1. Life Experience - communication, relationships, etc. 2. Future planning & having goals versus just instant gratification 3. Emotional regulation, maturity, etc. 4. Gentlemanly gestures - respect, politeness, etc. 5. Authenticity of self
I really liked the part where Courtney mentioned "confidence", which is something everyone always says, but then how she followed that up with "knowledge and skill" and explained *why* the man has the confidence. This makes so much sense. Women do find confidence attractive, but it is just the surface thing. I think the structure holding up the confidence - the man's wisdom, skill, competence, capability, independence, self-assuredness, etc - paint a much more solid picture of an attractive man than him just being "confident".
Future planning and having goals lol.... You can't even buy a house anymore without a super high income aka trust fund, family connections, win the lottery, rock star, famous athlete, etc. Modern women seriously don't give a crap about any traditional financial discipline, just whoever wins the 1% game through pure luck.
@@danielrobey1759 It shouldn't be much time wasted. In my experience, high value women who respect those qualities are pretty easy to identify quickly. If someone is spending weeks, months or years and doesn't know what their partner values, there might be a few more things going on that need to be addressed.
Being a really old guy I can affirm that you have done your homework Courtney. The one point I would like to make is that all of these characteristics have to be second nature to your character. If you haven't developed these traits as yet, don't try to fake it. You either have them or you don't. They take time to develop and they don't always go in the right direction. So keep in mind the positive aspects of these qualities as what will be attractive to the ladies. The one thing that jumped out at me was the gentlemanly gestures. I learned at an early age, like teenage years, to be a gentleman at all times. It has stayed with me throughout my life and has served me well with everyone I meet. Being polite and respectful should be a common practice but unfortunately it isn't as common as it used to be. Some people see my politeness and respect as weakness and think I'm some sort of pushover. That isn't the case. There is a time and place for being nice to people and other times when being nice is not on my plate. There is a big difference between a reaction and a response and that knowledge comes with years of experience. Just my two cents.
An elderly person gave me this solid and meaningful piece of advice that I wanted to share today: "Regardless of your age, always think with your head, not with your heart..."
I have been doing this, hence single as most decisions men and women make are emotional, short term, lust fuelled, ethereal moments of excitement. After the novelty comes real life and that's what people hate to deal with.
@@BheeOrgh I have been single for the last few years because I wanted to focus on personal and professional growth. I do intend to start dating again because I know that I don't want to stay single forever, and I know I am in a better position to keep a functioning relationship with a woman who wants more than just instant gratification.
@@lawrence31415 I'm not going to suggest that you distrust any women you chose but I am going to hope that you are wiser than most, do not give power to your emotions and whilst love is different for all, don't let it be your all for soon, you may find that you have nothing for all the love you have given.
non of this matters if the initial attraction is 99% based on physical traits? In simple terms, just verify if you check off any of the woman's '666' rule traits.
Thank You again, I'm mentally ill and live alone but your words of experience and genuine good will are very comforting to this (odd) 62 year old male.
Important things: 0:52 First Thing ÷ They Have Experience; 2:23 Second Thing ÷ Future Planning And Stability; 5:17 Third Thing ÷ Non - Reactivity; 7:02 Fourth Thing ÷ Gentlemanly Gestures; 8:19 Fifth Thing ÷ Authenticity; and 10:34 to summarize all the told here. Since you mentioned Gentlemanly Gestures Courtney, I have to say that some of the gestures are quite normal where I come from. And when I say that, I mean the following things. In Balkan peninsula if you see and elder men, or elder women (for example) in public transportation (in busses, etc.), you stand up and you concede the place to them, so they can have a sit. Also goes if they see for example pregnant women, or women carrying baby. I remember once that I saw one quote that goes like this: Maturity has nothing to do with ages, but it has with situations and circumstances that change us during the life.
A video on substance. Simple but gold. Experience is a great teacher. For many men it’s the doing (not the being told) that finally gets across to them.
My first wife was older than me by 4 years. My second wife is 10 years younger. When I was younger, I was attracted to older women. Now that I am old, I prefer younger women at least 8 years younger. Some men might feel the same way.
@@Philllysteak Man, it’s probably due at least in part to a perception of less games and being more serious about what they want. I’m not necessarily into women older than myself by more than a couple years, but depending on the individual I can entertain the idea of someone up to 10 years younger (I’m 39) or so. Maybe more or less, but it’s less about their age and more about them as an individual.
(Proverbs 3:13-15) Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold. She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her. It only makes sense that good women find experience/wisdom attractive in a man.
@@Tony-p1i5s I dont disagree with the beauty of both men and women virgins marrying. But that is not the point of the verse. The verse is specifically about wisdom. I think it is wise to be a virgin and marry a virgin, but again thats not what the verse is in relation to. Its about wisdom or in today's terms, experience. There is great value in having wisdom and why it is attractive.
Honestly, the more i watch stuff like this, the common theme is treat her like a 15 year old daughter. Dont get mad at her, don't let her experience emotional stress, don't hold her accountable to her actions, plan her future, support her financially and emotionally completely, dont be an emotional burden, etc, etc. So, essentially, if you want a relationship with a woman, prepare yourself to accept the responsibility of taking care of a 15 year old child who wants to feel powerful, but doesn't want any of the responsibility of life.
I was glad to see patience was one of the traits listed here, as that is one thing I've had to learn as I grew older, so that's encouraging to see here that that is an attractive trait.
Nothing beats experience. Relationships will always have issues, and if you confront those issues, the woman may become emotional, attack you - and so on. You have to stay respectful. Doing this takes practice. Nothing beats practice. Most men avoid the issues and think that's the same thing. No, you have to face them, let her do her damage, and stay rational. You cannot stop a woman from becoming emotional. You can control your reaction. Women want to be emotional, and they'll have their guard up, often. If you show that they are safe to drop their guard, they'll do it all the time. Then, the passion comes.
