He was furious when I finally walked away. He thought I would just continue to accept the abuse and lies. I began educating myself and left him during one of his rages. I saw the demon behind that mask for the first time. I never went back but he tried his best to hurt me as bad as possible. All it did was make me even more determined to stay gone. So much happier God released me!✝️🙏
The only thing I did right, is not marry her. I always knew something was wrong. She used me for $100k in surgery, trips, and support. She thought she ruined me, but Im selling my house and starting over with no memories of her. I will build my life back better than ever.
I am so sorry for you... I am about to get out of a relationship I started 3 weeks ago... It feels like it's been more like 3yrs... I can't deal with this anymore... It is a done deal 🤝 OVERANDOUT
My biggest shift was, just one day it clicked, I said to myself "You need to take responsibility for your part in this, you know it's not healthy." Over-riding one's intuition will only get louder and louder. Your soul is scream'n at you to listen. Honoring myself, life is short. Be well everyone x
6 months in a semi long distant relationship and she just started the abuse. She tried gaslighting me last night but I am aware of these tactics. Luckily I saw it.
Narc mask always falls off, every time, not a question of "if" but, "when". I saw it, called her out and kicked her out. Thank you for this video! TRUTH!
It took me 9 years and 6 years of marriage and a attempted suicide for her to roll her eyes at me when I told her about my mental health crisis for me to wise up and leave. She broke me down and bad. But, I'm getting better everyday and I will be whole again!
They are stupid really, my ex was anyway he thought I would put up with his crap forever and not realise what he was. He knew he was a narcissist and I am sure I was not the only one that said it to him. Every insult he gave me I knew was a projection on what he thought about himself. His mistake was choosing someone more intelligent than him.
100% CORRECT! I could tell early on there was something not right with the ex narc. He never controlled me. I watched him behave like an asshat and when the time was right, I dumped him. He was in shock and couldn’t understand it 🤣
You are so right Anoushka, She knew I would see through her mask. She kept telling me over the course of the relationship, "...you are too smart" and when I could finally see she would never change, never stop the abuse, I said enough of your gaslighting, I know who I am and I realize you are the one that needs to go so I can have my peace back. I told the NARC, I was happy before you and I'll be happy after you're gone. My mindfulness came back to me like an old friend. The fact that we realize there is something "OFF" about them from the start is spot on Anoushka. Warm Regards, Survivor.
This was sooo on point. I remember thinking to myself and telling others through the divorce that he forgot who he married. I didn't lose myself he thought he'd " trained " me to be what he wanted. Oops got that wrong I didn't stay in the corner in the dark crying. I stood up and fought back. You can too, you are more than they can handle. Thank you for this, 4 years out and thriving better on my own no more being tied down by a needy person.....
@@bestrong-bm9uj not easy to answer your question. Each situation is different. I was married for a looong time, he became someone I didn't recognise all of a sudden ? Collapsed narc. He blamed me for everything so when I no longer felt safe in my own home I left and I filed for divorce, it became self preservation..make sure you're safe be prepared for a fight, stay no contact, get a knowledgeable solicitor and lean on friends and family. Good luck . It took me nearly 2 years, but in the end he threw in the towel, probably realised I was not going to back down ( or he got bored ) I exposed him for the liar he was. Hope this helps, stay strong shoulders back head held high ...
Every situation is different. It took me 2 weeks of not feeling safe in my own home to decide to file for divorce. Yes, I was scared about the outcome, that's what they bank on but I had no other option. His rage and blaming me for everything exposed him. Not the man I married, I divorced a stranger. Good luck
I put up with a so called friend for many years, thinking no one is perfect. Always up and down feelings after talking to her. She yelled at me for the second time, then had the nerve to email me the next day and tell me I can get in touch with her if I want to maintain the friendship. I didn't stoop to her level of listing the things she did, just answered with one word, WOW then blocked her. You are right, she tried to show how needy or dependant I was on her, not true! I am happy to not deal with her ups and downs with me anymore. She sure did underestimate me. I feel so much better. Feel sorry for her though.
My x was really smooth until she slipped up.I realized everything she was accusing me of was what she was doing to me. She started saying I was manipulating and gaslighting her. I googled gaslighting and realized I was dealing with a narcissist and omg every video is spot on with this person. I was caught up in her massive web and she used everything she possibly could to make me feel worthless and empty without her. She was always controlling and then finally I realized I didn’t do anything right and my opinions didn’t matter anymore. Then trying to leave shed flood me with bills and tried to get me to stay because I’d never be able to afford life without her. Narcissists suck and won’t change. Just leave because you will never be right until you do.👍
Same here my friend I got blamed for everything I was controlling I was gaslighting her I googled narcissist and read about reactive abuse and there you have it they mirror you and deflect off them onto you it’s crazy she’s mentally Unstable has multiple personalities angry anxious hits out at me that’s why I left her and went no contact 3 weeks ago she’s still trying to get me to talk to her
Omg yes this! After I went no contact and then learnt what narcissism was I realized a lot of the time she would project words on me and at the time I never thought to look it up I accepted I was the problem and scuffled more for her attention. She would say I’m gaslighting, she would say I’m making her walk on egg shells, she will say I’m being passive aggressive Geez when that mask is off and you see the demon for what they are. The betrayal you feel. But good riddance to bad rubbish. I have not had this much peace of mind in the last 6 years. Shes not my problem anymore
I am connected to myself. I always felt something was so off with him. I didn’t listen to my intuition and I paid deeply. But now I’m free and healing. I understand what a narcissist really is. Such a dangerous person! I nearly lost myself. I am healing and never again. I see who he really is. I’m so much stronger than I ever was before. I’m turning my world around and becoming healthier and happier your so on point. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge.❤
Never ever GO BACK. He will try again in years to come even if he is married ! Mine did for 50 years by telephone, I said sorry wrong number and hung up the phone every time until he died 10 years ago. He never gave up trying to get back with me. I went no contact after 3 years, told him to his face YOUR NOT WORTH THE GROUND YOU STAND ON! Get out and don’t come near me again or you will be God Damn Sorry, You know my Dad was a WW 11 sniper during the war! Still he telephoned me on my birthday Easter Christmas New Years without fail. I married a wonderful man and have children. Never go back !!!!!
I got discarded 7 months ago after a 7yr relationship! It hurt bad and I know why it did! Your channel has taught me so much and now I’m thriving compared to what I was while with his toxic, no it all ass!! Never again!! 👏🙏💪
VERY GOOD INSIGHTS SPOKEN HERE! This channel can help you heal and reconnect you to your EMPATH powers of discernment. You got good practice in discernment while interacting with your “personal” narcissist.
I just got discarded just now after three years of living together. Cheated, lied… every rotten thing you could imagine from a narcissist. When he was good… he was great. But….. wow! PAINFUL 💔
great video as always dear spot on about how these demonic slime think youll never catch on to the deceitful scumbag things theyve done to you and then they play victim.......pathetic weak cowardly liars whose greatest fears are the truth being exposed accountability and self reflection
My husband underestimated me as a wife and business partner. All of his deceit and fraud is going to come to light very soon with a forensic accountant. He is going to collapse when it is all open and in front of a Judge. Bam...He can't run and hide from any of it..
This is absolutely great. People KNOW he's a dam phony but they may not admit it. He shows it on so many levels but when he has a little success he becomes INSUFFERABLE.
I noticed around the 6 month mark that something wasn’t right, he’s a bigger guy and was oozing with confidence. He basically moved into my house and started telling me what milk , bread , butter we are having as that’s what he likes. I’m like buy your own stuff, this is my house. He then decided he would cook tea every night as he wasn’t working, so he could get praised for it. Just a few of many many red flags. I got away from him 3 months ago. Yes I’m guilty of reaching out to him but now I couldn’t care less about him.
@@nancyparker8363 oh okay. I just remember making tea and breakfast dinner for my ex a lot. I didnt expect gratitude though. Just like taking care of my partner.
I cannot tell you how Right U are!!! It’s so scary!!! I am an Empath n feel energy!! My gut told me early on… But never knew about Narcs! Thank you for your knowledge and helping US to learn about Toxic people! We now know what we need to do!
At first, when we did not understand narcissism we were confused. It took me awhile to figure out what was going on. Thank goodness I was only with him a few months and then moved out of state. They really are total fools!!!!!
I broke the narc that tried to ruin my life. I have a lot of sigma traits and her programming got fried. Her mask slipped and I saw. 3 days later she had to make a sharp exit by faking a suicide attempt! "You could have just used the door like everyone else luv!" Her rushed "devalue and discard" phase was completely predictable and frankly LAUGHABLE, especially seeing as I made my grey rock replies humorous! 😂
There TOXIC SUBSTANCES.. WASTE OF TIME, I JUST GRATEFUL SHE DIDN'T GIVE ME A SEXUAL DISEASE.. TOLD HER TO HIT THE BRICK'S AND DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT HER AS I SLAMMED IT IN HER FACE PRETTY YES,, BUT EVIL. SATAN'S SPAWN..
