bad dates that got exposed on tiktok - REACTION
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- Опубликовано: 30 сен 2024
- bad dates that got exposed on tiktok - REACTION
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Hey there, it's Charlotte Dobre, and in today's video, we're going to be talking about bad dates that got exposed on TikTok.
Let's face it, we've all been on bad dates before. Whether it's the person being rude, showing up late, or just being a plain old weirdo, bad dates are unfortunately a common occurrence.
But what happens when these bad dates get exposed on social media for the world to see? That's exactly what we're going to be discussing today.
We'll be taking a look at some of the most cringe-worthy dates that were shared on TikTok. From people being ghosted mid-date to others getting stood up completely, these are the stories that will make you want to cringe and laugh at the same time.
But it's not just about the bad dates themselves, it's about the aftermath. We'll be exploring how these videos went viral and what the reactions were like from both the public and the people involved.
So, grab some popcorn and get ready for some seriously cringe-worthy content. This video is going to be a wild ride. Don't forget to like and subscribe for more juicy stories like these.
#dates #exposed #tiktok #baddate #dating #datinghorrorstory #firstdate #charlottedobre #reaction #react #reactionchannel
If you want to submit a story anonymously, you can do so using the following links:
*DISCLAIMER* Due to a high volume of submissions, there is no guarantee that we will feature your story in a video. By submitting your story, you give me, Charlotte Dobre, the right to feature it in a video.
AITA - Where I decide if you're the AH or not ;) - bit.ly/3Wds7w6
Petty Revenge ! - bit.ly/3PwAUHl
Entitled People Stories - bit.ly/3FtDB83
Crazy Wedding Stories ! - bit.ly/3j1Xonu
Caught A Cheater ? - bit.ly/3FTyFuI
In-Laws From HELL ! - bit.ly/3YqjReg
Hi, I'm Charlotte Dobre. I'm an actor, reactor, singer and sometimes (not really) comedian. On this channel I do reactions, commentary and occasionally I make a joke or two. I love poking fun at social media, weddings, entitled people, tiktok and OF COURSE petty people. I upload daily, usually 7 days a week, unless life gets crazy or I get lazy. Come hang out, it's a good time.
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I usually agree with Charlotte but this first story was a bit annoying. If she wasn’t sure if the date was cancelled or not, why didn’t SHE reach out with a quick text like, ‘Hey, we still on for Friday?’ How old is this woman? I got the vibe that she wasn’t really interested in the first place and was looking for a reason to bail. He dodged a bullet imo. 8th grade level communication skills.
She dodged a major bullet herself. Dude is a major red flag.
You dont text date isnt on simple as that. No one is entitled to anyones time if they dont put the effort in, specialy a stranger´s
. Men lead in courtship, women follow if they are interested. He didint lead she couldnt follow even if she wanted to. Its called self respect.
@@montsetreserra3499oh but I thought women were independent and this wasn't the olden days anymore? A relationship works BOTH ways
I agree. But then I have anxiety, so I would be scared about missing something. But I would message if its still on and if that scares them off, then I guess I don't need him.
Same, but it's not an age thing my partner and I (age 25) both agree that if she needs a confirmation she should have texted him it seems ridiculous saying that he made the date so he needs to confirm, your the one that needed it he can't read your mind and know you need this because your a stranger. He made the first move maybe she should reciprocate.
On the first story, this is definitely a misunderstanding based on a huge change in dating protocols over the generations. I'm in my 50s (been married for more than 25yr, so haven't been in this new dating scene at all). Back in my youth, if you made a date for Friday it was assumed that agreeing to the date was your "confirmation" and not only did you not call during the week to re-confirm if you did (especially the guy) it was seen as a needy, clingy or at worst "controlling" move and would be perceived as a huge red flag.
Me too. Re the confirmation part.
Heck, I still sometimes leave my phone in the house, when I go out. I regret it but not enough to go back.
its a diferrent protocol because people were more serious about their word then, it isnt the case now sadly.
@@ammnoydb4015 Yeah, back when I was dating I had to leave my phone at home ... because that's where it was plugged into the wall :p
Yes i agree, also: 25 years ago if someone asked you out he/she had to come to you and ask in person for a date, in this way you could value the effective interest of that person; now it's all done by an app and you've never seen each other before, that's why this new etiquette exist/is needed (there are a lot of trolls and catfish)
@@montsetreserra3499 Yes, I think that's part of it, but also people today have way more communications technology at their disposal than we did back then. I had a land line and an answering machine, there was no way to get ahold of each other easily most of the time so we didn't expect to.
When I was online dating, I matched with a guy and after chatting a bit he asked if I wanted to go out for dinner/drinks. I agreed. He asked for my address so he could pick me up. I very politely declined the pickup and said I would meet him there (I’m female - driving myself gives me a sense of security in many ways). He didn’t respond. After a few hours I texted and said “We meeting?” He responded “You wouldn’t let me pick you up so I assumed then that you would stand me up. So I am preempting that and cancelling the date.” That was wild to me. I’m sorry if you’ve been stood up by other women, but my wanting to drive myself and not give a stranger my address for safety reasons isn’t something I’m going to compromise for your bruised ego.
You were absolutley right in not giving your address to a stranger, and his risponse is a big red flag for me, the world is not a kind place and being a woman is more dangerous for us in many ways, so you were right in following your instinct
You made the right choice. Anyone that doesn't understand why you won't give out an address is a major red flag and likely dangerous.
Yeah thats crazy, Sounds like you dodged a bullet, honestly. Who gets mad that he can't get a strange woman alone in his car?
If he just wanted to get a strange woman in his car, there are plenty of them on certain streets in my city. And dating them costs a lot less than dinner.
Maybe not even about an ego...
Maybe he really did have bad intentions and since he couldn't get you in his car, then there was no reason for a "date" any longer!
She originally offered to pay her share but as soon as he knew he wasn’t getting anywhere his attitude changed big time 😂😂
Yep, exactly. He realized that covering her dinner was not leverage for him to get laid. Why should she have compromised
her principles and safety by letting a man she barely knew get access to her hotel room??? If those were his expectations, he could have been honest before agreeing to go out.
With the amount of men that think paying for a dinner gets them sex, perhaps regulated prostitution should be legalized, that way when these men look at you before the bill comes to ask if they can walk you to your room, you can give them directions to the nearest brothel instead.
She didn't offer until AFTER he asked to ealk,her to her room and she was full throttle insulting him. She thought she could guilt him into paying anyway by telling him she was suddenly prepared to pay herself when before she said nothing of the sort.
@@shaunofthedead3000 if he wanted transactional sex, he should have gone looking for a hooker, rather than ask a woman on a date.
If she had such a problem paying she would have kept insisting instead of offering to pay her share.
Usually when one person asks another on a date, they should be the one to pay, or at least clarify in the beginning that each person will cover their own expenses. If I asked a man or woman out to dinner or an event, I'd have no problem paying for both of us. But then again, I'm not thinking of the amount I spend on their meal to mean I can get sex from them, as if they OWE me for that.
@@shaunofthedead3000 You weren't exactly paying attention because she literally started by saying "Well I really appreciate it, should I pay for my half or....?". Yes, she could of just stated flat out "I'm paying for my half" but she did start off by offering to cover her half of the bill.
The second story was really gross. She lifted to split and pay her way, but he's like, "I got it".
But when she doesn't let him walk her to room.. he flips the script. What a loser.
Scary, and definitely a red flag. He should understand that it’s a scary world out there for women, even if he’s not a “scary guy”. No true gentleman would take offense.
@@kiwik2951 I would argue no modern woman would accept a stranger paying for something if they werent into them. Hell most guys actually love it when a woman offers to pay for her share, big green flag right there.
Charlotte has the right of it here, if you aren't into someone you don't accept gifts from them and if you do you then you know exactly why you are (basically taking advantage of their attraction to you.) Pretending to be naive about it is not an excuse in this modern day and age and dudes are becoming hyper aware of this fact.
Ladies you have money, put in the effort, take the initative and stop thinking "oh my time is much more valuable than his is.... I should be paid for gracing him with my presence" coz it doesn't wash now. You wont but another woman will and she is the prize guys are looking for.
@@under-dog5390to save men like you all that hassle why not just ask her if she will sleep with you for a plate of food and see what she says or be up front and say let's split the bill, don't even offer to pay. Men say and do whatever it takes to increase their chances of getting sex hence why most women aren't trusting for the first couple of dates. I don't get why you call it a gift cos the last I checked gifts don't come with so many strings attached. Men want sex after spending a little bit of money but even a working prostitute charges more for sex than a plate of food. Men don't want to visit a prostitute and have that transactional sex they expect cos they don't like the idea of every man being in her and they like the feeling of conquest over getting women that aren't prostitutes to sleep with them. But what kinda world would we live in if you teach your daughters to sleep with every guy that offers her a plate of food. The way I see it if the man is asking her out on the date then let him pay, women spend more of their lives rejecting random strange men than accepting them.if they even said yes to a date it shows interest, otherwise women will be out accepting every offer that comes their way only for a measly plate of food and women AREN'T DOING THAT😂 If women were that hungry, we could log onto any dating app and within the hour have more than 100 messages come flooding in and start sending out request for free food like a beggar. You think you are competing with other men but in reality, the modern world has kinda given women almost every single tool for her to live happily without a man so you are in actually competing with her peace as a single woman cos so many of these men act so ...... 🙄
A man paying for a date is not unconditional. If he feels he's being used by someone not interested, then he's right to not pay for both.
He 'flips the script' because he's not there just to talk. If the girl doesn't want to put out, then he has no reason to get into her good books and has no incentive to pay if there's nothing in it for him. Girls should just not accept a date from someone they aren't feeling
I don't think the words "Kardashian" and "natural" can even belong in the same sentence.
😂😂😂
It's natural to assume anything related to a Kardashian is fake. 👍
@@AshendrisSilvermist accepts the challenge and then proceeds to nail it! Well played!
Definitely oxymorons
And girl was gorgeous too like literally has the figure a lot of us would kill for
I completely agree with Charlotte. If you're not feeling the date, pay and leave. It will avoid any animosity or expectations.
yeah but like he says he is going to pay then like right after not skiping a beat saying your going to leave. its kinda impolite. you gotta like wait a few moments. thank him maybe chat for a moment then leave not just "ok your paying thank you byeeee" nah not cool. i get it you are not interested and dont want to lead him on but that quick from A to B is a tad impolite. time stamp 8:10 if thats not the one you are talking about. ops my bad....
Yeah : pay your bill and just answer "no, thank you, goodbye". And guys... plz... if you have fun on the diner, no matter the end... chill... it was a good experience, keep it like it
How about accountability? You wanted the date you pay. Who ever invites pays. Its just the respectful thing to do. However, he or she who accepts the invite should only accept if they are genuinly interested, if it doesnt go well afterwards its OKAY, its not the end of the world if you invite within your means. But if youre inviting someone who doesnt show excitement or interest in getting to know you and the date doesnt go well afterwards its on you. Men need to grow a pair and be responsable about the desicions that they take, honestly. And then they want to generalize and blame all womena and make the rest of us pay for their insecuritys with past women whom THEY chose to date? A lot of bitching and whining. No wonder.
Oh he's still gonna be a 🍆 because he was rejected!!!