By the time I was 27, I was 1) married, 2) was promoted to the rank of Captain of U.S. Marines, 3) had two little kids, 4) purchased our first new home, 5) had lived for 3 years on Okinawa with my wife and daughter, our son was born 5 months before we rotated back to the United States, 6) was extremely physically fit; and 7) had a serious job where mission failure was never and option 😊
Issue is today we as a society don't insist on younger growing up (so many don't insist on there offspring take responsibility for there actions) Adulting former generations were made to grow up.
I was told in college that opening doors for women is displaying my dominance and privilege and women don't like it. Any other polite thing is looked at that way. If I do or don't, I'm an evil man so I'm curious about thoughts there. I disagree and I don't listen, but this is what is being taught in college.
Do it every time! Don't stop being a gentlemen, and if she gets upset about it, run! That is a quick and easy way to weed out the crazies. If you're lucky, it'll happen at the start of the date and save you the bill. ;)
In terms of the gentleman gestures, as a guy, I think if a young man doesn’t do those things, it’s not that he ACTIVELY decides to not do them, it might be more of he is unaware/doesn’t know that’s something that women like.
I am 40, and getting all the more attention than ever before. It was surprising for me. I consider myself much more sorted compared to my younger self. However, I continue to look for a quality woman who seeks more than just physical attraction.
Word of warning. I'm getting attention too, now that I am 40ish. MOST of the attention is from women who want me to bankroll them, fix their bad choices, or hand them luxury. Very few actually want a partnership. Date young (21). Less baggage that way.
I haven't been to your channel in forever and I'm so proud how your channel has grown. I remember watching when you had 9k followers. Seeing now, definitely well-deserved and I see that rock! Congratulations on your marriage as well.
Its my opinion that these traits emerge from responsibility as a father. Its a trial by fire. The man that emerges does not really suffer fools for very long. This man is not for weak women.
"Women are often attracted to authenticity because it conveys honesty, sincerity and genuine emotion" That is a lovely thought, but it's not true. In reality, that's a ticket to the "friend zone." Besides that obvious fail, the rest of the video is very good!
@cisium1184 don’t worry bro, I turned 67 last month and still get mistaken for 50’s all the time! You’re as young as you feel and I’m getting younger every day! Keep telling yourself that and you never get old, my crazy brain actually believes it! And I’m looking for someone closer to my age to play with these days, younger chics are too well…young! 😂😂
@@kmcd1000 This should have been a 15 second video. We gals want someone with money or power. Or both. Extra points if you're good looking. Thanks for watcihing.
The "Older" traits is really just being less and acting less like a cartoon character. Not everything has to be loud and center stage. Not everything has to be Reality TV material. Not everything has to be theatrical. Not everything has to be about me. What's really sad is seeing 50's and 60's Peter Pans still reminiscing about their young days.
@@GucciButNotGuilty Not wrong. But sad if that's all the old Peter Pan ever talks about. As in you feel bad for the guy because Wendy, John, Michael and the Lost Boys all grew up and moved and he's all alone in neverland.
I got ya peter pan. Sometimes she jus a bitch. Ever look at it that way?? Maybe she hung up on her kids. Kinda Done wit men? Jus wanna try cuZ she bored? Ok playa be cool.
Ya right. You are too inexperienced to realize how far you have to go. The first step is a little humility, then you will realize where you need to start.
@@williamottersberg6684 what a bitter response. I know where I am at. And, as stated in my initial comment, I know I have room to grow. Chill with the doubt and lets both grow together.
One significant problem many women face (and men too, to an extent) is, they want to be in their "party-good-time mode" in their 20's/30's then expect to flip a switch when they prefer a more mature/stable life, but they wasted too much time, and those high-quality men have already paired with high-quality women. Then they'll wonder why they are treated differently, and fully expect other people to ignore their past-actions. We are all judged by our words, our actions, and how we conduct ourselves in the world.
That last bit: its hard work, but worth it. That's open to question. If I'm doing all this to impress some woman down the road, seems like a lot of pointless effort. I made plans when young, but most did not succeed. I remember a passage from a book I once read. (I remember the name if the book, but I won't report it here. Not important, imo.) The passage said, "women like men who are generative." Ie, men who create, build, plan, have ideas for the future, etc. Though I imagine guys who actually do these things and not just with crazy impossible dreams. I'm an old man, but I still have plans for the future. Things I want to do, build, create. For me, a woman is a complement to a good life, not the goal or object. Family is also complementary. My goals always come first in my life.
I will never forget the one time I opened the door for a woman at a store and she went to the next door saying “I can open it myself. “ that hurt me for a long time. Fortunately, I eventually met a wonderful woman that I spent 40 years with as my wife. Since I’ve lost her, I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone else not at this stage of my life.
I am curious to hear your thoughts on why more men are showing less chivalry these days. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with showing chivalry because it demonstrates class. But, I do believe that we are living in a time where there are more men and women who do not know how to show and/or appreciate class.
Chivalry is an honor that gentlemen bestow upon ladies. And there are almost zero ladies anymore. If I meet a lady, a traditional woman, then she'll have the gift of my utmost chivalrous behavior. But I doubt I'll ever meet an actual lady again in my lifetime who isn't already married. Women told us for 60 years that we aren't needed and aren't wanted. They're our equals and probably our betters. They've told us that we're nothing but oppressors and perpetrators. Why in the world would I reward that with chivalry? No thanks. Open your own door.
Most of the traits of chivalry assumed that women were the weaker sex and needed a man's protection. Once we begin to view women a equals than there is no need for the chivalry. Women are capable of opening doors, and why does it matter who walks on what side of the sidewalk? If I see a woman with a flat tire on the side of the road, I assume she is capable of calling AAA and doesn't need my help. Additionally, I know most women would prefer to encounter a bear than a man they don't know, so I will respect their wishes and leave them alone. Chivalry is dead, let's begin an era of equality.
I will note, as a single man who just turned 30, do these sort of behaviors toward everyone, being kind to all, and not as a life-hack for getting a girlfriend/partner. A partner isn't a guarantee, but you will make the world a better place if you treat others and yourself with kindness and thoughtfulness, regardless of romantic "success."
