I have a time budget as well. My problem is that I have individuals who don’t listen to my boundaries (in one ear out the other) and keep disrespecting my space and my decisions. As if I don’t know what is best for me. They are incredibly self serving and don’t care about me only themselves.
Another great video! Thank you! SYNOPSIS 1. Strengthen and fortify your confidence (practice assertiveness). 2. Set budgets and boundaries. 3. Yes, with conditions. (create an opportunity for yes with some responsibility placed back on the person asking). 4. Say "no" diplomatically and compassionately when you really mean "no". (i.e Thank you so much for thinking of me. I won't be able to attend...or...That sounds like a great project; it doesn't work for me right now.) You do not owe them an explanation. 5. Don't be an opportunity stealer. (Don't rob people of their opportunity to work out their problems for themselves. aka don't enable others and prevent them from learning).
I'm so happy that I found your channel. The messages you pass on are pure gold. Thank you!! I'm learning about not owing an explanation, unfortunately people in my community expect an explanation and demand it when not given, and replying with "it's a personal reason" or the like just enforces annoying probing 😟
Thank you for sharing your knowledge. RE: budgets and boundaries. Rule #1; I do not loan or borrow, period. Rule #2; Genetics has absolutely nothing to do with my Bank Account. I live a financially responsible life and others, including family, should do the same. An act becomes a habit when it no longer requires thought.
Hmm. As long as your life has no challenges, that sounds very comfortable. I think of John Donne's words, "No man is an island, entire of itself," about our interconnectedness. To help and be helped makes us a community. I hear Dr. Paul talking about how to preserve ourselves, not about how to be selfish. Maybe you didn't mean that to sound ungiving and selfishly uncaring?
Great video. Love the sentences to say to another person. Will watch again and write them down and practice. My favourite is, it does not suit me to do that. Thank you for sharing your kind wisdom.
I think I enjoyed this more than the others. Why? I've been taken advantage of by wanting to pay forward how I myself have been helped. Someone latched onto me for their own opportunities. I was being manipulated but didn't realize it. There is a naive part of me that is too nice, and shuts down my senses when they would otherwise scream. No, they wouldn't do that to me... This video is great for business and personal. I became guarded more now because I became an instrument for someone's high ambition for themselves. It's ok to give a little help, but also very ok to be wary of how much you are limiting someone's personal growth because of it.
Thank you for your video and always on spot Dr Paul, and i have a question for you Dr. How about the people who have the helper personality ( like me)? I always jump to help people and unfortunately when i need to or ask for the help from the same people or others,they are always selfish and helpless and after that i feel pain and sadness because i made them enjoy my help and take advantage of me. Lately I decided to do not help even tiny help and I couldn’t. Feel disappointed
Ranya Muhammad, It sounds as though you are a kind person and enjoy helping others. Try some of the ideas in the video, especially setting boundaries and let me know how it works out.
It is soooo difficult to change things when he have been going on for a long time, like your case. Follow through on some boundaries and hopefully you see a change.
I know what you mean...my mom is the same way...she ALWAYS claims broke so I ALWAYS end up paying for things or "lending" her $ that I won't get back. SO...I learned from the best. NOW I claim broke too, & guess what? It's working out 😁
I tried to implement a few boundaries with my mum and she sent me a text saying she was disgusted with my nasty behaviour! Boundaries are not allowed in some families!
I'm in my 50's and a man's anger terrifies me. My dad was a rageaholic well still is. Im pretty good at saying no but not so great with my parents. Ugh what a baby I am. Lol
Not a baby, kimbers 123. Remember who you are now and try to redefine the relationship, I know it is difficult as those roles are the first we experience. You can find more positivity on a daily basis.
And also, what do you call a person who has no problems asking for your help but when you ask for help (which I hate to do and almost never do, because of the impending disappointment) it doesn't come to fruition?? And, I have said almost all of my life - I am only as good as my last good deed....the minute I make a 'mistake', someone is always quick to criticize me and if I say NO to their request, forget it. What do you call those kind of peopel, Doc?
Georgeanne Panos, we are all at various points on our paths in life and something we are disappointed by others. The idea of the video is how to not let other take advantage of you. Try watching this video to see if you can get more clarification. ruclips.net/video/3ZKfunvjwDg/видео.html Thank you for watching.
I have a time budget as well. My problem is that I have individuals who don’t listen to my boundaries (in one ear out the other) and keep disrespecting my space and my decisions. As if I don’t know what is best for me. They are incredibly self serving and don’t care about me only themselves.
karakol86, I hope you are able to enforce those boundaries. Get comfortable with the word no.
Be more assertive
Write "no" on a sign, tape it to a stick, and hold it up, point to it and shake your head.
Another great video! Thank you!
SYNOPSIS
1. Strengthen and fortify your confidence (practice assertiveness).
2. Set budgets and boundaries.
3. Yes, with conditions. (create an opportunity for yes with some responsibility placed back on the person asking).
4. Say "no" diplomatically and compassionately when you really mean "no". (i.e Thank you so much for thinking of me. I won't be able to attend...or...That sounds like a great project; it doesn't work for me right now.) You do not owe them an explanation.
5. Don't be an opportunity stealer. (Don't rob people of their opportunity to work out their problems for themselves. aka don't enable others and prevent them from learning).
Great synopsis. Thank you for doing that.
Good job!!
Wow! so good! I am trying to implement these skills as you are speaking. I am working on my confidence too. Thank you!
ERiggin, I am glad you found the channel. Thank you for watching.
I'm so happy that I found your channel. The messages you pass on are pure gold. Thank you!!
I'm learning about not owing an explanation, unfortunately people in my community expect an explanation and demand it when not given, and replying with "it's a personal reason" or the like just enforces annoying probing 😟
I am glad you found the channel, Janet Spiteri. More to come, keep watching.
