living on section 8, I just walked away after a while of listening to her bulshit,
That first guy was ABSOLUTELY in the right here. If she really needed that “confirmation”, she should’ve shot him a quick message herself, “hey we still on for Friday?” It really does sound like maybe she didn’t really want to go, and she was grasping at straws for any reason to get out of it. I think his morning-of text was perfect; he was letting her know he was thinking of her, because they’d see each other later that day. If she truly wasn’t sure the date was still on, she had the perfect opportunity to ask for extra-confirmation right there.
She didnt communicate at all!!
And he said he waited until the start time of the date had already arrived to send his first message saying grab a table I am still going to be 5-10 minutes late.
I know someone who lack of punctuality is a deal-breaker and they would have left when the person either didn't care enough to tell them they were behind schedule until AFTER the start time of the date because having the first time you tell someone you are late be when you should already be there says either they don't care enough, or they have poor time management and this will be a regular occurrence
She absolutely wasn't interested, hence why she did not decide to look for confirmation herself. I also wouldn't have interest in keeping a date with someone who hardly interacted with me. Like, I'm only worth your time if I'm there in person? Someone like that isn't worth my time. I assume this woman felt similarly, but I suppose I really don't know.
Opinion on the first one: reconfirming the date if you haven’t been in communication should be a mutual thing. He should check with her, but she should have checked with him too. I wouldn’t assume a date was cancelled just because I hadn’t heard from him the rest of the week, especially if it was one of those matches you didn’t talk with much anyway.
Like there are times where it’s like, skip the small talk, let’s get ice cream on Friday, and then you just kind of assume that both of you aren’t into trying to force small talk over text, you know?
The only time I would assume it was cancelled is if he told me it was cancelled, or if after I texted to confirm I got no timely response.
He could have Friday morning see u tonight ! She could have done more them a non committal heart.
@@joywebster2678his happy Friday text was an opening to dialogue, her non reply by using the heart is her mistake. It was an opportunity for her to continue the conversation and either mention the date, or give him the opportunity to if she was uncertain but didn’t want to be the one to mention it first.
Also, I’m fairly certain they made the plans Tuesday for Friday, I wasn’t like they made plans Saturday or Sunday for the following Friday. It was literally two days between making plans and the event. If I made plans with someone that I confirmed two days prior, I would definitely assume they were on UNLESS I heard otherwise.
@@Mrjudsonjames so we said the same thing.
@@joywebster2678 Pretty much. We agree she should’ve confirmed if she was unsure. I was adding that he’d started the dialogue where if she didn’t want to be the one to outright confirm, she could’ve kept the dialogue open to give him more opportunity to mention that nights date somehow so there was no need for anyone to confirm. She had the opportunity to save face if she wasn’t sure and didn’t want to seem so. But she shut it down with a simple emoji reply, not word to continue the chat. He clearly didn’t need to confirm from his end. She did. She could’ve easily managed to get it out of him with a convo. A simple “so what pizza you planning on trying tonight?” That’s not sounding uncertain, or trying to confirm, that’s assuming he said what he meant and if he then says “what you mean?” Then it’s him that looked bad, not her. Personally I don’t think he did anything wrong. She did when she gaslit him that it was all his fault that he was stood up when she realised it. So glad im not on the dating scene anymore! 😂
Why the heck didn't that first gal confirm the date herself, when he texted her on Friday? It's not the 1800s. Women don't have to wait around for a man to arrange everything. I've been in her position, and I'll just send them a: "Hey, are we still good for Friday? 😊".
Exactly
There are aspects of dating that is way harder on women. I think it's understandable that some expect a bit more effort on the man's part.
@@AnnafromHungarylvNWI’m not really a man defender, but honestly this is ridiculous. He made the effort to ask her out, and was probably going to pay. All she had to do was as get herself ready and show up. She was rude for that. If she wanted a second confirmation, all she had to do was text and say “Hey are we still on for Friday at 7:30?” That’s literally all it would’ve taken. In his mind and my mind, making plans and not canceling them IS confirmation that you have plans. It honestly sounds like she would’ve complained about anything, regardless.
@@AnnafromHungarylvNWLike what beside the creepy messages and having to dig through dick picks?
@@AnnafromHungarylvNW Absolute bullshit.
You ever see the Key and Peele sketch where they’re texting and one of them thinks they’re about to fight and the other thinks they’re going out for a beer? Same energy as the first video.