Great video Courtney! I have a couple of comments about the Gentlemanly gestures: I was taught (by my mother) to walk on the side closest to the street when walking with a woman. Many women today don't know this ettiquette (or the reason for it) and it's nice when women either know, or are cool with it. Nothing is more unattractive than women who do not accept gentlemanly gestures. I have modified that ettiquette at times for the following reasons: Because of people these days (especially women) getting randomly hit while walking down the sidewalk/street, I like to place myself between my GF and people walking towards us in the opposite direction. I am also left-handed, so I like to hold my GF's hand with my right hand, so that my dominant hand is free to block/punch/create distance between us and would-be aggressors. This might sound a bit extreme, but I have traveled all over the world and have had relatively little problems because I make myself (and my partner) hard targets for that type of stuff. Again, women that know are most often appreciative of a man acting this way in public. Just my two cents!
Great points apart from the chivalry and being polite to women. As a 40 year old dude, society has beaten me into submission not to do things like opening the doors, helping with heavy bags or giving my seat on a train. I have personally been on the end of this when I got looked at in a weird way, told not to assume that I am stronger or that I think that I am better than her. This has also been the experience of some of my male friends. Hence we all stopped doing any of the instinctual things we would normally want to do. To all of the women that are ok with a stranger helping you with something you have to speak to other women to figure out consistent messaging. Yes, other women have ruined it for you.
I went to an activity by my church with single adults and a girl I was talking to with crutches wanted to sit and watch a game others were playing so she got up to sit at a chair next to me and I pulled it out and turned it around so she could face the game. I normally don't do this, I am very shy and have been working for months to open up. These videos have helped me to put out there more of the things you say girls like. So I'm trying. I don't particularly like this girl, I am just trying to get to the point where I do all the right things that I possibly can so when a girl I like comes along, maybe I'll have a chance.
Women must also understand that if the older man have all the desired traits as called out in this video, then those men will not allow women weasel out of any bad behavior. Are women ready for that challenge?
I hope I find a girl who is attracted to me for my future planning and financial freedom. It seems all girls my age (I’m 24 and will be 25 in august) are all party girls… you going out to bars drinking and smoking weed. I rarely come across a dating app profile saying “looking for a long term relationship” it’s always either “short term” fun or “still figuring it out”.
I will start by saying that I completely agree with everything Courtney said in the video. I would counter by saying that everyone is an individual, I for one married a (slightly) older woman and we have remained married a long, long time. When I ask her why she liked me, she explained that she had been dating older men and found them unadventurous, set in their ways and unwilling to try new things. My wife and I are very active. We both (especially in younger years) loved skiing, hiking, dancing and biking. That probably had something to do with it. I think the most important thing is that everyone is unique, and different people are attracted to different things. Courtney, if you read this might you consider a video about women who prefer younger men? Might be interesting.
I'm in my late thirties, and women in their early twenties are more attracted to me now than they were when I was in my twenties. In other words, as our age gap widens, they become more attracted to me. They don't want boys, and guys their age have no idea how to show respect or leadership. I didn't know how to show those things when I was that age. They love my confidence, and it's very important that I'm kind. Older women are feistier (more assertive), and younger women require something more gentle.
Having personality. Having solid mental frame. Having a masculine presence&frame (body). Not being nihilistic ☝☝ I'm above avg with everything but my height and i don't have to spend anything to get women to come over. You're likely just not fun to be around, and can't command attention when you enter a room
Agree with the list. This is one of the reasons why meeting outside of dating apps is advantageous. On an app, there may be a large fraction of women inaccessible to men due to them setting narrow age filters. In person, emotional maturity and compatibility makes age less of a factor between two adults.
Hello Courtney. It's lovely to hear you as always. And... I think I can vouch for your words. I'm 32, and growing in these traits and I can feel the difference. But of course I have lots of space to grow further. :)
I believe in being a gentleman opening doors for my wife the car door for instance standing whenshe leaves the table and returns ,and flowers just to say I love you when you've got the best you need to treat Her like a lady and also implement kindness in your every day routine to others you come in contact with men ,women and children ,Thank you for the video it was very informative God Bless you
Just set some goals in life like becoming a better actor (as in my case). I never stop practicing, I act on stage, I act in front of the cameras, I work on my voice and pronunciation, etc. Women love good actors 😊
hi courtney, i find your channel interesting and informative even though i may not follow every bit of your advise , ( i still like my cargo shorts), two questions please, what is your opinion of track suits and or at what age should men stop wearing them, thank you respectfully.
Teach me, master. I’m 43, got divorced 13 years ago, I’ve been learning a lot thanks to Courtney’s videos. I’m in shape, well job, have a teen kid which is my life but he’s moving for college in one year and after a couple of dead end relationships I feel lost.
Thank you, Courtney, totally agree. My mother had a choice between an Army Captain/Major (?) and my father, a Naval Midshipman, and chose my father because "he had better manners." Which especially struck as he grew up very poor, which proves manners are not merely a matter of wealth.
Here's the thing, having money won't guarantee that a woman will select you (I know a guy who makes 250k but can't get a girl), however making less money than a woman will eliminate you from a woman's options.
Just turned 23 and I am experiencing the attention and the much more desired dynamic of being with younger woman like 18-20. I remember when I turned 18, I realized I am now competing with 25 and even 30 year old men lol.
I have the bitterness of an old man and have been complaining about "kids today" since I was like eight (even though most of those "kids" have often been my age or older than me). In my experience, MY old-man traits are NOT a turn-on, haha.
I think older people who are NOT a know-it-all and are willing to learn/accept when they are wrong are some of the best people to be around, irrespective of gender.
Being an older man myself i found this rather interesting and for a few minutes filled me with hope. But then i suddenly remembered what happened when i walked past this younger woman at work yestarday and i had the cheek to say good morning to her.. Apart from being totally ignored i got that (How dare he speak to me) look.. Jesus christ anyone would think i'd asked the woman to marry me. But then again it just tells me what i've been saying all along there are no decent women out there and they are all full of shit. I bet if i had been a super fit young hot guy she would have said morning back to me.