@@snowfroten5406 I mean she literally asked him and thanked him when he said he'll pay, that's the polite thing to do. Wanting to be a people pleaser by engaging in superficial conversation after would probs just hammer home his entitlement towards her and doesn't exactly have something to do with politeness.
the boomerita guy. i would definitely give him another date, thats adorable. like golden retriever energy.
Plus, he didn't claim to be a connaisseur. He just said that he typically drank/liked cocktails.
Yeah, clearly he's not an alcoholic.
Depends on the rest of the vibes he gives, but would recommend a cocktail bar, I guess?
Right! I didn’t understood the attitude about his drink choices
Preferring cocktails over beer would be such a green flag to me. I hate beer lol.
Bad dates are hilariously great - when they happen to other people. 🥴🙈
☺️☺️☺️
Yaaaassssss
Absolutely right 😂😂😂❤
@@maryamzrk9456:50
My now husband’s credit card declined on the first date. He was so embarrassed. He had his bank card and paid with that. (After I offered to cover it!) I thought “I have my own money. It’s ok if he’s a bit strapped”. So we continued to date. I later found out he literally hates debt. Everything he owns is paid outright and refused to have his credit card limit raise above $200. Twelve years later and I’m so in love with him. He balances my spending habits! Don’t be too quick to judge.
I’ve been married over 30 yrs, I told him when we got married if he wants to make sure we have money, he needs to be in charge of the money. I was a stay at home mom & he will be able to retire in 2025. We have no debts. We pay cash for our vehicles, house was paid off 10 years ago, & we will be very comfortable when he retires. Our 1st date was a blind double date. We both lived at our parents until the day we said I Do! We are very “Old School” I know, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. We are in our 50’s & we are happy❣️
This might be an unpopular opinion but what happened to accountability? If im asked on a date for friday I put on my schedule Friday Date Night. If something comes up that prevents me from going then I reach out and say “hey, xyz happened can we reschedule.” If you require being asked multiple times if you are still free for a date I would be so happy to have dodged that bullet. Am I also going to have to reconfirm multiple times for everything we do? Sounds exhausting, id prefer to be with someone that can communicate properly and be responsible for their own time and activities.
Totally agree.
Yes! When did people become such flowers. We make plans. Great Ill see you then I don't need confirmation 3 times!
He ghosted her for a whole week. She didn't say she expected him to ask her if she's still free multiple times lol, she just expected him to remain in contact. If someone ghosted me for a week I'd assume they didn't want to see me anymore too.
@@Ktakahashi18No one said anything about asking "3 times". But if someone ghosts you for a week it's fair to assume they're no longer interested. I'd definitely make different plans after being ghosted for a week.
@@swhitson9633But if he didn't message her, then why didn't she message him first to ask if they are still on or at least start a conversation with him during the week?
If the sin is poor communication, then aren't they both guilty of being poor at it?
The girl whose date brought another woman to the date: he was looking for a trifecta. Happened to me a million years ago. I was like nope, excused myself and just laughed all the way to my car.
The guy in the restaurant, if he got that upset in public, imagine what could have happened if she had let him walk her to her room then said he wasn’t coming in!…..Yikes!
Yeah, his reaction to not getting what he expected was very telling.
@Blondie77128 100%
He wanted to pay all the way up until he realized he wasn't going to get his dick wet. Then he accuses her of using him for a free meal, when he was fully expecting to use her as a discounted prostitute.
Typical "nice guy" behavior 🙄
he's deranged: she clearly offered to pay her meal - 15 secs later he says she wanted a free meal; his brain doesn't work
He was givin "predator vibes"!
Exactly
I went out on a date with a guy I met on a dating app. He talked a lot over dinner about things he'd done recently, including going out dancing, with his brother. Then he looked me dead in the eye and said. "I do everything with my brother." *pause* "Everything." I kept it together for the rest of the evening, paid for dinner, got the hell out of there, and ended contact.
About a year later he late night texted me and invited me to a threesome with him and his girlfriend. I was a little tempted to ask why his brother wasn't available but I just said no and blocked him.
🤣🤣
"Then what do you need me for?" may have been a good response in the moment.
I'm dead. Call the mourners, pick my casket and slap the coins on my eyes! That story is WILD!!
Plot twist his brother is also his girlfriend.
Oh, you should've asked !! xD
As a female, I would have had no idea it needed to be confirmed, plus him saying happy Friday and her giving some response at least confirms there's been no ghosting
he didn't text, "looking forward to our pizza this evening."
@@trains889 exactly!! guys always said that "we can't read your mind, so speak up", so please go by that logic, "set a date/appointment, then confirm the date" simple as that, Women can not read, man's mind too
@@wellknown1204 Both of them agreed days earlier to have a date on Friday - appointment set and confirmed right there. It was on both of them to mark their calendars on that date. He definitely did, her? Maybe, maybe not. But assuming she did, why would she think it's not set when they already agreed to go days earlier? Assuming she didn't mark it on her calendar, why the hell not? That's clear failure of communication on her part.
@@wellknown1204 What? They agreed to the date and nothing changed for him? So it should be clear that they will meet on Friday? You don't need to read minds, just your chat in this case.
@@wellknown1204 He did speak up Date, time and place. That was it job done, text her friday morning to, at that point why does he need to confirm more? He already knew when and where they were meeting, he communicated his situation and intentions very clearly from the start, she was the one that didn't. There was literally nothing to mind read on her side, he'd communicated perfectly.
"It's a bad date because he likes a $7 cocktail " tells me more about her than it does about him
Last woman was far more stunning than Kim and he has the audacity to say shit like that???
Plus he was talking to her in real life, not just talking to her picture online. That woman is beautiful and real, not Kim and her fake enhancements!
I was looking at that absolutely stunning woman and thinking who is this crazy man who thinks she needs to change her looks! Her body, her skin, her voice, HER HAIR! WOW
The man who scared this goddess off needs therapy. Get a psychiatrist on speed dial quickly.
Right? That woman is absolutely STUN-NING!
That guy is delulu. No woman will ever be "good enough" for him!
Speaking of daiquirry, I took a friend to a Mexican restaurant for her birthday. We ordered drinks and appetizers, and as the server was about to walk away with our orders, she called him back to make a substitution request. She said, and I quote, "I want cheese on my nachos not that queso stuff." The server looked very confused, and I later explained to my friend that queso is the Spanish word for cheese.
Wait how did the server interpret that request then?? “I want cheese, not cheese.” ???
Oh my god 😂
@@salamanda11 personally id interpret the situation as shes an idiot who doesnt know how to properly ask for shredded cheese.
😄
Oh Lordy! This is a subject that I think all of us have experienced at one time or another... The Bad Date.
Circa 1979, I went out with a guy who seemed like a country bumpkin, but I was okay with that. I have relatives in Texas and Oklahoma that I adore who are very much "country-folk".
He took me to a very nice restaurant but I think it might have been his first time in such an establishment.
He was suspicious of the salad, the first course, and exclaimed (loudly), "They put cornbread on my salad! Why did they put CORNBREAD on the salad??" He was talking about croutons. I thought he was making a joke so I laughed. He wasn't joking.
He paid the check and I didn't notice that he only left 32 cents for the tip, under his dirty napkin and on his dirty plate. This was the kind of restaurant with white table cloths, a maître d, wine steward, sous chef, etc. Our waiter (who had been excellent) followed us out to the parking lot, threw that 32 cents at my date and told him, "You obviously need this money more than I do! Go buy yourself some class!"
I was so embarrassed!
While usually I agree with you Charlotte, the first one is a big fat nope for me. Just no. Like is this an American/Canadian thing? If your plans fall through it's on YOU to warn the other person, not on the other person to confirm that you're not by any chance a big irresponsible baby incapable of informing them that something else came up. Besides, why didn't SHE confirm or text him during the week?
i'm with you.
Sound logic. The person who can’t make it must do the responsible thing and ask to reschedule
@@alexia2189 If communicating doesn't help, why is his kind of communication such a douche move?
He did check in on her in the morning, he did tell her he was running a little late. That is communicating.
She cancelled without telling him, that's a lack of communication.
I agree. Communication is a two way street.
I'm with you too... The second woman commenting on it is annoying... Why are we "assuming" things? Just ask! We wanted equality between women and men, so take responsibility as well and don't "assume"
Ps: a woman in her 30s
I feel like the confirmation could be as easy as “can’t wait to see you tonight! Or something like that. That lets them know you’re still planning on the date without being super clingy and needy.
I think the happy Friday text was enough. What else would make just another Friday a happy one?
@@angelamurphy6233 I mean, it should be. I would show up unless I was told otherwise. But I’m old.
@@Kmb33831 youre not old, you're a normal thinking person
It’s so stupid they both agreed to go on the date that’s your confirmation. Why do you need to text her on the days leading up to it. You both dont know each other it comes off as her being clingy that she needs to hear from him. Just wait until the date you both agreed on. Plus if she was concerned send him a text like woman are lazy it pisses me off.
@@ryans413 as a woman, I agree with everything you said. If I make plans with someone I’m planning on that. It’s immature to need constant confirmations of plans that were agreed upon over text.
But like you pointed out-if she wasn’t sure she could’ve texted him and said “can’t wait for dinner tonight” and then when he put a thumbs up on it that’s the confirmation. Or whatever. But for plans made on like Tuesday you shouldn’t need to confirm on Friday. Plans made a week or more out I could see double checking-but like-don’t be made if THEY don’t double check. Again. If you feel insecure-send a text. It’s not that hard.
But she did him a favor anyways. She sounds awful. 😝
The first story I firmly believe the woman is at fault on this. It sounds like she didn't message him throughout the week, meaning he didn't reach out to her throughout the week to randomly message her. Then, on the day of their date, he messaged her "happy friday". If they made plans for Friday, and this guy messaged her ON Friday, that's a good sign he's still planning to meet up with her. If she didn't know the date was still going on, SHE should have asked after he reached out. Instead, she said nothing and then blamed him for not confirming the date for her.
Yes, thank you! I didn't understand why the guy got blamed, when he wrote her and she just responded with emoji. If anything her silence would not make me want to look annoying with many messages. I think the guy did a very reasonable steps from his side
so true, she was completely at fault, she should have messaged but she chose not to
Exactly my thoughts!
Completely agree. Why is all the pressure on him? I would have definitely said I’m looking forward to seeing you this evening in response to his happy Friday.
I found it funny i did make a dinner date with 2 week's notice and i did not confirm it at all and both of us did show up .... that's called respecting other peoples time ,and to be honest this its totally on her
Big disagree with the first story. If you have a set date, then you should assume you are still going on the date. People are busy during the work week, so some people don’t text that much during the week. If she was worried that she wasn’t getting any texts from him, she could have confirmed. I think the assumption that the date was canceled because he wasn’t chatty with her seems ridiculous to me. It feels so entitled. Communication goes both ways as well.
I did not want to use the word "entitled", but it has most certainly crossed my mind!
You say that, but honestly the amount of times guys ask me out for set day and time and then I never hear from them again is astounding, so I kinda ge it. I stopped chasing cos it's disheartening, like Charlotte says I give back the same energy, if they're messaging I'm messaging back, but honestly if the guy doesn't message me for 2 days after he asked me out the date is cancelled, this guy was an exception. I never had a situation where ha magically appeared and I stood them out by accident.