Its a low time for me. I have to keep remembering the accusations. I'm tring to find myself after this toxic relationship. Thank you for this channel. I will keep listening.
After a while I came to the realization that it was me who had allowed her to play me even though she was a walking, talking, breathing red flag in every sense of the word UNTIL I decided I wouldn't put up with her crap anymore, then I got out of that madness FOR GOOD, it's been almost a year since, best decision ever..........👍🙌🙌
My ex-wife discarded me 1 and a half month ago in the cruelest possible way posting a video of her and her new boyfriend on instagram. We are divorced now and after watching a lot of videos on narcissism a lot of things are making sense now like her lack of support, lies, multiple cheatings, emotional deprivation as well as her constant sense of superiority over me. I gave her my very best, love, money, support and got nothing in return. I am healing now and enjoying my single life and taking care of me.
This really strange thing happened with me..i was just simply lying and bed and was trying to understand the person that i was dating.and was just thinking about the fights and everything.All of a sudden i jumped out of bed realising OMG he is a narcissist and that i was dealing with him. Apparently no commucation would work for him, even if I prove him what he did,someone he would deny.😂 I always felt something was off.
He’s homeless now, drinking all the time, having several cheap women, fake friends & a miserable job… I even dreamed about him cheating; the name was even in my dream. I had the gut & intuition to call him out. I didn’t know what a narc is, but it came out of my mouth like deep inside of me sth wanted to say that word😮 All started when my mom passed away. I feel pity for him, im shining & glowing up, having a great self care time & rising in my job & health. In the end of the 6 years i was depressed, miserable… He took my insecurities to break up, not with me my friend, not with me
Thank you, i'm currently going through the healing process. After a 23 year relationship and 2 kids. What you said is exactly on point. It did a while to get here, but I know now exactly what type and who she was. Love is blind! I go through my own personal memory banks and it all starts to make sense. The trouble is in this healing process my emotions such as Love is still directed to her, but I guess that just shows my true nature of kindness and forgiving. Does she deserve it, that's where I find myself, on the fence! But reality is, first day I move out. Is the first day, she moves in her new boyfriend to take my place! I deserve better than that.. just wish I could heal faster!
I'm a member of the club Mark and you know what really hurts is we made a very bad investment thinking it was a winner. We placed our faith on a fake and it turned up snake eyes. All those yrs. wasted when we might have found a true winner with a righteous soul. Pathetic.
Yes... healing is impossible without forgiveness! The reason why so many narcs stay stuck. They hold onto so many grudges. It is a big lesson of what can happen to a soul when one will not loose their grip of deep bitterness. Matthew chapter 18 in the kjv... they are tormented by evil spirits. Huge lesson to me to keep forgiving no matter how difficult! 🙏🏻💌💜
I'm going through the fog and confusion after 28 years he became physically abusive and it's just horrific when authorities and the law has to become involved. 😢
JoAnn please be careful and secure your home and change/put locks on your doors, windows, sliding doors,etc ! Be watchful of your surroundings as well… I’ve been through this and I am still going through it with Nar/husband of 33+yrs. being married and together 😢 He also put his fist/hands and threw things at me!! Also Psychological, Mental and Emotional Abuse ( All Abuse ) he has/ Is always about with me!? Now for years has been brainwashing our adult kids ( as he never was there for them and all was put on me!? I was dad & mom and went above and beyond with everything 😢 I see how he interacts and all “The Acting “ he does with them. Narc/husband Discarded me a few years ago and Shunned Me!? Without saying or talking with me !! I was lost, confused, hurt and always making excuses for him? Maybe it’s midlife crisis? He needs space? I was in denial as I believed a Fake Marriage, Friend, lover, etc. As he was stealing, disposing my clothes all my personal stuff ( as I bought and paid for as well as my family portraits as a child and parents pictures that I will never get back ( my parents, grandparents, sibling had passed away.) breaking and destroying our personal property and damages all he’s done throughout our home) He brainwashes our kids as he’s done to me and I never told our kids everything/ anything he done to me when I was pregnant with them and throughout their childhood 😢 I swept everything under the rug and kept making excuses and believing his lies and promises as well as apologies!? Now that he is 50yrs old and acting like he’s 20 and he is the victim and wonderful husband he was to me, etc. He only said to me after several years of ghosting and shunning me is, “ I’m doing me!! I am free and you need to get the hell out and have your boyfriend come and get you and financially pay for you. WTH !? He always had me tied down with our family, kids, and took and disabled our vehicle’s we had so I could not go anywhere as he always had!! The list goes on and so does his sick mind/ games and DUMB Excuses!! He is so messed up in his make believe life and leaves out of the Country for weeks at a time and wherever else or whoever else he stays with/ he thinks he will keep doing what he is doing and wants me out with nothing and doesn’t want the courts to get involved!! He got his citizenship thanks to me and his manager position and wiped me out financially and beyond deception of lies and fake marriage!! He says that he won’t pay alimony as well as any upkeeps in our home or give me 1-penny for past 10yrs. Who and what is He!? A Narcissist that wants to keep destroying me as I forgot to mention that I am disabled with health issues but I will never give up for my life and especially for the Greedy Bustard he is🙏🏼
I'm sorry , I am kind of attached to mine too must be the trauma bond because he was never very nice, really, so it HAS to be trauma. Please stay strong and don't put up with his rubbish
Yes Anoushka, I finally saw right thru him. Decided there was no hope in the situationship. Knew he can't change. So I discarded him when he did not see the discard coming. Did it by txt message. A big weight has been lifted off my shoulders. I am healing.
They think they'll get away with abusing you because we are all supposed to be too stoopid to figure out what they are. When they realise you know what they are, they become dangerous.
That is why you have to be careful around narcs. Make a plan, get money and get out! Narcs cannot be reasoned with, they do not negotiate. They are all Burger Kings and/or Queens (they have to have it their way).
@@David-eu1ms It’s not advisable to confront them. Even if they play along in front of others you will become a target because you’ve called them out and exposed them. They will seek to ruin you, manipulate your words, launch smear campaigns etc. They are ruthless. The best thing would be to continue playing along and keep everything strictly business. Have a witness to any interactions if possible. Grey Rock is the term - keep your reactions flat, emotionless, and minimal. Be polite and see your transaction through to your benefit. I would be careful about mentioning your realisation about the narc to anyone in the loop. Wishing you success in your endeavour - and then leaving the narc in your dust.
You are the INDIVIDUAL that May be to " Stupid " Just Plainly Because, you seem to not be able to " Correctly Spell . There is No Prejudice against you, " but I Am VERY Curious about this Particular One and ONLY THING *( Did You at ALL, " Seemingly TRY TO " PAY ANY ATTENTION to What )* OR HOW, YOU'RE POSSIBLE " PUBLIC SCHOOL *( ENGLISH LANGUAGE TEACHER WAS TRYING TO TEACHMOST OF THEIR STUDENTS HOW TO SPELL CORRECTLY, USE THE WORD IN A CORRECT WAY & MANNER TO CONVERSE WITH OTHER PEOPLE, AND DID YOU FAIL THE TESTS OF COURSE. 🤔😂😂🙄🙄😫😫😫😎
In a nutshell: Thought these Narcs would improve through knowing me better with my patience, thought they were just basically insecure ...BAM! I found an education on sites like yours. All I needed to know was "They would not get better and may get worse." That was becoming apparent across a timeline. The rest of the knowledge is still vitally important.👏
Still hurts to get used... yes, you do know something is not quite right but you have been through the cycles before and when it is good it is really good. This particular cycle for a friendship is the end for me and I can't help but be sad, but the writing was on the wall for awhile. A friend that is in a band that I lead, has been playing up to me for ages off and on- I let her into a position that she was very insecure in, mentored her, walked along her learning curve and now she is quitting(leaving us immediately in the lurch) because of some brou haha that she expects me to side with her on. She keeps her friends separated so that she can say awful things about them behind their backs. I have known that for awhile but I had a little fun and threw her a surprise party in which I contacted these "friends" that she had badmouthed to me. It was my way of letting her know I had her number as I am sure she does the same thing with me. I am a useful tertiary source, so she keeps me on the shelf and hoovers when she is feeling comfortable but she made the MISTAKE you are talking about by going after a new target in front of me and treating me like a sidekick. Big mistake... I will put up with most of her crap one on one but not in a group where I am being expected to bid for her friendship. She is now in a position where she wants me to join a little group which is stirring the pot where we all get together, and I have basically stonewalled her. I'm sure she is seething and I will catch the tail end of this anger in a few days, but she has painted herself into a corner this time. The people with which she has aligned herself are incredibly wishy washy and will not adhere to one another over more than a few weeks. In the meantime, she is going to paint herself as a victim but this little act is going to be a final swan song as I will not be accepting of her back in our music group (there is a good chance she will love bomb me again when her project falls flat) nor will I recommend her to anyone in any other capacity. That will effectively end a multi year long relationship which had many fun times privately. Normal people do not throw away relationships like that, but she will not be able to use me anymore so I anticipate being smeared by her to the degree that I don't want to have anything to do with her anymore.