This "Older traits" thing might be true for guys too (it'd be great if you can do a video on this Courtney :) For one, I've always gotten along better with older women/girls, even way back when I was 8-9. Girls my age often felt too fickle emotionally, engrossed over the silliest things. It made me feel like I'm babysitting someone much younger 😅- trying to be extra careful with my words, be interested and amused, rather than talking to someone my equal. Infact I get along better with younger women because I get into the conversation with my expectations already at an appropriate level. That said, now in my early 30s things have gotten a bit more interesting. I've met some women my age who are leagues more mature, and then there's those who are even more childish than the ones I remember from my teens 🤣 You know they say, men are kids at heart their whole life. I feel woman have this certain age like 30, where they get to do this quantum jumps in maturity. Well, if they chose to XD Anyways my weird experiences aside, here's what I learned from this video: Older man traits that are attractive for women-- - Competence in something, an open outlook and willingness to learn. - Long term planner with Clear goals. - Composure, patience. Emotional Stability. - Considerate gestures. - Comfortable with who you are.
Just turned 39, always traveled alone but been invited & included to many things. There's more to world than dating a woman, gravitate to what's been positive in your life & take that off the table if you have to. Not sure where I'm going with this but know they're too interested and I don't want them.
Some of us " Older Men " were taught something called " Courtesy " when we were younger that carries on. Not only for women, but the elderly, and children. Any young jerk that's too busy looking at his cell phone, either hasn't been taught, or is just a jerk that doesn't know how to hold a door for someone, or say " Excuse me. " when they bump into someone in public or cut in front of them.
I’m an older guy & do well in all these categories EXCEPT having the future goals & stability. I’m such an instant gratification & fly by my pants kind of guy. It’s a big flaw of mine..a man should have a plan.
The last one depends of the girl, she won't really know or see that until she actually starts dating the guy, and even then she has to be fairly proactive about it.
I am 44 but I look way younger (good genes). At church yesterday, I mentioned my age and some people said they thought I was in my early to mid 30s. I wonder if there is any liability to that.
00:01📝 Courtney Ryan discusses attractive traits in older men. 00:12💬 Not all older men possess these traits, but they are commonly valued. 01:05🎯 Experience in various areas: confidence and skill are attractive to women. 02:26📅 Future planning and stability are appealing for long-term relationships. 05:17🧠 Non-reactivity: emotional maturity and stress management are valued by women. 06:52🎩 Gentlemen gestures: acts like opening doors show respect and courtesy. 08:22💡 Authenticity: being genuine and self-aware attracts sincerity and connection.
Get 25% off your first month of Ritual by using my link: www.ritual.com/COURTNEYRYAN25
Thanks Ritual for sponsoring a portion of this video!
I don't want to be old though!!!
ffs, you don't need vitamin pills if you have a healthy diet....
1. Life Experience - communication, relationships, etc.
2. Future planning & having goals versus just instant gratification
3. Emotional regulation, maturity, etc.
4. Gentlemanly gestures - respect, politeness, etc.
5. Authenticity of self
I really liked the part where Courtney mentioned "confidence", which is something everyone always says, but then how she followed that up with "knowledge and skill" and explained *why* the man has the confidence. This makes so much sense. Women do find confidence attractive, but it is just the surface thing. I think the structure holding up the confidence - the man's wisdom, skill, competence, capability, independence, self-assuredness, etc - paint a much more solid picture of an attractive man than him just being "confident".
Authenticity of self; whatever does that mean...
@@emillyyelen5169 being comfortable in your skin without worrying what other people think of you... I think lol
Future planning and having goals lol.... You can't even buy a house anymore without a super high income aka trust fund, family connections, win the lottery, rock star, famous athlete, etc. Modern women seriously don't give a crap about any traditional financial discipline, just whoever wins the 1% game through pure luck.
@@emillyyelen5169 Explained 8:21 to 9:27, did you not understand or didn't see/listen?
Annnnd I learned the hard way, you need a girl who is mature enough to appreciate a guy who has their stuff together.
Annnnd if they don't, there's likely not a future together anyway, so win-win
Same! thats a year gone...
@@MileHighGrowleryes but it's the time wasted and the damage done, even if you don't get hurt it can make one cynical, jaded....
Ah yes I have heard of these girls, although your odds of finding a unicorn are more likely now a days lol
@@danielrobey1759 It shouldn't be much time wasted. In my experience, high value women who respect those qualities are pretty easy to identify quickly. If someone is spending weeks, months or years and doesn't know what their partner values, there might be a few more things going on that need to be addressed.
Being a really old guy I can affirm that you have done your homework Courtney. The one point I would like to make is that all of these characteristics have to be second nature to your character. If you haven't developed these traits as yet, don't try to fake it. You either have them or you don't. They take time to develop and they don't always go in the right direction. So keep in mind the positive aspects of these qualities as what will be attractive to the ladies. The one thing that jumped out at me was the gentlemanly gestures. I learned at an early age, like teenage years, to be a gentleman at all times. It has stayed with me throughout my life and has served me well with everyone I meet. Being polite and respectful should be a common practice but unfortunately it isn't as common as it used to be. Some people see my politeness and respect as weakness and think I'm some sort of pushover. That isn't the case. There is a time and place for being nice to people and other times when being nice is not on my plate. There is a big difference between a reaction and a response and that knowledge comes with years of experience. Just my two cents.
An elderly person gave me this solid and meaningful piece of advice that I wanted to share today: "Regardless of your age, always think with your head, not with your heart..."
I have been doing this, hence single as most decisions men and women make are emotional, short term, lust fuelled, ethereal moments of excitement. After the novelty comes real life and that's what people hate to deal with.
Better yet, think with your big head and not your little head. ;)
@@BheeOrgh I have been single for the last few years because I wanted to focus on personal and professional growth. I do intend to start dating again because I know that I don't want to stay single forever, and I know I am in a better position to keep a functioning relationship with a woman who wants more than just instant gratification.