Thank you for sharing your knowledge. RE: budgets and boundaries. Rule #1; I do not loan or borrow, period. Rule #2; Genetics has absolutely nothing to do with my Bank Account. I live a financially responsible life and others, including family, should do the same. An act becomes a habit when it no longer requires thought.
jacqueline manzano, thank you for being a part of our Live On Purpose Community.
Hmm. As long as your life has no challenges, that sounds very comfortable. I think of John Donne's words, "No man is an island, entire of itself," about our interconnectedness. To help and be helped makes us a community. I hear Dr. Paul talking about how to preserve ourselves, not about how to be selfish. Maybe you didn't mean that to sound ungiving and selfishly uncaring?
Great video. Love the sentences to say to another person. Will watch again and write them down and practice. My favourite is, it does not suit me to do that. Thank you for sharing your kind wisdom.
Honored to be on your team, Rachel Tomlinson.
Thank you, thank you!!! 💕
Dianne Faith, honored to be on your team.
All great advice but my favorite one was #5
Some ideas fit better for some people than others, Dalia Rivera. Glad you liked it.
I love you, Dr. PAUL!!
Thanks, Leilani Pena, Honored to be on your team.
I think I enjoyed this more than the others. Why? I've been taken advantage of by wanting to pay forward how I myself have been helped. Someone latched onto me for their own opportunities. I was being manipulated but didn't realize it. There is a naive part of me that is too nice, and shuts down my senses when they would otherwise scream. No, they wouldn't do that to me... This video is great for business and personal. I became guarded more now because I became an instrument for someone's high ambition for themselves. It's ok to give a little help, but also very ok to be wary of how much you are limiting someone's personal growth because of it.
Thank you for your thoughtful comment, Rob.
Some people don't deserve forgiveness
Ann I totally agree with you and it doesn't mean that people are going to end up bitter either! 😊
Ann, you are right! I just don't want them to hold me back any longer.
This was brilliant. I very much appreciate all of the information you shared. I needed all of it.
Glad it was helpful!
Thank you stay hope
Brandon, honored to be on your positivity team.
Awesome!!! Thanks...🥰
LaNereNere, glad it is helpful.
I m watching your posts for the past three days. All are awesome. Keep it up
Thank you so much 😀
thank you again Dr Paul you are great :)
Aaliya101, thank you for watching. Glad you are enjoying the videos.
Thanks great phrases that reflect respect for yourself and to others.
You are so welcome
i have family who always keeps inviting themselves to our house etc... amazing video
I wish you luck.
Excellent
Thank you so much 😀
Thank you for your video and always on spot Dr Paul, and i have a question for you Dr.
How about the people who have the helper personality ( like me)? I always jump to help people and unfortunately when i need to or ask for the help from the same people or others,they are always selfish and helpless and after that i feel pain and sadness because i made them enjoy my help and take advantage of me. Lately I decided to do not help even tiny help and I couldn’t. Feel disappointed
Ranya Muhammad, It sounds as though you are a kind person and enjoy helping others. Try some of the ideas in the video, especially setting boundaries and let me know how it works out.
Very helpful.thanks
Glad you found value in the video, Shahana K. Sikandar. Thank you for watching.
Thank you
Ambe, you are very welcome.
This is a great video, thank you so much sharing
You are so welcome
thank you so much
You're welcome!
Thank you so much
You are welcome, Happybecky. Glad you found the video helpful.
Thanks. So much of very nice tips!
You are so welcome!
This is great information thank you
Glad it was helpful!
Mom, can I have a (new) tablet? Son, press PLAY on my RUclips video lol
Haha, Thank you Georgeanne Panos.
@@LiveOnPurposeTV you know me!!
Budget and boundaries around my mom doesn't work and I am over 50 years olld
ditto....
It is soooo difficult to change things when he have been going on for a long time, like your case. Follow through on some boundaries and hopefully you see a change.
Thank you for watching, hopefully you can try again with the boundaries.
I know what you mean...my mom is the same way...she ALWAYS claims broke so I ALWAYS end up paying for things or "lending" her $ that I won't get back. SO...I learned from the best. NOW I claim broke too, & guess what? It's working out 😁
I tried to implement a few boundaries with my mum and she sent me a text saying she was disgusted with my nasty behaviour! Boundaries are not allowed in some families!
Expressions 😍
Thank you.
❤️
Thank you.
Do you have or can you make a video on how to handle a manipulative teen??
Yes, Kay 32, I can. Thank you for watching.
I will try these on everyone😂
Good! I don't want you to be taken advantage of, Mary Hamilton. Thanks for watching.
I'm in my 50's and a man's anger terrifies me. My dad was a rageaholic well still is. Im pretty good at saying no but not so great with my parents. Ugh what a baby I am. Lol
Not a baby, kimbers 123. Remember who you are now and try to redefine the relationship, I know it is difficult as those roles are the first we experience. You can find more positivity on a daily basis.
People can’t take advantage of you unless you let them. Simple.
And also, what do you call a person who has no problems asking for your
help but when you ask for help (which I hate to do and almost never do, because of the impending disappointment)
it doesn't come to fruition?? And, I have said almost all of my life - I am only as good as my last good deed....the
minute I make a 'mistake', someone is always quick to criticize me and if I say NO to their request, forget it. What
do you call those kind of peopel, Doc?
Georgeanne Panos, we are all at various points on our paths in life and something we are disappointed by others. The idea of the video is how to not let other take advantage of you. Try watching this video to see if you can get more clarification. ruclips.net/video/3ZKfunvjwDg/видео.html Thank you for watching.
👍👍👍👍
Brandon, thanks.
Theyre all going to jail or hell. Period
?