Dear Anoushka; I have been listening to you since a long time - you came such a far way along! You see straight through these kinda people & put their mistake very well into words. They underestimate us & think we are a cuddly bunny they can abuse & take for granted. They do not realize we become the cute bunny with a "gun". We do not need violence, but keep these people in a healthy distance from us. Ty
This is my MOST FAVORITE video! It's true, I do so needed to hear this... EXACTLY happened to me, I saw and left but today was a low day... YES, HE UNDERESTIMATED ME
0:56 You can not compare apples and lemons. 👉Anyone who expects someone with 'only half a brain' to behave as 'normal' should actually be the one's to "know better" ... That is: We should know better than to treat them as if they are 'regular, genuine, empathic people' next to which we compare ourselves. 🤔Our greatest problem with narcissists is actually rooted in our own Blind Ignorance of the empty, shallow personalities they are: We keep relating to them on the expectations they will (or should) behave like socially responsible morally respectful human beings. - and they do NOT have the capacity to be that way. Healing starts when this is realised.
He thought he would beat me but he played the game with the wrong person. He must have thought that I would sit around waiting for him on the bench like so many of his pathetic ex-girlfriends 😂 good bye NC forever 😏
Soooo TRUE HE THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LIE DOWN AND TAKE IT, found my inner strength and went and got legal advise he was left STUNNED AND FUNIMG I WASN'T listening to him anymore, I just WALKED AWAY, knew something was off when I met him but didn't know about NPD, could write a book on the subject now, had 28yrs of ABUSE but don't engage with him anymore i divorced and líve in PEACE.
Exactly 😉👍 Well he died the last February this year. I discarded him for about 2 1/2year ago - the covert narc - and got NC, blocked etc. him at the same time. He was alone (in his flat) and died of multiple organ collaps - he was an alcoholic too... the sad was that he was alone (horrible and don't wish No-One to die alone and not him either!) and he was only 55 years old. I was the one (and 2 of his 6 children) was arranged the funeral and I was asked of those 2 children to help them. Me and the narc does not have children - he has his 6 with 3 other women and I've got mine own 2 ... before I met him as an adult. But I was the only one of the narc' who was a Bonus-Mother to those 2 children and also who know about his things/stuff etc. So I helped the kids - of course. On rhis coming Friday we are going to get him down in the earth (he was cremated) and then we All can get back to our normal life. I don't feel upset or anything but relief. He can't harm anyone anymore. I'm already healed and educated in what was happend those earlier year in our toxic relationship (the kids understand that too and they are adults) and I'm also feel free from those emotions. I won. If You may say so but I HAD already won - even before he died. And THAT feels good for me. 😉🤗🙏
Born into a family like this because then you just learn to like gaslight yourself and dim your light your entire life to make other people comfortable
You are right. I have power now. Boundaries and my favorite word is NO. It has been almost a year of no contact. I discarded the person. I think this person was shocked. I am educated now and have changed. I am no longer the enabler and people pleaser. I am going on with my life. So many lies it made me disgusted. I am DONE. I am a survivor and thriver....... The key is no contact. No contact means they can't manipulate, control and brain washed you anymore. Thank you for your video. You are right on. Thanks for your wisdom. You can heal. Don't believe in these lies. These people are very sick. Stay away at all costs.
My God, you speak to me direct, this is exactly what happened to me after 6 years of narc relationship. Thanks God im a free man in a free world. And guess what? She doesn't believe im gone for good.
You know, I can walk around all day long with nothing on my mind, seems so natural. Just observing things. A narssist has crap running threw their heads all day long into wee hours of the night. Paranoia, they are not treating me right. Its all their fault.
I've always believed u can tell alot about people with how they treat u, so if your feeling off or sick 🤢 and undervalued that's when u know it's not rite or fair what there doing ❤ it's evil ubmake u feel so rubbish about yourself, but when u know better you do better. 💖💗
You remind me of an excellent teacher who being logical, empathetic and accurate in understanding and in expressing exactly what was needed to be taught
The biggest mistake he made was telling me I wasn’t smart enough for him. What he didn’t know was that I was recording him, I have 135 of his rants, rages and threats. We bought a 4 bedroom house, within 3 months it was over after he threatened me and he had to buy my share. He now has a mortgage, had to sell stocks and shares, so tens of thousands out of pocket, I took all my furniture so only half the rooms have anything in them, I exposed him to the neighbours as he was getting out of hand. I put a camera in my bedroom to keep him out after a weekend of barging in just to mouth off, so for the week before I moved out, he didn’t come in as he knew it would film him so I got peace. 2 weeks after I left he found out about the recordings when the police phoned him to go for a voluntary interview and he has been warned to stay away. They told me if he comes near me I have to phone them and he will be arrested and charged with harassment. Now he’s back on the dating website after my replacement and hers have dumped him. I know this because I was already on when he appeared, he’s been on 3 weeks so far so obviously not met anyone yet….I wonder if it’s because he said in his intro that he uses VIAGRA to great effect…he has no shame. His photos are 15 years old, says he has blond hair, NO he hasn’t, he’s bald and that he’s single….he’s been divorced 3 times. I do sit and laugh, he’s 66 and still behaves like a child having tantrums. However, I’m away from him and that’s all that matters. So yes, I’m a hell of a lot smarter than he ever imagined. 👍
Yes I was victimized but now I’m free. He is in debt now for the rest of his life. Has a mortgage. Living on half an income. Will never able to afford the house. My friends say he looks 95 years old now. No contact is great!!!❤God is good all of the time!!! I’m free!!!
YEP, the narcs suffer when they know they lost and have no chance of rewinding. They have to live with themselves and time for them is not a friend, it is a destroyer. It eats away at them. They have no one to sustain their need to reap havoc and watch their daily injection of torment take its toll thus they implode. You just described my ex-wife. Saved from a trailer type existence to a quality life with everything she could want and now, back in the trailer where she always belonged.
I can relate to your message, Ma'am! Painful as it is, I am compelled to just walk away & give up on my marriage to a Narc husband, having realized he won't change! But I'm encouraged by your point that I can heal from Narc abuse, and this further gives me the courage to drop him.
I love reading all these possitive comments. I always felt soo crazy being with this person. I knew something wasn’t okay but my good heart and understanding blinded me. I’m happy to see that we aren’t alone in this. I’m so happy to read so many people got out of a relationship with these demons. All that love I once tried to give her I turned it into myself and realized that she was never special. I made her special. Possitive vibes and love to all of you here. I hope your lives just keep getting better and better after these ugly people.
I was in this loop for the last 4-5 years and it’s an endless circle fake future making,then pick a fight over nonsense then screaming yelling and then the discard, that’s where I am again where I was taken aback is the simply nonsense pick a fight over nothing nothing and do the leaving.
Our strength is learning and finding positive part of negative experience’s. Yes we got used but we learned of it that those people are worthless and we having unbelievable values . So wish them luck with their negative life’s and we will find positive part so waking up with a smile
I have dealt with the ex narc for 15 years off and on and NOW i c who the person 4 who he really is...a narc...I never knew what a narc was but I am continuing 2 learn more and more...I'm just glad that I left when I did and it's chats like this that have and continue 3 help me 2 heal..THANK YOU!!!
Yes. Spot on. Always worth remembering - these people are deeply wounded, in a way that has produced the narcissistic personality - terrified of letting anyone close, refusing even to allow those around them to see them for who they are. In some cases they were wounded at an early age by a narcissistic parent/adult. But I wouldn't be surprised if we find out that some people are born with a neural issue that makes processing emotions problematic, with the stronger the emotion, the more problematic the resultant processing. (Aside from and as well as ADHD and Autism) Thus, negative emotional events - sudden disapproval, parental anger, apparent rejection, are catastrophic to the developing emotional personality, leading to malformed responses and erected barriers. If this happens during the first five or so years of life then it's going to become part of the foundations of all that later grows/is built. Ultimately, the evidence for childhood trauma is found in the adult who can't form/maintain a healthy relationship, or who has addiction/emotional/sexual behaviour issues. (These can also be a result of non-trauma based conditions such as ADHD and Autism, further complicating the issue.)
I was so trauma bonded but thanks to research I'd done i realized that it was only a matter of time before he dumped me so i got in first. He hoovered me and i fell for it but realized what was going on and i got the pleasure of dumping him twice. We chatted casually a bit but he got boared and was gone. I hate myself for being so weak but in the end 'the garbage took itself out' and I was free. He was just a friend who took me on a joyride because i felt sorry for him and his constant pity play !!!