@@TroutButter that's a good one; a pearl of wisdom to share down the road when I am an old man! 😂
@@lawrence31415 I'm not going to suggest that you distrust any women you chose but I am going to hope that you are wiser than most, do not give power to your emotions and whilst love is different for all, don't let it be your all for soon, you may find that you have nothing for all the love you have given.
Summary :-
1.experience with variety of things
2.future planning and stability
3.non reactivity
4.gentlemen gestures
5.authenticity
non of this matters if the initial attraction is 99% based on physical traits? In simple terms, just verify if you check off any of the woman's '666' rule traits.
6. Be attractive- Most of that literally only works if you’re already attractive.
Why doesn't the content creator put these into detail or time stamps?
@@ahmetahmet5638more importantly, why does the content creator delete msgs for calling out their bs "advise"?
Thank you appreciate I don't want to sit through 20 min video for 5 things
Thank You again, I'm mentally ill and live alone but your words of experience and genuine good will are very comforting to this (odd) 62 year old male.
Hugs! 🤍
We’re all mentally ill if we think a woman wont cheat.
I don’t comment very often but thank you for your keen insights. I applied a few things and the date was amazing. You know your stuff!
Oh this makes me so happy to hear! ❤️
Important things: 0:52 First Thing ÷ They Have Experience; 2:23 Second Thing ÷ Future Planning And Stability; 5:17 Third Thing ÷ Non - Reactivity; 7:02 Fourth Thing ÷ Gentlemanly Gestures; 8:19 Fifth Thing ÷ Authenticity; and 10:34 to summarize all the told here.
Since you mentioned Gentlemanly Gestures Courtney, I have to say that some of the gestures are quite normal where I come from. And when I say that, I mean the following things. In Balkan peninsula if you see and elder men, or elder women (for example) in public transportation (in busses, etc.), you stand up and you concede the place to them, so they can have a sit. Also goes if they see for example pregnant women, or women carrying baby.
I remember once that I saw one quote that goes like this: Maturity has nothing to do with ages, but it has with situations and circumstances that change us during the life.
A video on substance. Simple but gold. Experience is a great teacher. For many men it’s the doing (not the being told) that finally gets across to them.
I'd much rather be a gentleman, and I'm fortunate to know enough women who appreciate it.
Are you married to one of them ?
I turned 24 it's time to watch this 🤣
Bro I just turned 24 a week ago😅
45 here, you gents have PLENTY of time!
Must be nice! I just turned 33 lol
@@billsage6039 where you at in life tho? career, kids, love?
Oh jeez, 24 is old?? I hope not 😂
My first wife was older than me by 4 years. My second wife is 10 years younger. When I was younger, I was attracted to older women. Now that I am old, I prefer younger women at least 8 years younger. Some men might feel the same way.
But how old is your girlfriend 😉
this is normal -- men are wired to seek women who are fit, fertile, and feminine -- most women lose all these things with age
Matthew McConaughey: “I get older, girls just stay the same age.”
Im 22 liking women from 26-38 why is that
@@Philllysteak Man, it’s probably due at least in part to a perception of less games and being more serious about what they want. I’m not necessarily into women older than myself by more than a couple years, but depending on the individual I can entertain the idea of someone up to 10 years younger (I’m 39) or so. Maybe more or less, but it’s less about their age and more about them as an individual.
(Proverbs 3:13-15) Blessed is the one who finds wisdom, and the one who gets understanding, for the gain from her is better than gain from silver and her profit better than gold. She is more precious than jewels, and nothing you desire can compare with her.
It only makes sense that good women find experience/wisdom attractive in a man.
That's the bible referring to a virgin woman not to be confused with a modern woman.
@@Tony-p1i5s Incorrect, its the Bible talking about wisdom
@joshm3297 wisdom and a virgin woman remember the bible says to marry a virgin.
@@Tony-p1i5s I dont disagree with the beauty of both men and women virgins marrying. But that is not the point of the verse. The verse is specifically about wisdom. I think it is wise to be a virgin and marry a virgin, but again thats not what the verse is in relation to. Its about wisdom or in today's terms, experience. There is great value in having wisdom and why it is attractive.
Blessed Sunday Everyone🙏
There are a lot of women out there worried to much about finances, so true.
💯
Very true. So how do you fix this?
Honestly, the more i watch stuff like this, the common theme is treat her like a 15 year old daughter. Dont get mad at her, don't let her experience emotional stress, don't hold her accountable to her actions, plan her future, support her financially and emotionally completely, dont be an emotional burden, etc, etc. So, essentially, if you want a relationship with a woman, prepare yourself to accept the responsibility of taking care of a 15 year old child who wants to feel powerful, but doesn't want any of the responsibility of life.
I was glad to see patience was one of the traits listed here, as that is one thing I've had to learn as I grew older, so that's encouraging to see here that that is an attractive trait.
I started of young as a shepherd boy when I was seven then a caddy boy from ten to eighteen, you are great, Courtney Ryan Ma'am !
Nothing beats experience.
Relationships will always have issues, and if you confront those issues, the woman may become emotional, attack you - and so on. You have to stay respectful.
Doing this takes practice. Nothing beats practice.
Most men avoid the issues and think that's the same thing. No, you have to face them, let her do her damage, and stay rational.
You cannot stop a woman from becoming emotional.
You can control your reaction.
Women want to be emotional, and they'll have their guard up, often.
If you show that they are safe to drop their guard, they'll do it all the time. Then, the passion comes.
By the time I was 27, I was 1) married, 2) was promoted to the rank of Captain of U.S. Marines, 3) had two little kids, 4) purchased our first new home, 5) had lived for 3 years on Okinawa with my wife and daughter, our son was born 5 months before we rotated back to the United States, 6) was extremely physically fit; and 7) had a serious job where mission failure was never and option 😊
Issue is today we as a society don't insist on younger growing up (so many don't insist on there offspring take responsibility for there actions) Adulting former generations were made to grow up.
I was told in college that opening doors for women is displaying my dominance and privilege and women don't like it. Any other polite thing is looked at that way. If I do or don't, I'm an evil man so I'm curious about thoughts there. I disagree and I don't listen, but this is what is being taught in college.