Yes I think entitled or just pessimistic in thinking he’s just not interested. I’d go with what was planned and prob leave after 15 mins if he didn’t send that message.
Agreed. I was coming down to the comments to say this.
It's been a long time since I was in the dating world, and cell phones weren't as "popular" as a method of communication like they are now. That being said.....if I didn't hear from the guy in a few days, I would have contacted him just to confirm. But this was 20 years ago. LMAO. I am happily married now.
I hard disagree with Charlotte when it comes to the first story. If you make plans you stick to those plans. If something happens and you need to change your plans that's fine but it falls on whoever is changing the plans to say something. His plans hadn't changed. He stuck with them. This is entirely on the girl who can't follow basic plans.
Yikes
She has a different communication style he is butthurt n shitting on her communication style. If U don't just say have a great day. Then you're probably dead.
Thank you!!!! Man........I came here to say the same! Hate the entitlement of some folks🙄 is it an age thing?
It’s also only two days or three before. Not like a week.
True I would just text him the day of and say something like can't wait for tonight to make sure if I wasn't sure
@@alyssapower5823 exactly! If she had any concerns she should have said something.
I’m not a cocktail connoisseur by any means but if imma drink I either want a Painkiller from Cheddars or an alcohol infused blueberry lavender lemonade from Outback! 😅
Both people waiting for the other to initiate an interaction is likely the reason why 70% of plans fall through. 😂
Exactly 💯
💯💯💯 this! He did text her that morning, she could have said something then & chose not to.
@@kimberlytl6127he also could have shown up on time for the date......how does he know she wasn't there on time and when she got the text saying grab a table (meaning the time for the date had already arrived) that he was still going to be 5-10 minutes late, she might have left....some people punctuality (or lack thereof) is a deal-breaker
@@SoManyRandomRamblings life is gonna life & sometimes it causes people to run late. If that was her deal breaker, then she should have said that when he called instead of what she did.
Exactly! No second confirmation should have been needed! They made a plan and she should have stuck to said plan!
With the first one, there was obviously a misunderstanding about dating etiquette. If I were the woman he was going on a date with, I probably would've texted to confirm the day of if I wasn't sure we were still on. I think both of them acted inappropriately, her for not even checking to attend, and him for calling her out of her name after. They both could've handled this better with better communication.
He didn't show enough interest, so there was nothing there for her to have interest in. It only makes sense to confirm if you're interested. Otherwise, if they haven't said anything just walk away and move on with your life. However, if he didn't interact all week or whatever and tried to confirm the day of, she 100% should've said she wants to cancel. She might've done that, if he tried to confirm. She wasn't interested, so no reason for confirmation. He didn't confirm, so it's reasonable to think he might not have been interested. That's the logic there. It doesn't matter if you have interest if you do not express said interest.
@Mika He didn’t show enough interest by what standard? He talked to her, he chatted, he set a time and a place, she confirmed it. He then, day of, messaged her, she hearted his comment/text.
That is confirmation.
Did he need to send a carrier pigeon? Hold her hand to the place? Make a secret handshake.
She can be wrong. Men don’t always have to be bad.
Reverse the genders and tell me how he was wrong for telling her they have to reschedule? Despite wasting her entire evening.
@nwj03a By very minimal standards. Someone could plan an entire, exciting day and bring flowers or some other gift. They can put a ton of effort like creating a playlist, a scavengerhunt, etc. Someone could make chocolates. Pay for the entire thing. There is so much someone *could* do, but it isn't necessary. Interacting with someone consistently in a reasonable manner is bare minimum. It's just texting. Super easy. Not a phone call or anything like that. If someone looking in your general direction or a "hey" is enough to earn your interest, I suppose that's a win for you both. It isn't enough for most women, I feel. I know I can, and do, better than that. Why would I go on a date with someone who doesn't talk with me when I could have alone time or meet up with someone who actually interacts with me consistently? Emotionally stable and independent women have no reason to downgrade from being single and happy to giving up their enjoyable time to someone who doesn't even hold a conversation when they claimed to have enough interest for a date. I assume she tried maintaining a conversation and he just doesn't do that. And instead of saying it he probably just let every one of her attempts quickly fizzle out. I've met a lot of online guys like that. Many people already have better than that.
And if the roles were reversed it would not matter. If she asked him out on a date, he tried to maintain conversation after the initial agreement, she fizzled out, didn't act at all as if you're worth her time, and didn't even bring up the date the day of he absolutely should not have interest in meeting with her and it'd be on her to express interest.
@@mikamagnol8931to be honest if she was interested she could have easily reached out to him instead of the other way around and he said they already confirmed it so there's that and also she could have asked if she wasn't sure instead of just straight up not showing up
If the girl in the first one wanted another confirmation, she should have asked! "hey, are we still meeting tonight at the pizza place?" ...is that so hard? He didn't ghost her, he texted "happy friday" on that morning! NTA
Just _assuming_ that your date won't show up just because they didn't confirm _a second time_ and therefore not showing up yourself is the real a-hole move!
Agree!! She totally stood him up. That was a b*tch move.
I agree. The woman was in the wrong here.
I agree. The problem is there isn't a general consensus AND people these days act like their social rules are the norm and anything else is crazy.
@@nikkita1688 general consensus is rare on anything nowadays because humans are complex and there are many variables that can affect things.
This
When I was 20 I went on a date with a 30 year old guy who wore ridiculously long white socks with black shoes (and tan cargo shorts) with a tucked-in striped polo shirt, he topped it all off with a phone clip clipped to his belt.
He definitely gave off 45 year old Barbecue Dad vibes. I was a little taken aback at first 😂
We ended up having a great time and have been married now for 10 years with 4 kids 🥰😆
Unexpectedly wholesome! 🥰 Good for you, babes!
The guy in the first story did text her on Friday. The girl that responded said he NEVER contacted her. That was FALSE. I don't think he was wrong. No one should assume he isn't going to show up.
Didn't he text her before the date telling her he'll be late? Like it wasn't a morning confirmation but a sorry I'll be late (which is not okay in my book you should manage your time properly for any appointment unless shit happens, always leave early).
@@viviennart He texted her "Happy Friday". I agree it wasn't much, but he wouldn't have contacted her at all, if he was going to stand her up.
Yeah, if she was unsure she could have just asked.
Whoever plans the date has to confirm. That's the normal thing to do. If I set a date, which I'm normally the one who always does, I always make sure I confirm at least the day before. It's common knowledge. The person who sets the date always confirms.
I agreed with him, until he called her a B.
the first one is pretty clear for me, if (constant) communication/texting is important to you, tell it... if it's absolutely not, there is no way telling someone all things you don't do, so that's the woman's job in this scenario.. being passive aggressive and expect a stranger to read your mind is just.. well... a waste of time..
(added from my later comment here too to make clear I don't agree on what he said about her or even said etc)
it's just a bit logical in my opinion.. if he thought everything is alright, there is nothing to discuss.. I agree on showing interest is very important but all he said sounds for me like a very early stage, like even before getting to know each other (just a speculation because we don't really know).... so if she thinks/feels like nothing is alright she has to talk about her needs and if he's not the right for those needs it's all good.. so saying that this woman should speak up actively was not meant as self hate at all.. what he said and did afterwards in that tiktok is a different story and just shows its not true when he says he's grown up :-D
I also totally agree on the confirmation, same thing... SHE doesn't know (yet) that you do what you said.. things can go wrong anyway though
@Cara84de then she should have confirmed. He did text her on Friday. She could have taken the time to ask him. I would have.
Besides, he texted her the morning of to say Happy Friday and she did not reply, just hearted the text. So he believed all was good.
I agree...the woman could have texted during the week to make sure they were still a go...relationships are a TWO way street....BOTH people need to contribute and since SHE couldnt be bothered to text him its obvious to ME that she wasnt all that interested in meeting...he is NOT the AH
He gives total douche vibes she didn't mess anything up 😅
This is one of the few times I disagree with Charlotte. They made the date on the Tuesday, for the Friday, (3 days!) then he sends her a cute little message on the friday, which she responds to, but that's not enough confirmation for her? He even let her know he was going to be a teeny bit late, but she's just like 'you know what? This guy isn't putting enough effort in'. If his low level of texting her was a deal breaker, why didnt she cancel the date after his morning text? Or even before that? Did she cancel because he was going to be late?
If she wanted confirmation, why didn't she ask him if the date was still on? It's 2023, women are allowed to do that sort of thing.
It sounds like she wasn't planning on showing up anyway. Usually people say they're gonna be late pretty close to the meet-up time. So her not even being there after only a few minutes makes me assume she never even bothered to get ready...
Agreed
@@TyLeeslilsisShe wasn't there at all.
Agreed - that's what I heard, sorted date on Tuesday, for three days later. It's on, unless someone says it's not.
Absolutely! God forbidhe doesn't text for a couple days. He must hate you and want to cancel lol
I've been in the restaurant/bar industry for a while & I promise you for the most part once you know who your server is, if you ask them to split the bill (this can easily be done if you get there early or at any time excuse yourself to the bathroom (after you order is always a good time) & ask the host to speak to your server quickly if you don't see them) and ask them to ensure you get your half of the bill no matter what the other one says, unless you confirm they are paying the full (per YOUR comfort on allowing them to do so). The systems are set up so it's easy to combine a check or split it but advance notice helps. Most servers you come across will be happy to do this especially for a first date situation.
What kind of an A hole wants to split a check on a date they were asked on????!! The person asking the other person out, pays! That's common courtesy. I guess common sense and manners have flown out the window. Ladies need to start expecting more from men, and respecting themselves enough to know they are worth a dinner! Stop lowering the standards for women that want to be treated like ladies! If you wanna be the man in the relationship, go ahead and pay, but don't complain later when they treat you like a dude, and take advantage!
Over 10 years ago, I had a date with a guy who asked me out for a second date. He confirmed twice in the days leading up to the date. Since the date involved getting tickets, I was surprised that I hadn’t received a final confirmation of the night before the event. So I texted him to verify the time. He responded that he was too sick to go and wanted a rain check. I never heard from him again. Later I found out through a mutual acquaintance that he took another girl.
Because thats what they do..
Not to mention if he doesn't bother to communicate whole week than why bother to begin with...
Exactly. As you don't know the other person actually anything can happen. So you have to confirm. Plus if he puts so little effort so soon, imagine after a year into the relationship
that's pretty crappy
I mean would she rather him be high maintenance and give a margarita with top shelf ingredients lol! I mean he sounded humble and honest to admit he loves cocktails instead of beer! Ohhh and don’t knock Outback Steakhouse 😂 they actually have pretty awesome drinks and food! 👍🏼🫣
He confirmed twice what a ass like why 😅
Sorry Charlotte, I disagree with the over 40 guy dating. I am over 40, so dating has been a while for me, 20 years ago when you set a date, it was a date. He sent her a happy Friday message, enough to let her know he was excited about the date. The rules have obviously changed and am sad the guy got so much backlash, however, have some respect and don't call a girl a b* on social media, that is not ok.