Two adults made a date and he was the only one responsible enough to actually show up. He shouldn't have to babysit her and ask if she still plans to keep the date they already agreed on or not.
Let me clear things up, I do agree with some of your points but some women or men want to be confirmed again to make sure your not gonna get stood up by the person asking you out
Unless something is said that it's NOT happening, I assume it's happening. Getting a "Happy Friday" is actually a nice reminder imo without putting extra pressure on her.
...idk. I guess I like being on my own too much that constant conversation IS creepy and clingy to me. I would rather talk in person than in text with someone I don't know too.
She could've and should've reached out if she was unsure if the date was still on. Men often think differently in these situations.
@@TyLeeslilsis "Happy Friday" isn't a confirmation. It's a Saluttion. If he had at least texted "Happy Friday" I would have responded with a bit more than just a heart emoji. Maybe a question: "Oh, are we still on tonight?" Or something similarr.
He made the date, and I agree with Charlotte on this, he should have put in the effort to confirm. No confirmation = No interest and I've made other plans.
@@TheJustineCredible He said "Happy Friday." Their date was for Friday. THAT is a reminder. There was no word that they were cancelling until she decided to not show up at all. You've got a phone. You can ask too if you need a secondary confirmation. People don't know what you don't tell them.
People don't generally say they're gonna be late hours before. They say it when they're on their way. She wasn't even there. I'm under the assumption she never intended to be there if her only response was one with an attitude.
This is ridiculous. Nothing stopped her from confirming either.
100%. However, I would never care to confirm (or go) if the guy didn't communicate consistently throughout the time of meeting and the time of the date. I personally have no problem with being the one to confirm (no idea about the girl he spoke of in the vid), but why would I spend time with this guy who merely asked me out on a date and didn't have the time and/ or interest in communicating with me, when I could instead have "me" time or hang out with people who actually talk with me consistently? I'm not low on interest of others. And I don't need a relationship. What reason would an emotionally stable, independent woman have to meet with a guy who either didn't want to text her or doesn't have the time? There are better things we can be doing. It's so easy to have more than that, so why settle?
@Mika So the man has to confirm? Other than hearting his good morning the day of the date (that she agreed to attend).
She has no obligation at all? Your preference is irrelevant to what happened. He asked (burden on man), she confirmed, he texted morning of (burden on man), she confirmed with a heart emoji.
He did everything and she responded. If you want more communication, ask for it. Men are not mind readers.
@nwj03a If he was interested after not showing interest, yes. Someone who is interested should be confirming. I'm saying it makes sense that she wouldn't be interested, so that would be why she wasn't the one to confirm in this case. He didn't show interest, so there was no reason to believe the date would actually happen, or should happen.
@@mikamagnol8931 "emotionally stable, independent woman" You seem obsessed by this. It has nothing to do with the story, yet you seem to want to tell the world something about yourself.. isn't it.
One of the better things is to show basic respect to the fellow human being if you decide not to show up for a date set 2 days earlier... TWO DAYS. How much "interest" is a person required to show within that timeframe exactly? Is that supposed to be some form of foreplay or something? They are strangers, they'll get to meet in two days and talk all they want.
Again, TWO DAYS. And why is the burden of communication laid upon his shoulders? Is the independent woman not capable of texting herself? Like for example to say she wasn't going to be there on the date?
You're not the center of the universe. Nobody is.
@@mikamagnol8931 Girl, it was _two days_ that they went without speaking, and I didn't see her reach out during that time, either. So why is only he to blame for "lack of interest" (which is stupid because I'm sure both of them were a-okay with two days of not speaking to someone they hadn't even met yet) and not her?
First story... He gave her space and was respectful. The date was made and confirmed when the time was set. Then on the day of, which was only a couple of days later, he DID reach out to her and SHE wouldn't respond with actual words. The woman is the one who made the assumptions about Him. He respected her space and was secure enough to trust when they confirmed that they wouldn't need to reconfirm and in turn was hit with a woman making all kinds of assumptions about how he felt instead of being an adult and communicating with him. No he shouldn't have called her a b word that wasn't okay but I personally don't see him as an asshole. I feel like the woman ruined the date herself because of her own insecurities and assumptions she made about him. they said "they don't know eachother" - no they don't so she had no right to assume he didn't want to go. She could have even talked to him about it and got over the misunderstanding but she refused.