Do it every time! Don't stop being a gentlemen, and if she gets upset about it, run! That is a quick and easy way to weed out the crazies. If you're lucky, it'll happen at the start of the date and save you the bill. ;)
In terms of the gentleman gestures, as a guy, I think if a young man doesn’t do those things, it’s not that he ACTIVELY decides to not do them, it might be more of he is unaware/doesn’t know that’s something that women like.
I am 40, and getting all the more attention than ever before. It was surprising for me. I consider myself much more sorted compared to my younger self. However, I continue to look for a quality woman who seeks more than just physical attraction.
Too old. Nobody wants old man
@@lalosalamanca8574 😂 ok
@@lalosalamanca8574 He just said that plenty of women do. You're trying to be offensive but you're just a failure.
Word of warning. I'm getting attention too, now that I am 40ish. MOST of the attention is from women who want me to bankroll them, fix their bad choices, or hand them luxury. Very few actually want a partnership. Date young (21). Less baggage that way.
@@lalosalamanca8574 Is that true? I mean maybe not in my early 20s.But girls in their late 20s will like I guess.
I haven't been to your channel in forever and I'm so proud how your channel has grown. I remember watching when you had 9k followers. Seeing now, definitely well-deserved and I see that rock! Congratulations on your marriage as well.
Its my opinion that these traits emerge from responsibility as a father. Its a trial by fire. The man that emerges does not really suffer fools for very long. This man is not for weak women.
"Women are often attracted to authenticity because it conveys honesty, sincerity and genuine emotion" That is a lovely thought, but it's not true. In reality, that's a ticket to the "friend zone." Besides that obvious fail, the rest of the video is very good!
Thanks for grouping us fiftysomethings in with the 70-year-olds. I was due for a good ego-stomp this morning.😉 😅 (kidding)
@cisium1184 don’t worry bro, I turned 67 last month and still get mistaken for 50’s all the time! You’re as young as you feel and I’m getting younger every day! Keep telling yourself that and you never get old, my crazy brain actually believes it! And I’m looking for someone closer to my age to play with these days, younger chics are too well…young! 😂😂
1. Money
2. Resources
3. Stability
4. Wealth
5. Security
6. Capital
7. Currency
8. Coins
9. Shekels
10. Experience
Yes, true statement. Can't buy happiness at Walmart. It just depends where you shop.
Yep! They only want the cash.
@@kmcd1000 This should have been a 15 second video. We gals want someone with money or power. Or both. Extra points if you're good looking. Thanks for watcihing.
The "Older" traits is really just being less and acting less like a cartoon character. Not everything has to be loud and center stage. Not everything has to be Reality TV material. Not everything has to be theatrical. Not everything has to be about me. What's really sad is seeing 50's and 60's Peter Pans still reminiscing about their young days.
Nothing wrong with reminiscing.
@@GucciButNotGuilty Not wrong. But sad if that's all the old Peter Pan ever talks about. As in you feel bad for the guy because Wendy, John, Michael and the Lost Boys all grew up and moved and he's all alone in neverland.
I got ya peter pan.
Sometimes she jus a bitch. Ever look at it that way?? Maybe she hung up on her kids. Kinda Done wit men? Jus wanna try cuZ she bored? Ok playa be cool.
Thank you for the content as always Courtney
Im happy to say I have all of these at 22. Still more room to grow! Lets get it brothers. God bless you all.
Ya right. You are too inexperienced to realize how far you have to go. The first step is a little humility, then you will realize where you need to start.
@@williamottersberg6684 what a bitter response. I know where I am at. And, as stated in my initial comment, I know I have room to grow. Chill with the doubt and lets both grow together.
One significant problem many women face (and men too, to an extent) is, they want to be in their "party-good-time mode" in their 20's/30's then expect to flip a switch when they prefer a more mature/stable life, but they wasted too much time, and those high-quality men have already paired with high-quality women. Then they'll wonder why they are treated differently, and fully expect other people to ignore their past-actions. We are all judged by our words, our actions, and how we conduct ourselves in the world.
That last bit: its hard work, but worth it. That's open to question. If I'm doing all this to impress some woman down the road, seems like a lot of pointless effort. I made plans when young, but most did not succeed.
I remember a passage from a book I once read. (I remember the name if the book, but I won't report it here. Not important, imo.) The passage said, "women like men who are generative." Ie, men who create, build, plan, have ideas for the future, etc. Though I imagine guys who actually do these things and not just with crazy impossible dreams.
I'm an old man, but I still have plans for the future. Things I want to do, build, create.
For me, a woman is a complement to a good life, not the goal or object. Family is also complementary. My goals always come first in my life.
I will never forget the one time I opened the door for a woman at a store and she went to the next door saying “I can open it myself. “ that hurt me for a long time. Fortunately, I eventually met a wonderful woman that I spent 40 years with as my wife. Since I’ve lost her, I don’t think I’ll ever find anyone else not at this stage of my life.
Well done 👏 Also, I took advice on wearing a watch from one of your other videos, and I've noticed more women noticing me!
The ability to evaluate non verbal cues exibited by others, is very important in both casual and intimate relationships.
Great video! Some excellent points
Nice job
I am curious to hear your thoughts on why more men are showing less chivalry these days. In my opinion, there is nothing wrong with showing chivalry because it demonstrates class. But, I do believe that we are living in a time where there are more men and women who do not know how to show and/or appreciate class.
Chivalry is an honor that gentlemen bestow upon ladies.
And there are almost zero ladies anymore. If I meet a lady, a traditional woman, then she'll have the gift of my utmost chivalrous behavior. But I doubt I'll ever meet an actual lady again in my lifetime who isn't already married.
Women told us for 60 years that we aren't needed and aren't wanted. They're our equals and probably our betters. They've told us that we're nothing but oppressors and perpetrators.
Why in the world would I reward that with chivalry?
No thanks. Open your own door.