You are spot on I worked with my ex narcissist and made my life a misery until I finally worked it out what they were doing all the control losing friends then I lost my job though it all now I have a new job I'm not sure if they are using flying monkeys to try and found out were I'm working now my ex narcissist can't watch me because I deleted all my social media
They think that you think like they think , but they're better at it , and they are better at , but they don't understand that you don't think like they think. "A dog can only see the world through a dogs eyes"
Ur soooo correct they underestimated us/me...I now have bounderies & will no longer allow him 2 come 2 me asking 4 money, clothes and I don't feel sorry 4 him ANYMORE...I'VE GOT IT NOW AND I WILL NOT ALLOW THE EX NARC 2 COME BACK INTO MY LIFE!!!
After 38 years of marriage my narcissist husband told me that when he first met me, he thought I was stupid. I thought, well then why did he stay with me... then I realized that that is exactly why he stayed. I am 3 weeks into a full no contact regime. I am half way across the country and don't intend to ever go back to that drug fueled porn adicted sh!t show! So done. I now know I can't fox that mess.
Part of the problem and why it became increasingly abusive so fast was because I wasn’t falling for the vast majority of his games and lies, and he knew it. I just kept holding up a mirror so-to-speak and showing him his reflection, or rather, making myself clear that I see through him and what’s going on in his head. He hated that. Where I screwed up, personally, is first of all, suffering with PTSD that’s never been resolved so when he was physically crossing boundaries I’d freeze up and shrink. I’d have to keep giving in because I wouldn’t know how to handle a fully grown man who does not respect consent. Second, though I know all about grandiose narcissism I was completely unfamiliar with how covert vulnerable narcissists behave. I fell for a lot of the emotional manipulation in the beginning because a lot of it occurred over the phone rather than face to face, and I was deeply concerned for his welfare. Towards the end I increasingly got to see these attempts at manipulation in person and finally noticed the pattern. If he wasn’t getting his own way, he’d begin clutching his chest, faking illness and having a meltdown. Diverting all attention from the situation at hand and onto “I’m not well. I think something is seriously wrong. I think I’m going to die.” Seeing it in person and how quickly he would have a miraculous recovery if his housemates were present, but continued the act once in front of my mum and finally noticing the timing of his outbursts prevented me from ever falling for it again. All that empathy and compassion of mine that he had used to manipulate me was gone in an instant. He got to see a side of me that he was probably shocked by which is the side that completely ignored his bs and prioritised myself instead. That, and screaming his head off were the last two tactics he was able to use against me successfully and when I turned around and told him “no, I’m not tolerating this abuse any more” he dropped me immediately and within a couple of weeks was desperately trying to get his ex back. She also told him no, and contacted me about it.
Five min. in, my intuition failed me at first encounter/ nars. Two months later, i got the "I own you"stare😱 At the highest level of love bombing, i went no contact🥰 Shes crashing so hard right now!
It seems like Anoushka had a narcissist in her life at one point that caused her a lot of difficulty. It took her a while but she finally put 2+2 together and began to understand the narc and how they think and act and also how to deal with them, and get free from them. Sometimes she seems (as in this video) to be so happy as she explains to us what she learned about the narc's behavior and how she figured out how to put them in their place, royally, and how we can too. That is a fun and valuable thing to observe. This video was really good information to know about the narcissist that we may be dealing with. It helps.
I am excited to say that the x narc has burned all his bridges. He is now homeless. I warned him years ago this was going to happen. He moved in with a lady last week and today he is out on his keister! I wish I knew who she is so I can comfort her because I am sure he messed with her mind. He is a malignant narcissistic psychopath. This is the best news!
I was in a coercive marriage for 32 years. I finally walked away straight into the arms of a narcissist. Almost 3 years and the worst of all this is that it took me two years to let down my guard and trust him and open up to him. He love bombed me for the first two years took me out to fancy restaurants and took me away to Paris and Krakow. Made me feel like the most important girl in the world but would also blow hot and cold. Let me down last minute, make plans then cancel all the time blaming it on anxiety. I knew something was off I found messages to his ex-wife months ago and confronted him but accepted that nothing was in it. Little did I know this was just a red herring to see how much he could get away with. He started to get me so confused saying e wanted to move in with me but then backing off. When I started to see through him these last few weeks he became more attentive to me but he used to with hold sex again blaming hos anxiety. He slept over at mine (a rare thing) and I managed to get on his phone ( i think he left it deliberately) I found messages with graphic pictures of other women on it. I was completely devastated. I never expected that!!! I threw him out, I exposed him to his sister, his work colleagues and on his social media and he has proceeded to make my life hell. Making out I am the bad one here, accusing me of making him suicidal, saying I was a gold digger who he spent all his money on (untrue) and calling me crazy. I have blocked him on everything but he still managed to get through to me and send nasty messages then apologise and say we are doing it again hurting each other!! when I called him out again and told him you are a narcissist you need help, he went on a rampage. I think the hardest thing is you no longer know what was real and what wasn't and you do feel crazy at times. I did go a little bonkers the first two weeks I even ended up apologising to him! Thank heavens for your videos I now realise it is all part of the narcissist's game plan. I am well out of it and going to concentrate on healing but he seems to have weaved a web in my brain and laid eggs in there so the little spiders are constantly causing havoc. I no longer feel I can trust myself never mind anyone else. And I am stuck in limbo constantly anxious. These people are demons I saw his demonic face one night and the change was startling and terrifying. Stay safe everyone. Just run and get as far away as you possibly can. God protect you all.
Supposedly, narcissistic abusive behavior can be seen as a moral turpitude, which can be identified as trouble making and will be allowed as a police report complaint document and can be viewed as a criminal offense - some countries can refuse travel visas - any police reports can be used to prove bad moral conduct and travel can be refused in future.
Receiving this message resonates an experience not so long ago leaving thoughts of decrement for truth and clarity. I feel very blessed that God gave me the strength to achieve my goals in life and not participating in the negativity of the narcissistic individuals. Looking back makes my stomach churn. I am free from all manipulation and evil minded people. I am at peace and feel very safe. God bless you.❤
My friend has caused me to become physically ill and I am trying to let that go. Also, her smear campaign seems to be ruining me further, despite distancing myself and not playing her game
He was furious when I finally walked away. He thought I would just continue to accept the abuse and lies. I began educating myself and left him during one of his rages. I saw the demon behind that mask for the first time. I never went back but he tried his best to hurt me as bad as possible. All it did was make me even more determined to stay gone. So much happier God released me!✝️🙏
🕊☦️🕊
The only thing I did right, is not marry her. I always knew something was wrong. She used me for $100k in surgery, trips, and support. She thought she ruined me, but Im selling my house and starting over with no memories of her. I will build my life back better than ever.
Blessing to you it good to get rid of the memories
Financial abuse is subtle, and they insidiously take take take and think believe sincerely that they deserve it
I am so sorry for you... I am about to get out of a relationship I started 3 weeks ago... It feels like it's been more like 3yrs... I can't deal with this anymore... It is a done deal 🤝 OVERANDOUT
Good for you. It is so nice that you escaped a life of assured hell. It's encouraging for others to hear it.
That was the only thing I done wrong, I married her even though my gut said don't, more fool me
My biggest shift was, just one day it clicked, I said to myself "You need to take responsibility for your part in this, you know it's not healthy." Over-riding one's intuition will only get louder and louder. Your soul is scream'n at you to listen. Honoring myself, life is short. Be well everyone x
❤❤❤❤
This!
6 months in a semi long distant relationship and she just started the abuse. She tried gaslighting me last night but I am aware of these tactics. Luckily I saw it.
Their mistake was not realizing we have Anoushka for backup. God bless you Anoushka❤
😂❤
FACTS 😊
Narc mask always falls off, every time, not a question of "if" but, "when". I saw it, called her out and kicked her out. Thank you for this video! TRUTH!
Narcs actually play themselves.
Amen
Yeah it seems like they think that’s the only way to keep going, mask the insecurities. I call it “force feeding the blue pill over and over”.
It took me 9 years and 6 years of marriage and a attempted suicide for her to roll her eyes at me when I told her about my mental health crisis for me to wise up and leave. She broke me down and bad. But, I'm getting better everyday and I will be whole again!
I hear you, my experience too, keep tapping & healing
They are stupid really, my ex was anyway he thought I would put up with his crap forever and not realise what he was. He knew he was a narcissist and I am sure I was not the only one that said it to him. Every insult he gave me I knew was a projection on what he thought about himself.
His mistake was choosing someone more intelligent than him.
Facts mine too tbh she seemed so dumb to me but i ignored it
They're the devil and they are in darkness
100% CORRECT! I could tell early on there was something not right with the ex narc. He never controlled me. I watched him behave like an asshat and when the time was right, I dumped him. He was in shock and couldn’t understand it 🤣
You are so right Anoushka, She knew I would see through her mask. She kept telling me over the course of the relationship, "...you are too smart" and when I could finally see she would never change, never stop the abuse, I said enough of your gaslighting, I know who I am and I realize you are the one that needs to go so I can have my peace back. I told the NARC, I was happy before you and I'll be happy after you're gone. My mindfulness came back to me like an old friend. The fact that we realize there is something "OFF" about them from the start is spot on Anoushka. Warm Regards, Survivor.