Nowadays, that's an expression, not a swear word.
ikr the "bitch" took me out like...thats not a sign of the "maturity" he talks abt
If she was a young woman that logic is not valid. I am in my 20s and if the guy that set up the date does not communicate with me the entire week I'll see it as rude and a proof of disinterest, and whats more as totaly obvious that the date is canceled. We live in an age of fast communication when you can reach someone anytime, anywhere, whenever via phone or text. There is no excuse for not talking to your partner for an entire week .
@@purple66666 I don’t see why you should communicate. As they all have said, they’re strangers, and want to meet up for a date. That’s the best time to communicate. That way, you don’t set any expectations, or feelings, and start the date neutral. And ALSO he DID say “happy friday” which was communication. And why is he the ONLY one who has to put in the effort? Why didn’t she? Double standards.
I wouldn't know that you are supposed to confirm either, but using the b* word does explain why he is still single. The question is: how old was she? Because if she was over 40 then I think she would not have expected a confirmation. Younger people however are used to communicate more, so I'd say she was probably younger, in which case it's best that they didn't meet.
That second guy was the worst!! Just because he paid for her meal does not automatically mean he gets “more”. He was a creep and had an attitude because she denied him access to her room. Who does he think he is!?
It's like these guys pay just for the sake of seeing how a woman will react to their advances, and if she doesn't react the way they want, use that as an excuse to act bitter and make assumptions about her just because she doesn't want to sleep with him on the first date.
@@Ang36914 Right!! You hit the nail on the head!
It's disgusting. The cost of dinner can couldn't get a professional a call girl, much less full on -ex!!! Maybe from a strung out crackhead in a dark alley, but that's it. I wouldn't let any stranger walk me to my room...
You ever see the Key and Peele sketch where they’re texting and one of them thinks they’re about to fight and the other thinks they’re going out for a beer? Same energy as the first video.
After hearing these stories I have never been more happily married 😂😂😂
Me too. Dating today is complicated.
Okay!!!!😌
I completely disagree with all the comebacks from the women, on the first one. They made a date; picked out a place and time; and he texted her the day of the date. You’re expecting way too much from him, without expecting her to do the same. She didn’t communicate well, and you’re all assuming she wasn’t the one that was flaking on purpose. Why? Very strange and hypocritical, imo.
Aww, dating is soooo hard on men... They literally risk their lives meeting strangers from the internet, and now they are also expected to confirm the date... Oh, wait, nevermind.
Agree
@@AnnafromHungarylvNWif dating is that scary, don’t date. I used to meet guys in a public place for like 1 hour max. If I liked them, we would arrange a second date. If there was no chemistry, byeeee!!
@@alamedadanceparty I'm happy in my long term relationship, thank you, and honestly, if I found myself single, I probably wouldn't date again.
Still, I 100% believe my relationship works because I found someone who actually cares about my experience as a woman and is willing to accomodate. He understands the inherent difficulties that come with being a woman in this day, and prioritizes me enough to make an effort to even our relationship.
I worry about women who don't recognize that part of what stands in the way of equality are inherent disadvantages that women face, and actual equality requires a level of compensation (=effort) from men. My opinion is that it's easier to find a good partner if you have high standards from the beginning.
@@AnnafromHungarylvNW I never said I didn’t have high standards. But if I liked someone and they asked me out, I would go on a date with them. If they guy asked me out and set the date and time, I would show up. If I was unsure, I would ask, “Are we still on for tonight?” It doesn’t seem like that big of a deal….? I’m married now, but speaking about when I was dating a few years ago. My general position is, less texting, more talking.
Two adults made a date and he was the only one responsible enough to actually show up. He shouldn't have to babysit her and ask if she still plans to keep the date they already agreed on or not.
Let me clear things up, I do agree with some of your points but some women or men want to be confirmed again to make sure your not gonna get stood up by the person asking you out
Unless something is said that it's NOT happening, I assume it's happening. Getting a "Happy Friday" is actually a nice reminder imo without putting extra pressure on her.
...idk. I guess I like being on my own too much that constant conversation IS creepy and clingy to me. I would rather talk in person than in text with someone I don't know too.
She could've and should've reached out if she was unsure if the date was still on. Men often think differently in these situations.
@@TyLeeslilsis "Happy Friday" isn't a confirmation. It's a Saluttion. If he had at least texted "Happy Friday" I would have responded with a bit more than just a heart emoji. Maybe a question: "Oh, are we still on tonight?" Or something similarr.
He made the date, and I agree with Charlotte on this, he should have put in the effort to confirm. No confirmation = No interest and I've made other plans.
@@TheJustineCredible He said "Happy Friday." Their date was for Friday. THAT is a reminder. There was no word that they were cancelling until she decided to not show up at all. You've got a phone. You can ask too if you need a secondary confirmation. People don't know what you don't tell them.
People don't generally say they're gonna be late hours before. They say it when they're on their way. She wasn't even there. I'm under the assumption she never intended to be there if her only response was one with an attitude.
Especially on a first date, one of them NEEDS to confirm.
This is ridiculous. Nothing stopped her from confirming either.
100%. However, I would never care to confirm (or go) if the guy didn't communicate consistently throughout the time of meeting and the time of the date. I personally have no problem with being the one to confirm (no idea about the girl he spoke of in the vid), but why would I spend time with this guy who merely asked me out on a date and didn't have the time and/ or interest in communicating with me, when I could instead have "me" time or hang out with people who actually talk with me consistently? I'm not low on interest of others. And I don't need a relationship. What reason would an emotionally stable, independent woman have to meet with a guy who either didn't want to text her or doesn't have the time? There are better things we can be doing. It's so easy to have more than that, so why settle?
@Mika So the man has to confirm? Other than hearting his good morning the day of the date (that she agreed to attend).
She has no obligation at all? Your preference is irrelevant to what happened. He asked (burden on man), she confirmed, he texted morning of (burden on man), she confirmed with a heart emoji.
He did everything and she responded. If you want more communication, ask for it. Men are not mind readers.
@nwj03a If he was interested after not showing interest, yes. Someone who is interested should be confirming. I'm saying it makes sense that she wouldn't be interested, so that would be why she wasn't the one to confirm in this case. He didn't show interest, so there was no reason to believe the date would actually happen, or should happen.
@@mikamagnol8931 "emotionally stable, independent woman" You seem obsessed by this. It has nothing to do with the story, yet you seem to want to tell the world something about yourself.. isn't it.
One of the better things is to show basic respect to the fellow human being if you decide not to show up for a date set 2 days earlier... TWO DAYS. How much "interest" is a person required to show within that timeframe exactly? Is that supposed to be some form of foreplay or something? They are strangers, they'll get to meet in two days and talk all they want.
Again, TWO DAYS. And why is the burden of communication laid upon his shoulders? Is the independent woman not capable of texting herself? Like for example to say she wasn't going to be there on the date?
You're not the center of the universe. Nobody is.
@@mikamagnol8931 Girl, it was _two days_ that they went without speaking, and I didn't see her reach out during that time, either. So why is only he to blame for "lack of interest" (which is stupid because I'm sure both of them were a-okay with two days of not speaking to someone they hadn't even met yet) and not her?
For the first story, I don’t think he was in the wrong aside from his reaction and calling her a b****. There were only 2/3 days in between setting the date and the actual date and I fully agree that you don’t need to be texting in between that time especially because he DID text her Friday (day of) and she didn’t respond. So if SHE needed the confirmation then she should’ve responded with a quick “we still on for tonight?” Also, since she assumed the date was cancelled but it wasn’t she would have stood him up had he not texted her that he was running late. So overall I don’t think he was in the wrong but I do think the reaction of “I do what I say” is a bit off and calling her a B**** was uncalled for
The b word is OBVIOUSLY a form of expression. 🙄
@@viviawaag863still, was a turn hearing that from a guy, specially since he said it because he was mad
@@karly.asshhh It doesn’t change the fact that it’s a figure of speech. An expression. It is used all the time.
Completely agree that timeframe between initial confirmation and date dictate if a second confirmation is needed. If the date is a week or more out, confirmation day before or at least morning of would be expected. But I wouldn’t reconfirm something set only 2 or 3 days prior. I would apply this rule to any social appointments, first date, lunch with friend, whatever.
I also think he exhibited red flags in this video that she should be glad she stood him up. I agree with his expectations, not his response.
imo she kinda was being a b-word. there was only 2 - 3 days between their date planning and the day of and, like he said, he was busy w/ work and other errands. he has a life, he doesnt have to drop everything to text her every day. unless they were officially together, which wasnt the case, he is in no obligation to text her every day unless both parties are super into each other. and what about her? why didnt she text him? so just because HE didnt text HER, she got pissy at him and just assumed the date was off??? sounds like a b**** that was just looking for an excuse to bail to me
The first woman's story, She offered from the start to pay. He said I got it. Then changed the story to you wanted free dinner. These are the boys making it hard for the rest of us.
That’s what I was thinking too! Totally shows he’s only willing to pay if he gets something in return.
That's why I make sure I have enough to pay for my meal before going out.... unless they will turn the situation to you being entitled
Lol 💀he thought he can get some 💭you know after paying for meals and walking with her to her room lol..Those are the same type of boys who will act like chad sigma and judge all women saying they all are for the stree and all 💀
I actually think he wanted to grape her
A tate todd, for sure.
lmfaoooooo the last one is wild... bet, build me a house from scratch and ill get started on dinner
So I had a similar situation as the first guy but with a friend of mine.
We agreed on meeting on the next Sunday. It was the Saturday of the previous week. The only thing we did not confirm was the hour. However, I had reserved the whole day for her alone to meet with her. Well.... The same day I asked what time shall we meet and she replied that she had made other plans since I didn't confirm we were meeting. That's not how it is supposed to be you know? If I said I will meet on a day, I will do it unless I cancel it before hand.
Yes!!! Made plans a week ahead with 3 coworker friends. The day of, 2 of the 3 said they thought I cancelled because I didn't confirm a couple days before. What???? Why do I need to confirm again? 😮💨
Lesson learned with all these fomo people. Now I confirm 2 more times for each outing 🙄
If they weren't sure why didn't THEY ask instead of bailing? Crappy excuse if you ask me.
The big difference is that he didn't even remember he had a date until it was time for the date to start. I think that is why he is hung up on the confirmation. He told her to grab a table that he was still 5-10 minutes from being there. She might have already been there and lack of punctuality was a deal-breaker for her....especially since he didn't bother telling her he was late until the date was already set to start. How did he not know sooner that he was going to be late.....unless he got pulled over and couldn't reach for his phone out of fear of being shot, he should have respected her enough to tell her prior to the start of the date. She may have been there and left before he got there.
With yours that is a bit fowl. But is she used to you jot setting a time? Because if people aren't used to not setting a time they may think that you don't know yet and so they are still waiting to see. But if it is normal to not set a time then yeah that was wrong for her to do to you.
@@SoManyRandomRamblings Bothered me he was late, too.
My worst first date was with a guy who took me to a sushi place and only ate rice. He lifted his buttcheek and farted on the waitress as she walked by thinking I’d laugh. Then he got super drunk and started crying and saying I was too good for him.
You win 😅
I would not do that😂
You were.
You were too good for him. I hope you ran like hell.
YIKES! That's a date from Hell, for sure!
Imagine telling that drop dead gorgeous woman she needs to look more like Kim! I am so glad Charlotte said the same thing.