@@mikey92362facts
Feminism told us you don’t want chivalry. Out it goes…
Most of the traits of chivalry assumed that women were the weaker sex and needed a man's protection. Once we begin to view women a equals than there is no need for the chivalry. Women are capable of opening doors, and why does it matter who walks on what side of the sidewalk? If I see a woman with a flat tire on the side of the road, I assume she is capable of calling AAA and doesn't need my help. Additionally, I know most women would prefer to encounter a bear than a man they don't know, so I will respect their wishes and leave them alone. Chivalry is dead, let's begin an era of equality.
I will note, as a single man who just turned 30, do these sort of behaviors toward everyone, being kind to all, and not as a life-hack for getting a girlfriend/partner. A partner isn't a guarantee, but you will make the world a better place if you treat others and yourself with kindness and thoughtfulness, regardless of romantic "success."
I just came across this video and I was very much intrigued by it and had to become a new subscriber.
Great video Courtney! I have a couple of comments about the Gentlemanly gestures: I was taught (by my mother) to walk on the side closest to the street when walking with a woman. Many women today don't know this ettiquette (or the reason for it) and it's nice when women either know, or are cool with it. Nothing is more unattractive than women who do not accept gentlemanly gestures. I have modified that ettiquette at times for the following reasons: Because of people these days (especially women) getting randomly hit while walking down the sidewalk/street, I like to place myself between my GF and people walking towards us in the opposite direction. I am also left-handed, so I like to hold my GF's hand with my right hand, so that my dominant hand is free to block/punch/create distance between us and would-be aggressors. This might sound a bit extreme, but I have traveled all over the world and have had relatively little problems because I make myself (and my partner) hard targets for that type of stuff. Again, women that know are most often appreciative of a man acting this way in public. Just my two cents!
Thanks so so much, Courtney 🎩. They are all helpful reminders ✅️.
Great points apart from the chivalry and being polite to women. As a 40 year old dude, society has beaten me into submission not to do things like opening the doors, helping with heavy bags or giving my seat on a train. I have personally been on the end of this when I got looked at in a weird way, told not to assume that I am stronger or that I think that I am better than her. This has also been the experience of some of my male friends. Hence we all stopped doing any of the instinctual things we would normally want to do. To all of the women that are ok with a stranger helping you with something you have to speak to other women to figure out consistent messaging. Yes, other women have ruined it for you.
I went to an activity by my church with single adults and a girl I was talking to with crutches wanted to sit and watch a game others were playing so she got up to sit at a chair next to me and I pulled it out and turned it around so she could face the game. I normally don't do this, I am very shy and have been working for months to open up. These videos have helped me to put out there more of the things you say girls like. So I'm trying. I don't particularly like this girl, I am just trying to get to the point where I do all the right things that I possibly can so when a girl I like comes along, maybe I'll have a chance.
Women must also understand that if the older man have all the desired traits as called out in this video, then those men will not allow women weasel out of any bad behavior. Are women ready for that challenge?
Emotional maturity is critical. I have met too many adults that have yet to grow up in thinking and behavior.
Definitely. Imagine dating a man that acts like a child with the emotional response of a teen.
I hope I find a girl who is attracted to me for my future planning and financial freedom. It seems all girls my age (I’m 24 and will be 25 in august) are all party girls… you going out to bars drinking and smoking weed. I rarely come across a dating app profile saying “looking for a long term relationship” it’s always either “short term” fun or “still figuring it out”.
I will start by saying that I completely agree with everything Courtney said in the video. I would counter by saying that everyone is an individual, I for one married a (slightly) older woman and we have remained married a long, long time. When I ask her why she liked me, she explained that she had been dating older men and found them unadventurous, set in their ways and unwilling to try new things. My wife and I are very active. We both (especially in younger years) loved skiing, hiking, dancing and biking. That probably had something to do with it. I think the most important thing is that everyone is unique, and different people are attracted to different things. Courtney, if you read this might you consider a video about women who prefer younger men? Might be interesting.
I'm in my late thirties, and women in their early twenties are more attracted to me now than they were when I was in my twenties.
In other words, as our age gap widens, they become more attracted to me.
They don't want boys, and guys their age have no idea how to show respect or leadership. I didn't know how to show those things when I was that age.
They love my confidence, and it's very important that I'm kind. Older women are feistier (more assertive), and younger women require something more gentle.
Thank you!!
1. Having money 2. Having wealth 3. Having riches 4. Having deep pockets 5. Having affluence
😁👍
Having a hefty package. 🍆
Having personality. Having solid mental frame. Having a masculine presence&frame (body). Not being nihilistic ☝☝
I'm above avg with everything but my height and i don't have to spend anything to get women to come over. You're likely just not fun to be around, and can't command attention when you enter a room
Not giving up. Not succumbing to bitterness. Being positive. Not emoting on other people's time....
Lot of truth
I always come back to this channel just to make sure I'm still on track✨
🥹🤍
Agree with the list. This is one of the reasons why meeting outside of dating apps is advantageous. On an app, there may be a large fraction of women inaccessible to men due to them setting narrow age filters. In person, emotional maturity and compatibility makes age less of a factor between two adults.
Hello Courtney. It's lovely to hear you as always. And... I think I can vouch for your words. I'm 32, and growing in these traits and I can feel the difference. But of course I have lots of space to grow further. :)
I believe in being a gentleman opening doors for my wife the car door for instance standing whenshe leaves the table and returns ,and flowers just to say I love you when you've got the best you need to treat Her like a lady and also implement kindness in your every day routine to others you come in contact with men ,women and children ,Thank you for the video it was very informative God Bless you
Just set some goals in life like becoming a better actor (as in my case). I never stop practicing, I act on stage, I act in front of the cameras, I work on my voice and pronunciation, etc. Women love good actors 😊
Informative and simple. Thanks
A lot of men have learned that old school manner arent valued, in fact they are often discouraged.
hi courtney, i find your channel interesting and informative even though i may not follow every bit of your advise , ( i still like my cargo shorts), two questions please, what is your opinion of track suits and or at what age should men stop wearing them, thank you respectfully.
First of all, thank you for your videos. Do a women traits that men find attractive list pls. Also this is great.