Self sabotaging the best friend she ever had. Blocked for good after a life-long friend, me finally said to myself ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!
👍I love it when someone /anyone underestimates me !
I'm smiling on the inside, patiently waiting for the time to drop the hammer.
This was sooo on point. I remember thinking to myself and telling others through the divorce that he forgot who he married. I didn't lose myself he thought he'd " trained " me to be what he wanted. Oops got that wrong I didn't stay in the corner in the dark crying. I stood up and fought back. You can too, you are more than they can handle. Thank you for this, 4 years out and thriving better on my own no more being tied down by a needy person.....
Great comment. I have become a fighter for injustices!
Wow😮 I'm feeling this
@@bestrong-bm9uj not easy to answer your question. Each situation is different. I was married for a looong time, he became someone I didn't recognise all of a sudden ? Collapsed narc. He blamed me for everything so when I no longer felt safe in my own home I left and I filed for divorce, it became self preservation..make sure you're safe be prepared for a fight, stay no contact, get a knowledgeable solicitor and lean on friends and family. Good luck . It took me nearly 2 years, but in the end he threw in the towel, probably realised I was not going to back down ( or he got bored ) I exposed him for the liar he was. Hope this helps, stay strong shoulders back head held high ...
Every situation is different. It took me 2 weeks of not feeling safe in my own home to decide to file for divorce. Yes, I was scared about the outcome, that's what they bank on but I had no other option. His rage and blaming me for everything exposed him. Not the man I married, I divorced a stranger. Good luck
I put up with a so called friend for many years, thinking no one is perfect. Always up and down feelings after talking to her. She yelled at me for the second time, then had the nerve to email me the next day and tell me I can get in touch with her if I want to maintain the friendship. I didn't stoop to her level of listing the things she did, just answered with one word, WOW then blocked her. You are right, she tried to show how needy or dependant I was on her, not true! I am happy to not deal with her ups and downs with me anymore. She sure did underestimate me. I feel so much better. Feel sorry for her though.
My x was really smooth until she slipped up.I realized everything she was accusing me of was what she was doing to me. She started saying I was manipulating and gaslighting her. I googled gaslighting and realized I was dealing with a narcissist and omg every video is spot on with this person. I was caught up in her massive web and she used everything she possibly could to make me feel worthless and empty without her. She was always controlling and then finally I realized I didn’t do anything right and my opinions didn’t matter anymore. Then trying to leave shed flood me with bills and tried to get me to stay because I’d never be able to afford life without her.
Narcissists suck and won’t change. Just leave because you will never be right until you do.👍
Same here my friend I got blamed for everything I was controlling I was gaslighting her I googled narcissist and read about reactive abuse and there you have it they mirror you and deflect off them onto you it’s crazy she’s mentally
Unstable has multiple personalities angry anxious hits out at me that’s why I left her and went no contact 3 weeks ago she’s still trying to get me to talk to her
Omg yes this! After I went no contact and then learnt what narcissism was I realized a lot of the time she would project words on me and at the time I never thought to look it up I accepted I was the problem and scuffled more for her attention.
She would say I’m gaslighting, she would say I’m making her walk on egg shells, she will say I’m being passive aggressive
Geez when that mask is off and you see the demon for what they are. The betrayal you feel.
But good riddance to bad rubbish.
I have not had this much peace of mind in the last 6 years. Shes not my problem anymore
I am connected to myself. I always felt something was so off with him. I didn’t listen to my intuition and I paid deeply. But now I’m free and healing. I understand what a narcissist really is. Such a dangerous person! I nearly lost myself. I am healing and never again. I see who he really is. I’m so much stronger than I ever was before. I’m turning my world around and becoming healthier and happier your so on point. Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge.❤
Never ever GO BACK. He will try again in years to come even if he is married ! Mine did for 50 years by telephone, I said sorry wrong number and hung up the phone every time until he died 10 years ago. He never gave up trying to get back with me. I went no contact after 3 years, told him to his face YOUR NOT WORTH THE GROUND YOU STAND ON! Get out and don’t come near me again or you will be God Damn Sorry, You know my Dad was a WW 11 sniper during the war!
Still he telephoned me on my birthday Easter Christmas New Years without fail. I married a wonderful man and have children.
Never go back !!!!!
My counselor/psychologist told me during talk therapy that my narc “underestimated” me, too !!!
I got discarded 7 months ago after a 7yr relationship! It hurt bad and I know why it did! Your channel has taught me so much and now I’m thriving compared to what I was while with his toxic, no it all ass!! Never again!! 👏🙏💪
We know ...
Star Trek original series, season 1 episode 1 … THE TRAP … the writer must have experienced a narcissist
VERY GOOD INSIGHTS SPOKEN HERE! This channel can help you heal and reconnect you to your EMPATH powers of discernment. You got good practice in discernment while interacting with your “personal” narcissist.
You will come totally out in flying colors!
I just got discarded just now after three years of living together. Cheated, lied… every rotten thing you could imagine from a narcissist. When he was good… he was great. But….. wow! PAINFUL 💔
great video as always dear spot on about how these demonic slime think youll never catch on to the deceitful scumbag things theyve done to you and then they play victim.......pathetic weak cowardly liars whose greatest fears are the truth being exposed accountability and self reflection
Oh my brother!
My husband underestimated me as a wife and business partner. All of his deceit and fraud is going to come to light very soon with a forensic accountant. He is going to collapse when it is all open and in front of a Judge. Bam...He can't run and hide from any of it..
Yipeeee! My x just became homeless. They will will reap what they sow
This is absolutely great. People KNOW he's a dam phony but they may not admit it. He shows it on so many levels but when he has a little success he becomes INSUFFERABLE.
I noticed around the 6 month mark that something wasn’t right, he’s a bigger guy and was oozing with confidence. He basically moved into my house and started telling me what milk , bread , butter we are having as that’s what he likes. I’m like buy your own stuff, this is my house. He then decided he would cook tea every night as he wasn’t working, so he could get praised for it. Just a few of many many red flags. I got away from him 3 months ago. Yes I’m guilty of reaching out to him but now I couldn’t care less about him.
* never let a man move in w/You. = he is a loser. He should have his OWN house.
Making tea is a red flag?
@@HorizonHipHop Expecting gratitude for doing something she didn’t even want???
@@nancyparker8363 oh okay. I just remember making tea and breakfast dinner for my ex a lot. I didnt expect gratitude though. Just like taking care of my partner.
@@HorizonHipHop Yeah I was thinking that too. Wuh???
I cannot tell you how Right U are!!!
It’s so scary!!! I am an Empath n feel energy!! My gut told me early on… But never knew about Narcs! Thank you for your knowledge and helping US to learn about Toxic people! We now know what we need to do!
At first, when we did not understand narcissism we were confused. It took me awhile to figure out what was going on. Thank goodness I was only with him a few months and then moved out of state. They really are total fools!!!!!
Wow! I too knew the word narc. but never knew the meaning. I do now thanks to Anoushka and her followers. Thank you all!
I broke the narc that tried to ruin my life.
I have a lot of sigma traits and her programming got fried.
Her mask slipped and I saw. 3 days later she had to make a sharp exit by faking a suicide attempt!
"You could have just used the door like everyone else luv!"
Her rushed "devalue and discard" phase was completely predictable and frankly LAUGHABLE, especially seeing as I made my grey rock replies humorous! 😂
There TOXIC SUBSTANCES.. WASTE OF TIME, I JUST GRATEFUL SHE DIDN'T GIVE ME A SEXUAL DISEASE..
TOLD HER TO HIT THE BRICK'S AND DON'T LET THE DOOR HIT HER AS I SLAMMED IT IN HER FACE
PRETTY YES,, BUT EVIL.
SATAN'S SPAWN..
Same here my sigma tendencies drove her crazy. Rushed devalue +Reverse Discard in one hour’s time on my end. I thought it was rather comical as well
they underestimated me because they always used mind games to people and they thought I will swallow their bait just like they did to other people.
They are sick. It’s a game with your feelings.They are stuck on a wheel of deceit like a hamster on a wheel.
Its a low time for me. I have to keep remembering the accusations.
I'm tring to find myself after this toxic relationship.
Thank you for this channel.
I will keep listening.
Yep the accusations 🤦🏾♀️
Stay strong... Believe it or not your BETTERTHANTHEM
That word accusations..Aaarggh! That's all she ever did .. accuse and abuse
Four months I saw the game in the beginning. I used him.
“Projection confession “😈
i'm sorry for all
the people they abused
a nd took things they
did to all they
victimized !!!
bless you , you',re
amazing !!! ❤
Thank you ❤
I have been healing and I'm soooo happy now...My life is soooo much better without the ex narc!!!
donna its nice to see a victory. important for victims to see that people survive and get happy alone!!!