Exactly- that woman is EXACTLY who I wanna be when I grow up!! And they're both hourglass figures so what is he nitpicking about, ohmygod!!!🤦♀️🤦♀️😂
I had a guy I dated for a while. Everything was fine for a couple of months. Then he started talking about his dead fiancée and how much he missed her and how much I reminded him of her. A little creepy, but I get it, people grieve differently. So I was supportive. Then he said I should dye my hair black. I asked him why and he said 'because her hair was black, oh, and you need to start wearing these drop earrings, because she loved drop earrings" He was serious.
I got up, got everything I had ever brought over, stuffed it in a couple of bags and left. Sorry, nope, not going to play dress up as a ghost.
@@lindapatton4478🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯🤯
The first story was good because it shows how over-communicating can be really helpful. He obviously got his feelings hurt because everything that she didn't like was her fault lol. He didn't text because he doesn't know her, then implies it's because people/she don't get his sense of humor/sarcasm. He's only a little bit late and lets her know, but feels she should be grateful that he even let her know he'd be late. Calls her a b**ch, says texting is for little girls, says he has better things to do during the week - he should hang out with his buddies during his free time until he's willing to put in more effort.
I agree!! I was curious as to why no one else seemed to mention this? At this point it’s concerning. He is absolutely a walking red flag!
He sounds really immature.
Regarding the woman whose date clearly insinuated that he should be invited to her room after paying for her dinner…I had an experience like that once, but it was in the “old days” where guys could be less subtle (yes! Less!), and it was also before women started paying for their own dinners (I know, I’m telling my age). After dinner he said he wanted to go somewhere “private” where we could “do our thing”. I asked him why he thought I was going to sleep with him after a first date, and he said (really!), “Well, I just bought you a steak dinner, so you owe me”. Dear god! I think I got out of his car at the next traffic light. Honey, I can find my way home on my own.
" you bought dinner, not me. I never put myself on the menu."
Yep, I was saying in those days too. It was completely ridiculous. 🤬
It's terrifying to read some of these comments and the comments responding. Some are full of men saying if they pay, they expect sex. Ew just really grossed me out. If you buy me dinner, NO that does not mean I HAVE TO sleep with you. JFC that's insanity and just appalling to me.
@@Starry_Skye22right?! Like if that’s what you’re expecting to pay for sex then go find an escort or whatever 🤷♀️
This is exactly why i wont let a man pay for my part of the date. Or drive me. No expectations of anyone feeling they are owed anything. We both gave our time and spent our money, and used our own gas to get there. I keep that playing field level!
For real? What boundaries did she set? He made the move to ask her out, made plans and everything, TEXTED HER on the same day which she hearted it for her then to blame HIM for not confirming? Confirm what?? The date was scheduled by both of them, that is it, end of story!! That's the date! If you need confirmation, then do that for yourself! For him the date was set and he was on that, where was her? I mean come on, don't be ridiculous.
Don't you know that it's always the man's fault no matter what happens or doesn't happen? He should have read her mind... duh
@@klauseba Oh right yes, I am so stupid..I blame my father for abandoning me..tsk oh well!
This little thread cracked me up yall are great 😂
@klauseba bitter much?
Exactly! And if the roles had been reversed and a guy responded to a good morning text with just a heart emoji, everyone would be saying she should have just canceled the date because she deserved more than that as a response.
Why the heck didn't that first gal confirm the date herself, when he texted her on Friday? It's not the 1800s. Women don't have to wait around for a man to arrange everything. I've been in her position, and I'll just send them a: "Hey, are we still good for Friday? 😊".
Exactly
There are aspects of dating that is way harder on women. I think it's understandable that some expect a bit more effort on the man's part.
@@AnnafromHungarylvNWI’m not really a man defender, but honestly this is ridiculous. He made the effort to ask her out, and was probably going to pay. All she had to do was as get herself ready and show up. She was rude for that. If she wanted a second confirmation, all she had to do was text and say “Hey are we still on for Friday at 7:30?” That’s literally all it would’ve taken. In his mind and my mind, making plans and not canceling them IS confirmation that you have plans. It honestly sounds like she would’ve complained about anything, regardless.
@@AnnafromHungarylvNWLike what beside the creepy messages and having to dig through dick picks?
@@AnnafromHungarylvNW Absolute bullshit.
First story... If she was so bothered about a confirmation, why didn't she do it? She hasnt bothered to text all week either. Screw her and her double standards. That guy dodged a bullet.
That 1st guy is absolutely right. Dating over 40 is different than what you “kids” do. If SHE was worried then SHE should have reached out with “hey, we still on?”. They made plans, it’s been confirmed…that’s that. We aren’t children.
That begs the question that if she's in a different mind set of a younger generation, how old is she?
@@chronocontract8835 What an odd question to beg. She's most likely a fully functioning adult...
@@nicanonymous9023 why is that so strange? He never said her age, he has expectations that a lot of people here are agreeing with coming from an older generation. The younger generation are agreeing with her method. It just makes me wonder if he's dating someone his age or someone much younger than him. That doesn't mean she's not an adult but it could mean that she's between 18 to 25 or something which would explain the miscommunication
Even at 30, I would not show up unless it's been double confirmed especially not if they have been ghosting me all week. Especially if it's somebody she was on the fence about on the first place, I can see her not wanting to be awkward and reach out to him
@@chronocontract8835 You're being dishonest. There are plenty of people from the younger generation that are agreeing with what the man is saying.
About confirming a date, I agree with the guy. If I am asked out on a date and we have an agreed upon day/time I would never think to confirm. I confirmed when I agreed to go out. If that girl was unsure if they still had plans because she hadn't heard from him, why didn't she confirm if they were still on? Also he messaged her Happy Friday the morning of the date and she acknowledged the text. If she had any questions about whether they were still on for their date that night, she could have taken that opportunity to confirm if she was unsure. Basically if she had any questions about if they were still meeting up that night she could have put her big girl panties on and sent him a quick text if that's what she needed. I would never think to not show up to a date if I made plans with that person just because I did not hear from them for a couple of days prior. Like he said were adults and if she had questions she could simply text instead of wasting his time. Sometimes shit happens. But I know that if I make plans with somebody I will be there. It's not this guy's fault. I would not
Agree
100% agree!
Yup ! Everyone seems to forget the " Happy Friday " text ! She could have said something !
💯💯💯💯 AGREED
But then what about the people who view punctuality as important...because he stated that he didn't text to say he was running late until it was late enough he expected her to already be there to grab a table. So I think he was the one who actually needed the confirmation as he either forgot completely or has poor time management.
ATTN MEN: This is not the 1600s. Women are not busting it wide open for FOOD & WATER 😆😂🤣😂😂
😂😅 I'm laughing so hard right now
Women still wouldn't back then tbh 😂
I know that's right! 😂 They really think it's that simple with women that actually carry themselves well. 🤦🏻♀️
@@Just.Stacey27die
@@StoogesTheTwo your mom first!
That guy that called that lady a b***h. Just looking at his body language, facial expressions, tone of voice, and attitude. He rubbed me the wrong way immediately. Gave me bad vibes all day long. Eww!🤢
Regarding the first guy... to be fair, she hearted his text but didn't text back? That to me is a red flag, because it's cause for passive-agressive responses to unmet expectations, while the expectations are not met because they're not being communicated. If you need confirmation, ask for it. It's that simple, don't just expect a guy to do so when you don't know each other that well. The texts where you agree to meet up should be right above the 'happy Friday' text, so it's not weird to refer to them.
Wrong. She hearted it, because she was happy to hear from him and was hoping he would now mention the upcoming date evening. He didn't, so, she assumed he didn't want to go out any longer and she didn't want to ask about it to avoid embarrassment.
The most memorable talk I ever had with my Dad was as I was getting ready to leave on my first real dinner date. My dad gave me $40 and said "Make sure you pay for yourself." and when I asked why, he said "Guys pay for dinner to make chicks feel like they owe them something. You don't ever owe a guy anything." I will never ever forget that lesson, and when my son starts dating, I will teach him the same thing.
I still let the guy pay. He tried something. I confidently denied him and went home with my $40 in my pocket 😂
Good job - it's still the case that most men are earning more than women in similar positions *and* women generally pay more money for the clothes, make-up, hair, whatever they are doing for a date. It's not fair if women need to expect to give a bigger percentage of their income to "finding a partner".
I have always been very... don't want no guy thinking I'm woth them for money. Amd, unfortunately I've been woth a couple broke ass dudes but, I was always in it for love. No matter what other the situation. However, when I met my husband after we met, the first time he came to hang out, my electric got turned off that morning 🤦♀️ do I tried to call him and reschedule. He didn't wanna reschedule. Even after I told him why. He took the day off work. He also offered to pay my electric bill and I declined.
We were together 5 years, married for 8.5 months before he passed, but he told me it made him feel like a man to support us. It took me little by little to accept. Lol but eventually I got there. Now I have to remember what it was like to be poor lol
@@keladry12
No, it is not the case in a like-for-like job.
Yes but their choice; men spend their money on other things.
Yes it would be fair if that were the case, which it isn't, because strong independent women such as yourself are always sneeringly claiming 'We Don't Dress or Put On Makeup for No Man, We Do It for Ourselves'.
On the flip side, if the date goes well, you can let him pay and make the agreement next date you pay. Cute way of letting each other know the vibe.
Like the way your dad respectfully said "Chicks". Your final paragraph is a scream. Your story is completely made up.
First guy. You did good.I'm a woman about your age, and I'd be fine with this. I'm scandinavian though,and the datingthing is different here.The expectations and demands of some women,especially "over there" are right down crazy. A guy askes you out for a pizza nobody needs affirmation and confirmation more than once. Not the A.H.
Yes, my thought exactly. I think this is something valid only for US/Canada lifestyle. I too am European and we do not need second confirmation for a date. You are only contacted in the event the date is cancelled and not the other way around.
@@ТеодораКолева-й3гI think I'm really hurt because in my personal social history it's been normal for people (friends dates family etc) to not let me know that the plans are cancelled... for example if we make plans for 2pm I'll message them at 145 and they'll be like, nah I have to clean my room....
Yeah, me niether - maybe it’s a European thing
Unless she did get there on time and whenever he texted AFTER the start time of the date and said he would still be another 5-10 minutes late that it is possible she was already there and left. For some people lack of punctuality is a deal-breaker
@@MissHellybaybee In Colombia, most people assume the arrangements are confirmation and you just check the day of if you have any doubts about any info. Hell, you don't even have to plan anything ahead, just go "Let's go out on Friday" and figure stuff out along the week or even that very same day. You don't need to RSVP with a butler and a messenger on a horse for a casual first date.
"you are cooking" HAHAHAHAH no, sir. Hahahahaha
Disagree on the first one about reconfirming... If anything comes up to change those plans, absolutely... If you make plans once, they're plans... Period
Couldn’t agree more
Right! It's not like they scheduled it a month before, where I could see confirming to make sure the other person didn't forget, but it was days earlier! And he had a time and place set that she agreed to. She stood him up.
Agree!!