I love that charlotte edits her face into inanimate objects
That 1st guy is absolutely right. Dating over 40 is different than what you “kids” do. If SHE was worried then SHE should have reached out with “hey, we still on?”. They made plans, it’s been confirmed…that’s that. We aren’t children.
That begs the question that if she's in a different mind set of a younger generation, how old is she?
@@chronocontract8835 What an odd question to beg. She's most likely a fully functioning adult...
@@nicanonymous9023 why is that so strange? He never said her age, he has expectations that a lot of people here are agreeing with coming from an older generation. The younger generation are agreeing with her method. It just makes me wonder if he's dating someone his age or someone much younger than him. That doesn't mean she's not an adult but it could mean that she's between 18 to 25 or something which would explain the miscommunication
Even at 30, I would not show up unless it's been double confirmed especially not if they have been ghosting me all week. Especially if it's somebody she was on the fence about on the first place, I can see her not wanting to be awkward and reach out to him
@@chronocontract8835 You're being dishonest. There are plenty of people from the younger generation that are agreeing with what the man is saying.
I once was asked out by this girl, it was a very sweet moment. We were out with a bunch of friends in front of everyone she had said all these nice things like, "you are such a nice guy, I love spending time with you, you are the guy of my dreams will you go out with me." I agreed and we went on a few dates, we went to the zoo, out to dinner, went to coffee, and I even met her family and she had met mine. I thought everything was going great. Well I was wrong. I texted her one day and asked her what she'd like to do on our next date and her response was, "um next date? I didn't know we were dating" at this point I'm very confused because again she was the one who asked me out. And it is not like it could have been a misunderstanding because when someone says "you're the man of my dreams, will you go out with me?" There's no room for confusion. I kindly brought up her asking me out and the dates we had gone on and she was like, "I never said that and I was just going to those places to be nice. I'm not looking for a relationship right now. We can be friends though." I was completely shocked. I would have been fine if she had just said I'm not ready for a relationship or that she just wasn't interested anymore, but that's not what she said. She had to pretend we never dated which I find very rude and very tacky. I responded with "I'm sorry but I just can't" and then proceeded to delete her number and never saw her again. I don't know if I would have responded the same way now but at the time I was a young teenager who hated confrontation, so maybe there was a world that I could have handled it better, but I'm also glad I didn't stick around. I don't need that kind of delusion in my life.
Years have passed since that breakup and now I'm happily married with a baby on the way, so to all the lovely people who are going through bad breakups right now, don't worry you will find the right person at the right time. Much love to you all
Men and women have issues. This girl is crazy
If it makes you feel better, the story did feel like a teenager story. You eventually mentioning it just confirmed it.
It's quite possible she meant what she said, but then her mind/feelings changed or someone else popped up in the scene... and perhaps she did not do well with confrontation either...
A lot happens during the teenageryears :)
Best of luck to your little family!
It just sounded like she was young and immature. Maybe she had some mental stuff going on or something you just weren't aware of. Either way, everything happens for a reason and your life now is a testament to that.
Sounds like she listed for you and when that faded, she was no longer interested and that was her immature way of handling it. It just wasn't meant to be! You did a great job at taking the high road! Nothing more needed to be said.
Disagree on the first one about reconfirming... If anything comes up to change those plans, absolutely... If you make plans once, they're plans... Period
Couldn’t agree more
Right! It's not like they scheduled it a month before, where I could see confirming to make sure the other person didn't forget, but it was days earlier! And he had a time and place set that she agreed to. She stood him up.
Agree!!
My thoughts exactly
Yes but shouldn’t you touch base at least before you leave ? 🤷🏻♀️ I’m the type of person I have to plan everything. So I would be sending a message to confirm before I leave anywhere. ** which she could’ve done the morning of to confirm too
Yaaa id expect to confirm again because id be just weird not saying a word all week. Not a word said would make me think he's changed his mind.
First story:
An appointment is an appointment. You don’t need to be reminded of it constantly like a toddler with amnesia.
When someone asks you out and you say yes, it’s confirmed.
I do understand if you don’t hear anything at all for a few days, you might wonder if the person is still willing to meet up. But instead of assuming it’s cancelled, just reach out and ask if you guys are still on.