@Jill Evans absolutely...we can make it through...it just takes time especially if u have dealt with the narc for a while.
After a while I came to the realization that it was me who had allowed her to play me even though she was a walking, talking, breathing red flag in every sense of the word UNTIL I decided I wouldn't put up with her crap anymore, then I got out of that madness FOR GOOD, it's been almost a year since, best decision ever..........👍🙌🙌
Ooffff same! 👏🏽👏🏽
Lmao!!! Me 2. I realized I'm HAPPY and its fcking PEACEFUL being single....
The smile 😁. And laughing. That you showed ! Getting past it? Very nice To see!
I do not even think about them anymore. That's how much they mean to me now.
My ex-wife discarded me 1 and a half month ago in the cruelest possible way posting a video of her and her new boyfriend on instagram. We are divorced now and after watching a lot of videos on narcissism a lot of things are making sense now like her lack of support, lies, multiple cheatings, emotional deprivation as well as her constant sense of superiority over me. I gave her my very best, love, money, support and got nothing in return. I am healing now and enjoying my single life and taking care of me.
This really strange thing happened with me..i was just simply lying and bed and was trying to understand the person that i was dating.and was just thinking about the fights and everything.All of a sudden i jumped out of bed realising OMG he is a narcissist and that i was dealing with him.
Apparently no commucation would work for him, even if I prove him what he did,someone he would deny.😂
I always felt something was off.
He’s homeless now, drinking all the time, having several cheap women, fake friends & a miserable job…
I even dreamed about him cheating; the name was even in my dream. I had the gut & intuition to call him out. I didn’t know what a narc is, but it came out of my mouth like deep inside of me sth wanted to say that word😮 All started when my mom passed away. I feel pity for him, im shining & glowing up, having a great self care time & rising in my job & health. In the end of the 6 years i was depressed, miserable…
He took my insecurities to break up, not with me my friend, not with me
Homeless is great
🙏🙏🙏
I just found out today the x narc is homeless. He has burned all his bridges, even with family. He now got what he deserves.
Thank you, i'm currently going through the healing process. After a 23 year relationship and 2 kids. What you said is exactly on point. It did a while to get here, but I know now exactly what type and who she was. Love is blind! I go through my own personal memory banks and it all starts to make sense. The trouble is in this healing process my emotions such as Love is still directed to her, but I guess that just shows my true nature of kindness and forgiving. Does she deserve it, that's where I find myself, on the fence! But reality is, first day I move out. Is the first day, she moves in her new boyfriend to take my place! I deserve better than that.. just wish I could heal faster!
I'm a member of the club Mark and you know what really hurts is we made a very bad investment thinking it was a winner.
We placed our faith on a fake and it turned up snake eyes.
All those yrs. wasted when we might have found a true winner with a righteous soul. Pathetic.
You can do it! You are strong! Keep going! ❤
This is one of the best relavations to hear - that they cannot heal. How sad that they think they just have to 'play a better game'.
Yes... healing is impossible without forgiveness! The reason why so many narcs stay stuck. They hold onto so many grudges. It is a big lesson of what can happen to a soul when one will not loose their grip of deep bitterness. Matthew chapter 18 in the kjv... they are tormented by evil spirits. Huge lesson to me to keep forgiving no matter how difficult! 🙏🏻💌💜
I'm going through the fog and confusion after 28 years he became physically abusive and it's just horrific when authorities and the law has to become involved. 😢
I am so sorry♥️
JoAnn please be careful and secure your home and change/put locks on your doors, windows, sliding doors,etc ! Be watchful of your surroundings as well…
I’ve been through this and I am still going through it with Nar/husband of 33+yrs. being married and together 😢 He also put his fist/hands and threw things at me!! Also Psychological, Mental and Emotional Abuse ( All Abuse ) he has/ Is always about with me!? Now for years has been brainwashing our adult kids ( as he never was there for them and all was put on me!? I was dad & mom and went above and beyond with everything 😢 I see how he interacts and all “The Acting “ he does with them. Narc/husband Discarded me a few years ago and Shunned Me!? Without saying or talking with me !! I was lost, confused, hurt and always making excuses for him? Maybe it’s midlife crisis? He needs space? I was in denial as I believed a Fake Marriage, Friend, lover, etc. As he was stealing, disposing my clothes all my personal stuff ( as I bought and paid for as well as my family portraits as a child and parents pictures that I will never get back ( my parents, grandparents, sibling had passed away.) breaking and destroying our personal property and damages all he’s done throughout our home) He brainwashes our kids as he’s done to me and I never told our kids everything/ anything he done to me when I was pregnant with them and throughout their childhood 😢 I swept everything under the rug and kept making excuses and believing his lies and promises as well as apologies!? Now that he is 50yrs old and acting like he’s 20 and he is the victim and wonderful husband he was to me, etc. He only said to me after several years of ghosting and shunning me is, “ I’m doing me!! I am free and you need to get the hell out and have your boyfriend come and get you and financially pay for you. WTH !? He always had me tied down with our family, kids, and took and disabled our vehicle’s we had so I could not go anywhere as he always had!! The list goes on and so does his sick mind/ games and DUMB Excuses!!
He is so messed up in his make believe life and leaves out of the Country for weeks at a time and wherever else or whoever else he stays with/ he thinks he will keep doing what he is doing and wants me out with nothing and doesn’t want the courts to get involved!! He got his citizenship thanks to me and his manager position and wiped me out financially and beyond deception of lies and fake marriage!! He says that he won’t pay alimony as well as any upkeeps in our home or give me 1-penny for past 10yrs. Who and what is He!? A Narcissist that wants to keep destroying me as I forgot to mention that I am disabled with health issues but I will never give up for my life and especially for the Greedy Bustard he is🙏🏼
I'm sorry , I am kind of attached to mine too must be the trauma bond because he was never very nice, really, so it HAS to be trauma. Please stay strong and don't put up with his rubbish
@@emilykathleenn it takes time to come out of trauma.
@@emilykathleenn yes i to am still attached, I thought he was the love of my life, I hate to admit it but i cant help but drive past his house
Yes Anoushka, I finally saw right thru him.
Decided there was no hope in the situationship.
Knew he can't change.
So I discarded him when he did not see the discard coming.
Did it by txt message.
A big weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I am healing.
I love and desired him but i knew he was playing so blocked him before he dumped me. He was so rude about women.
They think they'll get away with abusing you because we are all supposed to be too stoopid to figure out what they are. When they realise you know what they are, they become dangerous.
That is why you have to be careful around narcs. Make a plan, get money and get out! Narcs cannot be reasoned with, they do not negotiate. They are all Burger Kings and/or Queens (they have to have it their way).
What if we are in the middle of a business deal and can't walk away so easily? Should we challenge them in front of a group?
@@David-eu1ms It’s not advisable to confront them. Even if they play along in front of others you will become a target because you’ve called them out and exposed them. They will seek to ruin you, manipulate your words, launch smear campaigns etc. They are ruthless. The best thing would be to continue playing along and keep everything strictly business. Have a witness to any interactions if possible. Grey Rock is the term - keep your reactions flat, emotionless, and minimal. Be polite and see your transaction through to your benefit. I would be careful about mentioning your realisation about the narc to anyone in the loop. Wishing you success in your endeavour - and then leaving the narc in your dust.
You are the INDIVIDUAL that May be to " Stupid " Just Plainly Because, you seem to not be able to " Correctly Spell . There is No Prejudice against you, " but I Am VERY Curious about this Particular One and ONLY THING *( Did You at ALL, " Seemingly TRY TO " PAY ANY ATTENTION to What )* OR HOW, YOU'RE POSSIBLE " PUBLIC SCHOOL *( ENGLISH LANGUAGE TEACHER WAS TRYING TO TEACHMOST OF THEIR STUDENTS HOW TO SPELL CORRECTLY, USE THE WORD IN A CORRECT WAY & MANNER TO CONVERSE WITH OTHER PEOPLE, AND DID YOU FAIL THE TESTS OF COURSE. 🤔😂😂🙄🙄😫😫😫😎
*( JUST WONDERING )*.that is COMPLETELY ALL right NOW !!😫
In a nutshell: Thought these Narcs would improve through knowing me better with my patience, thought they were just basically insecure ...BAM! I found an education on sites like yours. All I needed to know was "They would not get better and may get worse." That was becoming apparent across a timeline. The rest of the knowledge is still vitally important.👏
I thought the same! That is because we have compassion, they don’t. I stay away from every person that even resembles a narc
Still hurts to get used... yes, you do know something is not quite right but you have been through the cycles before and when it is good it is really good. This particular cycle for a friendship is the end for me and I can't help but be sad, but the writing was on the wall for awhile.
A friend that is in a band that I lead, has been playing up to me for ages off and on- I let her into a position that she was very insecure in, mentored her, walked along her learning curve and now she is quitting(leaving us immediately in the lurch) because of some brou haha that she expects me to side with her on. She keeps her friends separated so that she can say awful things about them behind their backs. I have known that for awhile but I had a little fun and threw her a surprise party in which I contacted these "friends" that she had badmouthed to me. It was my way of letting her know I had her number as I am sure she does the same thing with me.