My thoughts exactly
Yes but shouldn’t you touch base at least before you leave ? 🤷🏻♀️ I’m the type of person I have to plan everything. So I would be sending a message to confirm before I leave anywhere. ** which she could’ve done the morning of to confirm too
I appreciate how charlotte is comfortable with opening up the discussion on whether you disagree or not in the comments, and that people are comfortable to. You’d assume with similar content the RUclipsr would have only “yes men” in the comments. I’ve disagreed with charlottes takes a few times, but I have no hate towards her, nor do I think others do, due to the fact that she seems so open and comfortable with people being on either side. And I greatly appreciate that. ❤ it’s so interesting to read the comments because of this as well. Good on ya Charlotte!
YES, exactly!
I just wanted to say that I’m SO MAD because the black woman about 17 minutes in was SOOO stunningly gorgeous AND she had a COOL ASS CHILL ASS ATTITUDE. how dare someone tell her she basically wasn’t DRESSED right or making the right makeup choices in their opinion. humanity is SO wack bruh
My exact thought. She's absolutely stunning. That man needs a new pair of eyes, especially if he thinks Kim K is natural
this though.... she is AMAZINGLY STUNNING, and that man DARES to tell her to look different?!?!? HELL NO SIR.
Right?! Natural! lol @@1_f_f_4_h
She is definitely hot, don't how how any bloke could tell her she wasn't ready, she looks like the kind of woman who wakes up looking a million bucks
It's astounding to me that anyone would think Kim Kardashian looks better than the woman in the video!
That 1st guy is stupid. He's over 40? The entire story is a red flag, but him calling her a B clinched it. Yes, he is the a-hole. Of course you confirm. Ish happens
No no, with the first story you and the other woman are wrong. They agreed to the date on TUESDAY, he only didnt text her for two days. He texted her Friday and if she was unsure she should have texted back to his good morning 'hey are we still on tonight' rather than hearting it and then just silently cancelling their date without telling him. She should have said something or been upfront in her expectations.
She knew why he was saying happy Friday and couldn’t even bother txting a response. She just hearted his txt.
100% agree
This 💯 That woman was absolutely childish, he dodged a bullet.
Thankyou, THIS is exactly what I’ve been saying to people in comments! Thought I was going crazy here! 😂
@angel...nope. He asked her on the date. He calls to confirm. That's how it works. If she asked him on the date then she calls to confirm. Communication = love. No communication, no love.
The girl who had her date show up with his girlfriend reminds me of something that happened to my ex years ago. She’d met a girl on Tinder who’d said she was lesbian. They organised to grab a drink after talking for a few days. This girl shows up with her boyfriend! She called them predators and left. Like WTF that’s so unsafe!
Wow, that’s scary. Don’t know if that was going in the hate crime direction or thinking a threesome was a possibility. Very sketchy for sure.
Maybe she was bi and wanted a three-way?
@@Blondie77128could be that, an open relationship, or poly 🤷🏾♀️
@@Blondie77128 it was definitely for the threesome angle. Disgusting AF for her though. She’s super confident though, and tore the two of them a new arsehole in front of everyone, reported them to Tinder. I hope they got banned.
Unicorn hunters!
I so disagree on that first one and the stitched response. He confirmed the date. He texted her that day. He even let her know he was running late even though it was only by a few minutes. Meanwhile she sat back apparently seething because he wasn’t meeting expectations that he didn’t know she had and she never lifted a finger to do anything herself. Of course he was confused! I would be too! And frankly, I’d be skeeved if someone was relentlessly texting me before we’d ever gone out. If she wanted more communication, she should’ve communicated.
Couldn’t agree more.
Preach, I agree with u
Did he confirm it though?
YES!!!!!! 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 Completely agree!!!!
@@AnnafromHungarylvNW he did also say good morning on friday, she could have asked then but she didn't. Both were in the wrong
15:13 how much you wanna bet that doobie he was offering her was laced with some sort of sedative, and the other 2 were only going to *pretend* to smoke...? From start to finish... sounds like a trap, to me. He probably gave her an untraceable burner number. Sounds like they might have been trying to avoid being seen tg in a public place/security cameras 🤷♀️ maybe I'm just paranoid. Sketchy situation, either way.
The story that made me the most angry was the man who expected the woman to invite him to her room because he bought her dinner... I would think anyone wanting a second date and hopefully more, wouldn't put pressure for something more than what the woman is comfortable with to happen on the first date. And any guy that thinks a woman's worth is the cost of a dinner, isn't even worth the hassle of having that dinner paid for. Most of us women know that at this point, and will happily pay for our meal to get out of feeling like we owe anyone anything. Most of us will pay for our dinner period, just like she offered to begin with. But then he had to go and make it even more weird after he said he would pay. He went from being a gentleman to a complete creep in like 2 minutes.
If it wasn't clear for the one who showed up to the coffee date and he had another woman with him, he was expecting her to be their Unicorn. For those that might not know what a Unicorn is, it is a woman willing to have a threesome with an established couple. I mean he could have at least bought her coffee first, damn! Lol. But seriously, that is the absolute worst way to find someone who might be interested in doing something like that, and she was right to run!
For the absolutely stunning woman who blocked the guy who wanted her to look more like Kim K, she is a queen! The fact that he had the audacity to tell her friend that she is the crazy one is absolutely laughable. For one, she is absolutely gorgeous as she is! Secondly, those pictures of Kim are after she has had a lot of work done, makeup always done by a professional makeup artist, and she has not allow any pictures of her to be published anywhere on the internet without them being heavily photo shopped. He is absolutely the crazy one, and her only answer to him should be that he seriously needs therapy.
I don’t agree with the first one, especially the stitched response. Canceling is not ghosting, if you cancel plans that ALSO requires some form of communication(like, hey sorry Friday doesn’t work for me, etc.) Assuming that since he didn’t text you everyday means the date is canceled is a JUMP to conclusions.
Also, he texted her that morning. That’s pretty much a confirmation without so many words. If someone texts me the day we have made plans for, then obviously they’re thinking about me BECAUSE we have plans.
Second one, 100% agree. If I’m not interested, I’m am paying for my meal. Because people(especially men) really do feel entitled to your body if they pay for the meal. It’s STRANGE. Like, if you wannna pay for sex, there are people who do that for a living.
Couldn’t have said it better! She acknowledged him that same day and could’ve asked for confirmation if she really wasn’t sure.
Yep. That first one was infuriating, and not for the reason the stitch said. I would have felt exactly like that dude.
Absolutely agree. If it was said Friday 7:30 pm that's it for me. I'm not re-confirming. As the man said, we are adults, not 10 year-olds. Unless someone explicitly texts/ calls to cancel I expect things to happen as agreed. That's the point of agreeing to begin with
It is why I never agree to a dinner on the first date. It’s always coffee in the daytime or meet at a public space like art museum. And if they flake, it’s fine because these are places I go to by myself any way.
I would not feel entitled to her body if I paid for the meal, at all. Why? Because it is not logical in my head that the value of a body is only worth the value of a meal and because it is quite disrespectful to think like that towards another human being!
I'm sure there are men out there who think like that, but I am one of those who do not think like that.
I agree with everything else you said.
The first guy isn't wrong. He set the date, she approved. There was no talk about rescheduling or cancelling. If he's not the one to text every day, he was in his right mind to think everything is ok. If for her confirmation is s must, then SHE should've confirmed it that day or before. I understand being a woman and need to plan ahead, I understand dating someone who's more casual about their time than you are. But you don't just assume the plans are out! When they were set and never cancelled. Especially if both are adults, many of whom may not text every day because of their jobs and other stuff. She was just caught in her ego or didn't want to come and "you haven't confirmed" was an excuse. Whatever the case, it wasn't meant to be if two people cannot even agree on how to set a date.
It's not like he said "Let's hang out Friday" with no follow up. He made concrete time and place plans. Why are people assuming that no follow up means canceled?
Yes! I also disagree with the argument that the man would be scared off if the woman reached out to confirm. If a quick "Looking forward to seeing you tonight!" scares off a man, I don't want him
Yeah, that chick sounded so arrogant and entitled
He then didn't bother showing up on time.... he texted her after he expected her to already have there to grab a table and still said he would be 5-10 minutes late. For some people punctuality is a deal-breaker.
But he was being a a-hole and calling her a b word, I would do the same as the girl and just assume that the date was off with no texts from him. It's his fault for at least not trying to confirm anything, and yes she could've said something. It's not her fault for not saying anything since the guy didn't show any interest and tried to keep communication
2:18 you at LEAST confirm the day before or a few days from said date to remind them.
(I do agree girl could have done the same and asked)
Some people just ghost and dont want to go.
However I had an older dude try and hook up with me when we were at a similar event, dude texted me every five minutes every single day and got butthurt if i didnt reply l, did this for a few months,
That is also a no go.
I went on a date with a guy like this once. He had a job that kept him very busy. We planned a date and I didnt hear from him much for the rest of the week day of I TEXTED HIM a couple hrs before to confirm. Of course i didnt want to get ready for nothing so my personality is one who wants to be sure so i have no problem texting to confirm. I just said "hey are we still on for tonight?" He promptly texted me back and said "yep see you then!" Ok cool i got my answer and met him at the restaurant. I thought it went good and he paid for my dinner and then that was it. I honestly never heard from him again....he wasnt into me its whatever but....i confirmed. If she wanted confirmation she could have texted. I dont think he was an asshole
I agree
Takes two to tango after all.
If he’d texted between that confirmation and the day of, far too often people start to perceive vibes of “clingy/needy”
Also, some are much better chatting IN PERSON rather than texting
All this said, he messages “happy Friday”, could easily have added the second line “looking forward to tonight”
There’s a big difference between mistakes of perspective and “being an a-hole”
If he asked he should confirm honestly. If she asked for the date she should confirm.
I don't date but I always confirm when I hang out with friends. My anxiety could never let me leave the house without confirmation
the person that asks, confirms. even a kid knows that
First story; If she wasn't sure if they were still going out then SHE should text to confirm. To him there was no uncertainty. She was the flake, he was understandably annoyed that she flaked. The idea that he must not be that interested because he didn't text her all week is juvenile.
Juvenile. Yep that’s the word I was looking for.
All she needed to do to confirm without coming across as clingy - which Charlotte says is her fear - she could've replied to his "Happy Friday" text with "Looking forward to our date tonight!" instead of simply heart it. That would've opened the door for him to say, "Me too!" or "Actually...." and cancel. I always confirm with friend when I'm not sure, and it usually looks a lot like that.
Hahahaha, I’m not a dentist office. I’m not gonna send you a “confirmation” text. 😂
The guy that made the video about dating over 40, that made a date with the lady for the pizza place and asked her to get an outside table DID IN FACT confirm with the date, how am I the ONLY person that heard him say that they had already confirmed once and shouldn't have to confirm the date twice. Him calling her the B word wasn't nice BUT HE DID COMFIRM THE DATE WITH THE LADY ONCE but just NOT twice.
Agree! Sorry, but as a women that lady stood him up, which was a b*tch move. When strangers treat me rudely, I curse them out. If he did that to me, I’d be calling him an a-hole.
I agree! He and she confirmed when they made concrete plans to go on the date! If she needed a second confirmation, she should’ve text him Friday and said “Hey are we still on for tonight?”
He didn't confirmed... he says that when she said yes that's a confirmation... thats not a confirmation a confirmation comes after that yes... to confirm... even he said for him that one yes was the confirmation... and looks she texted him because he let know he didn't text her because his sarcastic jokes... so she was texting him!!! And he ghosted her. And then called her a b in his childish tantrum.