Modern mentality is not an excuse we should allow. I’m not from an older generation myself. I still think, your word is your word. If I say YES to a guy and neither of us has mentioned the word “cancel”, then it’s not cancelled. If I need an extra confirmation, I’ll ask for it.
"you don't need to be reminded constantly like a toddler with amnesia" 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Totally agree
..YES!... sorry charlotte but if its confirmed its confirmed... its an adult... if shes want reconfirmation like this... just go and never look back... she wont be worth it... behaving like a toddler..NO...just NO... not with my time...
When someone makes a date a week before and you hear nothing, then the day of they just say, "happy Friday", I don't care if you had agreed or not, it makes it sound like the guy had amnesia and forgot he made the date. He should have said "Happy Friday, looking forward to seeing you tonight."
@@eugeniaskelley5194 😪
he specifically said
“I didn’t text her Wednesday, I didn’t text her Thursday” which implies they made planes on TUESDAY.
It’s not like he vanished for a week!!! It was TWO days!!
Plus if he intended to cancel would he be texting her again, TWO days later “happy Friday”?
I don’t necessarily agree with the way he expressed himself but he’s not wrong.
And yes he could have added that nice touch. But it’s ok if he didn’t.
@@eugeniaskelley5194 ...sounds to me u have a need for confirmation..., if so u should say so from the start, if u made a date, set an appointment forward in time, it doesent matter if its a week or a month...
..and u definetly do not ever write something simillar to .... just checking to connfirm our date ... it screams desperation...
If having to confirm the morning of a date is a requirement for her then she should have let him know to confirm that morning.
He did send her a text that morning and she responded with a heart. He dodged a bullet with this one.
Right! He is not a mind reader!
@@seeya205 people have different preferences. some women would call him clingy or needy for texting more than that.
Or confirm herself. Instead of heart his message she could've said, "Looking forward to our date tonight!" and that would've been enough without coming across as clingy or needy - which is what Charlotte seemed to give as an excuse. If you're not sure, it's on you to make sure, not the other party to be a mind reader and confirm for you.
@@happychaosofthenorth Now, you are just talking foolishness! You expect an adult to mature and responsible?!?! 😂
I completely agree with Charlotte, my Dad was the one to tell me when I was 16 years old and started to date, “number 1 always carry more money than what you’ve think you would need and number 2, always PAY for your own things in your first 3 dates, so men don feel like you own them something in return”
SOOOO… that was what I always did since 16, until i met my fiancé 4 years ago… and problem solved, now I’m 29 years old getting married on 2024 ❤
and I hope he is happy with your illiteracy
Same here. I have two (now adult) daughters and when they were young I always made sure they have money with them when they went on dates. Not only for food and entertainment, but for a cab/Uber if things don’t go well.
Congrats 🎉
That guy that called that lady a b***h. Just looking at his body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and attitude. He rubbed me the wrong way immediately. Gave me bad vibes all day long. Eww!🤢
The guy that made the video about dating over 40, that made a date with the lady for the pizza place and asked her to get an outside table DID IN FACT confirm with the date, how am I the ONLY person that heard him say that they had already confirmed once and shouldn't have to confirm the date twice. Him calling her the B word wasn't nice BUT HE DID COMFIRM THE DATE WITH THE LADY ONCE but just NOT twice.
Agree! Sorry, but as a women that lady stood him up, which was a b*tch move. When strangers treat me rudely, I curse them out. If he did that to me, I’d be calling him an a-hole.
I agree! He and she confirmed when they made concrete plans to go on the date! If she needed a second confirmation, she should’ve text him Friday and said “Hey are we still on for tonight?”
He didn't confirmed... he says that when she said yes that's a confirmation... thats not a confirmation a confirmation comes after that yes... to confirm... even he said for him that one yes was the confirmation... and looks she texted him because he let know he didn't text her because his sarcastic jokes... so she was texting him!!! And he ghosted her. And then called her a b in his childish tantrum.
Why did he ghost her? The phone works TWO ways. She obviously wasn’t that interested because women will def blow you up if they do
You are not the only person. I heard him say he confirmed it, too.
Charlotte, you were so wrong in the first one. They made a date Tuesday and texted her Friday morning and she sent a heart. When he texted again the same night she made up an excuse to renig. No one sent a message saying they couldn't make it so why would she assume the date was canceled? This was all on her. She should've put on her big girl panties and told him she didn't want to go.