I am a useful tertiary source, so she keeps me on the shelf and hoovers when she is feeling comfortable but she made the MISTAKE you are talking about by going after a new target in front of me and treating me like a sidekick. Big mistake... I will put up with most of her crap one on one but not in a group where I am being expected to bid for her friendship. She is now in a position where she wants me to join a little group which is stirring the pot where we all get together, and I have basically stonewalled her. I'm sure she is seething and I will catch the tail end of this anger in a few days, but she has painted herself into a corner this time. The people with which she has aligned herself are incredibly wishy washy and will not adhere to one another over more than a few weeks. In the meantime, she is going to paint herself as a victim but this little act is going to be a final swan song as I will not be accepting of her back in our music group (there is a good chance she will love bomb me again when her project falls flat) nor will I recommend her to anyone in any other capacity. That will effectively end a multi year long relationship which had many fun times privately. Normal people do not throw away relationships like that, but she will not be able to use me anymore so I anticipate being smeared by her to the degree that I don't want to have anything to do with her anymore.
I understand
Dear Anoushka; I have been listening to you since a long time - you came such a far way along! You see straight through these kinda people & put their mistake very well into words. They underestimate us & think we are a cuddly bunny they can abuse & take for granted. They do not realize we become the cute bunny with a "gun". We do not need violence, but keep these people in a healthy distance from us. Ty
V that healthy bunny with a gun 😂
Yeah, now she has just wreaked a happy family in are small town, the town is starting to see her for what she is,year on life good
This is my MOST FAVORITE video! It's true, I do so needed to hear this... EXACTLY happened to me, I saw and left but today was a low day... YES, HE UNDERESTIMATED ME
0:56 You can not compare apples and lemons.
👉Anyone who expects someone with 'only half a brain' to behave as 'normal' should actually be the one's to "know better"
... That is: We should know better than to treat them as if they are 'regular, genuine, empathic people' next to which we compare ourselves.
🤔Our greatest problem with narcissists is actually rooted in our own Blind Ignorance of the empty, shallow personalities they are: We keep relating to them on the expectations they will (or should) behave like socially responsible morally respectful human beings. - and they do NOT have the capacity to be that way. Healing starts when this is realised.
That is a powerful statement that makes too much sense, thank you!
He thought he would beat me but he played the game with the wrong person. He must have thought that I would sit around waiting for him on the bench like so many of his pathetic ex-girlfriends 😂 good bye NC forever 😏
Soooo TRUE HE THOUGHT I WAS GOING TO LIE DOWN AND TAKE IT, found my inner strength and went and got legal advise he was left STUNNED AND FUNIMG I WASN'T listening to him anymore, I just WALKED AWAY, knew something was off when I met him but didn't know about NPD, could write a book on the subject now, had 28yrs of ABUSE but don't engage with him anymore i divorced and líve in PEACE.
Exactly 😉👍
Well he died the last February this year. I discarded him for about 2 1/2year ago - the covert narc - and got NC, blocked etc. him at the same time. He was alone (in his flat) and died of multiple organ collaps - he was an alcoholic too... the sad was that he was alone (horrible and don't wish No-One to die alone and not him either!) and he was only 55 years old.
I was the one (and 2 of his 6 children) was arranged the funeral and I was asked of those 2 children to help them. Me and the narc does not have children - he has his 6 with 3 other women and I've got mine own 2 ... before I met him as an adult.
But I was the only one of the narc' who was a Bonus-Mother to those 2 children and also who know about his things/stuff etc. So I helped the kids - of course.
On rhis coming Friday we are going to get him down in the earth (he was cremated) and then we All can get back to our normal life.
I don't feel upset or anything but relief. He can't harm anyone anymore. I'm already healed and educated in what was happend those earlier year in our toxic relationship (the kids understand that too and they are adults) and I'm also feel free from those emotions.
I won. If You may say so but I HAD already won - even before he died. And THAT feels good for me.
😉🤗🙏
Born into a family like this because then you just learn to like gaslight yourself and dim your light your entire life to make other people comfortable
True and we can come out of the darkness
With the last narcissist it was like been there done that. Goodbye
My enemies had been acting strange for 20 years. We didn’t even live in the same state. I seen right through them.
Excellent! From the beginning! 6mons something just was off. I knew he didn't really like me deep inside. Thank God! Thank you for the affirmation.😊
You are right. I have power now. Boundaries and my favorite word is NO. It has been almost a year of no contact. I discarded the person. I think this person was shocked. I am educated now and have changed. I am no longer the enabler and people pleaser. I am going on with my life. So many lies it made me disgusted. I am DONE. I am a survivor and thriver....... The key is no contact. No contact means they can't manipulate, control and brain washed you anymore. Thank you for your video. You are right on. Thanks for your wisdom. You can heal. Don't believe in these lies. These people are very sick. Stay away at all costs.
My God, you speak to me direct, this is exactly what happened to me after 6 years of narc relationship. Thanks God im a free man in a free world. And guess what? She doesn't believe im gone for good.
You know, I can walk around all day long with nothing on my mind, seems so natural.
Just observing things.
A narssist has crap running threw their heads all day long into wee hours of the night. Paranoia, they are not treating me right. Its all their fault.
I've always believed u can tell alot about people with how they treat u, so if your feeling off or sick 🤢 and undervalued that's when u know it's not rite or fair what there doing ❤ it's evil ubmake u feel so rubbish about yourself, but when u know better you do better. 💖💗
“Just something not right” 💯
You remind me of an excellent teacher who being logical, empathetic and accurate in understanding and in expressing exactly what was needed to be taught
The biggest mistake he made was telling me I wasn’t smart enough for him. What he didn’t know was that I was recording him, I have 135 of his rants, rages and threats. We bought a 4 bedroom house, within 3 months it was over after he threatened me and he had to buy my share. He now has a mortgage, had to sell stocks and shares, so tens of thousands out of pocket, I took all my furniture so only half the rooms have anything in them, I exposed him to the neighbours as he was getting out of hand. I put a camera in my bedroom to keep him out after a weekend of barging in just to mouth off, so for the week before I moved out, he didn’t come in as he knew it would film him so I got peace.
2 weeks after I left he found out about the recordings when the police phoned him to go for a voluntary interview and he has been warned to stay away. They told me if he comes near me I have to phone them and he will be arrested and charged with harassment.
Now he’s back on the dating website after my replacement and hers have dumped him. I know this because I was already on when he appeared, he’s been on 3 weeks so far so obviously not met anyone yet….I wonder if it’s because he said in his intro that he uses VIAGRA to great effect…he has no shame. His photos are 15 years old, says he has blond hair, NO he hasn’t, he’s bald and that he’s single….he’s been divorced 3 times.
I do sit and laugh, he’s 66 and still behaves like a child having tantrums. However, I’m away from him and that’s all that matters.
So yes, I’m a hell of a lot smarter than he ever imagined. 👍
Her mistake was to think I'm nothing without her. Couldn't be happier without her
Yes I was victimized but now I’m free. He is in debt now for the rest of his life. Has a mortgage. Living on half an income. Will never able to afford the house. My friends say he looks 95 years old now. No contact is great!!!❤God is good all of the time!!! I’m free!!!
Today the x narc became homeless. Don’t mess with God’s daughters’
YEP, the narcs suffer when they know they lost and have no chance of rewinding. They have to live with themselves and time for them is not a friend, it is a destroyer.
It eats away at them. They have no one to sustain their need to reap havoc and watch their daily injection of torment take its toll thus they implode.
You just described my ex-wife.
Saved from a trailer type existence to a quality life with everything she could want and now, back in the trailer where she always belonged.
I can relate to your message, Ma'am! Painful as it is, I am compelled to just walk away & give up on my marriage to a Narc husband, having realized he won't change! But I'm encouraged by your point that I can heal from Narc abuse, and this further gives me the courage to drop him.
Just went complete no contact (blocked) 2 weeks ago. They are like children. They don't realize we are adults.
I love reading all these possitive comments. I always felt soo crazy being with this person. I knew something wasn’t okay but my good heart and understanding blinded me. I’m happy to see that we aren’t alone in this. I’m so happy to read so many people got out of a relationship with these demons. All that love I once tried to give her I turned it into myself and realized that she was never special. I made her special. Possitive vibes and love to all of you here. I hope your lives just keep getting better and better after these ugly people.
The 1st step I took in taking my self back was to say No....its the last thing I also said as I walked away.
I was in this loop for the last 4-5 years and it’s an endless circle fake future making,then pick a fight over nonsense then screaming yelling and then the discard, that’s where I am again where I was taken aback is the simply nonsense pick a fight over nothing nothing and do the leaving.