Why did he ghost her? The phone works TWO ways. She obviously wasn’t that interested because women will def blow you up if they do
You are not the only person. I heard him say he confirmed it, too.
Nah the first guy isn’t wrong. Confirmation is a two way street. If she wanted to text throughout the week, and wanted to confirm the date, she has full control to do that herself. She’s expecting him to put in effort she didn’t put in herself. If she had been texting and trying to confirm, that’s one thing. But to put in 0 effort herself and then get mad when she was shown 0 effort is wild to me. And what’s even more wild is he gave notice that he was gonna be late and then she ditched him. So she had no intention on going on the date and had no intention on letting him know that? Nah, she got what she put In and she can’t be mad about that.
He literally texted her that morning and she only responded by liking his message. He was the only one to provide any ounce of a confirmation. She's in the wrong on this one.
this makes me happy being Old . world has gone Mad ,
If having to confirm the morning of a date is a requirement for her then she should have let him know to confirm that morning.
He did send her a text that morning and she responded with a heart. He dodged a bullet with this one.
Right! He is not a mind reader!
@@seeya205 people have different preferences. some women would call him clingy or needy for texting more than that.
Or confirm herself. Instead of heart his message she could've said, "Looking forward to our date tonight!" and that would've been enough without coming across as clingy or needy - which is what Charlotte seemed to give as an excuse. If you're not sure, it's on you to make sure, not the other party to be a mind reader and confirm for you.
@@happychaosofthenorth Now, you are just talking foolishness! You expect an adult to mature and responsible?!?! 😂
Before I got married I went on a date with a really nice guy I met on an app. I didn’t expect much, but I was shocked that he was on time and very sweet. We had dinner and the vibes were fantastic….until he looked me dead in the eyes and says “my wife is going to love you!” The physical gymnastics I managed in those heels as I fled could land me an Olympic medal. Thankfully I met my husband a few months later and we’ve been married for 10 years. 😊
Lol😭🤣😂 I am so sorry.
I would’ve probably did a spit take or choked on my food 😂
Omg plz share exactly how you left. I need this.
NOMG the mental image I just got from this? Please tell me you were in stilettos.
Imagine thinking polyamorous people don't exist. 🙄
Were you dating Kody Brown? lol
I absolutely disagree with Charlotte about the first one. It was not a whole week, it was a few days, and he did touch base on the Friday. Walk away from her with no regret.
Agreed. She sounded clingy and entitled to all of his time and rude. Glad I’m not the only one who thought he wasn’t unreasonable
agreed. he had already confirmed so unless he cancelled by text or phone she should not assume the date was off. then he only didn't text for like 3 days then texted her friday morning to which she hearted it. so WHAT part of that makes anyone assume the date is off? at his age like he said they aren't going to text u every day or constantly and he did touch base friday morning. why didn't she instead of hearting it just reply something like looking forward to tonight, or just checked we're still a go for tonight? etc. just to make sure. and someone being like 8 mins late isn't that bad. sometimes traffic, an accident, car issues, flat tire etc things beyond your control happen to make someone late. being understanding can go a long way. now if its late by more than 10 mins without a good reason that's different. but sh*t happens. I think she was silly for making him reschedule so yeah i think he's better to walk away from her.
He seemed nice, didn’t want want to appear too over clingy I think.
They decided. It was Friday 7:30. Period. Why is that hard? It wasn’t a whole week. It was a few days. Get the hell over it. I’d have asked. But dating is beastly.
I agree. Also, she could have confirmed, too. You know, instead of sending a heart? WE ARE NOT TEENAGERS. My guy enjoyed the pizza, though!😂😂😂
Yaaa id expect to confirm again because id be just weird not saying a word all week. Not a word said would make me think he's changed his mind.
The reply video to that first story and Charlotte's reaction really surprised me. I think he was justifiably annoyed by the situation. Why didn't the woman text him? She just hearted his "happy Friday" text, instead of replying. That was a clear opener that she didn't bother to take. He's better off without her.
Yep. He basically got attacked for being stood up.
it is pure entitlement. I don't mean based on gender, but in general. People nowadays feel entitled to arrange meetings (between friends, business, appointments with doctors) and go if they feel like it. While in the past due to the lack of phones and quick ways to cancel, people stuck with their word. If you did not turn up, you were classified as an untrustworthy person unless you had a really really good excuse. Nowadays you not only don't even need an excuse for not showing up, you can blame the other person for not having confirmed. WTF try that shit with a court appointment or a deadline for a loan. That will never fly. But for some reason we started to accept it in our personal lives.
Exactly! She never cancelled, he never cancelled. She pulled a no show. Maybe she forgot and just gaslighted him into thinking it was his fault. I think he dodged a toxic person.
@@denidale4701100%
I thought it was just a difference in expectations and an unwillingness to communicate. Instead of only responding with "I do what I say", especially if he was interested in seeing her, he could've just noted that she wanted confirmation and explained that he doesn't text a lot.She could have also texted him during the week, and then cancelled if he didn't text enough for her. Neither were willing to admit they were wrong or give it another shot. It's also possible she dealt with a lot of late dates in the past and had decided not to deal with it anymore. The silver living is that they are both adults and can decide to see people that they vibe with more
I think you missed it on the first one Charlotte. He doesnt know her either. He texted the morning of the date. If she wanted confirmation she should have asked for it instead of just expecting it. He treated her like an adult. She responded with an unspoken expectation which killed the whole possibility of a date.
Yeah. But his response video? Still massive red flags for him. She can’t communicate. He overreacts. Wouldn’t be a good mix anyway.
She just said based on her own experiences that no communication frequently meant a no show.
He ghosted her for a whole week, showed up late anyway, then called her a bitch.
@@swhitson9633did he ghost her? I don’t remember him saying she texted him at all in the week. It’s his job to initiate a conversation and not also hers?
@@swhitson9633 That's not what ghosting means, if she had send texts during the week and he did not respond, that would be ghosting. She didn't say anything to him either.
I was on a first date and I was so nervous. And I get clumsy when I'm nervous. So I spilled a FULL glass of iced tea ALL over my lap and I was SO embarrassed!
... we're about to celebrate our 5 year wedding anniversary in a few weeks.
That's a fun story to tell the family as well
wholesome!!
I smashed my sundae dish on the first date with my husband... now happy married 😂
Being over 40, I agree with him. If someone had made plans with me at the beginning of the week, I for 1, appreciate them not bothering me for the rest of the week as I am also busy and 2, then texted me out of the blue on the morning of, I would assume there was a correlation between the text and the date. I was shocked at her response. I would have understood if he was canceling 30 minutes before he had to be there and she had already gotten ready, but to receive a text that just says hey, I’m gonna be a few minutes late and then reject him? That was rude. I’d be offended too if I were him because I personally don’t see a failed communication. At this age, we’ve already been there and done that and no longer have biological clocks ticking, so it is a lot more casual than it was in our 20’s and 30’s.
Everyone communicates differently. The girl from the first story did NOT set a boundary, she made an assumption and made no attempt to seek clarification. If you want someone to communicate with you a certain way then COMMUNICATE THAT. Communicate your expectations. Communicate your boundaries. Communicate you don’t plan to show up. Don’t assume someone can read your mind, especially if you just met. Him hurting her was a misunderstanding, her hurting him by flaking then lashing out was intentional.
I agree him referring to her as a b!tch on TikTok isn’t cool. He is a bit of an a-hole for that, but she was for everything that came before that (based on the limited info we have).
If you go back and listen to what he said IN CONTEXT he did not call her a bitch. At all. The women in the response twisted what he said. That isn't what he said at all. You know those inner thoughts you get when someone says something and you're like "bitch please" or " bitch who asked you"? Those kinda inner thoughts. That's exactly how he used that when he said that word. He was not calling her a bitch. He was not referring to her as a bitch. He was making a generalized reactionary response all of us make when we are astounded or confused by something. Context matters. And I for one ans beyond sick of seeing people put words into other people's mouths to justify their double standard bullshit.
see this situation so often with friends. Yeah, he did't confirm as he thought date was set. If she wasn;t sure, she could have texted him. simples
I’m a woman and I can’t express enough HOW BITCHY HER RESPONSE WAS THO 😂 like, if it walks talks and quacks like a duck why are we pretending otherwise?!
He communicated with his actions that he wasn't very interested or invested. I wouldn't follow through with plans with someone like that. He basically told her she is hardly worth interacting with. At that point he shouldn't expect for her to confirm or do *anything*.
Actions are a form of communication. It's incredibly important to back up your actions with words, but if you don't it's on you when someone reacts to the only communication they *did* receive. I don't understand who would have interest in a guy who behaved the way he did. There's just nothing really there, and it's so incredibly easy to have more than that. So why downgrade or settle?
Emotionally stable, independent women have better things to do with their time.
The woman did state a boundary, but as hindsight. I agree she wasn't up-front with any sort of boundary, but her boundary is *incredibly* reasonable and doesn't need to be communicated, because not communicating it will naturally weed out guys who naturally aren't super interested. I will quickly loose interest in anyone who puts me in a position where I feel like I am nagging. I shouldn't have to tell someone to be interested or show interest.
The woman made the right move. You can see in his reaction that she dodged a bullet. Everything is confirmed within 24 hours. Haven't you ever made an appointment to anything ever? LOL.
Very much this... if you have a boundary/requirement, let that be known. Why do people, especially with how much we hear/know about the importance of communication, still expect others to read their minds and adhere to whatever arbitrary standards they've created for themselves.
That first story is actually infuriating. Because people are saying that he should have confirmed. But they agreed and made plans and had a time set. No need to confirm, oh my gosh
Yeah, I think he’s Gen X, and the girl is younger.
I'm with you, I'm under 30 and I can 100% confirm that agreeing to go on the date is confirmation enough. We shouldn't have to baby sit our dates to make sure they're going to be at the restaurant.
Idk, it is completly weird for me, I am 32 years old and not dating for a long time.
I mean he does not have to confirm and if she is unsure about it being canceled or not she could have asked. But if someone asked me on a date I would also expect some communication, anything showing some interest on me or the date. Instead of a “happy friday” it could have been, “I am looking forward for tonight”
I would also be confused with no communication for a whole week. Thinking on my meet up with friends, if we planned and haven’t talked the whole week we do ask in the morning, if everything is ok for meeting later and those are people I know will show up, but sometimes life happens.
@@caroline0001What I can't understand, though, is if everything wasn't ok, why wouldn't your friends have said something by then? They were just going to stand you up unless you asked?
@@bonsaikitty29people forget about plans sometimes or have emergencies where they can't text.
To the girl in the first story - I'm sorry but dating past 30 is hard and nobody has time for such stupid games. You've already confirmed, don't try to turn this around and blame it on the guy for not constantly checking in to validate your princess syndrome.
Who needs to constantly text through the week…..sssh. And confirmation wtf it was a date not a business meeting. Why are people so needy
Thank you for putting my thoughts more eloquently than I could have! Agree 100%
@@neddygirl62
I would definitely not confirm a business meeting.