My wife is 26 and im 49 , and loving it Ryan
You're my hero.
Goals
Does she have a sister?
@@FloridaManConstruction😂😂😂😂
Teach me, master. I’m 43, got divorced 13 years ago, I’ve been learning a lot thanks to Courtney’s videos. I’m in shape, well job, have a teen kid which is my life but he’s moving for college in one year and after a couple of dead end relationships I feel lost.
Thank you, Courtney, totally agree. My mother had a choice between an Army Captain/Major (?) and my father, a Naval Midshipman, and chose my father because "he had better manners." Which especially struck as he grew up very poor, which proves manners are not merely a matter of wealth.
Here's the thing, having money won't guarantee that a woman will select you (I know a guy who makes 250k but can't get a girl), however making less money than a woman will eliminate you from a woman's options.
Very good advice to humanity ❤
Great post!!
Idea for an episode: How to wear different kinds of socks for different occasions and pants.
Well done!
Just turned 23 and I am experiencing the attention and the much more desired dynamic of being with younger woman like 18-20.
I remember when I turned 18, I realized I am now competing with 25 and even 30 year old men lol.
I have the bitterness of an old man and have been complaining about "kids today" since I was like eight (even though most of those "kids" have often been my age or older than me). In my experience, MY old-man traits are NOT a turn-on, haha.
I have watched a few of your videos now, and you are very wise :o. Also, thanks for helping me realize a lot of the good qualities I have :D
thanks, Courtney
Wow I'm almost pushing 30 right now and I am watching this video.
I'm 62
I think older people who are NOT a know-it-all and are willing to learn/accept when they are wrong are some of the best people to be around, irrespective of gender.
Being an older man myself i found this rather interesting and for a few minutes filled me with hope. But then i suddenly remembered what happened when i walked past this younger woman at work yestarday and i had the cheek to say good morning to her.. Apart from being totally ignored i got that (How dare he speak to me) look.. Jesus christ anyone would think i'd asked the woman to marry me. But then again it just tells me what i've been saying all along there are no decent women out there and they are all full of shit. I bet if i had been a super fit young hot guy she would have said morning back to me.
I do a majority of this now and I’m 25. Makes sense that a lot of people assume I’m 30+. Just an old soul lol
"we tend to overestimate what we can accomplish in a year, and underestimate what we can achieve in ten"-Tony Robbins
This "Older traits" thing might be true for guys too (it'd be great if you can do a video on this Courtney :)
For one, I've always gotten along better with older women/girls, even way back when I was 8-9. Girls my age often felt too fickle emotionally, engrossed over the silliest things. It made me feel like I'm babysitting someone much younger 😅- trying to be extra careful with my words, be interested and amused, rather than talking to someone my equal. Infact I get along better with younger women because I get into the conversation with my expectations already at an appropriate level.
That said, now in my early 30s things have gotten a bit more interesting. I've met some women my age who are leagues more mature, and then there's those who are even more childish than the ones I remember from my teens 🤣 You know they say, men are kids at heart their whole life. I feel woman have this certain age like 30, where they get to do this quantum jumps in maturity. Well, if they chose to XD
Anyways my weird experiences aside, here's what I learned from this video:
Older man traits that are attractive for women--
- Competence in something, an open outlook and willingness to learn.
- Long term planner with Clear goals.
- Composure, patience. Emotional Stability.
- Considerate gestures.
- Comfortable with who you are.
Thank you.
I've been single for so long now that none of these traits that I have matter .. peace is all there is
A Wonderful Video... Thank You...
Where do I find these women you talk about?
Happy Sunday Courtney.😮
Tomorrow is July, my birthday month.😅
i need to work on cold approaching if i can.😊
Any advice?❤
Happy early birthday! ❤️
@@CourtneyRyan thank you Amiga.
@@CourtneyRyan you forgot to tell them do not put women on pedostole. Your young and naive and immature
The classic I want I want, I’m looking for all these things, but have nothing to return to the relationship.
This is so true. I was a real jerk when I was younger. 😢
Just turned 39, always traveled alone but been invited & included to many things. There's more to world than dating a woman, gravitate to what's been positive in your life & take that off the table if you have to. Not sure where I'm going with this but know they're too interested and I don't want them.
I appreciate that she is married and makes these videos for us dudes.
Great video.
Some of us " Older Men " were taught something called " Courtesy " when we were younger that carries on.
Not only for women, but the elderly, and children.
Any young jerk that's too busy looking at his cell phone, either hasn't been taught, or is just a jerk that doesn't know how to hold a door for someone, or say " Excuse me. " when they bump into someone in public or cut in front of them.
1. Money
2. Power
3. Money
4.Looks
5. Hair
6.Money
7.Money
WTF is WRONG with you? Get counseling
I have to say compared to my younger years and I'm 31 right now. I'd say I am more enlightened and one with the Force.
I’m an older guy & do well in all these categories EXCEPT having the future goals & stability.
I’m such an instant gratification & fly by my pants kind of guy.
It’s a big flaw of mine..a man should have a plan.
Courtney's tha GOAT
The last one depends of the girl, she won't really know or see that until she actually starts dating the guy, and even then she has to be fairly proactive about it.
At what point into a relationship would you start talking. About finances/retirment/the future
I am 44 but I look way younger (good genes). At church yesterday, I mentioned my age and some people said they thought I was in my early to mid 30s. I wonder if there is any liability to that.
00:01📝 Courtney Ryan discusses attractive traits in older men.
00:12💬 Not all older men possess these traits, but they are commonly valued.
01:05🎯 Experience in various areas: confidence and skill are attractive to women.
02:26📅 Future planning and stability are appealing for long-term relationships.
05:17🧠 Non-reactivity: emotional maturity and stress management are valued by women.
06:52🎩 Gentlemen gestures: acts like opening doors show respect and courtesy.
08:22💡 Authenticity: being genuine and self-aware attracts sincerity and connection.
Tks Ryan .🙏🏼.
I'm turning 36 and often get mistaken by women for 25 (hopefully from good genes and good skin). Should I tell them my age or just go with it?