Our strength is learning and finding positive part of negative experience’s. Yes we got used but we learned of it that those people are worthless and we having unbelievable values . So wish them luck with their negative life’s and we will find positive part so waking up with a smile
Facts LITERALLY FROM DAY 1 I KNEW SOMETHING WAS OFF ABOUT THE WEIRDO SO MANY RED FLAGS FROM THE START.
I SHOULDVE LEFT THAT WEIRDO ASAP
I have dealt with the ex narc for 15 years off and on and NOW i c who the person 4 who he really is...a narc...I never knew what a narc was but I am continuing 2 learn more and more...I'm just glad that I left when I did and it's chats like this that have and continue 3 help me 2 heal..THANK YOU!!!
Yes.
Spot on.
Always worth remembering - these people are deeply wounded, in a way that has produced the narcissistic personality - terrified of letting anyone close, refusing even to allow those around them to see them for who they are. In some cases they were wounded at an early age by a narcissistic parent/adult. But I wouldn't be surprised if we find out that some people are born with a neural issue that makes processing emotions problematic, with the stronger the emotion, the more problematic the resultant processing. (Aside from and as well as ADHD and Autism) Thus, negative emotional events - sudden disapproval, parental anger, apparent rejection, are catastrophic to the developing emotional personality, leading to malformed responses and erected barriers. If this happens during the first five or so years of life then it's going to become part of the foundations of all that later grows/is built.
Ultimately, the evidence for childhood trauma is found in the adult who can't form/maintain a healthy relationship, or who has addiction/emotional/sexual behaviour issues. (These can also be a result of non-trauma based conditions such as ADHD and Autism, further complicating the issue.)
I was so trauma bonded but thanks to research I'd done i realized that it was only a matter of time before he dumped me so i got in first. He hoovered me and i fell for it but realized what was going on and i got the pleasure of dumping him twice. We chatted casually a bit but he got boared and was gone. I hate myself for being so weak but in the end 'the garbage took itself out' and I was free.
He was just a friend who took me on a joyride because i felt sorry for him and his constant pity play !!!
Astute. You can heal but the narcc can't. Knew that but hearing you say it made more impact. Solidified it.
Yes thank you much yes
You are spot on I worked with my ex narcissist and made my life a misery until I finally worked it out what they were doing all the control losing friends then I lost my job though it all now I have a new job I'm not sure if they are using flying monkeys to try and found out were I'm working now my ex narcissist can't watch me because I deleted all my social media
They insult your intelligence !🤬
They think that you think like they think , but they're better at it , and they are better at , but they don't understand that you don't think like they think.
"A dog can only see the world through a dogs eyes"
Ur soooo correct they underestimated us/me...I now have bounderies & will no longer allow him 2 come 2 me asking 4 money, clothes and I don't feel sorry 4 him ANYMORE...I'VE GOT IT NOW AND I WILL NOT ALLOW THE EX NARC 2 COME BACK INTO MY LIFE!!!
This is me. I came out strong. He cant look at me in the eye. 😊
After 38 years of marriage my narcissist husband told me that when he first met me, he thought I was stupid. I thought, well then why did he stay with me... then I realized that that is exactly why he stayed. I am 3 weeks into a full no contact regime. I am half way across the country and don't intend to ever go back to that drug fueled porn adicted sh!t show! So done. I now know I can't fox that mess.
Part of the problem and why it became increasingly abusive so fast was because I wasn’t falling for the vast majority of his games and lies, and he knew it. I just kept holding up a mirror so-to-speak and showing him his reflection, or rather, making myself clear that I see through him and what’s going on in his head.
He hated that.
Where I screwed up, personally, is first of all, suffering with PTSD that’s never been resolved so when he was physically crossing boundaries I’d freeze up and shrink. I’d have to keep giving in because I wouldn’t know how to handle a fully grown man who does not respect consent. Second, though I know all about grandiose narcissism I was completely unfamiliar with how covert vulnerable narcissists behave. I fell for a lot of the emotional manipulation in the beginning because a lot of it occurred over the phone rather than face to face, and I was deeply concerned for his welfare. Towards the end I increasingly got to see these attempts at manipulation in person and finally noticed the pattern. If he wasn’t getting his own way, he’d begin clutching his chest, faking illness and having a meltdown. Diverting all attention from the situation at hand and onto “I’m not well. I think something is seriously wrong. I think I’m going to die.”
Seeing it in person and how quickly he would have a miraculous recovery if his housemates were present, but continued the act once in front of my mum and finally noticing the timing of his outbursts prevented me from ever falling for it again. All that empathy and compassion of mine that he had used to manipulate me was gone in an instant. He got to see a side of me that he was probably shocked by which is the side that completely ignored his bs and prioritised myself instead. That, and screaming his head off were the last two tactics he was able to use against me successfully and when I turned around and told him “no, I’m not tolerating this abuse any more” he dropped me immediately and within a couple of weeks was desperately trying to get his ex back.
She also told him no, and contacted me about it.
Who is truly authentically speaking about watching narcissistic videos after watching anoushka?
Ja Anoushka jeg ved godt hvad jeg gør, ha en vidunderlig dag 😉❤️👍
Five min. in, my intuition failed me at first encounter/ nars.
Two months later, i got the "I own you"stare😱
At the highest level of love bombing, i went no contact🥰
Shes crashing so hard right now!
Today the x narc is homeless!!🎉
It seems like Anoushka had a narcissist in her life at one point that caused her a lot of difficulty. It took her a while but she finally put 2+2 together and began to understand the narc and how they think and act and also how to deal with them, and get free from them. Sometimes she seems (as in this video) to be so happy as she explains to us what she learned about the narc's behavior and how she figured out how to put them in their place, royally, and how we can too. That is a fun and valuable thing to observe. This video was really good information to know about the narcissist that we may be dealing with. It helps.
Excellent. Your analysis helps people like myself feel less isolated. Many thanks.
I am excited to say that the x narc has burned all his bridges. He is now homeless. I warned him years ago this was going to happen. He moved in with a lady last week and today he is out on his keister! I wish I knew who she is so I can comfort her because I am sure he messed with her mind. He is a malignant narcissistic psychopath. This is the best news!
Thank you! I needed this since I still have to deal with my narc father.
Very relatable to a personal experience.
I was in a coercive marriage for 32 years. I finally walked away straight into the arms of a narcissist. Almost 3 years and the worst of all this is that it took me two years to let down my guard and trust him and open up to him. He love bombed me for the first two years took me out to fancy restaurants and took me away to Paris and Krakow. Made me feel like the most important girl in the world but would also blow hot and cold. Let me down last minute, make plans then cancel all the time blaming it on anxiety. I knew something was off I found messages to his ex-wife months ago and confronted him but accepted that nothing was in it. Little did I know this was just a red herring to see how much he could get away with. He started to get me so confused saying e wanted to move in with me but then backing off. When I started to see through him these last few weeks he became more attentive to me but he used to with hold sex again blaming hos anxiety.
He slept over at mine (a rare thing) and I managed to get on his phone ( i think he left it deliberately) I found messages with graphic pictures of other women on it. I was completely devastated. I never expected that!!! I threw him out, I exposed him to his sister, his work colleagues and on his social media and he has proceeded to make my life hell. Making out I am the bad one here, accusing me of making him suicidal, saying I was a gold digger who he spent all his money on (untrue) and calling me crazy. I have blocked him on everything but he still managed to get through to me and send nasty messages then apologise and say we are doing it again hurting each other!! when I called him out again and told him you are a narcissist you need help, he went on a rampage.
I think the hardest thing is you no longer know what was real and what wasn't and you do feel crazy at times. I did go a little bonkers the first two weeks I even ended up apologising to him! Thank heavens for your videos I now realise it is all part of the narcissist's game plan. I am well out of it and going to concentrate on healing but he seems to have weaved a web in my brain and laid eggs in there so the little spiders are constantly causing havoc. I no longer feel I can trust myself never mind anyone else. And I am stuck in limbo constantly anxious. These people are demons I saw his demonic face one night and the change was startling and terrifying. Stay safe everyone. Just run and get as far away as you possibly can. God protect you all.
When I here my intuition I always think I'm overthrowing an second guess my self
Supposedly, narcissistic abusive behavior can be seen as a moral turpitude, which can be identified as trouble making and will be allowed as a police report complaint document and can be viewed as a criminal offense - some countries can refuse travel visas - any police reports can be used to prove bad moral conduct and travel can be refused in future.
Receiving this message resonates an experience not so long ago leaving thoughts of decrement for truth and clarity. I feel very blessed that God gave me the strength to achieve my goals in life and not participating in the negativity of the narcissistic individuals. Looking back makes my stomach churn. I am free from all manipulation and evil minded people. I am at peace and feel very safe. God bless you.❤
This is why they keep trying to come back.
My friend has caused me to become physically ill and I am trying to let that go. Also, her smear campaign seems to be ruining me further, despite distancing myself and not playing her game
You are a breath of fresh air. Thank you for this channel❤
I love your videos, I am watching them every single day in work