Not to mention it was 2 days! They made the plans on Tuesday for Friday. It would have been one thing if they had made the plans the week before, and if it been 5 days or more since. But even in that case, I would still consider the good morning text on that day as confirmation. If she had any question, than she should have been mature enough to respond with something like, "Good Morning, are we still on for tonight at 7:30?", instead of a freaking heart. Why would he text her good morning if he was planning on not going to the date? That doesn't make sense.
This result is a good thing. Bullet dodged. 😎
I can’t stand the “I need constant confirmation” people. If we makes plans, and don’t talk until said plans take place, assume it’s still ON bc we didn’t cancel. Like WTF… can’t we all just hold ourselves accountable, not overcommit and say yes to something with no intentions on showing up??? I can really tell who was raised on landlines and who wasn’t lol😂
OMG yes! 😂 This is exactly how I feel!
I had a date once , we were going to a movie, and just before he he was supposed to pick me up he called and asked if I could pick him up. I said, um, ok. I drove by where he was, and another woman was with him. They climbed into my backseat and he excitedly introduced her as his “Ex girlfriend “. I was kinda shocked, didn’t know what to do, and drove towards the theatre like I was their chauffeur. By the time we got close to the movie theater I pulled over and told them I wouldn’t be joining them. He acted confused, not understanding why I had suddenly changed my mind. They got out of my car and I took off as he was trying to talk me into going to the movie. What a fool!
😂
Well... You did give them a free ride... 🫢
I think we dated the same guy! Was this in Miami???! 😂
A) he didn’t consider it a date B) he wanted a free ride
@@MegaMisfit138😅
I think it's up to the person that finds out they won't be able to make the date to text and say they won't be able to make it. Plans were made, you both agreed, and if that changes, it's up to the person that needs to cancel the plans to cancel.
Sure confirming the day of is probably a good idea but even if there is no confirmation, the original plans you made are technically still on.
For all we know, she was there, because he said he didn't text her to say he was going to be late UNTIL texted after the start time of the date had already arrived to say grab a table I will be another 5-10 minutes. Sounds like he was the one who.needed the confirmation. He either totally forgot or didn't care enough to let her know he was running late when he started running late, rather than waiting till the start time of the date to bother sending the first message
He did tell her he was running late. You don't always know how late you're going to be until you get on the road and check the traffic.
I kind of doubt she was there and left due to someone being 8 minutes late or so. Half an hour I'd understand but not for 8 minutes.@@SoManyRandomRamblings
gonna be fully honest, if somebody just "assumed we cancelled" because i hadn't hit them up on the days leading up, i'd be really upset. like, you agreed to meet up at a certain time, and he literally reminded you what day it was beforehand. yeah he shouldn't have called her a bitch but it's completely reasonable to be annoyed and feel she was being really rude??
Agree with you completely, just want to add:
Girls call guys "d*cks" all the time when they do stuff like this on a date, so I think it is justified for guys to call girls "b*tches" when the same thing happens. That's just equality. If people get creeped out / upset about the one, you should also be creeped out / upset by the other.
I agree, just don't call people names.
If he's too "adult" to "text me during the week," whether we had a date or not, he's not that into me, and I'm not interested in that. Period.
@@muppetbrows i'm not even a fan of texting, and i agree! he kinda sounds like he's too cool and doesn't want to make time to date
right but if someone can't be bothered to put bare minimum effort into a message here and there or double checking it's still on then why would she bother going? if you're interested in someone then you would want to talk to them
"....I'm getting nothing, I'm giving nothing." In a dating context that comment is powerful.
That first story, I strongly disagree. It’s not a boundary or expectation if he wasn’t aware of it until after the fact.😂 I’m so glad I’m not single, I can’t imagine having to deal with all these silly “unspoken rules”. If a date is set, it’s set. She could have texted and said “I’m looking forward to our date” or whatever to confirm herself. She seems petty and not in a cute way. Lol
I’m 100% with you on this one, babe. I’m glad I’m hitched and don’t need to be a flingin flangin mind reader anymore.
I don't date, so idk if it's different, but at least with friends, if I'm not sure, I double check. Often the night before or morning of. Then everyone has time to respond and then we all know what's happening. Oftentimes someone else will be the one to message as well. I don't assume someone's cancelled unless they've specifically said so. While both sides could have double checked, I wouldn't just not turn up without saying anything, even if I thought it had been cancelled.
For me it's more that he kept saying about how he's an adult, they're both adults, he's not a kid, blah blah -- but yet, when there was a misunderstanding between him and a lady he claims he was interested in, did he talk it out with her like an adult? He turned around and started talking shit on her on the internet like an immature kid.
Serious predatory behavior when you think you’re owed something for doing something kind or “generous”. (And pure generosity comes from a place of quiet calm and demands nothing in return).
I’ve been sa because I went on a blind date and dude literally told me I owed him.
Edit: be safe. Keep boundaries. Boundaries keep you safe. Always meet people places and take photos of your surrounding and plates to send to safe people. Dating can be dangerous.
My boyfriend of 21 years feels that way though. He also feels that sex is the most important part of a relationship. He's also the kind of guy who doesn't accept no for an answer but gets mad when you bring up the r word. It's too late to break things off we have 5 kids together and they don't want to leave some I'm pretty much stuck.
If your serious leave him I'm also curious why you didn't do it earlier but you need to leave him he's teaching your children that yhe women can't deny intimacy ever and that any boys you have are entitled to it so your letting him raise victims and future racists leave now before you get a 6th
@@XxGothKayxX you staying shows your kids it’s acceptable behavior to give in to someone because they get mad. It shows them that their boundaries are worth less than others. I really encourage you to accept the love Ik you deserve. Because you don’t deserve that. And I know you know you don’t deserve that. If you really value the relationship, then I would be adamant about your boundaries. At first you’ll be the bad guy, but eventually, if he loves you, he’d adjust. I strongly suggest therapy. If not, then even if you’re not married, I strongly suggest a divorce and child custody lawyer. I wish for all the best my love. No judgments here either way, I just wanted you to know what you’re showing your children is okay. As someone who’s been there. As both the child and the mother. I’m rooting for you and let me know if there’s anything I can do to help. 🫶🏼
Edit: it’s been proven socially and psychologically though time, if you are a product of abuse, you’re 70x more likely to repeat the cycle. Be the one to break it while you still can. Decide to love yourself more.
@@abbyward2952 don't know where that racist part came into play but I understand the first parts. My kids are strong willed people and they have already stated that they would never let a guy or girl treat them half as bad as he did me. So I have nothing to worry about there. My oldest is 21 and my youngest is 9 he stopped doing the r word ever since I threatened to leave him he still "touches" me every once in a while when I'm sleeping. But not like before. He takes the no he still has the attitude but now I really don't care. I'm 39 now I met him when I was 17 and he was 23 so he's always had this hold over me.
I moved out of our bedroom so I have my own. It's like people legit always say "why don't you just leave" but they never take into consideration that when you are in a relationship with a controlling passive gaslighting narcissist who makes you out to be a crazy person not to mention you have nowhere to go because you have no friends or family you are pretty much stuck. But yeah thank you for the advice. If you haven't been in a bad situation where you saw no way out you wouldn't be able to begin to understand.
My kids are not learning anything from him thanks for the concern.
None of it happened in front of them.
At least he had the decency to do it while they were asleep or out of the house. My kids have never been and are not in any kind of danger and as I said in other comments things have died down a lot.
They have only seen arguments at best that is all. And many people argue so that's not bad at all.
They just know that they should never date a man like their father.
Remember to always be kind to one another and treat people the way you'd like to be treated. 🖤
There are massive red flags in the 1st story, but not from the guy. On Tuesday they made plans to go on a date on Friday. Not vague "let's get together on Friday" plans, but concrete plans where they decided on a place and a time. He didn't text her the next 2 days, but he did text her Friday morning to say "Happy Friday" and she saw that text & reacted to it. That's not ghosting her. That's not showing a lack of interest on his part. That's just 2 short days. If it had been more like 2 weeks, then Charlotte might have had a point.
Here are the actual red flags:
1. She evidently expects someone who she just met and has never gone out with yet to immediately be so obsessed with her that he's texting her constantly every single day.
2. She makes concrete plans with people and then after just a couple of days assumes based on absolutely nothing that the plans must be cancelled.
3. After assuming for no reason that the plans are cancelled, she gets his text the morning of the plans, and doesn't bother to say anything about her assumption. This is where an adult would have texted him back saying something like "We're still on for tonight?" if they had any doubts in their mind about the plans that they had made.
Dude dodged a major bullet: this is a girl (not a woman, because she needs to do a lot of growing up before I'd consider her an adult - I'd expect her kind of behavior from an 8th grader) who ignores what people actually say, and just makes shit up in her head about what she thinks they really meant.
THIS. 100%. It’s exactly what I’ve been saying in the comments. So glad to know I’m not going crazy!
I wouldn’t do or expect second confirm, and I’m a woman. I’m an adult. We scheduled a date, and I, too, do what I say. This was a red flag on her part, and he dodged a bullet. She essentially stood him up. No wonder so many people would rather not even date; this mess is getting ridiculous.
I have a male friend who used to think buying a woman dinner is paying for sex. Thankfully, he found a woman who kicked him in the proverbial nuts over it. They've been together for around 10 years. Lol
Goes to show even the worst bridge trolls can have a beautiful redemption arc 😂👌
I once was asked out by this girl, it was a very sweet moment. We were out with a bunch of friends in front of everyone she had said all these nice things like, "you are such a nice guy, I love spending time with you, you are the guy of my dreams will you go out with me." I agreed and we went on a few dates, we went to the zoo, out to dinner, went to coffee, and I even met her family and she had met mine. I thought everything was going great. Well I was wrong. I texted her one day and asked her what she'd like to do on our next date and her response was, "um next date? I didn't know we were dating" at this point I'm very confused because again she was the one who asked me out. And it is not like it could have been a misunderstanding because when someone says "you're the man of my dreams, will you go out with me?" There's no room for confusion. I kindly brought up her asking me out and the dates we had gone on and she was like, "I never said that and I was just going to those places to be nice. I'm not looking for a relationship right now. We can be friends though." I was completely shocked. I would have been fine if she had just said I'm not ready for a relationship or that she just wasn't interested anymore, but that's not what she said. She had to pretend we never dated which I find very rude and very tacky. I responded with "I'm sorry but I just can't" and then proceeded to delete her number and never saw her again. I don't know if I would have responded the same way now but at the time I was a young teenager who hated confrontation, so maybe there was a world that I could have handled it better, but I'm also glad I didn't stick around. I don't need that kind of delusion in my life.
Years have passed since that breakup and now I'm happily married with a baby on the way, so to all the lovely people who are going through bad breakups right now, don't worry you will find the right person at the right time. Much love to you all
Men and women have issues. This girl is crazy
If it makes you feel better, the story did feel like a teenager story. You eventually mentioning it just confirmed it.
It's quite possible she meant what she said, but then her mind/feelings changed or someone else popped up in the scene... and perhaps she did not do well with confrontation either...
A lot happens during the teenageryears :)
Best of luck to your little family!
It just sounded like she was young and immature. Maybe she had some mental stuff going on or something you just weren't aware of. Either way, everything happens for a reason and your life now is a testament to that.
Sounds like she listed for you and when that faded, she was no longer interested and that was her immature way of handling it. It just wasn't meant to be! You did a great job at taking the high road! Nothing more needed to be said.