Before I was married back in college. I did not allow anyone to pay for me. I heard too many scary stories that if the guy pays then he expects sex. That was drilled into me by my friends. So I never let a date pay not even for a movie. I also never let a date see my apartment either. I look at it like you didn't pick me up, you didn't pay for anything. I don't have to do anything with you after the date is over. I always ask the server for separate checks before ordering anything.
1. His point of view "You just wanted a free meal". 2. Her point of view "You think you just paid for sex by buying dinner. You want to see where I live. You think I'm only worth $X and that I'm a prostitute". I totally agree with you, and that's how I organized my dating life. One guy even got miffed because he'd just bought (insisted on buying) this expensive dinner. Exactly like Charlotte said I stood there and told him -"Mate, if you thought you could buy my 'services' with one dinner, then you've mistaken me for a prostitute. Secondly, if I WERE a prostitute, I'd be charging way more for my time".
Smart woman
I can’t stand the “I need constant confirmation” people. If we makes plans, and don’t talk until said plans take place, assume it’s still ON bc we didn’t cancel. Like WTF… can’t we all just hold ourselves accountable, not overcommit and say yes to something with no intentions on showing up??? I can really tell who was raised on landlines and who wasn’t lol😂
OMG yes! 😂 This is exactly how I feel!
I don’t think it only applies to dating over 40. I’m 24 and I find it weird that the woman in the first clip assumed he didn’t want to go on the date anymore. Yeah he could have texted during the week, but she could have texted as well. Who knows what really went down. Also, he did proceed to call her a b*tch. I have a feeling they both weren’t that into each other so they saved themselves any more time being wasted.
yea, it's giving me that feeling as well. Both weren't feeling the vibe
I think if you are not going to show up, that merits a text, even more that showing up to that date. Imagine sitting there going “I wonder if she got lost?”
I have a male friend who used to think buying a woman dinner is paying for sex. Thankfully, he found a woman who kicked him in the proverbial nuts over it. They've been together for around 10 years. Lol
Goes to show even the worst bridge trolls can have a beautiful redemption arc 😂👌
The first story makes me sad. There are a lot of people who haven’t been scorned by the dating apps and social media frenzy… meaning there are still people who approach dating exactly the way he did. When I was 32, a man I knew from church invited me to a concert 2 1/2 weeks later (we didn’t have each others numbers, we’d never dated before) and I said yes. We started a full on relationship from that and got married 5 months later.
I’m not saying everyone has great dating experiences, but it’s not abnormal for people to make plans, follow through, and live happily ever after without all the dating rule drama. It’s more common than RUclips would like to have you believe.
@@personincognito3989 I completely agree. We’ve lost patience. It’s like this out of sight out of mind mentality where, in case something better comes along, our plans are tentative. I don’t approach life that way and my exposure to that has been minimal. Then again, we need to stop pretending we have millions of options just waiting for us. There is a reasonable community of people to choose from and we need to pick a good one and stop waiting for more to show up.
@@personincognito3989 it isn't insecurity to want that, in this day and age. When I was on the dating scene, I got stood up quite a few times, just because I went by the original plans and didn't think I needed it to be confirmed. After awhile, you get sick of wasting your time and feeling stupid. However, she could have reached out that morning to confirm.
You didn’t have his number is the key difference. This is the era of communication. It’s expected. Plans made with anyone get confirmed, especially if there has been no communication since the plan was made. Sister, friend, date whoever gets a “still on for tonight” text and a time confirmation. Things happen and plans change. I’m also extremely forgetful and have gone to the wrong place before 😂
@@personincognito3989exactly
Yeah, I think ppl forget a lot of older individuals are used to a completely different world when it comes to dating. A lot of this constant communication stuff is still relatively newish societally
Omg one of your best episodes to me. It made me laugh! 😂
The reply video to that first story and Charlotte's reaction really surprised me. I think he was justifiably annoyed by the situation. Why didn't the woman text him? She just hearted his "happy Friday" text, instead of replying. That was a clear opener that she didn't bother to take. He's better off without her.
Yep. He basically got attacked for being stood up.
it is pure entitlement. I don't mean based on gender, but in general. People nowadays feel entitled to arrange meetings (between friends, business, appointments with doctors) and go if they feel like it. While in the past due to the lack of phones and quick ways to cancel, people stuck with their word. If you did not turn up, you were classified as an untrustworthy person unless you had a really really good excuse. Nowadays you not only don't even need an excuse for not showing up, you can blame the other person for not having confirmed. WTF try that shit with a court appointment or a deadline for a loan. That will never fly. But for some reason we started to accept it in our personal lives.
Exactly! She never cancelled, he never cancelled. She pulled a no show. Maybe she forgot and just gaslighted him into thinking it was his fault. I think he dodged a toxic person.
@@denidale4701100%
I thought it was just a difference in expectations and an unwillingness to communicate. Instead of only responding with "I do what I say", especially if he was interested in seeing her, he could've just noted that she wanted confirmation and explained that he doesn't text a lot.She could have also texted him during the week, and then cancelled if he didn't text enough for her. Neither were willing to admit they were wrong or give it another shot. It's also possible she dealt with a lot of late dates in the past and had decided not to deal with it anymore. The silver living is that they are both adults and can decide to see people that they vibe with more
I am a gay man but child I can tell when a women would drive straight men wild and that last woman was a literal queen. Who the hell lucky enough to go on a date with her looking like that would ever say I want you to look like this instead. WHAT!?
I completely disagree with all the comebacks from the women, on the first one. They made a date; picked out a place and time; and he texted her the day of the date. You’re expecting way too much from him, without expecting her to do the same. She didn’t communicate well, and you’re all assuming she wasn’t the one that was flaking on purpose. Why? Very strange and hypocritical, imo.
Aww, dating is soooo hard on men... They literally risk their lives meeting strangers from the internet, and now they are also expected to confirm the date... Oh, wait, nevermind.
Agree
@@AnnafromHungarylvNWif dating is that scary, don’t date. I used to meet guys in a public place for like 1 hour max. If I liked them, we would arrange a second date. If there was no chemistry, byeeee!!
@@alamedadanceparty I'm happy in my long term relationship, thank you, and honestly, if I found myself single, I probably wouldn't date again.
Still, I 100% believe my relationship works because I found someone who actually cares about my experience as a woman and is willing to accomodate. He understands the inherent difficulties that come with being a woman in this day, and prioritizes me enough to make an effort to even our relationship.
I worry about women who don't recognize that part of what stands in the way of equality are inherent disadvantages that women face, and actual equality requires a level of compensation (=effort) from men. My opinion is that it's easier to find a good partner if you have high standards from the beginning.
@@AnnafromHungarylvNW I never said I didn’t have high standards. But if I liked someone and they asked me out, I would go on a date with them. If they guy asked me out and set the date and time, I would show up. If I was unsure, I would ask, “Are we still on for tonight?” It doesn’t seem like that big of a deal….? I’m married now, but speaking about when I was dating a few years ago. My general position is, less texting, more talking.
I DO NOT like the first guy calling her a “Bitch” in the context that was uncalled for. I think SHE Dodged a Bullet🤣
I think you missed it on the first one Charlotte. He doesnt know her either. He texted the morning of the date. If she wanted confirmation she should have asked for it instead of just expecting it. He treated her like an adult. She responded with an unspoken expectation which killed the whole possibility of a date.
Yeah. But his response video? Still massive red flags for him. She can’t communicate. He overreacts. Wouldn’t be a good mix anyway.
She just said based on her own experiences that no communication frequently meant a no show.
He ghosted her for a whole week, showed up late anyway, then called her a bitch.
@@swhitson9633did he ghost her? I don’t remember him saying she texted him at all in the week. It’s his job to initiate a conversation and not also hers?
@@swhitson9633 That's not what ghosting means, if she had send texts during the week and he did not respond, that would be ghosting. She didn't say anything to him either.
No confirmation needed. If you make a date with someone that's your confirmation. It's not a business appointment.
You ain’t my doctor’s office 😂😂😂
Agree!!!!
My worst first date was with a guy who took me to a sushi place and only ate rice. He lifted his buttcheek and farted on the waitress as she walked by thinking I’d laugh. Then he got super drunk and started crying and saying I was too good for him.
You win 😅
I would not do that😂
You were.
You were too good for him. I hope you ran like hell.
YIKES! That's a date from Hell, for sure!
For the first story, this applies to more than dating. When I've planned a park meet up with my friend and her kids, we always confirm the night before. Life gets in the way and you forget